Your Comeback Summer: Feel Confident & Sexy Again After Infidelity (Join me for some Hot Girl Summer Vibes)

Ready to rise from the ashes of betrayal and reclaim your sparkle? This summer, it’s not about revenge—it’s about radiance. In this empowering episode, Lora Cheadle shares how to get your groove back after infidelity through confidence, embodiment, hormone health, nutrition, and joyful self-expression.

Because healing isn’t just emotional—it’s physical, energetic, and spiritual too. From navigating menopause and libido shifts to eating for hormone balance, moving to feel strong and sensual, and finally ditching shame for good, you’ll learn how wellness is the foundation for lasting recovery.

Whether you’re fresh in the fallout of betrayal or simply longing to feel sexy in your own skin again, this is your invitation to glow, heal, and rise—surrounded by a sacred community of women who get it. You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s make this your most liberated summer yet.

Want the full roadmap to your comeback? This episode is just the beginning! We can’t cover it all in one show—which is exactly why I created the 90-day Hot Girl Summer program. If you’re ready for deeper support around hormone health, nutrition, movement, and healing in community with other amazing women, join us at SparkleAllSeason.com. Your most radiant, confident self is waiting. Top Three Takeaways:

1. Healing is a full-body experience – Learn how somatic movement, hormone balance, nourishing food, and mindful self-care create the foundation for physical and emotional recovery.
2. You’re not broken—you’re becoming – Infidelity may crack your identity, but it also opens the door to your next, most radiant self.
3. Community is the container for transformation – Authentic connection with other women in a safe, sacred space is one of the fastest ways to reclaim your joy, beauty, and freedom.

 

 

  This Episode Is For:

Women who have been betrayed by an intimate partner and are ready to reclaim their confidence, reconnect with their body, and feel sexy, strong, and spiritually alive again—on their own terms. Especially helpful for women in perimenopause or menopause who are looking to transform their pain into power, in the company of other powerful women.

 

Ready to create your own Hot Girl Summer? Join us at SparkleAllSeason.com for a soulful, sexy, and supportive summer of confidence, connection, and comeback. It’s your time to glow—inside and out!

 

Subscribe, Rate & Review: If this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend and leave a review—it helps other women find the support they need!

 

Betrayal Recovery Tool Kit Find Relief, Reclaim Yourself, and Rewrite Your Story

Download your Betrayal Recovery Roadmap & Tool Kit at www.BetrayalRecoveryGuide.com and start reclaiming yourself and your life today!

 

About Lora:

Lora Cheadle is a betrayal recovery coach, attorney, and TEDx speaker who helps women heal from betrayal on an energetic, emotional, and ancestral level—while also providing legal guidance to help them navigate the practical complexities of infidelity and relationship transitions. She empowers women to rise from the ashes, reclaim their identity and self-worth, break free from repeating patterns, and step into their power with confidence, clarity, and grace.

After being shattered by her husband’s fifteen years of infidelity, Lora knows firsthand what it takes to transform devastation into an invitation for healing, freedom, and joy. Her unique approach blends deep emotional healing with tangible legal and life strategies, guiding women beyond betrayal into lives of unapologetic confidence and purpose.

As the founder of Life Choreography Coaching & Advocacy, Lora provides comprehensive legal, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual support on demand. She believes that infidelity doesn’t have to be the end of the dream you poured your heart and soul into—it can be the beginning of a life filled with sovereignty, connection, and joy.

Licensed to practice law in California and Colorado, Lora is also a trauma-aware coach, clinical hypnotherapist, somatic attachment therapist, and advanced integrated energy practitioner. She is certified in yoga, mindfulness, group fitness, and personal training, bringing a holistic perspective to healing.

She is the author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy, & Spiritual Self (an International Book Awards Finalist and Tattered Cover Bestseller) and It’s Not Burnout, It’s Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive. She also hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity and Betrayal.

Based in Colorado, Lora is an adventure-seeker who loves travel, a great book, and saying yes to life’s magic.

Let’s connect! Share your thoughts or questions from this episode with Lora at loracheadle.com. New episodes every week.

Subscribe, like, share, and join Lora Cheadle on your journey to reclaim your sparkle and create a life you love.

 

Special Offers from Our Sponsors!

Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this podcast! Take charge of your mental health and get 10% off your first month of therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/FLAUNT

 

Are you ready to Rise, Reclaim, and Reign as the Queen of Your Life? Infidelity may have shaken your world, but it does not define you. You are powerful. You are worthy. And you are more than capable of creating a future filled with confidence, clarity, and joy.

I’m here to walk beside you, giving you the perspective, permission, and proven tools to transform betrayal into your greatest awakening. Whether through one-on-one coaching or my on-demand Affair Recovery Programs, you’ll gain the guidance and support to untangle yourself from the past, reclaim your power, and step boldly into your next chapter.

Your transformation starts now! Learn more at www.AffairRecoveryForWomen.com and visit www.LoraCheadle.com for even more resources and inspiration.

 

READY TO START A BETTER CHAPTER? Step into the future you’ve always dreamed of with the power of transformative rituals with the Mindful Subscription Box. Get a monthly box full of crystals, aromatherapy, and other spiritual tools worth $120. You deserve high-quality gems, crystals, oils, and mindfulness tools for self-care that truly work. It’s a monthly dose of self-love delivered right to your door!  Go to www.Mindfulsouls.com  and use Discount Code LORA30 for 30% off your order!

 

• International Book Award, Finalist Motivational Self-Help, 2021
• Tattered Cover Bestseller, 2019

Have you spent your life playing by the rules, only to realize those rules weren’t made for you? What if you could break free—from expectations, from betrayal, from the roles you were taught to play—and reclaim your true self?

