Understanding Divorce Part 2: Exit Plans, Coaching & Your Options with Lauren Fair

This is part two of our two-part series on understanding divorce. We're getting really strategic in this episode with Lauren Fair—a divorce attorney with 16 years of experience AND a master certified life and divorce coach.

I recorded this interview because I think as a society, we are woefully under-educated on how divorce actually works. The actual nuts and bolts of the process.

Here's the thing: whether you're actually going through a divorce OR you're happily married and never want one, understanding how the process works is incredibly empowering. 

Because we are socialized as women to not pay attention to the law part of things, the fine print that governs our lives and our marriages. 

Understanding all the different structures for divorce, whether for your own education or to support a friend or family member will help you in ways we may not know today, but I am trusting that having this resource will be so important and I am so proud to share it with you. 

In this episode I'm joined by the brilliant Lauren Fair as she puts her lawyer hat on and teaches us some simple law things about the different structures we can use and why to use them and why not to use them.

What makes her approach so aligned with my values is that she sees divorce not as a failure but sometimes being one of the most self-honoring choices a woman can make.

From my philosophy, even if you've decided to stay in your marriage, it's still super useful to understand what the heck is divorce and how it works. 

Because everything you need in your marriage you will also need in your divorce—conflict resolution skills, emotional management, strategic communication.

It may be that understanding divorce will motivate you to try really hard one last time or it may open a door in your mind that tells you, it's okay to make this choice from an informed and grounded place. 

So we're getting practical in this episode. 

We talk about exit plans, the strategic advantage of working with a divorce coach (a relatively new discipline that is growing and helping everyone have better outcomes), and we also talk  about safety—financial safety and emotional safety.

This conversation is your permission to get educated, get empowered, and make whatever choice serves your highest good.

If you haven't heard episode one in this series, we will link to that episode in the show notes so you can hear both of them together.

Here is the scoop on what's included -

 

✨ Episode at a Glance

• What an exit plan is and why knowing your options frees you from feeling trapped

• How everything you need in your marriage you will also need in your divorce 

• Why your first call should be to a divorce coach (not an attorney) 

• The different divorce options: mediation, collaborative divorce, litigation, and "kitchen table" divorce 

• Why mediation gives you the most control over your outcome 

• When mediation isn't appropriate and what to consider instead 

• How grief shows up in divorce (even when you're the one who wanted it) 

• Why the way your partner showed up in the marriage is likely how they'll show up in the divorce 

• The importance of building your village: divorce coach, attorney, financial planner, therapist

 

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• Private Coaching with Maggie

• Free Workshop: The Growth Gap

• Marriage Mindset Makeover

• Episode 179: Navigating Stress Cycles

• Episode 76: Trauma, Resourcing & Windows of Tolerance with Shelby Leigh

• Follow Lauren @sensiblesplitdivorce

• Visit Lauren's website: https://faircadora.com/sensiblesplit/

• Listen to her podcast: The Sensible Split