282. The Prison of Somatic Hyperawareness (When You Can’t Stop Noticing Physical Symptoms)

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Hi, I'm Allison, and I'm Taylor, and we're the host of the anxiety chicks podcast where

we dive deep into the reality of anxiety, nutrition, and mental health.

Listen as we explore all things anxiety-healing while keeping it real, including our own struggles

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Hi, everyone.

Welcome back to the anxiety chicks podcast.

I'm Allison Safanera, and I'm Taylor, and today we are talking about something that

if you are a follower of me on Instagram at Health underscore anxiety, you relate to this

probably, and I actually did a post today that I want to start the podcast off reading

because it's kind of going to get into the topic of the prison of somatic hyperawareness.

And so this was my post, it says, this is what health anxiety feels like.

You're in your kitchen, and there's a huge tarantula on the wall.

You try to go about your day, but you keep looking at it, watching it, waiting for it to

move.

Even when it doesn't, you still feel like it could.

You leave the house, but you can't relax because you know it's still there, and your

mind keeps going back to it all day.

You just hope that when you get home, it's gone.

You walk back in, and it's not on the wall anymore.

Now it's worse, because now you don't know where it is.

You start checking every room, listening for every little noise, searching, scanning,

and rechecking.

Even when you can't find it, you feel like it's somewhere, so you stay on edge, alert,

unable to relax.

That's what health anxiety feels like.

The tarantula is the sensation in your, sensations in your body.

No matter how many times you check, your brain says, what if?

And this is why reassurance doesn't work because the goal isn't to find the spider.

It's to teach your brain you're safe even if you don't.

Like that analogy of it is just like when you picture that tarantula on the wall, anybody

who doesn't have somatic hyperawareness, they probably are like, they hear the somatic

hyperawareness.

What does that mean?

Like, okay, picture a tarantula and you're like definitely afraid of tarantulas.

And so you're seeing it.

And you know, like when you see a bug or something really like in your house, you get like

freaked out, right?

And then you're watching.

I was going to move.

Yeah.

I was going to say that's mice.

That's a mouse.

That story.

But put in a mouse in there.

Yeah.

That's my mind.

Yeah.

You see a mouse.

It's like sitting there.

You're trying to go about your day, but like you're like, okay, wait.

Where did it go?

And then you can't find it.

So the same thing with in your body.

So when people think anxiety, they a lot of times they think like just panic attacks

or spiraling thoughts, but this is that version of anxiety that for me, and I know a lot of

people is the hardest one to live with.

It's the, it's the like locking into your body, the looking with like very deep within

your body and the monitoring, your head, your vision, your balance, your heart.

And it's just, it's not always this full panic.

It's just this constant awareness and body scanning, even when you feel like you don't

want to.

And so it's just this constant feeling of being aware of your own self.

And that is so trippy at times.

If you are somebody who does deal with that, just the, the not, the unwanted, you don't want

to be aware of yourself, but you're so aware of yourself that you feel every sensation

in your body.

And it just feels like you're stuck watching yourself.

If you know, if you have this, you know what I'm talking about?

You can't ever just be, you're always like noticing something.

So like a normal sensation, like say, when we're looking at a TV or something, something

moves in the TV, you can't just, that your brain doesn't process it as like, oh, that

just moved.

It's like you're, you notice it and then you think, what is that?

It's the normal, and like, or your head feels weird or you feel slightly dizzy because

it's a normal sensation of your body and your equilibrium, things that people who don't

have somatic hyperawareness don't think about, like their sensations that happen everybody,

but your your brain goes, wait, why does that feel like that?

And then you're in it.

You're in that somatic hyperawareness and then everything kind of starts to feel heavy.

And so you're thinking about it, you're comparing it, you're checking it again.

Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like, it's, it's like a, it's like a cycle, right?

It's kind of, which is why it's so hard to break because you have one, I mean, you have

this hyperawareness, but if you're someone that struggles with like a panic disorder, right?

You are constantly like scanning your body for these symptoms.

Um, and your body is almost like always feeling them because you constantly have this like

loop of catastrophic thinking, like something is, and then like, your anxiety just gets worse.

And then there's hypervigilance and then like, there's more sensations.

It's almost like, that's why it's a, it's a cycle.

It's so hard to break.

And it eventually something happens and that's when people have probably go to the ER thinking

they're dying because they need like a, a, honestly, they need something to make their

body regulated again because the cycle is just too much.

And it feels so scary.

Like it feel, it's very real.