FLAUNT! is your guide to stripping away societal conditioning, healing from the heartbreak of betrayal, and rediscovering the fierce, confident woman you were born to be. With humor, wisdom, and powerful, actionable steps, Lora Cheadle empowers you to rise above the narratives that have confined you and boldly choreograph a life that is smart, sexy, spiritual, and uniquely your own.

It’s time to stop living for others and start living for you.

Buy Now on Amazon, or wherever books are sold.

 

It’s Not Burnout, It’s Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP & Thrive 

Burnout isn’t just exhaustion—it’s a betrayal of your time, energy, and trust. This essential guide redefines burnout, exposing its hidden roots and equipping individuals, teams, and leaders with five powerful tools to reclaim their passion, purpose, and well-being.

If you’re ready to break free from burnout and step into a life of clarity, confidence, and fulfillment, this book is your roadmap.

Available now on Amazon. Download your free guide, BURNOUT UNCOVERED: Fostering Candid Conversations for Teams at www.ItsNotBurnoutItsBetrayal.com.

 

 

 

 

Transcript

Lora Cheadle [00:00:01]: You're listening to Flaunt, find your sparkle and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal, a podcast for women who've been betrayed by their intimate partner and want to turn their devastation into an invitation to reclaim them selves and their worth. Tune in weekly so you can start making sense of it all and learn how to be okay on the inside no matter what goes on on the outside. Download your free betrayal recovery toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.

Lora Cheadle [00:00:35]: Who wants to get their groove back? Who wants to feel really good and sexy and strong and powerful and happy again after infidelity or betrayal. Who here was totally rocked by their partner's infidelity? And not only by their partner's infidelity and all that meant, but who here also feels old, feels ugly, feels like aging is really hard? Who here is going through perimenopause or menopause and is struggling to put it all together again because suddenly their body is changing? Yes. All of the above. And that's what this show is about. We are going to address all of that. We are going to address all the ways we feel bad. And let me just be clear. Infidelity is a huge emotional impact, but I also wanna talk about the it's not really the physical impact, but the psychological impact, which is different than emotional.

Lora Cheadle [00:01:39]: The psychological impact of not feeling pretty enough or sexy enough or hot enough, it's really devastating. And I talk to all of you during our one on one sessions or in the Facebook group, and everybody talks about comparing themselves to the affair partner. And either way, if the affair partner is younger, thinner, hotter, it's devastating. And if the affair partner is older, heavier, frumpy, or uglier, it's devastating. It's devastating no matter what because of that psychological impact of it disrupts how we see ourselves and our belief of if we're the pretty one or we're the chosen one or we're the loved one. And it impacts our confidence in ways that are not superficial. And I think that's what I really wanna communicate to you in this show is wanting to feel pretty is not superficial. Wanting to age well is not superficial.

Lora Cheadle [00:02:44]: Wanting to feel sexy is not trivial. We all want that. We want to look good. It feels good when you look in the mirror and you like what you see. It feels good when somebody smiles at you and says, hey, great shoes. I love that hair color. It feels good. That's this human connection thing, and that's something that we all want.

Lora Cheadle [00:03:09]: And quite frankly, that's something that we deserve too. And that's what I really want to lean into in this episode. I wanna talk about health. I wanna talk about hormones. Perimenopause, menopause, the trauma that infidelity puts you through. I'll share my story a little bit later in the show, but it put this trauma put me into early menopause. Not sleeping messes with your hormones. Not being able to eat messes with your hormones.

Lora Cheadle [00:03:40]: When your hormones are out of whack, your thinking is out of whack. You feel crazy because it's normal to feel crazy, but also you feel crazy probably because your body is not running in optimal condition because you are incredibly stressed. And when the body is in the state of incredible stress, it's not being vibrant and healthy and joyful. So many of you that I talk to talk about feeling old and ugly. And I know that after this happened, I was like, there's trauma in my face. I didn't used to have this droopy face. And now I have jowls, and now I have wrinkles and bags around my eyes because it was like I cried too much for too long, and then the the puffiness never went away. And then I was aging, and I was getting belly fat, and I was getting all these things that I never had before.

Lora Cheadle [00:04:37]: And it just exacerbated everything that I was already feeling, and it just made everything so much worse. So that's what we're gonna talk about today. I wanna get really honest. I want you to reach out to me. I want you to share your story. I want you to just be like, amen, sister. You hear me? But I really want to talk about how it feels to be a woman, how it feels to be an aging woman, how it feels to be a menopausal woman, how it feels to be a betrayed woman, and how it feels to have your identity ruptured as well. My identity, I was always one of the pretty girls.

Lora Cheadle [00:05:25]: That was my identity. I was always one of the chosen ones. I owned that as a piece of my identity for good or for bad, for right or for wrong. So when I found out that my husband cheated, it rocked my identity. Wait. I'm not one of the pretty girls? Wait. I wasn't one of the ones who was chosen? He chose somebody else and not me. What does that say about me? If if I'm not the vivacious one, if I'm not that then who am I? Because how could my own love, my own partner not choose me? And that's a lot.

Lora Cheadle [00:06:08]: And I know that who ever you feel like you were as a piece of your identity, your partner's betrayal ruptured that as well. And for that, I am so sorry. I am so sorry. But I also want to say that this truly is a great opportunity to rebuild, to rebuild that identity. Yes. Maybe you can go back to the being the chosen one, being the pretty one, being the smart one, being whatever it is. But the way you're rebuilding yourself is with such authenticity because it's not reliant upon external validation. You're rebuilding yourself from the inside out.

