Wine Drunk In The Bathroom, Impolite Translations, A Gigantic Crackhouse Of Permeating Despair

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Hello everybody, welcome back to your stupid opinions!

Hey!

Thank you so much for joining us today.

You did it.

You made it back just like we did, which, you know, you never know.

You can end up in a Walmart and flint, and then you never make it back after that.

Anything's possible, everybody, as we've talked about here.

Anything is possible.

My name is James Petrigallo.

I'm here with my co-host.

No, I'm Jimmy Wiseman.

We are going to hear more from people we do not care about, about places we certainly

don't want to be.

So it's going to be so fun.

Places will probably never go, but really fun to hear about them.

I just like hearing people complain.

It's just so much fun.

As we've always said, these reviews are always more about the reviewer than what's being

reviewed.

That's great.

That's a real love language.

It really is.

Head over to shutup and give me murder.com for all your merchandise and fun stuff like

that.

Check out the other two shows we do crime in sports in small town murder, which are exactly

what they sound like, except very funny.

So let's dive right back in here before we, without any further ado.

We're going back to flint, and we're going to go back to Walmart and see what's going

on.

So in Walmart, things weren't going well for people.

They were starting to complain.

Apparently, you definitely don't want to buy a phone from this place is what I've heard

fraud.

Yeah.

And someone was very upset that every person who shops there doesn't have a personal

shopper, which is, I don't know, where they thought they were shopping.

But this is my phone bill just keeps getting extra charges, extra charges.

The personal shopper thing I just kept picturing like pretty woman, like Julia Roberts

in there.

They're like, no, we don't do that.

And she comes back with a bunch of money and they're like, we still don't do that because

it's his Walmart.

This isn't Beverly Hills.

Big mistake.

I'm going to target.

Yeah.

Big mistake.

Doesn't matter anyway.

Yeah.

You can come right in off the streets on Walmart.

They're not going to be happy to have you.

I don't care.

So let's find out what Lori thinks of Walmart.

Here it is.

One star.

If I could give this pharmacy zero stars, I would.

Hey.

She did it.

Lori.

Okay.

Let's say from now on out, I'm okay with it.

And I agree with you.

We're not going to disagree with you at all.

The pharmacy.

The blindly agree.

But blindly agree.

I don't care.

Yeah.

At this point, that's all I need.

If you say the opening right, you know what, I'm on your side.

Let's find out what we're what we're signing up for.

There's some sanity.

Here we go.

Well, let's find out.

The pharmacist refused to fill a prescription from my 100% licensed primary care doctor

who I have seen for 20 years because it was for pain medication.

All right.

The guy said, you don't get those at Walmart.

Not here, not from that guy.

No, he said, yeah, I'm not going to give you these for some reason.

I know that guy.

That's dick.

That guy, he'll give a prescription to anybody.

Six-year-old kid walked in here with an oxy cotton prescription.

We can't fill that shit.

Yeah.

So yeah, so right away, what are we thinking?

Are we thinking, this is just, we all have the same thought here, correct?

Yeah.

Is she doctor shopping?

Yeah.

Yeah.

At the same time, who the fuckers is a Walmart pharmacist to tell a doctor?

No.

Yeah.

Do a doctor's worst, because they fuck Walmart because they used to like in the 90s,

they pulled like the morning after pill they wouldn't sell at their pharmacy.

They probably, I don't know if they do still do that bullshit, but they pulled some like,

oh, we have some, you know, moral shit where it's like you fuck you.

It wasn't the, are you for you?

Six is the morning after pill, which isn't even any, that's just birth control pills

that you think they after, it's stupid, not, that pill's not stupid, but they're stupid

for not wanting to fucking sell it.

So I don't know what their policy is.

And it's like $30, that eclipse, that like you're making money hand over fist, I'd be

slaying those two people that didn't even fuck.

Yeah, hey, you never know.

She goes swimming last night, you never know.

Yeah, that pool, I don't know what's in there, you know, it's anything's possible.

So anyway, that's what they said here.

And I am currently being treated for breaking my ankle in three places, whoa, with surgery

and my whole ankle has metal holding it together and I, it's all caps, the end.

And I just broke my other leg five days ago and need surgery also.

Bitch, you need milk, you need a lot of shit, you need, your bones are falling apart.

Yeah, you need to go to a doctor for osteoporosis at this point, like what the fuck is your

problem?

You need some yogurt that's got some additives in it, add it, what is it, supplements

I guess?

Supplements, does this person, are they breaking their bones on purpose to get pain pills?

Is that what we're talking about?

Yeah, that's a crazy life you live like, just run it over, they're like, I'm not running

home.

Just run my goddamn leg over, just run it over.

I like it.

I like it.

You better Walmart, everyone who takes pain meds are not all junkies with six medications,

with six medications, six explanations.

Six medications, yeah.

Can you believe it's addicted to them, our junkies?

And you can be injured and want pain meds too with the stuff, like you can be like the

person who's like, cool, I'm hurt now, I get pain meds again, also, but I don't know.

And a heroin addict can also get injured.

Yeah, I don't know, I don't know, enough about the world of pill, like doctor shopping

and how all that works and what a pharmacist like ethical role is and I have no idea what

that is.

I'm not a pharmacist, so I have no clue.

I know that you can get prescription drugs too, they're gross.

Yeah, I know you can get in a lot of trouble as a pharmacist, just by willy-nilly filling

shit that you got, but I don't know if I'm a pharmacist, I'll be like, I don't know,

they brought me a fucking prescription.

I feel I'm going to say if you call the doctor, they say, yeah, that's a real prescription.

What are you supposed to do at that point?

Are you supposed to call every fucking doctor?

Yeah, you haven't treated this patient.

You don't know what they're out at the same time.

There are unscrupulous doctors and how much of that is the pharmacist's job to figure

that out?

I don't know, that's what I mean.

That's not my world.

Not positive.

One doctor that gave the guy from friends, his shit said, how much money can we make

off this idiot?

Yeah.

That's what I mean.

Michael Jackson's doctor was certainly, I don't think, being very reputable.

That was, he was legitimately doing it himself for Christ's sake.

Come over here.

Mike and he's injecting him.

So there has to be, you know, I don't know, I don't know where the line is there.

Let's go to row one star.

Definitely unfriendly store.

Doesn't look good.

Odd sense.

Employees, horse, horse planning, I guess that would be their horse planning, which is

like man's planning.

But when you do it from the perspective of a horse, you just go, horse or a horse, horse

planning, horse, P L A I N G, horse, horse, horse plan, horse playing, I think they're

missing a Y in there, of course, but horse playing is very, yeah, interesting there.

They're horse playing around, horse playing around, very confusing shelves.

The highest part, you have very good, it gets better.

Do they lean?

It's very confusing.

I don't know, it's just like there's like a lawn mower and a box of cocoa puffs on the

same shelf, I think it's just really, no, it's, they're not wonky and like everything slides

to the, no, it's just like Doritos and spray paint are together for, it's like, I don't

know why that is.

Fry lawn, get yourself some trisket with like tires next to them, it's real strange.

So the highest part, colon, yeah, I don't know what they're talking.

The highest part, colon, the rest room in the back of the store with only one light

on, somewhere is a hidden switch dot, dot, dot.

If you know where it is, dot, dot, dot, yes, okay, so apparently high atop a mountain,

the highest part, high atop a mountain, there's a bathroom lit by a single bulb.

