781 - You can become unrecognizable in 1 year

Hello and welcome to the new mindset who this podcast, my name is Kase Kenney

Ath, Kase.Kennyi Instagram and this is my weekly podcast where I create short

no BS episodes dedicated to helping you become the person you're meant to be

leave your conflict zone and live a purposeful and fulfilling life.

Let's go.

All right. Welcome to episode 781. Hello, my friend. Welcome to a fresh new

episode of new mindset who this as always. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for

supporting me and I was thinking back the other day about one of the favorite

quotes that I've written and it goes like this, I wrote reinvent yourself. Upgrade

your life so much that you have to reintroduce yourself to other people. I always

thought that was clever, right? The idea of changing so much that you've got to

reintroduce yourself to people who knew a younger, different version of

yourself. But I was thinking more about this firsthand from my life about how

quickly life can change for the better such that you kind of do have to reintroduce

yourself because you're a different person. It's a 180. You did something in your

life that makes you unrecognizable to people who knew that older version of you.

And I was thinking about how empowering that idea is. So in this episode, my

second is you can become unrecognizable in one year. You can absolutely become

unrecognizable in one year such that yeah, you probably are going to have to go

around and reintroduce yourself to people. So I want to back this up and I want to

show you a couple of underrated ideas to completely change your life in a year and

then emerge a different person, an upgraded person, a completely unrecognizable

person. Not because necessarily like you changed your personality or you moved

across the country or you like you did something dramatic physically where you're

like a before and after. I'm talking about something different. I'm talking

about the way you deliberately change the forces that have been shaping you.

You finally push back on the things that have shaped who you are instead of you

shaping who you are. This idea, you know, this isn't about some like Instagram

aesthetic thing or it's like you wake up and you're in Italy and you're a different

person. This is about identity. I think most people don't really realize frankly

or it's underrated how much of our current identity is simply momentum from past

decisions. Our current identity is the result of just small repeated behaviors,

social reinforcement of those behaviors, and then narratives that we tell ourselves

that we've never challenged. We haven't audited them. I've done some work on the

podcast before about Daniel Gilbert and his idea of what he called the end of history

illusion, which says that basically as humans, we really, really underestimate how much

we will change in the future. We're good at recognizing how much we've changed

in the past, but we think that this is the end. We can look back at who we were

five years ago and be like, oh my gosh, I've changed so much. But then we do this

weird human thing where we just assume who we are now is yeah, this is like a good

version. This is close to finished version. The end of history illusion says not

at all. We are completely nowhere near done changing. We are a draft of our future

selves. We are never front finished. I always say that the least permanent thing

about ourselves is ourselves. And one year is more than enough time to take advantage

of that fact that we are always changing and that we can really point ourselves

in the direction of better change to totally alter the entire architecture of your

identity. If you do it the right way. So I came up with what I think are three good

ways, three solid ways, three underrated ways to make that shift, to make yourself

unrecognizable in a year. First, it goes like this, I think you need to change

your standards of evidence. Think about this. You know, and I've talked about

this on a pod too. Most people think, oh, I lack confidence. But the reality is

you lack evidence. Your self concept is not built from what you tell

yourself. It's not built from affirmations. As we know, it's built from observation

that is your brain observing you. That is your brain observing you like your

elaborate. And over time, your brain collects a lot of data based upon your

behavior and it draws decisions based upon what it sees you do or what it sees you

don't do. And it says things like, oh, this person is a procrastinator. This

person avoids conflict. This person is not disciplined. This person is inconsistent.

Right. Those are just the observations. They're not in sauce necessarily.

It's just your brain saying, okay, I see this behavior. I see this behavior.

Here's the summary. Self perception theory, which I've talked about many times

before, says that our identities are the result of our brain observing our

behavior. And so if you want to become unrecognizable in a year, call it, you

have to increase the frequency of actions that change your identity. So your

brain says, whoa, whoa, what's going on here? These are, these are new actions.

