373: SCRUB STEP DADDY

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What the fuck did I talk into?

Celebration.

Celebration or what?

What the fuck did I talk into?

Celebration or what?

Celebration or what?

What the fuck?

Celebration.

I'm going to be honest, not one of these guys have a good pod.

Not one of them.

Are we in?

I was looking at my phone to see what we were going to talk about.

There's a plethora of things we were talking about.

Oh, sorry.

Plethora.

You would read hell no.

Audio books.

Uh, Squadipoddy, creator, arrested in Utah for buying C, SP, got it.

Wow, so that's...

That's how he figured out that it would be useful.

Excuse me?

The Squadipod.

Oh, he probably saw, like, his...

He probably had kids in the basement, like, oh, damn, they need a toilet.

Yo!

Oh, hold on.

You don't understand how stuff works.

What do you mean?

No, no, no.

Yo, you know what it was?

Wait.

It was a step stool.

It was a step stool to get into the toilet.

That's exactly what he's talking about.

Fuck!

Like, I think...

I don't remember being a kid, but I think you have to use one of those...

I don't remember being a teenager.

But, yeah, you saw...

So, all we're doing is just shitting like kids are doing.

Huh?

Correct.

All we're doing...

Because a Squadipoddy is what you use.

That's what kids use.

Do they?

Nobody in here has kids?

I thought...

Jack, don't you have one?

I thought you had to, like, step...

Yeah, they use it to, like, step up and use it for the bathroom.

Right, but...

Okay, first of all, okay, there's a lot going on wrong.

Number one, what he bought.

Insane, illegal.

That's very...

Can do that.

Secondly, he's making money off things that are already existing.

Is this right?

He's making money...

Like, they...

Like, Fisher Price...

Or whoever the fuck made these four kids to shit.

He's like, oh, what if I made a business model on that for adults?

I...

I think the part that I'm missing is...

The party party's existed for kids.

That's how they get up to the...

That's how they get up.

Like, there's a stool next to the toilet so they can climb up on there.

And then this fucking freak...

You probably didn't use shit at his boyfriend's house.

And then he, like, put his feet on it.

Right.

He had a better shit than that.

And his poopies came out great.

So, not only is he...

Not a great guy, but he's also just making money off things that already existed.

I'm trying to get this joke to work a few times.

And every once in a while, I'll do it.

I'll be like...

If I see a bidet at your house, I'm fine with it.

But if I see a squatty party at your house, kill yourself.

I can't picture the thought of a grown man...

You have to call it with me like...

With your ass fully exposed at the door.

Imagine I walk in, I just make direct contact with your eye hole.

Can I say this though?

It does work.

And it is awesome.

And it slides out.

Like slides out.

When your feet are up.

Yeah.

Like...

Like just...

I mean, it just...

I don't even know...

Like...

Like frozen yogurt.

Just...

Just...

And it's...

There's no...

It's just...

Like an empty Pepsi bottle sound.

I don't know.

And, but don't they do this in Japan?

I think they do a lot of stuff in Japan.

They probably do.

But you can't see it because it's burnt out.

Zero laughs?

How many laughs was that?

Zero?

A smurf from Alex.

We liked it.

We liked it.

We liked it.

The board liked it.

The board did like it.

Um...

But it's...

It's a crazy thing to be associated with a squatting party.

And then...

Then this is your next action.

Yeah, buddy.

Just stick to shit.

Just stick to shit, man.

See...

Jail?

For a long time.

Yeah!

Okay.

Alright.

He's gonna be squatting on some other news, Dick.

That's a problem.

He might like it.

I don't know.

Here's what I do know.

Uh...

Fuck.

I mean...

How...

Go ahead, Jack.

It's like...

Does everyone who gets rich just become...

Yes.

Dude, I have a fucking joke about it.

I go, what is the number?

Because I need to know.

Because I need to make right below that number.

It's a literally new joke of my act.

And I go, I want to make right then and then stop.

Because...

That's it.

Come back, boom, jail.

Literally my bit.

I go...

Yeah, I literally go.

And then I forget about inflation.

And then I start feeling it coming up.

And I'm just telling the joke.

And I start feeling it coming up.

And I throw the person that works at a grocery store,

my Rolex.

And she goes, why are you doing that?

Because I don't want to jerk off the Paw Patrol.

Leave me alone.

I love this.

And that's a bit.

Yeah.

So this is the psychology is that the vast majority of rich people

get their wealth by being selfish and screwing people over.

Good people aren't willing to do that.

So they get tired of screwing over adults

and they start screwing over kids?

Yeah, pretty much.

Doing bits already, go ahead.

Yeah.

And that's the psychology.

Good people don't tend to screw people over.

Therefore they're good.

Is there any CEOs that people like?

That's cool.

Or they all like chopped and cooked and...

Chaps and cooked to me because...

To just self-carrying.

To his point.

To his point.

To his point.

To each other massages.

To his point though, you have to be a psycho.

To get to the ranks of CEO of a major company.

You have to be a psycho.

You have to be a psycho to be in politics.

You have to be a psycho to be a CEO.

You have to be a psycho to be wealthy wealthy.

Yes, sir.

Do you think you're a psycho?

Do I think I'm a psycho?

I think I'm a psycho to a point.

Yes.

And then I have empathy.

But I don't think...

Right, right.

I think these people are like money over fucking everything.

It's interesting.

Because money gives me power,

because when I was younger, no one gave a fuck about me.

Now I have power and everyone cares about me.

Roll in toys or us.

That felt like a Kanye West tweet.

And to the new clipper, that's right there.

There's your moment.

If you want a clip for us, there you go.

But I will say, what's funny is,

these guys run companies with like 50,000 people.

We run companies with three people.

And none of them were kids.

So the person that I'm the most insane to is myself.

Yes.

You know?

Are inner childs.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Hey, am I trying to fuck me inner child?

If you touch yourself.

Oh, shit.

Squatty body.

Oh, shit.

Full circle.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm just trying to pick up on what was going on in the news.

And that was my algorithm out there.

Yeah.

Squatty body CEO.

