374. Is It Love or Limerence? How to Tell the Difference

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You know that feeling.

You're going about your day and I don't know where that person is in your head again.

You replay a conversation from three weeks ago.

You check your phone, even though you know you didn't hear a buzz.

You catch yourself spinning out a whole imaginary future.

And then when they actually do text, the rush is so intense, it's almost physical.

But when they go quiet or when you can't tell how they feel about you,

the whole thing somehow gets even more intense.

Most people call that falling in love.

But what if it's not?

Today, we're talking about limmerance.

What it actually is, how it's different from love.

How to know if you're in it and what to do if you are.

Whether you're single, single partnered or in a relationship

and suddenly consumed by someone who isn't your partner,

this episode will give you the language and the clarity you've been missing.

So stay tuned.

Welcome to the Relationships Made Easy Podcast

where I give you the exact steps to create connection, joy and ease and all your relationships.

Whether it's with your partner, your family, your friends, or most importantly, yourself.

I'm Dr. Abby Metcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker,

and the bossy Jewish mom you didn't know you needed.

Each week you'll get no nonsense, research back strategies, serve with humor and love,

so you can stop second-guessing yourself and start having the relationships you deserve.

You'll always leave knowing exactly what to say and do to shift your relationships for the better.

So let's get to it.

Welcome back to the podcast, you know who I am.

And this topic got brought up quite a few times in my sub-sac community,

and I've gotten the question on, you know, TikTok and other places.

So, what is Limerence? Limerence, it's not a new concept.

I, you know, things start to trend and all of a sudden we see them everywhere.

Limerence isn't new.

It's just, I think it's been an underused concept.

So there was a psychologist named Dorothy Tenov,

who coined the term after spending a decade,

at least 10 years, interviewing hundreds and hundreds of people

about their experiences of romantic attraction.

And she published her findings in, there was a 1979,

a book called Love and Limerence.

And what she found was that a significant number of people described something far more consuming,

far more destabilizing and far more painful,

than what most people mean when they say they're in love.

And she named that state Limerence.

And Limerence, the way that she defined it,

Tenov just defined it, is an in-voluntary, obsessive,

mental state focused on another person,

what she called the Limerent object or the LO.

Okay, so that's that person that you're so focused on.

And here's the thing that distinguishes it from love.

It's not driven by who the other person actually is.

It's driven by the intoxicating uncertainty

of whether they want you back.

That's the key.

Limerence runs on uncertainty.

The moment you know for sure that someone fully reciprocates

or definitely doesn't, Limerence pretty much dissolves more or less.

And that's, it's not a character flaw or something.

It's not a sign that something is wrong with you,

but understanding it changes really everything

about how you interpret what you're feeling.

So what is Limerence actually feel like?

She, Tenov, identified a consistent set of hallmarks

across really hundreds of interviews.

So, and then there was research later by Wilmot and Bentley,

and they, which confirmed all of Tenov's hypotheses

and all that, and they expanded on them.

And documenting how Limerence plays out

across different peoples lived experiences.

So, and here's what they found.

And for the new people, whenever I say the research says,

or I talk about a past episode or the amazing free download

for today, which is a little quiz to know

if you're being Limerent or not, anything you can find

below the video on YouTube or on my website,

abymetcaf.com, go to this episode.

So I always back up whenever I say research says,

I back it up with the actual studies,

and you can find those all.

If you want to go down the rabbit holes

that I go down all the time,

I love looking at research, which people,

if you've been with me a while, you know,

I love the research.

I just, it's just fascinates me.

I love reading all about it.

Anyway, so what, here's what they found.

Intrusive, involuntary thinking about the person,

not just thinking about them,

but generally being unable to stop.

This again, Wilmot and Bentley found

that participants described the thoughts

as almost continuous.

They had one person writing that it feels

as if it's 100% of your emotions are riveted

to the, the L.O., the Limerent object at all times.

So it's pretty, it's pretty major.

Another thing they found is intense longing

for reciprocation.

More than wanting them to like you,

you need to know how they feel about you.

The uncertainty is unbearable, it's addictive,

it's not good.

The third thing they found is idealization,

which means that you notice everything wonderful

about them and minimize or explain away anything

that isn't, they become in your mind essentially perfect.

