The Wire - December 24, 2025

//The Wire//2300Z December 24, 2025//
//FESTIVE//
//BLUF: UNIDENTIFIED AIRCRAFT PILOTED BY MAN IN RED SUIT SPOTTED DEPARTING NORTH POLE.//

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-International Events-

North Pole: Yesterday afternoon Santa's elves were carrying out final preparations for the yearly trip around the world. 

This year, a slight delay was noted by the Northern Observatory for Elvish Labor due to some of the flight plan paperwork and airspace clearance permits arriving a bit later than expected. Once the various paperwork was filed, the Supervisory Administrator for Nighttime Transportation Activities confirmed that Santa was able to complete final preparations for delivery this afternoon.

Greenland: Earlier this evening, a US Air Force RADAR site detected an object departing the North Pole. As the object flew over the Norwegian territory of Svalbard, observers saw a bright red light shining from the object, marking it's position in the night sky.

Alaska: Some time later, the United States Air Force Center for Logistical Analysis of Unknown Sky Events scrambled F-16 fighter aircraft to visually confirm the presence of Mr. Clause, however the pilots were unable to keep up with Santa as he was flying much too fast for normal aircraft. At Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson, the director of the Joint Organization for Leading Logistics, Yearly stated that he had never before seen anything fly so fast, and that Santa's sleigh must have been upgraded earlier this year.

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Analyst Comments: Santa Claus is indeed coming to town. For those who want to track Santa in real time NORAD has their yearly tracker to help find out where Santa is flying right now, which can be found at www.noradsanta.org.

As a reminder, it is recommended that all children go to bed a bit early tonight, as local zoning regulations mean that Santa cannot deliver presents while everyone is still awake. St. Nicholas' power does work globally, however it is helpful to make his job a little easier when possible as he has a lot of homes to visit!

As such, may everyone have a Merry Christmas, and to all a good night!

Analyst: S2A1
Research: https://publish.obsidian.md/s2underground
Disclaimer: No LLMs were used in the writing of this report.
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