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Okay, Poodle, how do you want to start this episode of The Single Life?
Just give me one second, Maddie. I just need to finish my bowl of purple spiders.
Uh, what?
I said I need to finish my bowl of special cake, no need for overreacting.
I can see the look of judgment in your thousands of spider- eyes.
Uh, okay, um, hello, I'm Matt.
Which version of Poodle am I speaking to this morning?
It's me, you hayseed. The one and only OG Poodles.
But if I seem a bit off, it's because I'm on a new diet.
Do I even want to know?
Well, it's an oldy but goody, the special cake diet.
I eat a bowl of special cake for breakfast, a bowl of special cake for lunch.
Oh, yeah, an essential dinner.
No, I just snored enough ketamine to trip my balls off.
Poodle, some of the side effects of extreme ketamine usage are hallucinations.
Calm down. Don't get your spider webs in a wad, Miss Charlotte.
Hey, what are you writing there?
Some eggplant emoji pig?
That's funny.
Can't argue with you there, Miss Spider, with Maddie's stace on it.
Poodle, I don't think this new diet is good for you.
What do you mean?
It came directly from one of my most trusted sources.
Shifty Pete, my new prison pen pal.
Okay, Sissy's.
I think we can learn yet another lesson from Poodle here.
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All right, y'all.
Thanks for listening and we will love you later.
Good show, poodle.
But I'm starving.
I just need to eat something and we can start love is blind.
Oh crap.
I didn't have time to go to the grocery store.
I'm just going to order some food real quick.
Boom, I'm the ones McDonald's.
Don't you dare.
We said we were both going to eat healthier this year
and what happened to your meals that we ordered from factor?
Well, I was supposed to get them yesterday.
Yesterday?
But then the UPS man delivered them to the building across the street.
So I texted my neighbor but she's out of town.
So she said her dog walker might be able to let me-
Okay, help me. Your story has become tiresome.
Well, what else do you have to eat in your house?
Oreos.
I thought you said you weren't buying Oreos anymore.
I didn't.
I mean, they're the new protein Oreos with fiber.
Sure.
Well, Maddie, I don't know what you're eating on your break
but I'm going to have one of my delicious meals from factor.
What am I going to have today?
The honey mustard chicken or perhaps the Thai coconut curry,
baramundi?
Baramundi?
Who is that a fish?
It sounds fancy and I want it.
A magical fish it is indeed.
Sissy's, are you like us and finding it hard to balance the business of life with your healthy eating goals?
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Factor's going to help me get ripped this year.
Sure.
But yes, factors the way to go for Sissy's on the go.
Always fresh, never frozen, and ready in about two minutes.
No prep, no stress, and listen.
I don't know what they put in their garlic rosemary pork chop with roasted brussels sprouts,
but it is delicious.
I lick the plate, y'all.
Please never say lick in my presence again.
Anyway, I already know what factor meal I'm eating tonight.
Grilled filet mignon, and creamy Parmesan shrimp,
served of a roasted broccoli and topped with a smoky onion butter.
It's like a restaurant meal at Shape Poodle.
Hey, Poods, could I come over and have one of your factor meals?
I'll bring you some protein Oreos.
I'm sorry, the kitchen at Shape Poodle is currently closed.
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Guys, I think we just have an outfit party right here in the Sydney airport.
Oh, I will pick one slutty.
That's not slutty enough.
Hello, this is Captain Poodle speaking.
Are you ready to find love?
That's a boy, baby.
Love.
Exciting and new.
The one-line.
They're cat-bushing you.
Shocker.
Sir, you'll be flying the parts unknown.
90-day Beyonce.
Mary, someone you only met on your phone.
Be the French or Chinese or brand-new K-1 visas the key.
With the key to what Poodle?
To love.
It's reality gays 50 off.
I needed this is spectacular.
It's spectacular, but also missed opportunity.
I needed a musical montage of her trying on outfits at the airport
and Josh and Chris being the closet gay couple that they are.
Yes, applauding them.
I got to say my favorite was I don't need a bra underwear with that one.
Yeah, it is she's gold.
She's gold.
I I did not know how much I needed at least on this season.
It's just a it's just a good kick in the kidneys.
A knife in the kidneys as Cody Brown would say, but in a good way.
But in a good way.
Yeah, I Jesus star.
I just think this is major silver twins energy.
Yes, um, the narration.
The but weirdly, the thing that at least has that either
helps her or maybe hinders her is there's a little more self-awareness
than the silver twins.
They have none.
None.
They have zero.
No, they don't.
Yeah, they don't have this.
And if they do, they hide it so well, they've almost convinced themselves
of the life that they live in.
Yeah, at least it's a little more self-aware,
but she really doesn't care.
And she walks around with big slut energy.
It's fantastic.
It's wonderful.
It's wonderful.
We love her.
She's friend of the pod.
Friend of the pod.
We don't get confirmed.
I think we are going to do later in the season.
We're going to do some an Elise and Courtney.
And she's dare through me with those eyes.
Home is gorgeous.
Yeah, it's not obsessed with it.
Even like the little things in our bedroom,
where she has little things to put her purses on.
Didn't she take eight bags?
She took three.
