Why Self Trust May Be The Missing Ingredient To Scaling

Hello and welcome to the inner game of Entrepreneurship Podcast. I'm your host Sarah and I'm dropping this episode on an unusual day. We're a little off-kilter.

Last week's episode came out on Friday because that was the day of the first day of airy season. This week's episode is coming out on Friday because I am talking to you about some of the work that is going into my brand new program, the self-trust protocol and the doors for this program close on Sunday, March 29th.

So if you're not on my email list and you're not on my Instagram and you haven't heard about this program, I wanted to give you an opportunity to learn a little bit about it and to get in before the doors close.

The program officially starts on April 1st. It's a 30 day program in this episode. I'm going to tell you all about it. But what's more important is that I want you to get in early because there are some short audio trainings and workbooks inside that I would love for you to do before we start as a group.

On April 1st, so I wanted to give you time to hear all about this here a little bit about what was going on as I was starting to think about creating this program, who it is for and any other questions that you have can be answered by going to intuitive edge coaching.com slash self trust and the link will be in the show notes.

So thank you for bearing with us after this coming week. We'll go back to dropping episodes on Mondays. In case you're really somebody who's into that sort of thing and you anxiously wake up on Monday looking for an episode. And if you do, I love that for us. Thank you. I'm really glad that you're here. All right, without further ado, enjoy that episode.

My pattern used to be that I would never dream of not showing up for commitments that I made to other people.

So I would never not show up for commitments that I make to other people. I will always show up for my clients. I will always show up for my students. I will always do my marketing. I'll always show up to post. I'll always write my emails. I will always make it to my meetings.

I will always pay my team. I will always be there for my friends. I will always do what needs to be done when someone else is counting on me when there's going to be other people there who benefit or who will be out if I don't do what I said I would do.

But when I would make commitments that were just for myself and to myself, where only I will benefit and only I will incur consequences if the thing doesn't happen, those I would drop just over and over and over again.

Even and sometimes especially if they were things that I really wanted to do, things I enjoy doing, things I love doing while I'm doing them and I feel great after I've done them, I will still not show up for those things. I will still abandon them.

And for a long time, I thought that that was not really a problem and that I didn't even necessarily have a self trust problem or a leadership problem or a self leadership problem because I was showing up quote unquote where it counts.

I show up on my calls, I show up on my meetings, I show up for everyone else, so I show up quote unquote where it counts.

And you can get pretty far in a business on always showing up for other people like you can get to six figures, ask me how I know.

But it turns out the brain does not build trust in categories.

So all this time that I was making commitments to myself promises to myself that I was going to do things for myself and not keeping those promises all of the time that I was committing to things for myself and not following through while following through for others, the message underneath I was giving myself my whole life is I don't count.

I don't matter, I will always show up for people, but I'm not people.

I'm not worth showing up for, I'm not worth making time for, I'm not worth protecting, I'm not worth holding boundaries around the things that are sacred to me, the things that are really important to me don't get prioritized, don't get protected, I don't get prioritized, I don't get protected, I don't matter.

I don't matter, everybody else matters, I don't matter, everyone else's things matter, everyone else's deliverables matter, everybody else's results matter, mind don't.

That is a long history of self betrayal, that is a long, long entrenched habit of self betrayal.

And as a result, deep down, I did not trust myself to have my own back.

I didn't trust myself to have my own back when things got hard.

I couldn't trust that I would show up for myself when it mattered most.

I couldn't trust that if my business scaled and I had 10x more responsibility that I would actually take care of myself, that I would protect my own piece, that I would keep my commitments to things like movement and sleep and feeding myself and taking days off and saying no to things that drained me and saying no to wrong fit clients.

I couldn't trust that I would protect the things that were important to me, so scaling would be too risky.

I could be sure that I would show up for others but not for me.

So if there's more others, that's a higher risk that I will burn out if I play a bigger game, that there will be no space left for me at all.

And as a result, my saboteur, which is a protective archetype that tries to keep us safe by preventing us from risking vulnerability, my saboteur would give me procrastination, second guessing, self doubt, perfectionism, constantly changing my mind and my business on things that would allow me to scale.

In other words, my subconscious strategy was to do anything to prevent me from taking the actions that would lead to scaling my business, the actions that would lead to those consequences that were so scary for the part of me that was like, you cannot be trusted to handle more people wanting things from you.

So I would think I was struggling with procrastination, I would think I was struggling with perfectionism, I would think I was struggling with self doubt, but I was never struggling with those things, those things were a symptom that were trying to alert me to the fact that part of me was afraid of what would happen if I was successful.

