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Hosts & Guests
Transcript
¿Quieres mejor internet?
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Perfecto para streaming y gaming y trabajar desde casa.
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y por qué no incluye impuesta si cargos velocidades de datos móviles
se reduza después de 20 gigas al mes.
¿Qué lees?
¿Also es esa?
Shit.
¿O la verdad? ¿O la verdad?
No es un shit.
¿Es un shit?
¿Estás en un shit?
¿No es un shit?
¿No es un shit?
No, no.
¿I don't know if he touched it?
¿Eres un shit?
¿No es un shit?
¿No?
¿Es realmente un shit?
¿Es realmente un shit?
Hey, y bienvenidos a cogs podcast.
Hemos un paso después de hoy, pero nos ronando de la時間
cuando estamos recordando con nuestro beloved gentleman, Mr. Sketchington.
Entonces, vamos a ver un poco.
¡Vamos!
Vamos a ver lo que gente se llama riffing.
riffing
y también vamos a ver.
¿Qué es eso? ¿Qué es eso?
Ironically, Ironically.
¿Qué es la diferencia?
No sé la diferencia.
A veces, a veces, a veces, a veces.
A veces, a veces, a veces.
A veces, a veces, a veces.
Es eso.
Sí.
Y yo creo que me gusta cuando alguien me va a ver metaforacal.
¿Qué es esto? ¿Qué es esto? ¿Qué es esto?
¿Qué es esto? ¿Qué es esto?
Sí, sí, sí.
¡Vamos a ver metaforacal!
¡Hey!
¡Vamos a ver metaforacal!
¡Vamos, voy a ver metaforacal.
¿Qué es esto?
¡Vamos a ver metaforacal.
¡Vamos a ver metaforacal!
¡Vamos a ver metaforacal!
¡Vamos a ver metaforacal!
¡Vamos a ver metaforacal.
¡Vamos a ver metaforacal.
¡Vamos a ver metaforacal.
¡V музeuall bütün großes الله!
¡Vaza woo!
¡Vaz se veamos vingtemeotas del blev scrommando a nosotros!
¡Vaza woo!
Yo tengo penetration.
¿Qué es esto?
SIncerna.
¿Qué es esto?
¡Vaza' disagre試ya de jumpedo!
ure o notó.
¿Ahora es queати curious de enje corriente?
¿No?
¿Qué es eso?
¿Eguos動画son?
De guidance meals,
dling mucho de los entity de crawlerí.
O sea, yo digo, ¿qué haces? ¿Qué haces?
Es un Instagram, pero sin el socialismo.
Es un Instagram, es solo insta.
¿Qué haces?
¿Qué haces?
Instacoffie.
Instacart.
Great app, I love it.
No, you don't.
Instacart.
I hate Instacart.
It's almost like they pick the worst apples
they have possible to piss you off.
Because if I was an Instacarter.
All right, I like this dude.
Somebody's making me get their fricking bananas.
This thing coming bruised up.
Somebody put it in my ass.
How did they go from bruised up to ass?
Banana.
Banana.
Banana.
Banana, you're ass.
I'm just saying that sounds like
a great cartoon odoree as a kid.
Banana, you're ass.
The guys who brought you.
It's up healing.
I think you missed my joke.
It's up healing.
Run it back.
It's up healing.
We should replay in the clip.
Please start showing.
Isn't that funny.
It's our show.
¿Qué playa de kazoo ahora?
¿No es una cosa que se puede hacer?
Yo no sé, podcast clips en la review y otras podcasts.
Cudan, chudan, chudan.
Pero es, es...
Get on the app instant, blow your head off, es appealing.
Get on cap, cut and cut it.
Es que es tan bonito que es modernista de journalism.
Podcast reporting on podcast.
Yo creo, ¿cuándo vamos a hablar?
Jill Rogan dice que...
¡No es la cosa!
¿No es funny?
Mi vida es la cosa.
¿No es?
Yo no sé la cosa.
¿Tú crees que conozco todo?
¿Cómo es eso?
¿Cómo es usted?
¿Cómo se dice qué?
¿Cómo se dice qué?
¿Cómo es lo que ha pasado en el mundo?
¿Cuál es el programa de podcast?
¿Por qué?
¡Oh, lo quePediaNamely!
¿PediaNamely, es lo quePediaNamely...
¿Qué?
¿Por qué?
¿Por qué?
¿Por qué?
¿Qué?
¿Por qué?
¿Por qué?
¿Por qué?
¿Por qué?
¿No es una cosa que se puede hacer?
No.
¿Undo qué?
veut decirlo.
No me comprojas.
Yo lo voy a decir.
Lo voy a decirlo.
Supongo que no es un puede, no es mi lengua.
Porque yo no lo sé de verdad.
Eso es lo que pasa.
No lo sé.
Yo creo que si pasa es que tienes la exclusión.
Pero bueno, bueno.
Sí, lo sé de verdad es que me correcto.
¿Y quién?
¿Cómo?
¿Cómo?
¿Por qué?
¿Por qué?
Sometimes cuando lo parece, cuando no es una vez que esto no es lo que es.
Pero hace minutos.
Pero yo creo que se me gusta.
Pero tú tienes que decirlo.
Pero esta vez que loificaste muy rápido.
Sí.
Cuando Jesus se ha cruzado.
Inclusivamente, no es tan fuerte, yo voy a hacer eso.
Inclusivamente.
Entonces, Dios le dio el malo de su arm.
¿Qué?
Entonces, Dios le dio en su mano.
Estoy perdido.
Esta motherfucker se ha volvido a la water y fue como,
¡Sí! ¡Vamos a verlo!
Yo lo entiendo en el contexto y lo entiendo,
él le dio, yo lo entiendo.
Pero...
¿No?
No lo entiendo.
Yo creo que él le dio.
Él le dio.
¿Por qué?
Porque él le dio.
¿Puedo decir esto?
Por supuesto que todo el mundo que está escuchando es Ale.
¡Hola!
Ale...
¡Cuttermite!
Sí, sí.
¡Cuttermite!
No.
No, pero ahora vamos a hablar.
Eso es por lo que me lo entiendo.
Roga, no sé por lo que, Jesus.
El mismo tipo de personas.
Tú.
Me.
¡Republicans!
¿Por lo que?
¿Por lo que?
¿Por lo que era Jesus?
¡Republicans o Democrat!
No, no partidos.
Él le dio.
Él le dio una parte.
¿Puedo decir esto?
¿Puedo decir esto, Joe?
Él le dio una parte.
Es un suelo.
¡No lo entiendo!
¡Gracias!
Él le dio una celebra.
Él los dio.
¿Quié Derek?
¿Dónde han dado la parte mília por él?
Sí.
¡Has won.
Mudó?
¡Me haré como un muestro, yo!
Así que sí.
No accessible, sí.
¡Dale el corres, Jason!
¡Dale,uck!'
El motivador que hace la parte...
¡Me agradeceré!
Es muy similar cuando estás en un buffet.
Y estás bajando.
Y tú, y tú, y tú te vas a ir a la tabla.
Y tú, tú estás y estás bajando.
Yo me he notado mucho en el momento que estás apartado.
¡Soy de debajo!
¡Dévanos!
Y en el día de que estás bajando
un gran supermigro, tu chico,
intenta grabar tu chico y estás en un keto.
Pero cuando estoy enfilado a todo eso,
no me he estado en una mano.
¿Te hagas eso? ¿No lo he dicho?
Language you how tour day to work. Hey hey you wanna go from San Diego или
por eso me puedes hacer la desconfertidad
porque...
Eres un momento de tu.
Es un momento de tu.
¿Por qué?
Hay un call de los 6 meses de la cocina.
¿Por qué?
¡Chicanos!
¡Chicanos!
¡Exactuales!
¡Jesus!
No sé lo que estoy diciendo.
Esperamos.
Es un tiempo que no se ve a la verdad.
No, tengo que haberme.
Yo creo que he cambiado.
¿Me he cambiado?
¿Me he cambiado?
¿Me he cambiado?
¿Qué he dicho?
¿Qué sé? ¿Qué he dicho?
¿Seguramente?
A diner, a nadie te touch.
F***.
¿Qué cheese? ¿Y si me pongo?
¿Puedes claquear乐?
Sí, super, pero como se llueve.
¡Migualmente, yo estoy la fíjana!
¡Que razonado!
¡Es la officially horrible gigante!
¡ Marlylo!
Los prenses se llueve a casa de todo.
Es un represented beautiful.
Pero no me settieron.
Todos nos ha entrado en todos.
Y luego me hegas a mí y al linda.
Nuestro traje.
Nuestro traje.
Eso es mi chewy.
Has dado todo.
No había una victoria.
¿Noebrian? ¿No matene? ¿No flakte ningún Practice?
Van los kicked-in los scatter...
¿Por qué...?
Los scoreינadores bị medio crisp你的 imperson California.
El warrior con kehigh.
¡S founders!
¡Al� Aquí se controle en responsable!
¿ afford administeros?
¿Y qué?
O otro 3Oh.
Lachiwait...
¿Por qué? ¿Por qué?
El 3Oh.
¿Tú lundoro sinAK?
¿No? ¿No es elitude de Arkallicle o Néré olabilir?
...D know?
en un mundo que se desilugue el时间 y la forma de empezar a un lugar.