Can I just relax?

What is happening?

Absolutely.

I mean, I don't get like, what is the impulse?

I don't, I mean, I was, I don't fucking understand.

But like, there should be, you know,

there's those websites like Calche and all that.

It's like, what's the next CEO that's going to go down?

What's your guess?

Squatty.

After squatty potty, scrub daddy.

Scrub daddy is great.

Scrub daddy.

He's going to be fucking dreaming his own cock with it one day

and be like, yeah, call me daddy.

Call me the scrub daddy.

And what does the scrub daddy CEO look like?

And please don't sue.

I mean, no ill intent.

If you guys want to do a brand deal, I will work.

Oh, yeah, he's next.

I mean, look at that thing.

It's meant to get fucked in the mouth.

Dude, you're right.

Right.

Yeah.

Whoa, hold on, hold on.

What, what, what if they have a scrub mama?

And it's a soft sponge.

And the mouth is just a pussy.

It's a smile.

But like, oh, they do have one.

What the hell?

Is it just the same thing with pink?

Yeah, that's a little slow.

Yeah, but they got to have like this, ooh, ooh, ooh,

scrub step daddy.

You just find it.

You just find it.

And they got felt in the mouth.

I'm trying to make a flesh that they can also clean.

Hey, you know what they should do?

They should have a fleshlight where the condom they have

to put on before you fuck to fleshlight is a sponge.

So when you come, you're cleaning your fleshlight.

Yo, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Hear me out.

You know how they, at the airport sometimes they have the

saran wrap that goes around the bowl, then like rotates away.

Yes.

That, but in a fleshlight.

I'm in.

So you nut and throw it away.

I'll give you 10%.

Ron Shark Tank.

TrevorWalls.com.

I'm filming my specialist weekend in Arizona.

We make Sarah's on a March 13th and 14th.

I think the first two shows are sold out.

So we added one.

The late show Saturday, March 14th.

Pull up, pull out.

Do what you got to do.

Very, very low tickets on all of those.

I'm so excited to see you.

And then a few other tickets left for New Jersey in New York

on TrevorWalls.com and Boston, Massachusetts.

The week after TrevorWalls.com.

I love you all.

Michael Blas time.

Where are you going to be yelling about meat, feet,

and everything above?

Ladies and gents, today I'm in freaking pub desert.

So a few tickets left.

Go get them.

March 14th.

I'll be in Las Vegas.

Sorry.

This Saturday.

My bad.

I'll be in March.

Jesus Christ.

March 14th.

Guys Saturday.

Have a calendar.

Las Vegas.

All right.

Low tickets.

Biva.

Sorry.

Biva.

And then the next date I need to do is April 9th.

I'll be in Spokane, Washington.

All right.

April 10th.

I'll be in Seattle.

April 11th.

I'll be in Eugene, Oregon.

April 16th through the 18th.

I'll be in Dayton, Ohio.

May 8th.

May 9th.

I'll be in Calgary.

May 29th through the 31st.

I'll be in Charlotte.

And then so many other dates.

Guys, go get tickets at blog.com.

That is blogcomedy.com.

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Oh my god.

Yeah, I don't know what's happening, but I do know.

What can I actually, I don't know.

So scrub that issues to sponge.

Yes, with a smile.

All right, guys, I ran press the button.

What are we doing?

No, what are we doing?

Why did a sponge?

Why did a sponge just pick?

Is it career going too well, buddy?

Are you trying to throw yourself under the bus here?

Why is a sponge?

Dude, it's a modern day pet rock.

But it's a fucking sponge.

Yeah.

But no, no, no, no, I think you missed my point.

It's a sponge and they put a smile on it.

But because doing the dishes isn't a smiling activity.

So you're like, oh, these are the cute, like, buddy.

You're thinking about it and like the content, like,

fuck you on the comedian wave.

Yeah.

You got a target.

And there's a mom.

She's got four triplets.

What?

It was a buy-through.

You get one free.

Four triplets.

But like, she got like 12 kids.

She's so dragged down.

She's exhausted.

Yeah.

Just buying all the school supplies.

And then you see a sponge with a smile on it.

That's kind of fun.

I, I, yes.

I hear that in the context of like, oh, it's a cute novelty thing.

But this thing blew the fuck up.

And I think the smile is literally, like, it's for something.

I think you put your fingers in and your thumb or something.

It's not just a smile.

Well, it's for something.

Hold on.

The mouth is for a spoon.

Say that.

Oh, shit.

Really?

Yeah.

And the eye holes are like for like a knife for you to like easily just.

What about a dagger?

Uh, I'll pull it up again.

Yeah.

Can I see a little demonstration?

But, but I think this is all like an accidental mistake.

Like, they made this.

No, I think they, no, no, no, they did make it for that.

I remember.

But the outside could be for either of those either.

When it's in warm water, it's soft and squishy.

But when you put it in cold water.

It's got some grip on the top.

Yeah.

It does, dude.

Hold up.

Yo, see?

Oh.

Yeah.

I knew there's a reason for it.

Yo, fuck.

I need one of these.

All right.

I'm back in.

But they're going to make just every e-mode ever.

Like, they can make it a frowning one and be like,

doesn't it show up doing the dishes?

Turn it upside down.

I mean, that's great.

Yeah.

That's a really great.

Yeah.

But, uh, I think.

Did we watch someone's pot of fruit?

But like, the whole thing is like, he made this.

No one gave a absolute fuck.

And he had like a whole warehouse like 80,000 of these.

And then five years later, people started liking him.

Oh, you're right.

Remember, didn't we watch this shit?

I don't remember.

Um, I'm going to be honest.

I need to scrub that.

Because that looks.

That looked it.

It looks great.

Anyways, sponsor the party, fucks.

So this is the next guy who's going to touch himself?

No, I don't know.

He's probably.

What's worse?

Let me just do this.

All right.

Being a comedian, people always pitching you jokes

or being on Shark Tank and everybody

always pitching you inventions.

Probably Shark Tank.

Yeah.

Because the joke is like, yeah.

Bull frogs.

Am I right?