First of all, you know what I mean, I mean, I don't want anyone to make anyone think

that it's not real.

The symptoms are real, even though you're, you're safe like you're, you're not in danger

like, you know, you're safe, but your body doesn't know that or your brain and body don't

know that.

So it's like this total cycle of catastrophic thinking.

I think that's really where people get stuck.

Yeah, somewhere along the way, your brain learned that a symptom is something to watch.

And a lot of times we don't know when that happened, but somewhere along the way, whether

it was a symptom or maybe a panic moment or a scare you went through in life, your brain

went, hey, body equals important, pay attention to this.

And for me, I kind of think back and I'm kind of exploring this in therapy.

When I was a kid, I would often fail my physicals.

I don't know if you ever had to do that before you started school, get a physical from the

doctor every time they would listen to my heart.

I have these like visual memories of them being like, you know, we need to send her downtown

to get like extra testing.

And it was like I was just having palpitations, but from a young age, you know, my brain

kind of caught on to, hey, when that happens, we need to pay attention or hey, we need

to be aware of our heart.

And so at the time when I was younger, you know, I didn't worry about it, but somewhere

along the way, the connections kept being made and your brain does, your brain is very

good at its job.

It is, it is too good at its job.

So the more attention that I would give my heart, the louder it feels and it would get.

And that's not you being dramatic, that is you literally trying to protect yourself.

And if you are somebody who struggles with this, you know how real it feels.

And for me personally, I went through like a whole thing with cardiac symptoms because

I was taught from a young age, we have to pay attention to this.

This is serious.

And though I had nothing wrong with my heart, my brain was like so focused on it that

it felt like I had something wrong with my heart.

Okay, like you felt like this is dangerous, right?

That's kind of small things feel big and normal things don't have normal because your

brain is so focused on monitoring it and it thinks notice, think, feel, notice more

and it just keeps going like Allison said in that cycle.

And that you have to remember though, like you're in this, like you said, I mean, it's

like the, this is dangerous.

This is what your brain's saying, right?

Like this is dangerous because your body is responding.

It's this catastrophic thought like this is dangerous, this is dangerous.

In that, like literally in that cycle, your body doesn't know the difference in that moment

between you being like chased by a lion, literally or sitting on your couch.

Like that's literally how powerful the brain is and the body is.

And that's why it's continuing like that's why as we get into how to help with this,

it has to do with so much of, of shifting the way you think about it and also somatic

work and all of that, but it's so crazy that like literally there's moments where your

body doesn't know the difference between those two things that like you're actually in

danger versus not.

Yeah, and I think when you repeat the patterns so much, a lot of people don't even realize

that they're keeping it going that they don't, they don't realize that they're doing

the checking because a lot of times it's not just physical checking.

So it's not like me sitting here, like you see me checking my pulse, right?

It's this mental checking of these checklists.

Do I still feel that?

Is it worse now?

Is it still there?

Did I feel like this earlier?

It's these checkings that you don't realize that they're like mental compulsions in a sense

because you're so aware of being, I mean, you're so used to being in this cycle that you

don't, you think you're almost doing something good for yourself.

Like your brain is like, I'm glad we did that checklist and we went through that and

we prevented danger.

Well, there is every time you a clinical term for it's called safety behaviors.

And they're, they're essentially like compulsions, but in the sense of how we reduce body checking

and stuff, a lot of safety behaviors are common that you're talking about and like, that's

something you want to pay attention to.

So if you think of the safety behaviors, you might want to take like record safety

behaviors if you're learning how to kind of get through some of these things, especially

if you're looking into doing like ERP or some type of response prevention exposure therapy

to this, it can be really helpful to understand more about safety behaviors because it's so

common with what you're describing.

Yeah.

And a lot of times you know the therapy for just anxiety or stress, people say, do things

that are relaxing, right?

So this is the part that messed me up for the longest time is because I would try and relax.

I would try and relax and I would try and do yoga.

I would try and sit still.

I would try and meditate and silence.

And I was trying all these things.

And then my brain is like, why do I feel my heartbeat so much?

Why does my body feel tingling in my fingertips?

And you start thinking like, I can't even relax.

But what's happening is when you're still, there's nothing distracting you.

And so your brain goes inward.

And if you're already in that deep cycle, you're just going to keep being so inward that

the stillness and the silence is going to make you, if you're, if you're in that somatic

hyperawareness, feel everything.

And then your brain is like, oh gosh, now we have all these things we need to monitor.

