Tiger Woods Has A Problem, Clone Calls

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Thanks to Matt Norlander, we're in two hour number two.

Welcome back.

I'm Jim Roll.

More good afternoon.

What's good?

What's bracket?

With professional grid products for our industry Granger, as you've covered,

it's colorclickgranger.com or stop on by.

Alright, so we start hour number two.

I've got thoughts on Tiger Woods and the weekend he had,

but first some reaction from you.

You have your phone number.

You know where to find me on action.

Now how to hit me up on email?

Stucknuts in.

Stucknut, the jungle historian, quote,

I think Matt Norlander knows more about the show than I do.

Close, dude.

He might.

I will say this.

He's the only guest I know that can produce Alvi up in the middle of an interview.

And then when he doesn't get the response he's looking for,

say, hey, Alvi, today, today would be cool.

Alvi, you got vaporized by the guest.

By the way, Alvi, anytime now, there we go.

Thank you.

Appreciate it.

So great.

By the way, Alvi, anytime now.

Mike and Prescott Road, Matt Norlander is a dude.

Move over on T.C.

They're both dudes.

They just do different things.

They're both elite at what they do, but they do different things.

The N.T.C. and Matt.

I think they would both agree about each other in that way.

And Peter underscore G's.

Hi.

When you get a chance, can you talk about Mama Hurley and her,

who do you think you are?

I am blast at the buzzer beater.

Hashtag.

Lipreader is anonymous.

All right.

And then you've got the Hurley parents.

Let's see.

Mama.

Wow.

Yeah, I'm not the best at reading lips, but I got that one.

She made that pretty clear.

It's a very intense family, very successful family.

Basketball through and through.

They have seen it all, done it all, been through it all.

You imagine what she's seen.

You imagine being Mama Hurley.

Married to one of the greatest coaches, high school coaches ever.

So wife of, he's also one of the biggest hardasses ever.

Super, super tough.

So you've got pops.

So she's married to him, but also the mother to Dan and Bobby.

You think maybe that guy I was seeing a few things?

I thought her expression, the way she expressed herself,

like use your words.

Oh, she did.

She did.

But why not?

Amazing moment.

One of the greatest moments.

At the Sandlock quote, great conversation, great insights

at Matt Norlander pulling one from the at big heads playbook,

producing on the fly, treating Allen like a jukebox.

That was awesome.

See, Alan eventually got to it, but Alan did not crack back on Matt.

Either out of respect to Matt or Matt was not shooting the kind of volume

that the big head would back in the day.

But as I mentioned last week, Alvi famously hit James Kelly with quote,

I'm not an effing jukebox, James.

Thank you, Alan.

Because that's back when we had our betting podcast and the head settled in

and the head was very comfortable just banging away, banging away.

And after Alvi had already dropped like 20 drops for him,

it wasn't enough.

James needed number 21.

And that's when Alvi F bombed him.

I'm not a bleeping jukebox, James.

Snacks, two years ago, you posed the question.

Tell me why you don't like Dan Hurley.

I hurriedly emailed you my three thoughtful points

as to why I really dislike that dude.

I was wrong.

Dead wrong.

Dan Hurley is awesome.

Wrong.

I love the guy and his act.

Jim and Pensacola wore more horse racing in the jungle.

Incredible.

Come back.

Incredible win.

1-800-636-8686.

All right, so new hour new topic.

Stock Tiger Woods for a minute.

Yo, tag.

Hey, take a hand, bro.

You, I know.

I know.

I don't want to be a hypocrite.

Saying something sucks is not a take.

You suck at driving.

And that's what we're talking about.

You're driving.

Then it's okay to say it.

You suck at driving.

Tag.

You used to hit the best driver ever.

But now you were just the worst driver ever.

So take a hint.

Let somebody else drive you around.

Sincerely, planet earth.

It's the one thing we can all agree upon

when it comes to the cat.

