The Truth About Closure: Why We Want It, How to Get It & When to Walk Away

“Know who you’re dealing with before you seek closure. Can you be okay with every possible reaction? If not, don’t set yourself up for more harm.”

— Dr. Gary McClain

 

“If I could just get closure…” How many times have you said those words after betrayal, breakup, or loss? In this powerful episode of FLAUNT!, Lora Cheadle sits down with Dr. Gary McClain—psychotherapist, relationship coach, and author of The Power of Closure: Why We Want It, How to Get It, and When to Walk Away. Together, they unravel the myths about closure, why we crave it, and the surprising ways it can either heal or harm us. From ghosting to infidelity, narcissistic partners to unspoken endings, you’ll learn how to stop chasing the fairytale ending and start creating compassionate closure—whether or not the other person is willing to participate.

This is the episode that will change the way you think about “the end” forever.

Top 3 Takeaways

1. Closure isn’t always what you think it is. Sometimes it’s not about a neat ending—it’s about validating yourself, choosing compassion, and walking away whole.
2. Intentions matter. Before seeking closure, ask yourself: Do I want understanding, forgiveness, to be “right,” or to hurt them back? Your intention determines your outcome.
3. You don’t always need them to heal. Even if the betrayer refuses contact (or is unavailable), you can find closure by processing your grief, reconnecting with yourself, and embracing life again.

“Closure doesn’t always come from them—it often comes from choosing yourself.” – Lora Cheadle

 

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About Dr, Gary McClain:

Dr. Gary McClain is an educator, psychotherapist, relationship coach, and author. He has a practice in New York City. He also works with employees onsite at local corporations as a mental health professional. He is an adjunct faculty member at Montclair State University in the graduate program in mental health and at Excelsior College in health sciences, where he was named the Distinguished Faculty Member in 2013 and received the Faculty Scholarship Award in 2023. He is known for his warm, sincere, compassionate approach both in his work with clients as well as in his many presentations.

He has two specialties. He works with clients who are facing chronic and catastrophic medical diagnoses, as well as their caregivers and healthcare professionals, on issues that include coping with emotions, communicating with family members, self-advocacy with healthcare professionals, staying informed, making treatment decisions, embracing change, and planning for the future.

 

Books Published

"The Power of Closure: Why We Want It, How To Get It, and When To Walk Away," TarcherPerigee, expected Summer of 2024

"After the Diagnosis: How Patients React and How to Help Them Cope" (supplemental textbook for nursing/Allied Health Education), Cengage/Delmar, 2010

 

About Lora:

Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, TEDx speaker, and author of FLAUNT! and It’s Not Burnout, It’s Betrayal.

After uncovering her husband’s 15-year affair, she turned her own pain into purpose—helping high-achieving women reclaim their identity, power, and joy.

A trauma-aware coach, somatic therapist, and former attorney, Lora blends legal insight with emotional and spiritual healing for full-spectrum recovery.

Learn more at www.LoraCheadle.com

 

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