And if you, there is a switch though for the rest of the lights, but it's secret and

you have to know where it is, the store is saving money on electricity at the restroom,

at the restroom, at the restroom, that's where we're going to, it's we're going to cut

our costs, just make sure they can't find the switch, just hide that switch, hide the,

what are you putting the light switch out in the open?

This is crazy.

Next thing you know, you're going to let them flush it on their own.

We got to find the switch, they're just going to leave it on, they're going to keep

turning it on.

This is crazy.

What are we doing?

We're going to find a condo on the star.

They people just stand around and look at you like you're stupid.

They people, they people, that's right, they people, they think they people.

I asked him to do you work here.

I asked him do you work here?

Wow, I asked, this is so good music.

I asked him do you work here?

She said yes.

Oh, that was a fun job.

It's I saw that ahead as you read ahead when you're reading and I'm like, wait a second,

did I read this?

That's why I started over because I'm like, I must have read that wrong.

No, that's, that's what the set and says.

Is there two people and like she asked the guy, do you work here and a lady poked her

head around the corgos?

Yes.

She jumped in and said, no, he doesn't, I don't know.

I asked him, do you work here?

She said yes, I can you, wow.

She said yes, I said, can you help me?

She said no because I don't know where nothing just walked off.

I don't know where nothing.

By the way, there's no punctuation in that at all because people know sometimes on your

stupid opinions, man, you, it's like you can't read and it's like no, it's like these

sentences don't make sense and they're not written by humans and they're no, you, your

brain doesn't work like this.

Like it has a certain syntax that like we all speak in as human beings and especially

you mind tries to follow a sentence and create it while you're reading it.

Yeah.

Mine, whatever.

But the lack of punctuation is like, I don't know where anything starts or ends or

I can.

I have a difficult enough time when it's written by fucking authors.

Yeah.

Like what?

It's written by Stephen King, I have a tough enough time.

This is crazy.

Oh, Christ, there's no goddamn punctuation.

There's a couple of periods in there.

All right, here we go.

Hannah one star, just a four warning for anyone shopping here.

There's a woman walking around with her child who will fill up her cart with food and beg

people to buy her food for her, her son, her fake, unborn child in parentheses.

She is wearing a fake bump.

She's seen through the, through the scam.

This lady, I just see Hannah walked up to this lady and she was like, yeah, you want me

to pay for your groceries and then just uppercut it or in the fucking gut and the whole thing

collapsed.

And she's like, that's right, bitch.

It's phony.

I knew it.

I knew it.

You got to be pretty sure about that.

You got to be pretty sure about that.

You got to be a hundred percent positive before you go kicking a woman in the belly.

So yes, she is wearing a fake bump.

She will corner you in the aisle.

I saw an older woman give her some money and she left the cart.

Do not give this woman money.

She looks to be Mexican.

All right.

Long brown hair with a son around the age of two or three.

I'm unsure why she's cornering people in aisles and not letting them move.

Do not leave your kids unattended for one second here.

So she's asking for money or maybe she'll steal your child either way.

She's just trafficking children.

Yeah, sure that kid didn't belong to her.

She picked that kid up at a at a Walmart on the other side of town.

But she needs money for the air truck air flights to trap them.

Yeah, to clearly.

That's what it is.

Yeah.

So that is an interesting thing, though, that fake bump.

Yeah.

If I see a lady dragging a kid around, I'm certainly going to buy her something.

You know what I mean?

For sure.

I bought a lady.

Yeah.

She didn't want me to.

She just wanted cash like this.

Yeah.

Imagine she was going to walk out and go do whatever she wanted with that money.

But I grabbed her three rotisserie chickens and walked her ass to the front counter.

Yeah.

Yeah, I do that.

I do that a bit myself.

And then she grabbed a car full of shit and I was like, ah, ah, you can have the chickens.

These chickens should last.

This is sustenance.

No, yeah, people are always like, why do you do that?

And say, well, why not?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Because if I don't, I'm going to feel like I let a child starve.

Yeah.

I feel like an asshole and I feel the same thing.

Same thing with, um, yeah, homeless people who especially that are like over the age of

50.

I'm like, uh, Jesus, I feel like shit.

I'm not over 50, but I feel like shit as it is now when I have a house.

So you must feel awful.

I'm trying to buy this lady food.

She goes, I have five people at home and I was like, well, tell them to get out and walk

around too.

Yeah.

I'm buying it for people I see.

I can count to three chickens.

This should be good too for five people.

I think that's not a feed your whole family.

I don't have to do everything for right now.

Cerece, one star, don't ever in your life accuse me of lying about a price that you

have posted on the shelf.

Yeah.

In your life.

In your life, especially considering how much trouble you guys are currently in accusing

that man of stealing that man who knows that man, okay.

All that bean bag built worker of yours had to do bean bag built worker, built like

a bean bag.

Are you fat?

I think that's a, I think that's a, that's a fat shaming.

That's a coded fat guy.

I think that's somebody who's shit just hangs like a bean bag.

Maybe they're fake pregnant.

You don't know.

Go check and see if the bump is real.

All that bean bag built worker of yours had to do was ask someone to go check.

She told me she was too busy.

It was two of them monitoring self checkout, standing by the door and taking count and talking

and countless employees stocking the shelves.

I hope that young man sews the pants off of you all.

So apparently this isn't even her.

This is, she saw a young man get accused of stealing and there might have been a price

check problem for her, but she's not real clear.

She's not having it.

She's not having it.

She was too angry to post that.

She needed to wait like 15 minutes to take a deep breath and then tell us succinctly

what the hell you're talking about because I don't know what happened there.

All right, B.C.

One star.

So tell me why I was going about my business and shopping when another customer comes

to me and let me tell you I have no idea who this other customer is by the way tells

me no punctuation in this at all, by the way.

That is a crazy amount of words that are all being used and correct.

You need so many commas in there to understand what the fuck is happening and periods for

crimes.

Periods commas.

Okay.

Shopping when another customer comes to me and let me tell you I have no idea who this

other customer is by the way tells me that I'm being followed and watch and there and

there and watch and watch.

And now there's a question marks and explanations are very upset about this.

I'm like, okay, thanks for looking out.

So tell me why Walmart and loss prevention is following and watching me like I'm not

a thief nor was I stealing or trying to do anything that is against the law or trying

to do anything like that.

Why am I being followed or watched?

I don't steal nor do I do anything that's against the law or a law breaker.

I pay taxes like everyone else and I'm a law abiding citizen three exclamation points.

Thank you very much.

Wow.

Okay.

A bar one star.

Little shorter.

Yeah.

Clerks are lazy and rest room is filthy.

There we go.

That about gets to the heart of the matter.

There we go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's why the rest room is filthy.

Because the employees are lazy.

You just nailed it.

Yeah.

I think yeah, people are letting their kids like shit all over the place in there.

Nobody cares about a Walmart bathroom or a Walmart really really well put together, right?

And if it's not lit properly, how are you supposed to figure out what you're doing anyway?

So yeah, if you have to search for the secret light switch, Marsha one star.

I found keys in the bathroom here last week and tried to give them to an employee.

I was rudely told to go wait in a line at customer service.

So I did for literally 25 minutes.

Okay.

I'm throwing the keys back on the floor at that point.

This is not my problem.

I'll go hand him to somebody, but I'm not waiting on a line for a person who's not even

there.

