Today I Cringed Up | Reading Reddit Stories

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1:00Hello, welcome to Smoshread's Reddit Stories. I'm Shane Topp, and today our theme is cringe. Cringe and also people messing up. Messing up their entire day and their entire life. And I'm joined by two people who are extremely cringe. Just kidding. Only one of them is cringe. Down, down, down, down! All right, you both did it. I love Jake Paul's rapping. Tommy and Damian, thank you for joining me. Hi, hello. Thanks for having us, Shane. Big fan of the show. Thanks, Damian. Tommy, clearly you did mess up one of these recent days, because look at this. Okay, so I slipped down the stairs outside of my apartment. Okay, and my neighbor was there to hear me go, whoa, I have bags of shit, and so I threw them up in the air. It was like an ordeal, and then the, you know, of course, the ankle pop of it all. I went, oh, oh, and then from inside his apartment, he goes,

2:03whoa, you good? So that was my recent cringe experience. And then I just sat there like this. Like waiting for that like broken pain to show up. Yeah, just framed it. But he was like, do I be proof in? That doesn't work. Like, ideally. You're in shock. Yeah, you're in shock. Do you want some Tylenol? Yeah. Yeah, for our audio listeners, Tommy is in a boot. I'm in a little boot, and also a little strap. I'm a little toad, so poking at, and it's real cute. Thing, thing. You imagine a paramedic showing up and being like, oh, my God, this is so cringey, dude. Like, oh, I gotta get with these. Oh, embarrassing. Wow, hard attack at your age, f**k. Wait, wait, I gotta go picture this. Yeah, guys, I know. I know. I see it. He's right here. He's live streaming. What's up, Snapchat? Oh, man. I know the stairs boy on TikTok. Oh, God. Oh, guys, I'm using the stairs, whoa, audio. And I get trapped into the algorithm,

3:03so I have to constantly throw myself down the stairs to be successful. Yup, that's true. I know that. All right, well, should we hop into some T-Foot show? Shane, I can't hop. Please be kind to me. You get off with one leg. Yeah. Like, yeah. That was my problem when I broke my ankle. I got so good at hopping around on my left foot and my left leg. Wow. That when I went to physical therapy after they're like, we have to train your right leg to match your left leg. Wow. Your left leg is like so f**king strong and cool. They just taught you how to hop again. It just was like I need to hop around on my right leg now for a few days. I thought this was what you did. Yeah. Shit, we trained you wrong. Yeah. So cringe. I know. It is pretty cringy, but I love it. Anyways. I accidentally glanced at the title of this first story before we started rolling and it made me laugh. It could glance bass over here. That was awesome. I'm more of a glance arm strong, but yeah. Dude, sick. Yeah. Thanks.

4:04Thanks. All right. Okay. This is from a today I f**ked up. Posted a couple years ago. Today I f**ked up by walking in on my parents passionately f**king. Oh. Good for them. Good for them. Well, lots, you know, at least there's still passionate with these things. Something about the passionately makes me laugh so hard. Oh, Diane. It just can only... Ken. There is, you know, there is someone godly noises there. Oh, okay. Okay. Title says it mostly. I accidentally walked in on my dad going down on my mom. This just happened like 15 minutes ago. I was playing Fallout 4 cringe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm kidding. I'm just shot Emily with that. I know. I really like Fallout 4. I did see a TikTok yesterday where someone was like,

5:04I've had jobs more entertaining than Fallout 4. Oh, god. I was like, Jesus. I enjoy it. I didn't play the other ones first. I started with that and then went back to the other ones. So like, I did nothing compared to it. I liked it. I enjoy it. Yeah. All right. Anyways, moving back. I went... So this guy was playing Fallout 4 for several hours and I had no clue where my parents were. Keep in mind that I also have a hearing deficit and I was not wearing my hearing aids at the time. On top of that, it is currently very late where I live so I figured my parents were in better something. Wow. After playing Fallout 4 for several hours, I go into the hallway and I see a small amount of light coming from the game room. I thought that maybe someone left the TV on and I went to turn it off. I opened the door and low and behold. My father's head is in between my mom's legs like six feet away from me. I just shut the door and ran downstairs and outside. I became a little concerned about what would happen next. My father came outside and I asked,

6:04how are you? And he said, fine, but next time knock. I explained that not only had I been unaware of where they were but it was also late and I thought maybe they were in bed. I also mentioned that I was not wearing my hearing aids and could not hear behind the door very well. I also added on top of all of that, I saw a light coming from the game room and thought maybe someone left the TV on and intended to turn it off. I also apologized and said that I just made an honest mistake. My father said everything was fine and I had absolutely nothing to worry about. He just said that Fridays and Saturdays are the only two days that he has time to spend with my mom so I should be more vigilant about opening a door on those days. Dad's got a dope schedule. Oh my god. There's something so crazy about like, sorry, like Fridays and Saturdays. We get that in. That part fucks me up. Like being like, hey, it happens like no worries but to like plant the seed of like and by the way,

7:04anytime you don't see us on a Friday or Saturday. You know what's happening. We're entering the vault. So they're in a common space, right? The game room? They're in the game room. Yeah, that's fucked up to me. Yeah, like if they're in their bedroom, I'm like, yeah, but if you're in the space with other people and you're gonna go to a room that isn't typically for, yeah, then I also, and you didn't shut the door fully. He said the door. That's like a big light. So maybe it's like coming in the under the door. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what happens every time she happens to. Like, it's like lock the door but maybe that's a room that doesn't, the door doesn't lock. No, you would have to lock a game room for Juman. Like were they on a pool table or what's going on? Yeah. Who's ball? Describe it. He's going eye. No, they're also playing Fallout 4 in the game room. He's like, I'm going to join the brotherhood of Steel. Like, you sure not the minute man?

8:04I'm not a minute man. I don't know. It's, oh. That's, I feel like parents are usually more, like secretive and shameful about that. Where it's like, we got to lock it up and make sure the kids aren't here. I'm assuming this is an adult kid of the parents. Yeah, I mean, he's got, like, yeah, somewhere over the age of 15 is what I'm picturing. Well, so potentially still like a kid. But could be a teenager, could be, could be in his early 20s. I don't know, but like, because I think it's old enough that the dad was like, hey, can you knock next time? That's the thing, because I feel like if it was still like a teenager, it'd be like, oh, you have a kid at home. Whereas if it's like, yeah, I'm 24 and I live with my parents, which is fine. It's more like a roommate situation in which case, it's just like, hey, bud, knock. Like, hey, bud, put a sock on the door. Right. You and my nerd doing, yeah. Growing up wrestling. Oh, like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Brutal. I'd walked in on my parents before. It was a huge bummer, yeah. Well, I didn't know. It's just so brave of you to just stay right now.