What are we doing here? This is a new person. Oh, my gosh. And then the identity

follows from that. So I say in light of the area that you want to change health

relationships, career, creativity, commit to consistent, but most importantly,

like visible reps of the action. Right. So examples, you know, commit to

sending one uncomfortable email every single week to someone that you admire,

someone you want to get in touch with every single week, or publish one idea,

one song, one paragraph, one tweet, every such and such number of days, or

on investment side, I don't know, automatically invest a fixed percentage of your

income with no negotiation about it, no way out. Or yeah, go to the gym three

times per week, regardless of what's going on in your life, even when you don't

want to do it. And you could see what's happening here, right? You're generating

evidence. You're going to change in the process. That's great. You are creating

transformation. But most importantly, when it comes to becoming someone new, you're

generating evidence over 52 weeks. That's 52 emails. That's 52 songs. That's,

you know, I don't know, the math quick math, maybe like 30 to 40 workouts,

all these things. That is where your identity comes from. Proof. Proof. When you

gather that evidence intentionally, well, then it becomes impossible for you to

argue with yourself about who you are. You don't look around and be like, am I

that person? You're like, well, yeah, clearly I am. Cause look, I have 52 weeks of

evidence. And then your brain sees that. And your brain says, yeah, I agree with

you, man. And it updates the narrative. So you go from maybe a former

self being like, I just need to be more disciplined to you say, I am disciplined.

Look at the evidence. And the brain says, you are disciplined. Look at the

evidence. Right. So it's not, you're not declaring your identity.

You're creating evidence. And then the brain is making the observation that

you're disciplined. And that's where the identity comes from. So you have 52

weeks in a year. You can totally replace an outdated identity. If you give

your brain more evidence and the more evidence and the brain just totally

rewrites your story and voila, you're a completely new person. Second,

along related lines, we have to update our social loops or like our social

feedback loops. Identity is not a personal thing devoid of other people.

Identity is not in a vacuum at social, right? It's totally social. It's

completely shaped by expectations, by the judgment, by the reactions of people

around you. Sociologists call this the looking glass self, which basically

says that we form our self image based upon how we think others see us.

So if your social circle sees you as an impulsive person or an overly

nice person or someone who is a scaredy cat, you never leave your comfort zone,

subconsciously, you conform to that. It's not because you're weak or naive or

anything. It's just because we are social creatures. We're wired for belonging.

So if you want to become unrecognizable in a year, audit that loop.

Ask yourself, with the people around you, who is reinforcing your identity?

Who, not a nefarious level, but does anyone in your social circle benefit

from you staying exactly the same? Who is surprised? Who is supportive when

you stretch and you're being ambitious? Ask yourself these, who wants me to win?

Who encourages me to grow? Behavior spreads through your friend network.

There's all kinds of great research on like social contagion.

And it shows that your habits are completely influenced by proximity

to other people. You are likely statistically to resemble the behaviors,

the mindsets, the attitudes of the people you spend the most time with.

So they're not saying that you need to abandon your friend group, but just keep

it in mind. Spend more time in environments where the way you want to be is

the baseline for the group. If you want to become more financially disciplined,

surround yourself with people who are that way. If you want to become more

articulate, spend more time who, you know, have deep thoughtful conversations.

If you want to be around, if you want to build something entrepreneurial,

be around builders, right? You don't rise to the level of your goals.

You kind of drift toward the level of your context of your environment.

In over 12 months, you have an incredible capacity to recalibrate those standards

and internalize new norms and find yourself in position where you don't have

to explain your ambition or defend your ambition. It's there.

It's alignment. So think about your environment.

And third, think about the idea of raising the floor in your life versus raising the ceiling.

I think a lot of self-help advice says, oh, raise your ceiling, man. You know,

think bigger. More goals, more ambition. Just go big 10x.

I think the more powerful shift is raising the floor, the thing on which you stand.

Your floor is who you are on an average day or who you are on your worst day.

Anyone can perform well for a couple minutes or days or months when they're energized and inspired.

But the real transformation of self happens when you decide that

you will do something specific when you don't feel like it. That's the floor.

And behavior research consistently shows that this is the key that is a habit versus motivation.

Forget the motivation. Create the habit. Systems. If you want to become unrecognizable,

define the floor for yourself. Raise the floor, the non-negotiables in your life,

such as you don't skip workouts.

You don't let resentment linger. You always address it.

You don't spend impulsively. You don't procrastinate.

That's the floor. Raise your floor. Raise your floor.

Every time you fail to do that, every time you fail to do what you told yourself you would do,

you lower your trust in yourself. And that is what erodes your identity.

So if you align the floor with your values and you do it, it creates trust.

And trust is a multiplier. It does so many great things for yourself.

But over 30 365 days, raising your floor, oh my gosh.

It totally multiplies your trust in yourself with others.

