The Patrick Madrid Show: September 08, 2026 - Hour 1

0:00Hi Patrick Madrid here, thanks for listening. Check out CharityMobile and prayerfully consider making them your wireless carrier. Mention offer code Patrick and get a free phone. Go to charitymobile.com. Compelling insights, unpredictable conversations, encouragement for your day, it's the Patrick Madrid show on relevant radio. Hello and good morning. Welcome back to the Patrick and Dirt Show. Thank you for listening. I never wanted to collect to say thank you because I do not take for granted the fact that you spend some time listening to this program. I really appreciate it and I would just ask that you would tell your friends and family about the program. If you want to be on the air, my number is 888-914-9149. And that of course is the number even if you don't want to be on the air. But especially if you do want to be on the air, just call that number 888-914-9149.

1:04And please send emails to patricatrelevantradio.com. A little personal note here. Some of you have had to go through this. Some of you will have to go through this. I never had to go through this until this past weekend. But my dear old dad who is pushing 89, it'll be 89 in a couple of months. And he has Alzheimer's. And it's interesting because his bodily health at that advanced age is, you know, it's not great, but it's also amazingly good for somebody that age. And yet the Alzheimer's is robbing him of his personality and his memories. I mean, you know how it is. You don't need me to explain it. Some of you have gone through that. Some of you are going through that. My mom, she's still alive too. So please pray for her. She has cancer. Pretty bad. And until just a couple of days ago, my mom and dad were living together in

2:12their home. And they had people coming to take care of them, which is great. My dad was in the Coast Guard a long time ago. Back in the 50s, he was a sailor in the Coast Guard for, I think it was three years, maybe four, but at least three. He was a machinist mate. And because of that service, he has the benefit of the VA medical treatments and help and things like that that I'm really grateful. Our family is certainly very grateful that he's been able to have that to help him out with his many medical issues. Long story short, and I am going to write an article, I'm going to write a reflection really. Some again, reflection is not really so much in like an informational article, but how it makes me feel that we had to take that step and put my dad in a memory care facility. And with a big family, I've always thought, you know, you'd have

3:14plenty of resources, plenty of people. You wouldn't be that difficult to take care of somebody, you know, until they die. And I've learned things as I go along and one of the things I'm learning is although in an ideal world, that would make sense. It's not always possible to do that. And of course, my mom with her health problems right now, she's perfectly lucid, always smiling, very happy, very upbeat, but even though she has stage four cancer. So it's a situation in which it became very difficult or not into impossible for her to be able to help in ways that he might need help. And so the decision, the best decision for him would be to go to a place where he is now as of Friday, where he can receive round the clock, care and observation. People who get to those

4:15old ages often have problems with falls, you know, some break hips, some fall and hit their heads and things like that. So that has been part of my dad's difficult journey in recent years. And the Alzheimer's doesn't help. And even though he's still, he knows who I am, he knows my name, he knows Nancy, he knows my siblings. But if you were to talk to him, he would ask you like, so who are you and where are you from and what do you do? And you tell him. And then five minutes later, he'd ask you the same questions. It's from what I understand, from what I'm learning, it's fairly routine at this stage. And that's sad because, you know, this is the father who raised me and the father to whom I always looked up and whose advice I sought at different points along the way in my own life, the father whom I have tried to model my own fatherhood after to greater or lesser extent. So it's difficult to put it lightly to see this vibrant, strong, intelligent, type A guy fading away,

5:26the way Alzheimer's patients tend to fade away, the way he's fading away. So that's how I spent a very important 48 hours in my life in recent days. And I just mentioned it to you for this reason alone. And that is I would surely deeply appreciate prayers, if you would, in your kindness to pray for my dad and to pray for my mom because they're both carrying crosses, they're different kind of crosses. But it's difficult for both of them each in their own way. And I can only imagine it's got to be, it's got to be hard on both of them to not be living together as husband and wife the way they have for 68 years. I mean, you go from living with somebody day in and day out, having kids, raising kids, working a job, your house, your dreams, you know, the things you do, family vacations, things like that. And I can, I mean, I can relate to