I thought, am I right?

Yeah.

So, you know, it's a stop light, but it's also a gold light.

And you're like, what, where, where does this?

100 mil.

Like, have you sold any it?

No.

No, it's just an idea.

Um, no, it's got to be really annoying.

Also, you sign up for it though, if you're on fucking Shark Tank.

Also, you know what I don't like?

I don't like when I see people on Shark Tank that I'm like,

what the fuck did you do?

What did you do to be on Shark Tank?

You didn't invent shit.

You own a company.

And you're going to tell a guy who invented that money.

Yeah, I know.

But that's, that's so stupid.

Yeah, but they need the money.

So, they're going to the right people.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm saying the people that are the, the host, I mean, the host telling,

no, no, no, no.

The host telling the people that this is a bad idea.

Bitch, what did you do?

You own the Dallas Mavericks?

Congratulations.

I don't want to hear a talking about it.

I have no idea.

You know what I mean?

It's something, it's something to want to watch like the,

not the voice.

Uh, uh, what's a talent show that fucking.

How's the man dials on?

America's got talent.

Yep.

There we go.

Yeah, is it?

Yeah.

Yeah, AGT.

Who's the hidey, hidey clown?

She's like, ah, I don't like you.

Shut the fuck up.

What does you do?

You walk the catwalk.

You're 5-11.

Congratulations.

You're telling this fucking,

did you tell this guy who's making doves disappear?

That it's not good?

Fuck you.

Yeah.

What the hell?

In porn stars can bring an a specialist for every single signature ever.

Thank you so much, dude.

And why can't AGT bring an a specialist for every talent?

I got it.

We got a magician.

Cool.

David Blaine.

Yes.

We got a, uh, uh, uh, a trapezo artist.

Someone that does that.

I like this.

I like this.

I like this.

But don't tell me that I suck a mic thing.

You don't even know.

How are you telling me that?

Well, that's my whole thing with, uh, uh, whatever the hell is on Netflix right now.

But we love Netflix.

Netflix is great.

Um, what is it?

Star Search?

Star Search?

Is that it?

Star Search?

Yeah.

It's like Jelly Roll.

Bless the man.

But every person that comes up, he goes, listen, I have no idea what's going on with that type

of dancing.

I couldn't do that.

Uh, but four out of five.

You know, like, yeah.

But at least he's saying it.

How did it go?

That's true.

I'm fucking putting down a, I, I don't like, I don't like your jokes.

Oh, interesting.

Interesting.

Let me see your type five.

Interesting.

I mean, it's crazy.

Yeah.

Well, that's crazy.

Tell me.

Specialist for all that.

It's like, I think have on Shark Tank the four sharks.

Yep.

Four or five.

Have the sharks.

And then it's, uh, somebody, uh, an inventor or something over there who can like, um, break

down logic and ask questions to see if they should want to invest.

I will say, I'm going to, I'm going to retract a little bit of what I said about Shark Tank.

Generally they, they do have ideas about the actual products.

Yeah.

But they more so ask like the internal numbers and they go, well, that's not going to work because

XYZ, how many you sell.

So I'll retract a bid on Shark Tank because they do understand business.

But I don't like when they go, I don't like the idea.

How do you know about beef jerky?

I saw someone, one of the woman comes in and it's about like, um, like the, about farmers

like trying to undercut the whole like meat, uh, like big meat or some shit.

I'm serious.

Sorry.

No, but it's like, essentially, but they were like, oh, this is not a good idea, whatever,

whatever.

It's like, how the fuck you know about farming?

You're not a farmer.

Yeah.

You have no idea if this is not a good idea or not.

It just makes me upset.

It's like fucking people, rolling people's dreams.

I like the thing about the, uh, the whole, everyone said, fuck you to ring cam.

And then ring cam was, oh, yeah, watch this bitch.

And now it's $19 billion.

Now every place has that because if you had a camera pre ring camera, you had to get like

a whole ADT system installed.

ADT is pissed.

And you had to, yeah, why haven't they dropped their own?

I think they have.

Ding camera.

Dang.

But like to have to have a security system back in there, I feel like $20,000.

I can just like Amazon some bitch and charge it once a month.

Oh, brand deal for a ring camera.

I mean, we need a brand deal for multiple, like, so like a multitude of brands at this point.

We've mentioned like 600 brands.

Ring dong.

Do you have a, uh, what's it called?

Security system?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh.

What?

Talk to me, Daddy.

That's something you just definitely always say yes to no matter what.

Oh, you're right.

Oh, you're right.

No, nothing.

There's actually no passcode.

And also my iPhone has no, yeah, no passcode.

I leave my door wide open all the time.

I'm on the road at time.

Yeah, my place is heavily strapped.

It's all the shit.

Yeah.

No, I got a, I got a guy up top of the sniper.

It's pretty crazy.

Yeah, we're seeing home alone too.

That's me.

I have a kid inside.

Hold on.

Fuck.

And a squirey party.

Call back.

What were you going to say?

No, but I have cameras everywhere.

Um, but the only reason I brought this up, I don't even know why.

There's this lady in her dog.

She keeps walking the dog like up to my front door step to piss and shit.

Don't like it.

Let me show you a screenshot.

How far this fucking lady goes.

Oh, air drop it.

Yeah.

And listen.

I don't like it.

That's funny.

Because you talked about this a few weeks ago.

I think I found my culprit.

This is when I know that I'm finally growing up.

Is I, I have my first, like, H.O.A. problem.

You know, you know.

I know.

I know exactly.

Some, some bitch.

Oh, I got one too, but I can't go.

Please finish yours.

Um, yeah, I got, I got my first neighborhood beef.

And I, and I get a notification almost every day.

And her dog is too far on my lawn.

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Buddy, I don't know.

I don't know why.

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I get a notification for this multiple time.

Oh, my God.

Oh, multiple times.

Multiple times.

I can't believe this.

It's not on the screen.

Am I going to be furious?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I can't.

I like it, man.

Dude, the same lady.

I've been downstairs in my office.

And she's just like on my lawn with her.

This is unreal.