But sometimes that's part of the treatment though is to actually help.

Now, I don't want you to do this on your own, but part of the treatment is to actually

help you become more comfortable with the symptoms you're having and not actually distract

yourself from them because I'm talking about, when I was saying that, I was talking about

like why relaxing might feel foreign to you?

Like if you're watching this and you're like, I do the breathing, I do the meditation and

like, I don't, like I feel worse.

Like why do I feel worse?

I get so many things like that.

They're like, yoga makes it worse.

I used to be that person.

I'd be like, I hate yoga.

Yeah, they can't sit with it.

It's like, you don't know yet how to actually sit with the symptoms of it because they

can feel still so scary, yeah, yeah.

Basically, what you said is like you're not going to try to fix this by trying to feel

nothing.

You're usually going to feel something.

You're going to sit on, you're going to feel a lot of things if you're so hyperaware.

And but the shift of sitting in it and allowing in it and not panicking, it's kind of like

all the things that we talk about with health anxiety.

Instead of thinking like, how do I get rid of this feeling, you go, how do I stop reacting

to this feeling?

Yeah.

That's learning how to sit with it, really.

I mean, it is.

I actually use that phrase like, let's learn how to sit with the discomfort of it.

But like do it in like a safe environment.

Like if you feel like you can't do that on your own, obviously with with a therapist

or someone that can help you learn how to sit with that.

Because remember, your body, your literally your brain is thinking that it's being chased

by a lion right now because you're feeling your heart race, right?

So it doesn't know the difference and it feels like it's not safe.

So you need to teach it how to be safe even despite those symptoms.

Yeah.

But that's hard work.

It's hard.

It is.

It is.

But I think we have a couple of steps we're going to go through on what you could do right

now.

If this is you, but your brain, if you're someone who relates to this right now, your

brain is full on convinced yourself that sensation equals problem.

So the goal is how do we break that?

So step one that you can take is you stop trying to figure everything out.

Not every sensation needs an explanation.

Repeat that to yourself.

I even have like something, I have a little post somewhere on my wall, but it's the constant

reminder to myself that like we have hiccups, right?

Your bodies are going to have twinges, tickles, tingles, flutters.

Yeah.

That is a human body.

And I think when you're dealing with somatic hyperawareness, you forget that.

You forget that you're in a human body that isn't a robot and it does.

It's not chat GPT.

Well, hang on chat GPT also malfunctions, but it's not this perfect.

It's not this perfect thing that isn't going to sometimes have a little hiccup.

So you don't need to always understand every sensation in your body.

You can literally just go, that's just a feeling.

Like if you have a sensation, that's just a feeling and like saying that out loud.

So that would be the first goal is like catching your sensations every time you catch some

and rather being like, what was that?

I wonder why that happened.

Like because that's where your brain immediately wants to go and you're not going to get it

perfect, right?

Like you're not going to feel a sensation to be like, that's just a feeling.

It doesn't happen like that, but the more you say it to yourself and the more you recognize

like how you feel when you approach it with that and you go about your day and you don't

let the sensation become your whole day, you slowly over time realize, oh, my body does

have normal sensations and like it really is just a feeling.

So that would be the first step.

And then the second step would be, you know, something I've been noticing more as I've

gotten into my 40s is how much our bodies can change and how confusing it can feel trying

to figure out what actually works for your health anymore between hormone shifting and stress

and sleep changes and life just being busy.

I hear from so many women who say they want to feel healthier and more like themselves

again, but they honestly don't know where to start.

And let's be really internet doesn't exactly make it easier.

So there's so many different opinions and treatment options out there that it can feel

so overwhelming trying to figure out what's actually safe, what works and who to trust.

That's one of the reasons I like what hers is doing.

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Catch the checking.

You don't have to like force yourself to stop the checking but just noticing it.

Like a lot of times we don't even realize we're doing these.

It's really easy to catch a physical checking so like taking your blood pressure, taking

your vitals but it's the mental checking that you don't realize you're doing it.

Like oh I realize I'm scanning right now.

You want to be very careful of that because it can- it's there's also considered safety

behaviors and you know it's hard for anyone to know if this is like really debilitating.

It might be hard to really know how to kind of like record that stuff so just be careful

if you notice like that it's literally making you not you know like not present.

That's really the biggest thing.

Like if you're feeling just like you're in a fog because this is all you're thinking

about right or feeling.

It's like it can be, it can be really tough to know but yeah go ahead.