6:27it because Nancy and I have been married now for not nearly as long as they have, but coming up on 46 years. So in my own way, I can relate to this, you know, living together every day with the same woman and building a life together. And then suddenly one day, you're not living together because you can't anymore. Not that they wouldn't, if they could, but they can't, so they don't. So that, I have to imagine would be very difficult to wake up one morning and say, and I don't really know if my dad, I don't think my dad would, that this is the thought that would formulate in his own mind. I don't think that he is able to ponder this. I certainly have, to wake up one day and realize, you know, I will never go back to my home again. I will never walk through the front door of the house that I've lived in for many years because I've got to live here now.

7:31I'll never have the, I'll never go back to the experience I'm speaking for him and for her to. I'll never go back to the experience of living that life that I've known for so long with the same person every day. I wake up and I see her. I go to bed. I see her before I go to bed. We're together every day and then one day comes and then you don't have that anymore. And it will never come back to the way it was. So as I'm processing these dramatic and difficult life changes, you know, just as I see them unfolding in my parents, I've, it's a life change for me. But it's also instructive. And this is something I wanted to at least mention to you as I've been ruminating on this for the last several days. This is instructive because it is for many of us, perhaps for me, perhaps for you, but for many of us, that's the future.

8:40And what I mean by that is I do believe we do well to look at these situations and as sad as they are, as difficult as they are to remember that you and I very likely will have to go through something similar. And I would like to be as prepared as possible for when that happens. I mean, we can go at any time in any different way. I'll give you another example. We found out two days ago, Nancy and I, that a lovely woman, mom of, I think she has eight kids. She kind of worked at part-time as a paris secretary at our parish. We've known her. We never really knew her very well, but we knew her. I mean, we knew we could chat with her and we trade information on how are your kids? What are they doing? And so she was a little younger than us, you know, three, four years younger than us. And she was out for the day, doing a day trip with her family. And they were, I guess,

9:43in a store of some sort. And she had a stroke. And she was, I say was, because we got the word last night that she passed away. She had a stroke. She never woke up. She was in the hospital overnight. On a ventilator. And they were pondering, do we remove the ventilator? Because the doctors are saying that if we remove the ventilator, her name was Sheila, by the way, may she rest in peace. If we remove the ventilator, then she will, she'll certainly die. So you can imagine the agony that husband and the children and the family were going through. But the reason I mentioned Sheila is that she was not just a wonderful, lovely woman, but she was slim and trim and petite and healthy. If you look at her and she was 63, you'd look at her to say, she's like the picture of health.

10:44She's the AARP person that she'd want on a brochure cover to show an active, happy, fulfilling lifestyle. That was her. That's how she was. She looked and she walked into a store and had a stroke. And now she's dead. And the reason I'm sharing that with you is because to me, in a way, it's almost like a bookend for my thoughts. On the one side, the bookend is my mom having sage four cancer. My dad now having to go to live in a memory care place. And he'll never come back out of that. And that's the one bookend. And then the other bookend is a woman who is younger than I am. I like to think of myself as kind of young, pretty young, sort of young, but not really. I turned 66 in a couple of months. If you want to know where I'm at on the scale, that's where I'm

11:45at on the scale. I turned 66 in a couple of months. And she was 63. The picture of health, and now she's gone suddenly without warning, without preparation, without anybody having a clue, and not even an inkling. Some people you say that person's not healthy. And boy, I sure hope, you know, he or she doesn't get hit with a stroke or a heart attack or who knows what she was not somebody you would look at and think any of those things. You'd think that she'd lived to be 110 the way she looked. And she didn't. And so for me, that's the other bookend. That's really what I wanted to leave with you. And thank you for hearing me out on this issue. Maybe you've gone through similar situations. I don't know. Chances are some of you have, maybe you can teach me a few things. But one thing I am learning is that we do well. I know I will do well to take to heart the lessons that come from these kind of unexpected life experiences. Could be the one bookend, possibility scenario, could be

