#170 - The Kid Mero | PodSearch.io

Opa! Welcome everybody to Stobby's World, 904-800-STOP.

Call in, we'll solve all your problems.

Very happy to have on the couch.

Our boy, the Kid Mero.

How are we doing, bro?

Thanks for coming, man. Yeah.

I've been trying to come out here for a minute.

Fuck, dude. I thought this was just screening your emails, dude.

This is the second I heard about it.

I was like, yeah, let's get him on.

So, this fucking...

That's the problem when your gatekeeper is your dumb friend.

When your booker, your talent booker is truly your dumbest.

I mean, one of the dumbest guys I know,

it controls so much of my life and career,

it's fucking scary.

I was very smart.

I was always smart and also racist.

I was like, yo, you know what?

Yeah.

A very intelligent Asian man.

Smart, yeah.

Sometimes, you know, that's a man train.

Yeah, yeah.

The freaking man.

Shit, El, did you hear that?

You're about to get fucking...

You're about to get replaced.

You're about to get replaced by that man.

He's got to be replaced by that man.

I'm not disrespecting him.

He hates it.

But they can't do what this savant Albanian braids us.

Bro, you're not able to open up a pizzeria in the Bronx world?

Exactly.

I'm just trying to raise seed money

for my Greek slash pizza place that I've planned.

It is the classic Albanian move, every Greek restaurant is run by Albanians.

They come in, steal our trade secrets.

And then they start, they open up.

Yeah, it is, it is very funny.

I'm sure I can't even, it makes me sick to my somebody to think about who else were

not getting on the podcast.

Because eldest is not looking at his fucking emails.

Doug.

It's, if I look at his, if I look at, he probably doesn't even log, I get, I get emails

from him from his personal account all the time.

We have a business account.

I, everyone's got the Stavvy.biz.

He's got eldest and Stavvy.biz.

I have not received an email from eldest and Stavvy.biz for years at this point.

He probably didn't even know the fucking password.

That's my profile.

He's scared to tell you.

He's like, yo, listen, we've been hoping for a long time.

He has not a resetting.

I don't know.

They keep sending the codes to a phone.

I don't, that's not mine.

That's not mine.

But he also's getting the code.

I've been to embarrassed to ask.

No, that's really, this is not laughing hard enough.

And so I know part of this is true.

That's my professional screening email.

That's the first line of defense.

Then it moves over to the personal.

Bro, I actually, I swear, I'm like, yo, what's the password to this one?

Yeah.

To the business email again?

Oh, man.

It's like, no, it's in a Google Doc.

We all have it.

Yeah.

It was the keeper of the passwords.

We'd all be fucked.

Oh, man.

Luckily, we do have a system, a four-pronged system.

I have, I have, I literally hired three of my best friends.

And, you know, between all of them, they're one good employee.

That's how it goes.

I had like a night that took like five hours one time.

I got my new phone, where I was like texting Ben.

I was like, do you know the TikTok password?

I was like, hey, look at for this code.

I think it's coming the earphone.

So literally what you're talking about is how this business is real.

Listen, it happens to be all the time except it's with my child, who is 10 years old.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Absolutely.

I bet your kid would be almost as good as Eld.

They would have, they would definitely understand technology much better.

My son is, he'd be freaking it up here with a bad list, you know what I'm saying?

Reading below grade level, but I love you, baby.

Shout out to him.

You'll fix that list, Bob, any day now, but he's definitely going to watch this shit, too.

He watches everything.

He's not supposed to watch.

Shout out to Avery.

Yeah, I mean, the problem, and we'll get to you, but let's keep shitting on Eld is here

for a little bit.

The problem with Eld is that I don't, so you're for the Bronx.

You know, you're, you deal with the, who you know, the Albanians, you know.

It's all sorts of the earth full out, but, which feels like an Australian racial slur.

I don't know if it is, let's leave it out to be, the L is doing, that's a load bearing

L.

Yeah.

If we lose that L, we're both really fucked actually, so everyone, and let's just spell

that out.

Yeah.

Like I hung out there's a big Albanian population of course.

Yeah.

Shout out to Pulling Park Rail idigav.

Yeah.

You know, doodh, doodh, D.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they, they, in the mix, you know what I mean?

Like, they're in the blending, I was saying blending in, but like part, they more, I,

I said this will make them all Latino to an the Puerto Rican Italian.

That's right.

You know what I'm saying?

Right, right.

Yeah.

Albanian is over Bronx Albania overtakes all 100% and the point I'm trying to make is that

eldest is absolutely not that at all.

His family came, they actually came through Greece, their refugees in Greece came straight

to Baltimore.

His family took up, now he did not, they took him out of the Albanian community in Baltimore.

So he's like, he's like, he's like, he's basically growing essentially a zoo.

Oh, he's not a free range Albanian.

He's not.

No, no, no, he's not, not grass fed, eldest is like, you know, when like a fox gets

domesticated and like pisses everywhere and it's excited, it's not wild anymore, so

that's all those Albanians, I should have gone for, they at least, they're bringing something

to the table.

They bring that Albanian resourcefulness to the table, eldest has none of that, eldest

red, eldest is reading French literature in high school, I'm not outside, like the

Wanna know.

Not outside, inside reading Madame Bovery next to his grandmother, who's knitting but

that's the kind of Albanian we're dealing with.

No.

No, no, no for multiple families, he's more Albanian friends, tried to show him firearms

and he got scared, in fact, yeah they didn't get scared.

Oh, what are we doing.

Are you throwing this up?

Oh, yeah.

That's unbelievable.

It's awesome.

Albanian symbolism is, they have a great, they have a lot of good stuff.

That flag is incredible.

The flag is incredible.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

It goes crazy.

It's kind of like, it's kind of like takes all the, you know, we're in a time where we

can't really, like in the 90s and 2000s, you could almost do backhanded compliments to

like Nazi style.

Oh, yeah.

You could be like, listen, the uniforms were good.

The colors.

The other stuff.

Not all bad.

Now we can't even do that.

Obviously, they've taken us to even, you know, you're going to talk about dusters.

They're bad.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Even the man, they've kind of hurt the matrix rewatch now because you're like, I'm

watching.

I'm like, oh, damn.

I'm like, oh, there's no red accents.

That would really be tough.

Thank God it's all black.

The two vinyl twins.

Fuck me up.

Oh, my God.

That's a good boy.

Are you all the perfect?

Are you all the final?

Is this commentary?

But the Albanian flag kind of has that vibe with none of the supremacy, you know, it

looks like like something blood related.

Yes, you know what I mean?

It looks like an offshoot of the blood.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

The white Muslim blood.

You know, what would have a double legal which exists and I think that's how that is

what Albanians are.

Pretty much.

White Muslim blood.

Right here.

I'm saying in the Bronx all day.

There's some, there's some mountain tribalism going on.

Sure.

You can see that in the flag.

Sure.

There's some blood oaths that they still, you know, hold in the country and parliament.

That's how they get fucking laws passed is that they have to take blood oaths probably.

Their problem is just them.

Smoker parliament.

Yeah.

They don't have C-span because it's so cloudy in there from all the smoke.

That's Albanian.

Fuck you.

The legislative body.

Actually, we have to cover them on Kush Brothers.

Actually, we're doing use program, Kush Brothers, where we smoke weed and go over the

news.

And there's a lot of good Albanian stuff.

We have to get into.

But that's a little tease for an episode that might have already aired because of the

way we do business here.

Oh, it's the outside.

If you ever need a guest to come, we don't want to watch news or to do howl at me.

Do not listen to Mirro.

We will take you up on that.

We don't.

Don't.

Careful what you say.

What are you doing right after this podcast?

We're trying to book this month's Kush Brothers right now, actually.

So careful.

There's my daughter.

Four hour.

Oh, sorry, honey.

Sorry.

I missed her so much basketball game.

And he was waiting outside in the snow and shorts.

I had to get high with Stavros and watch The Fall of Tenorife.

Oh, fuck you, too.

Fuck, dude.

But anyway, so that's enough.

We started a strong Albanian up top, which I am sure you did.

Yeah.

I mean, in the Bronx, that is.

They're out in the back.

Yeah.

They got a phone.

Yeah.

They got enclaves.

They got plenty of enclaves.

How's it going, man?

You're the congratulations on the morning show.

Yeah.

That's fucking huge.

That was when that house began.

I was like, that's perfect.

Yeah.

That's so good.

Thank you, man.

Because a lot of people said that.

And I, I agree.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Not because I'm feeling myself.

Sure.

Because much like The Kush Brothers, I was in the back of a car getting high.

Yeah.

Listen to the fuck master flex.

Sure.

Memorize the phone number.

I mean, lie and told people that I was my phone number.

Yeah.

And I have to give it a fake phone number.

The other seven-one eight, how to say, what, 100 to seven-one eight.

The other seven-one eight.

Ah, so.

223 and I seven-one seven.

No, just call me up.

Call me up.

Yeah.

That's me.

But, yeah.

And I'm doing it.

And I'm like, oh, shit.

This is ill.

Except my circadian rhythm is fucking.

Yeah.

I was gonna say, it's kind of the thing of like, having a dream and then getting it.

And you're like, this is a fucking real job.

Yeah, I got it.

So, real last job.

I got to fill out health insurance for them because you know this is like you come from the same podcasting trenches

And this is barely a job. You know

This is the most lucrative monetary form of entertainment and it's the easiest dumbest one

It's the one people like the most bugs me to fuck out because I feel the same way right

I've been I've done cooler shit like stuff that I dreamed that you know being in movies doing all this shit

And it's so much more work for way less pay and so I'm like is that what it feels like to get to be because the right now

You have an actual job now you have like a show up. I'm not expecting you like having to talk all the fucking morning

I have to talk for a fucking two hours. I'm like you know

I'm like, yo, this is let low like low key easier than podcast because this is this breaks. Yeah, so like when you know

Of course, which is which is why I've been we're all on folks. Yeah, we're for fucking on the energetic levels are out of control

Yeah, like we're with dynamos

You know, you're doing very fast forward 45 minutes, and we're like, yeah, I mean, I don't fucking know

Usually your barefoot bro

But yeah, it's definitely different rhythm for sure

Yeah, but you know it is

I'm having fun with it. Yeah, like this. You know, obviously this car rails. I can't be up there like, yo, this motherfucker smells crazy right right?