And don't have like judgment or pressure on yourself when you have that checking because

a lot of times you're like oh stop doing that.

I know when I do that it's like oh why are you doing that like you're not supposed to

do that and it's like give yourself we've talked about this a lot and it's of compassion

when you are doing those things and the more you become aware of it the more you're

almost like making these transactions with your brain in a way of I'm recognizing that

what I'm doing isn't what I'm supposed to be doing and so it's those little rewires

over time like you're not going to- none of these tips are going to be like a little

Xanax to you.

I'm sorry like I can't fully take away the panic but what we can do is we can do these

little things over time that really help us with recognizing and then being able to-

No something I was going to say that actually we do in as a clinical treatment which actually

can sound and I don't know if this is something you did or not but but is so effective when

it comes to exposure therapy is like actually intentional or intentionally recreating the

body sensations but in a safe way.

So like in session like we'll have someone spin right if dizziness is something they

get really scared of or like sometimes people don't like their heart rate so you'll be

like running in place or something like that to kind of intentionally recreate it in

this safe space so the brain actually learns these sensations are uncomfortable but they're

not dangerous because with a clinician you know that logically you're safe in that room

and you're safe in that space so over time your brain actually understands that I can feel

this sensation and I can learn that it's not dangerous.

So the fear response decreases over time so that's like clinically something that when

I talk to my clients that come in with with this of course it's very strategic you know

no one comes in I'm like okay start spinning around like that's not how it goes but it's

very very effective because like you said before so much of what we want to do is avoid it

we want to avoid it that's what makes it stronger that's what keeps the cycle going so much

because we're trying to distract distract distract and avoid it and to really really have

it like shift and change you sort of need to recognize that you need to change the way

the brain is is the perception of it you know with the brain so we actually intentionally

recreate some of those sometimes I don't know if that's something you did but it's really

effective so yeah that's the kind of the next step is letting it be there without reacting

I did kind of have that and so people who have somatic hyper awareness might understand

what I'm about to say for me when there is a logical reason to feel a sensation I understand

that and so if you were to spin me in circles and then I'm dizzy I'm like okay that makes sense

for me it's the feelings you feel when nothing's going on and so that this is the hardest one

because yeah it's easy to go to therapy and spin in a circle and say oh I know I'm dizzy like

that this feels uncomfortable but I'm dizzy right but it's harder when you're just like with

self doing no spinning and feeling dizzy but it's still but you're still interpreting dizziness as

danger yeah what I was saying is just what we did but I get it yeah I mean it's it's a

hard it's not easy it's hard this is definitely the hardest step for yeah yeah this is the this is

the hardest one it's like the way we speak about it sometimes sounds very easy and like oh you should

just be able to let it be there without reacting and it's it's it's it's a fight you're gonna have

in a way of of always wanting to say why is this happening but rather rather okay this is here

and it can be here it's uncomfortable yeah I feel uncomfortable right now but I'm safe and truly like

there I've seen a big change when I'm saying when I'd say to myself like I'm safe yeah I'm safe

that's awesome like in this moment I'm safe and just like those little things um and then

you're teaching your brain something powerful too when you're saying that right you're really

teaching your brain you're creating new pathways in your brain to really believe that your body's

okay and that's huge that's awesome yeah yeah um and then what and then you really when you do have

these sensations and you find yourself wanting to mental check and obsess and you recognize that

it's taking up your day and you're not doing your daily activities you got to get out of your body

a little you have to yeah this is when in a very healthy way you need to look around legit touch

grass being so serious right now yeah talk to somebody who's safe to you um engage in something

that centers you back to where you are yeah because if you keep if you feel that sensation and

you allow it to just kind of keep festering it's gonna get really big and it's gonna feel really

big and it's gonna grow and so this is when you if you do the steps like we just said you start with

like I'm checking I'm feeling I'm doing the mental scans I find something okay I recognize I'm

being crazy about this right now I'm being a little I'm I'm catching myself and then I'm like

a lot of times my husband will be like let's go for a walk and I'll reply to him and be like I don't

want to do that I don't feel good right now right and then I and then I sit there and I reflect and

