160 - Let's Talk About The Power of Saying "No" To Clients While Maintaining Your Values & Sanity

Welcome to the business of beautiful spaces, a podcast that's specifically for

interior designers and decorators. This is the podcast for designers and

decorators who love creating beautiful spaces, but also know that building a

profitable business it will make it all sustainable. Hi, I'm Laura Thornton and

after nearly 30 years in the interior design industry and building a seven

figure design firm, I know firsthand how lonely it can feel running your own

business. Making big decisions without a boardroom, without a business partner,

or another executive team member to walk things through. That's exactly why

this podcast exists. Think of me as your interior design bestie. The place you

come for honest conversations, real action items, and a clear to-do list that

you can apply today to move the needle forward and improve your bottom line.

And if you can't get the answers you're looking for here, one-on-one

mentorship with me is always available because no designer and decorator

should have to figure this out alone. My goal with every episode is simple. To help

you build a more profitable, confident design business, and propel you into

sustainable, successful future. So let's dive in. Welcome back to another episode

of the business of beautiful spaces. I'm your host Laura Thornton and today we're

stepping into a topic that every entrepreneur and especially interior designers

struggle with. And that is how to say no, no to extra revisions, no to unrealistic

timelines, no to scope creep, no to last minute changes, no to being available

24-7. And sometimes we just have to say no to a project all together. And this

isn't about being difficult. And I know what you're all thinking because you're

probably in the same boat as I am. We've all taken a hit in the last year with

our businesses. And we're all wanting to get that next project. But it is

about being clear. It is about being confident. And it's about being committed to

your values, your process, and the level of service that you're here to provide

to your clients. So today we are going to explore why no is an essential part of

our business. How to say no will still surrounding war will still sounding

warm and professional ways to protect our boundaries proactively. How to redirect

clients without damaging our client relationships. And how saying no will

actually build trust and confidence in us on our client's behalf. So let's

dive in because this is a game-changing conversation. And why saying no is

actually a leadership skill, I think, is a big way to take this lesson. So most

of us were raised especially as women to be agreeable, accommodating, and

helpful. And well, generosity is a beautiful trait. In business, it is not

profitable. It leads to burnout, resentment, broken boundaries, misaligned

expectations, financial loss, and sometimes losing the love of the work. We all

know we've all had it where we're like, why am I doing this job? Like why am I

doing this? But here's the truth. Every time that you say yes to something that's

misaligning and you know it, you feel it. You know it in your gut. You know you

should say no, but somehow you've agreed to do something you didn't want to do.

And you're saying no to something that actually matters. You're saying no to

your creativity being compromised. You're going to say yes to your process and

you're going to live confidently by that. You are saying yes to protecting your

energy, protecting your profitability, protecting your peace, protecting your

family and friends, and your future clients. No is not negative. It's protection

layer. It's a filter. It's a standard. And the bottom line is its leadership. Great

businesses are built on clarity. And clarity requires being willing to say no. And

no can come in many different ways. So I'm going to cover that just so you don't

think that you'll want you to start just saying no, not going to do it. No, not

going to do it. It's also goes along with boundaries, which I know we talked

about recently in another episode. But the most common moments when designers

need to say no, this is what I want to cover. So let's name them because awareness

matters. When a client asks you for workout side scope, what's been agreed

upon what your contract says, can you add this for me? Can you do this for me?

This is the fastest way to lose profit. And also you've done it once. They're

going to expect you to do it again and again. When timelines are unrealistic,

can we have that full design presentation next week? It literally happened to

me this morning where I've given some dates and they've tried to up it by two

weeks because they're traveling. No, I am going to end up giving you a

compromised presentation. That's not going to work for us. So it's a hard

no. The other one is when clients want unlimited revisions. You know, by

revision one to five, there's a problem. It's a communication problem and it's

the boundaries problem. Our contract states very clearly that there's one

revision included. And it needs to be within X amount of days from the

presentation. A, it keeps us on our timeline, but B, it keeps the client

present. It doesn't fall to, you know, their busy schedule. And now it's a month

later. And none of the pricing is relative. We have to make sure that there

is one revision. And if they are not clear about those changes or taking it as a

priority, then we know there's going to be more. So suddenly you are now

redesigning this project for free with time that wasn't allotted for. Another

one is when communication becomes excessive text messages at all hours. This

strains your creativity. This is also why I don't allow texts. My clients

do not have my cell phone number unless it's an absolute emergency.