12:53another one. And just to pause on that note for just a moment longer here, the idea of thinking you have all the time in the world is not realistic. Because you don't have all the time in the world. No matter how much time you do have, you don't have all the time in the world. And you may not have anywhere near as much time as you think you do. As I'm sure, Sheila thought she did in her husband and her kids and her grandkids and everybody who loved her knew her, all the people in the parish probably figured she's going to be around for another 40 years. And it life doesn't work that way. So my appeal to myself is, hey, learn from this. Be prepared, the old Boy Scout motto. Be prepared. Go to confession. Don't fall into serious sin. Pray the rosary. All those things that are part of

13:58living a Catholic life, living La Vida Catolica. Do those things have got at the center of your life. I mean, I'm not saying to you anything that I don't say to myself. I'm saying all these things to myself reiterating all of them. But man, can I see it so clearly now? And I had that, I had to add her name to my RIP list on my phone. I think I told you about this years ago. I don't know, maybe 10 years ago, something like that. I thought, you know, I'm going to put a rest in peace list of people that I've known personally who have died on my phone so that when I'm praying, I can remember to pray for them. And at first, it was a handful of names. I put in some relatives and things like that. But in terms of like colleagues, friends, coworkers, people I knew, there were only a few. And I haven't done it count lately. I added Sheila's name to the list last night when Nancy said, because she got the text letting us know that she had passed away. So I added her name on there,

15:03Missy Reston piece. We knelt down and prayed a decade of the rosary for her. But that list is very long now. And it keeps growing in an unsettlingly rapid pace. And I had to add another name to it last night. So that's something for me that's helpful because not only is it good for me to pray for these people that I had known, then how different the world is now that they're not in it. But also, it's important for me to realize one of these days, my name is going to be on that list. And inevitably, it's going to happen. It will happen. There's no way around it. Remember, man, that thou art dust and to dust thou shall return. God says. So it's so bring, but it's also medicinal. It's it's a good thing to prepare mentally, emotionally for these things because you

16:06don't know when they can happen. So prepare accordingly. That's the lesson I'm thinking about today. 88 914 9149. We'll take a time out. We'll come back to your phone calls, my number again. You can call that number. Be on the air. We'll talk about anything you want to talk about. 88 914 9149. And emails go to Patrick at relevantradio.com. Hey, Hi, Patrick Madrid here. Thanks for listening to my podcast in today's crazy world finding

17:09companies that align with your Catholic values is a challenge. Your choice of cell phone provider matters. Cyrus, and I switched to charity mobile and you should too enjoy excellent coverage on America's most reliable network while supporting a pro life pro family company. Use offer code Patrick for a free phone. Don't miss out. Act now at charity mobile dot com prayerfully consider a career opportunity where you can blend your faith and profession. Catholic order of foresters, our sponsor is hiring agents in your market now. Go to relevantradio.com slash forester. That's relevant radio dot com slash forester in Illinois life insurance society not licensed in all states. Welcome back to the Patrick Madrid show on relevant radio. Have a question. Give Patrick a call. 88 914 9149. That's 88 914 9149. Patrick Madrid on relevant radio.

18:15Is there some conclusion here? Just white car. Jammin. Oh, he was great. He was on he-ha. Or was it he-ha? I forget which one. I don't know. I think this is on the this is from what's the show in the two roommates are like polar opposites. Oh, yeah. Odd couple. Odd couple. I think this little guitar bit is from that. And he's just they're just looking at him and complete awe. He's a great who was a great guitarist. 88 914 9149. We'll go to Barbara first in Illinois. Hello, Barbara. Welcome. Good morning Patrick. I was just thinking do you remember Barbara who called you I owe gosh at least a year ago. I wondered why if if the Garden of Eden was supposed to be perfect. Why got allowed that apple tree that we put there? I might remember that. Kind of sort of.