Lora Cheadle [00:06:48]: You are owning and claiming yourself and your identity. And if you wanna switch, if you wanna suddenly because become the wise one, you can do that too. But, again, you're rebuilding yourself from the inside out. As part of this I mean, this episode is gonna be powerful, but we can't change the world in fifty minutes, unfortunately. But as part of that, I have created a summer program for all of us. It's just a ninety day program. It's gonna be a lot of group work. I'm lovingly calling it, like, hot girl summer just because that's the silly, fun, fresh vibe I want us to move into.

Lora Cheadle [00:07:30]: You know, at first, I thought about, like, I'm gonna do betrayal recovery, and I thought, no. There's such heaviness to that. This is hot girl summer, man. We're getting our groove back. I know we're not girls. I know we're women, but it's this is hot girl summer. We're gonna play. We're gonna put on our self tanner.

Lora Cheadle [00:07:49]: We're gonna get a new haircut maybe. We're gonna find an outfit that feels good. We're gonna go socialize and connect and learn new things. We're gonna get into our bodies. We're gonna dance. Oh, are we gonna dance this summer, ladies? We are gonna dance, dance, dance. We're gonna take care of our spirits. We are going to heal the collective feminine.

Lora Cheadle [00:08:15]: We are going to create such a strong, powerful, sacred sisterhood that whatever happens in your future, in your daughter's future, in your aunt's future, in your mother's future, in your grandmother's future, in your sister's futures cannot be denied. Because the strength of our shared bond, the strength of our joy, the strength of our power in reclaiming our joy, our fun, our vivacious energy is just gonna send ripples to the world, and that is my intention. I'm working on the details now, but it's ninety days, And you'll be able to sign up at sparkleallseason.com. So you can reach out to me if you have any questions, but otherwise, sparkleallseason.com, and we are gonna get our groove back. We're gonna be hot, sexy, fun, loving girls this summer, and we're gonna slip right into our joy. Now I am not talking about bypassing. I am talking about doing the work. I'm talking about staying connected to our heart, staying presence.

Lora Cheadle [00:09:23]: If we need to grieve, grieve. But I'm also talking about allowing ourselves to come back online, taking care of ourselves, nurturing our wellness, our health, figuring it out so we can figure it out. And isn't that funny? In order to figure out this whole trauma infidelity, in order to figure it out, we have to figure ourselves out. Because the truth of the matter is we need to feel optimal. We need to be in an optimal state in order to have the resources, the capacity to do the deep soul work to heal the wound of betrayal. And that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna hold the work on both sides, the high joy and the deep pain, and we're gonna go there. We're gonna go there on both ends, merge them in the center, which is the heart, with each other, and bring it forward, birth it into the world.

Lora Cheadle [00:10:31]: So enough about that sparkleallseason.com. You're going to love it, and let's get on with the show for the day. Okay. I'm gonna start by telling you a little story. When I found out about my husband's betrayal, life, I thought, was really on the precipice of being really good. My youngest was about to go away to college. I was dancing some burlesque. I was feeling so good.

Lora Cheadle [00:11:04]: It was like, I finally have time to get in shape, to cook meals that I want to cook, to sleep in and not always have to be rushed, you know, to get my kids up and worry about things like that. I can start traveling with my husband. I'm gonna do all these wonderful things. I'm gonna start taking care of me. And then I found out. And this trauma was so severe that it sent me into early menopause, which I didn't really know was a thing. But here's how that happened. Trauma puts us in a state of fight, flight, or freeze.

Lora Cheadle [00:11:51]: It hijacks our nervous system. We start pumping out cortisol. I was not feeling good, as I'm sure you know. It does not feel good at all. I couldn't sleep. I absolutely could not sleep to save my life. So many of you tell me the exact same thing too. Like, you just can't sleep, which also wreaks havoc on your body, on your hormones.

Lora Cheadle [00:12:21]: Eating was awful. I I couldn't digest. I wasn't hungry, but then I would just start eating, and nothing tasted good. I got no joy out of the food. And sometimes I would just overeat because I was sitting there eating, and then sometimes I would forget to eat. And then sometimes I would try to eat, and I was nauseous. And I couldn't eat. I did not drink my water.

Lora Cheadle [00:12:52]: During the struggle with my husband for his phone, when I found out all the texts and everything, my toe broke. So I couldn't even walk. So the normal working out and dancing that I had done, I could no longer do. And the combination of all of that stress, all of that trauma, no sleeping, inadequate nutrition, no working out, all of that, sent my body into early menopause. I mean, my periods just stopped. And And it was one of those things that sometimes you don't know that you don't know. It just stopped. And I wasn't really too much aware of it.

Lora Cheadle [00:13:40]: It just stopped and other things I was thinking about. So it's not like I went to my doctor. I'm not sure if my doctor would have said or known what to do anyway, and I just moved on. But here's the thing. When you're going through perimenopause, your emotion your emotions, your hormones are up and down, and your emotions are up and down, and the the level of brain fog is up and down. And it's normal. Perimenopause is a roller coaster ride, and there's no medical test for perimenopause because the hormones peak and valley. So it would depend on where you test.

Lora Cheadle [00:14:26]: You would need to, like, test every single day to find out where your hormones are. Oh, estrogen's up today. Oh, progesterone's down today. Oh, there's no test for perimenopause. The test for perimenopause is do you feel a little bit scattered and chaotic and out of control? Are your periods sporadic? That is something that happens to some people, but not everybody. So how much of what you're feeling is anxiety due to the affair, and how much of what you're feeling might be perimenopause or menopause? How much of it is your hormones? And it's really hard to differentiate and to tell. And to some degree, it doesn't really matter. You just know it feels awful, but to some degree, it does matter because you can be supported for your hormones.