Did you see that whole thing that was just full of bikinis?
There was so many.
I bet you that's more than poodle slut underwear drawer.
I, yeah, I think.
I think her parents give her some money.
Right?
We have at least never talks about her job.
Yeah, we don't know that.
Yeah.
Well, what could it be?
I don't think that's important.
It's like Courtney.
Do we even know Courtney's job?
No, but I think she might be a little subsidized by her parents.
Hey.
Yeah.
Wish I could have been.
Wish I could have been.
This is dead paper college.
This is, did we introduce the show last night?
No, we didn't.
And we didn't do it this time on reality.
We didn't none of it.
We're going to do it for this time.
Are we?
Do we need it?
No.
Y'all, this is reality, guys.
I'm Maddie.
And I'm poodle.
And we are two ridiculous homosexuals
who love nothing more than tearing reality television a new one.
Truly.
And today we are talking about 90 day fiance,
B 90 season eight episode 12 final boarding call.
We sound a little different if you haven't listened to part one.
You should because we had a lot of fun in that episode.
But if you're on the video, I am now in short.
You're where you can see my creamy games.
Don't say that when you're on my bed.
I will just literally push you off.
It was hot in here.
We are.
We did say that together in case.
It was hot in here.
Y'all, we are still in New York.
Snowden.
Although it's pretty easy.
Is that snowden?
No, we're not snowden now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm going home tonight.
We're in we're in New York and we are recording together.
So if it sounds a little different,
don't you spill that water on my bed?
Please.
Please.
Please.
We're anyway, we're hanging out here.
So it sounds a little different.
Christine, it does her best.
So but if you're a little thrown off by it, we get it.
But the video works.
So you should be able to watch on you.
If you're watching on YouTube,
we're in a bed.
We're in a bed or if you're sending night
watching from your $15 tier of RG+.
Hello, hello, hello.
Hello, hello.
Hello, what?
Quickly secret lives of normal lives.
March 12th.
It's dropping.
We're very excited.
We did get the screeners.
All of them.
We hope to within 48 hours have those up after it.
Again, by theides of March.
Yes, something around there.
We, we, uh, I think I think I've got it all scheduled.
Great.
Yep.
Well, so then that tells you if we don't get that on time,
it's Poodle's fault.
Yeah, sure, blame me.
Uh, I'm fine with that.
No, it's not.
I will, I will take the blame.
Gladly.
We don't need a blame.
There's no, no, who needs a tribute blame?
What is that?
Everyone.
Oh, boy.
Um, what is that song?
No one ever
is to blame.
Uh, uh, uh, no one, no one ever.
Boy, that was a weird harmony.
Do do do do do do.
Did you hear?
Jesus.
What?
I could touch you.
You were on my band.
I didn't expect you to touch me.
Uh, oh, I can't remember who I was now.
Did you hear that cover that, uh, uh, oh,
Kelly Clarkson did a cover of Phil Collins.
Take me home.
No, but I love that song.
My God, you will sob.
Okay.
It's, it's for billion that up with me.
No, I guess it's, I guess I, I guess I'm taking improv class.
I guess I haven't, I guess I, I guess I haven't, um, heard it.
So it's hard for me to.
Glad you're excited.
I said, I loved the song.
What do you want me to do?
I just want you to.
Until I heard it, just
start things.
Okay.
Who does going to do a Broadway corner this time?
I'll do a Broadway corner because I saw one Broadway show
because I didn't have any time, uh, basically.
And then New York shut down on Monday.
Um, I was, I basically, this was the only,
Sunday afternoon was the only time I really have.
I was going to see something tonight, but now I'm going to dinner.
So I'm not seeing shit while I'm here.
Well, not you, not one fucking play, not one fucking musical.
No, I'm meeting a friend tomorrow night.
Um, well,
guess you don't like art.
There's actually not a ton out right now that either is new.
There's going to be a ton more opening in late March and April.
I don't want to walk in Times Square with fucking 20 inches of snow on the ground.
It's actually pretty cleared out.
And you know, there's going to be so many tourists there.
You know, you don't have to walk in Times Square to get to Broadway.
It's too much.
You have to have to go near it, unfortunately.
It's too much.
But you go up eighth Avenue.
You go up eighth Avenue.
Avoid all.
Hey, all over New York.
Sissy's are listening.
Anyway, you go up eighth Avenue.
Take all this little stuff.
It's fine.
It's fine.
I'll see media or regional productions in Los Angeles.
That's not fair.
But it is actually.
There's actually been some good ones.
Now they've been some good ones.
I think I'm going to miss the sweetie that's happening because there's no way I can get down there.
Um, it's a long way.
It's a very long way.
Oh, yeah, they're doing way.
There's a lot.
No, um, a lot more.
A lot more.
A lot more.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay.
Your shorts have stains on them.
I can't do it.
You know, I thought it was chocolate, but it might be blood when I cut myself.
The act does look like blood.
Well, I'm sleeping on this side of the bed tonight clearly.
Well, I have to call them and ask for new sheets.
And they're going to think I'm a slut.
It's been washed because I shan't look bad, y'all.
Yeah, I think it's blood.
Great.
Because you know how you're cooking and you cut yourself and you don't know you've cut yourself.