19:16Anyway, you helped me you helped me understand that. I'm calling now in regard to Alzheimer's. My husband died two years ago from it. But I had a situation that I needed help. I couldn't get to on every day because I'm in a wheelchair. I didn't have a ride every day. And I was told that he would be calling Barbara. Where's Barbara? And I just was wondering is the church at any point now I know they've got so many things. But is there any help out there for people because it was painful to know that I couldn't be there. And and yet he needed me and I couldn't be there. And yet the wheelchair and I was in like your mom was wasn't in good health. I was not and I'm in worse now. But

20:19it's just a question I was wondering about. Does the church have a I know the state really doesn't do much. By that do you mean like would a Deacon or somebody come and visit somebody in a facility like that? Is that what you mean? I honestly don't even know what I mean. I just I kind of was wondering at that point I needed help. And I didn't ask for it. So that was my fall too. I think I understand what you mean. I don't well far be it for me to tell you you know what you should or shouldn't do. But what it strikes me Barbara that you shouldn't be right yourself because assuming that you did everything you could do. If you weren't able to do some things just because of circumstances as sad and difficult as it is it's not something that you intentionally neglected.

21:19Right. I know I know that now but I didn't know it then. Yeah. And in the physicalness of that present moment. How long did your husband continue to live after that? We had noticed probably maybe four or five years before he would get lost coming on from work one day. Yeah. He you know it's hard to differentiate between normal forgetfulness and something to be concerned about. And finally it was noticeable and he would not go get himself checked. And finally I said if we both could go would he go get so we both went and of course he turned out positive. And then from then on it was about two years maybe before memory care was necessary. So we were very blessed in the fact and then he was in memory care

22:25probably not more than a year. And he passed. Well again we were blessed. I was praying. I mean he must have been here. He must have been here. He must have been here. Maybe he rest in peace Lord bringing him home. And as the Bible says I believe I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living so that hope of the resurrection and being reunited with our loved ones and heaven before God. And no pain, no all timers, no any of that. Right. Well may he rest in peace. You're welcome. I I'm now kind of I mean only in the in the capacity as a son but I'm now moving into this territory. I always theoretically thought about it but never really give it a whole lot of thought but I sure am now. Thank you Barbara I appreciate it.

23:29Mayor husband rest in peace. Let's go to Carol now in Lee and Deanna. Good morning Carol. Hi Patrick. Hi Cyrus. This is Carol. I'm a consecrated servant associate of the poor hand made of Jesus Christ's sisters. And I have had three terminal diseases now. I've had dystrophy, muscular dystrophy all my life. And now two autoimmune liver diseases that are terminally for me in my life are critical. But you know what I wanted to tell you Patrick is I've very motivated. I have awards from Jerry Lewis from the MBA days of Labor Day and you made me call. I'm really humble and it's really hard for me to call but I just know in the 40 years of nursing that I did solid straight in my lifetime and yesterday I turned 64 on Labor Day to know. Happy birthday. Yeah. Getting encouragement Patrick and Cyrus because what you do in your programming helps our center helps other people all around the world for us through through the sisters here.

24:32Even though we're not even on on any advertisements. I can't handle it but I just thank you for giving your dad and your mom the dignity of Christ that you give to them and the memories that you have. I have a brother that's a Protestant pastor and he's my he's my teammate you know and he's my coach sometimes and he just helps me motivate me to go forward even though I know I slip and even though I know I might not be might be always always strong you know. In God we have that strength like Paul says through that strength of God there's nothing we can't do and I just thank you for your program you you get me through it every single day every mass I can hear I listen to every every I love the program before I'm asking for getting it now the the the deacon that does the program before my oh Deacon Patrick Connelly it's called yeah yeah I mean all these programs