You know, or whatever, but you know, I got to get pretty close. Yeah, you know, you get pretty close to that

I know you know because you've done TV and shit like that

Where it's like you kind of kind of turn it up and turn it down a little bit like you can't go full

Stavvy I can't go through tomorrow all the time totally totally, but you know you get a taste that's so what so what time

You have to fucking wake up like that's like that's just for morning radio. That's kind of be like yeah, and I'm in Jersey now

So it's like 3.45 a.m

That's wake up or that's the that's like the wake up like alarm

And that's what my alarm goes off to be like yo, you got 50 minutes motherfucker to like get those last three farts out

When I have to do that for a flight I'm pissed off your life is a three your life the alarm starts at three

Is that being demoralizing putting typing three? I don't even type it. I'm like, yes

I say man low to him. He's like

All the way down to one of the pieces like I said in alarm for 3.45

Yeah, I'm like, I don't want to hit it. Yeah, I'm gonna turn it shit off. Fuck dude. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, yeah, it's awesome

3.45 god damn and then and you're done with them is your workday over

Typically like nine

Before 10 because we record the last like couple like 10 minutes or whatever is like pre-recorded and then that shit just goes

So like I could get out of it by like 9.45. I wanted to which is crazy because everybody was telling me like y'all

Yo, you gonna have the whole day ahead of you and I'm like, man

Do you know that I'm a fucking degenerate weed head bro? Like oh, yeah, yeah, I don't want the whole day ahead of me

I want to wake up at 11. Yeah, you know what I'm saying and then have that day ahead of me

Like the fuck yeah, I don't want to take a nap

You know what I'm saying? I'm going to like a massage parlour shit just to use the shower of course

Yeah, please stop trying to jerk me off. I'm just here for a shower

I didn't take my bowl shower. I took regular shower

I would love a non-sexual sponge bath

Me like tremendous. It's would be it would feel nice to get paid like

My brother had a kid and I look into the baby's life and I'm so jealous of every aspect.

Yo, it's getting bathed.

It's awesome, dude.

Bro, this is a baby bug.

He's laying there with a warm ass bath.

Bro, people completely bathing him and then carrying him to bed.

Fam.

A giant woman who you love.

And then you get to suck on her titties.

Yeah, right.

Fucking half the day.

And you're free of disgusting sexual urges.

You're free of them.

You're a beautiful innocent baby.

Who's enjoying the platonic ideal of titties?

Yeah.

And like they should end up getting your little nuts cleaned.

You know, it's not sexual.

You're holding your fucking feet.

You're so flexible.

You suck it on your toes while your little nuts are getting cleaned.

Yeah, thank you so much.

I would love that.

That's what you do a lot of hot years of hot yoga.

Just to be able to get back into that position.

And yeah, and then like I would need to master my,

I would need to be chemically castrated to not get horny if somebody bathed me.

Doug, I was told to start how I went to a pediatrician at like 12.

And just being like a fucking horny 12 year old.

Like getting a physical.

12 is really the line.

You know what I'm saying?

And then just like, you know, getting the full physical shit.

He's touching my nuts.

And I'm like, phew.

And then it was once my dad took me not my mom.

So my dad, and he took it in Spanish because it's like Dominican.

And it's in and bro is just like, oh, it's very troncozo.

And I was like, troncozo.

I was like, what the fuck is troncozo?

It's troncozo.

It's Spanish for that.

Don't know.

He's girthy.

So I had a hog.

You know, tip your cap to that doctor being a pro.

I thought Dominican doctors just immediately like takes your dad is like,

we have bad news.

Your son's gay.

But no, he's a pro.

He's just diagnosed you with a thick hog for 12 year old.

I was like, bro.

Your dad goes out crying.

We have to move.

We have to go to starting new life and a new town.

His cock is too big.

We got to go somewhere.

People are going to find out troncozo is awesome.

It's great.

That's just great parlance to throw in the ear.

Come on.

You know, I'm going to name a child that hogged out.

It is not, you know, no disrespect.

It's nuts to get hard when your male doctor touches your nuts.

Bro, it was just involuntary.

It was just like that because you know 12 years old bro.

You see like something that looks like a titty.

Of course.

But you see, I don't know with like a cherry on top or something.

Oh, that looks like a titty.

You're primed and ready to go.

Immediate.

The doctor always made me nervous.

Now, if it was a, you know, again, not to hit you with, you know,

but if it was like a sexy nurse, I was always worried about getting hard.

Oh, yeah.

And that never happened.

And one time I went to like the, like the, the, the, the urologist.

And I had like this old dude and I was like, all right, this is perfect.

I want some old guy looking at my dick.

And then there was a young woman trainee.

Oh, and I gotta stand in there looking at her.

And so I'm like, so I think I'm ready to go.

I think great old guy.

Just gonna look at my little ass there.

No, no, I'm fine.

No doctors ever use the term trancosa when it comes to, when it comes to my dick.

Let's, what's the opposite of trancosa?

What's the opposite of trancosa?

What's the, what's the, what's the, what you thought?

I don't know if we need baking and it all.

I don't know.

We need both the minions.

I know enough, I know enough Spanish to know I've been double insulted in my own home.

Thank you, Nito.

Give me fucking baking.

You're fine.

But don't, don't, don't, don't, they're the fucking ETH on there, dude.

So yeah, well, there's a real blast to offices.

It was, but dude, it was like, so I'm like, all right, I go from having no worries at all

to seeing this woman and getting like nervous and scared.

So now my dick goes inside my body.

Basically, like, there's a little, you know, the head is just peeking out.

And she's like, she had to like push my fat rolls to get to my dick.

And then I'm like, oh, fuck, I hope this guy is going to touch my dick.

And then he's like, okay.

And then I see, I see gloves come out.

And I see her put the gloves on and I'm getting nervous.

And I'm like, oh, fuck.

And he's like, all right.

And so I have to show, first I show them a little as dick.

And then she's poker.

And not only am I not hard, but my dick might, that might be the smallest.

My dick has ever been in my life.

And she's like shoving my fucking fat back to look at my fucking little as dick.

You know, it was tough, man.

Tough stuff.

And she wasn't that hot.

But it was still just a young woman.

And I'm, by the way, I'm like, this is not being a kid.

I'm a urologist.

Oh, yeah, no.

I'm like, I'm in college because I'm like pissing too much.

So I'm like, so like women have touched my dick at this point.

This is bar none the most embarrassing of my, you know, situation in my life.

So again, like to your point, like, I'm not trying to have, I'm not trying to be in that situation.

I don't care.

And I'm so like, I don't want you.

I don't know if I like my nuts smell funny.

Or like if they're not shaved correctly.

I don't want no lady looking at my dick.

That's a doctor.

So I'm with the dudes.

I throw my back out.

I don't like Christmas Eve one year.

Yeah.

I end up in the ER.

My sister shot the anger.

She drove me to the ER.

A doctor, a young, young Italian doctor with a Wu-Tang tattoo.

Oh, that's tough.

It was like, no.

It was like a doctor with like a media tattoo.

No.

It was like, speaking up to the scrubs.

And I was like, oh, shit.

Yeah.

I was like, yo, he's like, so where do you feel the pain or whatever?

I was like, yo, I was like, it feels like somebody squeezed in my balls.

Like, that's how much I heard.

Damn.

I was like, all right.

He's like, well, you know, like drop the pants, whatever.

And I was just like, fuck.

I was like, and I'm just like, he's just like, playing my balls.

How about this?

How does that feel?

I'm like, yo, this feels crazy.

Yeah.

Of course.

And I'm hearing like the 36 chambers beat in my head.

Yeah.

That's tough.

That'll soil some of your favorite music.

Yo, what?

I can't listen to triumph no more, bro.

Okay.

My dick ain't nothing to fuck with, bro.

Bro, please.

And was there, did it affect your back pain when he, bro?

It was like, like, so he was like, yo, does this hurt?

And I was, ah, he's like, okay, cool.

I can stop touching your dick.

I was like, all right.

Please.

We're done here, Antonio.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's Caramucci.

Yeah.

Yeah, dude.

Damn.

How about with your back?

I'm, I'm, I'm, right now I'm sitting on the heat pegs.

I fucked my back.

Oh, bro.

So yesterday, I fucked my shit up again.

Oh, no.

So like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like a walk in injury, bro.

Like, I don't know what it is about my life that after I've had kids.

I'm mad injury, bro.

Like, I did my whole 20s, bro.

I was doing graffiti.

Yeah.

Jumping over shit, fighting.

Yeah.

Getting into fucking Michael Jackson video.

Nice fights.

It's just like most dumb shit ever.

Yeah.

Escaped all of that shit without injury.

Like, real, real, real injury.

Sure.

Now I'm fucking like putting up a bullet bar in my kids' doorway.

And I'm like, let me test it out.

Ah.

Wow.

I folded my neck.

I got like, herniated disc.

This shit.

Oh.

And I fucked my back all the way up.

So I got herniated disc.

All that bullshit.

And then yesterday, I met the station.

And then Rollerstone is like, yo, we want to do like a profile.

Let's take some pictures.

Yo, let's do an action shot.

Yo, can you like jump onto this couch?

Like, just like kind of fall onto the couch?

So I do that.

And like, there's like a metal bar in between.

That hits me like right there.

Like, pow, like.

So my heating pads.

Also, that bitch yesterday, like this.

Like, oh, my god.

Like, it was like, yo, like, yo.

And she's just coming down.

Like, I need it.

Yes.

You work, bro.

Yeah.

Not watched fully watched.

Yeah.

No, it's tough to read.

Like, I, some trying to lose weight, right?

And it's like, it's, I'm 36, about turn 37.

And so I'm like, all right, I keep going to the doctor and keep waiting.

Basically, every year in my life, I keep being like, go to the doctor and be like, all right,

there's the year that I have diabetes.

You know, I've been fat my whole life.

Fam.

And so I keep waiting.

I remember, I remember when I was like 22.

And we had, I was positive.

I had diabetes.

And we went and got like cheese steaks, pizza and ice cream.

I literally remember being 22 and I last, last meal.

Because I'm about to be diagnosed with diabetes.

