Why Love Went Missing In Church

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What if the loudest Christian voices were not the angriest, but the most loving? That is where today’s conversation begins. We slow down and examine how communities drift from grace into performance, from compassion into control, and how that subtle shift can erode what we are trying to convey to the world. Jesus said people would know us by our love. If that is true, the way forward will not come from stronger platforms but from softer hearts.

We talk about grace as the frame that holds everything together. Take grace away, and truth turns sharp, correction becomes control, and faith shrinks into fear. Real love costs something. It means forgiving people who hurt us. It means serving when nobody notices. It means choosing a gentle word when everything in you wants to fire back. That is not weakness. That is the strength of Jesus, who washed the feet of Judas and chose a cross instead of comfort. Power without grace feeds pride. Power shaped by grace becomes service.
We also name the quiet killer that ruins love from the inside out.

 Unforgiveness. It ties us to old wounds, drains joy from our calling, and splinters unity. Forgiveness does not excuse the harm. It frees us so the Spirit can soften what bitterness has hardened. From there, we offer a simple path. Start small. Start with the truth about your own heart. Admit where love has cooled. Have the honest conversation with gentleness. Build relationships and ministries where kindness matters as much as competence, and mercy stands beside talent. If the church chose that way of living, people would see the goodness of God long before they heard us explain it.

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In this episode, we ask why so many Christian leaders can sound less loving than the Jesus they preach. We trace how grace gets pushed aside by being right, by control, by performance. We outline a practical way forward through abiding, forgiveness, servant leadership, and small, honest steps that gradually rebuild a culture of love.

Topics we touch:

• The disconnect between Christian witness and love
•  How being right replaces grace
•  Grace as the frame that keeps truth from turning sharp
•  Servant leadership shaped by Jesus with a towel
•  Unforgiveness and how it fractures unity
•  Practical steps toward a culture healed by love
•  Imagining a church known for kindness instead of volume

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