No, and there's just blood all over the floor.
No, I don't do that.
First of all, I, I want a, I don't cook as much as you, but b,
I don't continuously cut myself with a knife like you do.
I don't think you're careful when you cut.
You're just in the zone.
You're probably listening to music and you're just thinking about, I'm in the zone.
And the chefs cut themselves all the time.
Well, I think you could be a little more.
I remember they did a Thanksgiving live on the Food Network and
Jada cut her finger in the show.
Happens.
It happens.
I get going to, there's a lot of people listening who will, who have cut themselves and all of a sudden
there's this blood all over the floor or on the counters.
Sorry, poodle.
I can't do the pod today.
I can't.
You'll have to do it alone.
Calm down.
Today is my birthday and I have absolutely nothing to wear.
Nothing.
My closet is full and I have nothing, nothing.
Okay, stop singing.
Your closet is full of things.
You bought impossibly war once and then emotionally abandoned.
Those are not clothes.
Those are receipts.
Accuracy is not helpful right now.
I'm at a loss, poodle.
Which means I'm asking you for advice.
Help me, poodle one, Kenobi.
You're my only hoe.
You mean hope.
I was right the first time.
That's fair.
What is your birthday?
And this is the one day that I have to be somewhat nice to you.
Last year you peed on my front door.
It was more about christening.
That's a nice thing.
But girl, have we learned nothing?
You need to get your new birthday wardrobe from quince.
Oh yeah, quince.
Good idea, but remember, I can't spend my entire rent on clothes.
That's the beauty of quince.
It's affordable and looks at the same time.
Light wig cashmere sweaters.
Short sleeve mongolian cashmere polos.
Which, by the way, are going to make you look chic without even trying.
Well, did I just say that about you?
I am nice.
I do love looking chic.
Linen bottoms and shorts tease in 100% pima cotton or European jersey linen.
These are versatile pieces that actually mix and match and hold up.
Season to season occasion to occasion,
birthday to birthday.
And it's quince, so it's top quality.
Of course, the pima cotton tea is a forever staple in your closet.
So it stays soft and doesn't peel.
And the European jersey linen is breathable and lightweight.
And everything is made to last.
You are so right.
And because quince works directly with top factories and cuts out all the middleman,
you're not paying for brand markup or a fancy retail space.
Just the quality itself.
A total, this is genius.
Most things I recommend are.
And something else I would highly recommend is quince's organic stretch
corduroy utility shirt.
It's soft and luxurious, but still has that lived in quality
that makes me seem approachable even when I'm not.
Ooh, and I'm looking on this site now and they have cashmere polos.
I love my 100% Mongolian cashmere sweater from quince,
but I bet the polos have the same cozy feel.
But with the cute short sleeves, it shows off my arms.
Oh, your arms?
Yikes.
I mean, you do have very proportionate elbows.
Oh my God, look at me being so nice right now.
Who am I?
Well, if you keep saying it, then you know, and just like me, quince is nice too.
They only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship
and ethical production.
It's not fast fashion.
It's clothing that means something.
Okay, I'm convinced.
I'm going to have the best birthday outfit.
Obviously, you have me guiding you.
Now, stop over complicating your wardrobe.
You don't need to closet full of options.
You need a few pieces that actually work.
Birthday Maddie is going to look incredible.
Hmm, acceptable.
Let's go with the birthday Maddie will look acceptable.
And with that, I'm done.
My nice Sarah is completed.
You're not getting that for another year.
I figured.
Well, Sissy's, you can go to quince.com slash reality
gaze for free shipping and 365 day returns.
That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it.
And you will now available in Canada too.
Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last.
Go to cuince.com slash reality gaze for free shipping
and 365 day returns.
quince.com slash reality gaze.
I don't know.
I don't think you're aware.
I'm alive.
That blood makes me know that I'm alive.
I don't think you're aware sometimes of your body.
That's fair.
And you don't have depth perception.
She bird.
Why can't you be more aware?
Is that what she would say to you?
Just be aware of your body.
Because I would bump into things or I would fall.
Or when you were 80 and people bruising Silly,
your legs are going to look like you were just flayed.
Yeah, yeah, it's bad.
Is other announcements?
Do we talk about Love Is Blind?
All, I think Love Is Blind 10 or 11 are out.
We're kind of waiting for the finale on Wednesday.
And again, please do not DM us and saying,
when's the episode coming out?
We don't get a screener for that one.
Comes out when we do that.
So we watch it when you watch it.
It'll probably come out late the next day, maybe the following.
We just have to fit it in with our schedule.
We don't get screeners.
I'm excited to see how it ends.
Right now,
I have a feeling that only one couple is getting married.
Yeah, Vic and Christine,
who the 10th full hack,
these stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff.
Again, if all numbers you could have sung.
Done one triumphant.
Notes.
That's, that's, that is, that is no one's favorite. But when you're a flailing homosexual,
that's what you and I are going to play on the Weston one day. That's true. For, for
my, and Andre, yes, yes, will be perfect at it. You're exactly right. Yes. I don't know
if it'll be the Weston. Maybe the Weston to Palm Springs.
The Weston to Peoria.