I don't even know who the fuck this is.

Yeah.

No way.

And the customer service got rude with me for not handing them over to staff.

I then fit the one that told you to, okay.

I then found the woman who lost her keys and directed her to customer service.

She pointed out the same employee I told the keys about.

And she said she asked her if she had heard anything.

Apparently the employee told her it wasn't her job to keep track of people's shit.

She said that out loud.

Apparently.

Yeah, she said, have you heard anything about anybody finding any keys?

And she said, it's not my job to keep track of other people's shit and then walk away.

It sounds like no shit, not my shit.

It's not my shit.

I have all my shit, see?

Wow, never in my life have I seen such inappropriate behavior.

The woman who lost her keys was like 85.

Who the fuck talks to the elderly like that?

Yeah, that's a little lie.

Is that my job to keep track of old people's shit?

Yeah, do you even know where you are, grandma?

You just push her in another direction and fucking like a duckling.

Just in that and she just goes, oh, he's shit.

That is amazing.

Ernie one star.

I'll drive to the Burton location if I have to go to Walmart.

This location is an outright joke.

Filthy rarely have most items.

The door clerks are a joke as well.

I mean, there's a joke here to this guy.

Must be a real clown, real comedian this guy.

He's getting material out of everything.

What the fuck?

They think they can stop you and look at your receipt.

Even if they saw you go through a lane

with an actual cashier checking you out,

whatever they did try to stop me at the door,

I laugh at them and keep walking.

That's good.

That's what you should do.

You laugh at them.

You laugh at them and there you go.

And you crumple it up and put it in your pocket.

You're not seeing this shit.

Tackle me old man.

None of your business.

None of your business.

Jackie one star.

Check out was bad.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

I decided she needed to talk with customers

on non-related stuff.

Uh, yeah.

That's what they do.

Conversation of all human beings.

It is just swipe.

Swipe.

Swipe.

And people get mad when they don't talk.

That's the thing.

Yeah, we won't even fucking talk to you.

So what do you want?

Look at me.

Yeah, I get the ones that hold up the line talking.

That's annoying, but those are rare, Jesus Christ.

Then had to call manager for lady who didn't have an ID

and sold it to her.

I guess without an ID.

Then had to talk with other clerk who wanted sigs.

But I talked, but talked sounded like she didn't want

to give him sigs.

This is, this is the words they're saying

that they're typing out and putting into the world.

But talked like, but talked sounded like she didn't want

to give him sigs.

The second lady wanted to get cash back and was telling lady

to look for something cheap to buy.

Then the transaction didn't go through.

So had to explain to her how to get pin.

Then she started talking to first lady again.

Oh, that's the whole review.

I don't know.

There was some hold up at the checkout line.

They narrated everything she saw and none of it,

none of it mattered.

You know what that sounded like, a five year old.

Yeah.

They were talking to a five year old.

That's what they sound like.

Clerk was bad.

Clerk decided she needed to talk to customers on non related

stuff.

They had to call manager for lady who didn't have ID

and sold it to her and then talk with other lady who wanted

sigs.

But talk with sounded like she didn't want to give him sigs.

And the second lady wanted to get cash back.

It was telling lady to look for something cheap to buy

and then go through.

So she had to explain she started talking to the first lady

again.

What happened?

Huh?

That's what it's a five year old.

What?

So she talked to the first lady again.

I have to poop.

That's, that's a five year old.

Like, that's what sounds like.

Are there Oreo?

Yeah.

This is ridiculous.

Mercedes one star.

The workers were nice.

The lines were long.

The store is a mess and they need to amp up their security.

Definitely want to feel safe while shopping.

And that is not the feeling you get here.

OK.

Oh, as I was walking in, there were three young men.

One had a gun showing his friend.

He got an on a amigo and was knocking stuff down in the aisles

by running into them and they were loudly talking

so disrespectfully.

So a man carrying a gun jumped in one of those little hearts

and just started hitting shit, started flying down the aisles

and going like, like knocking all the shit off the shelves.

I like that.

We called it an amigo.

An amigo.

I don't know what that was going to ask you

what the fuck an amigo is, but the only,

it has to be one of those old person carts.

It has to be.

Yeah.

I will say this.

That sounds like a lot of fun.

Yeah.

You're going to a Walmart armed and hop in one of those carts

and knock all the shit off the shelves.

That sounds like a blast.

Especially if they don't throw you out,

they just let you keep doing it.

That sounds great.

That sounds like when you're a kid and you see Tom Hanks

and big fucking bouncing around twice a rust.

And you're like, yeah, that's what this is for adults.

Yeah.

That sounds amazing.

Don't tell one of the babies that when they grab those bounce

balls, that's what I was thinking about.

Not big of a bounce balls.

Yes, totally.

Yeah.

Her and the clown dog.

Yeah.

Clown dog and her got kicked out.

They got kicked the fuck out for that.

Like Christina Applegate in 1991 was getting kicked out

for anything.

And you got damn toys are us.

Are you kidding me?

Please.

Jesus Christ, I'm not kicking Kelly Bundy out of the store.

No.

They're especially for bouncing her fucking pussy on something.

They'd be like, what would you like to put your pussy

on more things?

Would you like to wear that low-cut shirt

and let your boobs bounce all over the place in here?

It sounds great.

We have no problem with this.

We're taking clown dog outside and beating the shit out

of him throwing it back in his truck, but you can stay.

That's what they'd say.

We have lost prevention zoomed in on your chest.

Yeah.

We're all watching.

We're making an employee training man.

So this is okay.

See this?

This is a guess.

Think of Prince Circle around it.

They show a guy on it and it's the big red X through it.

No, that's a no.

What was the one where the girl and the guy got locked

in Target at night and she was a career opportunity

as Jennifer Connelly and she's on that fucking career

opportunity.

Yes.

Oh my God.

Yeah, yeah.

That was a big one for kids our age growing up for our master

batary development.

That was wonderful.

Jennifer Connelly, I think being remembered

as being so goddamn amazing because she was in a lot of shit

in the 90s.

She was not shit.

Did she marry somebody fucking famous too?

Did she, what's her name?

Paul Bettany is who she married.

Phoebe Cates it.

Yeah.

I don't know who Paul Bettany is.

It seems like he probably is doing well.

I would hope so.

Yeah.

Even if she wasn't famous, that would help you somebody.

He did all of her twist and Julia Caesar

and Royal Shakespeare company.

I hope he's doing very well.

Yeah, hopefully.

He's artsy either way it sounds like.

Yeah.

That's crazy that she likes artsy shit, huh?

Yeah.

No fucking coin off fucking horse for all of us to go.

I'll talk to that later for Frank Welley for Christ's sake.

Yeah.

Come on, man.

I seen employees walk by and say nothing.

This place is great.

You know what?

Five stars for this Walmart.

You're going to have fun in here.

I work retail and that is not how you handle these situations.

If your store has no standards

then the customers won't have standards either.

Kind of disappointing.

It's your disappointed in Walmart though.

Have you ever been in a Walmart and been like,

oh, well, Walmart's really gone downhill.

I've only been pleasantly surprised in a Walmart.

That's the thing.

When something's going well, you're like,

wow, really a Walmart too.

This looks nice and look bad.

I'm shocking.

Walmart has a specific smell too.

And I hate it.

Oh, yeah.

It's like whatever that smell is.

