What’s Really Happening When Your Toddler Loses It with Devon Kuntzman

In this episode, Tara is joined by Devon Kuntzman, author of Transforming Toddlerhood: Your Essential Guide to Age 1-5, to talk about what’s really happening when a child loses it, and why so many of us feel completely stuck in those moments. Devon explains that when a child is at a “level 10,” they’re in a full stress response. This isn’t bad behavior or manipulation; it’s a nervous system in overdrive. When kids are this overwhelmed, they’re not capable of logic or reasoning, and they often don’t even fully know what they’re doing, which can be both frustrating and freeing for parents to understand.

They also dig into why tantrums are not the time to lecture, punish, or try to make a point. No matter how calm or logical you think you’re being, a child in a tantrum simply can’t process it. Instead, Devon encourages parents to shift the goal from “teaching a lesson” to emotional regulation, starting with ourselves. When we understand our child’s brain state and bring awareness to the moment, we’re far more likely to help things settle rather than escalate.

This conversation offers a compassionate, realistic approach to tantrums that helps parents feel less reactive, more regulated, and a whole lot less alone during that tricky period of toddlerhood.

Links:

https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com

https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com/pre-order-book/

https://www.instagram.com/transformingtoddlerhood/

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