The Storyteller - Josephine Genaille (Cree) Part 1

While I was drinking, we were swimming at the beach, we were partying over there, and some

of us swam to the floating dock, and then we were supposed to swim back.

But my intention was just let the current take me, and I was going to let myself drown.

Staying with me, welcome my friends to the Storyteller, where you'll find first nations

people from across Native North America who are following Jesus Christ without reservation.

Today we'll hear from a woman whose life was a mess.

She shares from her heart about her problem with alcohol, and the terrible cause that

she and her family paid for her addiction.

My name is Josephine Janai, I'm from Zapatoia Creation, and I live here in Swan River,

Manitoba.

I was born in Birch River, there were 17 of us in the family, but when I was growing up

there was only a, I don't know how many of us left, six or seven, I got a count, and

see, fair and blurry, five, six, yeah, six of us left, and my parents never really drank

and they raised us good, we never ran out of food, and they were both, they both worked

in the school as janitors for many years, and there's a good life.

Every summer we always went to Kettle Hills, that's about, I guess about two hours from

my reserve, we always used to go there every summer, July and August to pick blueberries,

and that's what we, whatever we picked we just lived on, the blueberries, as my mom and

dad were, that was their holiday, and they never got, got no pay, so we just, every summer

we just went there.

We didn't get to, you know, our parents never told us that they loved us or hugged us,

but I guess, I guess that's the way they, they were raised as well, and we were always

watched closely, like we were all, before dark, when it was getting dark, our parents,

my mom used to call us inside all the time, and we weren't allowed to run around, we

were always had to be close by, my, my mom had to always know all where we were, and that's

the way I am with my kids today, I don't let them run around all over, and I, wherever

I drop them off, I expect them to be there, and when I, you know, because, I don't pick

them up again, that's the way I was raised.

I still, I still hang on to that, because I, there's so many, there's so many evil things

out there now today, we lived by the Pelican Rapid School where my parents worked, and

the thing I see in, in, in there was, how the teachers treated other, other children

in there, like I wasn't treated, you know, bad, but I did get a strap too at one time,

for something very foolish.

My teen years, I always, as I was getting older, I never wanted to leave my friends, because

every summer we had to go to Kettle Hills for two months, for summer holidays, and I

never wanted to leave my friends, I wanted to hang around with my friends, and, um, eventually

I just, my mom just, um, let me go one time, and I don't know when I learned things, like

my, my older brothers were always the ones I were at home to keep the house, and, um, so

my mom left me at one, this one time, and because we had summer jobs, so I had to stay

behind too as well, and, but I, and I started getting into, um, drinking, and a lot of things

have happened to me, because of that, I guess that was the reason why too, my mom wanted

us with her all the time, but I've learned the hard way, and, there's so many things

that happened to me, because of drinking, you know, to go party with, some of your friends

and, like, when you go to a party, there is no one there that's going to watch you, because

they're into it too, you know, drinking, and then you end up getting, I don't know,

some things about things happen to you, even with friends or cousins that you've, anybody

that you trusted, you know, when you're drinking with them, when people get drunk, they don't

really care what they do, and this is what happened to me, I just got, um, I was actually

abused, and when this happened, it seemed like, I didn't tell anybody, but it seemed like

that I, I wanted to drink more, you know, and, by drinking more, it continued, it still,

you know, it still happened, so I just drank and drank and drank, just to forget the things

that happened to me in my past, and I started a relationship, too, when I was 15, my,

um, I was so rebellious, I was still living with my mom at the time, and, but I wanted

to go and drink with my friends, and, um, I stayed out, because I met somebody, and I stayed

with him for about a couple of weeks, and then when I went back home, well, the guy I

was with left, to go out, to go to Alberta to work, and then when I went back home, that

night, my mom told me that, um, she didn't want me in her home anymore, and that, she said,

go where you want it to be, and so I just left, and that was, I just, I was on my own after

that, I just, I didn't understand why she didn't want me in her home anymore, so I was young

at the time, and I didn't know that, well, she was, she wanted the best for me, but I couldn't

see, I couldn't see that, and when I moved to Brandon in 1985, because I was living, and

this abusive relationship, and, um, this old lady used to come and get my little boys,

they were three and four at the time, to go to Sunday school, and once in a while I would

go to, and I would just feel, I would feel, I would, I would see something in the Christians,

that they, it seemed like they didn't have, to me, that didn't look like it, they had problems,

they just had this, this thing, I didn't understand, they were happy, and I wanted that, but

I didn't know how to get it, because already I was in bondage with alcohol, and other things,

I was blind, I was blind to the gospel, the devil had me blinded, thinking, you know, that, drinking

is, is, you know, fun, but it's not. I lost my children in Brandon, I lost my children's

for child and family services in Brandon, I did go to treatment centers, both two times, I went

for three weeks, the first time, then I went back again for three weeks, that didn't help,

then I started, my drinking just progressed, it just, my partner separated, and I was on my own,

while I was drinking, we were swimming at the beach, we were partying over there, and some of a

swam to the floating dock, and then we were supposed to swim back, but my intention was, just let

the current take me, and I was gonna let myself drown, but this man at one of the guys I was drinking

what he called me, hey, he said, just been get back over your trip, trying to do something,

I used to have these suicide thoughts, but I had an AA counselor, and I used to talk to him,

I used to tell him that I, that I missed my children, and that I was gonna go jump off the

H street bridge, I had thoughts like that, and he wanted me to go for longer treatment,

so I went to any pay, already my kids were in the foster home, so I went to a longer treatment

center for six months, but at the time, I was doing it for my children, but the same time for

myself, because then I would be sober for six months, August was when I first went in and I completed

the program in February, and then I got my boys back in April, got my kids back, my little boys back

in April, and I was living in virtue of at the time, and it didn't last long, because I was only

doing it for them, I started to drink again, and then I only had my little boys for about two months,

and then they were taken away permanently, the child and family services that I wouldn't have

them, or see them until they were 18 years old, so I just continued to drink more, then in 1989,

I met a different guy, and I had kids with him as well, I had three children,

but it was the same thing, the abuse I received, the first relationship I had with the second one,

and he was all, he liked to drink too, so we just drank together, and until I lost these ones too,

I'd do these were permanent awards too, so all my five children, the good thing was they all

ended up in the same foster home of my five children, and we just separated too, and I just

continued to drink, I never had a home, I just had my bank, I really didn't care after, I didn't

have any children, I didn't have a home, so I used to just go wherever, hitchhike all over,

because everywhere I every town, I went to, you know, it was there, the alcohol was there,

I didn't need any money, are you drinking from the well that never satisfies?

This world has nothing to offer us that will quench the thirsting of our soul, it doesn't matter

what it is, in the end we will find ourselves empty and alone, and one day face the consequences

of all our wrongdoing, but God offers something different, He offers us forgiveness and peace with Him,

if you want to satisfy your soul, you must be right with God, this is only possible through His

Son, Jesus Christ, Jesus Himself said, if anyone thirsts, let Him come to me and drink,

whoever believes in me as the Scripture has said, out of His heart will flow rivers of living water,

if you would like to know more, let me encourage you to visit our website withoutreservation.com

and click on the tab, new life, you can also write to us at the storyteller, PO Box 101 Bemidji

Minnesota 56619, our phone number is 877-766-4648, that's 877-766-4648, we're also online at facebook.com

forward slash without reservation, thanks for listening, and remember the greatest story took place

at the cross, for the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ

our Lord. Friends, there's more to Josephine's story, so be sure to join us again next time, as we

listen to the storyteller.