This dude should not be behind the wheel anymore.

Well, all of us can agree upon that.

Except the cat himself.

At TMZ posted.

Quote.

Tiger Woods reportedly will not hire driver

due to privacy concerns.

Oh, man, how rich is that?

So in other words, Tiger is like.

Tiger is like, hey, why don't you hire a driver?

That's private.

That's private.

No, I will not hire a driver because I'm private.

That's private.

No, I'm not hiring a driver.

Well, why, cat?

Look at you.

Your rig is on its side again.

Why not?

That's private.

That's private.

Privacy.

That's your reason?

That's what you're going with.

That's private.

Privacy.

Really, bro.

Privacy.

Private.

Yo.

Tigray.

Here's a thought.

If you're such a private dude who doesn't want people

all up in your business, then stop rolling SUVs.

Stop speeding around allegedly under the influence and rolling your SUV

and you'll have a hell of a lot more privacy.

I guarantee it.

Private.

Do that and then no one's going to be prowling around going through your garbage

and talking to everybody close to you asking what the hell is going on with you, dude?

Or you're dude?

Best way to maintain your privacy and keep people out of your business

is to stop getting wasted and rolling your whips allegedly.

Hey, dude.

If you can get from point A to point B without your land rover being flipped over

and you crawling out the other window, no one will bother you

and you will still have your precious privacy.

Private.

I'm sure given how badly he jacked up his life and his body

that this dude's probably dealing with all sorts of demons.

But this much I do know the only way out is straight through.

And this dude is acting like he has no problems at all.

Like we're the ones with the problem.

Not him.

Oh no, he's all good.

For instance, a source told People Magazine that Tiger Quote thinks that he is fine to drive.

End of quote.

Oh, Tiger thinks he's fine to drive.

Somebody should go ask his land rover that's lying on its side

if the cat is fine to drive.

Oh, you're fine to drive.

Spoken exactly like somebody who is definitely not fine to drive.

Or go ask that rig that he destroyed here in SoCal that nearly cost him his leg.

But he thinks he's fine to drive.

Yeah, you're the only one who thinks that you're fine to drive.

The same source also said he quote despises public scrutiny.

End of quote.

I mean, none of this is funny except for that.

Well, actually, some of it is funny.

That's really funny.

For a guy who despises public scrutiny,

I'm not sure I've ever seen a guy who invites it more aggressively than you do.

Elgato.

You want to get the public off your back.

You hate public scrutiny.

You want to get the public off your back.

Stop getting peeled up allegedly.

And flipping your car is over.

I mean, can this dude even make it from his house to a gas station without flipping his rig?

I mean, I can even help you with that flipping the rig addiction that you have that you can't seem to kick.

If you're not going to get help for whatever substance addiction that you seem to have,

this seems to be leading to all these terrible decisions.

I can help you with your other addiction.

Your addiction to flipping your exotic whips and your SUVs.

Higher a private driver.

Private.

See?

You win.

It's private.

Higher a private driver.

It solves both things.

One, that's private.

That's private.

And two, you're not driving anymore.

And putting yourself or anybody else at risk.

And it's a private driver.

That would at least diminish the number of times we see you crawling out an upside down vehicle with a subsequent mug shot.

But nope, nope, nope, nope.

Can't have that.

Can't have that.

Can't have anybody else in the car with him because he's too private.

Private.

That's private.

Private.

Why do I say that?

Because again, according to People Magazine, he will not hire a driver because, quote,

he doesn't want anyone to watch over him or nobody's doing.

End quote.

Yeah, because you have nothing to hide, right?

That's not sus.

Oh, no, I don't want anybody watching over me.

Why?

What are you doing?

What do you have to hide?

Why do you not want somebody watching over you?

Bro, what else is there that we don't already know?

In fact, at this point, somebody watching over you and knowing what you're doing,

not always not a bad thing.

It's a very good thing.

Probably the best thing because you are still making the worst choices and decisions.