It's tires and cardboard.

And fucking and least clothing.

It's also like so bad.

Yeah, artificial fabrics.

There's all mixed together in a popery

of desperation and sadness.

Target smells decent.

And then they've got the popcorn undertones.

And I like it.

Yeah, for some reason they have a bunch of food in Walmart

and you can't smell any of it.

They have mixed.

Not of it in Subway going to all I smell is like rayon

mixing with the Michelin's.

It's so fucking weird.

Yeah, it's so weird.

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I don't get it.

Human gives one star.

This is the absolute last Walmart I shop at.

Oh, right.

Must have found the best one.

So she's never leaving.

She's gonna always shop here.

Perfect.

This one's wonderful.

This one's great.

Dirty, disorganized ghetto store

that has a palpable feeling of despair

that permeates everything.

Okay.

There's despair.

I have no idea how people can work here.

Those who do work here are obviously being paid by the hour

because no one hurries, regardless of how busy it is.

That's not how this is on salary.

Also, by the hour might work

if like someone was doing construction at your house,

you know, like they're dragging their asses

because they're getting paid by the hour.

No matter how little work you do,

you still leave after eight hours.

They don't let you stay an extra 14 hours

to milk the clock or anything at Walmart.

Like you have shifts and that's that.

Oh, I guess I'm over time tonight.

Yeah, I'm getting some, I'm slowing down

so I can milk a little over time.

I don't think that's how it goes.

I would not want to be in the parking lot after dark.

There's no security whatsoever other than video cameras

that may or may not work.

Oh, yeah.

Well, cameras don't make me feel that better anyway.

Just now there's a tape of me being murdered.

Great.

It was that may or may not work.

We don't even know.

No, we're guessing.

If you have options, shop elsewhere.

You do.

There's other stores in every city in the country.

Yeah, sure.

Mr. DeWolf, okay.

One star.

This store is the most poorly and inept run store.

I've ever witnessed in my life.

I was falsely accused of not scanning a block of Velvita

and had to spend over two hours in the security office

being humiliated after we had just bought $220 worth

of groceries there.

After the camera was reviewed and they re-scanned

every item in our cart.

They realized they had made a mistake

but refused to apologize or acknowledge it

despite the camera showing us scanning the Velvita

and even getting assistance from one of their quote associates.

And they acted like we were lucky.

Tried to let it go as human error.

However, yesterday I was asked not to come back to the store

by Jessica because I confronted an employee

about cutting in front of me in the checkout line.

The employee was confronted as a big word too.

There could be a lot of things to do that.

Yeah, confronted, did you shove them?

Did you go, excuse me, sir?

Yeah.

I believe I'm in line or did you say,

hey, fucking fat ass, shit back.

With boils on your face, turn around.

That's why you work at Walmart, you fucking moron

because you can't see.

Ask me how you can help me by not getting in front of me

and self-check out, that's how.

That's how you fucking piece of shit

and then just throwing random racial slurs

that weren't even applicable to the person

they were talking to, shit like that.

You never know.

It's probably upsetting anywhere you are when you're next.

Like that feeling of next is the fucking best.

You're there like, I'm about to be,

sir, wherever I am, it's my turn next.

Yeah, it's, it's all, yeah, here comes an employee.

I've waited for this, I've earned it.

Yeah, and then an employee utilizes their,

we'll call it privilege of working there

to be able to just climb and they're always next.

Yeah, it's like at the airport

when then a pilot jumps in front and it's like,

hey motherfucker, I got here early,

maybe get here early.

Dickface, maybe add an extra fucking hour and a half

to your fucking schedule.

It doesn't have to say you.

It does, it's fucking absolutely does.

Oh, I get here two hours early,

it's no fucking, he probably just parked up by the curb

and like somebody pulled it.

What do you, what do you, what do you,

things got back like a parking?

He just threw the keys to someone and said,

keep it.

Yeah, keep it, yeah, exactly like over the top

when he got to the airport.

Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

The kid from over the top, keep it, yeah.

You know what my,

well, we were coming back home this past weekend,

I had a fantasy of them like grabbing my bag

to do like extra shit with it.

And then I, if they did it,

I was, I was just gonna go,

ah, keep it.

It just was.

I don't need anybody's done that yet.

I think they probably tackle you if you do that

because it means they're gonna,

you probably have something dangerous in there

and they're gonna talk to you about it, I think.

I have a fantasy of doing that now.

Every time I see that bag like,

get to that part where the,

where the, the rollers go at the other place.

Yeah, yeah, it's off there and go, come on, take it.

Take it.

No, I'm telling you,

you do that, they're gonna tackle you

and that'll be hilarious.

When there's nothing in it and you go,

I just wanted to give you guys stuff.

That would be amazing.

I just wanted to give you my dirty underwear.

I thought you went to my dirty underwear

and the travel toothpaste tube

with maybe one more brushing's work left in it.

And I'm gonna take it back home and refill it anyway.

And not now, now it's yours.

Sell yours, but maybe you'd want that.

Okay, there's,

there's something severely wrong

with the leadership at this Walmart store.

If you want to be falsely accused of shoplifting

and have their employees cut in front of you

with the checkout line, then there's your store.

Okay, yeah.

I'll definitely just stand there online.

Every, every time you're next to another employee.

Oh my turn, yay, there he is.

I'll gladly take my business elsewhere

to a real American company who appreciates my business.

What is that?

I don't know which one that is,

but you sound like no one would want your business

because you're kind of an asshole.

We'll do one more and then we'll move on.

Okay, John, one star.

It's John Doe also, very prominent person as we all know.

One star.

This place reminds me of one gigantic crack house.

Yeah, that's nice.

Yeah, that's Walmart.

If you're white, just go elsewhere

because you aren't getting decent customer service.

Why?

I don't think it's apparently that.

Is this the only place on earth that that doesn't apply?

Yeah, he's like,

fucking, I think if you go to Walmart,

don't expect decent customer service.

I don't think colors are relevant at Walmart.

It's just all terrible.

It doesn't matter there.

You're all pieces of shit.

Yeah.

We all suck as soon as we smell

that fucking Walmart air.

We know we're in the wrong place.

And we're going to deal with it.

We've done wrong, but we want we want to we deserve this.

We deserve it.

We do, but we want to buy, you know,

two boxes of cereal for four dollars is why we're here.

Yeah, I want, I want 89 cents off the razors

that I'm going to buy rather than buying them

at the grocery store.

So I'll smell it.

You'll be paying for past injustices

that had nothing to do with you.

Why?

This Walmart store takes reparations.

The parent.

This is a, what the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah, okay.

If you don't believe me,

go inside and see for yourself.

Employees are rude and don't care about anything.

Yeah, that's a Walmart, all of them.

If you're in lane, I guess, in line,

prepare to, as it says, if you're in loan.

So I'm trying to figure out,

I think line is what they're going for.

Prepare to wait at least 10 minutes for the cashier

to finish their personal conversation

with the people in front of you

or with another employee.

Management is just as bad.

Do yourself a favor and go elsewhere.

Even if you have to pay a little more,

it's worth it to get halfway decent,

custom net service.

I can't spell custom.

Custom net.

Okay.

You don't like, that's why they put it as John Doe.

You don't like black people.

So go somewhere else.

Stop wandering around in there,

calling people Toby.

Fuck you.

Maybe that's it.

Yeah.

All right.