Pero no puedo screw.
¿Por qué?
¿No me vas a traer en la abierta?
¿Por qué?
¿Por qué?
¿Por qué?
¿Por qué?
Estoy activando en la abierta, estoy activando en el起 libro.
¿Por qué es cuando se casan a veces?
¿Por qué se casan a veces?
Los secos, pero estoy activando para una vez, 어�.
No es que se comience su Course, por favor.
Me siento muy bien.
¿Pasemos lo que estamos cayendo en la abierta?
No, no es que tú sabes quién es.
Pero bueno, pero es un н something.
No es una cosa de las personas, porque es como un poco de adecuación.
Es muy bueno.
¿Qué es el mar de el mar de la calle?
Es como las chicas.
Es como las chicas.
Es como las chicas de la calle.
¿Qué es el mar de la calle?
¿Qué es el mar de la calle?
¿Qué es el mar de la calle?
¿Qué es el mar de la calle?
No.
No, no.
Yo creo que nos va a hacer eso.
Es una cosa que yo creo que los chicas son las chicas, porque yo era mi sistema de gruelfrum.
Eso es increíble, así que es muy grave.
Sí, pero si usted no se hace nada...
Es como la chica de la calle.
Lo cre Nottingame que לחos.
Kauna.
Yo no sé peroortexes, pero cuando me tienes una caz,
me siento que yo estoy entonces.
Yo estoy en el audience de la masa que estamos en el audience.
Mom Stuart, hogy me piensa que tu aya es muy bien
porque tienes que…
Te est Dawning y eso eso.
En 때리는 con invisible vão.
Perché aquí vas a ser fiel y viva.
¿ Somebody?
Ver mivarimo.
Okay!
Y tiene
Convergence en la edad de su vida
No
¿Qué?
Stigmatismo
¿Deciente que la聞as en la edad de su vida?
¿Le dice para mí?
Sí.
Sí, sí, dicen que no.
¿Qué te WFT?
¿Qué lees en el pizzo?
¿Cómo te haré la edad de su vida?
¡Pues es un pizzo de la edad de su vida más bien!
Es que me pucosos?
¿Y qué es eso?
Por favor, a me gusta mi cabrón right now.
¿Qué?
No, no, yo le hago...
Yo lo tengo en mi casa.
Sí, yo les voy a ir.
¿Qué puedo hacer?
Yo voy a ir...
Yo he estado de arriba y tenía que ir a mi therapy.
Sí, por favor.
Porque mi therapy.
¿Qué pasa a qué sturdy?
Tim Cooper.
No, no.
¿Cómo que pasa a mi therapy?
¿Cómo que pasa a mí?
¿Cómo que me hagas eso?
Tendo?
¿Cómo es eso?
Vos usamos haciendo un jogues.
Y muchas cosas son.
Le doy una自由.
Eso es great.
¿Cuál es el milligrams de Houston?
¿Me metí a un segundoito?
De mi mamá, yo vaig a
Michael Blowstein es going to be yelling jokes where I will tell you guys. March 11th I will be in
Palm desert, California, low tickets, low tickets. March 14th, I'll be in Las Vegas, Nevada,
low tickets, low tickets. Um, and then, uh, and at March 26th to 28th, I'll be in Cleveland,
I'll also show it out. I love you. And then April 9th, we added a show and spoke canned
Washington, go get tickets. Um, April 10th, I'll be in Seattle, very low tickets there. Um,
April 11th, we added a show in Eugene tickets going quick. Um, and then April 16th to the 18th,
I'll be in Dayton, Ohio, May 8th Vancouver. We had a show for you guys. Go get them. May 9th in
Calgary. Um, and then May 29th to the 31st, I'll be in Charlotte. Uh, New date, June 27th,
Juliet, Illinois, Joel, Joel, and then September 17th and 19th, I'll be in Denver. And then
October 10th, guys, uh, Wilbur in the second show is almost sold. So go get tickets. I love you guys.
Goodbye, block comedy.com. Mr. Wallace, tell them where you're going to be, dude. Guys, uh,
special taping March 13th and 14th. Third show added. Um, I think the first one I sold out,
very few left for the third day. Uh, that is the last show I'll be doing in Arizona for
quite some time. I'm so excited for this or flying. We're filming this bitch and, uh, you know,
maybe you'll see yourself on the tube in the background. And then very few, uh, remaining
dates left. Red bank, New Jersey. I honestly love that theater with all my heart. March 19th,
March 20th. I think low tickets in Huntington, New York, Boston. We added a show March 22nd at the
Wilbur, um, pull up. And then of course this summer in Halifax. I am doing the great outdoors comedy
festival that is a big one for me. Uh, so let's load that bitch up. I'll see you guys there at
TrevorWalls.com. I love you all. What's that? It's literally my cock at the front door because I
have blue shoe gold. Blue shoe gold. Let me tell you what it is. Okay. What is this drop?
Something crazy. I'm talking next level change championship. Gold plated energy. Blue
gold is the newest innovation from the number and treble ED brand. This ain't your grandpa's little blue
pill. Grandpa, he passed. Oh, no. There's any grandpa's little blue pill. This is that four and one
beast that's setting the gold standard for performance. All right. We're talking two
ingredients with a blood flow that keep their rock pumping. Mix with amp of morphine and oxygen
to turn up the arousal connection. Your brain, your body. Listen, let me summarize it. There you go.
You take some blue shoe gold. Mm-hmm. Within 15 minutes. How many minutes? You are 15. Wow.
Rocked and rocked and wrote it. It dissolves underneath your tongue, dude. Yeah. I gotta freaking
chew it. Halfway through a family guy episode. You're ready to go. Buddy, elevation without that
hesitation. Okay. This is peak passion and peak performance in a single freaking tablet. Okay.
I'm sick of people acting like they don't need blue shoe gold. Oh, I'm 21. I don't really
what about round two, everyone? What about freaking round two? What about it? Where's my camera?
What about round two? Do that group chat's going off by your freaking performance because you did
blue shoe gold. All right. How do you go in natty? Who's going natty these days? It's 2026. Guys,
make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at bluechew.com. Okay. Dad,
we got a special feel for our listeners, dude. Get 10% off your first month of blue shoe gold with
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10 years. But the thing is you can meet a guy tomorrow and get married in a year. Then you're
back to crack a lacan. Well, we won't call it that. We can call it rice a lacan. A. Okay. You know,
yeah, what would you call it? Getting nailed. Jesus. Jesus. It's it's okay. I wouldn't crucify that
booty. No, that's disrespectful. We respect his sacrifice in reverence. We do. Oh,
reverence. No, that is a band name. Do people ever? Yes. Do people ever get kicked out of the church?
Like, you know how to calm and show you're like, hey, let's talk, everybody. One more. Yes.
Really. Tell us. There's been we had security at our old building because it's not
holiday. No. And they're not welcoming to everybody. Wow. Wow. Who did they kick out and
what was their ethnicity? Huh? Have you not been talking to a mic this whole time?
And I have two mics upgrade. What is it? Neil Brennan special? I don't even know who that is.
I mean, thank you. Really? No, that is. But pretty good. You don't know who Neil Brennan is?
No, who's that? Stan and comedian. He co-wrote the spell show. I don't know. What? Who's your favorite
Stan and comedian? You, baby. Take the baby off and then we'll do it again. The viewers love
when I say that. They freak out in the comments. I'm just trying to help your socials. Also,
if we give any context, no, we don't know where Jack is. Jack some are going in the corner
because Roblox. That's what I'm saying. Jack is in the what we call this, the other piece of
the office. What is this called? The lobby. What the hell? Sip and Johnny walk in the war room.
Oh, man. People drinking in the war room is fucking crazy. What is a war room? It's
the president and the fucking all the military people make decisions on bombing Afghan weddings
and that people are drinking. Is that what we're talking about, right? That looks great. I would love
to wear the White House, but like, after dark. How do we have an Latino president yet?
Next time. I hope. What's all these white dudes doing in office? Get a fucking Latino in there.
Go. What is we move this pocket? What's happening? Yes. The Blanco House. Let's go. Taco Tuesdays,
bitch. Casas. Casas is house in Spanish. Blanco, Casas. That literally sounds like a place.
This sounds like a place that somebody would do. You know, it's funny about the stand. Go ahead.
I just saw somebody. Somebody was explaining the what's going on in the world right now with
pubues, the war that we're on, but they were doing it and they get ready with me fashion. I'm like,
is this the future? Yeah. That's how you give people a listen. The only way. Okay, first of all,
why aren't teachers doing get ready with me as well? They're teaching lectures. Then you can
be the fucking student. But I learned about what's going on in the world. You'll
learn from Joe Rogo. I know. I learned from a girl being like, get ready with me to tell you why
we might be in a world or three. And like she's doing her like eyes and she's doing it like
and everything. And I'm watching. Why aren't teachers doing that? I mean, here's a truth. My
girlfriend needs to do that to me. We're still about her day. Get ready with me to tell you about
how I got ready today. You know what? I need get ready with me and I'll tell you why I met you.
Why isn't the president addressing the United Nations doing get ready with me?
Does the president even talk to the United Nations? Didn't that dude? Do you see the
Melania talking to the United Nations? I mean, just bombing. Really? Not, hopefully not real.