25:33are out there for people to absorb the gospel all these programs are there for us to change our world and you can do it Patrick I took care of my mom and dad you can do it and it's a great thing I'll be with you guys and I love the music cybers puts on even Frank Sinatra I I am such a music person and I thank you guys for the team effort that you do around the world the teach Catholics why we need logic in our thinking in our world and why we need to know the gospel as truth and why you guys come at that open your hearts and always you're saving me and giving me more time you know my brothers said yesterday it's up for you they took me to all of God and they just said sis sis we had another year isn't that great and for me is stay at a time in the grace of God that you give to people in the program like the the the woman that just called you give her hope you give her presence you give her peace thank you guys for your

26:35excellent program for all of us thank you thank you very very kind of you I don't know what else to say God is the one who gives the grace he uses conduits like relevant radio that's true and I'm grateful for that and for people just like you Carol who are carrying heavy crosses and yet you took time out of your busy day to share how relevant radio helps you that makes me very happy thank you hear that Cyrus and that is life oh little Frank Sinatra Frank for Carol thank you let me hear him say that again that was that was really so good that's life yeah that is life um mom mom mom let's go to ronda in debuk hello ronda good morning hello hello pack and hello fri r I um I had been trying for about a week so I figured out that you guys must have been a location something last week um I was going to ask um if you could explain in 101 um

27:43um turns of what happens to the body and soul when somebody dies however after hearing your um your story this morning about your father um that that put in the backburner backburner um I just wanted to let you know my mother-in-law died May 17th of this year did all simers she went in the home she was in the home for four years um a lot of challenges we could see her flipping away and stuff like that and and that's hard it's hard to see that you can't do anything about it you have to let her have you can't you can't and so I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you all of our love and support from all of your listeners uh we'll be out there giving you support and helping you through this um my mother-in-law ended up um you talked about

28:45falls she ended up falling in the home and breaking her hip and her elbow and so they said that they couldn't do surgery on her she wouldn't make it through the surgery so my husband I were just speaking the other night concerned that you know I asked him I said they didn't leave her just um you know go without food and water and drink this or whatever and hot so good then he didn't couldn't remember and so um if your listeners out there could say a prayer for her as well just so that they didn't go that route you know those Catholics were not supposed to hold for that so again you are at the top of my list of praying thank you for um I don't I don't think you realize how

29:46much people love you and and want you know feel bad for you and we'll be here for you to do that journey through your journey that is ahead of you um that's extremely gracious of you thank you and you know of course my mom and dad are the ones who are carrying the heavy crosses um it's it's across unto itself to see somebody you love do that but you have your prayers for them much appreciated and um my my brothers and sisters and I are doing everything we can to try to make that transition easy or easier but knowing that you and so many other people are there praying it really means a lot I thank I thank you for that and I and I would like to add one more thing um I did tell you on my last call that I tried to get questions out there that will help a broad amount of people and I tried to make it where I only call in one a month this

30:50the question that I originally had is going to go to next month why don't I answer because you're such a nice lady why don't I give you a toofre how about that so if you wonder your question was what happens to the soul in the body at death is that right that is correct okay well because like when you have a funeral you you know you you have the soul go to heaven you know what I mean so what's the sense of the funeral if when they die whatever happens happens immediately right yeah it does it does and it's an important question so I'll offer you this you wanted a 101 version that's what I'll be happy to give so death occurs when the body and the soul separate and I think it was Frank Sheade who said it this way he said that when the body either through damage or disease or some other problem is no longer capable of responding to the life giving

31:56energies of the soul then it ceases to interact with the soul and that's when death occurs and the body which is now the other half or the other part let's say of the human person because your body and soul together it can no longer function without the soul it can no longer respond to the soul as I believe it was she who said it the soul continues on fraternity because the soul doesn't require the body to do what it does it can no and will without the body therefore the soul is eternal the body is not obviously so the reason that we have a funeral so let's say a mass of Christian burial in the case of a Catholic person who dies is because that body was the temple of the Holy Spirit because that person when she was in the body was baptized and

