52 - Who You Become Under Pressure | The Leadership Test No One Can Fake

Welcome to the Impact Podcast. I'm Eddie Wilson, here to help you visualize what others cannot see.

Create opportunities where others have failed and push you to build empires where once there was empty space.

Let's embark on this journey together and make a difference in this world.

Thank you so much for joining us on the Impact Podcast today with Eddie Wilson.

I've got a great episode today and I'm going to take it from the themes of CS Lewis,

one of my favorite authors. He wrote a group of essays called The Abolition of Man.

And I think there's so much meat and truth in these essays. And I want to take one of these essays

where he really talks about the three types of men. And in these three types of men,

I find such amazing content specific to not just faith, which oftentimes CS Lewis' writings

were specific and tied to faith. But it's not just these three types of men don't just exist in

faith, but it's also in marriage, leadership, business, culture. You know, it's like in every area

of our life, you'll find these three components. And it's also not just men, right? It's humans.

It's persons, right? Like it is more than just a male construct. And so what I want you to do is

I want you to hear these three areas. And I want you to self-select or identify where you are in

each one of these areas of your life. And so as an intro, the problem isn't skill. It's always

substance. You know, oftentimes we look at the failures of our life and it really doesn't boil

down to, did we not possess a skill or was there a skill absent? It's typically tied to a substance

that's not present, right? And so we obsess over tactics. We read books on scaling. We learn

systems and frameworks. And I'm a person who loves that. And I've taught that so much on this

podcast as teaching systems and frameworks in order to grow into scale. But it's the foundational

pieces that if they're not, if they're not present, then it doesn't matter how many systems you have.

It doesn't matter how much, you know, how practical attacks are. It doesn't matter how many

books you read on scaling or how much you, how many books you read on, on relationships. If the

substance isn't there, if the substance is missing, then in that missing substance, the tactics are

just a, are just delay. It's just, it's just prolonging the inevitable. Your business will only rise

to the person that is running it. Your business will only rise to the person that's running it.

And so let me introduce this idea that CS Lewis gave us in the abolition of man. He says that

there's fundamentally three types of men, three types of humans. And most leadership failures.

And I'm going to talk specifically about leadership today. Most leadership failures can be traced

back to which type is in charge, which person possesses the reins. You know, there is an old

adage that in life, you know, as a human, there's really like two types of dogs. And whichever

dog you feed grows and it, and it strengthens and then dominates, right? And, and you know, in

your life, sometimes when you feed the wrong dog, right? Like that thing grows and it has an

appetite in it. And as you feed that appetite, it continues to go. But as you starve, the things that

let's say are, are, are important, then those things begin to diminish. And, and so in this first,

you know, kind of person that we're talking about is, is a person that we're just going to

identify as the self-oriented man, right? The self-oriented person. Who is this person? So again,

three types of men. The first one is the self-oriented man. The person that we're talking about here

is a person who lives for appetite makes decisions based on comfort, avoids discomfort, accountability

or any correction. They're always motivated by fear, by fear or by ego. How does it ultimately work

out for me? In every question, the first answer that's given is always tied to their own self-interest

or their own validation. Lewis described this person as a person who is ruled by impulse rather

than reason or virtue rather than reason or virtue. It's this, it's the impulses that are fed. It's

like that, that the two dogs that I was talking about, it's like always feeding that dog of impulse

allows it to grow and strengthen, which makes your impulses that much more intense and that much

more present in your life. In the spiritual life, it would be a person where their faith is just

convenient. It's only a spoken about when it's convenient in a room of other people who like,

who believe the same way, right? When it's convenient for their life or their schedule.

In the spiritual life, their discipline is inconsistent. Again, go back to the self,

this is the self-oriented man. Their discipline is inconsistent, not consistent. You see spurts

or sporadic because again, it goes back to, it only is present when it serves them. Their convictions

shift with pressure. I was often taught as a young man that our thoughts turn into beliefs and

our beliefs turn into convictions. Convictions are the things that you would die for. Beliefs

are just something that you hold to be true. When I talk about convictions, I'm talking about those

things that you would literally, you would die for, you would fight over, you would stand up for

and those convictions shift with pressure. The self-oriented man in business looks something like

this. They chase trends. They chase what is convenient. They make emotional hiring decisions. They

hire based on what they feel versus what they know. They always avoid the hard conversations.