Everything is to be a phone call to the office in email. That way it's

tracked. And that way there is proof of what's being asked and what the

communication has been. A phone call and texts are to me not, sorry, a text

rather than over a phone call is not preferred. I don't, I don't think text

for me personally is a professional way of doing business. And therefore,

we don't accept it as a former communication in our office. Another one is when

clients want to bypass your process. Skipping steps creates mistakes. It creates

delays and it creates stress mostly for you because they don't know the

difference. Also, another one, when the project is not the right fit from the

start and we know it's not the right fit. We've all done it. It doesn't feel

good. I don't want to take the project. I don't like the person, but I do it

anyway because it's got profit margin and a need to have cashflow. Oh, the red

flags are there. The red flags were there from go. So saying no, we'll save you

all this time effort and headache, but also freeze up room for the next actual

project that will probably make you more money to come in. So another one is when

your pricing is challenged or negotiated or calmed shopped. Your pricing is a

system, not a suggestion. I always say my job is not to find you the cheapest

products. My job is to find you products that align with your aesthetic, with

your economic investment and with the vendors that we have preferred

relationships with so that I can control the process, control the timelines, and

control the quality. These moments are invitations for you to reinforce your

values and protect your business. So what is the mindset behind being able to

confidently say no? And before you deliver a no, you need to have this internal

clarity behind it. Remember, you are not rejecting the client. You're

protecting the project. You're not being inflexible. You're being consistent.

You're not losing business. You're saving your sanity. You're not limiting

the relationship. You are strengthening it. Designers who say yes to everything

tend to get walked over. Designers who say no with confidence get respect.

Clients want structure. They want certainty. They want clarity. They want a

leader and leadership requires a level of discernment. So how do you say great?

How do you say no with grace, with warmth and professionalism? And here is the

part that everyone wants. What do you actually say? I always teach the framework

of a firm redirect, reinforce those boundaries and offer a next step, four

steps. Let's go through each one out of scope request, for example, a firm.

I love that idea. Thank you for sharing that idea with me. It is out of our

scope. Currently, it's not in our contract. I would be happy to create a price,

excuse me, a quote for that work. And I will forward it to you for approval

along with a new contract that includes that scope of work. So we have

affirmed, we have redirected, we've reinforced the boundaries and we have

offered next steps. Let's try scenario number two, unrealistic timelines.

We're going to affirm by saying I completely understand you wanting to move

more quickly, but we need to redirect and say in order to maintain the quality

of the design, we'll need the full timeline that we outlined. We're going to

reinforce by saying rushing this phase would compromise the end result. And then

our next step is going to be let's revisit the deadlines together to make sure

everything aligns. How about another scenario? Too many revisions. I would say the

best way to get this out of your life is to make sure that your contract has

it stated very clearly what you are going to include, but they're going to ask

you anyway, and you're going to say, I appreciate your thoughtful feedback.

And we're going to redirect this by saying, we've now completed the

revisions that are included in our package and our contract. We're going to

reinforce by saying anything additional will be billed accordingly. And next

steps will be let me know if you'd like us to continue refining. I would be

happy to proceed. Okay, another scenario, communication that becomes into your

office outside business hours. You're going to affirm by saying thanks so much

for your mission. You're going to redirect by saying I saw it pop up after

hours. You're going to reinforce your boundaries by saying and as part of our

communication policy, all updates are handled during business hours. And then

the next step, I will review this first thing tomorrow or Monday or whatever

that happens to be. And you're basically defining your boundaries without the

edge. So one of the secrets to reducing conflict is proactive communication.

You can have these boundaries outlined in your welcome guide. And if you

don't already have ours, there is a template that's for free. Just go into

the show notes and it lives there. And you can have a free welcome guide

template from us. It can live in your what to expect guide after your clients

have signed. They now have a what to expect guide. And they know that that's

your boundaries. It can be in your contract, although it is not legally

protected. It's just a behavioral guide. But I would include also your

revision policies in your contract, your response times, your structure,

your pricing structure, timeline expectations, any add on charges, any

meeting limits, the clearer your contract can be, the fewer uncomfortable

conversations you'll have. Now, we all know our clients don't read that contract

very clearly. So that is why I have it in multiple places in the business.

So that way, guaranteed that the client has seen it in multiple places.

So if you ever do have an issue, it can be referenced as, as you know,

from our welcome guide, our expectation guide and our contract, it

states blah, blah, blah. Also, I would have an our contract and in any of

your client facing guides, your project management tool. So when clients

have the access to timelines, deliverables and progress updates, they will

stop asking for things prematurely. So again, we give our clients a

timeline when, for example, if it's a renovation, we will explicitly have

it written in the presentation, the weeks that it's going to take or the

months, or we do it in weeks. So if it's 16 weeks, 20 weeks, 24 weeks, we

have that explicitly written out. It is then also translated into the

contract. And then weekly, our clients do get an update from us. We do it on

Thursdays so that there's an email that regardless if there's actually

nothing to update or maybe there is, they do get something that says, we're

working on it, everything's in place, you know, see you next week or whatever

the case may be. But then they, they have a chance to write us back on Friday

before going into the weekend so that we're not worried about having a

plethora of inbox messages on Saturday when our clients can't reach us.