Uh-oh. Which one's the daughter? Which one's the wife? Melania. Who gives a shit? I crack both.
How's the daughter? No, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can. You shouldn't, but you can.
Shouldn't, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What a crazy president day because the fact of like,
you know, some people are like, you don't fucking my daughter. You know, I'm six three and I'm from
Missouri. Imagine, uh, fucking up and her dad's a president. You're dead. You're, you're, you're,
you're a track buddy. Joe starts to get her home by seven. You're like, you're fucking bad.
I get her home at 653. You have a bag over your head. You're in Venezuela. The water border
in you and you're like, what did you, what did I do? What did I do? You made my daughter cry once.
Dead. Goodbye. Grenade in your ass. Kaboom. Isn't that funny? Grenade in your ass? No. Well,
that too. But like, like, there's certain, like, I don't think Travis Kelsey can break up with
his sweat because of the power behind it. Same thing if you're dating somebody who's super,
super famous, their daughter. Okay. Travis Kelsey is like, we're doing this forever. She has to
leave him. But even if she leaves him, she has to put out like a PR statement and be like, I'm
lesbian. Well, I'd like to say this. She's going to because that album after that is going to be
bonkers. Yeah. So she's at some point going to break up with him on purpose. I already told you this
movie idea I had, right? That's some star. I haven't told you obviously. But I have this idea
where there's going to be a star singer who's like on the other side, like 2223 has heartbreak,
going through, puts out a fucking great album, then falls in love with the dude, then she can't
create or because she's too in love. So, so the record, so the record people behind her
and her manager broke a 24. We got one break up the break up them, right? And then she's so
heartbroken that she writes another fucking great album because she's a heartbroken. Then she finds
out during the tour that the fucking team she had behind her actually broke them up. Bam, suck my
dick. Someone call Warner Brothers. I think I've seen that movie. You have not seen it because
the notebook, Disney Channel. You're saying the Disney channel. Do you know the name of the,
was it already? That can't be a thing. Look in. That can't be out yet. No, it just feels familiar.
It's a tale as old as time. But, but sometimes when a joke comes to you so good, you're like,
this is just such a good, and it's just, it's, it's, it's the gift. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, but then you get a cast like the. Oh, no, no, no, no, I don't want to do anything. I don't
know what I'm doing right now. The fact, the fact that a movie needs to be made, it's like,
I have an idea. Cool. Do you want to be done with it in 2031? No, okay. I hope you're available
for next seven years. I'm good. I'm good. I don't like my jokes past three months. Can you imagine
liking an idea for five years? Fuck you. I'll sell to you for an escalade and the fucking never
much. What are you about to say? I don't even fucking mouth. Go ahead. I don't know. What are we
talking about? What are we all talking about before it's a group before I pitch my idea for
no reason? I think it's a good idea. Thank you. We're going to introduce me. You're right.
Yeah, I think we're going to get the sketch episode yet. I think we're probably going to
the sketch episode. Yeah, we definitely, I think we have that's enough for everything. We'll get
right to right to the sketch. All right, guys. Thank you so much. Here's what what Ali,
a Rossi, helps me a lot with work. She does stand up.
Why don't you introduce yourself? What are what are what are you're a leap year baby?
I am. I'm six years old. 6.5. Oh, I'm sorry. What? I was born on Leap Day Michael. Do you know
this is? What? February 29th. It only happens every four years. Correct? But I'm confused
why you're six and a half years old because she's only had because she's only had six
February 29th in her life. I honestly, I'm guys. I graduated college. I don't know what the
fuck you guys are. You never heard of Leap Day. You don't know. She was born on February 29th,
but they only have February 29th every four years. So she's only celebrated that
Joe. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
If your ex-boyfriends say jail, I would if they weren't blocked. Hey, you'd be like gold me go on
that island. I have a question. So on Black History Month, sometimes there's even less days.
Oh my. New Internet more. Sometimes. There's also women's months as well. Hold on.
February is month. Women's month and Black is your month. No, I think women's month is my
show. They moved it. Women need to stick with their plans. Move it. What are they? Lesbians? I don't
think we planned it. We didn't plan anything. That's why this life is so chaotic.
There are no plans. Yeah, but yeah, she's she's only had her birthday like six times. Yeah.
I'll be one. I'm 28. I'll be seven. This is so weird.
Leonardo DiCaprio is somewhere washing up. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So wait, you,
when you sell it, are you selling it on the first of the 28th? Are you double-dipping?
I'm double-dipping a little. And what sign is that? Complicated yield. It's technically
Pisces, although I do not subscribe to such a strategy. It's not a patron. You have to,
you just go with what you got, right? What do you mean? What do you mean you don't subscribe?
I just don't believe in astrology. Oh, I get it. But when you celebrate the first, usually,
because I've never been born on the 28th. But you know, I've been born on the first either.
But I'm born there. Oh, I understand. I'm born the day after the 20th. That's great. That's great.
Ah, Trevor came to my birthday party. I did. Even though he had been traveling,
this is not a dig at you, Michael. Seems like a very good guy. I know it does.
We're the Vegas to the corporate gig. We'll come at 8 a.m. the next morning to two shows,
Friday to two shows Saturday, drove down from San Diego, made it there, but it's not a dig.
It's not a dig at all. Not a dig. Everybody there was top-paced, same person. That's not true.
What the? Yes, it is. They were all different and cool in our tea time. They look like if they
had those homies dolls from the church. Wow. That, definitely a silence. I don't know where you're talking.
That's an old reference. I don't know what to check up. I like that.
Everybody there looked like they could be on a brochure for a college.
So attractive and kind. I don't think he's not, he's not shitting on your friends.
He's just saying that. No, I am. They all look the same.
And you blended right in, mind you. Oh, my, you remind you.
Where do you find all these friends, the church? They're all from church, yeah.
Okay. Okay. They were the most normal people I think I've ever seen in L.A.
Like they were like, how was your day? I'm like, hold on. My day.
It did feel very like the most like normal people I've ever seen. This is my wife. I'm like,
wife, and you live here? You're 19. Well, I said.
In leap years, so wait, when you're a senior citizen, what, you'll be 21? Oh, yeah.
Ready to drink, ready to party.
Yeah. Not a moment soon. The fact that we haven't cut our mic yet is crazy.
I think it's off.
That'd be awesome. We should, we should do a dating segment on the show for you,
where people, people right in and, and, uh, pitch themselves for you.
That'd be great. In like 10 second videos, although my standards are high.
That's what you said just going behind. Oh, what also we haven't like,
what are your requirements? And we'll see if they, they start, people start coming in.
Okay. Hi. I'm Ali. Um, I would like you to be, uh, I need you to be, you're saying
it's so high. You don't even know what they are. Yeah. Well, what, what is your ideal
stiff socks listener contestant slash husband? Well, honestly, and this is no disrespect,
but I don't know if they're listening to this because they're watching it.
Because so let me, let me, so let me ask you this. So you don't, so you don't believe in forgiveness.
Of course. So you don't, so you don't believe in people changing.
I do. You know, I do. You don't think there's any Christian men or women.
We don't know yet. That listed to this podcast that wouldn't be a good candidate.
I'm gonna be honest. I think, I think of all people, I think that people that follow God's law
would be more up to follow this pod because it gives them a little respite from their own life.
So there might be more Christian people that are listening that fit your, your categories more
than you think. You know what? It was judgmental. It was judgmental. Jesus wouldn't do that.
I didn't mean it judgmentally. Describe the average listener that you think of StifSauce.
This is great. I've met them. Go ahead. Describe. Okay.
What you think encapsulates the StifSauce viewer slash listener in two words, January 6th.
Then what else? White. Oh, wow. Really? They've all been white.
Been. When I've met them. Okay.
I, for context, I sell merch for Trevor on the road and some of you fans, hey, how are you?
How you doing? Have come up to me and I've met some of you.
If this comes out tomorrow, then there might be some people in Denver.
Yeah, maybe I sell. I heard you.
Girl, sell yourself a little more. Talk about your standards. Lower them, bitches.
Okay, my standards. I would like someone funny. Great.
Justice funny as you boys. Let me tell you something funny. Great.
It also comes with a lot of issues. Yeah. You're telling me.
Oh, you're right. You're right. Yep. Depression school.
You know better help.com. That's why it's the duo of I want someone hilarious who also
knows Jesus and loves Jesus. That's the number one.
So you say funny, funnier than you, same levels you or somebody who laughs at your jokes.
I want someone funnier than me who also laughs at my jokes.
Yeah, you asked me for a lot. You asked me for a crowd.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's, there's like one person that fits as like fucking
Nate Bargazzi and that's like I think it. He'll do.
Damn, he's already married. I don't know him. You don't know him.
It doesn't matter. Oh, okay. Well, no, that's so funny, funnier than you.
I like black hair, light eyes, tattooed, skater vibe. That's the thing.
Her, her, her, her tight. You're like, oh, yeah.
The people who listen to podcasts aren't equipped for this.
Yeah, what is this fresh in the fit? No, like the guys you're explaining.
Probably listen to this. Frail tattoos, little skater head.
Yeah, a little anemic. A little anemic. You want a version of you.
Ah, with a nose job.
With no job or a nose job.
No job. Hmm. What about a job? What type of job would you?