9:04I don't think I was old enough to know exactly what was up until I sort of like, looks back. I was like, oh, but it was just this moment where I'm like, yeah, I think mom and dad are taking a nap. I need to get something from like their room. And I open up the door and I just see like a flailing of covers. And it's like, knock first. And I'm like, wow, okay. Great. Well, that's it. I guess I'll go away now. And you were like, I'm five. No, I think I was like a 20 young. Yeah, 20. It's like 28. I would be five. 25. Yeah, no, I was absolutely like, I don't know, 12. I don't know. Yeah, sure. Uh, I was very lucky. I'd never, never occurred. That's awesome. Never occurred. I don't even think that was happening in my house. I was like, well, you came into somewhere, but I was straight free from that. No, no, you came from somewhere. No, I didn't. I'm in your imagination. Oh, nice. Oh, damn it. Go it up one day. They're like, I guess, I guess walking into my parents had a bigger effect than I thought. I imagine Tommy. Yeah, if they stop wrestling the sheets, I popped out.

10:05Oh, my God. Some comments here. Someone said, dad is the real gamer here. He fucked O.P.s pop. I think that's the best comment I've ever had. That's damn. I think that's the best comment I've ever heard. That guy finished typing and he had to like, cool as keyboard down. He was like, woo-hoo. Someone said, this is the best possible scenario. All of you handled it in the most mature and rational way possible. No harm, no foul. Shit happens. Every time I read a post where people cry and moan about being traumatized or feeling nauseated after such an event, I just shake my head. O.P. said, thank you for the reassurance, internet stranger. Oddly enough, I don't really feel grossed out, scarred or anything like that. I just feel awkward. I think the reason why I feel that way is because my parents never made sex an off-limit subject, unlike other households. My parents are not Puritans. I'll say that much. Well, clearly. Yeah, yeah, we get the idea.

11:06Lastly, I think his mom's a quaker. Nice. Took me a second. He bloodhumbed. I got smart joke. I got the double-up fondre there. Thanks. Lastly, someone put in quotations. Gee, was, dad. Hang a sock already. Would ya? Yeah. Did you just comment that just a moment ago? Oh, God. Did you just get off the theater? Yeah, I did. Sorry. I know we're not supposed to have phones on set, but... Do you think in the moment of shock when he opened the door, he went into vats? Dude, dude. Mom's a good game. She's 90 percent. Look. God. Oh, God. Oh, man. I think the most awkward conversation I had with my parents was coming out, so... I mean, it wasn't like... Sorry, that was the last month's reddit thing. So... Oh, I want some hot, not episodes. So I'm making up for lost time. I'm making up for lost time. Okay, Tommy, how was that?

12:11I don't know. That was hard for you. Yeah. Okay. So good. All right. These people... I feel like everything you've described of your parents, they're just very nonchalant, kind of stressed, but nonchalant. They're not going to tell them the most insane thing, and then there's like... Okay. All right. Exactly that. Yeah, they're in their chairs. Great. Just did a recliner. Not literally. You're apparently... Every time you describe them, they're permanently in recliners. Lazy boys. Like, yeah. Yeah. They're coffee. They're coffee, and they're like, I can't wait for this shit. I put them on the freezer recently because they got bored with Big Bang Theory. They've watched the whole show through multiple times, and I want you guys simply half to change what you're watching. Yeah. Oh my God. Just to diversify your day to day. They keep texting us about giles. They love giles. Just cycles. That one was for just me. Oh my God. This episode of Red Stories is sponsored by Quince. As a person in society, we've got to wear clothes,

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14:17Back to the show. I respect the O.P. for being mature about it. It's the same thing where it's like, yeah, people do that. That's great. You can be mature about it. It doesn't have to be crazy and weird and uncomfortable. But it is, you know, as a topic, probably nobody's favorite. Yeah. Yeah. Fair. Want them to be in the bedroom. McDonald's is putting value back on the menu. Whether you're craving a big Mac, McNuggets are sausage egg and cheese, McGrittle's, make it a meal and save. Your favorite is now your wallet's favorite too. Extra value meals are back. Get a big something extra. With a big Mac or 10-piece McNuggets, fries and a medium Coke, all for just $9. Limited time only, promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Toyota's easy choice sales event is on. Whether you're looking for the performance of a camera, the versatility of a RAV4, the efficiency of a Corolla, or all electric driving in the BZ.

15:17There's a Toyota that's just right for you. And with great deals across the lineup, now's the time to find yours. But hurry, these deals won't last long. Toyota's easy choice sales event ends soon. We make it easy. Toyota, let's go places. Yeah, it's like, hey man. That's all I ask. Now when he goes to the game room, it's like, all right. Yeah, it's gonna cover up that spot on the sofa. Yeah, I'm just gonna sit on the ground. Oh my gosh. No, I'm sorry. I don't mean literal spot. God, I just mean the location I wouldn't sit there and not remember. That's like, oh yeah, this is... Right. I apologize, that was my fault. I should get to stained territory. That's okay. Let's move on to our second story. This also comes from today. I fucked up. Today I fucked up by taking my significant other to bedbath and beyond after anesthesia. I am helly obsessed with that. Let's go. They were there in the beyond.

16:17She's the beyond, yeah. They're there to be on. She found the remote from click. Honey, that soap is not for eating. Not for eating. Okay. This is a story we always tell at dinner parties. I feel like I owe him that. So I figure I might as well share it here. So this was around the time the good place was airing. My partner had abdominal surgery. I've personally never experienced anesthesia first or second hand and was nervous enough about my significant other going under. After discharge, the nurse told me amongst a million other things to take him straight home. However, my partner sounded super lucid and went on about wanting to get bathroom organizing stuff at bedbath now that he's done with the surgery. It made enough sense that I agreed. I left him in the organizer section while I was looking for an associate to help with a high up item. Maybe five to ten minutes later, several employees were jogging to that section and I get there and my partner was basically loudly yelling at people in a completely out of character way. Like, I've never seen him yell or be violent, but he was trying to yank off one of the employees' hair.

