TPP 441: A Conversation with Tosha Schore about Addressing Aggression in Boys

Today, we’re talking about aggression, specifically in boys, and how we as parents can respond with understanding, connection, and compassion instead of fear or shaming. Joining me is Tosha Schore, a powerful voice in peaceful parenting and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully. Tosha is also the creator of the Out With Aggression program and co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. She’s spent decades helping parents shift the way they relate to their kids, especially when big behaviors show up. In our conversation, Tosha and I got into the roots of aggressive behavior in boys, and how it’s so often a signal, not of defiance, but of fear or frustration. We explored how society often mislabels boys as “bad” when they make mistakes with little room for second chances. Tosha shared what it means to truly listen to our kids, how to build safe spaces for them to express themselves without shame, and why emotional connection, not punishment, is the key to long-term growth and emotional development. If aggression is something your family is struggling with right now, this conversation is for you. And if you find it valuable, and I think you will, consider sharing it with other parents who might need it.   About Tosha Schore Tosha Schore is a dynamic leader and globally recognized speaker and trainer dedicated to empowering parents and the professionals who support them. As the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully and creator of the Out With Aggression program, Tosha has equipped thousands of parents worldwide with tools to transform challenging behaviors by fostering connection, confidence, and compassion in their relationships with their children. She is also the author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Drawing on her over two decades of experience, and her extensive training in Hand in Hand Parenting and certification as a Step into Your Moxie® Facilitator, Tosha inspires parents to integrate connection as a bedrock principle in their families, and provides actionable answers to the “then what?” questions parents often face when shifting away from harsher, less effective practices. Tosha is championing a cultural shift toward more compassionate parenting and a more peaceful world.   Things you'll learn from this episode Why understanding boys' behavior requires connecting the dots between their emotions, environment, and executive function challenges How recognizing aggression as a response to fear, frustration, or impulse control issues helps parents approach it with empathy Why creating safe spaces for boys to express emotions without judgment fosters emotional growth and self-regulation Why challenging societal perceptions that label boys as "bad guys" is essential for supporting their emotional development How to prioritize emotional connection over discipline in order to navigate challenging behaviors without shame or escalation   Resources mentioned Toscha Shore’s website Parenting Boys Peacefully Free 10-Day Reconnect Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges by Toscha Shore Dr. John Duffy on Helping Our Struggling Teen Boys (Tilt Parenting podcast) Rescuing Our Sons: 8 Solutions to Our Crisis of Disaffected Teen Boys by Dr. John Duffy Seth Perler, Executive Function Coach   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices