We Can't Share

This episode is sponsored by Quince. Quince is all about elevated essentials that

feel effortless. Beautiful everyday outfitting, home gods, accessories, shoes,

belts, you name it they've got it. Beautiful everyday essentials but at really

reasonable prices you know why because they cut out the middleman. 100% organic

cotton sweaters, premium denim, lightweight and heavyweight cashmere, wool

coats, you name it they have it all. I mean I'm obsessed and you see it all over

my social media. I wear stuff that I get at Quince especially I personally love

the long cardigans which have been a lifesaver. Refresh your wardrobe with

Quince. It's like so reasonably priced that you feel good about getting a whole

new wardrobe for a new season. Go to Quince.com slash Shazana for free shipping

on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Quince.com

slash Zana to get free shipping and 365 day return. Quince.com slash Zana. We just

filmed an episode on sharing and it went all over the place. If my makeup is messed up

that's a hint on all the different places it's gonna go. It's unexpected, it's

angry, it's hostile, you're gonna want to tune in because it affects your life.

Sharing. All the problems we have with sharing different aspects of our life with

different people, how we get around them, what makes us angry, what is bringing us

some peace, everything from beginning to end you're gonna hear it only on the Zana

Gurg Family Podcast.

Hello, Namaste. Welcome to the Zana Gurg Family Podcast where all five

guards are in the house. Today's episode is going to make you so angry because

everybody around me is angry as you can see. We had a fight before we turned the

cameras on and then we decided we should capture the fight for you because I'm

sure we're not the only ones fighting about these topics. We are fighting about

the issue of sharing. Sharing clothes, sharing food, sharing a room, sharing a

bed, sharing a bathroom, all the problems associated with sharing. One of my

sons is very upset. The other son is less upset because he took something from

anyway, we're gonna get rid of you. You're always upset. What are you upset about?

Anyway, we're gonna get right into it. Let me introduce the family immediately. My

husband of 28 years Wall Street veteran Shalup guard, my daughter who just

finished college, Zoya guard, my son who is in college, bridge guard, and my

middle schooler, weird guard. Let's get into it. What are the problems with

sharing? Who is the biggest aggressor with sharing in our family? What are the

things we're dealing with? What are you upset about Shalup? I mean like my clothes

and my stuff is really high-end. Everybody knows that. Nobody knows that.

Okay, everybody should know that. Okay. That I buy expensive things. Okay. You know,

it was for Zoya when she went to college, she would take my jacket, she

would take things. Now, I was somewhat happy with her taking it because she

at least took care of it, but bridge took my sweater, which was a French brand

when Claire and put it in the washer. Is that what happened? Wait, black one. Do you remember?

Oh, yeah. The black one did go in the washer, but it wasn't like directly my fault.

How is it directly not your fault? I'm the one who put it in the washer.

No, but somebody has to track it. Like if you put it in the laundry basket, and

if I'm doing laundry, I'm gonna put it in the washer. I mean, European stuff is

not like American stuff. I didn't put it in the laundry out there. I mean, we

would get to say that I put European stuff on a pedestal. No, no, no, no, no.

It was in the laundry basket. This is highlighted a new problem. Why aren't you

doing your own laundry is a question? I call it anyone on laundry. Okay, but why not at home?

That you never, I mean, when I take my stuff and putting in the laundry basket is

doing my laundry. Yeah. Well, anyway, I think everybody knows who the

biggest aggressor of sharing is and the biggest problem child, which is he

speaking, because DD cannot share for anything. Oh, I mean, it's both of you guys.

It's very clearly. No, it's not. No, it's not. Everything. No, no, it used to.

It used to be. It used to be so much worse than me. It used to be DD, and now it's

used to be seen by a black sports jacket. The one that I bought from that. That's only when

I'm running out of the house. When I'm running out of the house, I need a big jacket,

and you're always taking. So I just take it because it's always there. All right, so

he's home. So I need to do it. No, but I always return. How often do you wear

your mom's clothes? But mom likes when I wear her clothes. Oh, I now you're going to

speak for your mom. And I also do it in my order. If you're going to share, you have

to return the clothing to its original place, and you don't do that, which is why you

do not do that. And that's not even that's not the only reason I'm set. Why I'm upset

is that are you always say this? Our job is to be prepared for this podcast. Yes. I

have a lot of fun. I'm not done. I strategically prepared. I ordered multiple. I knew that we're

taking this more seriously, more seriously now. I ordered multiple pairs of pants, the

ones that he's wearing, because that's the ones I like just to wear for this podcast.

He is wearing them. I know he's not going to return them. They're going to be dirty.

My room is going to be messed up. These will be clothes all over my room. My room is going

to have water all over. I'm just I'm not in a good mood right now. And it's all because

of you. And I hope you know that you're not going to make a difference every time I've

asked you to change. You have not changed. And nothing is going to change. It's so

good. You're not prepared. And you do not prepare. That's all my thoughts. All of my

thoughts now. No, we're not done. We have been on the road for you know how long. It's

like I actually disrespectful to even say that. Yes. Shut up. Shut up. Oh, my cortisol

levels. But clearly, if you're got like less than five hours of sleep last night, I'm

not sure how. He is actually making sense. You are not. He's not. You're not. We're not

the two. It's 15. It's not 15. It's 15. I don't know. That's no one. Honestly, Rich,

if you don't even hear what he's saying, there's a problem. Yeah, I agree. You have the

fact. If you have you have even to make a make a rational one, not in a motion. No, it's

okay. No, no, no. You drove last minute. I get that. You're not prepared. That's a fact.

Because you knew. Are you or are you not prepared for this? I brought. I brought. I brought

all of my toiletries that I would never necessary for this. I brought all the work things

because I canceled two meetings to be well, you know, hold on. We're not putting my

commitment or my preparation for this podcast necessary. I was told I was not supposed

to be here this weekend because I had a bunch of work meeting. You guys called me eight

different times. Text me a hundred different saying that I'm a failure to this podcast.

I have not done anything. Oh, my God. Don't say that. They did. They did. I can read

the text. I can read the text. You just joined his defilement. You were not. He gave

up and said, finally, she keeps saying, I hate when you do this stuff. And you're like,

you are not. She says I'm not you. Be your own person. And the truth is, is that I got

texted a hundred times that I was not going to come to this. You spent all this money

to make this even though I came last weekend. Was I here? Was I not here last weekend when

I wasn't supposed to be either? But I came last weekend for three days. You guys were

here. I'm not saying that it was your fault for not being here, but you weren't here when

you told me to come last weekend. And this weekend, you told me to come again when I

couldn't. And I still made it. So that's not do this thing where it's like, oh, he just

came because he got it was not that easy. Bridge, what I'm saying is if he's saying you're

taking his stuff, you're making a mess in his room. And there's water on the bathroom

has come up down many times. If you can't even hear his complain, there's a problem.

Mom, I'm here for two days, literally two days. Yes. So I'm literally like when I get

home after being at college for so long with so much rest, I like to literally like,

I treat it like vacation. I get here and I'm like, I have two days. We're kind of

confusing that. You're just going to treat treat where I live like vacation. Why are you

I think like it's that big of like a change? You're not even like, it's his home to like,

yeah, come on. It's bridges home too. No, no, no, no, that's not it's my home too. It's my

actual home. It's like you're it's like your hotel to mess up. And then there's somebody

who's paid to do room service. Guys, can we just not for a minute? He has an issue. We

told him to to be patient and understand that you're here. You're here last minute. Did

I not say where's the pants right now? And you can switch into them. His pants are

drying in the dryer as we speak. So in half an hour, your pants will be back to you.

It happens. Life, you have to share. You do have to share. I mean, I grew up sharing

one living room four of us siblings. Oh my God. Four of us slept in one living room.

We had my brothers in a tiny apartment in Gazelle. Are we going to go that far back now?

But you have to share. But you have to share life. Like poverty is not sharing. No, what

is the poverty? It's not poverty. We were happy when we were sharing. That's why we're

close as siblings. Like people share all kinds of like Hootsu's

and the Tootsies in Africa live a certain way. That's sharing too. Yeah, but they get along

just fine, right? I'm going to take an audience poll right now. I have to take an audience

poll. There is an Indian New Zealand final of T20 going on. And I sacrifice watching it

to record this podcast. Is that a sacrifice or not? Yes or no? I want to hear. Is he joking?

We have to work. We have a $10,000 shoot plan. The rest of us have been growing. I

am not disagreeing. I just want the audience to become glad. So give them context. What

big sacrifice you made. You make it sound like we were all relaxing. Oh, this is like

saying how I talk in that English soft tone. Is that what you're alluding to? Like

seriously, even even if it is like mentally manipulative without realizing it, like this

slow speaking and the soft tone makes it like it's like being put put to sleep by like

by your by your babysitter or something. Yes. How is that a thing? No, but

if you look, you feel like he's saying something that is so congenial, but actually he's

reminding you that he's smarter than you. But if you because he's not aggressive, it feels

like, oh, this must just be how the world is. I know exactly what you're trying to say.

He's a big manipulator, right? That's not what I was trying to say. That's what you

would rather say. It's okay. I got it. I read between the lines, my son. I don't even

know what the facts are. I'm just telling the facts as they are. There is a T20 final. Nobody

cares about your cricket game. Wait, now that I've only one who shared a room for as long

as I did, did he got her own room when I was in fifth grade, veer got his own room in

what, 9th grade or 8th grade, or 8th grade he got his own room. I'm the only one who's

always had like, that's actually true. Like two years. That's true. That's true.

Bridge is the most easy going kid in this house. Nothing. Like he will never get upset

that that bed is not made up. That's because he's getting to stab us in. Some kind of

it has to be due to. Okay. Can we talk about here? Can we talk about here? Okay. So

veer got into the most competitive high school in the country. It's a three percent. It's

a public high school, a status in high school. I took the exam. Bridge got, took the exam.

Neither of us got into that high school because the board did very much to. Neither of us got

it. But I mean, what does that have to do with it? I just want to bring this up. Ever since

veer got into this high school, he is too good to talk to me. So annoying. I literally

am constantly like, veer, veer. You guys are all raising my course all over. Like, you

said they. Why is it like this? Do it. Okay. Can I just be honest? Can I just be honest?

Cortisol is your stress. Can I just be honest? That was my first day back off of the road.

And not only that, that was my second day back. The first day I had back, I was just working

on a history project for eight hours a day. You saw me on my computer. We also were really

lots to have this in, by the way. And I was having a decent breakup just a week before

with an older woman. So it's not a tough, easy time for him. Okay. I was doing all that.

I had a tutor. I had multiple basketball games. Basketball practice. I just wanted one

day to be able to tune out and be tired. And I still had to come to a show in Philly that

I couldn't even be on the floor for a cause I was underage. And I couldn't be in the

casino. I was not in the mood to talk. And like, it was just very annoying. I was

wrong to not foresee that. Is that what happened? No, now I think it's said to be yourself.

Sorry. Now because he's very fatigued from the weekend.

Pretty fatigued. I'm too fatigued. I'm too fatigued. No, that's gasoline. No, that's

actually gaslighting. That's actually gaslighting. No, gaslighting is going on.

No, that's not true. That's a marriage going wrong. That is marriage going on.

This is gaslighting. This is gaslighting. Because you're basically saying that his

reasons are not rational. I actually think you're coping partially. Yeah, you're also coping.

You're trying to cope with the fact that you're in terrible roommate with the fact that

I'm trying to convince me that I'm tired. You get this kind of pushback on being

that kind of a roommate at college too. Because I can't share the room. Yeah, but

their room was a disaster. I visited his college. I saw laundry on the floor for two

months. Having laundry on the floor also makes it easy to find things, right? What?

Like if you had everything fucked away. Not true. When I was last year, I had no laundry

for this. I did that. I did that. I did my roommate last year. I wish I could all

the time. We would put laundry on the floors. It's just easy to find everything.

That's disgusting. How did you date him through that? I mean, I did not meet your mom

by that time. Things started to go downhill after you met your mother. But before that,

things used to be on the floor all the time. All right. Can we switch topics? Just

switching something else. I'm going to talk about first. I'm going to be sharing food. I was

going to be sharing food. Okay. I can't share food. There are people on this in this room

kept who will say, Oh, I'm not hungry. I'll just take a bite of whatever you order. And

then all that breaks loose when the thing arrives. And that is not me. She is alluding

to someone else. We don't know who. TV. No, I mean, no, no, it's not you. Your dad does it

all the time. Your dad does it all the time. No, he'll be like, you want the veggie pizza because

I'm ordering my steak and my pasta. But then when the veggie pizza arrives, it's like,

Oh, it looks really good because, you know, vegetables actually news a lot, actually are delicious

and look good. My entire audience knows that I eat once a day, which means I have to eat a protein

heavy meal, which means vegetables could not really be a big part of it. So then don't eat

my vegetables. And I don't. You're just making this up. She is essentially lying.

Shall I? Can we take a poll? Is there not right now lying or not lying? Okay. And I'm not going

to say it in that English way. I'm going to say it in that aggressive way. Is she lying or not lying

right now? No, swear on your mother and tell people that you have not eaten my veggie pizza.

I'm going to take my mom's name in vain. Oh. Oh, now you sound like a hero. We have, we have the

proof. Yes, just to take my mom's name in vain. It's not in vain. It is helping me

a bit. The core wants to add the context that she is a vegetarian. Yes. And the rest of us eat

meat. And they order their own food. Yeah. And then they all want to pick my food because they love

vegetables when they show up. Look at how beautiful. Look at how beautiful this thing is. Look,

look at how you never eat it in real life. What is? Rupert. No, I'm Heather. I'm Heather. I'm

Heather. I'm Heather. I'm Heather. I'm Heather. I'm Heather. I'm Heather. I thought this was

this is what I thought. Why would you do that? What do you mean?

Stop making my vegetables. That hurt. No, sorry. I mean, I've worked out, so it just hurt me,

but I can understand why you worked out so it didn't hurt me. That was collateral damage,

but why did you catch me on the crossfire? It happens sometimes. This is a river. She has never

eaten a watermelon or something. Yes, I'm fine. It's just not a good day for you being okay.

And for the more, there is only one person amongst the five who has been unable to find a place

to eat after having lived in Sydney, New York, which is by the Macau food in the world for 2018.

No, no, no, no, no. They all eat meat. He, his parrot, whatever. But I talk these kids to eat meat

in their life because they're only just you chew the meat and then feed it to them like what

does it mean? Like what does it mean to teach to eat meat? I mean, you just make things up. I didn't

grow up eating really. You think it's funny. It was years of my life. I'm going to ask the question.

He's laughing. The corroborating. This is funny. Who of your parents taught you to eat meat

and who grilled it for the first time? No, I'm just tasting. And who was that human being? Please tell

everyone. That's a crazy leading question, but it was you. I don't want to dance every episode,

but like he's not choice. Well, he did, though. What I remember eating steak for the first time.

No, he took me to a restaurant and he forced me to. I actually didn't want to eat it. Do you

understand the hold on before the steak missing? By the way, the grill that he's so proud of,

the meat that he's so proud before all of that miraculously showed up, marinated and ready to grill

in our house. Somebody taught you guys to eat the eggs, to eat the chicken, to know that steak is

something you're going to eat, because you need the protein, because you're all at the

same level. You were not telling us about the protein content levels of chicken when we were five

years old. But actually, it's exactly why I taught you guys to eat this stuff, because you were

telling us there's protein in this eat the protein. Like when we burned bread, it was literally like an

infant. You were explaining protein to him. Yes, I'm not. I'm not even going to sell it. Let's take

a poll of my three kids. No, just be quiet. You guys were very little. Well, you already were starting

to do sports and I knew that living in America, playing sports, you cannot live that carpe, heavy

vegetarian lifestyle in America. Wait, you're not this beauty. I'm not this beauty. So it

seems your childhood. Do you know how many YouTube videos I saw on how to clean chicken

and how to braise it and how to how to. YouTube hasn't even come up yet. When they were little,

YouTube was not invented. I have been shut up. Pull out all my cookbooks right now. Okay,

now it's books and not YouTube. Oh my god. It's okay. Like, you know, I'm just saying that's fine.

I'm just proud of myself. Actually, like, do you just think that they could try all of you guys

years of. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Years of my life, you think it's so funny that you could

just take a kid to a steakhouse and be like, eat it. No, he was, it was years of teaching you that

this is awful. And that's all your credit. Honestly, it is your credit. Well, we're just,

we're just questioning the idea that when we were in fact, I grew up like, yes, when we,

no, no, no, when we were infants, were you lecturing us? Yes. When we were infants, we couldn't even

walk. I had to, okay, hold on. How could we understand you guys were little? I have been teaching you,

you must be the protein heavy meat. When we could ask you to go up, I didn't grow up in a household

that allowed an egg. Oh my god. I didn't even touch it. I didn't tell you guys,

were born. But for your health, I learned how to cook eggs. I learned how to not only cook,

learn how to cook every single type of egg for breakfast. No, you guys were two years old when I

was like, learn how to make oatmeal that nobody fed me. It's easy for you to sit here and be like,

he took me to a restaurant. Okay, that is like, that wasn't supposed to be the intent of

you. No, no one was supposed to cook. We can't see where you went! We know, we know. No one is no one is

true. It's absolutely correct to see. I know the author. I'm sure that was broccoli on this side

because you have read regiments. The amount of years I've lost trying to feed you guys

give you good food habits. Any truth? Do you not have good food habits? It's all because of you

We just want to say that don't start laughing like oh, your dad took you to a steakhouse.

No, that's...

I promise you we all agree on that.

You did it wrong.

That's what you did it.

You guys think it's funny.

You think it happens one day when you're eating it.

We don't want to say that.

You're not only you guys,

you know how many of your friends learn how to eat in our house.

We know.

No, we agree.

They are grown kids today that meet me on the street and say

because of you being broccoli.

That is true.

I mean, you're right.

That the steak that I made was just towards the end of my life.

Do I even talk?

The whole thing is one thing.

No more no idea.

What?

Okay.

You know what would be the easiest thing for me.

I couldn't focus on my own food.

Got on my own pilates class and my own

podcast that made my own life.

And said I'm worried about you guys all the time.

Mom, we do attribute everything to you

when it ever comes to like all most things.

But definitely food we agree is you.

My house won't even today.

Both my brothers and my sister's house homes.

I grew up in even today.

In 2026, do not allow eggs.

That's how I grew up.

But just so you guys have a habit that you're not restricted anymore.

This episode is sponsored by Quince.

Quince is all about elevated essentials that feel effortless.

Beautiful everyday outfitting, home gods,

accessories, shoes, belts, you name it, they've got it.

Beautiful everyday essentials.

But at really reasonable prices, you know why?

Because they cut out the middleman.

100% organic cotton sweaters, premium denim,

lightweight and heavyweight cashmere,

wool coats, you name it, they have it all.

I mean, I'm obsessed and you see it all over my social media.

I wear stuff that I get at Quince,

especially I personally love the long cardigans,

which have been a lifesaver.

Refresh your wardrobe with Quince.

It's like so reasonably priced that you feel good

about getting a whole new wardrobe for a new season.

Go to Quince.com slash Zarna for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

Now available in Canada too.

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Quince.com slash Zarna.

Are you go?

Just so your success is not restricted by the same things that have helped me down.

I learn how to wake everything myself.

I cooked every meat.

I know how to make shrimp.

I know how to make lobster tail.

All the things that you guys love to eat.

I won your tutorial at a time.

I taught myself how to make just for you guys.

I don't even taste it.

Do you know how hard it is to cook something?

You can't take a bite of.

That's true.

I have a very good lobster tail.

Please don't do a great job.

I don't want to do this episode.

Somebody finish it.

Oh no, we have to continue.

Come on.

This is an important discussion.

Guide us in a different direction.

I feel like what happened right now is mom sacrifice over 15 years of her life.

To raising us.

Which is true.

Over 15 years.

If you read my essay by any chance that was about how I got her started in comedy,

one of the reasons me, bridge, and veer especially were so obsessed with

doing everything we could to help her was because we understood that she put in those years of

sacrifice for us.

Would you say that's true?

That we actively did understand.

So in this moment, I do agree with you that we were very inconsiderate of how you were feeling.

I think what bridge and I were responding to was the literal visual of you.

Yes, and put that visual in your head because you guys were one year old sitting in that

blessed dining chair where I was feeding you one bite of egg at a time.

I understand.

Because if you don't learn these things as a child,

we are only healthy.

We are only healthy because of you without a doubt, right?

And after feeding you all those things, I got you guys ready and I went and I taught you how to swim

by myself.

I know.

Did he do?

Have you taken them for one day in a pool?

Not this building where we have it now.

In a public pool where you should pack up the bags and take them because my kids will not

grow up with the restrictions that I grew up with.

No, we learned how to swim.

We learned how to eat.

We also learned how to dress well.

We learned you always bought us the best clothes so that we would I remember.

I remember that I won the best smelling toddler like year after year.

Like all the elementary school teachers would be like, no, I did.

He knew this was a true thing.

Those teachers used to say, we wait for Zoya to show up because she smells like a rose.

Because all of you guys I used to get up and give you guys a shower early in the morning.

Chris Peklas, he's three of us and very what's our tailored to go anywhere like it does.

Not like this shabble kid.

And these details actually really matter.

They don't just pop up that when we were infant.

Yes, when you were infant.

No, no, no, no, we understand them.

The moms who are sitting there and doing this work, you know how back break it.

Try feeding a kid.

A pee and a berry and all.

All these things that you love today, all these berries and tingles fall out of a sky.

Some mothers sat there and taught you how to eat it and didn't just throw a donut at a frozen waffle.

No, 100%.

Do you remember a single breakfast where you ate a frozen waffle or a breakfast cereal?

And we don't even allow that stuff in our house.

I mean, me and the producer of this podcast, we were just talking about how we went to a high

school where there were 800 people agreed.

And we, her and I were one of the few people in our grade that were lucky enough to have our mom's

packers home food because a lot of the other students would just eat from the food trucks or

what was available in the public school cafeteria.

And you can see the effects of eating that food over years and years and years in those kids versus

were very, were healthy kids.

And we're so lucky.

We were just talking about how lucky we are to have moms who have who's slaved over those meals

for us so that we could eat healthy, good quality food.

So we, we understand you sacrifice so much like so, so, so, so much.

And I think we all owe mom an apology.

And I think you especially dad owe her an apology.

I apologize unequivocally, no snidey comments either.

Just pure apology.

I'm sorry.

And can you please admit that the only reason we are healthy is because of her?

Yes.

And for the more articulate and well dressed and healthy and working out, right?

You worked out very early on.

Like, we works out now and he's only 14 years old.

We has been working out since he was five.

You don't know that.

He's been going to every class and I didn't, when he doesn't want to go,

I sat there with him.

So he stays in the class because of the three of you.

Because I saw the three of you being so health conscious and working out.

And I love to arm wrestle with the three of you.

You know, I can't because you've become very strong.

But yes, I accept all of this points.

I already said I apologize arm wrestle as if that's a sport.

Like the 30 seconds on a table.

I mean, it's a measure of strength, but yes, I get it.

It's a game.

Yeah, but I do think that credit really matters and being a mom.

I'm not even saying give me credit.

No, no, you guys are openly mocking me.

No, you're mocking my efforts by saying as an infant, as an, you know, I can't wait.

I can't wait for you guys to have kids.

The day you have a kid and you have to feed that kid and you wake up and you're like,

my back is going to break.

If I try to keep feed this kid a berry, that day you will understand what your mother did.

You will not get it until then.

I'm really sorry that we made you feel that way.

I'm not made you feel that way.

I'm really sorry that we were portraying it in a way that made that was ridiculing your very hard work.

Okay, anyway, let's move on.

I should also apologize that we're all doing it.

Yeah, I'm very sorry for making jokes about the situation and kind of like

ensuing that you didn't do certain things when I truly do believe that virtually everything

that I have now is built off of habits that you have created when we were very, very, very young.

You know how crazy I was.

You guys brought home all your American friends who used to say, I don't need vegetables.

Not only did I teach you guys, so you guys don't stop eating.

I had to teach all your friends.

I know.

Because do you remember all your friends used to come up and be like, I don't eat all this.

And I had to be like, okay, let's do it patiently.

We made a million food projects on this kitchen table in this kitchen right here.

No.

Just because I was so nervous that if you hang around these people,

you will stop eating vegetables.

No, I'm very sorry.

I'm very sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

I mean, you didn't make any comments.

But still for whatever reaction.

Okay, anyway, let's go back to sharing, okay.

There are only one thing about sharing that's driving me absolutely crazy.

And I think it's just our family.

But I don't know.

Is that we have a bathroom where a few of us brush our teeth in the morning or on our way in and out.

Somehow all the brushes, these electrical brushes all look the same.

Because they all white with the same head.

They get messed up every time I come into the bathroom.

Somebody has used my brush or somebody has moved my brush or this is not a thing

at anybody else's household.

I think this is a crazy thing that I know.

Sharing a bathroom is complicated in general.

Right.

But I think we do a pretty good job sharing a bathroom.

I'm not, who is we?

Me and my do not do a good job.

I do a good job.

Heat is not, so collectively, we do not do a good job.

Because if you don't have 50% coming from both ways, it adds up to 50%,

which is not 100%.

If you don't know, if you know how to do math, see how?

50% is not 100.

This is why he's going to say.

Yeah, he just said 50% 50%.

There is nothing math about that.

It was such a rational decision.

If one person does not put in 50%, or at least 49,

you can't get about 90.

I do the same math with the sharing of the bathroom with your mom

that because one person doesn't do a good job,

she does not use your bathroom anymore.

She does for her work.

Yeah, I do.

You know what we should do?

Everyone should need one thing that they're frustrated by

because of sharing.

And we should make deals on this podcast.

With, oh my god.

I'm actually my cortisol.

We're like, wait, are there any stops?

We've even the cortisol.

No, there's the shit out of me.

I'm scared too.

I might have a panic.

I might have a 14-year-old heart attack.

No, since last podcast, you have not changed a single thing.

That's not true.

We did it, okay, for the viewers, we did a podcast

where everyone was like saying one thing.

I made it completely.

You agreed.

You were like, if you're that such an articulate argument,

that's what we've done.

We've tried to shape you this way.

I made such an articulate argument.

That did not make a single change.

There's been water all over my bathroom.

Cause just lying.

You were actually lying.

How am I lying?

You said one thing you need to stop doing it.

It's put water in the floor.

There's no water in the floor.

That's not true.

There has multiple times.

You're actually lying.

You're saying it's true.

That's not true.

That's how I went out of my way to make sure

there's no water in the bathroom.

You know what's not true.

That's not true.

It's your lie.

Like this is just a lie now.

Okay.

So explain what you've done, Bridge.

Yeah.

So when there's water on the bathroom floor,

I have cleaned, first of all,

since last fall of this episode,

I've barely been here.

Like I've been here once or twice.

And not even including this time.

So that's not true.

You just got done telling us.

You were here last week.

But that's twice, right?

That's not like, it's not like I've been here.

And in those times I've taken showers,

I actually have cleaned the bathroom floor

to make sure there's no water in the floor.

Even more, I moved a lot of my toiletries

last time all to my bathroom.

So it doesn't get here.

Bridge, I'm going to be honest.

I do use the water on the floor.

What about what?

It's not true in India.

What do you used to buy in India?

It's just testing.

But that's how Indian bathrooms

are water everywhere.

We don't live like that in America, Shalom.

Okay.

It's also like it's a 30-second effort thing.

No, hold on.

But we're, we're, we're,

in fairness to Bridge for a second.

You are extremely finicky.

Can you admit that?

Yeah, I can admit.

Okay.

But you're trying

and you are on the other extreme.

And we're going to try our best

to continue to meet in the middle, right?

Because what would you rather have?

You would rather have a pristine bathroom

and your brother never visits?

I've considered that.

No, you would not have considered that.

No, the answer is no.

And also he's not visiting.

This is his home, too.

No, yeah.

I mean, it's one thing for daughter to leave,

but son never leaves a home.

Wait, what?

Wait, I mean, he's an older son.

I have to sleep with the podcast.

What?

It's the truth.

Why?

Because I'm going to go get married off

and live with someone else's family.

Is that what you want?

That's going to work.

I am not changing my last name.

It's okay if you don't change your last name.

You can have a name.

What?

That makes sense.