17:19Later on, he tells me that his first memory after the OR was waking up in bedbath and beyond. And he thought this was hell and the store employees were devils just like the good place. He has zero memory of him convincing me he's fine and wants to go to bedbath. Or what happened with the employees. For what it's worth, we are still together and now both laugh at this story, but at the time, it caused quite a bit of drama, both because he felt I dropped the ball and most people think I'm horribly irresponsible. I also felt sort of uneasy for a bit processing if my partner might hurt me in a lucid dream, but luckily he's been his sweet usual self. Next time he has surgery, he's getting locked in his room for a week. Edit, thankfully nobody got in trouble and the employee wasn't hurt. I had his discharge packet in my pocket and mall security and the employee were sympathetic to me profusely apologizing. Edit number two, just to answer some common replies and mass. It was a small hernia repair and I saw maybe a one inch tiny incision. I had been worried sick leading up to it and everyone told me this is a super minor procedure which admittedly let my guard down too much.

18:21The nurse gave a bunch of discharge instructions mostly about wound care and medication. The one sentence about going home didn't really register in my mind until later. Wanting to redecorate slash reorganize was very on brand for him so knowing nothing else it wasn't a red flag. I was mindful not to let him lift anything but the fact that he was still drug impaired didn't cross my mind at the time. I'm not trying to make excuses but it was genuinely a mind-fuck to my young self that my SO talking to me lucidly about something he wanted to do is something I should ignore. Of course now I know what anesthesia is and what I did wrong. That was like that was a little less fun than she teed it up to be. Yeah. They teed it up to be. Yeah. It's like I'm glad they're all good now. Yeah. But it's like oh my god. We tell this all the time. So he assaulted an employee in sort of a drugged out stupor. A nearly killed lady it was very funny. He thought he was the dead. He was so like ripped off the hair.

19:22So for a brief moment he was in hell. Yeah he believed it. He believed he was in hell. Granted if I was sitting on this couch with you guys and then I blinked and I was in a bedbath and beyond, I'm in hell. That's fair. I'm in hell for sure. Yeah yeah yeah. You know I think truly the worst part of this is they called it bedbath like five times. Right. That actually felt like a knife each time. I it was hard to read. Yeah. I kept getting tripped out of the bedbath. How often do you go that you're like we don't have time to finish this sentence. Yeah. Do you guys want to go to Barneson? You're like you're insane. You want to go to Crate? Pure? Pure? Michael. Yeah look I get it if they had never experienced anesthesia before but I feel like you know it's something everyone has blind spots but I'm like growing up it was like you knew like when you get anesthesia it's like yeah they are in a crazy state even if they see

20:23you know normally you got to go straight home. Yeah. So I feel like everyone at this point in life has seen like the after you know like after getting your wisdom. Yeah where they're like you know being like in a car because they're so drugged up. Yeah. I'm like they really missed that info. They really missed that video because like two billion people watch Charlie bit my finger. They had to have watched it. Or David after dentist. David after dentist. Yeah. No yeah Charlie did have my fingers different. That's children. That's just children. That's just children. Yeah adults don't get fucked up by that stuff. I will say in their defense there's like after a surgery if someone was like yeah actually feel great like let's go home and we stop and get some Burger King on the way like I might feel a little bit more like okay yeah we can stop and get Burger King. Yeah. Bed bath and beyond is a kind of crazy place to go but I don't know I took care of a friend after their surgery like I say a couple years ago and the doctor was very clear like we had a whole game plan of like I'm like I'm gonna get her in my car like I have a playlist to help keep

21:26everything calm and relaxed and fun and then we're gonna get in the in the apartment and there's gonna be specific things we have to do for a while I'm gonna take care of you for a few hours your roommate's gonna take over like but it was very specific so I'm a little surprised that this kind of didn't have the same thing. She did keep giving me gifts which is nice she's like I got you this watch and it was like a little game boy watching like that's so cute she's like I have the same I got for me so we can match I'm like that's adorable she's like actually you should have both I want you to have both and I'm like okay for sure I'm like yeah take my bed I'm not nice pillow I took care of someone after like just for like a day after they had a surgery and they seem completely normal yeah and then it but it was like hours later that they're like I'm just now waking up oh shit like you weren't you weren't here with us here with us even though you seem completely normal anesthesia does creep me out like it's it's a creepy thing that's like yeah you can completely not

22:28remember like because you're not asleep you're just gone and then you come back but then you're not back yeah then you come back yeah it's like I love being reminded that we're electrical signals and wet bags yeah you know it's like oh thanks for that reminder anesthesia very cool very cool it's trippy I've not had like serious anesthesia in a long time same just go on it but yeah I'm relatively resistant to it they say it's that way for like a lot of redheads so I guess maybe I have that gene I don't know because I don't I don't have I mean you need more anesthesia right I need more anesthesia yeah so like so interesting I just was listening to a podcast last night about this really yeah synchronicity electricity wet bags continue like when I got my wisdom teeth out they were like you know count backwards from whatever and I like did pretty well and they were like oh and I even remember like when my vision started to go and I'd see like visions that the anesthesia was

23:32making me have I was like talking about it I'm just like oh yeah I'm still awake but I do see like planets and all that good shit and they're like oh but I think when I wake up from the few surgeries I've had I've been pretty like yep I'm awake like I remember waking up and feeling sick and be like hey can I get some apple juice and so maybe that's when I had my wisdom teeth pulled I remembered waking up oh yeah like they got me though I was pissed because I kind of wanted to see how long I could last yeah and I was ready for them to do the like countdown from 10 or something like yeah but instead they hit me with the most boring conversation possible oh where they where he's talking he's and he's like he's clearly done this a million times and he this was out in LA and I'm like I'm like 16 or 17 and he's talking and I'm getting ready for like like okay they're they're gonna hit me with that countdown from 10 and I'm like I'm gonna be focused and he's like so you're into acting and stuff he's like so do you have like an agent or anything and I was like oh yeah I mean I haven't and I was like oh you didn't need him yeah oh wait wait and I didn't really just woke up and I was like fuck