I'm starving after all that.

I didn't want their subway

or there's always a little off there.

So it didn't smell right.

It just doesn't smell.

I can't eat it while I'm smelling those clothes.

So let's have a nice sit down meal.

What do you say?

Yeah, we go on the road.

We like to have a go out of a nice meal.

Let's do it, man.

Let's do what I think.

What do you say?

Let's go to Jacksonville, Florida.

Where everyone goes for a nice meal.

To 10445 Atlantic Boulevard in Jacksonville, Florida.

To the Denys.

Oh my God.

I'll bet my dad ain't there.

We're going to a Jacksonville Denys, everybody.

Oh my God.

Oh, this is going to be good.

This is like Waffle House without the charm.

Is what this is.

Yeah.

Denys is just a fucking terrible place.

Waffle House, but they require shirts.

Yeah.

That's the only difference.

Okay.

Denys 3.7 stars out of 3,800 reviews, too.

This is a bad Denys, it sounds like.

It is open 24 hours, which some of the Denys close now.

It's like, no, you never close ever.

You stay open.

You unlock the door and you sit there.

You don't lock it until this business is closed up forever.

Until the boards go on the windows.

You open the doors and just stand at the door of the pot of coffee

because that's all you're there for, Denys, that's it.

Here's MJ, Michael Jordan fucking going to Denys.

Five stars.

My wife and I had breakfast here this morning

and we were very satisfied.

The food was great.

Kudos to the cook for doing such a great job.

My compliments to the chef, Denys.

Wow, our server, Ms. Sandra S was the best.

She made us feel right at home,

placed our order without writing it down

and got it totally right.

Oh, it's two people ordering.

She got two grand slams, correct.

Oh, she even remembered the moons over my hammy.

I thought I threw her a curveball with that one.

Yeah, well sweet and low.

She got it, she got it.

She checked on us regularly to make sure that we were okay.

All in all, Ms. Sandra customer service was top notch

and I also want to give her some kudos

for doing such an amazing and wonderful job.

You just did.

Yeah.

Also, the atmosphere was amazing.

It's a Jacksonville Denys.

The atmosphere was amazing.

You could just feel the energy crackling in the air

in there, boy, it was something.

The atmosphere.

Oh, god damn it.

Like it's Studio 54.

It just had a certain thing, you know, an atmosphere.

It's the real music was a perfect ball.

Oh, it was just perfect.

Oh my god, the rest of your studio for the 11th time.

Music, just the music, real calm down.

Yeah, no lyrics.

It's just, it's just the music.

They just hired a guy to hum it.

It's all it is.

It's just cheap karaoke music that's like a beat off

or just enough to make it legal.

Just enough so they don't get so it's legal.

Yeah, that's all just a little off.

Yeah, like Denys food is almost food

but it's just a little off.

Yeah, it's just a little off.

So they don't get soot for calling it food.

Yeah, well, it's FUD.

It's food.

But it's not food food.

Like, you know, it's just a studio with two hours.

It's food, food, food, food, that's what it is.

That's what they call it over there.

Food, food, food, food, food, oh.

Oh my god, Jesus Christ.

Now I just want to hear fucking

studio getting so funny.

You're the terrible version of studio.

We are going to joke.

Okay, one thing we will do, we promise you live show

in Phoenix March 21st.

Get your damn tickets.

It's this week.

We will at some point involve studio in that.

I get that's what we'll do.

Maybe we'll play before we come out.

Maybe we'll find a music version of it.

But studio will be involved in that show.

Be there.

Stand up live in Phoenix, by the way.

Okay, atmosphere is amazing.

The restaurant was nice and clean.

My wife and I had a great experience.

And I wanted to show Denny some love with my review.

We'll definitely be back.

Well, you'll always be back.

It's Denny's.

You can't show him some love.

Show him some love.

Star, one of five stars.

Christian is an amazing server.

From greeting until we left, he was energetic, attentive,

and friendly.

We will come back to this Denny's again

because of his service.

All right.

And then there's a picture of Christian here.

And he looks, he's standing next

to the Denny sign with his arms out, like Denny's mother fucker.

And he has like reindeer horns on.

Oh, because it's Christmas holiday season.

Yeah, he looks very happy, young guy.

Christmas at Denny's, yeah.

Yeah, he looks very young.

Life hasn't broken him yet.

He hasn't realized that this is not a good job yet.

So he's, look at there.

Don't worry.

Jay, one star, the food was as expected for a Denny's.

Okay, there you go.

That's a solid review.

The food was as expected for a Denny's.

But our cups that our drinks were in,

as well as our silverware was filthy

and needs a health violation pronto.

That is Denny's, man.

That's Denny's.

They're all filthy like that.

You're going to eat it with a fork

that still has hash browns on it.

So to say, still has a little scrambled egg in between the time.

Still, it's stuck.

It's stuck.

Waitress was rude and snobby.

Dirty looks from several other workers.

We were also served with half of our food

into go containers.

Okay, when you were eating in, that's weird.

And I was 100% sure I felt something slimy and sticky

in my country fried steak.

That's syrup.

That's, isn't it said?

Not a lot of things are slimy and sticky.

I can think of a couple.

Did you order the stuffed country fried steak

because that's maple syrup in that?

That's the, well, syrup in that.

There could be some semen.

We're not sure.

We'll check on it.

We'll inject them.

It is Denny's.

So I don't know what's in that mix.

I was too far gone into chewing to spit it out.

So I stopped eating after that.

There's no too far into chewing.

There is no, no.

Well, I'm right chewing it into chewing

that I get something funny.

And then I just go out swallow hard.

I'm gonna swallow it.

Nope.

Soon as you hit that thing, you go,

oh, that's been out.

That's what you're eating.

You should do out of your mouth

to examine the foreign object that should not be there.

That's not true.

I was too deep.

I had put too much effort into already starting

to digest this.

I've already done it.

So I've never heard of anyone saying that before.

So I stopped eating after that.

Never go here, shut this place down.

Don't work customer service jobs

if you aren't going to have good service as a worker.

Don't make that big career choice.

Like everyone here isn't in a transitional,

not a lot of career Denny's employees.

You know what I mean?

Move around.

Oh, you know there is.

You know there is.

Took us almost 40 minutes to get a check

because our waitress was on the phone the entire time.

What?

On the phone the entire time.

I've never seen a server on the phone.

That's strange.

Maybe texting her.

I've seen like the landline taking that's taking orders to go.

I pictured him like a teenager in the 50s.

Like with like her all in the court around their finger.

Is they like sit on the couch going?

Then he said what?

No, he didn't.

Really?

Oh my God.

He's so cute.

That's what I picture.

I don't know what's going on here.

Holy shit.

Let's get to this Dana one star.

We ate at this restaurant today.

That's a good start.

Helps for a review.

The service was so unacceptable.

The restaurant had no AC in Jacksonville.

Yikes.

When was this review?

A year ago in Jacksonville.

It doesn't matter what.

No.

It's gross.

We got to have air conditioning.

You need air conditioning.

And the food was wrong when brought out.

The worst part was I saw what I saw in the woman's

restaurant.

Oh boy.

What did you, what did you see, man?

My God, I've never been more interested.

Worst part was what I saw in the woman's restroom.

In the handicap stall, the wine bottle was still one quarter full.

I know this was shown to the manager on duty and he left it there.