Apparently, you have not improved in that area at all.

But again, fine.

Fine.

You want private.

Private.

You don't want anybody to know what you're up to.

You don't want anybody watching over you or knowing what you're doing.

And you hate all the public scrutiny.

Fine.

Then stop showing up in mug shots.

You want privacy?

Stop doing that.

That's public right there.

I don't know if you know that, Ty.

That's public.

That's not a bad family pick.

That's a bad public mugger.

That there it is, the latest real verified tiger mugger.

The face of a man who hates public scrutiny plastered all over the internet

and everybody news outlet in the world after his arrest.

How's that privacy grab you, Kat?

Man, that's just the richest thing ever.

Richer than even the guy himself.

You hate public scrutiny, yet there you are with a mug shot.

And there's probably not a single human being on this planet who hasn't seen it.

And you hate public scrutiny.

Wow.

Best thing of all too is he turned it into a marketing opportunity.

He's wearing Tiger merch in his Tiger mugger.

So of course the Tiger mugger merch is now being sold out.

Because who wouldn't want the same polo shirt the Tiger was wearing when he got all

peeled up allegedly and flipped his car again.

Kind of like that.

The super fans wanted to wear his Sunday red.

Now they all want to wear his DUI blue.

Sunday red, do we blue?

Sunday red, do we blue?

Which one?

Sunday red, do we blue?

Wait a minute.

You don't even need to make a choice.

Get them both.

Sunday red, do we blue?

What do I rock today?

What's today?

All right.

Sunday, so Sunday red, what's today?

Any day but Sunday?

Well, that's a DUI day.

DUI Monday, DUI Tuesday, DUI Wednesday, DUI Thursday, DUI Friday, DUI Saturday.

Can't lose.

Hey, look, Tiger, don't even take it from me.

Like you think I've been on you for years.

Don't even take it from me.

Take it from your own inner circle.

I know you like to keep that circle tight.

Because you know, you're so private.

Private.

I know you keep your circle tight.

But apparently, and according to reports, people around you, bro, the reaction is not

one of, wow, we're really concerned.

We need to get him help.

The reaction according to these reports over the weekend is, man, we're pissed.

We've had enough.

Wake up.

Get it together, bro.

At TMZ, quote, Tiger Woods is

the latest DUI arrest, reportedly has friends wondering when he's going to, quote,

get real and keep the real and start acting his age.

That's not exactly like, hey, man, we're terrified.

We're really afraid.

We're really concerned about him.

We know he needs some help.

They want to know when he's going to get it together and start acting his age.

The TMZ article even has the following quote, Tiger has yet to look in the mirror

and say, you're 50 years old and need to act like it and to quote.

So maybe those writing these columns went looking for a certain story.

But notice what we're not hearing.

We're not hearing anybody take up for this guy.

We're, whenever in the past, something happened.

There's always somebody who was there who would have his back.

Where are these people now?

Hey, cat, cat.

I know cats are really sensitive.

Like I'm looking at our old cat right now, man.

There's nothing that DU doesn't hear.

He freaks out on everything.

Hey, cat, I know you hear me.

Get real.

Start acting your age, bro, sincerely not me, but your friends, your friends, your inner circle.

Also, your girlfriend, your girlfriend, reportedly is not happy at all.

She's quote, pissed, disappointed and not happy at all.

Quote end of quote, that's a quote.

So once again, dude, wake up.

Take it, bro, we all get it.

You've been through hell.

There are things that you're going through that we don't know or fully understand.

We know lots of surgeries, lots of pain.

I get it.

You know what?

Happens to a soul.

Happens to a soul.

See?

You yourself said it.

Happens to a soul.

Happens to a soul.

Happens to a soul.

Yeah.

Happens to a soul.

But you know what does not happen to a soul?

Rolling an SUV multiple times in the span of just a few years.

Yes, you used to have the best driver ever, but that's all in the past.