Meal, like shout out to pasta, Mista and Canton.

They used to have a great focaccia, cheese steak.

You let it sit for 10 minutes and the juices are in the, but they, they don't make it

anymore, I believe.

I tried to get the focaccia.

I believe it's been discontinued.

Yeah.

We're all pasta, Mista.

You know, if somebody's listening, let me know the focaccia is still there.

It's amazing.

It's fucking awesome.

But, but so I keep waiting and be like, blood pressure, cholesterol.

I've somehow dodged all that.

And I thought, oh, I'll just lose weight and I'll be fine.

It turns out I've just been fucking up my back.

And like, I have fucking, my discs are all fucked.

Like, now this has been a saga for me where it's like, and the fucked up thing is I fuck

up working out.

And it's like, that feels like it shouldn't be allowed.

I'm trying to not be fat.

Doug, when I'm trying.

Yes.

Look at this.

Fuck you, God.

Why did you do this to me?

Why would you do this?

I'm trying to not be fat.

And now I'm like, and now I can do is like, I'm reclined.

I'm doing podcasts like this.

I have to be in an ergonomic chair doing podcasts.

You know, fucking pathetic.

Yeah.

I need a chase.

Can we take a break?

Elder says to fucking do some lymphatic work on me.

Oh, this has to fucking rub me down.

I've got the roller.

Yeah.

That's got to be like, just keep going through.

That's how much I respect podcasting.

Just get a mojaro nigga.

That's good.

I'm on the shots.

Because I went, because I was like, I was, I was, I was, I was been big too.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I was skinny until I met my wife.

And then I ballooned.

You were skinny youth.

Yeah.

Like skinny youth jumping out the gym all that shit.

Like all that.

Well, the album.

You shit.

Yeah.

The youngest wasn't dunking like me.

Yeah.

I was, I was, I was coming, I was cocking it back from here.

All I had to do was run up the court and go like this.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

And then I'm like, bro, I can't jump over a fucking phone book.

Yeah.

So, um, I went to the doctor and I was just like, bro, I'm, I'm, I got sleep apnea.

Mm-hmm.

Check me too.

I'm like, the shit's all fucked up.

I was like, I know my mother-in-law has it.

How this has it and pretend she doesn't.

Ah, see?

Yeah.

And I was in Vegas for some shit and they fucked my room up and they booked me and my

manager in the same room.

Mm-hmm.

And it was like, man, fuck, we just here for like two days, bro.

Let's just fuck it out.

And I was like, all right, cool.

And then I would never do that.

Well, I would never do that.

By the way, elders, you're never sleeping in the same room.

Oh, my God.

Plenty of room.

I guess.

I guess in Indianapolis where the, that Airbnb had the walls were fucking.

Oh, yeah.

But we had an Airbnb and it was like, we, it was like, oh, we each have beds.

We each have beds outside, we'll do that sometimes.

But this had no, the ceilings were like open because I guess it was an illegal Airbnb.

And you can just fucking hear everything going on in that one's fucking room.

Yeah, yeah.

I had to run to my bedroom cause Stav was about to get his dick sucked.

I was just, I was just, I've been banished to the servants quarters.

Will I have been entertaining maybe a couple of waters for the night, a couple of overs.

Yeah.

I mean, some gator like he'd be replenished so you guys would share the room and he's just

like, yo, Doug, the next morning, like, we, you know, we have him coffee or whatever.

He's just like, yo, fam.

He's like, you should go to the doctor.

Yeah.

I was like, for what?

He's like, yo, fam.

He's like, talk.

He's a motherfucker.

Like last night, you were like snoring like a, like I woke up because he was snoring

so crazy.

Like, I thought it was like a machine going off like he was snoring so crazy.

Then you just stop breathing.

So then he's like, I got up and when I went to go like, shake you, you went like,

I started breathing again.

So I was like, ah, he's good, but then he's like, all right.

So then I went to the doctor.

I told the doctor that and they were like, yo, fam.

Did the blood work, whatever.

And my A1C levels was like, hi.

And he was just like, I bro, we got to get this done.

He's like, does that be just running your family?

I was like, yeah, my pops has diabetes type two.

And he was just like, okay, he's like, you got to lose weight, man.

He's like, he's like, you too, you know, you got to get down to like, at least 250 to

40.

I was like, I cool.

Like, how do I do that?

He's like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I'm gonna keep

it ruined you.

I travel a lot.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I'm like, you know, I'm meeting an airport.

He's like, well, this is the first time I've heard of this weight loss stuff.

How does this work?

How does it appeal?

Is there some stretches I can do every three weeks that'll do it for me?

This is the same guy.

So he put, he's like, you know, like, yeah, no, he's like, exercise stupid.

And then like, so when I come back, like next month, and I'm just like, yo, bro, the

same is not working.

Like, I'm trying to work out.

But like you said, like, I'm hurting myself.

Like, I'm sore.

My back is all fucked up.

He's like, he's like, all right, let me just wait.

Yeah.

Right.

And again, it was still high.

And he was just like, oh, fuck it.

You qualify for this shit.

Get on it.

And I was like, I ended up.

Nice.

Like, a couple of months.

And then my brother, who's used to sell me this shit, because my brother was always like

a big kid.

And then he went away to board his school, started playing football.

Oh, wow.

And like, lift and wait and shit.

And then he was just come back.

He'd be like, nigga, you fat, because you want to be fat.

And I'm like, bro, there is nothing worse.

I'm like, fuck you.

You're a fat person.

They finally put it together.

And for a guy, their whole life, for a geth where they fucking came.

Like, motherfucker, you put it all in.

I gave you a little 12 bitch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Before you went away, to fucking.

You also used to want to be fat.

Something happened to you.

You got to do your whole life around not being fat.

Your parents sent you away to a school to not be fat.

Do you feel me?

It does.

It is fucking annoying, because it's like, dude, try and help the rest of the fat community.

Don't think you're better than them.

Like, yo, you made it out?

Like, that's like, yeah, that's like, yeah, that's like, you want the Latinos for Trump shit.

Like, exactly.

Like, yeah.

I'm Mexican, but I'm an ice agent.

Like, fuck me.

Yeah.

That shit don't make no sense.

You're talking about former fat people to like being like, you need more discipline.

That's basically a guy that's a Cuban about to get deported.

That's a Cuban for Trump about to be deported.

Oh, weren't any discipline?

Yeah.

In Venezuela?

Yeah.

All right, back.

Fucking asshole.

No, piss me off.

But he got, he got them.

Why they sent it?

They sent them off to border school.

Was it like, oh, so it was good?

It was good.

It was bad at school.

So, both of us were good at school in the hood.

So, like, when you're the one kid in the school that like gets like a high score and

read intestines, it's like, oh, let's pluck him out of here like a better chance program

or whatever.

The ABC shit they used to call it.

And when it was my turn, because I'm the oldest of three, shout the English, shout the

Tito.

And when it was my turn, the ABC shit came and they were like, I bet, like, we're going

to show you all these like boarding prep schools or whatever.

And they won't, none of them were in New York.

So I was like, bro, like, I have only been in New York and in the Dominican Republic.

That's it.

I haven't been nowhere else.

So when we went up to Connecticut, we went to South Kent Academy in Connecticut.

We're driving up there and I'm just looking around, looking around, looking around.

I'm like, yo, bro, I was like, I don't see no buildings.

I don't see no motion.

Yeah.

I was like, it's just trees and animals.

Sure.

I was like, what the fuck?

So I'm like, I fuck it.

Maybe let me give it a chance.

So we get there and I just see Matt staying glass and shit.

I was like, yo, is this like a Catholic school or some shit?

I was like, what the fuck?

Cause I got kicked out of Catholic school.

I was like, I'm not doing that again.

Too heathen.

Right.

I was like, yeah, I'm just going to be a Catholic school.

Bro, just not shaving and having corals.

You got to cut those brains off and I'm like, fuck you.

I was like, no, I'm not doing that.

What happens if I don't do that?

You get detention.

What happens if I don't go to detention?

You get another detention.

So basically, I'm just never going to detention.

I'm still in you know right now of rape.

And they were like, this motherfucker, like this little mother, this little asshole.

Yeah.

I kicked out of there.

So then I went to South Kent Academy.

I did the tour with the one of like upper class women or whatever.

As I'm doing a tour, I'm like, but there's no bitches here.

There's no host.

There's no women at all like at all.

So I was like, yo, where, like, what do y'all do?

He's like, oh, there's another.

There's an old girl school miles down the road.

I was like, motherfucker.

I don't speak in miles.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm from New York City.

How many blocks?

Yeah.

So you weren't interested.

I was not with it at all.

So I pulled, I never had said nothing like this to my parents ever in life.

So he took it seriously.

I'm coming back to the Bronx and I was just like, yo, I think I might kill myself if

I have to do it.

Damn.

And then I'll pull that one out.

Yeah.

You want to kill yourself?

Yeah.

I was like, yo, I think I might get depressed and kill myself.

Because you went to Connecticut.

And when you're like, oh, there's nothing in New York, I'm like, oh, where are they

going to send this guy?

Connecticut?

You just up fucking up like 95?

You're in the Bronx.

You're basically in Connecticut.

I'm going to take a train two stops.

And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yellow bugging.

This is crazy.

And I was just like, yo, I think I might kill myself if they were like, come on.

Yeah.

So I got, I skated out of that.

Yeah.

And then being in New York, I went to Dewey Klan, high school, I tried to dewey Klan.

And my career there informed my parents decision to be like, motherfucker, we don't give a

fuck.

Yeah.

Kill yourself.

Yeah.

So he went out there, played defensive and it came back and like try to flex on me like,

yo, come on, nigga.

Yeah.

Doing the Terry Cruz titty bouncer shit.

I'm like, man, get the fuck out of here.

That shit, bro.

You're doing a steady diet of New York public like, you know, honey bun breakfast, honey

bun breakfast, tropical fantasy, so.

Oh, yeah.

Nasty, nasty work.

Call us that I'm not on the pants on.

Corn chips.

Yeah.

barbecue, corn.

Oh, man, I'm thinking of the little fucking cafeteria.

And my honey barbeque chips, honey barbeque, Arizona, the Arizona iced tea.

Come on.

