When God Doesn’t Answer the Way You Want | When God Says, “No,” to Our Prayer Requests – Part 1

When God doesn't answer the way we want it can be very discouraging. It can leave us feeling very hurt and confused. When we are praying for ourselves or others and those prayers are not answered, we might feel like it’s our fault. We might be tempted to think, “If we only prayed a little more, had a little more faith, or were a little more mature, then God would say yes.” This sermon will encourage you that it’s not necessarily your fault and you don’t need to feel bad. Hearing no from God can be quite a trial, but God knows best. His ways are right. He is all knowing and if the answer is no it’s because that's the perfect answer. He understands time and purpose better than we can imagine. Being wise means trusting God and walking by faith including when we hear now. Here is part 2: When God Says, “No,” Trust Him and Walk By Faith. https://youtu.be/2eUTDv-MfjU When God doesn't answer the way we want it can be very discouraging. It can leave us feeling hurt and confused, as though it’s our fault. Table of ContentsSermon Lessons for When God Doesn't Answer the Way You WantFamily Worship Guide for When God Doesn't Answer the Way You WantSermon Notes for When God Doesn't Answer the Way You WantGod might say no because (lesson 1) we’re being selfish.God might say no because (lesson 2) it’s not His will.God might say no because (lesson 3) sin has consequences.God might say no because (lesson 4) of the other person. Sermon Lessons for When God Doesn't Answer the Way You Want God might say no because: Lesson 1: we are being ______________ (James 1:5 cf. James 4:1-3). Lesson 2: it’s not ______ ________ (John 14:13-14, 1 John 5:14). Lesson 3: ______ ______ consequences (Deuteronomy 3:23-28, 2 Samuel 12:16-18). Lesson 4: of the __________ ____________ (Jeremiah 7:15-17, 15:1, Ezekiel 14:13-16). Family Worship Guide for When God Doesn't Answer the Way You Want Day 1: Read James 1:5 cf. James 4:1-3 and discuss: why do we need wisdom during trials? Why do we need wisdom when God doesn’t answer our prayers? Name some selfish prayer requests God might not answer. Name some unselfish prayer requests you hope you would answer. Feel free to share some specific selfish and unselfish requests of your own. Day 2: Read John 14:13-14 and 1 John 5:14 and discuss: what does it mean to pray in Jesus’s name? How do we know when we are praying in Jesus’s name? How do we know when we are not? Pastor Scott shared about Steven Lee, the founder of Sermon Audio and how God didn’t answer his prayer to bring about something that would bring Him greater glory. Can you think of other examples of this? Day 3: Read Deuteronomy 3:23-28 and 2 Samuel 12:16-18 and discuss: why wasn’t Moses able to go into the Promised Land? Despite David’s prayer and fasting why do you think the child of adultery died? What can we learn about prayer from these two examples? Day 4: Read Jeremiah 7:15-17, 15:1, Ezekiel 14:13-16 and discuss: why do you think God wouldn’t listen to the prayers of these godly men interceding for the Jews? What does this teach us about intercession and prayer for others? In what ways does this discourage us? In what ways can this encourage us? Sermon Notes for When God Doesn't Answer the Way You Want The title of this morning’s sermon is, “When God Says No – Part one.” Go ahead and open your Bibles to James 1. We have been in a series called, “Pursuing Wisdom.” It’s been about two months because of the weeks that I couldn’t preach when I was in bed. Then I preached a few sermons about our bodies breaking down. The pause in the series came at a good time, because I want to talk to you about a somewhat new topic, and that’s God saying no. When we started the series I told you that wisdom is not: Knowing the future Knowing why God is or isn’t doing what he’s doing Instead: Wisdom is being able to handle trials well Wisdom is being able to navigate through the twists and turns of life. I’m convinced this is why James 1:2-5 is written the way it is: Verses 2 through 4 are the familiar verses about trials. Then verse 5 is about asking for and receiving wisdom… James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. Sometimes people draw a clean break between verses 4 and verse 5 as though there’s no relationship between them: They’ll teach on trials in verses 2 to 4. They’ll teach on wisdom in verses 5 to 8. But they won’t discuss the connection between verses 2 to 4 and verses 5 to 8. The fact is, James talks about wisdom in verse 5 because we need wisdom during trials. One of the unique trials we experience is God not answering