32:58he received the sacraments in was in the state of grace at least some of the time if not all the time so there's a hallowing that goes on as a result of that and therefore the body should be respected in a particular way because of that so there are a number of things that happen when somebody dies that we as Catholics do and for different reasons the biggest and most important of all of course is the victory of Jesus over death and sin so by his dying he conquered death and we share in that victory those of us who are in the body of Christ and who are who are in the state of grace at such a we share in his victory we go down with him through the waters of baptism which symbolize being buried and we come back back up out of the waters if you're baptized by immersion the same is true even if you're baptized by water being poured over your head the symbolism is that Jesus

34:00died when in the tomb and rose again for our salvation so at death we see what happened to Jesus but we know that that's not the end and the body will go back to the earth the soul will continue on forever and oh happy day when we on the day of the the final judgment when we rise again from the dead we will get our bodies back glorified bodies that are apt for enjoying God for all eternity in heaven and whatever the opposite equivalent is for those who are damned they'll experience it in their bodies for all eternity a horrible thing to contemplate but that's I guess you might say it in a nutshell and a very good question indeed I appreciate that Nancy and I'm sorry Ronda forgive me I appreciate that Ronda and I appreciate your prayers very much I will relay those sentiments to my family they will appreciate it as well thank you we'll take a break and we'll come back to

35:03more of your phone calls 88 914 9149's and number call I'll be right back today we'd like to thank Amy who's listening in Illinois for donating her 2016 Volvo XC 90 cool and confident with heated seats you can join thousands of other listeners in donating old vehicles trucks boats and RVs by visiting relevant radio dot com slash car that's relevant radio dot com slash car welcome back to the Patrick Madrid show on relevant radio have a question give Patrick a call 88 914 9149 that's 88 914 9149 Patrick Madrid on relevant radio well welcome back the number is 88 914 9149 let's go to Nancy in Dayton Ohio low Nancy

36:14hi Patrick this is the Nancy that you know that you met in the vestibule that one yeah yeah yeah yeah how are you so I'm fine and you I remember meeting you yes I do yes and a I first of all Patrick I want to extend my my prayers to you and my my sympathies and everything and and my support thank you I don't you're very welcome I don't mean in any way shape performed to come off in some kind of haughty aren't I great kind of way and I'm at risk of doing that I know and I don't mean it that way but my experience with my mom who had Alzheimer's and with my father was was I guess quite unusual I um I didn't relish it of course but when the day came and mom had to go into memory care okay all right she's 92 she's lived a great life they've had a marriage of almost 73 years um my dad died or I mean my mom died just three months short of

37:14there having been married 73 God-centered lives I'm so now they're 92 and they're 93 and these things happen and I I looked at as that a gift to me that I was able to comfort my father of course I visited mom constantly at the care center but she didn't know it you know I was still new who I was but she didn't understand that she was having memory problems or anything she was happy actually she was happy my dad my dad was not miserable he was matter of fact about it but then when she died I had the honor of being able to comfort him and I saw the whole thing as I don't want to say a positive but yeah I kind of saw her as a positive tell if they'd been in their forties or something and all this happened that'd be a different story but um this is what happens we all die eventually and I think they died good death even though there were a lot of challenges and I I just had that perspective about it my brother didn't have that perspective

38:18about it my friends were like how can you what Nancy why aren't you freaking out I I just didn't I thought it was natural and I thought it was an honor to take care of them so that's my perspective on that it's a beautiful sentiment no it is and I suppose it's like grieving um we're different people grieve in different ways and this is not grieving of course but I think you're right that we process life experiences in different ways and for some people it can be traumatic or it can be destabilizing emotionally for them and for others not so much and yeah you know the blessing that you had by not being destabilized emotionally by this difficulty is it is a gift and I'm happy for you that you and I I guess I if I had to evaluate myself I feel as though I think I am more in your camp than not yes I do feel and maybe maybe we share this I don't know I do feel a deep