And now you're just the worst driver ever.

So let somebody drive you cat and get the hope you need.

Get your priorities straight.

Playing the masters is not a priority right now.

I don't even know the playing golf is a priority right now.

Get the hope you need and get a driver.

Because we're all worried about you to a certain extent.

But the thing is, bro, we're way more worried about everybody else that's on the road.

And you should be too.

You used to be that when we saw a cat made...

We see cat, mate.

It's a pretty good thing.

Now when we see it, it could be lethal.

Wake up.

Forget about the masters.

I forget about golf in general.

Get the hope you need.

See, you're never...

And this is not easy for anybody, all right?

I've talked to athletes for decades.

I've talked to human beings for decades.

Nobody likes getting old.

Nobody likes not being what they once were.

All right?

Hey, to quote you, cat, happens to us all.

Happens to us all.

You're never going to be the dude that you once were.

Except that.

Stop living in and chasing the past and focus on what matters most.

Not what's behind you, but what's in front of you.

And your health and your sobriety before you do even more harm to yourself

and take one of us with you.

Wake up.

Wake up.

I thought the reaction, at least according to these reports,

of his girlfriend and his friends,

and those around him was extremely telling.

Nobody was saying we are really, really worried.

They sound fed up.

For real.

Take some ownership of this.

Get control.

Even funnier to me was like the reaction was like, damn, man.

This is embarrassing.

Not this is concerning.

This is disturbing.

This is embarrassing.

It's a bad look for all of us, bro.

Stop making us look bad.

Is that what we've reached?

Stop making us look bad.

This is embarrassing.

Man, get it together and get the hell out.

He's also not allowed to drive her kids, apparently.

The secret service will not.

So here he is saying, I don't need a driver.

I'm fine.

Yeah, but they won't let you drive those kids.

They don't think you're fine because explicitly the secret service

reportedly has been told, do not let him drive the kids.

But you're fine.

But you're okay to drive?

That doesn't sound fine.

They don't think you're fine.

If they won't let you drive the kids, they don't think you're fine.

Bro, I think that you just don't want anybody knowing where you're going,

what you're doing,

and how fast you're getting there.

That's what I think.

Haunted horse quote, hey Jim,

TMZ's report is not accurate at all.

I won't hire a driver

because I would have to occasionally tip them.

It's time Tiger.

No, but you would have to pay him

and it's one of the same, right?

It's money.

And Tiger seems like he's going to run out of money pretty soon.

Sure he doesn't.

Tiger could live to be eight million and never run out of money.

Bro, don't you think putting a guy on payroll

would be better than all of this?

Let me ask you something, Eldrick,

how much money would you have paid to prevent

the last week from happening again?

What kind of a price would you put on that?

He's cheap as you.

What kind of a price?

If somebody said to you, hey, Tiger,

we have this technology, really expensive.

But we can rewind everything that just happened

and nobody would ever know.

Like we could wipe this whole thing clean.

Nobody would ever know that you once again

put your land rover on its side.

What would that be worth to you?

Would you pay 50 grand?

Would you pay 100 grand?

I would imagine you've scratched a lot of checks

to make a lot of things go away over the years.

What would you pay for that?

Because I bet you could get a driver annually

for less the amount that would cost to make this thing go away.

Because this is not going away.

And the thing that you hate most of all,

public scrutiny just smacked you right up the head again

because of your choice, your decision.

What is it going to take for you to get the help that you need

and start making better choices?

Incredible.

Hey, Romi, I can't believe Tiger is the last one to know he sucks

regards Dino and Vegas.

Burger in Florida.

Here's one, men of love, new handles,

at Red Wing Diamond.

I like my chances of getting arrested.

I like my chances.

One more thought, and I know I'm running along on this.

So the Dewey may not stick.

The DUI may not stick in Florida

because they can't get him on anything in particular, right?