24:34um comments here someone said bed and bath was probably fine but you really should have stayed away from the beyond yes yes you did it yes we need that commenter from the first story to come back in yeah I want I want smoke oh oh oh he said honestly for me shopping for bathroom organizing hardware basically is eternal suffering however misguided I genuinely was trying to be a good boyfriend someone said once after a procedure I convinced my driver I was fine made her take me on a shopping spree and then gave a bunch of my unopened mail to my dog who loved to tear up paper she told me I was showing off his trick woke up to a bunch of shit I didn't remember buying an shredded mail everywhere good times pets actually awesome because you don't have to pay those if they if you if you rip them up I don't yeah show the IRS that they're ripped up oh what um lastly someone said my wife drove by a spirit Halloween and I was very upset she wouldn't let me go in and that's all I remember for most of the day

25:37dude if I imagine waking up in literal hell if if I blinked and woke up in a spirit Halloween I would be confused but I'd be kind of stoked yeah I'd be like wow this is pricier than I want to spend but Halloween it's not really my story to tell but my friend loves to tell the story for some reason he woke up from anesthesia and was so like dry in the mouth and he asked for water and they wouldn't give it to him and so his mom was there I guess because you know some about the surgery or whatever and so he like looked over to his mom and went spit in my mouth oh my god and my friend Cody whips this story out all the time wow that's crazy I mean you have to own it in my mouth you can't let that just be something that hangs the back your head you have to be like I'm putting it out there I don't deal with oh my god she's him craps this episode of red stories is sponsored by hungry

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27:42our next story is also a fuck up oh go today I fucked up by not realizing I've been positioning my stuffed animal wrong for 23 years anyone managing cash flow nose growth is expensive and flexibility the American Express corporate program helps businesses manage spending and payment timing to support healthier working capital chat with a member of our team to find the card program that's best for your needs learn more at american express dot com slash corporate turns applying McDonald's is putting value back on the menu whether you're craving a big mac McNuggets or sausage egg and cheese McGrittle's make it a meal and save your favorite is now your wallets favorite two extra value meals are back Sun rises prices fall get a sausage Mcmuffin with egg or sausage egg and cheese McGrittle's small hot coffee and hash frowns for just six

28:42stars price and participation may vary promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing uh lean in it's forward open in the butt yeah yeah do that's that position fuck up okay Teddy Ruxman supposed to have a tape and it's telling not a CD yeah idiot I've had a stuffed animal collection since I was born one of the oldest additions was a black animal that for the longest time I didn't know what it was supposed to be it sits on my top shelf with all my other plushies this stuffed animal had a peanut shaped body with a slightly flat head stubby black legs long red ears that I briefly thought were extra arms sonic like eyes with the mouth right beneath them a red dot on its forehead a press me button on its belly that sang a song if you pressed it and what perplexed me the most for my whole life a little red stub in its crotch area that I thought was its weiner okay the little red dot is going to be its mouth so it's upside down here okay so it's got things coming out of it's I think that what if I was the legs is going to be ears because they're like oh the mouth is like right below it it's like no it's going to be sonic

29:44eyes and the little dot is going to be whoop instead of the the beep is the stubby legs that come out of the bottom is there your um jowls got it I always sat it up on its hind legs so it looks like all my other stuffed animals facing forward yet I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was supposed to be until last night he looks the cat I was face timing a friend and I picked up the little black stuffy to show him and while doing so I was going over it again when I suddenly realized I was positioning it wrong this whole time I laid the stuffed animal flat and looked at it correctly for the first time in 23 years the belly side with the press me button was actually its backside and the weiner was its tail the mouth below the eyes was just some eyelids and the red dot on its forehead was its nose oh fuck it was a dog this whole time I finally learned after going my whole life not knowing what this animal actually is and I feel so dumb for not realizing it's sooner my friend and I laughed about it for a good second and my parents tease me a bit for not

30:46realizing what they already knew my dumb ass went 23 years thinking I had some weird furry bug slash alien creature as a stuffed animal only to realize now that it was just a dog it's so innocuous but I had to get it off my chest because I feel like a happy little idiot for only knowing this just now and it this is what he looks like okay so it's it's definitely weird looking yeah that okay let me get a look at this so this is a top-down view I guess yeah the little the little white spot on the back is definitely throws it off a little bit yeah I think the issue is they've put like a little tough to read above the eyeballs which could be like an eyebrow or something but it just doesn't really make sense that little bit I mean I don't to be fair I think I would uh know pretty quickly that's a dog but at the same time like I do see what they're doing well you know a classic dog with red ears and red tail red nose and one weird red eyebrow there's a fucking massive red one I'm gonna tell you about and then you're gonna feel really silly

31:49wait does a little girl own him can you really own a massive red dog there you go nice I'm like first I'm reason I was imagining like the dad calling the mom being like he figured it out it took 23 years I thought it was bad walking in on your parents going to town on each other this is this is this is big fuck your one is wrong with you how could you do this I bet your friend hung up that face timing told everyone I think the press me being on its back is confusing well it's a white circle yeah it's back which doesn't really belong anyway I I could be a belly button that's it because mine's on my butt right yeah mine's in my butt I don't think happened like this recent not recently god why not say recently I was like 10 years old right I mean you know time is relative yeah the only time now is party time let's talk about let's go um I went over to a friend's house uh when I was a kid and his family had moved from I

32:50think Kentucky but somewhere they had like a local soda and it was spelled A-L-E-8-1 and it was ginger ale and so they're like yeah it's like let's get him an AL81 like an AL81 yeah let's get him one and the odds the best thing you're gonna love it and I look at it and I was like oh wait this has caffeine oh it's ginger ale with caffeine it's called ale eight one it's gonna be a late one because you're drinking caffeine with ginger ale it's a late one not AL81 and they were like oh and the whole family was just like what the fuck is so yeah that's wow I would never put that together well you didn't know that was a dog then I guess yeah I guess not but I think we all could have those moments of like I didn't know Lord Farquad was supposed to be a joke about fuck god yeah no there's lots of things that don't hit me until way later yeah sometimes it's a dog that's it's a lot of because I like learned so many words from reading like learning how to pronounce most words what I'm up like oh no I don't know why well I learned a lot of words

33:54from reading you know I'm not of time you only find the reading shit and all the comments are like the fuck is wrong with Shane oh you're how he said that I'm just kidding they're they're not I mean but but like yeah I say I say things how they look and then I'm like oh I'm learning that now is there a good way to call someone out on that because it's I don't know I never like we've all learned words by reading and haven't pronounced it properly before but whenever I'm like oh it's actually pronounced this like I never know I think I'm about to sound like an asshole and maybe I do but yeah you're fine I called Hermione Hermi one I did Hermione I was Hermione Hermi too come in Hermi once Hermi twice you get splinched what was the word that Ariana Grande is she'd like did a really good impersonation she's like wrong's been splenched yeah I don't know yeah some comments here