Breakfast, the champion.

It's salt and vinegar chips that you put with the honey or chips.

You mix those up.

When people had their little fucking basically essentially jail food, like now what we see

on TikTok where it's like, you know, those guys you make of ice cream and jail.

People were doing that.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

They sell little fucking pizzas that were all fucking, I'm like cigarettes with batteries.

That was good stuff.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Oh, yeah.

Just the shit, smoking the shittiest joints you've ever smoked in your life.

Ever.

I rolled, I rolled a joint in a bag that came, that a pizza slice came in once.

Oh, no.

Which was just, it was ever the nasty shit.

The dirtiest weed in a paper bag.

Yeah.

And we were just smoking it because we were like 13.

I was like, oh, fuck it, bro.

We, as we got weed and we got something to put it in so they smoke it because, you know,

being in the hood, like we, we did not have like the, yeah, smoke out of an apple.

Sure.

I was like, I don't know what, what's a bomb, you know what I'm saying?

I, it was a lot of, it was a lot of, but you know, cans, you know, I did a lot of cans,

a lot of huggy, the little huggy thing, that was actually a really great, because you could

poke the holes up top.

Yeah.

I learned it after.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, oh, this is a crap.

What I'm saying is don't blame your surroundings, okay?

You could have, you could have applied yourself a little more ingenuity.

You know, I was about to be like, yo, I've seen the can thing for crack.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

And I was just like so.

I was like, yeah.

I was like, that's fair.

That's fair.

Yeah.

You know what?

I don't want to, I don't want to go that far.

Right.

That's fair.

Yeah.

That's what you're saying.

Oh, bomb.

Let me tell you something.

No.

Let me tell you something.

When you use the Pepsi account, you know, you don't get the red 40.

The Coca-Cola has the red 40 on time.

You got to download.

No.

Of course you follow.

I jumped the mobile time.

He's going to say that's a lot.

But it's true.

And it would have cost you just for $1.

You didn't, you wouldn't have heard that information.

Well, yeah, it's it.

It's kind of reverse.

Yeah.

That is, that's something more crack had to try.

It's like, give me some money.

I'll tell you an inconvenient truth about your family.

That part.

Because they have some information.

They always do.

They have some very, very important things.

And yo, my man, Steve was just saying like outside like, yo, why happen to New York City

crack in his bro?

Like, where are y'all at?

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Like, now it's like Fent has taken over.

So people are like, the crackers used to be like, jovial.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I used to be up on the east side of Harlem bro.

Like, just chilling.

And they, like, yo, yo, you need help.

Yeah.

Yo, my car's broke down.

Right.

Yo, my tire, my bike tire is flat.

Like, yo, Doug, like, I can't hit this ollie right.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, yo, don't bother me showing you how to ollie, bro.

Yo, I was in Brazil with my burn quest.

You know, you don't know what it is.

I know how to album that he ain't got you.

Another neighborhood crack head.

You know, that's the, that's another thing of losing community.

Did you lose that as well?

Cause I do feel like every neighborhood had like a homeless guy.

Yeah.

Like a very particular guy that nobody really bothered.

And then when it, when it started to be like when it, when, when the homeless people started feeling like independent contractors.

So instead of salaried employees of the neighborhood.

He's in the neighborhood say, well, what the fuck's going on?

Yeah, we'll fucking these guys.

Yeah, who are you?

Strangers sucking themselves each other off under the underpass.

California Larry, yeah, where Larry has gay sex.

Yeah, California race supposed to be from me from A to A.

Yeah.

Why are you here?

And why are you drinking her off?

What the fuck is going on here?

Yeah, dude, so your parents, so they didn't send you to fucking

boarding school, but they sent you to the DR for the summer.

All the time.

Every time.

The classic.

How's that a Greek thing too?

Greek people would do that.

We never did that because my family just didn't, my dad was very overprotective, which

is interesting because he was not personally around.

Like he was, he didn't like leave a favor, but he never, he's like, we spent quality time

together.

But the second you were like, oh, I'm going to go to like my friend's house.

So I'm going to go, oh, send me to Greece.

And he's like, no, I have to be there.

And part of me is like, I don't want to, my hypothesis like, did he get molested?

You know what I mean?

Did something fucked up happen to him where he's like, I'm trying to avoid those who

are really.

Cause he wouldn't, he didn't want to sleeping over even like our, like I never slept

over.

Not until we were like older.

Did I, was I even allowed sleep?

I've known I was just we were in kindergarten.

His house and it's like, his family in particular, it's like, come on, man, you've known them

forever.

Also, I could take them.

You know what I mean?

These, these Albanians can't hold me down.

We would have fucked your ass up.

No way, dude, fuck you.

Yeah.

And so, but I don't know, did something weird happen to him, but we, I never got that,

but it sounded kind of fun to like, cause all my Greek friends that would go sounded kind

of nice.

You know, they would all go over there.

They would swim all day.

Yeah.

You want to beat your shit?

Yeah.

Is there a cousin that you don't really know?

Yeah, what was the setup?

Yeah, what was the setup for you?

Like it was, it was, it was, it was your grandparents, I guess it was like my grandparents,

aunts and uncles.

Like it was, you know, it takes a village, because it was literally a village.

Yeah.

Like they were sending me to Mau, but I made them out.

Yeah.

Google image that shit.

There's no, it's the only part of the island that's like, not next to water.

Right.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm a river.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that type of shit.

But I had fun, bro.

Yeah.

Cause I'm like, oh, I'm out here by myself.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, as soon as I say two words in English, like, I'm getting my dickware.

You know what I'm saying?

Oh, right.

I'm showing Greek eats in a village at dollar and then being like, oh, it's an American

dollar.

Yeah.

No, none of that unfortunately.

Never got served.

It was all just dudes being like, cool.

And then they would go and like run a train on a girl.

And I was like, I'm good, guys.

I don't know about all this.

No, I'm okay.

It was real villager stuff, man, where they're like, to them it was like, uh, they're almost

like mad a woman had to be involved.

They're like, uh, they're not gay.

I mean, four of us, like they were like, oh, they would like, uh, they were like,

like, smile and wistfully tell the story of like, you know, jeeing out a woman with

their, like, like, uncle, like it was like, like it was like a family bonding experience.

Like, stop, Trish.

Shorty last week, bro.

She was fired.

It's on the Patreon.

Yeah.

I know.

Dude, that really is, that is some true villager shit across culture.

Yeah.

Because they just, everyone seems to be okay with, it's, it's more communal, everything

is communal.

I guess.

Yeah, you're eating, eating, you're eating everything like, bad dreams.

Like there's one bathroom in the fucking, like, ten of it's like, ten of it's style

getting your dick sucked.

Straight up.

Yeah.

Each building comes with one slam piece, one, one elite eater, per building.

We're talking to the super, you know, there might be two, but it's going to raise rent.

You guys decide.

You want one?

Are you want to pay upfront?

You have more for dinner?

You got a whole lot of young ones.

You know what I'm saying?

With the price going up.

It's Sith apprentice rules.

There can only be two.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yo, uh, yeah.

It was fun.

It was fun, you know what I'm saying?

Like, and I got to, I got to, honestly, like,

it gives you perspective, you know what I'm saying?

When you go back to New York and shit and it's like,

yo, my lights, when I turn my lights on,

they just stay on.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Absolutely.

When I go to the toilet, there's water in it.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I'm not in a latrine, you know what I'm saying?

Totally, totally.

So shit like that.

But then like, you know, I would, I would come back

and want to go back and be like,

man, my mist is shit, bro, because it's very like,

you know, they shut everything down at noon.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

It's a very different kind of like lifestyle.

Absolutely.

And like, my parents tried to like, keep us in that,

like in that kind of like that culture,

culturally in that, you know, in my mindset, whatever.

Which is crazy, because men and women

are talking about that shit.

Like Greeks, Albanians, like, don't move like regular white people.

No, no, no, no.

Like, things like like actual immigrants.

You know what I'm saying?

Absolutely.

No, that, you're describing I also, that was good for it.

Like, we would go as a family for a long time.

We would go, there's like three or four trips we took.

And we'd go for like five or six weeks.

Yeah.

And it was like, yeah, that kind of lifestyle,

like getting into that rhythm of like the afternoon naps,

the like, just everything is about hanging out.

It's a culture of hanging out, you know,

it's like spending hours just getting coffee.

That's the plan.

Yeah.

The next day is I would hang out my cousin and had me like,

dude, what are you up to today?

It's like, my friend, he works at a bakery.

I think I'm just going to go drink coffee while he makes bread.

And I was like, that's what you're doing all day.

He's like, yeah, I'm going to come back,

sleep till 9 p.m.

and then try and fuck some girls.

Yeah.

But that's a, I was just, and I was like,

that's actually fucking awesome.

That's fucking fine, bro.

Like, with that, yeah, like I remember being young

and being like, that's the whole,

that's what I'm doing in Greece.

It's like, why am I here?

I'm mad at the fucking, yeah.

I wasn't pissed because they wouldn't,

because like, we would spend a lot of time in Athens

and it's like, look, Athens is cool,

but like, it's like, it reminds me of Baltimore.

I'm like, I'm just in another city.

Yeah.

Like, if we were at the beach, you'd be,

I was like, that's what I was pissed at.

I was like, I was like,

why am I just, yeah, why am I fucking going?

Like, I spent so much of my time watching

sex in the city with Greek subtitles.

And just like, I got to watch American TV

with Greek subtitles.

And then like, the funny thing is,

my cousin would take us to go to the,

they're like knock off blockbuster.

And they rented it.

They just, they burned all the movies indeed.

They would sell you, the knock off blockbuster

would sell you a chip to put in your PlayStation.

Oh, that's cool.

And it would let you play bootlegs.

Like, so it would just be like,

a guy would write FIFA on Marker on a CD.

And that was fun, but Barbie was like,

why the fuck am I here?

You know, instead of like,

I could be playing PlayStation and watching TV and,

but at the crib, you know, at the same time,

I was like, you know, you're putting,

you're getting some quality time with your family.

That's what it is.

You know, the dinners were nice and the hanging out.

And it's like, yeah, I missed,

that's how I'm trying to live my life.

I'm trying to get back to a very hangout based.

That's the shit.

