0:00
Welcome to the rewire podcast. I'm your host Ryan Stoeman and I'm here to rewire your mind for success
0:07
You were put on this planet for success. You were created to succeed
0:11
But the force of average is after you every single day my brothers and sisters and this podcast is the one thing
0:18
This design to help you fight the force of average and excel in every area of your life. We're glad that you're here
0:29
Today I am not a doctor. I am not medically licensed
0:33
I didn't even graduate high school. So take what I'm about to tell you very seriously
0:38
But before you just take action on this you should research it and maybe talk to somebody a little smarter than I am
0:46
Here's the thing. I'm fucking smart and I'm right
0:49
I'm telling you what I'm gonna say is really smart and really right
0:53
But it may not be really smart and really right for everybody because if you're already on some kind of medicine or some shit like that
1:00
You can't just stop taking it
1:02
Okay, so I have to say these disclosures because I assume you guys are super smart right
1:06
But then there's always somebody who doesn't belong here that somewhere somehow stumbled across it
1:10
And I don't want them to suffer from their lack of understanding how we roll around here
1:14
Okay, so I got Dr. Stoeman here with a prescription for life
1:18
This is what you need
1:20
You don't need depression medicine
1:22
You don't need anxiety medicine
1:25
You don't need to go learn how to cope you don't need therapy
1:29
Here's what you need first you need to quit eating bullshit
1:33
Now what is bullshit right because everybody always says that and it's some vague shit what is bullshit
1:38
In my opinion bullshit is anything you can get from a convenience store
1:42
Here's the beautiful thing
1:44
There's bullshit, but then there's good shit that's just like the bullshit
1:48
Just not as tasty as the bullshit
1:51
What I mean is there's like rice crispy treats in the gas station
1:54
But then if you go to Whole Foods they sell a version of rice crispy treats
1:58
That tastes just as good but the flavor is a little bit different because it's more natural healthy stuff for you
2:04
You can go get gif peanut butter and it's got a bunch of additives and stuff like that
2:08
Or you can get the natural real stuff from a place like Whole Foods or Amazon
2:12
And you can get the natural stuff sent to you and you can eat it
2:15
So if you like snicker bars go order a first form pretzel chocolate protein bar
2:21
If you like Snickers and you like butter finger or Milky Way go get you a chocolate pretzel first form protein bar
2:29
They sell them impacts alike. I don't know fucking 10 or 20
2:33
Have them sent to your house and every time you want to eat a snicker eat one of those motherfuckers
2:37
First of all they taste better than Snickers right you can't believe it's a protein bar
2:41
My wife's like this has to be candy and second of all it's good for you
2:45
So instead of going and eating french fries maybe you debate potato or mashed potatoes
2:51
Right maybe throw some greens into your life
2:53
Well, most of your shit can be fixed diet-wise by just drinking a green smoothie every day
2:59
If you've got door dash you can order a green smoothie every day
3:02
If you've got somewhere in your local neighborhood that you can get a green smoothie
3:06
Five days weak green smoothie man your bowel is gonna work right your guts gonna be less acidic
3:12
Your butthole's gonna thank you because vegetables make the doodoo slide y'all
3:16
So some of y'all need some vegetables you spend a two damn long on the toilet especially a lot of you guys all right
3:21
So number one eat healthy number two go to the gym
3:24
This is my prescription for the healthiest best life ever where you don't need medicine go to the gym
3:30
Go to the gym and do cardio
3:32
It's not about bench press in 200 300 400 pounds not about squat in two 300 pounds
3:39
It's about being limber and being lean
3:42
I'm not asking you to go turn into Steve Ku Klow or Steve weatherford or pastor craft
3:46
Right, I'm just telling you go to the gym move around because here's a simple math equation for you to remember calories consume
3:52
Minus calories burn equal calories retain the least amount of calories retained is the goal every day
3:58
And finally the last part of this three-part prescription eat healthy
4:02
Go to the gym and make sure especially guys you haven't sex at least three times a week
4:08
If you're single have sex with yourself at least three times a week
4:11
But you can't store that stuff up you store that stuff up man
4:14
It clouds your judgment it clouds your mind that post-nut clarity is worth millions of dollars to a lot of men out here
4:20
No, if you're regularly getting laid your prostate is working well
4:24
If you regularly get laid and you're eating healthy and you're in the gym 99% of your problems will go away
4:30
Right, oh your chick don't like you ladies don't like you you eat and write go into the gym now you develop things that ladies like
4:36
They're called muscles
4:38
Huh imagine that you're not making money your low energy eat right go to the gym now you got energy now
4:44
You got muscles guess what people buy more from pretty people
4:48
For two or three years under the Biden administration
4:51
They had a bunch of fat ugly people and commercials a lot of companies went out of business
4:56
That's my prescription for life
4:59
You've got it on the pad now go take it to the pharmacy and cash it in