You stop being someone who sometimes shows up. You're someone that everyone can count on.

You're someone that you can count on. That consistency is really important.

So those are like three ideas here.

And there's a bit more of the tail end of this, I would say, though, because these are big changes.

And along the way, I'd really encourage you to track what happens as you make these changes,

as you track like what you put out into the world.

So I say that's an important element here. Track. What are you tracking?

I think this is under looked. Most people track outcomes, right?

Like, oh, this is what happened as a result of this behavior. Sure, that's great to keep it on.

Track the behaviors. Track the behaviors.

Most people track the weight that they're trying to lose, the income they're trying to generate,

the followers are trying to gain so on and so forth. They don't track how often they initiated bold things,

risked things, took leaps of faith, had on its conversations, the foundation of those things.

We know this to be true, but outcomes are always lagging indicators.

Behaviors are the opposite of that, maybe a leading indicator.

So if you want to become unrecognizable, track the behaviors.

How many uncomfortable conversations did you initiate? How many times did you ask for something big and bold?

How many hours did you spend doing XYZ?

Tracking the behavior, I found it totally changes the energy of your intention and your attention.

And that is what changes your behavior. When you begin, when you measure boldness and consistency,

instead of results, you reinforce the identity. You are someone who does these things, and that's so important.

And it kind of shifts your perspective. You stop asking yourself, oh, you know, am I winning?

And you start asking yourself, well, did I execute? Did I do the things that I said I needed to do?

That compounds, that compounds, because it's proof that you're practicing what we can call strategic discomfort.

We know that growth requires this comfort, and it's not random discomfort.

It's not sometimes discomfort. It's consistent discomfort.

So that means deliberately doing things that expand who you are.

That is speaking up in a meeting when you're afraid, negotiating something when you're averse the conflict.

It's rejecting fear and doing the thing, the small thing anyway.

Again, this gives your brain even more to look at and say, wow, this is the kind of person who does this.

That is an incredible behavior shift that makes you unrecognizable.

And with all that, I think then, yeah, you kind of do, you step into that new identity.

And a requirement of that is if you're going to step into a new identity,

well, you stop performing an outdated identity.

And that's important, too, because we all have social memory.

That is, we remember, for instance, people in your life remember who you used to be.

And sometimes you'll keep being that person to them because that's who they know you to be.

You know, maybe you're, you've always been the laid back chill one or maybe you've always been the reckless one

or the available one.

That's who you were to them. They have that social memory and it's tied to expectation.

Reinventing yourself requires you to hang up the jersey, retire that role.

You just do it. You do the behavior that aligns with your new self.

So you say, no, when you used to always say, yes, and you're patient when you used to be reckless

and you rest when you used to overextend yourself, whatever it is,

you have to resist the urge to slide back into that old self.

Over time, people's memories will update.

And that's fine. But in the immediate, you have to resist.

It's not the idea here. You can become unrecognizable in a year.

Not because you did some dramatic 180 or anything crazy.

I'm talking about structural change at the identity level.

And this is opposite. Most people try to change their lives by setting bigger goals

or wanting to be more confident or wanting new outcomes.

But they don't change their systems. They don't generate new advice.

Evidence rather. They don't generate new evidence.

They don't alter their environment.

Reinvention is the cumulative effect of creating evidence.

52 weeks of evidence.

365 days of small pieces of evidence.

That's a long time. You could do a lot in that time.

And the change might not feel that dramatic because it's over a long period of time.

It will feel small and incremental.

But suddenly it will add up.

People will be like, wow, you have changed.

And that's when you have to reintroduce yourself.

You don't change overnight. You change deliberately.

You change by no longer outsourcing your identity to past habits,

to past environments, to past pieces of evidence.

In 12 months, you can't absolutely build new proof for yourself.

That is so impactful.

That builds so much trust in yourself that, yeah, you changed completely.

You're unrecognizable. And you have to turn around and reintroduce yourself to other people.

So that's the idea. Just something to think about.

Three strong things to do to totally reinvent yourself.

I'll end it right here. If this was helpful, be sure to check out my book,

The opposite of settling. I think that there's one area of life where you owe it to yourself

to reintroduce yourself to the world as a new upgraded person.

It's in your love life, your dating life, how you hold yourself, what you attract.

So be sure to check that out. The book is called The opposite of settling.

But that's it. As always, thank you so much for listening.

Thank you for supporting me. And until next episode, I'm out.

Thank you.