You could argue the podcasting is just hanging out.

It's hanging out.

Monatized.

Monatized hanging out, bro, you know what I mean?

Except, you know, all this is not bacon bread.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that's the shit, like my dad,

like I want to go visit my dad.

And it was the same shit, like he woke up,

woke me up, and he's like dressed.

And I'm like, oh, like, and my dad is like,

salt to the earth, Dominican dude, like HVAC Technician.

He's there now, he's back.

He's like, he's a snow bird, you know what I'm saying?

Like back and forth.

And, you know, but he, my, my entire childhood

was just watching him grow,

what was watching him like work with his hands.

Yeah, do all this stuff.

Now that's one of the fuckers getting manicures pedicure.

So like, we go to the fuck.

Randy, I brought, it's crazy.

How am I?

60, 69.

Very nice.

69, nice.

70 year old man.

He's got the fuck him in his head.

He's awesome.

Yeah, he's got the, so, and my mom hates it.

Yeah.

Because like, so my, so my dad's like,

here come and wake me while my mom is there.

Right.

So my mom, both my parents are there.

My dad comes and wakes me up.

Doesn't wake, fuck my kids, fuck my wife.

Like everybody, he just comes and wakes me up.

He's like, yo, you ready?

And I'm like ready for what?

He's like, yo, we're gonna go down to the car,

mother, which is like a grocery store.

He's like, yo, fucking true cheese over there.

Like, I went to high school with him.

Like, he's working over there.

All right, cool.

So what we about to do?

Yeah, he got a couple beers for us over there.

Wow.

All right.

So we're just sitting there smoking some guards drinking beer.

Hang it out.

Kind of awesome.

And then like, yo, he's like, yo, you hungry?

Yo, who's hungry?

Yo, you hungry?

Yo, all the motherfuckin' and then the guy in the moped

comes with like food 10 minutes later.

I'm like, how did that happen, bro?

It's awesome.

And then he's like, I know we're gonna go,

but we're gonna go fixing it.

You don't know.

You're gonna get a pedicur, pedicur, pedicur, pedicur.

Pedicur, pedicur, pedicur, pedicur.

So we go there and, you know, we get a pedicur is a shit.

And I'm like, everything in DR is mad cheap.

Like services are wild cheap.

So I'm like overtippin' in shit

because I'm like, I feel weird.

Like, yeah.

Which is crazy because you'll see a Dominican dude

and a ran down outfit with the freshest lineup

you've ever seen in your life.

Because a lineup is like 10 cents.

A lot of it's cheap.

It's cheap as fuck.

But like, I'm ecstatic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But like, we sitting there getting pedicur's a shit.

And I'm like, this is wild.

Like, I love this for you.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I watch you in my whole life.

Yeah.

This is what you need.

You're slaving away.

Word, like running a rat race in New York City.

Like, Matt Nolan speaking like broken English a shit

made it through.

And you're here with my mother.

You don't have a second family.

Right.

Which, you know, odds are...

We were the second family.

Yeah.

We were the same.

I've met my older brother William at like 25 years old.

I was like, yo, I was like, what's this thing that looked like me?

Why do you look like me in my dad?

And you got the same ballroom pattern.

Holy shit.

That's incredible.

He was like, this is your brother William.

I was like, ah.

It's, it's, it's not a thing to do.

That is so good.

We're so cheap.

Like, you know, every time I see him, I'm like, yo, what's up, brother?

That's fucking hilarious.

He's like, oh, and his kids are like, yo, you on TV.

Yeah, I feel, you on TV.

I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Chill out.

I'm a LVPD sneakers.

Chill out.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

He's 20 dollars American.

American.

I don't hold you down for a whole year.

It's fucking your daddy.

Your dad took a mulligan in the Bronx.

He's gonna go, he's gonna go for it, get a fake stage bag.

That's funny.

But then we leave.

And we go back and then my mom is just like mad passive aggressive.

Right.

Just being like, yeah, yeah, pedicures, yeah.

Yeah, he's my he just over there talking to the hose like buying beer for all the bitches over there

Where's my money coming from? Huh?

He's like why you can't jealous my dick don't even work

Weaponizing you're fucking your E.D. Awesome 100% yeah, like he makes the money like he'll say the wildest shit like

My mother-in-law and her wife were at my crib and he's talking to Claudia her wife shout to Claudia and

I'm with my boys in a corner just like chopping her up about whatever and

My man Jimmy's just like yo that is and Claudia like mad deep in conversation like what are they talking about?

Like whatever whatever and like he's just like, yo, this is why cuz he don't even his English was like so like

Basic like what could they they've been talking for like 27 minutes?

Yeah

Yo, so they the they break whatever boom boom boom whatever my past comes over and and and Jimmy's like yo

He's like yo Tito like what were you talking about that whole time? He's like eating pussy

Just picking the brain of an expert

The brain of a seasoned lesbian

But he just dropped that shit. I was like

See, well, no, fuck exactly. What you get it from respect that one is right there

He didn't pussy. What you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's incredible

The end to him that's him being enlightened

I'm not fucking kicking around in my house

I know there are times. I mean, you know me and my dad have gone back and forth with our relationship and I'm trying to like

Stay on good terms like, you know, and that's rough man. It's a manner. Yeah, especially that generation immigrant dads can be tough

And they're but there are moments where it's like we connect and I'm like that is exactly where I get that from

I showed him my I'd like read did my I have a place in Baltimore and I read did the bathroom and I got like

Fucking hilarious, you know

Japanese toilet that like fucking, you know, it opens when you walk in the

Yeah, yeah, and my dad's like

I was like, what the fuck? He's like, he was like, he was like, oh, what is that like?

Oh, let me guess that clean dress. I was like, yeah, actually. He's like, what is like does it suck your dick too?

Immediately right off the bat. I'm like, that's where it is. Thanks dad. That's where it fucking is

Oh, there's a suck your dick to like fair question immediately. You know, if we were in Japan, maybe maybe I don't have that

I don't have that aftermarket fucking fix the

I have the tariff's

The dick sucking attachment to the toto

Which is crazy because in Dominican Spanish, though, it means pussy

So like imagine being a kid and like going to school and every urinal says

You're pressing you think it's the pussy button

You think you press toto and a pussy comes out

You're putting your dick in the urinal cage

Why is my dick burning

But it smells minty fresh

This is beautiful. We got we have to apply some of this

Immigrant immigrant logic

To to our callers

What do we got my friend and by the way when that comes on as the fucking up the audio god forbid you say anything as the producer

No, it's good. We'll get it in post. Okay, folks

Don't complain to me

I hear I was like I'm gonna let it go once if it comes on again. I'm sure eldest will address it

He did not I wanted on record if the one the sound is bad blame L this I've been hearing it

But we got some engineering magic we can't wait to fucking hear what bullshit what weird AI that steals all our data

Eldest downloads to try and get this smooth over

Yeah, he just gets it. He just hires Indian guys on fiverr to just dub over what we're talking about

Spanish

Troncoso

All right, what do we got out this place we'll call here. Hey, it's Salvi eldest guest

Third time trying to do this compared to some story. I'm sorry to eldest people send the other messages

I've been with the same woman for the last two and a half years or so and I just recently found out

that

I was kind of a side guy

To a guy that she was with her five years and I was completely unaware of that

She spent every night with me

uh for the most part and then she would sneak away and

spend

One day a weekend for the most part with him for a handful of hours and then come back

How are you the side guy? Come on. She's living at your crib and you're the side guy

No, you're talking about you're the least holder cheating on you

You weren't the side guy

He was cheating on you once a week. What the fuck are you talking about this crazy work

That's incredible like mental gymnastics on her and she jujitsu this guy

Because in some ways, you know, I've been with him for five years though. That's what made that makes it

That makes it cheating. That makes it. No, I'm never gonna fear with you

I love you because there's a there's something romantic about being the guy that you're cheating with, right?

That means I'm not betraying you. I just have

I've met you after it's more complicated

The it's so romantic this assets involved. Yeah, but but being the guy getting cheated on there is no romance there

Oh, there is just like you're you're being fucking so this is this woman

I salute her for gaslighting him in this specific way, but let's finish up. Maybe there's more

And so that's just the way that she lives her double life and

Live about everything I've had I suspected some stuff

Throughout the relationship broke up with a few with her a few handful of times because things didn't really make any sense

And she would talk to me down, you know, say all the things gaslight me into thinking that I was crazy, you know, all the things

Whatever and I did that because I care about her love with her like lover tremendously. I've been out of the relationship

It's not my first one. I was with

You saw from

Yeah

Come on

Being a side piece. That's a guy

That's like every dude's dream

He wasn't though. He was getting cheated on that

Yeah, he was

That's what it did more. I'll just okay. Oh woman for nine years prior to this one

So it's not that I'm wrapped up in that we just had ways with so much of comments way

It's much in common just little tiny things and

Facing a future without that person is just obviously pretty scary

So I'm bad

About whether I want to try to

Um, make this relationship what you know work on

And I did get pretty much converted over to the a side of that I guess so she was spending more time with me and caring about me more and whatever

But um just trying to fight with myself about whether I really

Oh

It's possible, but I just like I care about her a lot. Thank you guys

Come on, bro. Now you may be still back. Oh, yeah

Now I feel back as you're in the middle of it and I get it anyways. Don't get me wrong. We were right

But we've all been here. Yeah, we've all been here most is nobody control your emotions. Yeah, your heart has a mind of his own

Yeah, so clarify to clarify real quick

He did say they are like broken up as of this call, but he's still weighing weighing what to do now

I'll do it. Don't go back there. No because not no you coming back is an implicit

Approval. Yeah. Oh, you know, whatever you want right like go crazy now now look

People would tell like certainly people have survived

Infidelity like relationships. It's just complicated

somebody

Root almost it's in our Google calendar repeating once a week getting dig it wasn't like I met

I've me in my ex bumped into each other. We were fighting

I mean, it's not and look some people say I don't care even about that

You know, and it's it's truly person by person right some people will fucking let some people want to watch their wife get fucked

Some people don't even want their significant other to like, you know, emotionally

Flirting with people which listen everybody's got to figure out what works for them

This to me though is not

This is not an easy one

This is not the kind of shit you can forgive. It's also like I don't know that I could trust this that part

That is come that shit is totally out the window, bro

I mean, I guess I guess to be fair

Like this wasn't even like if you're dating someone for like six months right and you never have that discussion

Of the like what are we?