I'm like you're right and so then we go for a walk and then I get back from the walk and I'm like

dang I feel good and then I write that down I'm like I didn't want to do this I wanted to sit in my

misery and all of that you add that to your point toolkit and you know that yeah something that

helps you yeah and you write it down you write up you write down like you didn't want to do the

thing that you needed to do because you felt so uncomfortable but you did it and those little

things over time matter so much um yeah I just want to mention that you just want to be careful

that they don't turn into safety behaviors right it can sometimes be a slippery slope of course

they're amazing like like I'm just thinking even like breathwork and how um when it comes to this

type of anxiety and health anxiety and obsessive thoughts like there's a lot of cognitive work

that goes in there but our body it's very physiological too like our body does need to be taught

how to regulate itself and we do that by breathwork walking movement meditation like progressive

muscle relaxation um you know there's so many different tools that I love that I talk about

but sometimes when you struggle with like OCD or obsessive thinking and compulsions it's tough

it may you just want to keep an eye out for them becoming safety behaviors right so you're not

just trying to use like an example of that is like someone who just like carries a whole thing

of sour candies because that's what they know they've seen on TikTok like I'm a god I have my

sour candy right now and they're like popping in like 10 at a time because they're having all these

sensations it's okay um yeah no you know you you want to and if that's that's hard that's a hard

thing to really discern between is this a safety behavior knob but that's when you work with a

therapist on this and you kind of work together with it but you do want to I think make sure

you're practicing a lot of these tools and techniques and you know a healthy way along with the

cognitive piece which is what you said so you just want to add that yeah and so if you if you

listen this episode and maybe you're like I really relate to that I resonate that with that just

start thinking about it more and just becoming more aware because I think sometimes the first step

to healing is that awareness and I know for me and people who aren't uh in the space of therapy

or therapists like they're not a psychologist or anything and you're just it's your first time

living you don't have all this knowledge about knowing like what even is somatic hyper awareness and

you just think that you're going crazy um just take from this episode those things if you're like

oh I kind of relate to that I've related to that first part take these things notice them

recognize them and you can really feel a lot better if you put in the work and it's slow healing

but it's healing and yeah those are the steps we have to take I love it and if you're yeah I mean

I would just mention too if you're listening to this and you are that person who's like wow I'm

like this is something I can really relate to but I haven't really known where to start to help

myself well you just listen to this episode so be proud of yourself and maybe you've learned like

what the next step is for you and what you can do and I think you already took a first step you

know what I mean by just listening to this so I just want to say kudos to you and I'm proud of you

and listen healing is a journey it's not linear it is definitely not something that you're going to do

and do like five steps and then you're cured that's not what healing is um so you just have to

give yourself some grace some compassion and just know that you'll have good days and bad days but

you just kind of keep going just that's right that's that's how I feel like from the work that I do

and with myself you just keep keep going and find a really good support system and someone that can

really help walk you through it you know yeah keep going give yourself grace you're gonna mess up

sometimes you're going to struggle sometimes you're gonna have some hard days sometimes but it's

all about the toolkit you create for yourself when those times you come and how you're able to

recognize like hey you know like I was feeling xyz this last week and I recognize now once you get

out of that really hard week reflecting on it and the growth you've had because you'll see it

when you reflect once you get out of a really bad week and you look back on the bad week for say

another bad week years ago before you started anything and you slowly start to see like all these

things I am doing no I'm still having bad days I'm able to get myself out of it I'm able to keep

going and I'm able to function and you'll slowly see it yeah yeah exactly well I love that thank you

yeah that's fun okay well we will see you all next week and make sure to like and subscribe and

also if you have any questions or comments or anything about this specific topic send us a DM

and we'll try and help you out all right we'll talk to you later bye bye

you know something I've been noticing more as I've gotten into my 40s is how much our bodies can

change and how confusing it can feel trying to figure out what actually works for your health

anymore between hormone shifting and stress and sleep changes and life just being busy I hear from

so many women who say they want to feel healthier and more like themselves again but they honestly

don't know where to start and let's be real the internet doesn't exactly make it easier so there's

so many different opinions and treatment options out there that it can feel so overwhelming trying

to figure out what's actually safe what works and who to trust that's one of the reasons I like

what hers is doing they connect you with licensed medical providers who look at your health history

and goals to help determine whether treatment might be right for you the coolest thing is that they

create a personalized plan that can include options like oral medications or GLP one treatments

but what I appreciate the most is that it's not just about medication you also get ongoing support

lifestyle nutrition guidance and the ability to adjust your plan along the way everything happens

online which honestly makes it so much easier when life is already busy feel like your best self

again visit for hers.com slash anxiety checks to get a personalized affordable plan that gets you

that's f-o-r-h-e-r-s dot com slash anxiety checks for hers dot com slash anxiety checks weight loss by

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