Vocal De Frag Episode 197 Who Are You In The Eyes Of Those Who Think They Know You

Arrow.net. It's all about variety, 20 different podcasts to choose from. And you can find it at

arro.net. We recently shared a conversation with Robert Kool-Bale from Kool and the Gang.

Did you know that his Cool Kids Foundation is helping out children all over the world to

influence them to dig deeper into their musical aspirations and dreams? You're going to find it on

arrow.net, arro.net. Enjoy that exploration. Hey, it's Arrow and this is Vocal D-Frag. Vocal D-Frag

in. It's the opportunity for you to ask the questions and question the answers. And I kind of giggle

at that because this past week in the podcast, I was with a life coach, a motivator and influencer.

And I brought up that term D-Frag in. Cheers. What was that again? I said D-Frag in. It's asking yourself

the questions and question the answers because so many times we turned to other people for those answers.

And what the hell do they know if they've never walked an inch in your shoes? If they've never even

smelled the scent of your toes inside those musky, dirty, old, stained tennis shoes? Oh yeah. If

nobody's feet have been in those shoes, then I think that your focus needs to be on asking yourself

the questions and then questioning yourself with those answers. Just question it. There is glory

in there and I don't want to sound like a Southern preacher because I am not. But there is something to

be said in those answers that you give yourself. And then you turn around and ask another question.

What a pain in the butt, right? Yeah. This is Vocal D-Frag. Something hit me while walking through

the forest here in South Charlotte. A very bitter day today. Oh, it's cold. The sky is very gray

like like a winter, but it ain't going to happen. This is the transition between winter right into

spring and you've got to get winter by the nap of the neck and say, no, no, no, no, you're not hanging

out with us. We're going to lead you do what you got to do through a little tiny two-year-old fib,

but nah, you ain't hanging with us. Well, the subject that came into my heart was based on

who are you in the eyes of the people that think they know who you are? Whoa, who are you in the

eyes of the people that think they know who you are? We face that uphill battle every single day

because we assume that we know our neighbors. We assume that we know our brothers and sisters.

And you know, don't even go there when it comes to co-workers and other people that may have

heard you on the radio or have read something on your social media. You know, who are you in the

eyes of those who assume they know you? What is your hidden craft? First of all, I could talk

about being a mobile entertainer of 34 years and unless you have been behind that control board

and gone through the evolution of where we've been from doing 45s and albums and cassettes into

this digital age and then you're performing until 12 midnight and you're getting home at three

o'clock in the morning to be back up by 6 a.m. If you've never lived those shoes, who are you in the

eyes of those who assume they know you? Because those people that assume they know you, oh those co-workers,

even bosses. And let me tell you something about bosses. I have nothing against those who lead

if you lead. Do you hear that? I have nothing against people who lead if you lead. But if you stand

around and you only bark out orders, that's not leading. What that is? You're showing me who you were

during your days of personal growth. You're saying, look, I didn't like it when they treated me like

that, but God dang it if I'm not going to treat you like this because I know I got my stuff done.

Well, you got your stuff done by choice. That's what it was. You know, get a calm down the boss. I

don't care. If it did, it did. If it didn't, it didn't. But then we get into leadership roles, not to

lead, but rather to assume a position where we can tell people what to do. I have really come face-to-face

with a lot of blind spots when it comes to true leaders in this world today because everybody is

following the leader in front of them who is following the leader in front of them because research

says you should be doing this and what the hell does research know because by the time it gets

to the surface of everything right now, what is your research six months to a year late? Seriously,

you can take a song. Put it out there right now. People ignore it. But then in two to three years,

they may come back and call it their favorite song. How in God's name did something like that happen?

It's called personal discovery. It's learning what your needs are, learning what your likes are,

learning how you're going to incorporate other things outside your four walls of self

to create a stronger path because who are you when other people who assume they know you

are controlling your issues or trying to tell you how to get by certain challenges in your life.

Well, I would do this. Well, you're not me. So don't don't offer yourself unless you're going

to pay the bill. I mean, if you're going to talk to me about taxes and pay them a fricking taxes

for me, okay? Because other than that, who are you if you're going to lead then be a leader?

Think about that. Who are you in the eyes of those who assume they know you?

Who is your secret self? People don't sit in my podcast studio with me. They don't know

what that lifestyle looks like. So when I say that I have 22 interviews this week and it's going

to take me over a week to show prep for it, do you think they know what's going on? No, at that

point in time, when they hear how much work is expected, all of a sudden you're not that cool guy

anymore. And yet I talk to podcasters all the time who go for the love of God. I swear to you,

there is more stress today in podcasting because of the unbelievable hours that are required

to do anything you can to get one lesson. Just one. Who are you when those around you assume

they know you? Do you really need to bear your soul and let them on the inside? Is it time to unveil

the wizard behind the curtain? That's a choice and that's a question. Those are the questions that

you ask yourself and then you question the answers. You don't give it to Tommy down the street

who's been your male boy since you were 17 years old and now he's got a new job. He's the assistant

to the male boy. See, we assume, right? Okay. It's called befragging. Ask the questions question

the answers. I'm Aaron.