You Might Have 9 Million In Your Attic

Opie sobs over his shredded baseball card and some genius finds Superman #1 worth NINE MILLION DOLLARS in his attic—meanwhile Sting’s supposedly banging for eight straight hours like a tantric god. We savage childhood trauma, garbage moms, flat-earth lunatics, and why broke kids now let AI diagnose their ass warts. Savage laughs, zero filter—go raid your parents’ crap before they burn the only thing that could’ve saved you.