There's nothing in his system

because he blew a triple zero for alcohol

but authorities on the scene arrested him

because they thought he was impaired.

But he did not agree to your analysis

so they can't get him on anything in particular

so the DUI may not stick legally.

But who really cares?

Because it's going to stick to all of us mentally.

In terms of perception, it's going to stick.

Like this is not the first Dewey that he's gotten out of.

But legally that does matter to him.

I'm sure.

But in terms of perception, it'll stick.

We'll all see it that way.

And finally, Jamie and Green Bay, quote,

if Tiger won't stop driving,

we need a Tiger alarm to warn us

to stay off the road when he's out.

It kind of makes me never want to go to Florida.

No offense, Florida, but...

We see Cat, mate.

We see Cat, mate.

We see Cat, mate.

There is your alarm.

We see Cat.

How he on the fly.

We see Cat, mate.

How he stopped that for one second.

Oh.

If you're driving around, you know, like if you hear a siren,

you immediately look in your review mirror

and you know to get to the right side of the road.

Because always, it's a paramedic, it's a fire truck,

it's a police officer, it's something.

But when you hear a siren, you know, immediately.

You immediately look in the mirror

and you look for clearance to get to the side of the road.

From now on, going forward,

when you hear this alarm when you're driving,

you immediately get to the right side of the road.

We see Cat, mate.

We see Cat, mate.

We see Cat, mate.

That means Tiger Woods is driving.

We see Cat, mate.

We see Cat, mate.

Just do it.

We see Cat, mate.

If you're not going to get a driver

and you're going to insist on getting behind the wheel

to car yourself,

we all need to look out for ourselves.

We can hear that alarm going forward.

We see Cat, mate.

Immediately.

And be careful doing it.

Look in your review mirror,

beside your mirror, do what you have to do,

and then get to the side of the road

and let the other pass.

Like you would any other siren.

We see Cat, mate.

Well done, Alvin.

Thanks for doing your part, Alvin.

Because the Cat, obviously, is not doing his.

All right, and nor am I.

Oh, 25 minutes.

It's all our programmers.

Sorry about that.

That'll happen.

Hopefully not too often, but that'll happen.

All right, when we come back.

Toe fun lines are wide open.

Top of the hour, join McGuire.

He's going to join me, Texas Tech.

Coming off big year.

Went to the college football playoff.

And they've got some big timers getting ready

for the NFL Draft.

We will talk to him about that.

And I've got more to get to, including Michigan and Arizona.

And your reaction and your thoughts.

About a telephone call.

1-800-636-8686.

And don't forget the after-hour.

We'll be co-hosted today by James Kelly.

He and I have a lot to cover.

All of that still ahead.

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A couple things.

We do not have a second guest today.

We had one, and now we don't.

So join McGuire is not available today.

Hey, good news is,

maybe I'll interview one of you clones.

I haven't done that in a long time.

Sometimes when a guest cancels,

I always say,

you should pitch me a why I should talk to you.

And the most interesting clone to show up

with the most interesting story

will get interviewed by me.

And I've tried this number of times over the years.

You know, many times we've actually done this.

Never.

But I've tried it.

I've always said,

if you have any kind of athletic background,

or even I would say at this point,

any kind of interesting background,

or interesting story,

if you can get it too tall,

or Alex Hattie,

and we feel like it's legitimate,

I may do a Q&A,

and then you can live the dream.

Be interviewed by a radio hall famer

on a gigantic platform,

since our guest dropped off.

But chances are that won't happen.

I mean, I'll put it out there.

I've tried this before.

But every time I've tried this,

it has not worked.

Softball guy shows up,

or somebody who had a cup of coffee somewhere.

It's got to be a good story.

It's got to be a good story.

If you can tell a good story,

if you have a good story,

and you can tell a good story,

we may do a Q&A.

Just to change up.

So we had Matt Norlander,

who was awesome.

Joy McGuire was booked,

and then something came up.