34:55someone said you thought I was just hanging dong this whole time oh he said I shit you not I went my whole childhood thinking it was hanging dong and never questioning it I wish I was kidding someone said I can hang dog that's awesome dude thank you miss can I throw them yeah granted it is red and it is a dog that's true yeah so rock rock it rock it lounge shirt someone said I can see how this mistake was made it was weird but plausible someone replied saying it's the red part above the eyes resembling a nose and once that impression got into OPs head it never left so every other oddity was just hand-waved away sure someone said I can empathize I used to think the old USPS Eagle symbol was some sort of sideways Nike swoosh slash cartoony silhouette of a person wearing the US postal service hat on which it was printed my dad worked for the post office so I saw the symbol every single day growing up it was not until I was in my 20s that I saw the Eagles had sticking out of the side wow yeah let's like the D in Disney being like a backwards G I still see it as a backwards G forever yeah sometimes when

35:58you see something you can't unsee it the big like dude it looks like a backwards G it does look like it does it look like a D it looks like a weird thing it's just a big old Disney after it yeah yeah yeah yeah Disney Disney Disney Channel non-suable Disney Channel um this I don't know what this is not really that related but it reminds me of forever goes at an airport this is forever ago because they used to have TCB wise in yeah airports which was frozen frozen yogurt place and I was in line once it's truly just like the menchies of that time got it right and uh yeah cuz they're not around anymore but I'm in line and you see them everywhere but nobody knows what TCB wise stands for and they kayak bucked up yep but I'm I'm like 12 and I'm in line and there's a guy in front of me and he's ordering and he kind of

36:58goes like what does TCB wise stand for and I shit you not the employees just goes I don't know and then someone else goes it's the county's best yogurt and genuinely everyone would we all why even me 12 was like we're all like really like oh yeah you're going out of business yeah yeah yeah you you need to go it was better than that I'm I'm so glad I know that though do I know thank you for that watch me find out watch someone comment and be like that's actually incorrect the country's best the country's best yogurt so how so watch Emily comment and you fucked that up yeah it's still the country's best yogurt it was still kind of like okay like but if you go to Ethiopia all bets are off they got a way better than we said any other country but this is the best you're gonna get here the country's best yogurt is the new name oh it really started off as this can't be yogurt and then it turned into the

38:01country's best yogurt so they did an iHOP international house of burgers thing like right but they didn't change the the letters so it's always changed the real what it was always tcv why but they change the meaning of it why was the 90s like incredulous when it came to foods like everything was just like I didn't know this is fucking butter and like yeah this is instant coffee this is does your know like just own the food you make I know it's yogurt and it's good this can't be yogurt this this can't this actually can't be the lies have to stop Diane it's not even I can't believe it's not butter it's just a different incredulous yogurt brands I love this shit I love the yogurt wars of the 90s by the way for me hot take frozen yogurt that's ice cream I don't give a fuck I like the same experience look like frozen yogurt it's different I'm like that's same experience it goes in my mouth and I like it it's the same you would love the first story

39:07on the first dad dude he's happy like same that yeah I can't believe I can't believe this is your mom oh man wow that's wild okay what were we talking about even oh yeah I forget some stupid dog joy some kind of frozen yogurt yeah I like frozen yogurt it's good next topic next topic next story go our next story our next story comes from today I fucked up today I fucked up by not knowing what a durian fruit is and nearly getting my work evacuated so I work at a library and one of the programs I know no sorry no toriously probably not supposed to eat there already

40:07because there's like no other senses happening yeah there's no sound you know I tell like he's like oh I work at a sperm bank it's like you're fine Jesus Christ what is there's a lot to unpack either you need to go to a doctor or you know what a durian smells like what is the one thing there is a fruit that smells like it's the it's the um it's the Bartlett pair trees the Bartlett pair smells like there's some yeah I thought there was one we had the big gigantic fruit ones on a show no it's it smells like sperm a little bit and then you eat it and it smells like if gasoline was custard oh that's my take on it I haven't had durian and I really want to try it sorry I didn't know it smelled like sperm a little bit continue I we've had a lot of fucked up fruits here at Smosh and so I don't know which one I'm thinking of but it was a big spiky one I believe yeah that's a durian okay okay there you go but that was also what I sense totally fine I apologize I did not know that that was I also was I think I've seen that if it tastes like

41:10gasoline it's it's it's over ripe and so I we didn't get a fresh one apparently got it so I work at a library and one of the programs I run is my D&D program for kids I have a really awesome group that comes in consistently and we are nearing the end of an almost two-year campaign sometimes my players will bring me snacks think twinkies or fruit snacks and the like one of my players hands me a silver package and tells me it's a durian fruit pastry in response I say oh thanks so much what's a durian fruit at that moment I've already torn into the package and I am hit with a wave of the most sulfuric horrid smell think of rotten eggs and gas it immediately fills the room my player begins to tell me that it's a fruit with a really pungent smell and is a delicacy in Asian countries this kid is like 10 by the way loves fun facts he's a great kid but I think he underestimated how bad this would smell I politely thank him for the food but inform him that for the sake of not passing out in our meeting room that I'm going to put it in our break room I take a moment to leave and proceed to place it in our freezer because I thought that the scent wouldn't

42:14carry if it was concealed I'll start with the good news the game went great the scent persisted a bit in our meeting room but not for long they survived an encounter with a horrible amalgamation of flesh and bone and are continuing up the tower toward the final boss now the bad news the game ends and I'm saying goodbye to our kids when I see my coworker s carrying coats and jackets out of the break room I ask her what's going on and she pulls me aside outside of earshot of patrons and says there's a heavy gas smell in the break room we think a pipe has burst as she says this my heart plummets into my stomach because I can hear sirens in utter horror I turn and see a fire truck rounding the corner out our windows oh no oh no no no no no s no hold on I run in the back and there's already someone from our safety office holding a gas meter gas sensor something to look for gas anyway a gasometer gas on anyway he is talking to my manager who is relatively new and looks like he's about to have a panic attack I rush past him whip open the fridge pick up the