She.

Yo.

This is.

She's on my lawn.

No, no, no.

This is.

Oh, dude.

I thought you meant like the beginning of it.

No.

The dog is next to the fucking front door.

Like this lady.

Shit.

You can't do this.

She walks like up to where the dog is.

And I'm like, I would.

Even if I was ding dong to somebody's house, I'm not getting that close to the front door.

Like she.

She's on it.

She's on it.

For audio listeners, she is pastor gate.

Like she opened your gate.

I have a gate to my house.

She's past the gate and she's halfway up the driveway.

Dude, this is.

This is way, way, way, way worse than I thought it was.

I thought you were like a.

I thought she was like a little bit.

Listen, I.

And it's crazy because it because the leash is fully extended.

And she's just on the phone.

And she's on the phone.

Yeah.

I'm like, did she have to mention thinks this is her home?

That's crazy.

Did she pick the poop up?

I do.

No, I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know if that's piss or poop, but.

Zoom in.

We got a residential piss expert here.

Enhance.

Enhance.

That will be good.

Enhance dog.

It looked dude.

It looks very much like shit.

I like.

Let me see how many notifications I have from this fucking.

I just.

And when I was.

You got to start yelling at her.

Get off with the other day.

I got a notification.

And then I go on because you speak to that.

Of course.

And I was like, hey, police activated.

Police activated.

But she'd already walked away with that.

Fuck.

But dude, literally every day her dog just has a thing.

For my lawn.

These bitches.

Hold on.

I'm freaking out.

I'm calling the cops.

Save clip.

She there right now.

I don't know.

She's probably sticking out your place.

Yo, maybe.

But like, would you wear fucking red dude?

Okay.

So I just checked to see if I had the file that this one is from.

Yeah.

Look at this clip.

Look at this clip.

I'm so excited.

This lady is just fucking strolling around on my front yard.

I'm so excited.

What sign should I say?

I'm going to get a sign.

You should say, uh, yield.

Is this the same day?

Same dress.

Yeah.

Wait.

No dog.

Does she just show dog?

Does she work for Amazon?

Deep cut.

No dog.

No dog.

What is she?

Hold on.

No dog.

Okay.

This is.

This is crazy.

This is insane.

This is not.

I mean, this is like not even like.

Get off my lawn type of behavior.

This is like for real.

Get the fuck off my property.

What are you doing?

Okay.

So this.

Okay.

This.

This was.

Dude, I think this is literally a different day.

What do I.

What do I say to this lady next time I see her?

Hey, do me a favor.

Like, maybe your dog likes to pee here.

But this is not a dog park.

So please stop having your dog come here.

But like, full on Trump and around.

This doesn't make any sense.

And she's in heels walking her dog.

Dude, that.

Do you know how deep she is on your property?

Because she comes from out of frame into frame.

This doesn't make any sense.

Yeah, I mean, you got it.

Like, I thought this was going to be fun podcast content to talk about.

And it is.

But I thought it was going to be like.

No, no.

What I'm saying is I thought it was going to be like.

Oh, it's like a little bit.

Oh, come on.

This is fucked.

This is not all a little bit.

This is fucked.

Gone.

Literally.

Like, that's so far on someone's property.

It's crazy.

Yeah, I mean, you're, you're linked.

Because dude, if you didn't have a dog, I could shoot you.

Yeah.

Hold on.

I still caught you.

You could.

Does California have a stain on your ground?

Or is that only Florida?

Definitely not California.

Okay.

So I think I might print a sign for this specific.

It says like, please take your dog off my lawn.

Dog, dog.

I have a gun.

Wow.

So Michael, if that is true, then if she twisted her ankle here,

she could sue Trevor.

Yes.

Bro, she's doing it again.

And this bitch is not okay.

Is she in red again?

No.

Yeah, she's in red again.

You have to leave her alone.

And I could get it like a little bit on board if it's like,

if you're walking on the street and it's like to the,

it's like a, like, you know, a foot into the yard.

Okay, fine.

It's fine.

But dude, this is, I mean, she's, she could like watch Netflix

on your fucking TV.

Oh, she can watch me jerk off.

Bro, this is also like.

This is more okay than probably.

Different dress.

Where she came out from was so funny.

Dude, her dog just like is taking laps.

Like, like imagine driving up and seeing that.

Oh my God.

If I drive up and see that,

well, there's another one where,

there's another one where she's like scooping the poop.

This is too, that's too much.

Because you know, it's also interesting.

There's not like a apartment there.

And I get it if his apartment is because the dog couldn't like,

piss.

There's no grass.

But it's like, I'm telling you, this is five feet from my door.

Imagine I just walk outside one morning and see her.

This is absolutely, dude, this is so deep in your yard.

But this isn't even like an area that she probably has a lot.

If she lives in this area, she has a lot.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

For the listeners, it's above the driveway.

Above the driveway.

Yeah.

Which is just insane.

Dude, what I'm talking about.

It's like, it's like, like, it's one thing if you're just walking

and then your dog like pops to the first patch of grass.

Yeah.

Sure.

This is your backyard.

She's essentially going in your backyard.

I mean, all jokes is how you, maybe not in California,

but you, you literally can shoot this woman in Florida,

and then you'd be fine.

And if you're like dinged on ditching,

because I was trying to think as a kid,

like, I'd be on people's lawns all the time.

I'd like ride my bike across it or something.

But that's acceptable.

Yeah.

That takes two seconds.

Yeah.

This is like dinged on ditch and run.

She's like taking her leisure time.

And again, I don't, well, I'm glad you're on board

because you have a dog.

Yeah.

So I don't want to be a rational.

I'm like, yeah, dude, it's a dog.

Where's it going to go on the middle street?

No, this is ridiculous.

I'm good.

I'm putting fucking fentanyl in my lawn.

I'm putting magnetic electric strips in there.

You should put on your metaglasses and go confront her.

I'm just such not a confrontational person.

I know how I'd want to say to my head.

And then I'd be like, hey, would you mind?

Like, this is a little weird.

I would be like, yo, can you stop fucking coming on my lawn?