Anyway, far too many notes for, but what's on them about Christine?
The Carlotta gets in there.
You all, if you need to know what goes on inside our head, listen to the track called notes.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It is not something you will ever hear
on a greatest hits. No, it is not anything with the big melodies. No, it is just them talking.
The music of it's born, but watching on the stage version is funny. Yes, yes.
It is my favorite song from family opera. It is my favorite.
I love Premadana though, but I love how it transitions into Premadana. Yeah, exactly.
And the key change, it's beautiful. Yeah. Oh, God, we got to go. I'm, I'm feeling too gay even
for New York. It's great. Um, anyway, who would be our Premadana?
But when we're playing the Weston, the magic is going to be like when our probably like 60,
so 10 years from now, um, Demi libato.
Yeah, I know.
Got to be sun casting great, great. Maybe maybe Ariadah Grande. No, okay. No, maybe
it maybe 10 years. That's that's how we're casting Carlotta young these days. Yeah,
because she'll be because Christine is eight. Yeah, Chris.
And then Meg's just a monkey. Yes, I would really love to do it. I would love to do it now with
Renee Fleming. That would be perfect. But that's too high for her, I think. Oh, no, she could do it.
She could do it. She could do it. Yeah. My, um, my, one of my first voice teachers sang Carlotta
all through Germany. Oh, wow. Yeah.
We've gone a field. We've gone a gay field. Where are we now? Any more announcements? I think we're
good. Yeah, falls on YouTube to save you want to watch it. Come at me if you want a cameo,
not Jake, because it's too much for him. I'm not a cameo. Um, you can, yeah, sorry. And, um,
oh, this is what I wanted to say. Great. What are you doing on that plane? We come back. We've
already talked about your working on a script. I'm writing on it. I'm writing it and what else
are you doing? I don't know. Starts with the tech and ends with X. Oh, I'm looking at, I'm looking
through my tech, my sex. Yeah, we're just waiting. I've already started. I've already started
compiling them. Well, but I have to go back years and years and years to the archives. Y'all,
I'm pushing it because my parts are easy. I don't want to do anything. We just show up and watch
a movie. Interesting how that works. We can do that. But we're going to premiere them both the same
week. We're going to look for me in March. I'm, I wanted it to be February. I'm sorry. This was
it. We had to go to the ambies. And then there's love is blind. The ambies did kind of focus with
love is blind. And then with more women wives. So, uh, can that be my birthday present after my
birthday? You finally release the sex. No, I'll do it when I get it around to it. But I'm working.
Do you, how about this? Do you want it? Do you want it fast? Or do you want it good?
That probably was one of the texts. That was a good joke. That was one other podcast.
That's the thing. I don't laugh. I just appreciate it.
Or, or I'll say, that's funny, which is like, did you ever seen like a room full of like,
no, that's what I do when I'm writing meetings. You're just going, we're so cerebral and you're
writing with someone that's funny. That's funny. That's great. And like, it's, it's just so funny when
like, if you're a room full of like comedy people and there's like, yeah, that's really good.
No one laughs. No one. And like, if you someone does laugh, it's a big deal.
Yeah. And when they're on set, you would laugh because you'll watch someone performing it.
But like when you're coming up with it, like, you might laugh a little bit. It's just writing,
writing funny things is weird. Yeah. Yeah. Or like I said, that's funny.
No, I do it too. It's terrible. And you hate it when I do it. I hate it when you do it.
I'm like, but I do it. Well, you do it. What kind of janky iPad cases that I think it's fine.
Mine holds itself up. Yours is like flimsy. I know. I need to get a bit of one.
Yeah. It is flimsy. Now it's just like reclining on my leg.
There. That's perfect. All right. So I have my flashy socks. These are still flashy. They're fine.
They're fine. All right. All right. Let's talk about it in.
Forrest in China. Forrest in China. When we last left and they had just told mom and dev
that by a pool that they are or pool as pool would say. You say pool. Yeah. By a pool. By a pool.
By a P U L L. Yeah. Oh, you got a new pool. You got a new pool. But so they just said we are
getting married. We are engaged. She's not taking it well. And China steps in and says,
look, I'm an adult and I'll decide on what we do. And again, Molly's like, but I worry about you
and for us and you, China, you're not worried about China, Molly. You have two shits about
China. Here's the interesting thing. And a sister brought this up on the Patreon comments.
And it makes perfect sense. Because I've said before, Forrest is on disability.
I guarantee you, Molly is on disability. For Molly to probably get some type of governmental
assistance as a caretaker, she, if Forrest was not under her care anymore, this would be debilitating
financially for her. Oh, yeah. Because that's, that's, you can, I mean, which is wonderful that
you can get that. But it's like several thousand dollars. But this, this is a system thing. Yeah.
And she's probably been playing the system for a very long time. Yeah. And she, she feels like
that kind of person. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so far I said, well, we talked and I explained it and
she explained herself and, um, and Molly said, was she asking for your humble forgiveness?
She's like, no, but she told me what was going on and explained to me why she did this and
she still has, she lied because she has trauma from her real, and so it's when she's like, we
all have stress for us. We all have trauma. Effie, we all got pain. We all got pain. And, and then
Molly says, but why, why don't you think she would do what she won't do it again? Um,
um, someone taught, uh, forest the phrase, and it's very, it was very common with autistic people
with, like, they use a certain phrase over, wrong wasn't built in a day, which she said earlier.