That's one of the real signs of Limerence

that I see a lot because I'm seeing red flags

and the other person is not.

And so anyway, another thing they found

is emotional highs and lows based entirely,

entirely on the other person's behavior.

You know, you get a warm text from them

and you are soaring and a delayed reply

or a cooler than usual interaction,

send you off the deep end, ruined your whole day.

Another symptom or physical symptoms,

when you're around them or even just thinking about them,

as you might find a racing heart,

some shakiness, difficulty concentrating,

what if tenors experiments, people had like reported things

like flush skin, you know, getting a flush,

sweaty palms, that kind of thing, kind of crazy, right?

Another symptom is fantasy,

mentally rehearsing conversations,

imagining future scenarios,

playing out what it'd be like if they finally chose you,

that kind of thing.

Another symptom which I've kind of referred to,

but I'll say it again, is acute sensitivity

to signs that they're reciprocating,

to what, so you're over analyzing everything they say

or do for evidence that they feel the same way,

or that they don't feel the same way.

And Wilmot Bentley also found consistent links

between lemurance and anxiety and depression

and what they described in their research

is like free floating emotional distress

that becomes temporarily fixated on the L.O.

on the Limeron object, on the other person.

So in a lot of ways,

lemurance is anxiety wearing a romantic outfit

or costume really.

Yeah.

And in 2024, there was like a major kind of a scoping review

published in, of all things, the journal of police

and what's that called?

It's like the journal of police and criminal psychology.

I'll get it right on the website or below the video,

but it was a huge study and they found

that lemurance shares cognitive features

with obsessive, compulsive disorder,

including intrusive, repetitive thinking,

compulsive behaviors, like all kinds of stuff.

So it now doesn't mean you have OCD.

It means what I'm saying is that the brain

and what that research shows is that the brain mechanisms

that drive obsessive states

and the ones that drive lemurance have it

way too much in common, that's really it.

Okay, so is lemurance the same as love?

No, no, it's not.

And this is the distinction that matters most.

Lemurance is about the ache for reciprocation

and love is about the other person.

Gonna say it again, lemurance is just all about

they've got to reciprocate, I have to see

and know that they feel the same way I do.

Love, that's that anxiety is all,

it's really about the other person.

It's a very different feeling.

When you love someone, you care about their actual,

their well-being, their growth, their happiness,

even when it doesn't directly affect you.

You can see them clearly,

including their flaws, their ugly parts, their warts,

and you love them any way.

There's comfort, there's steadiness,

there's genuine warmth and how you relate.

Lemurance at its core is really self-focused.

You're focused on yourself, not a selfish way,

but in a neurochemical way.

The lemurant experience is primarily

about your own internal state.

Do they want me?

Will they choose me?

Did I say something wrong?

What did that silence mean?

The other person becomes really less of a real human

and more of a symbol for whether you're wanted,

whether you're worthy, safe, all that stuff.

And I will tell you, when Tenof got blessed,

Dorothy Tenof, what a badass.

When she wrote about this, she was really direct.

She was very clear.

She says, in lemurance, the lemurant objects,

actual qualities matter far less than the interpretation

of the signals that you're getting.

So you're not falling for who they are.

You're falling for your own brain's narrative

about what their behavior means.

Are you picking up when I'm laying down?

Are you picking up with Dr. Abby's laying down?

So if you want to do a quick gut check,

I would say you would think about the other person

you're so consumed by.

And when you imagine your future with them,

what are you actually imagining?

Are you imagining a real relationship

with conflict and compromise and ordinary Tuesdays?

Or are you mainly imagining the moment they finally choose you?

You know, it's like you're imagining

that you're thinking obsessively

about the resolution of the longing itself,

like when they declare their love.

If it's mostly that, that's a lemurance flag.

I need to tell you, okay.

So why does lemurance, no, how do I wanna say this?

So why does uncertainty fuel lemurance so powerfully?

That's what I'm gonna call this section.

Why does uncertainty fuel lemurance

so powerfully?

And this is where the neural science gets,

I think of course fascinating,

because you know I love this crap.

So Helen Fisher, you know my girl crush,

Helen Fisher, she's a biological anthropologist.

If you haven't watched her TED Talks yet or talk

or whatever, she's amazing.

Anyway, I'm love and longing and knowing,

she's incredible.