Obviously, you have a waitress with an alcohol problem and could be the reason for

the poor ratings and awful service.

And we will never come back probably not when eggs cannot even be done right grinders

down.

The road has great food and good price and sober waitresses, by the way.

You don't know that.

The worst thing I saw was in the bathroom.

What was it?

I expected a newborn baby.

Someone left in the toilet just had it in there like it's in Jacksonville, Denny's.

That's what I expected the worst two of them.

Not in the sink too.

That's Jacksonville.

That's not even twins either.

No.

There's a black one and a Chinese one and you're like, I don't even know, man, this is fucking

crazy.

How does this happen?

That's what I expect two different race children to be born simultaneously in a Jacksonville

Denny's bathroom.

A quarter bottle of wine.

That ain't nothing.

That's nothing.

Leave it alone.

She'll be right back.

Yeah, that's, she's good.

She works at Denny's.

I'd be pounding some wine too.

That's a pretty decent, uh,

way to deal with that job.

I'm impressed.

And there's pictures.

And you know what the wine is.

This is the best part of it.

Is it, uh, there's a Kindle Jackson?

It's a wood bridge like fucking Sarabune.

It's Sarabune, which we know you can get like a gallon of that shit for like eight dollars.

It's fucking wild.

That's what Sarabune zipped a guy up in a suitcase, uh, because he drank it and she was pissed.

Yeah.

Well, she was real.

She wanted a batch.

She was already hammered.

Oh, she was drunk.

That was a different night where he drank her wood bridge this night.

Oh, real?

That wasn't the same night.

Well, it's every night that he would, she'd get meant, but he just, she just got more

wood bridge.

That's how it worked.

It wasn't.

They had an unlimited supply that night.

And there's also a Pacifico bottle in there too.

So they started off fear and wine, man, fear and wine having some fun there.

There's, it's funny too, because there's two pictures.

There's a close-up of it in the garbage.

And then there's one pulled back so you can see it's in the garbage.

Thank you for your evidence photos, but we're going.

There is a, you can tell it's a Pacifico and now you can see the bin that's in there.

It's exactly what it is.

See the tile around it.

They can't even front now.

Okay.

I can't say I'm wine.

Nope.

I'm not wine.

Look at me.

One star from Joseph went there this evening and found only one server, waited 15 minutes

at register and then the lady said you can sit anywhere you like.

Yeah.

She was just waiting for you to come in and sit down.

It's Denny's.

They don't care.

Yes.

Yeah.

Just come on in.

Most tables still had plates on it from previous customers, waited additional 35 minutes

and the older lady server never came to our table, but was fighting with the cook screaming

back and forth.

Nice.

Excellent.

Okay.

Free show.

That's free.

That's free.

I'm so happy when I see stuff like that.

That's fun.

You get breakfast and a show.

That's awesome.

I don't usually have until dinner to get.

Yeah.

And you just, all you have to do is push aside a couple of newborns in the bathroom and

you're fine.

Plus, she's drunk.

Of course, she's arguing with the cook.

What do you want?

He had to plunge the embryos out of the toilet.

Well, I mean, everybody knows that and Denny's though.

That's kind of goes with the territory, doesn't it?

Shuffle my side for you, bitch.

You do.

It's a courtesy flush.

It's called the Jacksonville courtesy flush.

That means get all of the all of the birthing materials out of there so you can properly

take a piss.

That's what that is.

There's placentus floating around.

There's all sorts of shit in there.

It's wild.

Shunks of umbilical cord.

So bad.

So bad.

Drove 20 minutes to have Denny's.

That's your, who drives?

No.

You stop because it's there.

You don't know.

That's it.

It's close.

You don't go.

You know what?

I'm going to destination Denny's today, guys.

Let's get in the car.

What do you say?

Um, but to no avail, we got up and left starving and settled on waffle house, one block from

the Denny's.

Same experience.

Good job.

A little, a little more elevated, if you will.

Uh, you can get things smothered and covered.

I mean, there's all kinds of better options.

I wouldn't call that elevated though.

You can get it much worse for you.

That'll be good.

Yeah, but Denny's is the bar, James.

It's certainly good for you.

Yeah, that's it.

No, no, no.

You get a show with every meal at Waffle House.

Waffle House is like unhealth, like less healthy Denny's, like we're flaxen on it.

You know what I mean?

We're like, we know this is bad.

And Denny's, they pretend that that's not that bad.

Well, you can get a couple of things that aren't that bad at Denny's, whereas Waffle House

is like, what do you want to sell it?

Well, how much gravy you want on it?

It's like, it's a salad.

I know how much that's why I said how much brown with the white.

Yeah.

We figured you didn't want to smothered and covered.

We figured we just put some on there.

So brown or white ass hull, I'm going to Google Waffle House salad.

But Waffle House, no, no.

The South, as itself, doesn't have any fucking salad.

We go to decent restaurants and they're like, what now?

Things vegetable and they're like, they just shake their head and they're like, things

that grow from the ground and then you cut them and put them on a plate and shit, you

got to put seeds, you know, to start with.

But eventually you get, no, okay, never mind.

I guess I'll have more the mac and cheese.

It stops serving the whole thing.

It stops serving the whole thing.

It's so funny because they used to serve a side salad.

But then they're like, the world has a pandemic happening right now and they're like, oh,

we never want to be healthy again.

No.

And they yanked it off the menu.

Jesus.

The only thing on their menu that has vitamins in it, Waffle House, we're proud of

them.

They were like, fuck that.

Fuck that.

We don't want people to build up their immune systems.

That would, that would mean that we think that that's real, that we can't do.

Pull it off the menu.

We don't want to offend our customers by having something healthy on there.

They'll get real mad.

They're calling us names.

Oh my God.

Burgers hash browns and steaks.

That's what they have.

That's the menu.

That's it.

Hash browns are good.

And I do like the, that, the, the pudding pie, the chocolate pie.

That's good.

But if you tell them well done hash browns, motherfucker, they burn the shit out of

them.

Good.

But thank you.

But there's, my point is there's nothing soft in the middle.

Oh, it's just hard all the way through.

Oh, nice.

So it's like a big, big potato chip.

That's terrific.

Yeah, that's a potato cake.

Yeah.

You can't overcrest my hash browns.

I got to say it's really hard.

Yeah.

I love to have that.

Greasy.

The little center.

Yeah.

That's ideal, I think.

I'd like it to be about a, about an inch thick.

If you burn it, I'll still eat it.

I don't care.

Yeah, I'll definitely, I'll still eat it, but I'll, I prefer to have a little potato

in the middle.

Yeah.

I prefer to have a little potato.

Just for my teeth sake, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Something like that.

I just like that greasy shit in the middle.

It's so good.

That's potatoes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's good.

Yeah.

But it's got potatoes.

Oh, fuckload of vegetable oil.

That's what God knows.

That's what's in the lard.

A picture of the old lard bucket thing.

And they go, yeah.

And just put it on the griddle and more bacon grease.

Either way.

Either way.

Figure lards worse for you.

Probably.

Probably.

Yeah.

We're proud to use lard.

But I think they recycled the bacon, bacon grease to make the, the, the homemade lard

maybe.

Moamalia, one star.

The waitress Debbie refused my birthday coupon and called me a scammer.

You scammin' ass non-birthday bitch.

She was very un-birthday.

She was very unpleasant and didn't even look at my email that contained my code.