I have all the videos.

This is weird.

This is so weird.

This is really bizarre.

Yeah.

I would just literally just repeat what I said.

Hey, do me a favor.

Your dog pees and poops on my lawn all the time.

This is not a dog park.

It's starting to smell.

Can you do me a favor and stop doing this?

What did you say?

If you say this is not a dog park and it's starting to smell,

boom.

It's also, get the fuck out of my body.

I can't wait to see Amazon Assign.

Don't trust pass.

Yeah.

There you go.

Yeah.

If someone, I live in California.

If someone is walking their dog really, really close to my front door of my house,

like literally on my lawn, she is breaking a crime, right?

Breaking a crime.

I mean, doing a crime.

Sorry.

I have an MCT oil in me.

Let's see what Chad, as I said.

First of all, breaking a crime is incredible.

What the fuck up, idiot?

I hate what Chad talks like no person.

You fucking fuck making fun of me.

First of all, breaking a crime is incredible.

MCT oil, brain is undefeated.

I'll kill you.

I hate that.

Now, real answer.

Fucking idiot.

If someone steps into your lawn without permission, that's technically trust pressing.

In California, trust pressing generally means answering someone's property without consent.

However, if it's an open, unfenced yard, police usually treat quick, wonk, walk-ons as minor.

If it becomes more serious, if they refuse to leave, have to be an ass, repeatedly entering.

So, after being warned or go beyond the front yard towards doors and windows.

Damn.

She's been warned.

I hope you listen to stiff socks podcast.

That's wild, man.

Oh, what's this?

Oh, what's this?

It's motion-sensored sprinklers.

Ooh.

Yeah, but then it's going to get me.

I'm going to lose my fuck.

See, like, even this woman, she is outside of the fence.

This is where we thought you were talking about, but she's inside of that.

This is fine.

Yeah.

This is fine.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

For someone to put an automatic sprinkler there, because they don't want people to finish, that you're in the same person.

I was in awe when I turned on the ring camera.

That's crazy.

That's crazy.

That's crazy.

I mean, dude, she knows what you're cooking.

Like, she can smell it from where she is.

Oh, yeah.

She can tell me if I have sun cancer or not.

She's fucking close.

She's insane.

Damn.

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I'm buying a burrata.

No, you have shit.

This is big beef.

This is big beef.

Big beef.

I don't like it.

You said you had one.

Oh, I mean, this is not even close to as bad as this one.

We have two at my Barbara Complex.

We have two guest spots.

And we have, where you plug in your cars?

Where the fuck that's called?

Four places to plug in your car.

But those also moonlight as guest spots.

Okay.

Two.

What if a guest got a Tesla?

Well, it's perfect.

Little repaired.

So, those are all taken up.

And then, actually, I put it on my fucking story.

But there's this massive truck.

Like, think like F-250 with jacked up wheels.

Massive.

It's sideways parked.

What the hell?

In the front of the garage.

Like to the right of the spots.

And there are two handicapped spots.

And we have two handicapped people that live in the building.

They're fucking awesome.

Both of them had like strokes or coolest shit,

even through all the pain.

So, I know that they parked there.

So, this fucking F-250 with jack tires.

Park sideways.

Both spots are taken.

And then right there is the elevated to go up from the lobby.

Oh, go up.

Sorry.

Go up to, you know, the lobby or whatever.

And I'm like, usually, I don't care about any of this shit.

But in my head, I'm like, you're affecting people that live here?

I know you don't live here.

You're affecting the people that live here.

And their ability to park, you get close to the elevator.

And I know they need that, right?

So, I see it.

And I'm like, what in the fuck is this?

So, I get, I'm fine.

Then it happens again.

And then maybe one day reprieve.

And again.

So, this happened in like a four-day period.

This motherfucker is there three different times.

And park sideways.

The park sideways thing is like, what the fuck are you doing?

What are you doing?

It makes me so mad and your truck is so fucking obnoxious.

So, I call, this is the first time I've ever done this.

I call my fucking the building manager.

Yeah.

And I felt so...

He's like, bro, that's my truck.

I felt so white lady to barbecue.

But I was like, hey, listen.

But you're looking out for somebody.

Yes, yes.

But I felt, but I didn't.

I was like, hey, man, I don't know what this person is.

But they can't park there.

Please, like, you know, reprimand them with a ticket

or whatever the fuck you have to do.

But it's unfair to the two people that need those spots.

Anyways, but that's sort of like the end of that piece of it.

So, I felt very white lady to barbecue there.

And then, the person that lives below me,

we both have balconies.

The person that lives below me just moved in.

This person is a big smoker.

Big smoker.

Every fucking morning, chain smoking, whatever.

Chain, chain, chain.

Wheat or cigarette?

Cigarettes.

Mmm.

So, ride, go outside.

Excuse me.

Are they Russian?

I don't know.

I don't know who they are.

Never met them.

Yeah, look over.

Hey!

Dude, because I'm...

That's your meditation zone.

That's what I'm talking about, Daddy.

So, if you had a dog eating smoked cigarettes,

you're on both our shit list.

Bitch!

So, every time I want to go out there to meditate,

I'm in a nice morning.

A nice morning.

Thank you.

You get in second hand.

Stroke.

Most?

No, it's stroked inside.

So, I'm like, I'm furious.

It's fucking up my cheek, bro.

It smells like cigarettes.

I'm ketosis.

Yes!

I'm trying to be in fucking ketosis.

I'm trying to meditate.

Let me listen to Sam Harris.

Bitch!

And I know it's a woman.

So, because I look down.

I peek down.

I think I ain't peek down.

But I'm not trying to be a...

I'm not...

I'm trying to be a good neighbor.

It's like, dude.

What is the policy on that?

You can't.

You can't.

I can't.

You can't smoke cigarettes there?

No.

No, you can smoke cigarettes like in the front of the building.

You can't smoke off your balcony because it does this to people.

They live above you and below you.

Oh.

In my head,

I just...

You would think they were building outside.

No, but I don't think a balcony is technically outside.

In West Hollywood.

