The Porn Reboot Podcast Episode 723: Discipline Is the Highest Form of Self-Respect

Welcome to the porn reboot podcast where you get practical tips to gaining control over your porn or sex addiction.

We help ambitious men end their out of control sexual behavior with pornography, sex, and masturbation,

so that you can maximize your life, perform at your potential, and remain in control in the driver's seat,

which is where you have to be in order to gain or maintain the success you want in life.

I'm your host, J.K. Amazee, certified sex and porn addiction recovery coach. Welcome to the episode.

Discipline is the highest form of self-respect. So let me start this by just disqualifying some of you who are listening to this.

If you believe discipline is about public productivity, then this episode is not for you.

Discipline is not about waking up at 5 a.m. It's not about cold plungers. It's not about optimizing your morning routines.

All of those things are just performance theatrics. Like real discipline is what you permit in private.

And here's the uncomfortable truth that a lot of high-level men rarely say out loud.

Your self-respect is not built in the boardroom. It is built at midnight. It is built well, no one is watching.

It is built when you have a lot of relief available to you. When you could just tap out.

It is built when indulgence is the easiest. And that decision, repeated over time,

determines what I call your internal authority. An internal authority determines everything.

So when a man violates his own private standards, something subtle starts happening.

So some of you are really good at projecting confidence. We see where you show up or call confidence at shit.

But internally, there's hesitation. You're hesitating for a few seconds in your decision making.

When you understand that one of the things that separates the successful from the unsuccessful

managed speed of decision making, you begin to slightly overcompensate in your dominance.

Whereas before, it came across as very natural. You were the quote-unquote alpha. You could just be dominant.

But you were trying to be because it came from a place of an earned identity.

But because you don't feel it anymore, you overcompensate a little bit which makes you come across as a dick.

And then when you're under pressure, there's reduced certainty. And again, your entire team, your family,

and even you require yourself to be absolutely certain under pressure.

To be able to pull the trigger, knowing that the risk you took is calculated and you're most likely to win as you always have.

Why is this happening? Well, because a part of you knows that you are fragmented.

And fragmentation, brother, is very expensive at the top.

So here is the strategic reframe for you. And this has nothing to do, by the way, with abstinence.

But it has everything to do with being aligned.

So when your private behavior begins to match, you're publicly stated values.

What happens is all the pressure you've been dealing with psychologically, it's going to drop.

You're going to start having a lot more clarity.

With that clarity comes the speed, speed of decision making.

Speed begins to compound your business advantage. And that is the chain. That is how it's connected.

None of this is dramatic. None of it is a big deal.

It's very precise. Four things you need to do. You need to remove access to anything that you use to view pornography, to act out, to see that side chick, whatever it is.

And you need to create friction. There needs to be something between you and that.

I'm not saying that thing needs to stop you from accessing pornography or whatever your poison is.

I'm just saying there needs to be a little bit of friction. You're not a regular guy.

Regular guys need that shit completely removed from their life.

You're a high performer, which means you need awareness. You need friction.

If I put a very strong boundary in front of a high performing type A man, he's going to say fuck you.

And he's going to leave and find a way to access that thing.

Or he's going to break it or go over it or around it because he can't resist it.

I can create is friction for you.

When you have that friction, it becomes difficult and that buys you time.

You're smart enough and you're intelligent enough to use yourself awareness to do something about it.

To ask yourself why the fuck is this friction here? Why is this getting in my way?

Like I know I can access it. It's just a waste of my time and energy.

And because you value your time and energy more than a regular guy does, you're more likely to think about why this is a waste of your time.

Second, you need to reset your dopamine baseline.

You have been exposing yourself to way too much shit.

Way too much. Whether it is through food, whether it's through substances, whether it's through what you're consuming on social media, whether it's your pornography or sex.

We need to roll it back and get you back to a baseline that makes sense.

People think that dopamine is everything, but it isn't.

There's oxytocin, the body chemical, and there's serotonin.

All these other neurotransmitters make you feel good, but in a different way.

You've just become used to dopamine.

And finally, we need to restore your internal identity.

We need to bring congruence back to that identity.

It is very structured. The way we approach it is absolutely predictable.

And it is quiet and private. Again, it is not some big public disclosure that you're making.

Once you've restored it, something very powerful begins to happen.

You start trusting yourself again. And honestly, think about it. It's our time concern. Self-trust.

That is the highest form of leverage. A lot of men chase external power, but very few men are protecting their internal authority.

If you are a man who is operating at a high level, rather you cannot afford to destroy your internal authority.

Discipline is not punishment, okay?

It is basically, how do we call it?

Discipline is operationalized self-respect.

And yeah, I like that.

Operationalized self-respect. And men who respect themselves privately do not need to overcompensate publicly.

I'm JK, your brother in this struggle.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of The Porn Reboot Podcast.

I'll speak to you later on in the week.

If you found this episode helpful, here are four ways I can help you with your out-of-control sexual behavior for free.

The first way is to grab a free copy of my book. Confessions of a porn addict.

Seven secrets of porn-free men at elevatedrecovery.org or visit the link in the description below this episode.

The second way is, if you're not sure where to start, but you'd like to learn more about my team and I,

if you'd like to spend time with like-minded professionals and business owners who are controlling their behavior,

then join our free and confidential group, The Porn Reboot Group on Facebook.

There's a link to join in the description below this episode.

The third way is, if you need help right now because you have a burning issue,

your behavior with pornography is hurting you mentally or emotionally.

You're about to lose your relationship.

You want to live up to your potential, be an authentic man and free yourself from shame, guilt and underachieving,

then click on the link in the description below this episode that says free coaching call.

And the fourth way is to leave us a five-star review if you enjoy this podcast

so that we can reach more men who are struggling in silence and bring back the lessons we learn from coaching them to freedom.