So Helen Fisher and Arthur Aaron,

they did a lot of MRI,

it's actually functional MRIs, FMRIs,

a lot of research,

and they found that intense romantic attraction

activates the brain's dopagemetic,

topenergic reward pathways.

And specifically the VTA,

which is the ventral tegmental area,

and what's called the Codate Nucleus,

which are the same regions associated with motivation,

craving, goal-directed behavior.

So romantic attraction, it's not just an emotion,

it's a drive state.

And like all drive states,

it's powerfully, powerfully shaped by intermittent reward,

meaning a reward that you get sometimes,

not all the time, like a slot machine.

Your brain's dopamine system is wired to respond

most intensely, not to guarantee rewards, okay?

But to unpredictable ones,

this research goes way back.

So when you don't know,

if pulling the lever on the slot machine will pay out,

dopamine actually fires more intensely than it would,

if you got to reward every single time,

I know that sounds crazy, but it's the truth.

That's the neurochemical engine,

again, of the slot machine,

and it's the same engine running lemurance.

When someone's interest in you is warm, sometimes,

and cooler at other times,

well, you know, you can't quite read them

when there are signals, but no certainty.

Your brain treats that ambiguity as a puzzle

that needs to be solved,

and dopamine floods in every time you think

you found a little clue.

That's why you're searching everywhere,

and you're talking to me obsessively,

like Abby, they said this, and then she said this,

and then she said this, and then they did this,

and then yesterday I said this, but then they said this.

Yeah.

Now, there's also a serotonin piece here.

Oh, this one, I always call it a Maserati,

and it's not Marziti.

Donatella Marziti, how fabulous is that name?

Come on.

Donatella Marziti, let's have a moment for that.

And her colleagues at the University of Pisa,

of course, you figured it would be somewhere in Italy, right?

Found that people who had recently fallen in love

had serotonin transporter levels

that were significantly lower than controls,

and statistically indistinguishable from people with OCD.

Again, we're getting back to that.

Because low serotonin is associated

with intrusive, ruminative thinking.

So the obsessive quality of limerance

isn't just like all in your head in a dismissive sense.

There's a measurable neurochemical shift happening.

I'm telling you all this, so you truly understand

and don't feel so, don't beat yourself up quite so much

when you're dealing with this because it's so hard.

And this is why limerance often intensifies

when a relationship becomes more available, right?

You'd think certainty would be satisfying, right?

So the relationship is here more, it's more available,

but it's not, but for a nervous system hooked on the chase,

clarity can feel deflating.

I know, it's also why some people find themselves

really intensely kind of limerant

for someone unavailable or uninterested,

and they feel relatively little

for someone warm, attentive,

and generally interested in them, just I know.

I know, sit with that for one minute, is that crazy?

The unavailability of the person itself

is doing a lot of the work.

And again, when you read her stuff,

she's really clear that uncertainty

isn't just a feature of limerance,

it's a requirement of it.

Without that kind of open question of reciprocation,

like do they or don't they?

Limerance either resolves into real love

or fades entirely, you get one or the other.

So can you be limerant inside a committed relationship?

Yes, and this is where things get,

I think things get complicated.

Limerance for your own partner is possible

and early in relationships, I would say it's kind of common.

The uncertainty of early dating, right, creates

perfect limerance conditions, it's like the perfect storm.

And as the relationship becomes more committed

and more stable, limerance will typically

fade and is replaced in healthy relationships

by something quieter, more sustaining,

deep attachment, genuine love.

But some people experience the limerance fading

and they panic and they mistake the loss

of the obsessive-high for falling out of love, right?

So they may begin to feel limerant

towards someone outside the relationship instead

because that person offers the novelty and uncertainty

that their nervous system is craving.

So it doesn't automatically mean

their committed relationship is wrong.

It often means that their nervous system

doesn't know yet how to experience safety as love.

Are you seeing yourself here?

Are you listening to me?

I know.

And I want to remind you, I do a full blog for every episode.

So if this is all really hitting, you know,

go back and read the blog later.

Like take it in differently.

It's not a transcript.

It's an actual blog that I write up.

Anyway, so if you're in a committed relationship

and consumed by limerant feelings for someone else,

it's worth asking yourself really honestly,

you know, am I confused because I found a better match?

Are my addicted to the neural chemical hit

that comes from uncertainty?

