What You Need in Life | ReWire 1901

Welcome to the rewire podcast. I'm your host Ryan Stoeman and I'm here to rewire your mind for success

You were put on this planet for success. You were created to succeed

But the force of average is after you every single day my brothers and sisters and this podcast is the one thing

This design to help you fight the force of average and excel in every area of your life. We're glad that you're here

Paging Dr. Stoeman

Paging Dr. Stoeman

Today I am not a doctor. I am not medically licensed

I didn't even graduate high school. So take what I'm about to tell you very seriously

But before you just take action on this you should research it and maybe talk to somebody a little smarter than I am

Here's the thing. I'm fucking smart and I'm right

I'm telling you what I'm gonna say is really smart and really right

But it may not be really smart and really right for everybody because if you're already on some kind of medicine or some shit like that

You can't just stop taking it

Okay, so I have to say these disclosures because I assume you guys are super smart right

But then there's always somebody who doesn't belong here that somewhere somehow stumbled across it

And I don't want them to suffer from their lack of understanding how we roll around here

Okay, so I got Dr. Stoeman here with a prescription for life

This is what you need

You don't need depression medicine

You don't need anxiety medicine

You don't need to go learn how to cope you don't need therapy

Here's what you need first you need to quit eating bullshit

Now what is bullshit right because everybody always says that and it's some vague shit what is bullshit

In my opinion bullshit is anything you can get from a convenience store

Here's the beautiful thing

There's bullshit, but then there's good shit that's just like the bullshit

Just not as tasty as the bullshit

What I mean is there's like rice crispy treats in the gas station

But then if you go to Whole Foods they sell a version of rice crispy treats

That tastes just as good but the flavor is a little bit different because it's more natural healthy stuff for you

You can go get gif peanut butter and it's got a bunch of additives and stuff like that

Or you can get the natural real stuff from a place like Whole Foods or Amazon

And you can get the natural stuff sent to you and you can eat it

So if you like snicker bars go order a first form pretzel chocolate protein bar

If you like Snickers and you like butter finger or Milky Way go get you a chocolate pretzel first form protein bar

Go order them

They sell them impacts alike. I don't know fucking 10 or 20

Go order them

Have them sent to your house and every time you want to eat a snicker eat one of those motherfuckers

First of all they taste better than Snickers right you can't believe it's a protein bar

My wife's like this has to be candy and second of all it's good for you

So instead of going and eating french fries maybe you debate potato or mashed potatoes

Right maybe throw some greens into your life

Well, most of your shit can be fixed diet-wise by just drinking a green smoothie every day

If you've got door dash you can order a green smoothie every day

If you've got somewhere in your local neighborhood that you can get a green smoothie

Five days weak green smoothie man your bowel is gonna work right your guts gonna be less acidic

Your butthole's gonna thank you because vegetables make the doodoo slide y'all

So some of y'all need some vegetables you spend a two damn long on the toilet especially a lot of you guys all right

So number one eat healthy number two go to the gym

This is my prescription for the healthiest best life ever where you don't need medicine go to the gym

Go to the gym and do cardio

It's not about bench press in 200 300 400 pounds not about squat in two 300 pounds

It's about moving

It's about being limber and being lean

I'm not asking you to go turn into Steve Ku Klow or Steve weatherford or pastor craft

Right, I'm just telling you go to the gym move around because here's a simple math equation for you to remember calories consume

Minus calories burn equal calories retain the least amount of calories retained is the goal every day

And finally the last part of this three-part prescription eat healthy

Go to the gym and make sure especially guys you haven't sex at least three times a week

If you're single have sex with yourself at least three times a week

But you can't store that stuff up you store that stuff up man

It clouds your judgment it clouds your mind that post-nut clarity is worth millions of dollars to a lot of men out here

No, if you're regularly getting laid your prostate is working well

If you regularly get laid and you're eating healthy and you're in the gym 99% of your problems will go away

Right, oh your chick don't like you ladies don't like you you eat and write go into the gym now you develop things that ladies like

They're called muscles

Huh imagine that you're not making money your low energy eat right go to the gym now you got energy now

You got muscles guess what people buy more from pretty people

Check the stats

For two or three years under the Biden administration

They had a bunch of fat ugly people and commercials a lot of companies went out of business

Think about it

That's my prescription for life

You've got it on the pad now go take it to the pharmacy and cash it in