I'm very disappointed that they refused my birthday coupon as I was looking forward

to it because I had meat in that day.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, you poor thing.

Give the lady a hot birthday.

Give the lady a hot birthday.

Good Lord.

I want to buy this lady something for her birthday.

I'm terrible.

This is terrible.

Wow.

Why not?

We'll not be recommending to anyone I know.

That's for sure.

Yeah.

I guess not.

Um, Logan, this is great.

Logan, one star, waited over an hour, still no food, empty promises, empty promises.

He said he called me tomorrow and he didn't empty promises.

They told me I can have a table.

They were, they lied.

They lied.

Look and waitress fought empty glasses, made waffle house look like Ruth's Chris in comparison.

Oh, come on, relax, chill out, uh, Christina one star.

I would like to give a less rating than what I did, but I can't.

But our waitress was upstanding and very attentive.

Okay.

As my family ate, I looked around and noticed the air vents of the restaurant to my surprise.

I saw a very dead, mummified carcass of an animal.

What?

Yeah.

Fun animal.

That's not on the menu, by the way.

Where was it?

To what?

I don't know.

I do know that such animal was there for more than a day or two.

I reported this to the onsite manager and she waived my concerns off and didn't really

care to talk to me after.

I'm unsure if the problem's been taken care of and there's pictures of the air vent with

a fucking furry, there is a furry something inside there.

It looks, it could be a bat, maybe.

Oh my God.

I don't know what it is, but there is certainly inside the vent.

It is.

Yeah.

It's got like the plate that comes down.

It's like stuck in there.

It looks like it died in the vent and fell out and the AC just blew it to the grate.

Yeah.

It's certain.

It's like they have it like where it's got like that plate over the opening of the

different way.

And if the enough air comes, it's going to shoot it right out of the side on somebody's

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She has several pictures of this thing too.

Can't tell what it is.

And what the what the manager say about it.

I can't do anything about it.

I don't know.

Just wave off my concern.

Just went nah.

They get in sometimes.

Timothy one star here.

We got to finish up with the Denny's all of above was good, okay.

But I ended up in the emergency room and being kept overnight.

Oh no.

Yeah.

The assistant manager mixed floor cleaner and fabuloso, Tringer might what it?

What is it?

I don't know.

Trigger my reactive airway.

My wife had a call had to call 911 in the parking lot.

Nobody said I'm sorry made Nate mom in the Denny's that yeah, yeah, absolutely.

The man just said we're not allowed to come to this parking lot even though she caused

this.

But again, another a man, the man said not to come here, even though she caused it.

The man that took the 911 call.

No the Denny's manager who mixed the floor cleaner in fabuloso told them to get out of my

parking lot with your restricted airway and they said we're waiting for an ambulance.

You would think she would know how no chemical safety.

Well yeah, I mean, obviously I figure chemical engineering is a skill of any Denny's

manager.

They are they clearly no compounds and what goes together.

I'm sure she didn't have a little bit of fabuloso, not enough to clean the floor and then

poured some pines all in there to top it off.

And yeah, certainly new better never, never, Kristen one star.

This is I think a horny lady waitresses, what she's talking about here.

Table was sticky, mist item on the order and charged us for it.

Only refilled the males drinks at the table.

Well, there you go, there handsome, just ignore in the women, never got a refill on my

drink when I tried to ask her several times.

Hair was in the hash browns, he sounds like a lot of hair, not a hair, she said hair.

Yeah, there was hair and look, it's got a little afro on this thing, it's scary.

The lady's bathroom has no soap or paper towels, poor experience.

Yeah, Denny's.

You just got one.

Don't look at the air vents.

Oh, wow.

Well, unless you like taxidermy, maybe you can do that, but other than that, I wouldn't

do that.

Okay, Courtney one star, a roach was attempting to crawl onto our plates from the window

seal.

Well, of course, my appetite is ruined, but I didn't even eat one bite of my eggs and

told the waitress, I can't eat it now.

She was upset because I didn't want to pay for the meal that I didn't or couldn't

eat.

She avoided coming to solve the problem until I literally had to yell to her to come

over to the table because I wanted to be discreet and not let everyone know they had

roaches, but the lady wouldn't come back to our table.

Oh, wow.

You care if you're discreet or not, I wouldn't do that.

Roaches.

Roaches.

Don't get them.

Fuck that.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

This person.

Okay.

Here we go.

One star.

Weighted almost an hour for the food to come out cold.

There's a cigarette butt on the inside of the door when you walk in.

So it stops us.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They walked it in.

I'm stuck to a shoe.

They're using what I can only assume to be a dogged out weed eater mower to run their

blender because it sounds like I was getting yelled at by a chain smoking robot from the

kitchen.

Okay.

All right.

The AC didn't work in our restaurant.

So it looked like I just topped out of a pool hobbling out of this restaurant.

The drink machine was out of carbonation.

This place is barely an operational denny's.

If it doesn't have carbonation, you don't have sodas.

You just say, no, we have water right now.

If you have no bubbles or air conditioning, you don't have a detonation.

No, that's not a place.

You got enough.

I'm not coming in there.

The urinal was more pubic hair than toilet.

It was made out of pubic hair.

More taxable.

It was just a nest of just everybody's got 70s bush.

Oh, huge down there.

Wow.

It's very, very popular.

To the point where I thought I may have been peeing on a wall-mounted bear.

Okay.

Calm down.

The server was a nice lady, and I'm sure she had no control over the food coming out

of the kitchen.

Plus, she was drunk, so she was in a good mood.

Well now that I've escaped that place, I'm going to get a tetanus shot for good measure.

Look for me in the obituaries under died of dysentery.

You think you're a comedian?

This fucking guy.

That's annoying.

Let's see.

No, no.

I don't want you.

You're too much.

One last one.

A wall-marked here.

Okay.

Michael one star.

I never write bad reviews, but my experience was absolutely terrible.

The silverware was filthy, so filthy that we had to ask for plastic.

Oh, come on.

It only gets worse.

As we were eating a cockroach, now there's no comma.

So the sentence says, as we were eating a cockroach, say, assume a comma goes there, the

small ones, which are the filthy ones, crawls on the wall into the crack of the booth.

The elderly woman behind us was disgusted as we were.

I went to the manager as did the woman, and by the time the cockroach was crawling on

our booth, I was sitting.

Imagine right out of the top of your head, knowing the gross roach.

How do you...

It's the dirty ones, not the nice ones that you see.

Keep his pets.

The really clean ones that come to your house and watch the dishes.

Yeah.

They're all disgusting.

They're not going to be doing a shally driveway, ma'am.

They're real nice, those ones.

The manager comes out, picks up the cockroach and goes to walk off, picked it up like they're

dog got away.

Oh, my bad.

I'm just coming here, fluffy.

God damn it.

I told you to stay in the kitchen.

Shit.

The woman said she refused to pay as we did, as did we, since we had already had bad

service.

The manager did not even stop to talk to us when the roach was in our booth in the first

place.

Our waitress told us to go ahead and leave, and she would handle the check with the

manager.

Well, okay, I'm adding a picture of the roach and then there's no picture of the

roach.

So I don't know.

Okay.

Now, we've done two very distinctly American things, Walmart and Denny's.

We've lowered our standards for that.

Now we're going to do another American staple except nowhere near America.

We're going to go to a 7-Eleven in Japan.

They have them in Japan?

I was surprised to.