In other words, things will take time. Uh, but she will prove herself. And Molly asked, why didn't
you propose after she proved herself? This is such a weird thing. How, how would she, wait a second.
Your socks were on the wrong feet. There's an R on the bottom. And I bet you there's an L on
that other one and you put them on the wrong feet. Is there, look, is on your right foot? Does it say
L? I didn't even know there were. Look at the bottom of your right foot. No, your right foot.
That's your last. Does it say L? Yeah. You put your socks on the wrong feet. I don't think it
matters. Well, they probably fit better. You want to switch them out? I had no, no. I had no idea.
That was a different. Yeah, because they're sports socks, because they hug your feet differently.
And I don't know. Well, I learned something new today. I've been indiscriminately putting them on.
I'm so sorry. I couldn't listen. I don't know what you just said for the last two minutes,
because I was staring. If you're watching video, I was just staring going, wait a second.
I have, I have been, I have been indiscriminately putting on these socks. How many things are
labeled that you don't even know? I don't care about labels. That's fair. Labels.
It's a buddy Cole from Kiss and the Hall, where when there's like, it was like women's something
and he would go, look, then it went label labels labels labels labels labels. Okay, sorry. Back to
it. It was flying blind as it were blind. He's that, that's the problem. Homosexuals become
it's respectful. I saw him live. It was really funny. When I saw Kiss and the Hall live,
he did buddy Cole. Yeah, he's great. He's, he hooked, he accidentally hooked up with his brother.
His brother really should have said something. All right. All right. So yeah, she's like, why aren't
you going to prove yourself or how is she going to prove herself? And then she's like,
for us, you're more full of shit than a Christmas goose. Is that a factual phrase? I've heard
your full, your, your full of it, you're more full than a Christmas, you're more full of it than
a Christmas goose. I've never heard full of shit. Someone to say that. In other words, you're, yeah.
Yeah, but I've never heard someone say shit in there. So she's a, you're just accepting her line.
She just says, mom, I admitted everything I did. I was wrong. She's like, I suffered from
mistrust with people from my past. She said, I am trying to do my best. And Molly says, now this
is a fair thing to say. Molly says, we've heard this for seven years and up until three days ago,
it was a lie. So the herstery is, yeah, much more on the side of the lie. But for us as mom,
at the end of the day, I'm not answering. And she's like, answer my question. He said, I'm not answering
your question, because your question is ridiculous. And then she's, and he's like, are you going to
be part of our lives or not? And she's like, so you're giving me an ultimatum. And he's like, I
don't like the attitude you're having. Seems like you can't handle my decisions. Where did Boris
get this back? I'm, yeah. Well, he, he and Sheena banged. No, not yet. They're going to bang
later. Oh, yeah, his throbbing erection. I guess it's what's making him. Sorry. I just really
destroyed everyone talking about forest's throbbing member. I really hope that Seth MacFarland has
been tagged because when he does kind of just look around, it is the human embodiment of
it is never my life. I've seen someone more accurate. I mean, even the personality type a little bit.
Yeah. Like I just want to watch for sing Shabupee. Yeah. Yeah. Remember when they did the entire
song Shabupee on. I didn't start watching this show again. I fell out of it. I watch reruns.
I think I don't think it's still on anymore. Oh, is it not? No, I thought it really. Okay. I don't
know. All right. No, the reruns. I still want to let me look. Um, so he's, she's like, he's like,
mom, I don't want to call you anymore stress. I love this because he's throwing back what she said.
Yes, it makes new episodes. Okay. Great. Sorry. I go ahead. I'm happy for them. He has thrown it back.
And she's like, oh, you're the big man now. Growing up forest can make all his decisions on his
own. He's like, yeah, I am. I gotta say it just shows Molly's character more. Totally. That's not the
way you talk to your son. You're the big man. It's so, and she does kind of cry at one point and
says an interview. Y'all, this is not about him and she's about her. It is about, I agree. I
think it's about money. And it's also that she's going to lose her, quote, best friend and her
purpose. Yep. That she's going to lose that. That's what she's really about. She has
meshed herself so much with taking care of her son and making sure her son knows that he can't
do things on his own. Yep. She truly has done a disservice to him as a job with autism.
You should be empowering your child. Yeah. Yeah. Not taking it away. Because honestly,
I don't, for at least from what we've seen, I don't think forest should be on disability.
It seems like he could work. Well, here's the thing. I don't, I can't speak exactly to his,
um, his, the way he interacts with the work environment. I guarantee you it's been probably
he had some problems at a job and she went, you don't need to work forest. You're just, you're,
you're incapable of working with other people. So she has given him all this in his head more
than it actually is there. Um, it is, she is, she is, she is thinking that she's trying to protect
him or telling him that, but she winds up cutting him off from the world. And, um, yeah. And
keeping him, because if you can keep him powerless, he will be under her thumb forever. That's not
what you do to your child. Is it what you do to your ex-husbands, if you're poodle?