39:20sense that this is important for me to learn these lessons for myself now yes you know who knows how much time God may give me I have no idea I know I know what I think I'd like I have an idea what I think it will be but I could be completely wrong so I feel that sense of urgency learn these important lessons while I can and don't squander them that's my takeaway yes I agree with you completely and like I said if if if their if their situation had been the miserable marriage or shortcut life or something that would be a whole different thing but this was 93 years old they both died at age of 93 my dad died seven months after my mom now I will say once my mom died my dad was a completely different person he just he was done he was just done he didn't want to do in the town he was yeah he did and then seven months later he passed and so

40:25yeah but they were wonderful people and they they have a wonderful daughter even though I only shook your hand and met you for two or three minutes with Nancy and the vestibule I know you're a very nice person oh thank you so much Patrick and give my best to Nancy and again I keep you in my prayers thank you for that we're most grateful for that actually I keep you in my prayers every day Patrick every morning and every night thank you one of them thank you thank you thank you I can't tell you thank you what up that a little bit okay thank you Patrick thanks for calling Nancy we have the best listener Cyrus no question about it we at relevant radio wouldn't you say you to agree with that there's I'm what a lesson to learn from Nancy yeah like I I need to keep that in mind as you know my mom is getting older and my in-laws are getting older and things are not always easy I need to look at this as the blessing that they're in my life at all yeah because at some

41:26point they won't be and that's a great way I had to learn this the hard way a number of times but I learned that I don't want to live with regrets I mean I already have regrets I don't want to add anything more to that list and so I am like super into the whole idea if I want to make sure that I can look back later and not regret you know how come I never went to go see somebody how come I didn't say hello how come I didn't you know whatever it may be man I wish I had learned that a lot earlier than I did you know yeah yeah I know you know exactly what you mean everybody's nodding in agreement we all know that let's go to Sandy now in Illinois good morning Sandy good morning so I'm calling about a book that you recommend it to another caller a couple months ago called the ABCs of choosing a good husband by Stephen Wood there's a very similar book

42:26you know for choosing a good wife so I bought the book because my husband and I are in more concerned about a relationship that our daughter is in I read the book I thought it was awesome I thought the authors credentials were excellent I thought it was a the format was easy and quick to read and I thought the content was excellent so we gave a book to both our daughter and then she has a brother who's close and age so we gave him the you know choosing a good wife book and put a little note in there you know about where right we had heard of it and the authors credentials and everything and just try to keep it real low key so after a couple months past I said you know have you had a chance to read the book well she and her boyfriend friend both trashed the book and they they had three things and that's what I'm calling to get your thoughts on not that they're telling it or my book that I say but I could be more if only the book were my book then I could defend it all the more but it's Wood's book but I'm still happy to defend

43:32it as best I can sure well the first thing they said is well he was a a former Episcopillian pastor and the second thing they said they picked out a couple of points in the book and just that and kind of twisted them one example that they both pointed to as they said the author says you shouldn't kiss before marriage and I said no it doesn't he says some couples choose not to but he doesn't say that it's wrong to kiss before marriage or that you should just gave it as something to think about and then the third thing that the boyfriend said is a Latin term and I don't even my husband was familiar with the term I wasn't even familiar with it I'm not even sure I can pronounce it but it's in Pramatur, Nehill Obstot which and I understand basically what that means but anyway so those are the three things and I would just be I would appreciate your take on any on those sure sure happy to so let's go and reverse order these are these are kind of nitpicky

44:35objections but for what they're worth the Nehill Obstot it's a Latin phrase it means nothing stands in the way and impromatur is a Latin verb that means let it be printed and so for theology book a book dealing with scripture or something that'll be used in education in a Catholic school seminary that kind of thing can and law requires that books that fall into certain categories like that have to be duly vetted by the local ordinaries this is another term censor liberal that's a Latin phrase it means a censor of books and typically it's a priest maybe a seminary professor doesn't have to be and he has the duty of going through the book manuscript of a Ford's published and determining whether or not it contains anything that's contrary to the faith if he says nah it's clean there's nothing in here that's contrary to the faith then the bishop could if he wishes to do so and typically does would issue a Nehill Obstot and a