Yeah. I want a creative. I don't care about money at all.
Yeah. I don't believe you.
I don't. That's the average. So when you're four kids deep and you can't pay your rent
and one kid has to go milkless, you think you're going to be okay then?
No, you want someone to provide for you. And I'm not saying you can't provide for yourself,
but it is nice to have an equal provider.
It would be cool, but it's not like the, I'll only date somebody right now.
It's my point. Somebody has dreams. I care. Dreams are good.
I want like a creative person. Okay. Yeah.
What if he's like my dream is to be a cartoonist?
I don't love animation. Hmm. That's creative.
That is creative. Yeah, we're, we're sitting a lot of boundaries here.
There's a lot of boundaries. It's just, uh, I'm saying my ideals.
The preference is only boundary is I would like someone of faith.
That's the only thing. Well, you said listen, like nine things before, like as well.
Funny, faithful, oh, but you're willing to bend, but on those,
but it has to be a father of Jesus. Yes. Okay. So let's go through a list.
Funny, faithful, not fat. Great.
Funny, faithful, not fat. I never said that. Yes, you did.
Have rhymes. Yeah, it's the list of Fs.
Yeah, I just, I just like like us, like a Timothy Shalany by.
But you're willing to move. You're willing to move if the, excuse me?
I, I, I have.
Oh, you have. I understand. You're some of your last boyfriends weren't like frail and hungry.
I've never really hated my type. Okay.
Except for once. Okay. All right. Rest in peace.
He's dead. Um, I think this is what I was just excited that we can move on to sketch.
I think that you have a lot of preferences because you have a lot of fear
in finding the ones who set up a lot of boundaries for things that you need.
And then like that person is a checkbox, that person is a checkbox,
and then you're just left to your own devices. No, I'm just dreaming.
Now you're awake. Those are the jokes. Did we do it? Yeah.
Well, right. And if you think you're a good candidate, send the 10 second video to the Stiff Sox Instagram Stiff Sox pod on Instagram.
And we can review them. Yeah. What were you them for you?
No, that's just fine. Guys, please do that. That'd be so fun.
10 second intro. Why you're the perfect man or woman or woman. Yeah. No, thank you.
But we could be friends. Okay. Or woman.
All right, ladies and gents. That was Ali. Guys, thank you so much.
And very special guest. Obviously, we said it in the beginning on to Mr. Sketch.
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what's your favorite song? I've been playing a lot of shoreline mafia recently, you know, just
really just just rapid did. It said shit. Just living in California. Yeah, what about you?
Little bit everything. Sometimes just don't listen to music. In the corner will listen to music too
often. Really? I don't either. I just like cut a chill. I chill or go podcast. Yeah, nothing.
Chiller podcast. What's your pod you listen to besides stiff socks? I don't like listening to too
many podcasts, but like maybe like bad friends sometimes bad friends is good good one. Yeah,
bad friends at the show. The other one sometimes great great. So you drive around you know this
in any music? Not really. Just thoughts. Just thoughts and vibes. And is that when you don't
know a lot of thoughts? It usually bring cooling down and then I forgot I forget to turn on music
all the time. I feel that. It's like when you're driving back and you're just listening to
Spanish radio the whole time. Well, there's there's died. There's no speakers on on fucking
Vespa. Oh shit. Zero speakers. I'll just listen to the wind dude. You got to like put a
air pod in or something. I do. I do. I have what do you call it?
I have a helmet that comes with it. Is that blue tooth in that bitch? No, but I taped a phone
to the top of it. So I could see it. So I got you got you got you got you got you. I need
music on it. You need like a JBL speaker or something like that. Yeah, you got to take that
Drew ski sketch like with the old heads with the half like blasting music like you should put like
insane JBLs on it. That's what I should do. You should put like the big that's what you should
do tomorrow for the vlog. For the video. The stream. Holy shit. You should put the biggest
speakers you can on it. That's 56 nights by future and just drive around with that. Yeah,
I would put rims on it too. Rims. I want you to put rims on it. I will put some 22s on it. That's
what I'm saying. I'm saying. Under 22s on it. Bro, you should hit up the people who did
Pimp my ride. West Coast Customs and see it. Yeah, get a fish tank on the back of your
backpack. That is actually pretty much all they did was just put fish tanks and fish tanks and
they're like, fuck it. Here's a TV screen. Where your window shield is when they used to do MTV
cribs and go like everyone's house. They'd be like, I have 20 things a pizza rolls in every guy
saying that they could have right every guy couldn't wait to say this is where the magic happens
and then they'd show the room where he comes in two minutes. It's where they show the room that's
rented. It's also really funny. Oh, yeah, I'm renting houses. I'm on cribs. I own. I'm not sure
what I live forever. Let's let's walk on that moment for a second. What did you say? You don't
know where you want to live forever. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what I don't know if I'm
going to live forever. No, here's the thing. We're not going to live forever. It's exactly what the
best. We are leasing life. Okay, life is a lease. Life is a lease. Time is borrowed. Yeah.
Time is a currency. John, that is good. But yeah, I don't know. I bought a place because I was just
I was paying rent and I just I just I I'm a Jewish man. So it's hard for me to like comprehend
like just giving money and then at the end you don't get anything back. Yeah, yeah, half. You
look like where are you Irish? No, you're not Irish. I not that I know of. You look like someone
I see it like it's saying, pay it these days. It's yeah, no, my dad, it's like Welsh in Russian.
Really? Yeah. Dad's Christian, mom's Jewish, but I don't think I look like either of them
understandable. Might be adopted. Don't really know. What's your background?
Um, like a little bit of Hispanic, a little bit of, uh, do you know?
Espanyol. Hey, do you speak it fluently, sir?
I have a sketch. Yeah, I'll sketch, uh, yo, pedo, arabáñol.
Can you do a talk about commercial right now? I just put in order them.
Did you? Yes. Don't I said, where's the restaurant? Don't they? We means where, right?
Yeah, I don't know. So your little little Spanish, little Spanish, what else?
Um, I don't remember the other half. I think it's French. It's something like I didn't ask.
It's something white. I just, I just know like, but what do you think my skin cover is like?
There's some ink on there? What's the ink on your hand? Is that from the Vespa?
Your other hand. I was playing with like playing markers earlier. Oh, we had a macaroni grill.
Have I been there? Yeah, they give you markers to draw. That is sick. Now I need to go there. No,
I went to David Buster's, which is actually, uh, is one of my favorite spots.
I fucking lovely, David Buster's. You went to a David Buster's and bought a Vespa in one day.
What is the one right now? You're a big kid. That's awesome. What time do you get up?
Nine. That's pretty good. That's earlier than me. That's pretty easy. That's pretty good. Yeah,
it's great. We're going to go to sleep though. Like three years ago?
Yeah, technically you went to bed at one in woke up at 11.
How? Because you're on Austin time, aren't you? Kind of. I just don't really sleep that often.
Why? You have like nightmares and stuff? Um, I spoke again for the other day.
And I started having nightmares as soon as I did off the weed off the weed.
I can't smoke weed. We didn't pull me to sleep. We just make my brain go bottle and then I just
it's because you all feel it. So Tiva, you got to get the indica. And then sometimes not as much.
I used to smoke every night, but not as much anymore. Make sure that's productive.
I just, I hate the fog in the morning, you know, but like I feel creative. I'll have like a podcast
with myself. This shit's awesome. Yeah. I love the creativity aspect of it. But
there's definitely a lot of brain fun to come to. Yeah, the next morning, I just feel dumb.
I feel like I'm like, I get that a lot. Like you know, when you get like a dead leg,
I feel like that's in my brain. And it's really less a lot longer. Once you realize if you quit
for a little bit, then you do it, then you realize the lag over there. You got to build your tons back up,
which I ain't doing all that. Do you do? I have to do short. I have to short. Do you ever thought about
contacts? Um, I guess. What do you get? Oh, shit. That's a big day. Oh, really? Yeah, wait,
the eyes. Well, I got to do everything on camera now. We got to make them money back from the
investment. Wait, can I see you without glasses? Okay. Holy shit. You're fucking hot,
either way, dude. That's sketchy. You should look good. You should get like a brand new lens
crafters. Well, please. That would be sick. We've tried that one. I'm sure we haven't tried that one.
Do you notice that a lot of CBS, what the fuck? Turbo tag CBS, but you're still doing great
financially, right? There's even better than ever, right? There's enough money to live. That's great.
That's all you need, man. Give it a day to time. You ever notice that more kids now now just
get the meta shit and it's come up to your order recording. Yes, I've had that. That happens all
the time and they act like you don't know. Are you recording right now? You do that to you like three
times a day so far. Wait, really? You were doing it, but why were you doing it? The camera man
using his own camera? You got a camera in your hands. He's a dirty. He's a dirty fellow.
And what were you trying to get? Just clip farming him, trying to get him to say something.
Well, kids will come up to me and just already see it blinking. I'm like, buddy, I know.
He likes to go through TSA and he leaves his computer in his bag on purpose and then he records
what happens. Oh, you trying to get like a viral moment? Yes. I have a joke about it. One time
I walked through the security and they told me to go back and walk how I normally walk. I was
like, that's how I, why the fuck do you know how I walk? Also, why would that affect anything?