If I couldn't trust myself to manage that level of responsibility, I had to prevent it from coming. If I couldn't trust myself not to self abandon when my work got more demanding, I couldn't let my work get more demanding.

I couldn't trust myself to protect my own boundaries when more people wanted things from me, so I couldn't create a situation in which more people wanted things from me.

This is why I always say that everything we do makes perfect sense, and that we're always running two strategies, we're running a business strategy and we're running a subconscious safety strategy.

And if those two things aren't in alignment, your subconscious safety strategy is going to win every single time.

I was never a flaky procrastinator who couldn't make a decision and was obsessed over whether or not my work was good enough.

I was a very smart person trying to protect myself from burnout.

And once I was able to see that, I could start working on the right things, and then I was able to prove to myself that I could be counted on by me by starting to learn how to prioritize the commitments I made to myself and why that was so important.

And it was never about making sure that I made it to yoga or making sure that I got off social media at night or making sure that I honored my day off.

It was never about those things.

It was about showing myself that I could count on me to have my own back.

And once I proved to myself that I could by doing new behaviors, then scaling stopped feeling like a threat.

I was able to start taking the actions that could lead to real results in my business without spiraling or dropping the ball.

And then I was like, oh, I was never, the procrastination was never it. That was never the issue.

Ta-da.

If you are relating to this, I want you to know that this is the work that my new program, the self-trust protocol is built on.

So I want to break down a little bit how the program works.

Before we start on April 1st, you're going to pick one commitment.

And I want you to pick something you've promised to yourself in the past, but you always drop it when life gets hectic, when things get busy.

And it doesn't matter as we've discussed, if this is a business thing or a life thing because your brain does not build self trust in categories.

The thing that's more important to me is that it's something that has always alluded to you, but you keep trying to do it.

You keep coming back to it because that's going to be the one where you have the biggest stickiest history of it hasn't worked in the past.

And that's the one we're going to clean up.

So right when you get in, which I want you to do today, go to intuitive edge coaching.com slash self trust, get in early.

The second you get in, you're going to go to the audio trainings. There's 13 short audio trainings and workbooks that go with them.

They're 7 to 20 minutes max. They are not long.

You're going to listen to them.

In those audio trainings, you're going to come to understand exactly why you haven't been able to stick to this thing in the past.

There is a reason. There's a missing problem underneath the problem that you haven't been able to see before.

So you've never been focused on fixing the right thing. You don't have a discipline problem. It's not motivation.

You don't have a behavioral issue. You're not flaky. It's not any of that stuff.

There is a reason that your behavior makes perfect sense.

So once you're able to see it, you're going to be able to focus on fixing the right thing, the thing underneath the behavior, the thing underneath the thing you can see.

You're going to shift your understanding of discipline entirely.

You don't need it. You don't need it at all.

And you're going to account for how your unique brain works, especially if you are narrow squiggly or easily bored.

You will know and name the subconscious, quote-unquote, self-sabotage patterns that are currently trying to keep you safe by preventing you from doing next level shit.

You are going to have a completely new understanding of yourself and a new set of tools to practice before the group even starts officially.

And then during the 30 days of April, with the help of Ari's energy and the grace of God, you're going to practice doing that thing every day.

Now, I want to be clear. The doing the thing every day is not the goal of the program.

The doing the thing every day is how we're going to create the conditions for you to be able to practice new behavior.

So in order for us to clear the block, the pattern, the resistance, we have to elicit the conditions under which that thing pops up.

So it's not just like this is a 30 day challenge. You are going to do this thing for 30 days, but the reason you're doing it is not some binary pass fail of you succeeded at doing it for 30 days or you didn't.

It's not that resistance is not going to come up. I'm trying to create the situation under which you would normally quit on purpose.

I want that to happen so that we can coach you through it so that you can break the pattern and see yourself taking a new behavior this time so that we can actually pressure test it and see if the change sticks.

So that's why you're going to do a thing for 30 days that has historically been really hard for you to stick to.

We're going to elicit the conditions under which you would usually quit.

The commitment is the container that's going to surface your old pattern so that we can fix it in real time.

I want your resistance to show up. I want you to have a day where you don't feel like it and you're too tired and your kids are going crazy and life is too hectic and you get unexpected bad news like I want that to happen.

So when it happens you're going to bring it to me you're going to bring it to the trainings you're going to bring it to the live coaching calls or you're going to bring it to our telegram group.