our prayers, or at least not answering them the way we want. I don’t think it’s too much to say that when God doesn’t answer our prayers the way we want: it can be very difficult. It can cause hurt and confusion And it takes wisdom to respond well. So we are going to spend the rest of this sermon, and next week’s sermon, looking at examples in Scripture of God not answering prayers so we have the wisdom to respond well. Keep James 1:5 in mind and turn to James 4. Let’s start with Lesson 1… God might say no because (lesson 1) we’re being selfish. The book of James contains one of the most obvious reasons God might not answer our prayers. Look at verse one... James 4:1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? Think about something for a moment… Why does conflict take place? Isn’t because we are selfish people who want things, and when we don’t get them, we do sinful things to get them, such as quarrel and fight? Most of our quarrels and fights are the result of us not getting what we want! Look at verse two… James 4:2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. Notice the words desire, have, covet, and obtain. This is a verse about our selfishness and getting what we want. James 4:3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. James was talking about desires and passions and he says we are not going to get our prayers answered when we are just to have those desires and passions satisfied. Do you see the parallelism between James 1:5 and James 4:3? James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 4:3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. James 1:5 is all about asking and receiving. It couldn’t be worded more encouragingly James 4:3 is the opposite. You ask but don’t receive. It’s like God wants to encourage us that when we ask the right way, for the right reasons we should be very confident that we will receive. But if we ask for the wrong reasons we should be very confident that we won’t receive. And how do we ask the wrong way? Simply put: we ask selfishly. So something important for us to consider when we pray is this: Are we asking selfishly? Are we thinking only about ourselves? Are we praying for something simply because of what we can get out of it? If the answer is yes, then we should probably be prepared not to have that prayer answered. The next lesson… God might say no because (lesson 2) it’s not His will. Go ahead and turn to John 14. Jamison referenced these verses in his sermon, so you’ll have some recent familiarity with them. Look at verse 13... John 14:13 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. These are fairly notorious verses when it comes to praying, because it sounds like we can get whatever we want as long as we ask in Jesus’ name. When I pray, at the end of my prayer, I will often say, “In Jesus’s name.” I do this because I want people to know I’m a Christian, and I am praying to the God of the Bible. But to be honest with you, I’m not convinced that when Jesus said these words that he meant for us to say, “In Jesus’s name,” at the end of our prayers. Why is that? Because I’m not convinced that Jesus meant this as literally as they sound. It is this literal interpretation that has led to the confusion. So if Jesus didn’t mean we should say, “In his name,” then what did he mean? He meant to pray according to his will: His name refers to His character and who he is. To pray in his name means to pray what he would pray, or pray as though we are him. Listen to these complementary verses… 1 John 5:14 This is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ASK ANYTHING ACCORDING TO HIS WILL he hears us. So if we pray according to His will then we can be confident He’ll answer. But how do we know what his will is? We do have a clue in the verse. It says that the Father may be glorified in the Son. When we pray in Jesus’s name the request must bring glory to the Father. If it doesn’t then we can probably be certain the request will not be answered. I want to share an example of God saying no that I learned about recently that encouraged me and I hope encourages you too… As you know we started using Sermon Audio to livestream our service. I subscribed to their newsletters, which are written by Steven Lee, the founder. Now let me introduce one other name… Over the years I’ve listened to a few messages from Pastor Alan Cairns. He passed away last month. Steven Lee sent out a newsletter honoring Pastor Alan. I was surprised to learn that Pastor Alan was Steven Lee’s pastor. Listen to Steven recount a time he desired something but learned that it wasn’t God's will… “Most people don't know this about me,...