Well, that's, that's a matter of self protection. Yeah, that's different. I'm protecting myself
financially. We've got wheels and trust involved in that. That's different. That money's mine.
We're trying to get a studio in New York here. Um, I got to protect myself from the children.
And so she said, I know that she and I manipulated him and he's going to do what he wants to do. And
I feel like I lost my son. And, and she says, you've done this crap to me over and over,
victim me. Yeah. And I'm tired. I've saved you out of every situation. You turn around and give
me. You turn around and give me the big bird. The big bird. And he's like, you know what?
That won't happen next time. I promise. I will come to you next time. I believe that.
Yeah. And this is what's interesting. Uh, so he said, she is not, she's not going to move forward.
If you're going to be in our lives, it's like, and I think, and I want you to learn
lives. And she's like, oh, you think you might be surprised threatening threatening. And, and then
I wrote down, oh, the ironing, he came almost to break up Sheena with her parents.
But he may have broken his up his own relationship with his mother. Yeah.
Very different than when we again, when I go back to what we believed in the first two episodes of,
I know. He's got a safe Sheena. No, no, no. That's sharp does force needed to be shaved, shaved,
saved, saved and shaved and shaved. Uh, they walk away and she says, I'm sorry, my love, but thank
you for standing up for me. And while he's like, well, he's on his own now. And she starts crying.
And then she says, which doesn't make sense. She's crying. And she's like, I feel like I'm Sheena.
I mean, she's saying, because that's still she's crying in front of Sheena crying. Oh, she's a
terrible person. She's not good. No. Speaking of terrible people. Oh, it's talking about Rick and
Trish. All right, keep talking. I just got to grab something real quick. I don't know what's
happening. We're doing the show still. It's live. We can't stop. Don't walk in front of the camera.
Oh, no, here we go. Um, Rick basically says, I just need some minimums. Eminem's just some
Eminem's just a little sugar to just kind of pet me up. You know, what are you doing? I'm just
getting a little snack. It's I thought when you said you were getting snacks for Mary Payne,
I thought it would be like the regular pack of Eminem's. It's not the sharing. This is all that
they had. I'm sure that's all they had. Mm-hmm. I'm sure you don't want any. I don't. I'm sure
because I don't want to eat on camera and don't put food don't want to put food in my mouth when I'm
talking. I'm glad. Well, you go after me. Sorry for misophoning up people, but I need a little sugar
in New York. Thank you, Mary Payne for telling me to get Eminem's. I prefer peanut. Me too.
She asked for these. Oh, beggars can't be choosers. Yeah. Thank you, Mary Payne. We're in your snack.
That's all I need it. Do you need any more? I'm good. Okay. Let's continue. So Rick and Trish up.
What do I have to do now to make this right? Baby talk, baby talk. I hate him the way. Yeah.
Although Facebook is trying to get me to be his friend. Yeah, he's all over. But
it's a way. Yeah, I know. Yeah, really. Oh, come on. You're a 50-year-old man. This
motherfucker is a waste of space. This piece of shit is sucking oxygen from the rest of us.
Tap dance out of my life. It's this. I agree. I men like this. I get this again. I've said this
before. They should have some type of bright coloration like a monarch butterfly. So women know
because they will. They'll attach themselves like a parasite. Yeah.
So you are done. Yeah. And I. Yeah. Happy day. We've had a lot of these guys. Yeah. We've had a lot of
these guys. Brian from last B90 who was in Brazil. Yeah. We have Brian. We had.
Um, in the, um, what's his name? The guy, the guy from Vegas who is dating the trans woman
in the Philippines. Lauren. Oh, yeah, yeah. Lauren is like this guy. The other thing is and
pred for it to a lower level. But he's got a lot more problems. So you don't, you don't,
you notice a lot more ahead of time. Mm hmm. But these are the kind of men who will just,
they won't learn. They'll never learn anything from their relationships because they never did
anything wrong. It was always the women. They will never learn. And again, different when you have
seven ex-husbands because you never did anything wrong. I never did anything wrong.
It is an angel. But yeah, it was the husbands that were the problem. It's true. And well,
again, like you said, the children, but no, they're so I'm, it is 2026. I'm sorry. I am, I just
feel like we're at a stage. If you are with a man who does not know how to take responsibility
for mistakes, get the fuck out. Yeah. Yeah. There's too much self help. There's too many memes.
There's, you have to actively avoid bettering yourself. I agree with you. I agree with you. I
don't want to shame anyone who's staying. But listen, listen, it's fine. We can't judge. Not
with the shit we've stayed and done. But honestly, but if someone is accusing you of cheating,
it's always projection. No, I mean, I was in a relationship with a guy like this, never took
responsibility for. So I say it because I've lived it. And once you make a decision to never be with
somebody like that again, y'all, it's so free. You don't realize I bet because Rick and Trisha,
they're, they're DOA. When they break up, when? Yeah. But, but I think Trisha is going to go,
oh my God, I didn't realize how much I was emotionally taking care of him. And having too like
a tune to his emotions, she's going to feel, because I remember y'all, you're going to feel so
relaxed. It's like you're on a vacation, not dealing with their infantile bullshit. Wow.