I know that for, like, West Hollywood.

So,

this happened about...

Two weeks straight.

And the whole time, Michael, don't be a fucking idiot, man.

Don't be an asshole.

Just let it go.

It's time to find it.

Just throw a can of zins down there.

Man.

So, after, like, two weeks of this...

Call my business manager.

I call the building manager again.

And I'm like...

He's like, who's that?

He's my girlfriend going...

Am I a ketosis?

Why am I keep calling this guy?

Being a white lady and fucking barbecue.

Call him again.

Hey, man.

Sorry.

It's me.

It's me again, dude.

They're complaining fucking clown.

And I was like, I don't know what we got to do,

pero esta gente está dando mis molestos,

ее ha cambiado, se hace realmente,

se hace los sentos,

y me gusta repasar mi nariz,

y lo sé, me gusta repasar mi nariz,

como mi nariz de las balconias.

Entonces, todo el mundo,

el mundo de mi casa,

eso es una nariz,

y él dice,

yo me contigo,

yo te quiero hablar a vos,

y los unos días estoy jugando.

Pero eso es como,

cero de ti,

bueno,

espero que te pide.

¿En realidad,

¿Landlord confirmed that it is illegal to smoke off your balcony?

I didn't say it illegal, but I just said what was happening

and then he goes all talked about it.

Because in my head, if I was her, I would assume that I'm doing no wrong

by smoking off my balcony.

This is where I'm at, and this is where I battle for two weeks.

I go, it's not like I want everyone to be comfortable at their house.

They're paying rent, just do whatever you want,

just don't affect me, the problem is you are affecting me.

If you did it like once a week, twice a week,

it's like, all right, Michael, it's not being a bitch.

Like, dude, I smoked cigars off my balcony, but I do it once a week.

You know what I mean?

So it's like, if you're doing it every single day...

It's so funny.

Consistently.

You're just smokin' cigars off my balcony.

Yeah.

Hey.

What are you bugging at? I saw nine cigars.

I'm not even inhaling though.

Come on.

It's different.

Yeah, anything about that.

You're like, just not the morning, honestly.

Honestly, but no, but even then, I just...

The consistency of it is the thing that killed the consistency.

Because if you're a cigarette smoker, you smoke every single day,

and you smoke in the morning, the afternoon or night,

you just constantly smoke.

I didn't think about the fact that you were smoking cigars.

I know, dude.

That's why it took me two weeks, even saying things, I'm like...

You're smokin' a cigar.

This bitch below me, though.

I don't smoke in the mornings.

Damn.

I know she's older or...

I think she might be older, like 55.

Like, she's not 20.

You know, she's not...

And the only reason I know this guy, like, look down sometimes when she's...

when she's smokin'

and I just saw her, like, hand and wrist.

And I'm, like, inferring from that.

So I don't really know how it's used.

And her fucking fat, fucking dog barks all the time.

Gigi.

Not Gigi, no bark.

Did the guy above you ever calm down?

He moved.

Hipopotamus?

That motherfucker moved.

It's my life's different.

Go on.

No more hippie.

Zero hippie.

I got no hippie.

Zero.

So interesting that, like, when one problem leaves, another one starts.

You're right.

Like, life, baby.

Like, life.

How do I manage it?

I don't know.

I call my bill.

Dude, this guy's...

He's the nicest guy ever.

He's gonna start fuckin' raising my rent.

Like, bitch, stop calling me.

Yeah, yeah.

Stop calling with, like, good news every once in a while.

Hey, man.

Just saying I love the place.

Great bill.

You know what he does all the time?

He's super nice, but he does get annoyed

because his texts are, like, kind of bitchy annoying.

Like, you know, we're on the roll of time.

So my package is sometimes billed up, whatever.

And he'll go...

He'll take a picture of the packages.

He moved from the lobby up to my...

He was like, got your packages again.

The again is what kills me.

Yeah.

Oh, you're busy?

Super busy?

What are you doing?

Bring my fuckin' mess.

It's just...

Yeah.

Just life, dude.

That's life.

It's okay.

You get busy and you freaked out.

It's okay.

If I wasn't so busy, I would be at home

and I would be like, hey, you know your dog's kind of being a boo.

It's kind of weird.

They get a little close.

So I'm a germafob.

I'd make some shit up.

But now, with all those anger and stress that I have

when I'm home, and she's there, I'm gonna be like,

you got a fuckin' stop, lady.

I'm calling Peter.

I'm calling Peter.

I'm calling Reno911.

I'm calling this assam.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm calling Asim and Jura Bitch.

Get that shit out of here.

Hey, I'm calling Michael Vic.

Fuck.

I'm just gonna get a sign of Michael Vic going like this.

Why?

And it says, no dogs.

What?

I mean, dude.

Like a full fat head.

Any more jumpsuit?

No dogs allowed?

Oh, my God.

Damn.

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As I always say, on this podcast with a big proposed therapy,

I will be lost without it, dude.

If therapy gives you the skills that you need to be a better adult, a better husband,

a better frickin' mother, wife, all of it, just a better person.

Okay.

And therapy helps me every single moment of my life.

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Someone cut me, and I didn't care.

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Because I did therapy.

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Amen.

Goddamn.

Isn't that funny though?

That's the problems.

Ten years ago, I was like, man, then what a problem I got is not getting hose.

Yeah.

Now I'm like, somebody raked this shit up.

Yeah.

Dude, I'm telling you, we're complaining about this, and there's people somewhere else

that complain they haven't had a clean glass of water in seven years.

You know what I mean?

It's all relative.

All right.

It's all relative.

Welcome to the perspective pod.

It's all relative.

Yeah.

You know, part of me is like, this is a very minute problem in the world.

But listen, you give me a fucking shirts podcast SM7B500.

I'm yelling about it.

Oh yeah.

I'm yelling about it.

I'm yelling about it.

It's funny.

Because now I have stakes.

Yeah, stakes.

I got a heat arrival rate.

Cheeto.

Stakes.

Yeah.

Dude, I don't know, man.

I've been a fucking therapy and probably six to seven months.