And are we exposed and she spends most of time with you, but like

Occasionally fucks other people, but you never have the discussion. That's different than two years

She's at your fucking house five nights a week and once a week she fucks the same guy

She was fucking a different guy every week. I'd be like

Something but what are we talking about you that joy custody of the pussy bro? That's crazy

And you're the mom

He gets it on weekends

So I guess that's a positive

The mother of the push you but you're the buddy battle you're the primary caregiver of the pussy bro

You're attending the pta meetings

Um, but yeah, dude labia is doing great. Yeah

Great to have in class. Yeah pH levels good

A pleasure to have in class very generous

Everybody loves her

The whole class loves her

So it's a warm

Very very open

So but but after mocking you we see where you are now. Yeah, if you're in denial

This is the denial phase of a bad person right and you're even you're even saying you're the side guy you were not

You were getting cheated on

Two years now look there might have been a moment where you guys were

Early in the relationship where she was dating both of you

There was a switch over occurred where you're the number and maybe this really what this is this is a legacy side piece

The other guy she was probably cheating on whoever she was dating with before with this guy and she carried that over that happens

A lot people carry over side bitches a lack a quite a long time, right?

Because you know you that's and you need you actually kind of from a logistics perspective

You need you need a very specific type of trust. Oh dog if you're gonna cheat routinely fam

And that's the thing like if someone you know is gonna hold it down. Yeah, they stick around a couple relationships dog

And if you got like listen

And this is like gender neutral bro because this is like goes both ways if you got a premiere like D1 eater bro or like

Something is like like

And it does not want more right literally doesn't want more literally happy. Let's just have sex bro

They're gonna stick around they

But number is still in your phone. Yeah, you know saying and if that in fact to me

That's the sign of if it's serious is if someone if someone goes away from that person

They're like if they break up with their number one slam piece for you. That's real love. Yeah, that's real love

This woman was not there with you. I'm never talking to Nancy again

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the it's the intro to international players anthem

You know what I mean? It's like it's under 2000's verse. Where's like I had to let them all know no more dick for me

I've told every cutie around town. So anyway, you're in you're in denial. Yeah fam. You can't go back to this woman. Don't do it

I did it so over oh really. I was there. I was in that situation and it was it was a my ex who

Started as a go-go dancer, which is like the you know go-go dance in a strip and pop pipeline like that's just like g-league

He was in a g-league that you went to the biggest you got titties that you went to the to the lead right right

So she was like getting a jump shot. Yeah, that's what you get your jump shot figured out

She got the back to the mask again down the fake titties are post moves

She's like I got a drop step now

Yeah, I think I'm about this

Take the fade away

I'm going baseline crazy every time. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, no, it was the situation like that

You know, but younger like I'm in my teens whatever like yeah 1819

But like been with short was with shorty for a couple years out of high school into like college whatever and

Just like not like seeing like you know hold on like you're a dancer. Yeah, I'm saying like everybody's on first

I was like yeah, you know, one thing if someone's like truly it's their job and they figured their shit out right young

Being exposed to that one. You're having a good time. You just have a good time, bro. You can ski it up

You know, you take a molly well every body weirder if she wasn't cheating right if a tw- if you're dating a 20-year-old

sex worker and

They're not and they're a part and it's like party type shit and they're not cheating. That's weird. That's weird

They have they have a weirder mental

I just want to sniff cope with this rapper

At least when he pulls his dick out. It's kind of strange not to at least suck him off for a second

Like I'm not really my thing, but you're gonna try. Yeah

Anyway, so that happened and I was just like the denial stage is like y'all not like I talk now

We can yeah, we can work through this and it's like bro. Don't go back to it. The head is not that good. Yeah, I was saying it's

Listen to me. Yeah, don't he's been through it. Don't walk back that path. Yeah, I'm saying

It's not good. It's gonna come of it. You know what I mean? Like he got him before my brother. Yeah

Sorry, dude. It's like stop said bro like you know, you're in the denial stage right now, you know

Go up in there. Yeah, it's classic breakup stuff. You when you don't get cheated on party. He's like no

You know, and here's what I tell everyone is like okay

If that's the fairytale you want to tell yourself

It's possible, but it's only gonna happen if you completely let go

Oh, yeah, and you come back to them as a completely different person here's later

So if you really believe if you want to believe in you know, bullshit romantic shit

It's truly the let it go and if it comes back to you. Yeah, but yeah, it's not let it go

secretly check her Instagram stories

Four times a week. It's like get everything out of here. Yeah, shorting no contact move on with your life brother

Fucking someone else 100% like get into some other shit get you know go to LA fitness runs. Yeah, it's over dude

It's over. Yeah, man, come on guy, though

I still for him for bath you be like I'll send you

I ain't gonna send you shit. Yeah, we won't either

Oh, no, what's going on? What's going on? Holy shit? Oh, where are we?

It's time to fucking what's the time for? Wow

The twisted-ass mother fucking fucked up as question of the week

Brought to you by the mother fuckers and twist and see

We keep trying to get them to cancel this by being vulgar and it never works

And that's why we fuck with twisted-ass

That's why you're our most cherished advertising partner. They know what they buy in inches. Thank you

What's the twisted-ass fucked up as mother fucking question of the week eldest?

Hey style of hail this hi, if there's a guest hi guest. Hey, I need advice really bad. I

Gonna try to put this as briefly as possible. I got my girlfriend pregnant. Mm-hmm. It's looking extremely probable

I mean test are coming up positive. There's no point in denying

The last call

Maybe that's the twisted call

The guy who got that was the textbook most twisting call I've ever heard is a guy getting

Cox for five years straight right that's twisted

Let's keep going. I guess

Benefit of the doubt you hear the

Emergency in this guy's voice. I thought he had to pee

Oh brother all right go ahead eldest

a lot and

We are deciding to go through with keeping the baby now. We maybe you can tell from the ton of my voice

I'm not somebody who's thought this ever happening to me at this stage of life. I certainly didn't plan for it

We've been in each other only since like

October I think October beginning of October and this guy's cooked anyway now

So this is like a three and a half months relationship at the stage

We have

I'm like a waiter. I'm like a under employed like food service server

And this is rather to aspiring actor. I'm in an acting studio in L.A. I do stand up and

Haven't really made bro. You say all the wrong things

He said all the wrong things

Really made very much money from either of those things

Haven't made very much money from my day job either but uh, you know

I think I was gonna roof over my head the idea of

Expanding my reach, you know

To having to provide for other people and the little person is like

Kind of mind bending to make you actually and I know I'm gonna figure it out

And I'm gonna do what I have to do and I'm gonna get my shit together

But I don't really know where to start as far as like

Starting to put the pieces together and looking for resources

Uh, do you have any ideas? Do you have any advice like is it time to like

Go to trade school? Is it time to like

No bad idea. You know just go to every foreign L.A. and try to like find a better agent or what don't

Better eat help

Buddy my brother my brother

My brother. All right. Let me tell you about agents

And agencies

Using that's the problem

Not dude

Listen now that's keeping it too twisted. Yeah, that was just

That's a very twisted twisted thought process

But is that isn't the right place? I got four kids. I had my first one at 25

You know, I'm saying 2526

You know, and I wasn't ready for that. Yeah, you know, you're never ready. Yeah. What were you up to 2526?

Maybe yeah, give this guy some hope

Oh, man. Listen brother. Listen. I was making $20,000 a year legally. Yeah, and another maybe 10,000 illegally

selling bad coke

Running out with a firearm with a good to do named Creme

The Fleetwood

You know saying just driving around over next tell chirp. Oh the church

You know, I'm saying like just doing all a lot of that. Yeah

So you'll be fine. Yeah, you got you got a you

You go with the right attitude. That actually is you're legitimately a great person to have on this call because you had you had aspirations to do

Creative shit. Yeah, you know what I mean? You and you did that as you had kids

But you weren't like you didn't double down immediately you weren't like oh, I have to get a good agent

No, you were like oh, let's sell him more dope

You know you you kept it twisted

Marrow kept it twisted even as this first shot was in utero the one with the list

Grabbed him out by the by the lip

So that's actually good. It's actually good. You're here because if you weren't

I would be much more

Negative to this guy, but but look here's a thing

You kept it a little too twisted

In enjoying

Some condom list sex that we were keeping it too twisted and there's a there's a type of there's a level of twisted

That you want to keep it you kept it a little too twisted. Okay, I tell people time and if you pull out

The pullout method is very dangerous

You got to be I love if you're not drugging off at least 30 35 seconds before you're not you need that burger

You need that buffer

The second the first haul you're already cooked you're already cooked that little tickle the tickles over

That's it bro pull the fuck out second you're not Indiana Jones dude

You're getting trapped in the temple

The door is crushing your legs

You're not fucking Harrison Ford bro you're like

Oh

So like your head's in the right place where it's like yeah get a get a more substantial job

I don't know if it's trade school. I mean whatever you're good at do someone just like

You know maybe it even you said you're not a good waiter you could you could make good money in the service industry

If you want to be like a professional waiter whatever

Go to transco if you want if you have an in anywhere

I mean you're you're an old-fashioned like how do I make enough money to survive mode right now

Which silver lining when if you're a sort of like

Millennial or Gen Z without anything anchoring in your life the silver lining here is you do have motivation

You have something anchoring you get a fucking worry about the kid first and foremost

And then you know look at our friend here on the couch

Slowly, but surely build up your creative pursuits. It's gonna be a different

It's gonna be a different life than you thought you 100% right it is just is it's gonna take a little longer for you

But that doesn't even mean you have to abandon what you want. We're not even telling you quit on your dreams. We're just saying

Chip away at them a little bit

You know, slide them around on the priority board. Yeah, I mean because the baby's number one 100%

Shorties number two. Yeah, you're number three. Yeah, I mean and then under you is like your

Dries your hopes and dreams and right and and between those actually is an ice cold

Of twisted T. I would say right. I would say somewhere between you and your passions

Nothing will help you think better. Nothing will help you get that one man show going