And you know what?

What?

They possibly have there.

We're going to Yokohama, Japan, open 24 hours to go to the 7-Eleven, which has 2.9 stars.

That's got to be horrible, right?

That's horrible.

Or it's three, right?

No way.

Or it's Japan and they have much higher standards is what I think is possible.

I think that's definitely possible.

Here's five stars from God knows what the fuck those characters mean.

I have no idea.

One looks like a Jesus fish with a line through it.

I don't know what the hell's going on here.

Four stars.

I went there during the day and the staff were just average.

It's 7-Eleven and they're like, I expect more out of these people.

It felt like things were a little crammed in, but that was just my imagination question, Mark.

In other words, is the selection good?

I don't know.

You went there.

You tell me if the selection's good.

It's a lot.

I don't want to have to go to Yokohama to let you know if they have all the hubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubb

stars, the copy machine is right there. So it's easy to see. That's the whole review. Was

that translated from Japanese? Oh, of course. Yeah. See originally. I wonder if it even, if

Google even got that right. I mean, I assume Google knows Japanese. It's not like it's a...

That's a crazy... Not a real under the radar language. They've been speaking it a while

over there. That's a wild statement. Copy machine is right there. So it's easy to see. I guess

they went in to make a copy and were thrilled with the accessibility of the copy machine.

Four stars, not five. That would be, you know, different. Here's three stars from Japanese name.

The store staff are all prioritizing stocking the shelves, especially since the renovation,

the store is cramped and difficult to shop in. And yet, even when I try to look at the products,

the staff won't move out of the way. Conversely, when I'm looking at the products,

the staff will come stalking me with large cardboard boxes and tell me to move. The aisles are narrow,

so I can't shop leisurely. They sounds like how I picture Japan everywhere. What they have is right.

Type people saying move out of the way. You don't know what's going on. There's boxes, places,

just how many people work at seven, 11, apparently a lot here. There's employees coming in and out.

Staff will come stalking me with large boxes. Okay. I'd consider, I wish they'd consider the

flow of people a little more. The store manager is really nice, but the part-time and casual staff

are disappointing, which can be unpleasant at times. They're, yeah, they're very polite,

they use, yeah, Japan is, they'll kick you right out if you're rude. I think they're very nice.

They, they say, oh, yeah, it's, it's elegant and they say it the right way. They're all very

educated. They're so dumb. They say, unlike America, people will go to Denny's could have dropped

out in the fourth grade. We have no idea. Somebody who's at Walmart, we have no clue. These people

are actually like educated. It's totally different. As we were eating cockroach. Yeah. Yeah.

Three stars. Fried foods are always available. The road is narrow, so you can't park your car

for long. Oh, okay. That sounds like it's code for something, right? We need to, hey, where's

those guys from World War II that figured this out? We need to figure out what this goddamn code is.

I don't know what it is. Yeah, we're there. They, um, two stars. The quality of the store clerks

can vary greatly. Some clerks are very polite, but they are also foreign women who treat the

products you purchase very roughly, which I really hate. You know how those foreign women are.

They make no bones about it in Japanese. If you're foreign, they're like foreign, foreign,

like they don't give a fuck. We're on island and slap our shit around. Slap in our shit around.

The latter are always in the store and I feel uncomfortable every time I meet them. Why?

Is there foreigners? Yeah. Come down. These products are what you pay your salary. So please treat

them with a bit more care, spending all my money here. God damn it. Two stars. I was surprised

to be told off when I was just browsing for a bit. I wonder if told off as the same

meaning in Japan that it does here. It does. Not positive. I was planning to buy the magazine and

read it thoroughly if there was an article that caught my eye. So he was reading the magazine to see

if there was something worth reading to buy it, which is really what the covers for.

That tells you what's in there and then you go buy it. It tells you all the best stuff in there.

All the things that are the reasons to buy it. If you want to buy it, if you want to read it,

that's when you go buy it to read it. Otherwise, it's just articles or advertisements for things,

like camel cigarettes and shit. Yeah, just a bunch of joke apples in there.

Yeah. Okay. And I was also thinking of buying other magazines, but I will avoid this store from

now on. How many magazines were you considering buying? Not a lot, right? Not a lot. You weren't

going to buy that many magazines. You fucking liar. I don't believe you at all. Okay. One more and

then we will leave it there and we'll pick up on Japanese 7-Eleven next week here. That's great.

Nayoki. I'll go to name it at least that I can read. That's good. Nayoki. One star. I went there

late at night. Period. End of paragraph. Next paragraph. The man working the night shift was

smoking a cigarette outside on the street while still in his uniform. Oh, you should see here.

People like fuck each other behind it. People fuck each other behind a dumpster with their 7-Eleven

shirts here. That's nothing. Yeah. People wipe gizz from the corner of their mouth with the sleeve of

the shirt. And then go. Is that anything else? That's at the counter. That's not even before they

get there. Do you want to get another one of these? They're two for five. They're two for five.

They're two for five. You get one one for one. I'll hold up the line. Hold on a minute. Yeah,

that's they will too. Okay. When a customer entered the store, he threw his cigarette into a manhole

and went inside the register. Wow. He must be small. The people are smaller there. I will say that.

He went inside the register. He must be very tiny. That's a great shot throwing it into the

manhole. They've got a very small hole on them. Yeah, it's very small. The manhole is there. You

don't have to be as big. Our manhole is very wide for our man to be able to cover it. The

cover just has that little hole in it. Oh, I think if you can flick a cigarette into that,

I'll give you $100. That's pretty impressive. I figured they were just smaller because they're smaller

people. Yeah. Yeah. There's I don't know why. This might have been acceptable in the show

while era, SHOWA, but in this day and age, not today, smoking a cigarette on the street while

still in his uniform and throwing it into a manhole is unacceptable. Okay. In America. Yeah,

maybe he wants a cigarette. In America, the guy would put it would knock the cherry off, put

the half-smoke cigarette behind his ear and go inside and check you out and then wipe the

gist from his mouth and then come back out and finish the cigarette. With the sleeve of his 7-11.

Absolute of his 7-11 bowling shirt. I wonder what kind of training the manager gives his staff.

Is it enough if the shift is filled? Yes. That's your answer. It's enough if the shift is filled.

That's what they're going for. That's the idea. That's the idea. There's 7-11. We have more from

Japanese 7-11. They're talking about rice balls at one point, which I'm like, they have rice balls

at Japanese 7-11. Fucking awesome. I even know what that is, but all right. Rice balls are

really good. There we go. We have that. We're going to leave it there. We've done some very

American things, including one of them in Japan. Apparently, they have very different standards

for over there. They'd be so disappointed if they came to Jacksonville and tried that shit.

Thank you so much for checking it out. Avoid Denny's in general. Watch out.

Watch out. Unless the cook and the waitress are fighting, then stay for the show. It's good

shit. Expect more from your Japanese 7-11 experience. We all know that and expect less from

every Walmart experience anywhere. That said, hang out with us. Come see our live show on March 21st,

this weekend, coming up here in Phoenix at Stand Up Live. We can't wait for Saturday night.

Get your tickets. There's still a couple left. Get in there and do that. Shut up and give me

murder.com. Get your merchandise. Get all your shit and come back and keep hanging out with us

and listen to our other two shows, Crime and Sports and Small Town Murder. We'll see you next week.

Everybody, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. See you then. Bye!

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