I've got James Kelly coming up

for the after hour.

Also, one more thing to keep in mind.

I've got the ATP Monday,

always an ATP day,

where you get to ask the pros.

You close, get to ask me a question,

and it's sponsored by O'Reilly Auto Parts.

Post your question at GMRome.

You used to hashtag ask the pros on X

and B listing later on.

And I might answer your question,

or if somebody on the crew might answer your question,

think O'Reilly Auto Parts

for all of your car care needs,

get the parts the service you need fast,

from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts.

Also, I mentioned softball guy,

because Ben McComb came on last week

and admitted that he's softball guy.

I've also talked in the past about bracket guy.

You know the only thing,

and I'm going to be very careful in my choice of words.

The only thing more interesting than bracket guy

is bracket wife.

Bracket wife.

DJ has always loved the NCAA tournament.

DJ, before we had kids,

would come to the final four with me.

I can remember having dinner, DJ and I,

with some coaches and their wives.

And we had friends.

So DJ's always been about the tournament.

DJ, not only is that her favorite event, the final four.

And we would go to the final four

back in the day together before we had kids,

because Janet would come with me on the road.

We would Janet would go to regionals without me.

She'd go to games like in Anaheim,

or LA, or wherever, anything close by,

where if I was working during the day, she would go.

She'd get a friend, she would get tickets.

She loves it.

But despite all that, DJ never actually filled out a bracket.

Ever, until this year.

And for some reason, a number of her girlfriends

got it in their heads,

let's be bracket wives,

or bracket gals, or bracket people.

And so Janet did.

And she's looking to me for help.

And I'm like, all right, do this, do that.

Sweetheart, honestly though,

there are so many things online,

there's so much information,

there are so many ways you can go about this,

other than having me do it for you.

And it wouldn't be more to you if you did it yourself,

or if you got some help.

So she fills out a bracket, Janet.

And she's bracket wife.

Like, coming home after her day,

she's running around doing what she does,

and she's always asked something to do,

she's busy, but immediately going to the bracket.

Immediately going to the bracket.

And she always watches games.

Whenever the tournament goes on,

I'll come home,

and she's already like,

all right, this game is it this time,

she always knows.

But has never physically had a bracket.

And now I can't get it out of her hand,

obsessed with the bracket.

Had a busy weekend,

still taking all the games in,

but stopped checking her bracket.

Because you got to go online to see where you are

in relation to everybody else.

She hits me with this.

Guess who's in first?

And she's all about it.

All about it.

Feeling good about herself.

She's like, that's good, right?

I'm like, sweetheart, that's amazing.

That is amazing.

We know it.

You are number one.

You are a bracket wife extraordinaire.

You know what I mean?

I just kind of work it.

I don't feel like we have brackets everywhere around here.

Rather than fill out the bracket and be bracket host,

I just go right to the betting site.

And I bet the games.

But not bracket wife.

Bracket wife is all over it.

Knock on wood, bracket wife.

Way to go, DJ.

Way to represent the fam.

Way to be first out of, I think, like nine people or something.

She's got to think that I'm mocking her.

I'm not in any way.

I'm not in any way.

I'm proud of you.

I'm proud of you, bracket wife, way to go.

Janet's also been playing a lot of golf.

She's been playing golf with her friends.

Janet says, you know what'd be cool?

You know what'd be cool?

It'd be cool if on Saturday mornings,

you took a lesson and we went out together

and then we had all day together.

I said, you know what?

Sweetheart.

How about on Saturday, you go take your lesson

and then when you're done, we'll have all day together.

I go, general, how many clubs did we join over the years?

And how many dues did I pay?

And I never got around to it.

Because I never wanted to leave you and the boys

to be with the fellas to play golf

because of all the hours I was working, all these years.

But Janneau and got blessed,

I'm so happy with this.

Janneau for a long time.

Janneau is going to be really happy that I'm talking about her today.