That's where the work happens the work is not happening when you're like having an easy day and you're doing the thing and everything is going great.

The work is going to happen on the day that you're like today is the day this is it this is the part where I would normally abandon and today I'm not going to today I'm going to do something even an inch different.

So inside the trainings the audio trainings in the journaling you're going to use neuroscience backed journaling frameworks that are going to require the subconscious patterns that create your self doubt that create the pattern where you usually lack follow through.

These are not like motivational pep talks it's not all mindset it is targeted behavioral change tools that shift how your brain processes and understands the way you relate to your commitments.

And then inside the live coaching calls I'm bringing my full toolkit so we'll be using NLP will be using EFT will be using somatic work we're going to be clearing the blocks that you have to trusting yourself on a mind body nervous system level.

These like clearing this stuff y'all does not have to take years of therapy I did so much talk therapy on some of these things and could not crack them and these tools were the things that allowed me to shift them immediately but not only that it was the tools that gave me the confidence that I could self coach in the future because I had a much more realistic understanding that I'm still going to experience resistance.

I will always experience resistance I also have ADHD I also have a little bit of pathological demand of weightens I also just want to like lay on a rock with my tits out like for sure I experience resistance I'm never going to become a magical different person who never has days that I don't want.

That's never going to happen and I stopped waiting for that and instead I learned how to effectively coach myself in moments of my own resistance.

And to negotiate with myself not in a way that constantly let me off the hook for doing what I said I would do but for creating more realistic ways of approaching my commitments on the hardest days versus only showing up on the best days and I made things that worked for my real life that's the stuff that really allowed change to stick.

Much more grace much more compassion much more realistic thinking about myself and how my life works and that's what you're going to get.

Inside the telegram you're going to be able to ask me directly for coaching and talk to your peers you're also going to be able to connect with body doubles people that you can co-work with accountability buddies if you would like that for your 31 day or for your 30 days of commitment.

So when your safety strategy kicks in and tries to override your business strategy in between calls or you notice yourself really fighting with yourself in between coaching calls you can take it straight to the telegram and you can send me a voice note in real time.

You will not be alone when the pattern surfaces you will be supported while we take that pattern apart so that you can start making new choices.

By the end you're going to have 30 days of practice and coaching yourself into new behaviors.

There's not any determination white knuckling discipline motivation required you will have cleared the blocks that used to make you quit.

You will have practice at leading yourself effectively through your challenging moments and showing yourself that you can trust yourself to do what you said you would do.

No matter what life is throwing at you and that person the version of you that can trust yourself to do what you said you would do to show up to coach yourself through challenges no matter what's going on in your life.

That person can handle your company into next scale that person trusts you to lead the next level of your growth.

That's the person that we are chasing down tackling devouring and becoming in April.

So the doors for the self trust protocol are open right now.

They close on Sunday at midnight the 29th but I want you to get in now so that you can binge the trainings and do the workbooks before the month starts.

The program is $300 and I would so comfortably add a zero to that price tag.

This is the bait around it will never be this cheap again.

There are payment plans available at the checkout if you need them.

Go to IntuitiveEdgeCoaching.com slash self trust.

I also want you to know this program is not going to take a ton of time.

If you're crazy busy and you're already in another coaching program and you're doing a bunch of stuff that's totally fine.

You're going to do your commitment whatever that thing is.

The trainings, like I said, there are 13 of them. They are 7 to 20 minutes.

You could binge them all in a day. You could binge them in less than a day.

You might want to take a couple so you can do the journaling.

But it's not going to take a long time to get through the audio parts that you're going to listen to.

And you can come to as much or as little as you need.

So if you are really struggling and you want to come to a live coaching call and get hot seat coaching, come.

If you feel like you don't need it that week and you're doing good, you don't have to come.

This is designed for busy entrepreneurs who are already running a business and living a life.

So I totally get it.

The goal is not to add a bunch of unrealistic work to your plate.

The goal is to give you something so bite sized and so manageable.

But that creates a level of result that you are going to be blown away by.

An opportunity for you to be so impressed with yourself with what you're able to accomplish in such a short period of time.

A totally new self concept even in an area where you have a lifelong history of not being able to change this one thing.

Because the level of pride you're going to feel about shifting that is going to be such a big win, such a big catapult into your next level that it will feel like a quantum leap.

That's what I have for you today.

Okay, love you, bye.

That's our episode for today.

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to this.

I know there are so many things that you could be doing with your day.

So many things you could be listening to and it means so much that you are here in this community.

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Thank you so much for being here.

K love you, bye.

Thank you so much.