45:39an impromatur and you now know what those things mean it's not an endorsement it doesn't mean that he necessarily likes the book or agrees with it or whatever all he's saying is that there's nothing standing in the way of this book being printed because it is it has been vetted and found to be free from theological doctrinal era that's what it means but for the young man in question here this is a sign of his ignorance and that is that it's not required for virtually most all Catholic books it's only required for certain kinds of books that'll be used in a certain kind of way and this is not that kind of book this is a book a kind of a pastoral approach to the issue of how to prepare to find a good husband or a good wife and cannellat doesn't require either an impromatur or a Nehill Obstot on on that so you can dispatch that one easily it's just not required and we knew that but you know they won't listen to us so anyway well I mean chances are I mean

46:45I'm not here I'm not here to say they absolutely must read this book if it's helpful to them great if it's not helpful to them okay but the reasons they're giving for rejecting it are not good reasons they're they're not they're not substantive reasons is what I'm saying so that's that one we can dismiss that because he doesn't he clearly doesn't understand when an impromotur would be required so let's see the second thing was that he was an a former Episcopal minister actually no I mean I've known Steve for quite a long time he was a former Evangelical Presbyterian minister not an Episcopalian he actually was a youth pastor at Calvary Chapel in Southern California for for some time and he converted and I could have got that I could have got that wrong but I you know but whatever he was they worked told the eminently opposed to that so I could have got the Episcopalian part wrong okay fair enough but the point is he he hasn't been a Protestant minister for you know getting close to 40 years now he became a Catholic and so his his project

47:52is let's teach what the Catholic Church teaches so there too their objection because of his pedigree doesn't it's a it's not a substantive argument on their part it's a frivolous non-issue really because you know it's not that he and St. Paul are on par with each other I don't mean to suggest that they are but I mean it would be like objecting to St. Paul teaching the faith because at one time he was a Pharisee and he was part of the party that was hunting down and killing Christians he's not that any longer he he converted from that and embraced the faith etc so to object to a book that was written long after the fact long after he became Catholic simply because at one time he wasn't Catholic is as I say it's a flimsy non-argument and then the other one was the kissing issue so this is a matter of degree and there are some people who would think this is ludicrous to say that you can't kiss before marriage but there are other people who would say

48:57it's not at all ludicrous it's a way to safeguard chastity and to prepare in a good way for marriage when you can indeed kiss all you want so it's a matter of degree now if they say I think that's ridiculous and how can anybody be expected not to kiss a boyfriend or girlfriend or much much more so a fiance I'm not going to argue with them on that point I mean I kissed Nancy before we got married that's for sure so I I there too I if they want to say well that's overly rigorous okay if you think it's overly rigorous that's fine we can agree or disagree on that point but to reject the good advice that's being given for these flimsy reasons doesn't seem very smart to me I don't know these people obviously so I don't know what else may be going on in their minds but it's not the end of the world if they don't like those books they're plenty of people who like them and they find help from them and if these people don't okay that's fine go your own way and I hope you

49:59I hope you find a good husband and a good wife well that's the way I would look on except one of your daughter it's different when you see you know I think the book hit really close to home in certain areas and I think this is their way of rejecting it and I mean my husband and I knew these were flimsy arguments and but it was their way of just shutting things down and you know they're not going to listen to us and I and I realized that I guess I was doing this partly I I pretty I thought this was what you would say I guess I needed to do it for my own comfort satisfaction I don't know but it's just it's just a sign of of lots of red flags so um and you're right I think you nailed it because that this kind of flimsy since we've been using that word might as well use it again uh reasons or rationale for rejecting a message like that rather it would be better if she said philosophically I don't agree with this specific issue

51:04or that specific issues of substance but to uh to to dismiss it for these other reasons tells me that you're I think you're right on target and that the real reason they don't want to read it is because it might make them have to change the way they're going about things perhaps and so rather than have to do that they just make these flimsy to use the term again arguments well you did your part though sandy I know you'll love your daughter and um I hope and pray that maybe something that they read in that book will stick God bless them and you too sandy thank you new