Glad you're over it. I'm over it. And he said, she's like, I trust you. And the problem was,
I did not expect this. I did not expect this. And he's like, how can I trust you when you go
back? He's like, baby, I promise I'm going to be faithful. That's the thing. Look at me. Look
him. But the thing what you do say is if you have cheated, you can instead of this kind of,
look at me, baby, saying, and you can just be super honest and vulnerable. I fucked up. I,
I did something to you. And I'm really, really sorry. And it's, it's, it's being forthright
instead of this baby. Yeah. Please forget. It's, it's, it's this Ike Turner kind of baby. I'm so sorry.
I hit you. I won't be this bad. Yeah. It's, it's, I just wish it, if this ever happens,
men who are straight men who are listening, please don't do this. Baby, I'm so sorry.
Just be fucking honest. Honesty is the biggest fucking turn on.
Just straight up honesty. That's a damn truth.
Not, not honestly, we were trying to hurt someone. Very different, very different. But just,
just honesty that means I need to tell you this because I care about the way you feel. Yes.
Anyway, so he's like, I just don't, I don't want to add to your hurt. I'm just so sorry.
A promise. She went, don't promise because you did that before.
And actions over words. He says, I'll do my best to make it up to you. And then she takes him back,
y'all, because here, we've said this before. The issue here is she is now
financially involved with this man. Yeah. And to go back would meaning to have to start over
financially. Yeah. And she's got to figure out her next move before she can cut this off.
Yeah. And she knows that which is what she had with her ex-boyfriend before.
Yeah. And it's so sad when she goes, okay. Yeah. It looks so defeated.
Um, he tries to kiss her. She moves away. And she says, you know, I decided to say because,
again, we think more because of the money, but also she said, I'm already in love with him.
She's like, yeah, this is different personality. It scares me. But
and I don't think I'll ever trust him again. And then I wrote, why are you here? Why are you with him?
To me, like, well, I think now she's a little complicit in the show. And I think now she has to
kind of go through with it. Um, I think it's all an action now, particularly what's happening
in the next episode. She's just, I think now she realizes, I'm going to get what I can get from
this fucker. Yeah. And get out. So they're watching some, I don't know how to pronounce this,
Morangi, Morangi fighting. It's, uh, you know, it's like kickboxing or without gloves though,
but Mark, what's it called MMA mixed martial arts? I don't think they do with no gloves. I don't
think so. No, I think the, the MMA, I don't think they wear gloves either. Really? Yeah, I hate
watching boxing. It's too violent for me. I can't. This was, I just, I don't, I don't,
it's starting to get porn and they're eventually going to bang or kiss at least. Yeah. Yeah.
I have a problem. I, I never liked it when people fought at school. Like when the hated it is,
I just hated it. Like, and there would go fight, fight. Other kids would run to it. And I'm like,
I think I'll go to the art room. I, I, I can't, I'm even getting the older I get. It's getting
harder for me to see just even violence on television. Yeah. I don't like it either. I don't know why
I used to not affect me as much, but it does more. I don't like it either. Like just, or people
beating other people. Yeah. I have a hard time with it. Yeah. Not. Yeah. Yeah. Now true crime that's
already solved. And is a different thing for me altogether. That's, yeah. Because I don't
have to wide. I don't like, I don't want to watch the violence happening. Yeah. I get it. I get it.
Uh, so yeah. So they're watching two people, uh, beat each other, uh, beat each other. And
Rick's like, she's warming up a little bit. And Trisha's like, look, this is scary. There's no
girl, but this is our culture. And it's how we do it. And Rick kind of jokingly says, well,
we should solve some of our problems in there. Uh, she beat the shit out of him. She, he says,
we could watch some fight and then do some wrestling. Uh, gross. Again, it's just young pussy
to him. And that's, oh, he's a blow up. Yep. It's so disgusting. I granted, if she had broken
up with him at the beginning of this trip, he would have gone on a dating app and found another
woman to fuck on the island. These guys are all the same. Remember that guy Ricky who had
was like, Hemenna, and he found another woman. Hemenna. He found another woman. Yeah.
Stuss disgusting. So anyway, just kind of like how I had bad sex earlier. And then I found
another guy that night. It's like how Vanya found Bojo, but that's different because she's a woman
so it makes it women can do whatever they want to men. True. Um, so anyway,
uh, she says, I can't forget all the things he's done, but he makes me smile. Fuck off.
So they're, they, they pick the fighter who's going to win. He's like, by pick it, who we have
six. And anyway, she said, she's the one who said you pick one. And if the one you pick,
we'll pick wins. We have sex tonight. That's my rule. Yeah. Turns out his guy wins. She says,
she's not gonna have a sex with him. And that's what I'm saying. This is an act. She's just going
to dangle the bait in front. She's dangling that Poonani and just going to string him along to get
that money. Dang, let Poonani. Hey, if you got it, I know it. Yeah. I've dangled you've dangled
that. Actually, I can't really dangle. I just give it away to you. He's dungled. He's dungled
that pussy. Insert slot. Oh, God. So, she's like, I still, she's like, you still want me to
meet your dad? And she's, she's like, well, I already told them you were coming. And I'm not
going to go back on my word. And she said, her father's protective. And, and I wrote down,
I think her father's going to see right through him. Yeah. Let's hope so anyway. Her father's also
going to be the same age. And, and y'all, this is right. So he's like, well, I know that her family
wants, you know, a guy who's more excited about kids and he's like, and probably a younger guy.