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Yeah, sorry, you have a scanner. Oh, sorry, there's an RPG in my pants.
What's up? I was in JFK and we went through security to go that they
and he's for people I can't see. Darker Hispanic.
Framing out when he said, do you know who he is? And I was like, yeah, they go watch your stuff.
I'm like, what? They said, watch your stuff to him. Watch his stuff.
Like watch his stuff for him while he went into security check. Would they pass you down or something?
And were you recording for that? Did they? Oh, yeah. They say you should get in there.
They're all about she something say something. Fuck no. They were just like, this is not my job.
Keep an eye on it for me. Did they find anything?
Took you a long time.
It's micro man. It's a man. He's recording.
He's filming the fucking show. He's got a lot going on.
All right. So you're like off. You're off the weed ish. Are you drinking or not?
Drinking. Yes. Trying to slow down off the sauce.
Off the sauce. Today we didn't drink them. It's good.
This is that's big for a Tuesday. Tuesday. Tuesday.
They go to Catalina tomorrow. So maybe you have Catalina Island.
Place to get the wine mixture going. You're also rapping. You're in the studio.
Are we? What's up for this? Shipping. Not Virgin Nyquil.
Are we off the H Channel?
We have a little bit of text to tee every now and then.
Hey, come on now. Come on now.
I think that's how you do the chopped and screwed version.
You just take a little bit of, I did it once or twice.
I think you have to just to say your rapper.
Walk me through what that feeling is because I have no idea of slow.
Yeah. Do you feel slow very much?
It's not the best thing in the world.
Oh, really? Does it help you creatively?
It's not that it can slow down your thought process.
So if you're thinking if you're thinking like.
Yeah, like you ever hear like my Jones back in the day.
Like Slim Sugg.
Right. So everything's just like a slow motion.
It can give you like a different voice too.
Oh, oh, damn.
Like, like, like, Sultrier.
Like, like, like, like, like, like, what do you like?
Yeah, your voice probably deepens because you're like.
Yeah, tongues a little tongue, tongue tied, you guess?
Listen, I'm not percussed or anything like that.
Yeah, I talked to do perks and have a Vespa.
That's true.
And if you are, maybe you're doing something right with life.
I think it's kind of hard to be on lean and be on a Vespa.
That's why I personally haven't done that one.
Only did one time in a booth.
And it was, it was with a fellow rapper.
And it was, it was, it was okay.
Well, you're also off the list.
It was like I was for me.
Oh, yeah.
We also, are you from Houston?
Yeah.
That's a Houston thing.
It's a Houston day.
It's an age something.
I was in the Houston airport.
About three employees there were probably off pro methanes.
Yeah.
They've been yelling Paul Wall.
I'm like, why?
Paul Paul Wall is a Houston legend.
I know.
You got grills from Johnny Deng?
I want some.
Johnny Deng, come on.
Listen, I know that you had it.
Please Johnny, give it to me.
He would absolutely do it.
Grills, please.
Dude, shoot him at DM.
I have to show, I'll show him at DM.
He just wants to play golf.
Fuck.
You don't want golf?
I want grills.
God damn it.
Yes.
Please.
All right.
So where you at with, I feel like streaming is just really one up
and so fast with like collab.
And he's just everyone's maulging and maxing.
What the fuck's him going on?
I've sound so old even saying that.
But like, what do you think?
Like, I do.
I just feel like are these clippers like,
is kick just paying like $1,000 or $1,000 for a clip?
Kick plays pays a lot of people for clipping.
But I think you should have been pretty,
pretty active in the I wrote scene and then.
Yeah.
Because I feel like bad viral moments,
but it was like, he's done better.
Yeah, not some great ones.
But I feel like I open reels and it's just clav, clav.
And I'm like, I think he's funny.
Sometimes.
Well, so I'm like, so I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
With all the words in his dictionary,
but I guess it's captivating to watch.
But he's kicked just like pumping out clippers,
because I'm like, this kid's spawned
out of nowhere and everybody's just.
Yeah, they picked, they picked clippers.
Like I'm pretty sure kick is like the marketing arm
for just a gambling company.
Really?
They put a lot of money behind.
That's how all those deals are kind of structured
behind gambling, I think.
Walk me through that.
I think steak owns like the majority of kick.
I could be wrong, but I think it's takes a Drake one.
Yes.
Okay.
That's why Drake streams on kick.
Oh, that's why all the one,
all the people that I gamble stream on kick.
What would you say to someone who wants to start streaming?
Do you feel like it's someone like,
because like you have to commit to it
for dedicated hours every week and it's like schedule
or you just kind of like on whatever you're on?
I do on whatever I'm on,
but like if you want to just,
you just kind of one few, you got to go do TikTok live.
Then people start clipping you and then,
oh, that's how you do without having to like
just immediately start paying for it.
Did people, were you clipping yourself in the beginning
or people were just clipping you?
I would make stuff on my own account,
but like I wouldn't, I didn't have like a fan page of myself
or anything like that.
I didn't have like a clipping page.
I don't just like TikToks and then I post like some
that were edited.
Was there just, was there one or two that went off
that put you on the map?
Was it kind of just like a...
There was one that, I mean, this one, right.
What's up, brother, was like an accident.
I was just, I was waiting for Gen.C.
or Gen.C. was waiting on me and I was high
and he had, so I just ripped the bone
and he's like, where, where, where are you?
And I was like, so brother, that's great.
I bet it's in there for the night.
Early days of you and Gen.C. just reminds me of
just early cod days of Xbox Live.
That's my boy.
We like, that's what's probably my favorite people
I've ever met.
He's great, man.
I just feel like it's like watching you guys play on there.
It's literally just reminds me of being like during the pandemic
because I've been playing Xbox Live in so long
since like high school and then I got Xbox Live during the pandemic
and people are still just as racist and honestly like,
it like made me feel happy for the gamer community
that I'm like, there's still keep it going.
It's definitely bouncing back.
The call of duty, mon warfare too.
And I was like, of game is kind of coming back.
But I thought I was like, there's no way that people are still
going to be like Xbox Live.
How it used to be back in the day.
And then I got on and like a girl said something.
Some guys like, I know that's not a fucking girl talking.
I was like, she wanted to applaud and be like,
hey, you didn't let it down Xbox Live.
No, they'll slur it up on our craters.
That's for sure.
You get down by the wrong person.
You might get some eight speech.
Really?
They did that's what it's the open to open world open my games.
Rust, if you're a streamer,
I'll give you 15 minutes for you to catch the inward.
15, 15, 15, pretty good.
And how many viewers do you have to have before you catch that?
I think like 20.
Okay.
You have 20 viewers.
Dude, I went on a omega like recently on tour,
just like with the whole group just fucking around.
It's still the same thing.
It's white dudes jacking off and white dudes saying words
that Papa John said.
Like this guy literally hops on, sees us,
just hits us with it right away.
And then doubles down.
He says his name, his address,
and then says a word white people can't say multiple times.
You did in this was on a show?
This one on Omega.
They were like shot relit.
Damn.
Yeah, they like that side of the internet never stopped.
And then we kept tapping around with white dudes jerking off.
Just a little bit.
Big hog.
What?
Was it good?
Nero.
Nero.
It was weird.
It was weird.
I think he might have been a friend.
That's weird.
Well, it was probably awesome, you know?
Yeah, I think he was French or some shit, but
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I don't know before a little freaking edit session,
even before I do some shows,
they just make me feel hype with just like smooth hype,
dude, it's incredible.
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Damn.
What if that made a difference?
I don't know, I think French people are like
soccer jerseers and then more like a bag-at-type dick, you know?
Like, bumbley and longer by center.
Yeah, a bunch of carbs.
Yeah, exactly.
On the circumsize, that's the front.
But that side of the internet, I feel like it hasn't changed.
That's why I feel like watching you in jinks is so fun
because it's just like,
it feels like you're just watching two kids play Xbox Live
from back in the day.
Yeah, we pretty much just have fun together.
Streamers pretty easy.
We'd just try to have as much fun as possible.
What's the most random thing you've done in streaming?
Um, I don't know, like buying a vest for you random.
But what's the most random thing we think we've done?
Oh, we worked, we tried to, I thought I got a job at
a job at Pink Thought the day before.
So I showed up there, I didn't have a job.
And then I went to Dobrex and tried to get a job there.
How did you think you had a job at Pink Thought?
I talked to the dude like two months ago.
And he's like, you ever want to work here to show up?
And I showed up with, was that justice?
Yeah, I told him we have a job today.
And we didn't, we didn't have a job.
Was it the way I got?
No, that was the part.
Yeah, that, that fucked up.
That fucks you playing up.
Okay.
Then we went to Dobrex, he started to sling Dobrex,
and then we spent $600 just to sell four pieces of pizza.
Wait, why did you spend $600?
Because we were trying to prove a point that we could sell shit.
So we bought a bunch of merch.
They're like, go and like, if you buy, do, we'll give,
and then we know, we're like, you know what?
We'll buy your pizza for you.
Yeah.
And we counted those as sales.
You bought merch and then try to sell
Dobrex merch out front of the pizza shop?
We're trying to lure people in.
Yeah, they were flipping.
Is the ladies just kept walking even faster passes?
Yeah, it's that justice, you know, that's staring his guy.