43:17pastry and say is this what you're smelling as I hold the cracker like pastry thing outstretched they don't get half a sniff in before going what the hell is that I don't even reply because now my worst fear is confirmed and instead I rush to the library ask s to smell it one more time just to be sure she does and then looks at me like are you serious op before doubling over laughing I ran out the door and placed the devil pastry in our outside trash can and came back inside where two firemen had already arrived full gear and everything one of them had a freaking axe I embarrassingly explained to them the situation and thankfully we all have a bit of a laugh over it while I proceed to turn a shade of red that sunsets wish they could be they actually made me feel pretty good about the whole thing one of them even said that this isn't the first time they've had to be called out for a durian fruit I guess this happens more than usual so this is ridiculous yeah so silly in their defense if I smelled what was clearly gasoline I don't think my first thought would be like let's check for durians like let's make sure you're not going to think that yeah

44:20I feel like you have to have a whole durian for this kind of smell to be I know I'm like a pastry that you got some bread around there yeah yeah I think it's been cooked you'd think that some of it would yeah maybe I guess it gets worse I think don't a lot of people because I really want to try it don't people often eat it with gloves but I I've never I think it's the only case that I can think of of something that smells horrible but tastes good yeah like that's kind of rare right because unless it's like those are those senses are so connected that you'd think I think like a really gnarly cheese can smell just straight up awful but be delicious but I also think that like at least in the US for a lot of people were accustomed to that kind of combo yeah okay this is going to be a little rank but it's good yeah whereas I think durian for folks in for me it would be just like a brand new experience right but I still want to try it damn um I like that the one firefighter had an axe just like you just had that ready it's like oh pipe bursts like well I'm gonna break it yeah yeah yeah it's okay what if he just hates books oh shit okay it's my opportunity

45:27to chop some where are we going it's that's the firemen in Fahrenheit 451 literally it's what the firemen do and though they hey books yeah comments how is the pay street never got to try it I was immediately hit with a wave of nausea and was going to eat later but well the fire department came lol someone said I used to work for a gelato company that made our ice cream in house the trainer was telling us how one store got their whole strip mall section closed for a potential gas leak when they made durian gelato ones someone said there's a reason why a lot of Asian countries have no durian signs and malls airports buses train stations etc etc small update oh oh he said hey everyone so it's been a second I just want to let you guys know over my birthday my co-worker surprised me with a full durian fruit I tried it cutting it up outside so my fiance didn't kill me and it was pretty good a warning though to those with acid reflux your burps will smell like durian fruit for a while and may give you headaches like they did me lol oh no till I highly recommend you go out and

46:32try something new today thanks hey love that okay that's that's great headaches yeah what what like it's like a really highly recommend this it ruined me for a few days and I my head hurts I'm sensitive to light now but durian rates so good change me forever I woke up in hell yeah but try to rip their hair off um that is the thing too if you pull the devil's hair off they have to go back to normal they have to go back to normal have to put you in heaven now sorry I got you I'm glad they I'm glad they ended up trying it yeah because I don't want to I don't want to like put down other cultures like yeah and like that poor kid brought it being so excited to like to like share it yeah but he's the asshole it's so funny how much stuff that we've tried here it's mosh over the past like years the durian fruit doesn't like stand out in my mind as much like I was like I remember that smelling weird but I'm like that wasn't anything crazy because we've had sir strumming and that sounds rough for those of you don't know it is a fermented

47:34fish from I think it's from like Finland or something or Iceland like it's it's a delicacy somewhere yeah and it's fermented forever and uh we did a show forever ago where Noah had to have some and he we opened it up outside and I helped them open it up open up this can and some of the juices got on my hand and I genuinely washed my hands dozens of times that day and it would not come off and it smelled like I had gone to a public bathroom and just got my hands everywhere yeah absolutely were sifting for gold truly just like do it all it was unbelievable you know what now that you mentioned it I ordered this is going back to you're like what's smelly but tastes good I ordered from a restaurant recently um it was a Chinese restaurant and it was I got fried rice but it was under one of the specialties it was fried rice with salty fish and egg and I was like that sounds great I love salted fish this is awesome and I like took a few bites and

48:39I'm like this is absolutely astounding it was absolutely delicious and then I went in for another bite and I got hit with what I assume would be like kind of a corpse smell it was extremely pungent and like I'm very adventurous I but I can appreciate most foods even if it's not adventurous I like but this smell like through me against the dam wall it was insane and I looked down at it and I'm like it was a part of the fish so I think salty fish I don't know what was the intent but I think it was something that was fermented and preserved like this are strumming situation and it was tasty but it was like a whole yeah really had to brace myself for the rest of it I always think it's really cool when something like is like my taste buds or my sense of smell finds it disgusting but someone else thinks it's delicious I think that's absolutely fascinating yeah but yeah that's why we're eating or eating it coming back for 200 more episodes yeah we're gonna do it right now why not we have new ideas this episode of Reddit stories is sponsored by

49:39audible I truly hate doing the dishes it's probably the worst chore to ever exist and when I cook a big meal the cleanup feels like it will take forever but now that I use audible I actually look forward to doing the dishes it sounds crazy but I mean it I put on my favorite audio books and get fully immersed in the story before I know it I blink and I have a spotless kitchen and I learned something new audible offers a variety of titles so I can jump between science fiction and fantasy to biographies and memoirs maybe you're looking for something that'll make you laugh like Reddit stories they have an entire comedy and humor section currently I'm listening to the Butchers Masquerade book five of the Dungeon Crawler Carl series I was reading the books physically but so many my friends told me to listen to the audio books that I actually switched over and man they are so entertaining and I love Stephen Fry's Troy because Stephen Fry narrates the book I've actually listened to mythos heroes Troy and I'll be listening to Odyssey next there's something special about Stephen Fry narrating his own work new members can start listening with a 30 day

50:40free trial at audible.com slash SRRS audible stories that speak to you back to the show our next story today I fucked up by swallowing a brown recluse being sent to the ER and almost dying McDonald's is putting value back on the menu whether you're craving a Big Mac McNuggets or sausage egg and cheese McGrittle's make it a meal and save your favorite is now your wallets favorite two extra value meals are back get a big something extra with a Big Mac or 10 piece McNuggets fries and a medium coke all for just nine dollars limited time only promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing kitchen and bathroom professionals know what goes behind the tile matters that's why trade pros trust fiber cement party backer board to keep tile firmly in place resist cracking and held block moisture chosen over 40 million kitchens and bathrooms party backer board what the