And again, this is where self-sabotage often comes in.

You might be sabotaging the relationship,

trying to create something, you know,

making them jealous or trying to make them jealous,

you know, to prove their love or show their love.

It's we do it.

We get really caught up.

And these are really different problems

with different solutions.

I do want to say, and I'll get to that, of course.

So why are some people more vulnerable to limerants

than others?

Because some people are more vulnerable than others.

And the research, I would say pretty consistently,

points to a few factors that plan.

Anxious attachment is the strongest predictor.

I've talked about attachment a lot in the podcast.

I just did a three episode arc.

I will, but you can, I've done other ones too,

just kind of explaining the different attachment styles.

I'll link to those, but Anxious attachment

is the strongest predictor.

If you grew up in an environment where love and attention

were inconsistent, your nervous system

learned to be hyper vigilant for signs of acceptance

or rejection, for either.

The ambiguity of early stage attraction,

that sort of back and forth, or the pull of unavailable partners

replicates that dynamic, that familiar dynamic you know.

So the hunger for reciprocation isn't just romantic longing.

I want you to think of it.

It's like an old, unmet need trying to finally get filled.

I know.

So other researchers, Wakin and Vo, they built on Tenov's

original model.

And some of the stuff they found in their research

was that limerants shares, again, functional,

they also found that limerants shares functional similarities

with obsessive compulsive disorder,

but they also found it and substance use disorder,

meaning like cocaine addiction.

So the forces like longing for reciprocation,

driving forces, obsessive thinking, extreme mood

fluctuations come from that, all that.

I mean, it's like boom, boom, boom.

So when separation from your L.O.,

the limerant object occurs, people often

experience withdrawal like symptoms.

That's what's crazy.

Chester stomach pain, sleep disruption, irritability,

depression, high anxiety, I know.

It's crazy, right?

I mean, really.

And loneliness is another factor.

When people have unmet, I do want to say that.

I'm sorry, I finished that thought,

but loneliness is another factor.

Sorry, things pop in my head and I start talking.

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Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair.

Where delivery and setup are as easy

as a few taps on your phone.

Picture this.

You're relaxing in an old hammock,

scrolling Wayfair's app when you spot it,

a brand new patio set.

Next thing you know, Wayfair delivers it

right to your patio and sets it up.

Oh, you need a new girl too?

All right, Wayfair's got you covered.

With Wayfair's room of choice delivery

and fast expert setup on qualifying orders,

life gets a little easier.

Visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app.

Wayfair every style, every home.

So if you have some sort of unmet social needs

or emotional needs, even a small sign of interest

from another person really can become

sort of dramatically amplified into something

that feels like profound connection when it's not.

So do you want to say that?

Okay.

So those two are the biggies.

Anxious attachment style and if you're lonely, you know.

All right, so how do you know

if what you're feeling is lemurance or real love?

So here are the questions worth sitting with.

Okay, worth engaging with.

Do you love them for who they actually are?

Including quality that are ordinary,

annoying or imperfect?

Or do you mostly love the idealized version

of them in your own mind?

You should also be able to stay.

I talk about trauma bonding,

which can also get kind of caught up in here.

And I can always tell when someone is sort of trauma bonding

because they can't, when I say to them,

what do you love about this person?

What is it?

They can't give me anything really concrete.

They give me things like,

oh, there's just something about them

and oh, we talk all night.

And oh, they're so charismatic

and oh, there's just this thing we have.

It's so special.

If you ask me right now,

what do you love about Gary?

I can give you easily, easily.

He's really thoughtful.

He puts my needs first often.

He's generous, he's kind, he's warm.

He's really funny.

We really laugh well together.

He has my back and all things, right?

I could go on and on and on easily

with a list of very identifiable behaviors, characteristics.

Not there's just something about him, okay?

Yeah.

Another thing I think you can ask yourself

is does your emotional state

depend heavily on their responsiveness

or can you stay grounded

even when there's silence or distance?

That's another thing to look at.

When you imagine a future with them,

is it a real relationship you're picturing

or mainly the feeling of finally being chosen again?

Are you just picturing that

all the time fantasizing about that time they tell you

you're the one for me.

I love you so much.

How long have you actually known them

and how deeply do you know them?

Limorance doesn't require knowing someone well.

We love does.

