284. Hear Me Out: How Understanding Accents—Ours & Others—Improves Communication

Understanding the accent you didn’t know you had.

Whether communicating in our mother tongue or practicing a new language, we all speak with an accent. But that’s not all, says Valerie Fridland — we hear with an accent as well.

Fridland is a professor of sociolinguistics at the University of Nevada, Reno, and author of Why We Talk Funny: The Real Story Behind Our Accents. According to her, we don’t just sound a certain way, we hear a certain way too, affecting how we understand others. “We’re hearing with an accent — a bias shaped by our own language and experience,” she says. But instead of expecting others’ communication to fit our preconceptions, Fridland says to meet people halfway. “If we want to make communication successful, it’s not just their job as a speaker, it’s my job as a listener.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Fridland and host Matt Abrahams discuss how empathetic listening opens the door to understanding. Whether you’re communicating in a context of mutual intelligibility or attempting to bridge cultural and linguistic divides, Fridland’s insights show how connection is a collaboration — shaped by accents on both sides of the conversation.

To listen to the extended Deep Thinks version of this episode, please visit FasterSmarter.io/premium.

Episode Reference Links:

• Valerie Fridland
• Valerie’s Book: Why We Talk Funny
• Ep.91 Um, Like, So: How Filler Words Can Create More Connected, Effective Communication 

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• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (02:32) - The Role of Filled Pauses
• (04:56) - When Fillers Become a Problem
• (06:18) - Why We Don’t Hear Our Own Accent
• (07:43) - Language Rhythm & Intonation
• (12:33) - Listening with an Accent
• (17:31) - The Final Three Questions
• (23:38) - Conclusion

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