51:45best build on shop now at participating home depot lows and floor into core stores for more information visit James Hardy dot com slash Hardy backer so that's a delicacy actually yeah yeah you're supposed to do that in your sleep right yeah well no it's an average of like you know everybody's so I have hundreds when I sleep ditches balance it out for oh yeah yeah so yeah oh that's that's probably a none oh yeah you're probably right OP writes this happened a couple weeks ago and I'm pretty much recovered now but I guess I wanted to share as a warning in case anyone else ever experiences this don't don't drink a brown recluse yeah I don't need spiders um this so to make a long story very short I keep watered by my bed in a glass in case I get thirsty at night a brown recluse had fallen in right around the time I woke up and needed a drink I swallowed the thing and of course immediately realized I had swallowed something and my only assumption was a spider and I knew we had a few brown recluses in the house so I automatically assumed that's what

52:45it was I ended up being right in the worst way well I know we got a couple of those around and uh yeah I was gonna get to them next week you deal with that later weird I've just got a few loaded guns pointed right at the time crazy that one went off now I knew from past anxiety googling that swallowing a dead spider is nothing to worry about the venom is protein-based and breaks down in the digestive tract I had assumed that I had swallowed a dead one and just decided to try to go back to sleep after a mini panic attack and more frantic googling I woke up maybe two hours later with horrible pain in my stomach muscle aches and hard spasms heat flashes sweating and drooling profusely I stumbled to find my partner we sleep in separate rooms and was rushed to the ER their partner sleeps in the non spider room kind of doing an experiment yeah one of them is a clean yeah the other one has a bunch of spiders seeing who sleeps better so what happened well the original

53:47assumption was that it bit me on my esophagus but after lots of tests it turns out I had a stomach ulcer that I didn't know about that's another long story and the spider had very much been alive and the venom had found its way into my bloodstream through the open wound in my stomach after a fuck ton of antibiotics and other drugs in a week long hospital stay I'm mostly back to normal and I'm feeling mostly okay I still feel achy and have a lot of paranoia about my drinks now I won't be drinking water in the middle of the night anymore that's for sure I just wanted to tell this story just in case anyone else has watered by their bed at night and to just go to the ER if you think you swallowed something just please be careful okay yeah buddy I'll make sure not to do that he's like spider man if his power was tummy aches yeah I will say okay what I do relate to him is that I I have a water bottle next to my bed but I don't like having like an open container of water yeah nothing's ever happened but I'm just like you also have cats yeah I just imagine like

54:51tough and swag and binds me like like I just I don't want that yeah fuck you uh he does he does piggy dip ins in his fountain I don't want him to do it tomorrow yeah right I'm a bed thrasher so the amount of cups I've knocked off by like chucking a pill like it's not like I'm like waking up and going yeah but like I'll wake up and my pillows are all over the and then there's a couple of water like on a pillow only the full moon though yeah only on the full moon very very very night yeah I guess that's true but also when you have cats you don't have to worry about brown or clues is quite as much so I feel like it'd be rare to be hard for them to get all the way to there because some people say like oh cats are like immune to some things but I'm like I don't know I'm gonna brown or clue spite I feel like it didn't make its venom just for people do we have those in SoCal yeah shit I don't think I've ever seen one um we got we got a few we can just fly them in got bring them uh I've got a bunch of black widows around where I live and that's my only reason for like wanting them away is like protecting the cats I have a app that I can when I see a weird

55:53bug I I can I can identify it well fly because I like to make sure and I I have a lot of false widows so those those are all over the place I know your husband still alive somewhere you lying dude what I have what I have on my patio is the biggest jumping spider I've ever seen in my life really it is legitimately huge jumping spiders are cute it's so cute it's so big that I could like we can make eye contact and I can see that it's looking at me nice it's huge it crawls right it like it'll like turn like this up at you and you're like hey what's up hey bud um love that thing comments you screwed up everyone knows that you are supposed to first swallow a fly it is fortunate however that you didn't swallow a horse that seems to have an undesirable outcome is that it's I love clapping for a lame comment it's poetry it's a joke about palm bringing that commenter from the first story he's like oh yeah you ate a spider well guess what you're dead

57:02was that high-fiving eight legs okay actually great glad you survived that our deal have you considered a cup with a lid this is strangely enough a lesson I learned from fallout new Vegas here we go again really are we are we back ruby Nash commenting on her famous rad scorpion casserole my specialcy is a rad scorpion venom casserole it's more appetizing than it sounds the venom has a sharp smoky flavor and it numbs your mouth so fierce you'll forget you ever had a tongue it's perfectly safe long as you don't have sores in your mouth or ulcers in your stomach for the venom to find your blood because that'll kill you dead whoa that's shockingly specific wow well fallout new Vegas had killer writing so yeah but I made my character named mean Steve and I ruined all that good writing real quick you just blasted through it yeah okay that's good I I almost watched my mom drink a spider once and I was so like panicked about the fact that I

58:07like I didn't know to be like there's a spider in the drink I was just like oh do it like yeah I took a while to get it no she didn't end up drinking it but it was like a live little spider than I was just watching in a clear glass like oh it's just you know yeah you don't expect it I'm not I'm not someone who kills spiders if I can help it I don't kill spiders either yeah so it's like I don't like you know like the other day I was on my computer saw something on the wall three baby spiders little little siblings going and I went I'll see you in your groan yeah but I hope I don't eat them that's the only thing yeah I probably have honestly because you pooping them out would definitely kill them probably yeah I probably by that point they're probably like yeah yeah yeah probably yeah I like put them outside there's there was a TikTok trend recently where people were like guys don't put them outside they're dead like you killed them all because they're only supposed to be inside if they're inside their house spiders and it's like no yeah sorry they were born outside sorry sorry figure that out is one of those things really someone

59:12stitched that they're like high spider scientists that's not true some I guess some could die that's not you can put them outside yeah they'll probably just come back in but like right we'll figure it out I always put them by a plant or something yeah oh they love those yeah okay I heard they're a big fan of those yeah our final story today I fucked up by using a leaf blower on my kids oh you can't do that maybe they had a little parachute on it was fun what if this kids was leaves though no if his kids was leaves I have twin three-year-old boys and they're very active in silly well the other day I was doing some yard work and using my leaf blower to clear away some grass and dirt naturally they're infatuated so I use the leaf blower on them and they love it started chasing them around the neighborhood with the leaf blower pretending they were leaves good old wholesome father's son fun right well naturally now they want me to use the leaf blower on them all the time no biggie it's a fun game and I like playing with the electric leaf blower only now it's everywhere including