No, she's not.

Janneau for a long time before the kids left

because her entire life has been the kids.

She was sweating it.

She was really concerned like, what am I going to do?

What am I going to do?

I'm like, I'm not worried about that at all.

She's like, I am.

I'm like, you are so involved in everything.

You will always have something to do.

I need a charity.

I need a nonprofit.

You'll have that.

You'll have that.

You'll have that.

So the kids leave.

And what she got was a nonprofit.

My business.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Good one, Vance, Mark.

Janet, Janneau is like CEO of the company.

Janet writes the checks.

Janet is running all this non-content stuff.

So she's really busy.

And she plays brackets.

And she plays golf.

And she's out with the girlfriends.

And now I've got not only bracket wife, but golf gal.

Because now Janet's like, I'm not good enough.

I'm not good enough.

And she's just beating herself up.

I'm like, sweetheart, do not do this.

These gals have a head start on you.

They play more than you.

And you're an awesome athlete.

Let's you forget.

You went to Long Beach, Paulie.

One of the absolute powerhouses nationally athletically.

You ran track at Paulie.

Remember?

You played volleyball at Paulie.

Remember?

You're fine.

I've seen you play golf.

You're always straight.

Not necessarily long and straight.

But the fact that your straight is the biggest thing.

Your drives are consistent.

You're good.

You're fine.

You're good.

You're fine.

You're awesome.

She's like, I gotta go practice.

I gotta go practice.

I'm like, fine.

Go practice.

Like, she's all about it.

All about it.

So now I've got golf wife, bracket wife, DJ.

Man, just killing the game.

Killing the game.

All right, when we come back, that's the update.

That's the Rome family update.

And Logan made it back from Spain, I think.

He hasn't reached out to me, but I'm assuming he's home.

I would know if he wasn't.

And there you go.

So no joy, McGuire, which means one of you can step up here.

If you're on hold, stay there.

If you're not on hold, get on hold.

Obviously, we can talk about anything.

I just gave you a whole update on the family.

What do you want to hit on?

You have your number.

You know where to find me on X.

You know where to find me on email.

If there's another topic you want to hit, fine.

We could talk baseball.

We could talk basketball.

Coming down to the end of the regular season in hockey.

We could talk about the robot UMPS.

Anything is fair game, NCAA tournament.

Final four, championship.

Get up in here. Hit me up.

And we'll come right back.

You're listening to the Jim Rome show.

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Clones, listen up, not all people.

Turkey's the same.

Old Trapper is original and fashion.

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All coming four ounce bags that way.

You can sample all the different flavors.

And find the best one for you.

Ask for a Trapper by name because don't have the jerky comparison.

Old Trapper, what is your beef?

1-800-636-8686.

Let's get some phone calls in.

We go to...

Man of fee.

V.

In the fee.

V. What's going on, dude?

Romy Filsten, how was your weekend, my brother?

He was great, dude.

How about you?

I mean, the arms, dude.

I'm still real in after that Yukon Duke game.

Holy crap, dude.

And look, I feel bad for that Boozard kid.

No way I'm gonna go in on him.

But I haven't seen a Boozard crash out that hard.

Since Tiger flipped his rig last Friday.

I mean, damn, Baldric.

Instead of...

I know your favorite course is intercourse.

But can we make it driver's-ed course?

I don't know.

We can get you, Tiger.

Pat my home, senior.

Mary Lou Retton.

Lamello Ball.

All getting driver's-ed from Mr. Ed.

John L-Way.

Hey, L-Way, just say how the golf cart...

It teaches you to stay on the road without slipping the rig.

I mean, goodness gracious.

What happened to that greatest golfer of all time?

Running down Jack.

Now he's only running down Jack Daniels.

Whatever pills he slipped into his bag.

But damn, Romeo.

Speaking of slow white Broncos.

Jim.

Next Friday.

You know what day it is.

Juicimus 3.