Lora Cheadle [00:15:20]: And if you're going to a psychiatrist and you're having problems with your mental health and sleeping, they might be giving you medication and rightfully so because if you're having some psychotic breaks if you can't sleep, having medication, having that support in the short term is definitely helpful. But what about hormonal support too? What would it be like also to maybe have an estrogen patch or to take progesterone? What might it be like to have your hormones balanced? Last week, I went to Chalene Johnson's camp b more, and it was amazing. It was a ton of fun. It was in Vegas. And the founder of MidiHealth was there as well as many other physicians who specialize in menopause. And it was shocking to me how simple and how accessible hormone replacement is and what a big impact it can have on the way we feel. I had heard, like, probably so many of us, that, oh, you gotta be careful with hormones. Oh, you gotta be careful.

Lora Cheadle [00:16:31]: It can cause cancer. In fact, a new study came out two weeks ago that kind of debunks a lot of the old research that was done because the old research was done on, like, synthetic estrogens, not some of these bioidenticals. It was done some were done on rats, not even on women. And there are so many different factors that were not taken into consideration. So I've kinda had this belief, like, oh, you really have to be careful with that. And it doesn't really matter. Why would we wanna extend our childbearing years anyway? Well, here's what I learned at that conference from many of these physicians. Estrogen in our body helps with cognitive function.

Lora Cheadle [00:17:18]: It helps with our cardiovascular health. It helps with bone density. It helps us age well, and it helps us think clearly. And most importantly, it makes us feel good. It can get rid of that brain fog. It can make us feel more alert. Progesterone. I started taking progesterone.

Lora Cheadle [00:17:44]: It makes you sleep at night. It is better than I've ever had with anything with magnesium or melatonin or any of those other sleep aids. Progesterone is amazing. My body was craving progesterone. I didn't even realize that I had some brain fog going on. I didn't realize some of the, you know, the achiness, the heaviness, the weight gain, things like that. They were hormonal. When I feel better in my body, I feel more more like I can take on the world.

Lora Cheadle [00:18:21]: When you feel better in your body, you are going to feel more confident, more secure. When you are able to think clearly, when you were able to sleep at night, you're gonna have far more capacity. Now I'm not saying everybody has to do hormone replacement. There are contraindications, and if you just don't want to, you just don't have to. But what I am saying is there's a lot of really good education out there, who I started using was MidiHealth, m I d I, Health. They are they're like online physicians. It's a real physician. They're covered by insurance, but they're all specialists in women's health.

Lora Cheadle [00:19:08]: They're all specialists in hormone replacement. They're all specialists in everything that's going on. So even if you have no interest in hormone replacement, see a women's health physician, see a women's health specialist so you can start taking care of your body, sleeping better, regulating yourself better, and feeling better. So that was the first thing that I learned, and that was the first thing that I wanted to talk to you about because I wish somebody would have talked to me about that. I wish somebody would have asked. You know? Did you know that trauma can kick you into early menopause? No. I did not know that. Did you know that being kicked into early menopause can have devastating effects on long term bone density? No.

Lora Cheadle [00:19:57]: I didn't know that. Did you know there's cardiovascular implications for menopause? No. I didn't know that. So these are some of the things. There's an impact. It's not just that you don't have your period anymore. It impacts everything. And for me, I'm definitely interested in cognitive decline.

Lora Cheadle [00:20:19]: I don't want cognitive decline. I'm interested in bone health. I'm interested in longevity. I'm interested in feeling and looking good for as long as I can. Yes. It's part of the aging gracefully, but it's also aging healthily. And I don't want to be the frail old lady who can't get out of bed. So what I wanna move into next, because I feel like hormones are kind of that basic foundation, but that next level up, that next layer is the health, the nutrition.

Lora Cheadle [00:20:55]: And I don't know about you, but nutrition was really hard during the betrayal recovery process. I mean, early on, you can't eat. The things that sound good are not necessarily healthy. And I just kind of lost all of that. Adequate nutrition is essential for our brains, for our bodies. And I'm not gonna spend a ton of time about talking about this because we all know it. We all know it. But what I am gonna talk about is that accountability and the reminders of how do I nurture and nourish myself.

Lora Cheadle [00:21:37]: I'm not just cramming in food to get to my next meeting. This is feeding my soul. This is feeling my body. This is fueling what I'm going to look and feel like in ten years, in twenty years. And what I do now has a direct impact on how I will feel then. And that's this part of my hot girl summer is I want us to remember that and to start developing some habits around drinking healthy waters, taking if you wanna take your vitamins, your minerals. I have some thoughts on different supplements. I have some thoughts on different vitamins, but, obviously, you do you because I don't know your medical history.

Lora Cheadle [00:22:27]: But things like taking a really good multivitamin, taking vitamin d. Vitamin d is something that's essential, and so many of us are deficient in vitamin d. And when you are low in vitamin d, it can lead to depression. Well, again, hello. Going through infidelity is very depressing. I need all the support. I need all the help that I can get. So, yeah, let me supplement my vitamin d.