They're like, we weren't all black too.
No, no, no, that is scary.
Yeah, it was nice.
He's security guard for vapes.
Night time on committed.
Such fucking terrible.
Okay, terrifying.
No, I love Jack Justice.
He's a great man.
I was thinking like streaming wise,
like it's almost like random like game you streamed or something.
Like if you ever just...
You were just streaming a game of stream?
Like worms of Armageddon.
I've never played that one before.
You know that?
Worms of Marageddon.
Did I just age myself?
That shit is hard.
I used to play shit.
Just type in Worms of Armageddon for Google.
Worms of Armageddon.
Bro, it's a heater.
Anybody listening?
I used to play a lot of VR poker.
And some VR.
What else?
Worms of Armageddon.
Yeah, I can't even talk.
What's up?
What is this?
Oh, Game Grumps.
Oh, oh, what is this?
Yeah, keep going around.
What the hell?
Why look at it?
This might be some shit where like I thought I played it growing up.
I don't know if I did.
No, I definitely did.
Worm of Armageddon.
Honestly, this is Worms of Armageddon.
This shit's like OG, like heater shit.
But it looks OG.
It's cool.
It's like e-bombs world type era.
I don't know what the game even was, but like...
I don't know what it is, you know, but I'm not that memory.
It's one of those games that you play like Crash Bandicoot.
You just remember it for a long time.
Yeah, I love that.
Do you ever stream Organ Trail?
No.
We streamed it recently.
You die so quick.
I forgot how hard it is.
How hard?
It's low key.
Well, you don't have any like choice.
You're like, hey, everything.
You're like, grandma got dysentery.
Like, what the fuck did she do?
Like, everyone just dies.
Yeah, it's all chance.
It's not like, there's no skill in it.
It's like a storytelling game almost.
It's like a virtual ass board game.
Like, you like stop at a store and it'll be like,
here's a thousand chillings.
How do you want to spend it on food or cattle?
And then if you buy cattle, though, like, you ran out of food.
If you buy food, like, you ran out of cattle.
Like vice versa.
That makes sense.
It's like, when you were a kid and you played it,
I remember, like, oh, this is fucking.
I think it's like boring as fuck.
You know what it is.
No, I think you know what it is.
But I'm saying, when you were a kid, you're like,
oh, my God, this is incredible.
And you played it as dope.
Yo, what the fuck is this?
Well, now we're, I mean, we got like GTA 6 coming out.
So it's like, that's what you're competing with.
Yeah, it's also VR porn and everything else.
It's like, what is it?
There's a lot of, a lot of new stuff, a lot of new age.
Yes, I guess a rock.
Rock is everywhere now.
The AI and Tussles or Twitter.
Twitter.
X.
Yeah.
Yeah, I saw a video where people are just tricking
into saying, they're just bullying AI.
Like, this is not going to happen.
I'm sure yourself, but I cut, but Trevor Wallace in a thong.
Can you do that?
They can.
They're probably doing it right now, Jack.
Please do not do that right now.
Is that like the one AI that doesn't,
because sometimes you'll type something,
they'll be like, oh, we can't do this or something.
Sometimes I think they do that.
I've never tried on dressing someone on Twitter.
Sir, is this.
Is this right?
I might have a burner.
I'm not just kidding.
You got a burner?
No, I'm not.
I'm not Kevin Durant.
There are websites now where you can put in any girl you want,
like, say on your phone, and you can pay money to have it
undressed them.
Bro, it puts it into an AI, like,
that is wrong with you.
That's good maxing.
Yeah, what is wrong with you, bro?
What is the website?
What is the link to what the fuck is wrong with you?
But like, yo, something that shit,
but like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Might have to sign up.
Yeah, but there's AI and everything on that shit.
But knowing that it's AI that like takes the like
hotness out of it, I don't like when AI tells you
you're going to a Simpson, they can't help me.
Like, what do you mean?
Like, what are you typing in?
Cousin fucking?
No, I have this, no, no, I'm being serious.
I have this fucking incest joke.
And I was like, I was typing in and being like,
and being like, for this incest joke,
I need a list of a very specific thing.
And it was like, oh,
family members.
Forget, I honestly forget,
but it told me is like,
since this, since this idea is about incest,
I can't help you.
And I was like, it's for a joke.
And it was like, no, we can't help you.
Fuck you.
You're a computer.
I pay for you.
Yeah.
If I want to talk about incest,
fuck you.
They're trying to stop the spread of incest in America.
Fire away, fire away.
What was the joke?
I'm not doing stand-up here.
What was the premise?
Like, what was the list you needed?
Where were you trying to go with that one?
No, I didn't know.
The premise is it should be frowned upon,
but it shouldn't be illegal.
Is the premise.
Michael Blossom for president, 2028.
I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't see any other way.
What's up?
I said, it is something a president would do.
I mean, that's something a president has done for so long.
That's the, that's sort of another layer of this bit.
It's like people that were like really influential
in the world.
All fuck their cousins.
Yo, what a pretty good truth they can't have the UK.
Really?
Oh, also the death.
That is what I typed in.
That is what I typed in.
I was like, who, who, who married their cousin,
who went in test with their cousin,
like that are famous people.
Dude, you got your camera guy.
Quadruple working right now.
You just cracked the gator with his mouth open
while recording three different cameras.
In the least unquiet way possible.
No, I just saw that.
That's all right.
That's skilled.
I, I thought that that was great.
You're right in the best film.
Can you have your wheelie on it now?
I don't know how to wheel you on that thing.
I'm just gonna hope I don't need a puddle or something.
I think you lean.
Also, is that shit on the ground?
Is that dog shit?
On the shit?
You're stepping something.
You stepped in dog shit?
Were you near a dog today?
I don't know what this is.
I don't know if you'll touch it.
Eat it, eat it.
Eat it.
I'm joking, I'm joking.
That's shit.
No, is he really just touched that?
Is it really?
He really just touched it.
Sketch.
Don de esta albano.
I don't know where he is from.
You put the shit, literally shit in right off your nose.
That's awful.
Oh, I smell it.
I literally smell it.
I was gonna say it's got like a great dain ask feel.
But you put this shit.
I mean, we found the episode intro.
I'll say that.
You put it in your face.
I was double checking to see what it was
because I felt like fabric still.
Fabric?
Are those a piece of my paint?
Were you around a place with dogs?
That took a picture.
I mean, probably lost Angela.
You want to see this picture?
You took a picture?
You taking out your phone with your shit hand?
Wait, where did you take this?
It was at it.
Are those denim sweatpants?
They're denim and they're joggers.
Yo.
So you tell me chains and joggers?
Maybe it's from this one.
Oh, yeah, there might be some shit on the ground out there.
There might be some shit on the ground out there.
I'll bro, yeah.
Yeah, what's that?
You didn't know what the genems?
The genems.
That shit's hard.
So wait, is one side more comfortable than the other
since one's denim and one's sweatpants?
I don't wash them right away.
Those are for real the best pants.
I think you could wear to a strip club.
So you what?
All right.
The best pants for Vespas.
Yeah.
Did you say you don't wash them right?
What is the correct way to wash those pants?
I don't wash them one night again.
They're half and half.
I don't think they're they go.
I don't think they're the correct way.
I don't know everything in the wash.
Dude, that shit's really got to your brain quickly.
I think I think I can just
and it's like ever heard of some
capis.
Wait, isn't that weed?
Isn't that baby came?
No, you spoke capis.
It makes you trip.
How do you smoke cap?
It's called cheesy.
How do you what in the Houston?
Did you say to me?
Wait, but isn't that baby came?
Says that in the substance of smoking cap piss.
He talked about it's like people will
rob joints.
Dabble it in cap piss.
Let it dry.
They smoke it and it makes them lose it.
Honestly, I got a cat.
I've never thought about that.
But I'm out of bit.
I'm about to just I'm about to do it tonight.
I'm about to roll up on some some CP capis.
It's really called cheesy.
I wonder if the thing is like,
who is the first person to find that out?
That's what I want to find.
Like, did he buy mistake?
Might have been my cousin Keegan,
because he's the one that taught me about it.
I'm looking up cheesy.
It says it was made from South Park.
It might be fictional.
It might be fictional?
Yeah.
Damn it.
Well, somebody had to try it.
Someone tried everything.
So capis doesn't make it you are.
There's a cat piss, uh,
sativia brand,
but I don't see anything on smoking actual capis.
Never mind, then.
I just started a rumor and five kids,
got kids across the country,
smoking capis now.
Dude, I used to do anything.
Like, my freshman year of high school,
we would just go online and find out like,
what you could take to get like,
fucked up.
We would just like type shit and then be like,
oh, go to a CVS and get like 19
of these over the counter things.
And we'd just take them because they're bored.
Now, I'm not saying you should do that.
No, but yeah,
we would just be like 19 course eating cough and cold
and be like, yeah,
this seems like a good idea.
Say you'd like to rip, uh,
say, what are you ripping in?
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So,
you have a sure amount.
You have to put that big glass.
Do you ever put it with some sprite?
Get that virgin lingo?
Virgin dirty soda?
Yeah.
You really do?
Every night.
Every night.
All right, that's all fine.
It makes sense.
Dude, I watched a strange addiction,
my strange addiction,
where the woman was eating cat food.