You wanted to change your last name?

No, but then what do you think?

Go dash my history.

It's okay.

There can't be something like that.

Well, actually, it's up to her.

Because they can have her last name or his last name.

Traditionally, it's a man's last name.

You can have a name.

It's okay.

The modern world.

Okay.

Anyway, okay.

This is endless.

Nice.

Can we just agree that it's good to have the brother home?

And he's going to try.

Can we?

I'm just going to try.

I have been trying.

Like, now I'm excited.

Because I've been putting it, I've been making a difference.

And it's not going to knock it.

No, but reals, he is.

He's accepting that he's true.

He's accepting.

Yeah, and I accept that I'm also on the other end.

So I do accept that.

Which is why I even try.

No, I don't think you're on the other.

I honestly don't think you're on the other.

It's not like you cannot say that bridge is a slob.

You can have I ever said that before.

Yeah, you're not on the other end.

You're just not as great like he is.

Yeah, I think he's like,

and the intensity of the next four years necessitates

that we get to calm quiet, relax.

Shella, he's going to high school.

We got to school.

Yeah, I think like he's going to war and Afghanistan.

It is kind of war style.

You know how it is.

What?

It actually is kind of war style.

I'm going to say I know that.

It's not like a regular high school.

It is the top number one high school.

It's a legacy.

It's going to work after that.

He's going to need to go.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Anyway, anyway, we need to just, this episode.

Wait, I actually think Bridges,

um, pole or question or whatever.

You want to call it is a good thing?

Yeah, everyone says everyone, I want to make deals.

I'm going to make handshakes.

Okay, let's make a deal.

Okay, I'm going to try not to be as perfect

so that people don't feel like they're not doing as good a job.

And I'll try to make that happen.

That's my contribution.

What?

The cleanliness and the overall high quality products,

I'm going to try to do less of it.

Okay.

Okay, I have a deal.

I think this is fair, if not you can do whatever.

But make a deal with me.

I'll let you wear my clothes while you're here

with two conditions that come along with it.

First one, they go back to where they were or the wash

or the wash.

And second of all, you're not allowed to take any of them back to college.

Like most of the time.

No, you're not.

See, that's the issue.

That is so reasonable.

You cannot take your clothes and you cannot take his clothes to college.

How is he going to access his clothes?

Okay, fine.

I won't take your clothes.

Shake my hand.

No, two college.

Yeah, I'm not taking the college.

Okay.

And if you do, you'll bring them back.

The next time you bring them back.

No, don't say that.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that doesn't mean you should take them.

I'm saying if they somehow get misplaced,

then I understand.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

They're not, it kind of exists in clothes at college already.

But those have to come back if there is clothes.

But they're going to come back regardless.

But I'm saying like, there's no obligation.

I have to bring them back next time I come back.

Yes, for future clothes.

No, it's starting now.

Yes, starting now for everything for the past.

It's bad.

No, not for the past.

Yes, you understand how you're sure to get them.

The past clothes, I will give you the three conditions again.

Oh my god.

Every time you wear them, there's a new one.

Every time, every time you wear them,

they either go back in the wash or in my closet

if they don't need to be washed.

Okay, I agree to that one.

Two, you do not, you cannot take any of them to college.

They stay in, they stay in this household, not in Ithaca.

Okay.

Third one, all the clothes at your college come back that are mine.

At the end of the semester.

No, no, like now.

No, I can see that, that's okay.

We can't make a deal like this.

I can't, I'm not bringing back next time.

I come, first I have to bring back like a whole suitcase.

Fine, I'll find a suitcase.

So yeah, I'm just going to see kids wear the biscuits to college.

No, but if I'm bringing back his clothes,

I'm going to bring like everything, right?

So I'm not going to just like see a lot of clothes.

That's why I think there's a lot of clothes.

How many, how many of them have a lot of clothes?

If another all viewers, they're like a lot of them are mine.

So he's just asking to bring his clothes back.

Yes, so at the end of the semester, I'll bring you back.

When is the end of semester?

Okay, just shake hands.

We had, oh my god, this is exhausting.

That was the worst deal, man.

That was a great deal.

I said, we'll see the sticking.

I don't see any clarification valued.

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