Lora Cheadle [00:22:57]: If it's gonna help, it needs help. It can help. The other thing is b vitamins. We burn a lot of b vitamins when we're under stress. Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn. Supplementing with your b vitamins can help give you that energy to help keep you online so you can manage the stress. Magnesium. There's seven forms of magnesium, which I didn't know, but they're all seven forms are utilized in our bodies differently and they can help us relax.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:27]: Well, do you need some sleep support? Maybe magnesium can help. Maybe vitamin d for the depression. Maybe vitamin b, the b complex for your stress. Like, there's some simple things that we can do. And no. I'm not talking about, like, pedaling high end vitamins. I I know I know there's some high end things out there that are really, really great and really, really effective and things like that. But by the same token, there are so many things you can just go to Costco and pick up a big old bottom of bottle of b complex, and it's gonna help.

Lora Cheadle [00:23:59]: And it's in service of not only getting you through this present moment, but in building the body that you want ten years from now, twenty years from now. Whether you're with this partner or with a new partner or you're gloriously on your own, don't you wanna be vibrant and strong and healthy and happy? Yeah. I don't wanna look like the haggard woman who has been through hell and back. I wanna look through look like the strong, powerful woman I feel like inside. And to me, it's really that blend of that inside, I want to feel strong. Outside, I want to look strong. Inside, I want to feel beautiful. Outside, I wanna look beautiful.

Lora Cheadle [00:24:43]: I want congruence between how I look and how I feel. It's not that I'm decorating this body to impress other people or attract a new partner or impress my, you know, my husband. I want to look how I feel and I want to feel good. And I wanna look like I feel good. And I wanna look at myself in the mirror and smile and be like, yeah. And I wanna look down at my body, and I wanna like what I see, and I want to hike, and I want to run around, and I want to break out into a dance break when a song comes on that I really like and not be like, oh, ow. I can't do it. Oh, oh, oh.

Lora Cheadle [00:25:25]: I want to take on the world, and I wanna look like I wanna take on the world. So that's why I mentioned nutrition. And then closely following nutrition is fitness. And again, I'm not preaching that you need to go change your life and have a fitness routine. Although I think you know this about me, maybe not. I've taught fitness since 1988. '19 '80 '8. I graduated from high school in '87.

Lora Cheadle [00:25:56]: I started teaching aerobics in 1988, and I have pretty much taught nonstop since then. All forms of group exercise. I love group exercise. Not only do you get a fun, good workout, but you have a fun community. You've got a schedule. You go to the club at a certain time. You've got your class. You've got your regulars.

Lora Cheadle [00:26:18]: You've got the music. You're moving. Whether it's, like, the hardest workout or the easiest workout or somewhere in between doesn't sometimes matter. It just matters that you're out there and you're moving and you're grooving and you're connected and people notice when you're gone. And that's nice. It's nice to be in a community of other people doing healthy things and to have people notice when you're gone. And in my community, we do, like, these little group happy hours about twice a year. We'll just meet at a restaurant or go see a movie, and we'll just connect because we're supporting each other and it's fun.

Lora Cheadle [00:26:56]: And and in my case, I teach up at the rec center now, and most of the women in my class are in their seventies. But it's a beautiful connection, And we all care about each other and being fit feels good. Now here's the psychological component of fitness beyond all of the regular components. Like you will live longer. You will have a better quality of life. You will look better. You, like, you will have less aches, pains, ailments, all of that. There is no downside to having a fitness program.

Lora Cheadle [00:27:35]: But I think what I really want to talk about is the somatic piece of fitness that I think gets overlooked a lot of times. Somatics is just another word for using the body, and we can use our body to make us feel a certain way. So I wish you could just talk back to me here. What are some of the words that you think about about how infidelity made you feel? It made me feel weak. It made me feel stupid. It made me feel ugly. It made me feel worthless. It made me feel broken.

Lora Cheadle [00:28:11]: It made me feel all of those things. Think about all of those things that infidelity made you feel. K. Got your list? Now here's what's magic about that. What kind of exercise is the opposite of that? Take the word that you feel. I felt crushed. I felt broken. What is the opposite of crushed and broken? Maybe it's expanded.

Lora Cheadle [00:28:47]: Instead of crushed, I'm expanded. That's where flaunt comes from. Instead of crumpled, we are flaunting. We are expanded. Instead of broken, we are whole. Instead of weak and stupid, we are strong and powerful. First step is taking the word that you feel. Second step is finding the word that is on the opposite side of that, and the third step is doing that thing physically.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:22]: When you feel weak and broken, get to the gym and lift some weight. Show your strength. Move that body. I am broken, and I am weak, and I'm pumping this iron, and I'm doing squats. And you don't even really need to know what what to do. You can just go to the weight room and read the directions on the weights. If you were feeling agitated, you know that feeling where you're like, I can't settle down. I can't settle down.

Lora Cheadle [00:29:52]: I can't settle down. And you're twitchy. That's adrenaline pumping through your body. Get it out. Don't let it twitch. It's trying to get out. Shake. Dance.

Lora Cheadle [00:30:03]: A lot of my somatic processing songs in my program, we do shaking and we do dancing, move it out. That could be a great Zumba class, a great dance class. Shake it, move it, twist it, twirl it, aerobics. Move it. If you were like, I'm so trapped, run. Get on the treadmill, walk, run, sprint, do something. But instead of being trapped, set yourself free. Do you need flexibility and flow? Maybe you need yoga because you feel stuck.

Lora Cheadle [00:30:43]: How many of you raise your hand? Raise your hand. How many of you have said I feel so stuck? Let's try some breathing yoga and stretch. Let's get you unstuck physically. Let's get into those hip flexors. Let's get into the hamstrings. Let's stretch the waist and the back. Let's stretch the heart and get you unstuck. When you do physically that thing, it helps bring online what you want to feel because we can feel and sense our bodies.