Plug me up.

You know?

Do BetterHelp.

Do BetterHelp.

My point is working on leopards.

You know what I'm saying?

You gotta yell sometimes.

You gotta yell.

You gotta get it out.

I think you guys would enjoy this.

What's this?

The Atlanta Hawks are having a Magic City Monday during their game.

Not at Magic City, right?

No.

During the actual game.

They're having a theme night.

Oh my God.

The event includes Atlanta's iconic cultural institution.

In fact, they're calling it that.

I mean, a cultural institution.

You mean, talking on a dirty HPV poll?

What?

What?

I'm so mad.

You didn't go with us that night.

Dude, I...

Can't you be right?

I was not there.

And I was buttoned down my girl.

Oh, yeah.

What the fuck?

I remember that.

It's going to have a live pregame recording of the Hawks AF podcast.

Featuring Magic City founder.

Michael, Mr. Magic Barney.

I need to see what he looks like.

Yeah.

Let's see.

Did he run out of clubs?

He looks like Cat Williams.

What?

Did they run out of clubs in ATL to do?

Because they're always trying to do, like, some theme, some night.

Like, I went to a Rams game one day.

I was like, hello, Kitty night.

But in Atlanta, is that...

Did they run out?

I mean, I love it.

I would go there.

But they don't want to do a waffle house night.

What?

Ludicrous night?

Nothing.

Future.

There's so many.

Future night.

And Magic City Monday night.

Essentially.

I'll tell you one thing now.

Oh, yeah.

Did you do it to the left?

Yeah.

Right.

This guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that guy.

Damn, when he walks up in there, holy shit.

So they're going to have halftime performances with TI.

I don't make sense.

DJ Esco, who is Future's DJ.

Wow.

And the Magic City kitchen will be serving their famous lemon pepper wings.

Did you have those wings?

I did, yeah.

Incredible.

It's so good.

Tania's wings you'll ever see.

But they are phenomenal.

Tania.

Oh, that's awesome.

I will.

Oh, he got torqued on on the third quarter.

I will say though.

I will say that jacket is incredible.

The Magic City jacket they have.

That.

That's fucking unbelievable.

So wait.

So it's more known for its wings than its actual strip club.

It's like both.

But it's got a hand in hand.

I mean, the wings are so popular that you can get them on postmates.

You can send a postmates driver to a strip club for your food.

How happy are you when you get that call?

What other day are you seeing like actual ariolas on your food delivery?

Hooters is a good delivery one.

I mean, but who is it?

You're all picking up for.

Damn.

But who does this like the training wheels of Magic City pickups?

Right.

It's a gateway drug to stripping.

Yeah.

I will say though, you know those door dashes are always going to be late.

You're like, why does she think two and a half hours?

Why is the bag slippery?

Did you see after the USA hockey team won the.

Olympic gold.

They went to 11 in Miami.

Right.

And they had all the strippers.

Like, they were singing.

They were singing the stars.

Oh, they're there.

Okay.

Why don't everybody wear clothes for this video, but play it again.

There's some aerial was out there.

The strippers like, how do I torque to the ship?

No, 808.

That is pretty awesome.

That is crazy.

Where is the dumb question?

Where was the Olympics?

Milan.

So they flew to fucking Miami.

Yeah.

If you knew 11 night club was waiting for you at the end, you get on that flight too.

Dude, that's crazy.

Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

Good for them.

And that's talking strip clubs.

I mean, that's.

New podcast.

Present my bar.

Talking strip club.

Who are you right now?

Those strip clubs in the world.

I'm gonna say I'll never forget the strip club in Tampa.

This is.

I don't know if I talk about on here.

It's called like Penn House.

It's half steakhouse, half strip club.

I think you did.

Yeah, I think you have.

Yeah.

That place was like.

It's literally like if Andrew Tade had a Fortnite map.

The ship was like eating steaks with the stripper taking your order.

How do you understand?

You're like, maybe raw.

I don't know.

Shit.

Throwing dollar bills from the table.

God, that was crazy.

Anyways, welcome back to talking.

Talking tits.

Wait, did you see this university, Iowa?

The kids got busted for hazing.

I did sort of.

Can we see it?

Only saw clips.

I don't know.

You're just walking the door.

So we can't see you live here.

I don't live here.

It's such a fried guy answer.

Look at him on the line with the.

With sipping a fauna.

I don't know.

You got University of Iowa?

Yeah.

What do you do?

What's your major?

What's your name?

What's your name?

What?

What's your name?

What's your name?

What was that?

What was that?

What was that?

What was that?

What was that?

What was that?

What was that?

What was that?

What was that?

What was that?

What was that?

What?

Who I'm talking to?

I told you that.

I told you that.

How old are you?

It's twenty-one.

What's your name?

You got idea or anything?

It's proof.

You're like a jabbo?

Like I had it, too.

Cause he knows we're doing some wrong for sure, probably.

You finished his interview.

And what you see what's behind him?

It's very funny.

Why he's blocking that door.

ese, su picking, su taking, su picking.

su picking, su picking.

su picking descargado.

De este guy piensa que es el el mar de la mano.

su picking, su picking.

su picking es una, tu.

2 de man, 2 de man.

Thanks, sir.

Can you have a one, 42, one by deal.

Y a ver si estoy en el fratio, yo estoy haciendo lo mismo.

No lo sé.

No lo sé.

No lo sé.

Sí, por favor.

En el fratio, he probablemente es en el mundo.

Así que es bueno.

Así que es bueno.

Así que es bueno.

¡Pues de la plaza!

¡Los ríos son!

¡Los ríos son!

¡Los ríos son!

¡Los ríos son!

¡Los ríos son!

¿Tú lo sabes?

¡Los ríos son!

¡Los ríos son!

¿Qué haces?

¿Pero tú es por eso?

¿Eso es un momento que estoy έχει de ser?

Yo creo que lo he hecho.

Si es que lo he hecho, la gente es muy cruel, ¿cómo te parece?

Así que una cosa, no sé, él no puede ir a la escuela.

¿Qué es eso?