They protect image over integrity. Instead of looking for what is best when no one else is looking

integrity, they protect their image at all times. This person doesn't build empires. They build

ego systems. When you do not build or when you build something on ego, when ego is the foundation,

the self-oriented man, culture will always erode. Never grow. Culture does not get better. It always

gets worse. Trust will always erode. When you have someone who is self-oriented, trust is always

present in the beginning and always erodes over time. It's not that trust grows. It's always

that trust erodes. Lastly, discipline erodes. All the things that you know to be true and to

breed success always begin to lack over time. That is what happens when a self-oriented man is in

leadership. Here's person number two. You're ready? So person number two. This is the approval

driven man or the approval driven person. This is the most dangerous one because oftentimes with

the self-oriented man, you know what you're getting. You know what is present at all times.

You know how to steer and you know how to navigate. However, the approval driven man is so dangerous

because they live for reputation. They make decisions based on how they'll be perceived, not based on

truth. They need affirmation and they avoid being misunderstood. When someone is so cautious to

not be misunderstood, oftentimes they're navigating what is true, what is actually true.

See, as Lewis warns about this man or this man because it's shaped entirely by external

pressures. So in times are good, this person can thrive. When times are bad, it literally is a

disaster. This is not somebody who possesses internal virtue. It's somebody who is always,

always bound to external pressures in the spiritual life. So how do you know if this is present in

the spiritual life? This person performs what I would say is righteous, right? Like they're always

in the external doing what seems to be right. But when the when the limelight goes away or when the

when the accountability goes away, the righteousness or the righteous, the right actions, the

the adherence to truth begins to fade. They're concerned with optics rather than in what is true

in an internal. And then avoid conviction at all cost. They avoid conviction at all cost,

especially when it costs them their status. Status is everything to the approval driven man.

And so that is in the spiritual life. In the business life, they keep toxic employees because

they do not want to avoid conflict. They're always worried about the story that will be told if the

person is let go or if they're pushed outside of of the fold. There are a few bold decisions

because they'll upset people. They're always navigating, they're always navigating and playing

in the middle in the cautious zone, right? And they become politically cautious instead of

strategically courageous. They become politically cautious instead of strategically courageous.

You know, in life, there are times where it takes courage to do what is right. And this person

who is approval driven will always be politically motivated, making sure they're navigating the

thoughts and the opinions of others rather than stepping out with courage when it's time to make

choices. They don't lead from conviction. They lead from consensus. Consensus is a dangerous

gain, right? Because oftentimes in consensus, we have social chains. And those social chains are

tied to everybody else's beliefs, opinions, or thoughts. So never step outside of what is

the norm or what outside is outside of the group thing. And so what you get is mediocrity at best.

This creates a slow decay, not a rapid decay, a slow decay. Cultural confusion because people

don't know what their true identity is because the identity is a constant moving target. And mediocrity

is disguised as harmony. Sometimes harmony is the great erosion of our business culture.

Because harmony oftentimes tries to appease all things and all people. And you can't do it.

So this is person number two. This is the approval driven man, okay? Now person number three,

this is what we call the integrated man or the whole man as CS Lewis calls it. This is a very,

very rare leader, okay? And you have experienced, if you've experienced this or you, you know someone in

your life that exemplifies this, they'll immediately stand out once I'm describing this to you.

Who is this person? This person is governed by principle, not their appetites. It's a person who

is constantly pushing away appetites for the sake of making sure that principle is always put out

first. They're anchored in truth, not applause. It's not the applause that they live for. They're

living for that internal truth and instinct towards moving towards the truth. And they're comfortable

being misunderstood. They're okay when they know that they're going in the right direction

and people don't understand. They're disciplined internally before they demand externally.

They don't ask people to do the things that they're unwilling to do. I love, you know, this old

adage that I used to recite and I would write it on different areas of my life as I always wanted to

be a servant leader. And a servant leader I always described as is someone who is willing to go

last and get low, go last get low. That's always a servant leader. Somebody who is willing to be

at the lowest level who is also willing to go last, right? And that is what I'm talking about here,

disciplined internally before they ever demand externally. If you're demanding something that

you're not willing to do yourself, it is not someone who is representing truth, right? And so

Lewis is kind of a lot larger body of work when he's writing about the abolition of man. He's

talking about these traits and men that need to be disqualified, that need to be pushed aside.

He talks about this man aligned with objective and moral truth. He says, becomes whole.

You know, it's not that we are present and whole at all times, but a man who will be present with

truth in his life and constantly moving towards it will be in the process of being made whole.

In theology, that would be kind of the concept of sanctification. It's moving towards, right?

It's not that you are perfect, but it's moving towards that truth that you hold dear to.