Then an ice cold brewed with real ice tea can

And in 21 years you and that little baby

Will be will be outside in your beautiful home in Los Angeles

Cracking open right on their 21st birthday an ice cold can of twisted T. Yeah

That's been this week's twisted-ass mother-fucking-ass question of the week

Fuck

And we're rooting for you pal. No, don't get it. Go get y'all listen. That was the time

Rubbish Rubbish being a road mother-fucking

Getting gear dog because that baby is coming with you like it or not

Respect you're gonna be okay pal

Wow, you're tough man. We believe in you. Just do a couple more calls to your LD

You

Did you catch you off-guard? Should I get a new agent that was crazy, bro? Like y'all know

Actually get the agent out of you

They're gonna take a percentage. It's over dude. You got to fight. You belong to your kid. Yeah

What

I saw piled is I guess the steam guest

Um, so I don't really have a like a person it was more just like an issue if I'm trying to cut right you it

So me and my husband we've been married for about like three years now and we're really telling that young

I'm 24 and he's 26 so I just generally feel bad because recently

um me and my husband were having sex

It's been cool. It's been whatever we're trying new things. He wanted me to eat it fast

I do that. That was fine. Okay

That's my gay

Your wife hitting you with paws

It's here with your baby

oh

There's no

Man, that's what a waste actually it comes out God

That's filled God

Respect respect. Okay, keep going out of this bad even thinking that because I'm like on the thing

He's not gay and now it's kind of progressing to like

If you want me to use that

Now he wants me to put like my finger up his foot and the part I just I just feel bad cuz I'm ahead

I'm like you're gay, but he's not obviously

I don't know how to I guess process it I don't know what I'm gonna ask you

I just know I just feel bad you don't know how to stick your finger on my practice that she feels bad for him

What is going on?

She's feeling like

Weird about doing it because she does think it is kind of gay right ahead. So aren't joke about her being like

chill

Okay, so there's two things I'm hearing one is in the back of her mind

She thinks it's kind of gay and doesn't really like it that much, but two is she also sounds like she wants him to have a good

Experience and feels like she doesn't know how to practice or put her heart and soul into it and listen

I mean first of all I do think you have to let go of the it being gay is getting bro

It's a sex yeah, listen, maybe maybe your husband who knows where he is on the Kinsey scale right

But he could he seems straight enough to you. It seems like right

Unless you think this is this is an act. He actually is gay, but that's not how you find this out

Yeah, in fact the guy who was in the closet. I think would not ask you to do absolutely

What are you doing?

That's for gay people. I'm not like that

I think this this is actually someone who's very comfortable with you. Yeah, and is it just happens to be in the, you know

He might look there's straight guys who want to get

Fucked about you know want to get pegged and it sounds like if I had to put my money on it

You might be you might be traveling down that path

We're getting into pegged you know fear it feels like that

So really it comes down to you're gonna have to let that you know, is this gay stuff go? Yeah, and you're just gonna have to treat it as any other

Like when you're in a relationship and your partner wants you to do something that it's not exactly your bag

You're not exactly pumped to do it treated just like that that happens

There's compromises trying trying different stuff. You might get into it along you go on. It's like relationship

And also like take this is an opportunity if you're doing some sexual exploration is there something you've all right to try

Is there some shit you want him to get into you know, I mean like you want like put toothpicks in in your labia

Whatever like open your speculum

Yeah, you know that's your thing. You know try it out. This might just be now

This could be a miss a mismatch in terms of freaky level. I was about to say I was like it sounds like he's a super freaky motherfucker

And you're just like a regular authority. Yes, and like you're like, oh, ass eating. That's crazy

I'm like bro, I'm listen. I'm a 40-year-old man dog like

Shout out to all the women at eat ass. I'm saying because if you go on it, listen, are you pussy? Like I'm starving, right?

You know what I'm saying like I'm all in the pussy. I'm all up in the ass like everywhere

It's like this is getting in there this whole section is

It's nerve endings right that bring you pleasure. So I'm I'm getting into all of that

The same thing with dudes, you know, I'm saying like if you're talking about that, you know

I'm saying and you get and you get in the balls in the tank area, and you do look. I'm not mad in the booty hole

I ain't mad at that. I'm not mad. I'm saying twist

Yeah, but you gotta keep it twisted on the butt on the butt hole on the ball

But you said I think it's a situation where she feels that he feels comfortable enough for her with you

Shorty to be like yo, I'm as a man who is straight gonna ask you to eat my ass in confidence

Right, you know what I'm saying because he probably is not putting that shit in the group chat with his man

Yo, my girl, you my ass. I said that she was fire like yeah, and then I'll get fingered

Yeah, yeah, you know the pair of his group of friends, you know true no, I'm with you and I'll be toxic and I the other thing is you're like

You guys are both young. That's another thing of getting married young. It's like she's 24 so to her this feels

Very freaky, whereas like you know if she was if she was even single for the amount of years

They've been married because she's 24 now eldest. So they've been married a couple years

So they've been probably dating since they were kids, right? So it's like that's another element

It's like this is all part of growing together

You're being this seems weirder to you than it actually is right because this might be one of the only few people

You've ever had sex with right like 100% and maybe not maybe you were frequently in the year before you guys met

I don't know, but that's it all is trending in that direction

So I think this is fine. I think this is a chance for you to kind of let go of your

It's not prudishness. It's just your little sexually sheltered because you got married young hang up

Exactly, and this is a chance to grow and and I would say tastes this opportunity if they're shit

You want to try really think about it too, you know

But you don't have to practice you'll practice well the more you do it and it seems to be here to stay though

From the little I know about your husband

They're saying going away. It's not yeah, you're not walking that back

Like in the beginning of course you said trying to figure out like yo, how do I get into scrap route?

They're not happening. I don't ask him to stop asking me to eat his ass. Yeah, it's not happening

My yeah, like he's gonna ask for more this is your life now

Yeah, so that's do us part one of the implied ones in your vows was asking you know

That's probably each ass every Wednesday

With some with the little honey bear. Yeah, good love that's cute

We're rooting for you. I think you're gonna I think you're gonna grow to love eating your husband's ass

Yeah, yeah, and listen and if it don't work out with chocolate, yeah, I got married young a lot

You know divorce rates are high in America, so the next man is gonna be like wow, you know me you're gonna

Right, right, right, right, right, right. Oh shit. I never had this before

Whoa, oh, yeah, come addicted to eating ass

It's possible. Oh, what we're rooting for you though. You're gonna be fine. You'll be all right cut it out

What else we got LD be freaky. You do have to be

L this and beautiful guest. I wrote this down. So if it comes across wrote it down

That's why but about 10 years ago my dad passed away suddenly

I was 19 and he was only 48

Life insurance policy named my uncle is a beneficiary with the understanding the money would be split between my brothers

my kids

Instead my piece of shit uncle

Yes, almost all of it for himself about a hundred and forty thousand dollars. What wow, bro?

That's crazy. I'm trying to think about you got to shoot this thing a man like

You're just like fuck you. I'm stealing your money. Yeah, you got to see care bro. Yeah, you got to see that's crazy

You got to get jump keep going. What else we missing?

He had paid us back since so there's at least that he paid it back once again

Since I happened the uncle has paid it back

Oh, so you don't show who though. I'm sorry because because the dad was like when he when I die

My brother gets this and he's gonna split it amongst my three sons. Yeah, but the uncle has paid it back to all of them

So he took he spent it and then he paid it back. Oh, so it was a pay day. Yeah, whatever. That's me

I'm actually all the way back to now. You're a bitch for being mad at that. Yeah, you're uncle

Basically, your uncle did what all banks do banks don't hold your money. They do business with that should bring it back

Yeah, you know, my kids was asking me like you know, is there is there billions of dollars in a bank?

I was like no stupid. I was like how do you find they give my loans and shit like that like that's what they do

It's all a game of musical chairs

We're fucked if everybody wants their money

Okay, so I'm a little confused, but let's finish up. I just it was horrible and I just cannot forgive him

I've been in therapy for years

With a lot just life in general and this comes up a lot and the answer always ends up being forgiveness

You know just to forgive them, but I just can't get that I don't I don't feel right about it

That being said, I don't really let it control the spacer in my life. I have a great career

My dating life is going really well. I'm generally an overall very happy person

Okay, I'm cordial with them when I have to see him a couple times a year. I do, but I hate being in the same way to them

I truly cannot stand it

My mother and my mom sister have forgiven him since and like I said though

I I just haven't and I don't think I will

He stole the last thing my father left love the thing. He works very hard

You know to make sure

He's borrowed the last thing your dad let's say this but I think it's it sounds like it's a little more turbulent and oh

I'm just gonna borrow this money and pay it back eventually. I'm assuming I'm assuming they had a like chase after him

Who knows if it got legal?

Okay, so I understand okay

So

Probably what happened is but my question is was there a moment he was supposed to give it to you and you went to get it

There was zero where you did he fuck you in a way where you were expecting it and it didn't come and now and he only paid it back like

15 years later like that's my question is how

Let's what first thing is how big a sin is this right because again, it's annoying

But also you do have the money now right did you ever need the money and it wasn't there because your uncle took it

Then I understand a little more of this right that's number one number two though

I think this is clearly

This is so intertwined with the grief about your dad. Oh, yeah, I mean to me that's the larger thing here right that you're a kid when he goes

But you're kind of in the worst age because you think you're an adult right you're 19

So you think you have and you have you have all these like super super charged emotions

You don't know how to handle them. You're at the worst possible place you can be because you think you're smart enough to handle them

But you're also like young hormonal all over the place

And and this guy this uncle does a really fucked up thing which is he's still he's essentially steals from you and and he steals

The symbolically your dad's last wish. So it's like he's taking your money

But he's also disrespecting your father who you lost unexpectedly and tragically and I think

This is a way for you to still

The longer you're pissed about this the longer your dad is actively in your life in a way

It's like there's a piece of open business that your dad was directly involved in and I think

Really my guess is you have to let go this is like the last piece

Of like fully accepting that you know your dad is like like it's just it's hard to let go of that anger

Because it's like it's justified on the behalf of your father who's not in your life anymore

And that's fucking that's a serious bummer, right?