So another thing you can ask,

if you knew they were completely unavailable

with the intensity dropped significantly,

that's a strong signal that the uncertainty

was doing most of the work just so you know, okay?

Do you feel generally seen and known by them

are mostly just intensely drawn to them?

Is another thing.

Now none of these are, I'm not trying to get you.

Then none of these are gotcha.

They're just, they're tools, you know,

I want you to have some on a self-reflection,

which is the only thing that actually helps here

is on a self-reflection.

So today's free download is a clarity checklist.

I'm calling it MI and Limorance or Live.

It, you know, it's gonna walk you through

the key markers of each state.

So you can see more clearly

what's actually driving your feelings.

Again, you know, you'll find it below the video

on my website under this episode abbymycaf.com.

Okay, and I have an amazing therapy to go bundle for today,

which I'll talk about at the very end.

The download is free, but if you want,

you can also buy something.

I call them therapy to go bundles.

I do them for every episode

and they just help you get much,

if this is a real issue for you

and if this has been a pattern for you,

you might want to get the bundle.

You might need to do kind of some deeper work here

than just like a quick quiz, you know what I mean?

So, but as always, you don't have to buy anything

because I'm gonna tell you some things to do here.

So what do you do if you're in Limorance?

You know, if you're single and Limorant for someone,

I always say slow down the fantasy.

Limorance lives in your head,

not in the actual relationship you have with this person.

So the more you can engage with who they actually are,

so they're real quirks, they're limitations,

they're ordinary humanity.

The harder it is for that sort of idealized projection

to survive, so get real.

And it doesn't mean you won't still find them wonderful, right?

But it brings you back to reality.

You know, I would say also,

consider what the Limorance is pointing to, are you lonely?

You know, in a transitional moment in your life,

are you craving the feeling of being chosen?

The LO, the Limorance object, is often,

that person is often like a screen.

Like you're putting a lot of your unmet needs,

you're projecting a lot of your unmet needs on the screen.

So getting curious about the need underneath

is usually more useful than focusing only on, you know,

the person.

Okay, now if you're in a committed relationship

and limerate for someone else,

obviously don't act on it, please,

that's not the same as pretending the feeling doesn't exist,

though, okay, but don't act on it.

It does exist and suppressing it without examining it

isn't gonna help you, so I'm gonna say that too.

And don't feel guilty and all full of crap, you know,

like that's not helping.

But acting on Limorance,

while you're in a committed relationship,

whether through an affair, by leaving,

is it's really almost always a decision made

from a neurochemical state rather than genuine clarity.

Limorance fades, decisions have consequences.

So try to reduce contact with the,

that person, the limorant object where you can,

because limorance needs fuel and every interaction,

every interaction, every, you know, ambiguous moment,

every unanswered question, it really feeds it.

So limiting contact doesn't,

it doesn't feel a good short term,

but it's one of the few things

that actually works from the research.

Wilma and Bentley, who I talked about before,

they compared it to the way someone in recovery avoids

their substance, right?

You know, like, you know, you don't go into bars

if you're trying not to drink, right?

Total contact avoidance is really the gold standard,

even when it's not fully possible, just do your best.

And then, it also look honestly at your relationship,

sometimes limorance for someone else

is your nervous systems way of flagging something

in your primary relationship that needs attention.

Not necessarily that it's broken,

but that there's emotional distance,

there's a loss of connection,

something unexplored.

The limorance may be, you know, a distraction

from something that deserves your direct attention.

So I want you to think of it that way.

If you're a limorant for someone who's unavailable,

I also want to talk about,

and this one is painful and I don't want to minimize that,

but being deeply consumed by feelings for someone

who can't or won't reciprocate,

I think is its own kind of grief, you know?

And the work here is partly about tolerating

that grief directly rather than continuing

to feed the fantasy as a way of avoiding it, okay?

It also helps to get honest about what unavailability offers you

for some people, limorance for an unavailable person,

it keeps them emotionally occupied

in a way that feels safer than real vulnerability

with someone who could actually hurt you.

So if the people you're most drawn to

are consistently out of reach,

that pattern is really worth exploring, all right?

So what helps limorance resolve, you know?

Ten of identified three main ways limorance ends, okay?

So the first is the LO, the limorant object

makes their disinterest unambiguous

and final, right?