And since you're the juicimus ambassador room.

I got to ask.

Is it too early for me to put my juicimus lights up?

Or my juicimus tree up?

I mean, heck.

I already took a little bit of doing this room.

I'm going to start sending in my juicimus cards.

You know, Christmas, you want to send in our family cards.

I got my juicimus cards locked and loaded for you.

And clones, I think we should send those in as well.

Just to get the juicimus holiday rolling.

Next Friday is all about you.

Your day, Jim.

Your favorite day of the year.

Oach and Juicimus.

But man.

Back to that Duke Yukon game.

Have me feeling like Pete Gillan.

Suddenly Duke is done.

Murray's three ball.

Is wet at the Monica Winsky's Beaver.

Rack me iron.

That's not a good cup.

No.

You don't like that cup.

I don't like that cup.

Not a very good cup.

If he more than leave it to Beaver, he runs.

I think I'm going to channel John Shire and say.

No words.

No words.

Hey, Rome.

What just happened with V in the fee?

No words.

I just don't have the words.

I just don't know the words.

Certainly Duke is Duke.

Certainly Duke is Duke.

And Moonshot was wetter than Nevermind.

Damn V.

You are something else, Duke.

You are something else, V.

What a rollercoaster ride that was.

But they all are with this guy.

There is no Juicimus.

All right.

This national holiday in the jungle.

Juicimus does not exist.

There are a lot of things in my world and on my show

that do not exist.

That for some reason, y'all created and just kind of assume like,

well, if we build it, it will come.

If we build it, it will come.

If we say it exists, it must exist.

No.

Juicimus does not exist.

That is not a thing.

How can it exist without my doing?

Hey, Rome.

What do you have to do with it?

Yeah, apparently.

What does Jim Rome have to do with the Jim Rome show?

Anyway, apparently nothing if Juicimus is coming.

Hey, V, this is going to come as a shock to you.

Two things.

And I mean this.

I mean this.

Two things.

Number one, I did not know.

You're like, hey, hey.

Hey, Rome, as you know, as you well know,

Juicimus is next week.

No, I didn't.

I didn't know that.

And this will really come as a shock to you.

The reason I did not know that Juicimus was next week

is I don't even know what Juicimus is.

I actually do not know what Juicimus is.

Because I've pretty much blocked almost anything

and everything relating to the juice out of my mind.

Despite the fact that you all have been coming out

in the last quarter of a century with this nonsense.

I'll never forget some guy.

I mean this is probably 20 years ago.

Either I don't even know what it was.

Because I don't really care.

But this one just struck me for some reason

and stayed with me.

Of all the things that anybody's ever said about me

and believe me, lots of people have said lots of things about me.

But I remember one person either writing this or saying it.

It was like well before like the social media era.

Probably was a critic, a newspaper critic.

Yeah, man.

Rome's the kind of guy who thinks that OJ resets are funny.

I'm like holy crap.

Rome's the kind of guy that thinks that OJ resets are funny.

Rome's the kind of guy that's done everything in his power

to bury every OJ reset ever.

For the last 25 years.

Hypothetical.

But Rome is the kind of guy who does this show

who thinks that OJ resets are still funny.

Yeah, Rome's not that guy.

Rome is a lot of guys.

Even somebody who will talk to the third person

when something like this comes up.

But Rome's not that guy.

Nor does he know that juiciness.

Okay, there it is.

AI, add it again.

There's the fam.

There's OJ.

There's guy who looks like me.

There's Lance Edo.

There's Johnny Cochrane.

Of course, OJ is wielding a knife.

And those bloody hands are just gloves.

Nope, nope, nope.

I got gloves.

And look what we're watching on TV.

Vee.

Incredible.

Peppermint Patty and Marcy.

And Johnny Cochrane's reading, if I did it.

Vee.

Don't know what the hell you were talking about.

Pretty usual.

Do not rock that call, Alvi.

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