And so that my only thing is look

Really think about how much this guy fucked you

Because if if it's the kind of thing where you were you needed that 30 grand for you

For right down payment on your mom your mom needed it to pay for the house

If there was a if this guy really wronged you in some way

I understand it a little more

I would still say work towards

Forgiveness by yourself more but

Be real about yourself about how big this sin was

What it really cost you

Because if it really does boil down to

He took some of the money

You know he was annoying about paying it back

We had to wait an extra few years to get the money back

That sucks and you should be mad at him a little bit

But it is the thing that I think you could ultimately forgive yeah

And I think you have to be real about yourself about where these feelings are coming from

And really think about the grief and about like you know letting go of it

And you know in some ways it's like

Do you really want the the constant feel like

This is a feeling that that's intertwined with your father

But it's also a negative one it's also like and it's like and letting that rule you

Kind of stops you from like

Having the meant the constant presence in your life because you're saying it's something he's mad about like daily

I think you'd be better off to try and transition that into like happy memories of your dad

As opposed to like this fucking anger at your dickhead uncle right the other thing is too like

I don't know how many siblings your dad had

But if he chose your uncle to be the one that's distributed in his money

That means that they must have been unless he's like you know

He's they get divorced, I guess why wouldn't we give it to his wife he didn't say you know say maybe so fine

They weren't divorced

He's like listen is there gonna be mad at you they're gonna find out use the hundred K the pay it back

He's like look just fucking do it

That's what I'm saying like you you might be missing out on like a like a bonus dad

You know what I'm saying like if you're dad and your uncle were very close

You know I'm saying and there and there maybe these share some similarities you could you could you know channel your dad to

You know which might be an unhealthy thing but like

You know you got a father figure presence type of yeah person still in your life

You know I'm saying that you commend fences with why not and also how old is he eldest is he did he say

He said he was 19 when his dad died 10 years ago, so he's 29

This is also I also will give you a pass in terms of like

I get the these like I would say everything we talked about really look at all your feelings and also

Be open to it at least

Yeah, because I think the first step for me wrecking styling with people that I never did was being like I don't feel this way right now

But if it comes up, I'm not gonna fight it right like because that's another thing of like you don't want to hold

You don't want to be doing the work to

Stay angry you have to be angry you're happy to be angry

But if there's a time where you don't even give a fuck like truly a lot of shit with my dad is like I got to the point

Where I'm like I don't fucking care. I'm a grown man

Who gives a fuck that he wasn't that he skipped out on a couple important things that matter to me when I was even

in my 20s, but

You get to a point where you're like I don't and you might get to a point where you're like

Money gets tight as fuck for you or you you have to do something where you're like whoa

This is fucked. This is borderline a little and then I'm not saying close to what your uncle did

But you might start to just understand right you matter when life gets fucked up and you like you gotta bust them all

Who knows right? I'm just saying at least be open to forgiveness because I've been there too where I've stopped myself

From like I've been ready to forgive and I'm like no fuck down. I'm still mad at this person

And ultimately the only person that I know what the man. Yeah, cuz you just you'd only want to sit in this store and like

My fuck this motherfucker young goes getting jerked off somewhere like

In a she's like I don't know what the fuck he's doing. Yeah, but he's chilling. Yeah, he paid that money back his consciousness clear

Probably is he's probably like what the fuck your problem. Yeah, why are you tripping bro? Like your brother's good

Yeah, the other one's chilling your mom is chilling like some levels made it is true

Think about that like I again, I don't know. I don't want to be this arm-chairs are this whole show is arm-chairs psychology

Obviously, uh, don't take a there's not medical don't I fucking listen to me? I'm a fucking idiot. I might be completely fucking wrong me too

But really you might we don't I don't want I'm not gonna tell you you're in the wrong

But I am saying like I think there is something more than the situation. Yeah, that's causing it's not just the most intense anger

I do that's my that's my read on it

It's not just the money because obviously he said too like you know, I'm I have a good job. Yeah, like I'm gonna help you

It's going good. It's going good. So let it go. Let it go champ. All right, like stop saying at least

I think about it think about it in this way and also be open to letting it go. Yeah, that's the first step to potentially letting it go

You got something fun for us to go out on here a little illness

And we should say I don't know why I feel before we do that. We should plug whatever you want to plug here

You're you know, you got a ton of cool shit going on man. Yo, you know, somebody kid marrow at the kid marrow everywhere on social media

Even though it's I hate it. Yeah, but check me out on here

Shit, I'm hosting hot on the seven mornings of mario every day 6 to 10 a.m. Or hot on the seven

They almost had to give you the job because it sounds so good mornings with mirrors

Like that must have helped you like 5%

Oh, mother fuckers, I think it was just like y'all of the old iteration

Sounds great. I think we're gonna get a lot of political ads

We're gonna get a lot of political donation money from this

Yeah, so

Mornings of marrow, you know, I'm saying victory light patreon.com slash victory light. It's also on YouTube

You know, I'm saying if you don't want to feed my children. That's fine. You know, I mean

7 p.m. In Brooklyn with Carmelo Anthony. No, Mel. I say hello, please

We met at the Ravens game. He had he obviously had no idea who I was, but he was delighted by the like

You know, they just showed me they I'm like the fat. I'm like the fat fan

The son of Baltimore

I was just on the fucking thing screen like mellow is like, you know, given a wave giving

And it goes I'm right after me. I'm like

Fuck this dealer

And he was he was enjoying, but like just tell my say hello

You know, just he's one of the fucking great

Yeah, I'm gonna tell you bro son of Baltimore. That's it does that's my one beef with mellow

It's like you rest Brooklyn as soon as you got out of Baltimore now

You're mr. Fucking Brooklyn. No mention

A thousand Catholic that goes away

That's my one little beef to put, you know, it's funny because when Rudy came on the show. Yeah, yes, another

Another Baltimore legend like baller, you know, saying like he would break his balls about that. Yeah

So that was funny, but that shit, bro. That's the most fun show. Yeah, I work on

Fam it is it is like a weed clubhouse

Yeah, we just out there swung a weed talking shit like, you know, what we about to do

Yeah, we're gonna talk about some basketball shit. I'm like, who's coming?

Let's talk about bucks

This is smack the entire time we do it

It's just bad fun. You gotta come up there. I'd love to man anytime some people Brooklyn with big stuff

You check all that shit out. I'm saying. Uh, yeah, please be one of our favorites. Uh, you know, we've been fans forever

I mean, Mel just the I mean we lived in a shitty apartment in a story where we would fucking crush the vice show

I mean, dude, we really we were number one. We were we were it was on repeat everybody that anybody everybody in the world

That was like into like Bodega boys and TVM and all that shit and then and they were like, yo

Y'all got it. Yo, you you ever fucking come down? Yeah, they're like they're like they're like the way version

I know it really was and it was kind of like it had broke up at the same time

Yeah

Yeah, I'm not kids, bro. Everybody was just like, yo, Merrill's the star, bro

I was like, yo, what the fuck?

I was like, is that a guy you trying to say? Is that like a backhand?

What are you trying to say? Always every every every podcast related

Uh, like comparison is always backhand

It's both they mean it but it's also they're getting it something as well. What are you trying to say? Yeah, what do you mean better?

Yeah, yeah, I'm the funniest one there. Yeah

Very great

No, it was yeah, love the show for real. It was it was awesome when you I mean it was awesome watching you guys pop off

And I would have been fan of been you know, but we've been huge fans the whole time so awesome to get to

This is wow, man. Yeah, cuz I wouldn't that's not a fucking with child. It was just like, yo, this is

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I fuck with this and then you did start doing your solo thing

And I was just like, oh, this dude is fucking hilarious man. So I've been watching it stand up. Yeah, thanks, man

Like they were true for a minute. Oh, yeah, let's let's go out on a fun one. Oh, this what do we got?

Sorry, I don't know why I froze, but I'm pregnant with a baby boy and

My husband are considering

Uh, not getting him circumcised and I'm not asking for medical advice from you guys, but yes

I want to know your experience like as guys are like have who have seen

You know penises interacting with them like yes, what do you think culture?

We're three for three right now

What's your input on circumcision? Are we for it? Are we against it?

Don't mutilate your child

You know what's so ill yeah, when a boxer comes to a ring and they like this

That's exactly what a force can is right

It's an entrance. Yeah, I'm saying like you think it's hard and that shit just comes down

Like a drop top

Come on bro, like if you circumcised you just got a weird little worm. It's all fucked up. It's all callous

Yeah, you know what I mean? You see the scar

Yes, despicable come on. It's got your banjo straight

And you want you want that's what you want to do

That's how you want to welcome your son to the world

Shopping his penis. That's wild taking a knife to his little ass dick. That's wild. That's disgusting. So listen

And and I've never by the way

People have talked about you know women will be like oh there they look weird like people will call in and be like

No, I've had one exactly one woman be weird about my own circumcised penis in my whole and she was just kind of weird to begin with

You know what I mean? It wasn't a great situation. It was like a

horrific

Motel after a gig in Virginia when I and it was like one of my first ever headlining shows

You said motel in Virginia. Yeah, that's all you needed to say it was brutal stuff

She wouldn't give me head because I was on so she just gave me the worst hand job of all time

I'm still I'm still mad about that but don't let that villain

I'll let that villainous woman

Effect your little boys penis. Yeah, bro. I'm rock. We've all had a great. Everyone here has had a nice experience

Uncirc'd

And we we we can't high you a very highly recommended no problems here

No one's been weird about you. Has anybody been weird about it? Do you?

I'm trying to remember like if there was over a time, but

I think one time

This girl was like oh

Like it smells funny and I was like bitch. I've been outside for like two days

Of course can we also have you clear to you dick sure like

You know, I'm saying like

Absolutely, I mean like so you know if you see an uncut dude

Ladies or gentlemen, you know sand whatever you into if you see a dude that's uncut

Like dick is probably clean true. I'm saying hygiene is very important. So don't mutilate your young beautiful boy

We're rooting for you and consider naming the child stop roast

Or marrow or marrow

Yeah, beautiful. Those are two strong options do whatever you do do not name it eldest

Hahaha that's gonna do fresh marrow. Thanks for coming brother. They're so fucking awesome

We will talk to you guys next time bye-bye

#170 - The Kid Mero

About this Episode

Hosts & Guests

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