Lora Cheadle [00:31:18]: And it's hard. It's really, really hard to have an amazing workout where you've lifted some weights and you feel powerful and strong and you've pushed through and you've done something difficult. And maybe you've spent some time on a stair master or in a class, and you're you're sweaty and you're wrung out, but you're strong and powerful, it's hard to go around feeling sorry for yourself when you've worked out. When you have done something that builds your body and you have constructed yourself, it's really hard to feel broken because you were providing yourself with evidence that you were not broken. The evidence is look who I am. The evidence is look at what this body can do. The evidence is feeling yourself differently. So that's that fitness piece.

Lora Cheadle [00:32:12]: Yes. Fitness is important. There's nothing I can tell you knew about that probably, but let's talk about the psychological impact of fitness, and that's where I want you to focus. And that's where we're gonna be focusing during our ninety days together in our little hot girl summer. We're going to start proving to ourselves. I still got it. Or maybe I got it for the first time, but we're going to be using our bodies, not in a punishing way. Like I gotta do 12 more reps, but in a flowy, dancy, sexy way.

Lora Cheadle [00:32:48]: And one of the things that I'm gonna bring in is a lot of the sexy dance. I think, you know, I dance burlesque. I've I've got many different yoga less burlesque classes, and we're gonna do that together. We're gonna do that together live on Zoom, or you can watch the replay just in short chunks, just in, like, thirty minute, quote, exercise chunks. But we're gonna learn some of the moves. We're gonna learn how to flow. We're gonna learn how to embody and hold that energy because that was taken from you. Your sensuality, your sexuality, your feeling of being chosen and desired was taken from you when your partner cheated.

Lora Cheadle [00:33:33]: And it is time to take that back. Your joy, your pleasure for you, not for anybody else. So I'm gonna teach you how to get in your body, how to move in a way that feels sensuous to you. You're gonna learn the moves and it's gonna be fun. And here's what I wanna say about that. Can this be triggering? Oh, yes. It can be triggering. And if you're sitting here thinking, I love hate this, Lora.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:04]: I hear you. I love hate it too. Because there's so much societal conditioning about what it means when a woman is sexy. Ah, that's scary. Scary, scary, scary. It's not scary. It's who you are. You have been conditioned to not be fully expressed in your body.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:24]: You have been told, oh my God, what will people think? There's a lot of layers of conditioning. And no, we can't really undo it all in ninety days, but you know what? We're gonna take a really good start. We're going to get you into your body. We are going to get you flowing freely. You can have your camera off. You can be alone at home and nobody's gonna know. And this is what I want you to know. Most people cry.

Lora Cheadle [00:34:50]: Most people cry at some point during my sexy dance classes because we're out of our heads and we're into our bodies and we are loving ourselves. We're not talking anything over the top here. We're talking shoulder rolls. We're talking hips circles. We're talking peeling the glove off and twinkling our fingers up our leg. We're talking flirty, sexy, fun moves, but it can be so triggering. So triggering. And my ask for you is to let those tears flow.

Lora Cheadle [00:35:23]: Let your heart open. Notice where you feel uncomfortable and just love yourself through that. And then at the end of the day, at the end of the class, at the end of the summer, you're just gonna be laughing and feeling so much more confident and free and expressed in who you are. So these are those pieces. Let's talk about hormones. Talk to your doctor, go to Mini Health. Send me a message. I can talk to you about some stuff.

Lora Cheadle [00:35:59]: I'm clear on the other side, but get yourself feeling better. Hormones are powerful. And if they're out of whack, everything is gonna be out of whack. And this is not about a hormonal woman. No. No. No. No.

Lora Cheadle [00:36:13]: No. This is about how can I support myself so I can be in my right mind and I can feel competent and confident again? Nutrition, fitness, wellness, sensuality, expression. The other thing that I think is really important and often gets downplayed, but just this whole concept of beauty and aging. And we talked about this a lot at, Shailene Johnson's Can't Be More last week. They had some plastic surgeons there, and they talked about all the different procedures that were available from nose jobs to, like, the eyelid lifts to face lifts and deep plane lifts and the different kinds of lasers. And there's so much out there. And I think my biggest takeaway from that was it doesn't matter what you do or what you don't do. But what does matter is that you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin.

Lora Cheadle [00:37:12]: And, yeah, we're all gonna age. And, yeah, things are gonna shift and change, but are you happy? And it's that again, it's that inward and that outward. What can I do to build myself up inside, and what can I do to make the outsides match my big beautiful inside? And a couple weeks ago, I went and had IPL. That's the pulse laser on my face for dark spots. I even had it done on the back of my hands. And it was one of those things that I'm cut not really disappointed, but not thrilled with the results on my face. But, oh my god, so thrilled with my hands. I didn't realize how the dark spots on my hands really made me feel.

Lora Cheadle [00:37:57]: And now I look down and I have these, like, beautiful white hands. And I'm like, oh, this is amazing. It makes me feel really good. And my commitment to myself is that I'm gonna start leaning in more. I have an appointment for Botox tomorrow. Again, I'm not talking full level face lift. If you wanna have a full level face lift, do it. But I'm gonna start exploring some things.