Did you guys see that one?
No.
Holy shit.
My strange addiction,
that's sure.
Everyone on there,
I want to be like,
you just some pick me shit.
It's also like,
I mean mattresses.
Sure, buddy.
I know.
Dude,
the last one I saw was this woman
that smelled her dad's underwear.
You see this one?
Smell her dad's underwear
and then chat GBT about that one.
I mean,
buddy,
they would probably
help me with the fucking list.
The best one for sure
is her dad's underwear.
Here it is, dude.
When I'm working with a client,
I would tie the underwear
like around like almost like a mask
like around my face.
That way,
I can just constantly get the smell
like it's there.
Dude, when COVID happened,
she was so excited.
I know this world.
Look at it.
It's like taking that first
of all.
That's her dad's underwear.
Yeah, and she told,
she said to everyone
that she doesn't smell the back.
When she told her dad,
she's like, no, relax.
I don't smell the back.
I just smell the brown.
It's not really worse.
Yeah, she only smelled it.
She only smelled it.
Hey,
Pekker,
Pekker,
juice.
How about you smell the side?
How about you don't smell it?
Don't smell it.
That is a weird thing to do.
What are you doing if you're the dad
and you walk in your daughter
smelling your boxers?
I'm leaving the family.
She's my pants.
She would love that.
She would love that.
Yes, this guy,
this guy's a legend.
With his car,
Chase,
for 27 years,
sketch with his vest plan
has been an intimate
relationship with his car,
Chase,
for nearly five years.
That is pretty intimate,
Kiss and Metal Island.
His roommate, Kim,
he's one of the few
that I know is the truth.
Why did he crack her?
He's turned about how Nathaniel will hold up.
Because she's not a muffler.
Find out.
Yeah,
you have a stranger
one of the people
with this.
That's so crazy.
That's wild.
Hey,
can we be my roommate?
Also,
I fuck me out of this.
Just a heads up.
Just a heads up.
I get hard to Mazda 3s.
Is this true with you?
That was a Mazda.
It was me.
I don't know what it was.
It couldn't be something good.
Maybe a Honda CRV.
No, maybe a Honda,
uh,
Odyssey.
What the convertible one?
I don't know.
Maybe it's an old mobile.
Probably just.
It was a love at first sight.
His body.
Oh god.
Imagine him.
Imagine him just seem to
wait.
His.
That is,
that's a Chevy.
His.
My name's
and you pay me.
That's a Miss American team.
That was a love at first sight.
Yeah,
they're myself here.
I'm sorry.
Do you imagine him
test driving that car?
He's like,
let me go and get the keys.
He's like,
you don't need that.
Get the baby oil.
Yeah.
Oh, he died.
His love died.
Who?
The car died?
It's got an accident.
What does that mean?
Mother fucker put a new
engine in it and re-starves.
Just does it.
I feel like he does it better.
How are you going to do it?
Accinate.
Aren't you just fucking it?
Bro, he put it on a blanket.
Like that was the perfect
place for him.
And just having
the great
what do he's doing
to the Toyota fogs?
Just cute stuff.
I can get the bag.
Bro, he should just go to a junkyard and go.
What?
He's going right there.
Go back.
Go back.
Bro, he literally
Toyota thonda all over that bitch.
Oh my god.
That was his send-off.
He's like, I love you so much.
God.
He's like porn hub.
What about CarMax?
CarMax.
He's probably scrolled to that thing all day.
Dude, what an insane.
Oh my god.
Yeah, his porn hub.
I want to know what his new car is.
There's the gun.
Where's the new car?
Dude, his dating profile is Kelly Bluebook.
He's trying to look up the history.
Bro, he literally has like he has like
gigabytes of hers.
Send me the car facts.
Yeah, he doesn't have a time.
Yeah, two dollars.
That's kind of...
Dude, this isn't like the fact that this is just normal
and on TV and the producers aren't like, hey, buddy,
do you need help?
This is something about weird love.
Let him.
I'm just trying to figure out what is next car is.
Did he get another car?
That's a good question.
I don't think he can afford a car.
What?
Yeah, you don't need to afford it.
He's going to a parking lot.
I moved on.
Exactly.
I was looking for new vehicles.
Told you.
Oh, I moved on quick.
Oh.
I love Lex, normal.
This guy's low-key at pieces.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
He's a car.
What are you doing?
He really fast.
Thank you for all you do for me.
You pay me.
What?
Bro.
Oh.
That's awesome.
Imagine you're selling a car to him
on like Facebook marketplace.
But that's what I'm saying.
Like, what did the test drive look like?
Where they're like, he's like, yeah.
So are the bumpers malleable?
They're like, no, they're hard.
He's like, ah, fuck.
Do they kiss back?
Oh my God.
This guy for sure sat on the stick shift.
I'll say that.
Oh my God.
Dude, you put a flashlight in a tailpipe
and just fucking went to town.
That's wrong.
Oh my God.
Oh my, my ginger-diction people.
They need to keep doing.
Is this show still on?
My ginger-diction?
No, I think so.
I mean, dude, I was-
TLC is just nothing but-
TLC is like, what's wrong with you?
How can we monetize off of it?
Exactly.
TLC loves doing shows that are like blank and blank.
Do we think this is-
It'll be like blind and bitchless
and then they'll just put you on air.
What TLC?
I mean, TLC is a robot.
It's like this type of thing.
They're like, I think you're going to apply
and they'll like up it a little bit.
Up it, yeah, yeah.
They'll produce a little bit.
Like he probably only like put like hot wheels in his ass
and they're like, what if you loved it in real life?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if you love this full thing?
My ginger-diction.
Yeah, TLC shows are crazy.
Can you see what's just on TLC right now?
The last ginger-diction I saw
because it was in the episode was a woman
with a cleaning product, sniffing cleaning product.
So I get nervous, yeah.
You know what I mean?
I'm just like, you're talking about-
Yeah, just a powder cleaning product.
She kept it underneath her bed.
She was a truck driver.
Really?
She would just snort it.
She would snort a can of it a day.
Maybe she's honest on it.
I mean, she's like, it burns.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
Yeah, from Fenderburn.
What is that?
Is it still on?
New season, guys.
It looks like a new season is coming out soon.
You.
Oh, dear God.
Let's watch this.
Oh, she wants trailer.
My name is Wendee.
Raw meat.
Oh, when you got there.
Oh, this is raw hamburger meat.
And I'm addicted to eating raw meat.
Oh, yo.
Absolutely disgusting.
Put her on the hub.
I rubbed her a smile on my body.
Dog, shit.
Oh, man.
Oh, she's talking about vaving.
Was she addicted to rubbing her-
Is it when you smell your own vagina?
It's when you take your vagina juice
and you rub it on yourself.
It's supposed to be fresh.
Yeah, what do you guys call that?
That's a good question.
It's called-
That's cheesy right there.
But it's musking up there.
Elon musking up.
He planted the pherobones going
It's got to work for somebody.
I'm addicted to eating live bugs.
Oh.
Yeah, he looked like a bug's motherfucker.
Eating hot glue sticks.
So I'm all of my food.
So I'm all of my food.
I'm addicted to-
Did you just eat that?
That's like flavorful.
They're colors, not flavors.
Would you like to smell my wrist?
There's a porcelot of-
Oh, for girls vaving here, man.
She has to smell it.
Listen.
I already smelled it on your soul, time.
Yeah, that's a little much.
She just threw on somebody.
I should be excited.
Would you wear it on my cell?
I would eat it on my cell.
Don't you get like pesticides in there?
Yeah, I don't think it's back to me.
It can cause stomach cancer.
It can cause pain.
Always go to the doctors.
So if you had a strange addiction, what would you choose?
My signature addiction.
I think mine's already up there.
Yeah, you were also eating raw meat.
I'm retired now.
Why?
One and done.
Come back.
What's the point of being like now?
I got the best girlfriend in the world.
Oh.
Where's your friendable?
To your health?
A friend of a friend.
That's always the best relationship.
A friend of a friend.
Yeah.
You've ever been, uh, never mind.
I was gonna say, let's say like, have you ever had that
not work out where a friend introduces you to another friend?
Like, hey, you guys should mean.
You're like, no, no one tried to set us up.
We just got to like hit it off.
It was pretty easy.
Oh, really?
Yeah, it's easy to get along with.
She's pretty awesome.
Fuck yeah, dude, that's beautiful.
What are the qualities that make her so like get alongable?
Um, she's understanding.
All right.
I love you.
I love it.
Honestly, I love it.
Honestly, that's all you need.
Yeah.
This one's for you, honey.
You want to make, she drives maybe better?
That's great.
I thought, at first, I can only say she drives me weed.
I thought that was the first sentence.
She makes you a better person.
She made you, she made you, she helped me quit weed.
That's great.
And then I came back for another year.
It's a quick hit.
Well, it's like a Tomb Raider.
I can do it too.
That's a great point.
Tomb Raider, you took it.
You're off and came right back.
Yeah, and I think he won a Super Bowl or close,
or you go fill up Rivers mode and you come back,
take three hits and you get the fuck out of there.
Is he back to just being a dad now?
I think so.
Is he released?
They didn't even give him a full contract, right?
He really does.
He has his own NFL team at his disposal.
He has enough kids to play a full football team again.