They remove the uncertainty that sustains the whole thing,

okay, so that can happen.

The second thing that can happen is the relationship

becomes mutual, it becomes committed,

comes stable, and limorance gradually shifts

into something hopefully like real love.

And then third is that the limorance transfers to a new person,

I've worked with people where this is the case,

which doesn't resolve the underlying pattern obviously,

it just restarts it, okay?

So again, what doesn't help is feeding the fantasy,

maintaining ambiguous contact,

waiting passively for the feeling to pass, not gonna help.

Okay, what does help is reducing uncertainty

in either direction, I would say the biggie

is building a rich life, you know, building a life,

I guess rich enough that one person doesn't occupy

all your emotional space, you know,

addressing the attachment wounds underneath,

and if the pattern keeps repeating,

I would say, you know, working with a therapist

who understands limorance would be really, really good.

So let me wrap up and then I'll talk about

the therapy to go bundle, limorance is real,

it's not a moral failing, nothing feel guilty about,

it's not proof, it's also not proof

you've found the love of your life,

it's not something to be ashamed of,

it's a neurochemical and psychological state

that millions upon millions of people experience

and that almost nobody has a good name for,

but you know, now you do, right?

I think having a name for it gives you a choice,

you can keep riding the wave of intrusive thoughts

and emotional highs and lows,

or you can start asking the questions

that actually lead somewhere, you know,

what do I really need?

Is this feeling serving me?

What would it mean to want something I could actually have?

Okay, so again, today's free download

is MI in limorance or love?

Again, it's kind of a, it's a short, direct,

it's a clarity checklist, okay?

So, and again, if you're realizing this is a pattern for you,

if you keep falling into the same consuming

destabilizing state and you want real tools

for working through it,

that's the therapy to go bundle for this episode.

So again, the download is free that I mentioned,

but you know, the therapy to go bundle is $10.

So I just, I do want, I do want to say that.

Okay, so what's in the bundle?

I mean, I'm trying to remember right now, sorry.

Okay, so I've got, and I've got a bunch of things

in the bundle.

So there's journaling prompts to uncover

what's underneath the longing.

There's a step-by-step worksheet for working

through a limorant thought spiral.

There's another, is this limorance or love,

but it's more than the free download.

It's a more in-depth worksheet for getting honest

about what you're actually experiencing.

There's also a worksheet, I'm calling it,

what's this really about.

It's basically, it's a worksheet

for helping you identify the unmet need

underneath the limorance.

There's also a breaking the limorant cycle.

It's a personal action plan for really starving the loop

and rebuilding your focus, okay?

So all of that plus the free download, by the way.

So comes in the therapy to go bundle, all of it.

So for $10, which is quite the deal

when you think about how much therapy is.

And if you work with a therapist, it's wonderful also

to download the bundle and do it with your therapist.

If again, this is an ongoing issue

and you haven't quite gotten to what,

you know, what's the problem here?

This is a great way to do it, okay?

That's it for today.

Thank you so much for being with me.

I'm so happy to spend this time.

I really appreciate when you write in with questions

that I can answer.

Sometimes I answer them on my, on TikTok

or one of the social media accounts.

Other times I'll try to answer them here just so you know,

I never ever can give like advice over the internet

that's not gonna happen like direct advice to you.

It's highly unethical.

No one should do that.

But I can certainly give you some things to think about

and some thoughts that I have about the situation

in one of those forums.

Also remember if you email me abbyadabbymechef.com

with a topic or suggestion, just a couple sentences please.

I say with love, there's millions of you who download

this podcast.

I clearly, you know, if I get an email that's a page long,

I can't even read it.

I don't have time, I'm sorry.

So I'm not sorry, it just is.

That's a boundary, you know?

So take that into account.

But I certainly wanna listen to you,

wanna hear from you and that's it.

I hope this was really helpful

and we will talk real soon.

Thank you for spending time with me today.

If you're loving what you're learning here,

come join my one love collective.

It's my private community,

where we take these conversations even deeper.

You'll get a ton of bonus content,

live Q&As with me, guided visualizations,

journaling prompts, scripts,

and an incredible community of like-minded people

ready to support you as you create more ease and joy

in all your relationships.

It's all waiting for you at abbyadabbymechef.com

or right on sub-stack.

I'll see you next week.

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