When Humor Hurts: Navigating Experiencing the Same Situation Differently

Why do the same moments bring one person joy and another person pain? And how can we stop letting those differences destroy our relationships?

In this powerful episode, Glenn, Phyllis, and Tera unpack a transformative truth: we all enter the same situations with completely different backstories, and those differences create conflict faster than anything else—especially during the holidays.

Tera shares a vulnerable story about feeling hurt by Glenn's teasing, only to discover they have polar opposite beliefs about what jokes mean. Glenn grew up believing you only joke about things that aren't true, while Tera learned that every joke contains truth. Same behavior. Completely different experiences.

Glenn and Phyllis walk through real-life examples—from music preferences to days off—showing how our childhood experiences shape what brings us joy or pain today. They share practical tools for conveying your experience without attacking your partner, and how to create curiosity instead of conflict.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why the holidays amplify relational disconnection (and how to navigate family gatherings without losing yourself)
• The simple phrase that stops emotional flooding before it creates an "emotional dam"
• How one couple discovered why the husband's day off was his most dysregulated day of the week
• Why saying "I felt hurt" is completely different than "that hurt me"
• The secret to making space for both people's experiences without anyone being "wrong"
• How to recognize when you're losing your identity and what to do about it

Featured Story: A client discovers his day off triggers fear because he doesn't know his worth outside of work—and the powerful moment when he finds himself through the Core Emotion Wheel.

This episode will transform how you approach conflict, whether it's with your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, or your extended family. Because the goal isn't to change what you like or agree on everything—it's to see each other.

Resources mentioned:

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Programs referenced:

• Clarity Reset (for identity work and emotion processing): https://www.connectioncodes.co/clarity-reset
• Foundations Masterclass: https://www.connectioncodes.co/foundations
• Late Night Program: https://www.connectioncodes.co/late-night