Is it with the same wife?
I'm not sure.
God imagine her.
It's 10 kids, right?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I think it's more than that.
More?
I think it's like 11.
Is it more like a beat, Nick Cannon?
Yeah.
The white net, that's a hard one to beat.
Phillip Rivers and Nick Cannon, those like,
Phillip Rivers sounds like the white net Cannon.
Can you check it out?
No, I understand.
Like Phillip Rivers is a guy who nuts a lot.
His name is Phillip.
Phillip.
Phillip her.
Phillip her with Rivers.
Seaman.
I mean, dude, this is why this is not real.
No, all 10 kids are her kids,
are his kids.
Her name's Tiffany.
Scientific fact, you can,
the body can take 30 kids.
That's disgusting.
That's a golden retrieval.
I think only Gigi's gone,
is a common staff.
30.
30 kids, man.
Can you, you got to start,
you got to start like biblically early.
Do you think they, like 14?
Do you think they, like, say a question?
Go ahead.
Do you think they, they, they, uh,
did like some science experiment where like,
it got to 31 and she just like exploded.
Exploded?
Oh, she made that number up,
made a nice, a bullshit number, probably.
Yeah, that's playing old stuff.
But also if I'm Phillip Rivers and you know,
you have that genetic gene, like,
why not have 10 kids?
Two of them will go to the SEC, at least.
You know, like, you have something,
you can raise a bunch of other quarterbacks.
Yeah, I mean, just going until he hits one.
I mean, I do just imagine I had a 10 kid,
you have no NFL players.
Like what?
I would look immediate in my wife,
and then what's your problem?
What's wrong with you in my part?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It has to be them.
Bonnie Blue's pregnant.
Yeah, so Bonnie Blue did a challenge
where she had unprotected sex with 400 men.
And it came out that she is pregnant from it.
Dude, this is just publicity.
I'm out.
Yeah, man, the sun is hot.
Yeah, bear shit in the woods.
Yeah, I'm sketch will smell it.
I didn't know it was shit.
If you crack 400 men,
she probably got pregnant on like a third.
Obviously, dude, that's,
but the kid is going to come out,
and it's going to be a mixture.
It's like, you know, when you take all the sodas
and you go down here and mix it,
that's like the total suicide,
exactly what he's going to do.
I think the kids that kid,
that kid has the best chance of being in the NFL.
If it's 400 different men.
Oh, I agree.
The NFL or the goonies.
I didn't mean any of that.
High potential, high potential for the ceiling is very high for him.
Pro, that's like, that's got to be the season finale of Mari.
Like, who is the father?
Like that, they should do that episode then end Mari forever.
Are you, they would have, they would have do that
at Madison Square Gardens.
They brought wood.
I might take it.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Why were you, did you, were you in the line?
I put my name in the hat,
but I didn't, I got wait listed.
Yeah, wait listed.
You didn't pass the SDT test?
No.
SAT or SDT.
Yeah, I got wait listed, you know.
I had to go to university of Lili Phillips,
but we're on the list.
She's got standards now.
Nice lady.
But, uh, I don't know.
I'm saying shit.
It's not a press dude,
but the weirdest shit ever is like,
we had her on our podcast like maybe two years ago.
And then like, people come up to me and publics and times like,
what does she smell like?
I'm like, buddy, what?
Seaman.
No, but like, people will ask me.
And I'm like, yeah, the, the gooners of the gooners out there
freak me out.
That's where we're like, hey, we did that chapter.
We interviewed some, some ladies in that film
and, in that industry about that.
I think, man, once you get a guy,
it comes up to you in the Lexington.
Can talk your own talk of legend.
Yeah.
Me and my cova was a big one that people come up to me about.
Really?
Yeah.
They go, how, how is she?
Like, you're like, just a woman just to come in,
tits out.
Yeah, just a person.
It's a normal person.
Yeah.
You guys want to do a sock talk?
Yeah, it's your, uh, a written in question
and we'll, uh, call it a day.
So this sock talk is from Frankie.
He acts.
What are some creative ways of looking at ass out in public,
but not being obvious?
Um, I have a good one for that one.
Say again, take it away.
Look at it.
You know, I've seen, I've seen people with the,
with new Rayman glasses.
Oh, you got to do ones that hide the,
the blinking thing.
Yeah, that's when we're all fucked.
And we start hiding the blinking.
Yeah, I got, I got caught by one of those the other day, actually.
Really?
It was Oakley's.
Oh, the one in the middle.
Yeah, like, just anybody wearing glasses around me.
Oh, then you saw it on there.
I was like, whoa, shit, what the fuck was it filmed?
Yeah, it is crazy.
I noticed one, uh, there was a guy waiting outside of this venue recently
and I didn't know what to see.
He had him on and then, uh, in the middle of it caught him.
I wanted to be like, hey, but it is just crazy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you're just like, whatever, you know,
but I'm, yeah, I was like, I was in a good mood.
I was chilling.
The guy was nice.
So I was like, didn't have any problem with it,
but it's like, they're just everywhere.
And they're going to start putting them like on the shirt
in the back of their head soon.
Yeah.
I know it's off topic, but it's definitely dog shit on my foot.
Oh, yeah, and like a big dog more and more.
You do.
I just know when you put it right next to your nose.
What's like, grab it and got to right here.
I could damn near taste it.
Yeah.
My strange addiction.
That's not what I was in a dicking.
Good ways to look at ass.
I just look for the bathroom.
Where's the bathroom, man?
I wouldn't do that.
I'm in a relationship.
I'm in love.
You are?
Yeah.
Congratulations.
Hey, thanks, man.
Congratulations.
Yeah, but back in my single days.
But honestly, girl's been looking at guys bulges anyways.
I'm sick of that.
Well, it's not, it's humanly to be like, to make an observation.
Like in a parking lot today, I was with my girlfriend
at a coffee shop and I go, that girl is a BBL.
That's an observation.
But I get in trouble for that.
No, it's because I was like seeing like an alien.
Yeah, it's not like you're in Miami.
And this has just seen like a person.
Yes, that's just more aliens.
Right.
It's a land of BBL.
Yeah, the land of BBL is just kind of scary.
But like whenever I point out a BBL, it's not like in like a,
I'm trying to like a, a woo-go way like it's just like, whoa,
woo-go, woo-go.
Yeah, it's just was like, holy shit.
Look at her doctor.
Yeah, it's more for science.
Yeah.
You're just like, how do those legs sport that?
Right.
It's like when you see those house in the hills that are like on the,
the hillside with like the poles.
I don't really know.
Yeah, it's like how Nicki Minajit,
that Nicki Minajit, it's just seemed to,
it's just so slow.
It's the overhang, yeah.
Yeah, it's got the, I don't even know how to describe it.
It's like, yeah, like an unhoused man can live underneath it.
It's like with a water droplet,
it just starts fuel falling up and then just drops.
Yeah, if it's raining, I'm going under there.
Do you think so?
Yeah, that one's got, it's been pretty crazy.
Yeah.
Did you ever response to that?
No.
Good man.
And we have a more smart man on the show.
What has been the most memorable thing to happen to you in the past five years?
Um, there was just one time I was, uh, I, I had a job and then, uh,
no one knew about it.
And then, uh, one day everyone knew about it.
And that was pretty memorable.
How are we going to follow that, man?
I think that's the answer.
I think I was going to say that, I think that's it.
But my question to this, did you, you subconsciously knew about this stuff?
So when stuff starts taking off, was there a second way you're like,
I should make sure that's deleted or you're like, wait, that was so out there.
No, I guess it just kicks internet cash forever.
I deleted all my stuff or whatever.
And then I had to just DMCA it.
What was that?
Did you get removal?
Yeah, I forget what it stands for.
Like someone can't steal your content.
Oh, that's funny to get a copyright strike.
Yeah.
Hey, the copyright strike.
There it is, guys, there it is.
That's what it was.
Um, memorable moment last five years.
I used to film for this guy back in the day.
And he was doing such stuff.
And then he blew up on the internet.
And it was a POV video.
And he was blown.
No, I don't, I did the,
memorable thing over the last five years.
I mean, how do you follow that?
I don't know.
He can't.
I mean, he can't.
It's a meeting Dave Chappelle.
That's, that's that.
That's an awesome one.
That's that.
And then he blew me.
Michael?
Yeah, I blew Dave Chappelle, I think.
Maybe I, uh, I don't really have like any.
Nothing.
Fucking, I don't know.
Come on.
I got something.
Something.
I got nothing, dude.
Uh, fucking meeting my girlfriend for the first time.
Me, dude, that's crazy.
Meeting my, my girlfriend, um, on Raya and falling deeply in love.
That's beautiful.
And now she's a car.
Guys.
Yeah, she's been an episode.
She's an Impala.
Thank you for listening and watching Stiff Socks.
Scott, thank you for coming on.
Thanks for having me.
It was a blast.
So, for the guest who episode to come out of this,
it was very funny.
Um, dude, thanks for coming by.
Thanks for, thanks for having me.
It was a blast.
Appreciate it.
Love y'all.
Sir, thank you so much, dude.
No, thank you all.
I'm really glad we found out those dogs.
Yeah, trail, though, from wherever I walk.
So, no, I think that was the funniest.
No, it's more, it's there.
It keeps coming out.
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