1:00:16places where I don't have my leaf blower so instead I have to pretend to blow them away like I'm blowing out of candle still fine all day for the last three days it's been dad can you blow me away very cute stuff well this morning we're at target and the kids are getting a tad squirrely they wanted to go to the park and I said we can go after we finish up here they're dancing around the aisles being toddlers then my son comes up to me in the main aisle and in the biggest toddler yell shots dad that can you blow me hell yeah cue five people turning around to look at me in my kid you'd think by now I'd be immune to toddler-based embarrassment but nah so me in my quietest voice face feeling better than a Macintosh apple respond buddy inside voice do you mean you want me to blow you away son one yes blow me blow me excited toddler jumping son two yeah blow me two dad at me boys inside voices please you mean blow you away right how do you ask for that sons please

1:01:16may you blow us away I blew them away and they go dancing off like leaves the others who are watching snicker and giggle one of the other guys nearby gives me a knowing smirk that clearly said been there proceed to finish the quickest target run off my life this is not guys and jail now yeah he's he's brushing that off a little too fast some guy was just like while he's getting handcuffed yeah he's a scrys those kids are gonna grow up and when they're 15 they're gonna walk in on the dad he's gonna be like there with the mom he's like oh oh whoa oh she's a balloon which don't do that but this don't this is uh this is an arrested development joke is there really Michael on the phone being like how's that new consultant going buddy oh it's great to hear you gotta say away though yeah like says it like a few times we just like

1:02:16oh that's awesome we'll just remember you get say away for that and then later they're like how's that you can tell them it's like well apparently she's blowing everyone away and that's so that's so good I this is a weird one I don't know if I trust it really you think it's fake I think someone heard the arrested development joke and is like I'm gonna write a funny story about that because they're like my face turned redder than the apple is the same with the library one where's like my face was redder than the sunset when the sunset I'm like I don't know if I yeah that's fine it's too it's too perfectly it felt reverse engineered by my mind but I I tend to I think with like the this one I think it might have also just been exaggerated sure I think he might have been at target and his son might have yelled that and it probably like maybe nobody was around or something or just like or something close to it and it's like oh my god like yeah whatever the kid asked like dad I have to go to the bathroom he's like oh can you imagine if he said this other thing I would mean that would fucking suck I will also say that the redder than

1:03:19something there are some phrases that for some reason everyone on reddit they they do it right no matter how many times you read how many stories it's like after every single update is always like oh my gosh thank you guys so much for the up votes I'm like I wasn't expecting this to blow up I every time someone says I wasn't expecting this to blow up I'm like but I guess I guess I'm like okay yeah I I think that's where I need to find the balance because sometimes it's like oh this sounds like it was just written to be written and other times it's like this is kind of the language of reddit yeah kind of just the culture of like you know thank you for the karma kind stranger or like whatever and also toddlers do say crazy shit oh my god like they do do say the device I told this before but my oldest brother I guess when he was like a toddler he couldn't say the word truck yeah say it would come out as fuck sure and my grandma thought that was hilarious so she was constantly like oh what is that over there like fuck constantly making you say it like

1:04:20just constantly comments I sympathize O.P. when my son was a toddler and only knew a few words he loved going down the street with all the different flags and the big clock on the outside of this hotel we had to run his stroller down there to get to story time at the library he would get all excited and yell flags and big clock as we passed them the problem he could not and did not pronounce L's at all the second they said flags and clock I was like I know where this is going we know this also sounds me but maybe I don't know now that toddlers the mayor of weho haha it's West Hollywood the gay city in LA Jesus yeah the only one the only one that's the only place there allowed to be um lastly someone said co-workers kid did something similar he likes pirates booty snack and for months would ask his mom and public mommy can I please eat some booty that's not the just say it first poster

1:05:20yeah first but so I heard through the door and the dad that's like no that's dad's job there we go all right um guys what do we think was the biggest fuck up today eating a spider that nearly kills you I mean that's like that's like that was it is that a fuck up that was like a perfect like god spider god god was like you're gonna have an ulcer and then you're gonna eat a spider and it's gonna be a that's final destination yeah 100 percent I sent whole plagues of this shit yeah I think it was probably the person that brought their anesthesia partner in public yeah that's probably that's the most like you you cause they did yeah like other people had like little like whoopsie daisies this one's like no he went on a rampage yeah nice that the other person didn't press charges yeah but that guy who had his stuffed animal upside down you know fuck him so 23 years looking at that you I hope the dog weener gets your nightmares yeah and it turns into a nose in those nightmares and you're like what does it mean it means you fuck up thank you both for joining me today hey man it was my

1:06:23pleasure it was dope to be on the couch this was obviously very funny I it's always a joy to be here and I'm you know what I'm glad that a lot of these weren't too cringe because sometimes cringe stuff like it hurts it can hurt yeah yeah anyways um thank you all for watching uh go play fallout I guess yeah get some get some H.P. I'm just saying go play fallout it's a game go game the fallout cards for magic the gathering it adds some fun flavor to your game no thank you guys and thank you all for watching we'll see you next Saturday thank you happy birthday to birthday bye bye you know that driving under the influence of marijuana is illegal driving high will get you a DUI and if you're wondering if law enforcement can tell you're driving high well everyone else can friends I can tell you drove high parents I can tell when you drive high relatives I can tell you drove your high didn't you so what makes you think law enforcement can't I can tell if you feel

1:07:26different you drive different drive high get a DUI pay for by Nitzer Andy and Anna here from your new favorite podcast no such thing as a fish yes we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating amazing weird mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis you got any good facts Andy yes how about this one and eaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions wow mysterious wonderful the world really wants them to exist what about this one when a Ronald Reagan left office he left a note on the white house lawn for the squirrels warning them to be aware of George Bush's dogs so there you go if you like fascinating fact and much more besides we are no such thing as a fish did you know that driving under the influence of marijuana is illegal driving high will get you a DUI and if you're wondering if law enforcement can tell you're driving high well everyone else can friends I can

1:08:26tell you drove high parents I can tell when you drive high relatives I can tell you drove your high didn't you so what makes you think law enforcement can't I can tell if you feel different you drive drive high get a DUI pay for by Nitzer