Lora Cheadle [00:38:25]: I've had Botox in the past, and it was fine. But I'm like, now I'm just gonna go. Before I was, like, very conservative. Oh, let's do a little bit around my eyes before my TEDx because I I just don't want these smile lines. And let's just do some in my forehead, but let's go light. And I feel like the energy I'm going in with tomorrow is more like, hey. What can you do? What do you see? What what might make me a little bit happier here? And, again, not for the sake of just being beautiful from all of this stuff. But you know what? How can I support me? And even if it was superficial, I mean, let's just call that out.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:02]: Even if it's just total superficial and I wanna be hot, who cares? It's my life. Right? I gotta do me. I wanna look good. I don't care when I look bad, but I like to look good too. Because I have built my confidence to that level that it doesn't matter, and I'm okay because I'm doing this for me. I'm not doing this for somebody else. This takes me back. If you have read my book, Flaunt, drop your cover, and reveal your smart, sexy, and spiritual self, one of the terms that I coined was the term naked self worth.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:40]: And same thing, I know some people are triggered by that. They're like, naked, infidelity. Oh, we can't talk about sex. We can't talk about sex because this was a sexual injury. Okay. Hang with me. Yes. Can that be triggering? Yes.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:52]: Hearing about sex, is that triggering? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Becoming intimate again with your partner. Difficult.

Lora Cheadle [00:39:58]: Yes. Triggering. Yes. But here's the thing. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. Ignoring your own sensuality, sexuality, beauty, fun, joy, it's not about them. It's about you. It's not about, I wanna look so good that I'm going to that it's like a revenge makeover.

Lora Cheadle [00:40:23]: Even if it is, let it be. It's about you. If you want to look good at whatever level, look good. But the concept of naked self worth is that you are just as comfortable in your own skin with yourself fully propped up, makeup, hair, filter on the phone, 10 pounds gone, that your level of confidence and self awareness as as your perfect ideal self is the same level as your confidence if you were woken up out of a deep sleep, had to put your 20 year old glasses on, your holy sweats, and run to the grocery store and you just ran into somebody? That, yes, you can acknowledge not looking my best now, but my level of self worth is the same. I have naked self worth, meaning I don't need anything else to make me worthy. I know that I am worthy for who I am. I know that flawed, broken, messy, whatever is a part of who I am, and I accept that. And that's what I want us to build this summer, but forever.

Lora Cheadle [00:41:42]: I want us to build that level of self worth, that level of naked self worth that no matter what happens, I'm on it. I've got this. I am worthy. I am connected. I honor myself. And it's a lot about that sovereignty and that self honoring. How much are you respecting and honoring and loving yourself day in and day out? For me, this is for me. That does include doing some beauty rituals.

Lora Cheadle [00:42:16]: That does include doing my little, you know, face lift not face lift, face facial patches. What are those little things? Like, you do a facial and you lay there and you put a little mask on your face. I've got so many of the little fun beauty things. I have, like, the Nura laser. I have, the Ferrero bear. I do fun things on my face. I just got my haircut today. I do my own color.

Lora Cheadle [00:42:45]: I hate getting my nails done, but I do that periodically. But I want to feel good. So what are the things that I'm doing to care for myself because I want to feel good? I want my body to be in good shape. I want to learn new makeup tricks for women with older skin. My eyes are starting to sag. What can I do differently? I've recently changed my eye shadow because it didn't work the same way that it used to work. I've experimented with facial exercises. Like, I'm doing all of these things because it's fun, because I want to feel good.

Lora Cheadle [00:43:25]: And when I do things that make me feel good, then I feel better. I still have that self worth and that self confidence, but it gives me a lift. And what I want for you is that lift too. What I want for you is permission to go do whatever the heck you need to do. I want you to have permission to buy the new clothes or get the makeover or go see the hair specialist or go to a med spa and see see what it would take. See what somebody recommends, whether it's fillers or Botox or a facial or whatever. Go check it out. You have my permission.

Lora Cheadle [00:44:09]: You have my permission to make yourself feel as beautiful and as worthy and as sacred and as adored and as pampered as you want. And if you're like, Ick, I don't want any of it. Perfect. Know what makes you happy and lean into that. Do what makes you happy. This is all about flaunt. That first step of flaunt is f, find your fetish. I want to be girly.

Lora Cheadle [00:44:40]: I want to have fun. I want to be beautiful. I want to feel sexy and powerful and strong in my own skin. I don't wanna feel frumpy. I don't wanna feel out of shape. I don't wanna feel embarrassed. I don't wanna feel like I hate my body. I hate my clothes.

Lora Cheadle [00:44:56]: I hate my hair. I hate my face. I don't want to look at my summer vacation photos and be like, oh God, I don't want that experience. So I'm going to lean in to changing it. This is that sovereign peace. This is that power peace. We are not victims of life. We are not victims of aging, victims of circumstance, or even victims of infidelity.

Lora Cheadle [00:45:23]: What are the things that you can do to get your groove back, to take your groove back? What are the things that you can do to take back control of your life, of yourself, of your mental well-being, and to start having fun again? Friendship is hugely important. Connection is hugely important. As you know, if you're in my Facebook group, so many of the infidelity and betrayal recovery, like Facebook and support groups, are bitch sessions. We do not need another bitch session. I do not need another bitch session. It does not help. What we need is connection, community, support. What we need is to be able to have deep conversations, real conversations, meaningful conversations.

Lora Cheadle [00:46:05]: What we need to be able to say is, this is what I'm struggling with with intimacy. How did you get through it? Is this an aging thing? Maybe this is a hormonal thing. Maybe this has nothing to do with my relationship. Maybe this is my hormones. And to have somebody say, yes. Did you know estradiol vaginal cream can really help with vaginal dryness? I mean, sometimes it is that simple. Sometimes we get we waste. We waste so much time in our heads feeling like we're broken.

Lora Cheadle [00:46:37]: Oh my god. What's wrong? I will never be able to enjoy sex again. I'll never be able to love my partner again. I'm never gonna be able to love myself again. I'm broken. I'm there's solutions out there. Let me tell you. There are solutions for everything.