¿Qué se está haciendo?

¿Qué hayas hecho?

¡Muy bien, esto no es, espéxico!

¿Dios que es para aquí?

¿Dios que es para aquí?

¡Tienes que estar atrasos!

¿Dios que es para aquí?

¿Dios que es para aquí?

Yo soy tu casa, ok

¿O lo estoy desbado? ¿Dios que es para aquí?

¿Dude, ¿y que hace un baño y saca su suelta?

Esta es la cosa.

¡Rept!

¡Pero cómo va...

Es como, no, son chicas o qué?

¿Vas a chicas?

Si, me voy a chicas.

¿Ya es una bomba?

¿Y qué?

Frados siempre piden el color del color dumb.

Es todo el color de blanco.

Blanc.

¡Dude, ¡bueja!

Esto ha de haber estado en la iniciativa.

¿Como haces? ¿O qué? ¿Y qué?

De acuerdo, por mí, no fue de nada fácil, pero si calzó la mancha,

tu disgamento es muy bien, cómo lo hace?

No sé, empezar aquí, como...

¿Cómo?

¿Cómo es la gente que está en México?

¿No está en Society?

Esta en México lo hace.

Esquivel esto no es, estamos en esta casa.

¿Cuánto duro es importante?

Tras que no es el gran gran, la gente en Italia lo hace muy bien.

Ten siempre, para elefarlas y para eso también.

yo, yo necesito 6 miligramas

trying to get a bit there

this is the worst magic city server

how stoked you if you're one of those pleasures like thank god

i'm crazy

someone turn the fucking lights

fucking right there

yeah i wanna keep correcting the body camera footage

little left little left

come over here

i'm gonna send it and you're gonna send me buddy over here

oh my god

why are they all staying so still

i shouldn't be like yo hello

like the mannequin challenge

they're making this look even more sus

i know

they can fly ball

what's top

you're having heated robbery night

why is that guy still in the fucking way

are you responsible for the house?

no

who's the house dad?

how's dad?

he's a fucking zombie

this guy

yeah

because it sounds like you're responsible for the house

it sounds like you have something

something that someone's going on

how about you ask the fucking house to end

you need the 30 years to try to get hold of

okay go call

this guy is so mad

something like a 21 year old

with a 40 tries of price to use

i know where's this guy for the lady

with the shit on my lawn

yeah they as you fucking doc

what's your house

i live here all like hey you guys have ideas

and instead of being like yeah what the fuck's going on here

no one asked me what i know

and some random skinny kid in the wall

be like you come over here do you need water

oh my god

it sounds like the worst haunted house i've ever seen in my life

what is this

there's still no one's moving

it's still

it's a frat

they're gonna hate dumbass

what the fuck did i just walk into

celebrate

celebration or what

i'm the top

i'm taking that guy in handcuffs

and i'm putting him in the corner

how have they put like a bald guy in his mouth

there's something i don't know

and he's in every room with them

i'm gonna ask them questions

about what?

about what?

the freak off going off in the basement

i have to investigate something that's going on

with that

it immediately doesn't even know how bald work

up on the top of stairs

thank you

it's grabbing property

he goes in there guys don't fucking say a word

we die for this frat

you need better audio on his body

i mean yeah god get her fucking road mic or something

get something dude

i want 27 can i get you back down here

what's on your neck

come

this fucking guy

this fucking dude if i'm the cop

i'm taking the guy immediately

to addy here

that's what i'm asking

what taste it? no

you're low kid it's kind of the bad ass dude

honestly that i can't wait for a movie

to be made after him

get the wrong guy

i'm gonna be honest not one of these guys have a good bod

not one of them

i will

i will fart boys i can't get no chest

nothing

they all have like 21% body fat

don't fucking push up

someone turn the fucking lights on

the cop not one time

was like can we turn the lights on guys

why can we turn the lights on

you guys are hazing what type of hazing

i mean of course like baffled

okay so how sad is here

how sad is here

let me see this guy

the house that comes out of some bigger version of this guy

the fuck do you guys want

yeah yeah

you got your two IDs

go check them

okay cool

cool

okay

whoa

i got your info

you got enough

you got fucking nothing

this guy is trying to be so hard on all these dudes

he's going to get more

i wouldn't

i would

celebration

good wealth

bro the frat mindset is so funny

crazy when you're in it

but like i get this guy's standpoint

when you're in it

but with 21 and a cop

actually not

i get it if you're talking like campus police but like actual police

is it's a different thing

in the beginning of the video it says this guy is in jail right

it said he got arrested

but all the charges were dropped

wow that's didn't ever come out

what type of hazing they were doing

dude that guy was a

it's just weird because it happened

a long time ago didn't like two years ago

yeah it's just so funny

that when she's been hoping these

has gone viral oh that's funny

please release it

who is he?

he's like emcee files no release i will file

he says it is unclear if

gaya their joseph is a

student at university of life

still unclear

god i would love to like call somebody at university i wouldn't be like

is 85 and a good frat like

i mean i don't want to know

i'm gonna be honest based on those

buds it's not a good frat

it's like a mormon frat or some weird

it was funny because he was talking

in terms of like he was a founding

father correct what's going on here

he's like life liberty in the pursuit of happiness

all things 85

like when you're in it you don't know a world outside of that

so i totally get

what is crazy to me

is the cops immediately didn't just

arrest him

i'm a cop

shut up sit down

right because if he's gonna keep interfering

one of these shirtless

boys will

or 57 guys

oiled up

57 dudes

i don't know that's what i would say

somebody has to have like

one of those guys had to drop the frat

i know

the frat got suspended you'd think somebody would have

talked about it

you know

there's just been until

2029 that's hilarious that there's not

forever kicked off

let's just go 2029 back to Iowa

what's good

yo we also haisin

is that him

he looks

is he on instagram

what were you on that night

what gave you that much confidence

he was talking like Matthew McConaughey was writing a script form

the only person

getting ants out of me is me and the lord

there he is

is that him

dude go to that first pic

look at his body

yeah no shit buddy

could i get

this one yeah

i mean that tracks