719: How to Better Manage Your Emotions, with Ethan Kross

Ethan Kross: Shift

Ethan Kross is the author of the national bestseller Chatter and one of the world’s leading experts on emotion regulation. An award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s top-ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he is the Director of the Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory. He’s the author of the new book, Shift: Managing Your Emotions–So They Don’t Manage You*.

Being a leader means that our emotions get triggered, often many times a day. While none of us can avoid those triggers, how we respond to them can make all the difference. In this conversation, Ethan and I explore his research on how to better manage our emotions.

Key Points

• We often assume that approaching emotions is universally good and avoiding emotions is universally bad. Reality is much more nuanced.
• We can strategically use our senses to modulate our feelings.
• Music is a simple and powerful way to manage emotions proactively. Use playlists that align with the mood you wish to create.
• Using distancing language when talking to yourself (i.e. saying “you” instead of “I”) can help you regulate.
• Time shifting may help regulate your emotions. Ask yourself, how will I feel about this in a week? A month? A year?
• Different tools work for different people at different times. Experiment to help you determine what works best for you.

Resources Mentioned

• Shift: Managing Your Emotions–So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

• How to Find Helpful Advisors, with Ethan Kross (episode 516)
• How to Grow From Your Errors, with Amy Edmondson (episode 663)
• How to Handle High-Pressure Situations, with Dan Dworkis (episode 701)

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