Lora Cheadle [00:46:55]: We just need to be vulnerable enough to ask, and we need to create that safe space. And that is my intention is I want to create this safe space for all of us so we can talk and we can share. I'm I'm feeling crazy about this. I'm feeling stressed about that. I don't know what to do here. Let's try this. Ask your doctor that. Have you tried this? Let's do this workout together.

Lora Cheadle [00:47:21]: Tell me about those tears. Because that is the only way we are going to get ourselves back. The more we hide, it's so valid if you don't wanna tell everybody in your world about the infidelity. So valid. I get that. But it's also hiding a lot that you're going through, and we can't heal when we're in hiding. We have to heal with each other. So many of the women that I coach, they want weekly sessions because it's a place to talk.

Lora Cheadle [00:47:52]: It's a place where they can show up and share, and they can ask hard questions because they have nobody else to talk to, because they're tired of being judged. And it's just so refreshing to be able to talk and connect. And that's what we're gonna create here. We're gonna create this community where you can talk to people, where you can say this is what's going on so you can get the help. Because like I said, there's solutions out there. It's just that sometimes we even have a hard time describing what the problem is. And that was something that the director of MidiHealth talked a lot about. She said that so often women don't they don't know what their symptoms are because the symptoms change.

Lora Cheadle [00:48:35]: Because like in perimenopause, when I said earlier, the hormones go up and down and up and down. For a week, you might have a hard time sleeping. For another week, it might be joint pain. For another week, it might be irritability. For another week, it might be night sweats. For another week, it might be a random hot flashes. Things happen and then women are like, I don't even know. I have all of these random little symptoms, and they don't make any sense, and they're not consistent.

Lora Cheadle [00:49:02]: And a lot of the medical providers have not been trained to recognize and realize when hormones are fluctuating, your symptoms will fluctuate. You're not crazy. You do not need a pat on the knee. You do not need to be told to deal with it. You need to talk to other people who are like, oh my god. Let me tell you. I feel crazy too. Let me tell you my symptoms are up and down or all over the place, but this is what balanced them out.

Lora Cheadle [00:49:29]: Let me tell you. This is how I felt. Let me tell you. This is what I was afraid of. This is what I was so afraid of, getting intimate with my partner again. And I had all these insecurities about my body and my performance and if I was good enough. So let's talk about that, shall we? Okay. Let's talk about that.

Lora Cheadle [00:49:46]: Who talks about that? Don't you wish everybody just talked about that? And then we all knew what each other knows. Because when we all share with each other about what we all know, pretty soon we're getting a more and more complete picture of what it really is rather than staying stuck in our head or reading random articles articles online. And, yes, there can be some amazing stuff online, but there can also be a lot of harmful stuff online and a lot of stuff written from a man's perspective or a woman who has not been through what you've been through's perspective. So come together, whether it's this ninety day program with me and all of us, or whether it's with somebody else, make sure it's a healthy community. Make sure the focus is acceptance, is curiosity, is being vulnerable, being authentic, and asking the hard questions. Make sure it's on solutions that make you feel better, that you're not shamed for or shut down for. Give yourself everything that you need and ultimately know that you deserve to feel really good. You deserve to feel really strong, free, healthy, vibrant, and joyful, and that you can.

Lora Cheadle [00:51:10]: Infidelity is not a death sentence. It does not mean the whole rest of your life is ruined. It just means that you need to integrate this thing, this awful thing into your heart, into your life in a new and powerful way. One of the stories that I have shared in the past, and I'll share it again real quick here, is when I was in Peru, I did a plant medicine journey, and I never thought I would have done something like that. The long and the short was it was about integration of the ugly into what I had thought was my perfect, beautiful, amazing life. I mean, after all, I had worked fifty some years on creating perfection. Right? I had done it all right, and all of a sudden, I'm given this. And how do I integrate this? And what I learned is some things can't be beautifully integrated.

Lora Cheadle [00:52:17]: They just can't. Some things just are, and they are ugly, and they are a part of it. And we can't dress things up, and we can't love it away. We just have to deal with it. We just have to let it be there, and we have to let it be ugly. And, you know, I'll share the full story again next week because we're we're getting close on time here. But it's a powerful story about integrating that ugliness in our life and just accepting it, that it is what it is. We can't sugarcoat.

Lora Cheadle [00:53:00]: We can't pretend. We just have to be with what is. So I really hope you join me this summer. I hope you join me for ninety days of connection and fun and adventure and friendship and ritual and dance and beauty and joy and strength and power and all of that. I really hope you join me. Sparkleallseason.com for more information and to sign up. And you know me, I'm always available. If you wanna reach out, reach out.

Lora Cheadle [00:53:33]: We can Zoom. You can send me an email, and I can answer all of your questions. But what I want you to know more than anything is you can get your groove back. You can get your groove back and then some. You can move into midlife, second chapter, third act, whatever it is, with so much passion and joy and freedom, and you could be the fullest, most vibrant version of yourself, maybe that you have ever been. So thank you for listening. As usual, always remember to flaunt exactly who you are because who you are is always more than enough.

Lora Cheadle [00:54:20]: Tune in next time to flaunt, find your sparkle, and create a life you love after infidelity or betrayal with Lora Cheadle every Wednesday at 7AM and 7PM Eastern Standard Time on syndicated DreamVision seven radio network. Uncover the truth of what's possible for you on the other side of betrayal and develop the skills and strategies necessary to embrace the future and flourish today. Download your free Betrayal Recovery Toolkit at betrayalrecoveryguide.com.