This way it gives them time to write back if there's a concern. And

typically you're not going to get one because they know you've got this and

they feel like they've been updated. So it really does help reduce any

commiss, miscommunication drastically. I know a lot of designers will use

Asana Monday IV. We use studio designer here, but a lot of people will use

Asana and include their clients in that loop. So whatever works best for you

in your process, it's a great management tool to be able to not have your

client reach out to you. I always feel like if they have to reach out to me

and ask me what's going on or where we are, if something's happened, then we

failed. And then we take that information and we work it back into our

process so that therefore it doesn't happen again. So the other thing that

you can, you can do is have email templates. So pre-written responses for

out of scope requests, extra revisions after our messages, timeline

adjustments. This way, you don't have to reinvent this wheel every single

time. You can just have them living in your, we have email templates here at

Thornton Design. And we would just let that live there. And the next time this

happens, whether it happens to me or someone else in the studio, they can

very easily grab that template. And it's in a verbiage and brand aligned

for our business. And we're not worried about somebody going rogue and being

rude. So everything has been made with a cheerful yet professional tone is

what I like to call it. But this also will save emotional energy. And it

keeps all that messaging consistent. And it's definitely something that will

be saving you time if it's, if it's templated. So there are scheduling

tools also like Calendly that can help you control your availability for your

clients. And then clients cannot book outside your boundaries because the

software actually won't allow it to happen. It's also allowing you to keep

control of your calendar. If you listened to that episode a few weeks ago,

that's a really great tool. And then you don't have to even say no. The

program did it for you. So as you can see, by learning how to say no in a

polite and professional way, it actually builds stronger relationships. And

it may feel counterintuitive, but there happens. This is what happens when you

say no with grace, you're going to build trust. Your clients know that you

won't say yes to something that hurts the project. You establish expertise

because people trust a leader who has a clear process, not someone who bends

at every whim or every what crack request. Clients will feel more guided.

Boundaries create structure structure create safety. And if you can reduce

that miscommunication, the no really clarifies expectations before a problem

can spiral. You are elevating your brand by doing so. Clients talk about how

supported and guided they have felt throughout your process. And that becomes

your reputation. That is huge because that is the things that they're going to

remember when they recommend you to somebody else. And most designers

can fear that saying no will upset their clients. But the truth, clients

respect you more when you stand confidently in your expertise. You are

giving them confidence in you when you know that boundary line. And when

saying no actually means to walk away, like I said, we've all had these

moments. We've all had the red flags. I've had them too. And even though I

had them, I still showed up at, you know, the two hour consultation and I

still had the red flags. And it's hard to say no. It's hard to say no to a

potentially great project. But you know, you're not really jiving with the

person that you're meeting with. You know that you're going to have some

headbutting. And you know, it's not a right fit. So some of those red flags

could be disrespecting your boundaries. And the big one for me is negotiating

my pricing. Like, why would you want someone who doesn't know their pricing?

Why would you want me to discount my time and my value and my worth?

Because somewhere it's going to be sacrifice to gain that back. Or if

they're going to rush your process, that's never a good one. You know that

planning is the most important part of any design project. Black of trust,

they're questioning everything that you're doing and saying, communication

that feels chaotic, like they don't, they're not giving it the time it

deserves. How are you going to do a good job for them if they can't communicate

with you and tell you exactly what they need? An energy that feels heavy or

misaligned. I always call it the gut feeling like I always know my gut if it's

not a right fit. And now at this age, I just say no, I, I don't have time.

I don't have energy. And to be honest, I am losing my ability to be polite.

I am just saying things like they are. And I always joke that I can't imagine

what I'm going to be like when I'm 80. I'm not going to be very pleasant.

But it's just something I know that won't do me a favor in the future.

So why am I going to put both of us through that? So not every client has to

be your client and protecting your peace and your business is really a

strategy. So saying, saying no is really more of a boundary. It is a

commitment to excellence. It really is. Like it's more than just learning

to back away or say, no, thank you. It really is a commitment to bringing

your bar of quality and excellent hire. And it will change your business.

So when you say no, you are protecting your creativity. You are protecting

your process. You are protecting your team. And I don't mean just team if

you don't have a team in your office. I mean, you're protecting everyone

that works with you. Any of your vendors, any of your trades, you are

protecting all of those people. You are also protecting your energy.

You're protecting your profitability and you're protecting your clients

even when they don't realize it. No is not negative. It is super duper

powerful. It is clarifying. It's grounding. And it's an absolute essential

when running a successful design business. You deserve a business that

supports you, not one that drains you. And the word no use gracefully and

confidently is one of your strongest tools. So I hope you got a lot of today's

episode because I know you hear this a lot. I hear it a lot too. I hear it in

podcasts. I hear it in seminars. I attend. But nobody seems to go deeper

with it to explain what does that mean? Because we all want to take on all the

projects that are coming our way. I know I'm in the same boat. So it's not

just learning to say no, it's learning to say it in a way that is going to be

reframed to give you confidence in your processes and in your business.

If today's episode gave you any perspective on boundaries or empowered you

to stand more confidently in your values, please share it with another

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our upcoming episodes. But for now, thanks so much for listening. And I hope

you have a great week. See you next week.