This whole man, this integrated man in the spiritual life is obedient before it's visible,

right? Like they are always obedient when no one else is looking. They're quiet time. Their life

when no one can see that life behind the curtain, right? Is as strong and more obedient than

oftentimes the life in the external. They're consistent in private, and they're not moved by

cultural winds. They have conviction. They have a belief system. They have a code of honor, right?

That is a person who is this integrated man in the spiritual life. How about in the business life?

They make hard calls and they make them quickly. They see when truth is present and they move

towards that truth without hesitation. They hire and they put people in their life for alignment,

not convenience. It's not about somebody solving an issue or problem, but it's about putting the

right people on the right team who are going in the right direction. They hire for alignment,

not convenience, and they build systems rooted in principle. They have principles that are always

present and the systems never are in opposition to it. Then lastly, they think long-term. It's not

about the present. It's not about tomorrow. It's about the future. It's about that long-term

vision. An integrated man or the whole man is always looking towards that what I call in business

the North Star. They have something that is always making or a higher decision-making process

in our business and in our world, our North Star. My North Star is what I talk about a lot,

which is Impact Others, the nonprofit organization that we have. When making decisions, it's really

easy to make decisions when you have that in mind. Should we go do this? How does that impact

others? Should we make this choice? Should we build this product? Should we build this thing? It's

always with that in mind and it allows us to align towards something greater or bigger. This person,

this whole man can build something that outlives him because he isn't building to protect himself.

The ego, the person who's building out of ego, the person who is the self-oriented man,

they're building a monument to themselves at all times. The person who is always looking for

approval, external approval, they're building a monument to others. The ego person is

building a monument to themselves, the person who is always looking for others to approval,

they're building a monument to others and in the integrated man or the whole man,

they're building something that outlives them because they're not building to protect themselves.

They're not building just for others,

they're not building for themselves,

they're building for the future.

So how do we wrap all this up?

So how do we apply this to every area of our life?

The first thing I want to ask you is this,

what type of person are you under pressure?

When you think about those three areas,

the person who's self-oriented,

the person who is making decisions

based on everyone else,

and the person who is whole,

or the person who is integrated,

what type of person are you under pressure?

What type of person shows up when the thing that

creates the most fear, and maybe it's the lack of money, shows up?

What type of person shows up when someone challenges you,

right, like when somebody goes at you or somebody goes against you?

What is it? What is it that shows up?

Your relationships reflect who you are.

If I could look at your relationships,

it would be fairly easy to determine

which one of these three persons or men you are,

how you carry yourself, your team reflects it,

the people that are closest to you on your team reflects it.

Your revenue and your wealth also reflects it,

and your inner peace, most importantly, reflects it.

Systems amplify the men or the man that is running them.

If you're fragmented, your business will frag men.

If you're integrated, your culture will stabilize.

Here's the last challenge I want you to have.

All right, I want you to hear.

Here's the closing challenge.

You don't need all the tactical things to make you better.

You don't need a better funnel.

You don't need a better CRM.

You don't need a better pitch.

You don't need better employees.

You don't need all of those things to make you better.

You need to become more disciplined,

more anchored, less ego-driven, and less approval dependent.

You need to become more disciplined,

more anchored, less ego-driven, and less approval dependent.

As we think through these three men,

these three people that CS Lewis outlines in his essays,

I'm very much convicted because as I strive to be

that integrated whole man,

I realize that there are areas of my life where that ego-driven,

that one that is self-oriented shows up in certain areas.

I know that there are times where I will let the consensus rule,

even though I know that there is truth present,

and I know that sometimes that second man shows up.

But the goal of this podcast and the goal of this concept

and what CS Lewis was writing is to begin to choose to be that whole man,

to choose to be the integrated man, to choose to be one

who holistically dives and anchors into purpose and into truth

in every area of your life.

Do not be satisfied if that whole man shows up in one area of your life,

but not all areas of your life.

In our lives as driven entrepreneurs,

oftentimes will master one segment of life,

will master business, will master relationship,

will master sales, will master marketing,

will master certain areas of life.

But what CS Lewis challenges us too is to become a whole man,

to integrate at all levels,

to make sure that truth and anchoring into truth

isn't just present in the area that we actually find success in,

but it's anchored and it's tied to every area of our life.

To our faith, to our relationships, to our leadership,

to our business, and to the culture that's all around us.

Thanks so much for being a part of the podcast.

We're listening today.

I'd love to connect with you further and you can connect with me on social media

at Eddie Wilson official on any of the social media channels.