He's like, but I'm not that guy, but I really love her and I want this to work.
Yeah, I think he's going to tell that guy to his face that he doesn't want children.
I have a feeling. Yeah. Yeah.
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I think it's now time to just pop. Just sick. Dungle. Squish.
For puddles, we're all white caught in the big apple.
In the big apple. Well, in Brooklyn right now. On the great white way, which is,
well, it was white with snow. Now it's probably just muddy. Now it's gray.
Now it's the gray. Yeah. I want to talk about this. I only had time to see one thing.
And I think I mentioned, I may have mentioned in passing that I am quite a fan of the actress
Kerry Coon. I think listeners of the show have heard that from the Guilded Age and White Lotus
and leftovers that people always forget about. You loved that show. It wasn't the finale fantastic.
Oh my God. The first season was hard because it was establishing a show. Then as soon as we got
to season two, I was like, I promise you guys, if you want a quick binge, it's actually not quick.
It takes a little time. 20 episodes, isn't it? It's three seasons.
What an epic show. Unreal. You never watched it, right?
Oh, the world building that had to happen for that show. Anyway, Kerry Coon,
married to Tracy Letts, playwright who did Augusto Sage County, The Minutes,
and so Kerry Coon, you've seen a lot of, you have seen the meme of Kerry Coon saying,
I would not have been able to do this play on Broadway if I had not done the White Lotus or
Bertha Russell or all of this stuff because that's economically, that's not what Broadway is anymore.
Yeah, which is sad because YouTube Broadway's were actors were discovered.
Yeah. And so this is, it's a five-person play, but it's basically two.
And the show that I saw was, the play that I saw was Bug, which is an older Tracy Letts play.
They're not talking about that, but I know that because I remember when it was Stipple Wolf did it.
I remember hearing about it in the Aughts. And this is, it is a play about, kind of,
Kerry Coon plays Agnes, a kind of a down and out honky-tonk waitress in Oklahoma.
And most of Tracy Letts plays, take place in Oklahoma, where she's from. And it is,
she, her friend, RC, a woman who was in the military with a guy. His name is Peter.
And they, they meet him and this guy is already kind of strange energy. And, kind of,
basically, they, they meet and I, you think it's going to be Frankie and Johnny at the Clare de Lune,
kind of like people working through their trauma. And I actually liked the first act.
I was very close. I was 10 feet from Kerry Coon. I got a discount ticket and was on the first rope.
And especially in the last part of the first act, when they were both flat-up naked and
Kerry Coon has an amazing dairy heir. Oh, well, good. Not to be reductive of her. I love her
of everything. Oh, yeah. And quite nice boobies. Really? And they took our phones because we,
you know, so you didn't take pictures of her boobies. No, I would never do that. I know.
Um, so, but anyway, and I don't know the other actor in the, I was trying to see his dick,
but it was, it was, it was, that was, that was, that was an end table. Oh, do you know,
you never saw his dick? It was, it was formidable. Really? Yeah. But anyway, so the, the,
the play is about conspiracy theories are so cold, nervous. Not anymore. Not anymore.
They're all, yeah. They're all, I'm always hot. Um, I'm always there in like a t-shirt by,
by the end, everyone else's in their, like, I look like a menopausal woman. Um, you said it.
So it is, um, I'll just say this. I did not like the play. Um, I thought the play,
uh, she was, Kerry Coon was very good in the first act. Um, I understand why, I understand why
they're doing this play right now because with AI and all these, it's so easy for the plays about
conspiracy theories and all that. Yeah. People who get sucked in, they'll go down a rabbit hole.
And by the end, if you, you can see it through March 8th. And I'm going to say, if you are a big fan
of kind of thriller writing, there's a lot of kind of body horror elements that happen in act
two that I don't love watching on stage. Um, like the point people would, uh, like in the audience,
I don't love that necessarily on stage. There is a, there's a, there's a thing. Um, if you're a
Kerry Coon fanatic, I would say go. You have until March 8th, because that is the actual closing,
closing day. Um, but, uh, I did not like the play. Um, and not, uh, especially the second act.
And it was a thriller for sure. I also don't like seeing violence on stage. Um, even though it's
stage violence, uh, uh, unless it's like a Martin McDonough play where it's almost done for camp
or comedic effect. Yeah. The Pillaman or something like that or Lieutenant of Englishmore. Um, it,
I, yeah. She was great. Um, my verdict is see it if you're a Kerry Coon obsessive, skip it, um,
altogether. I know why she did this. She's Tracy Litz hasn't had a, um,
Tracy Litz her husband hasn't had a, uh, a big, uh, revival in a while. After since August 16th,
kind of the minutes did okay. Um, but she wants to keep his name in the, in the times, because all
of these playwrights, if you're not, if you don't have a commission or you don't have something on
Broadway, you're forgotten. Mm-hmm. That's what's happening today. So she's just like, I want to make
sure my husband who I love and respect still gets his name out there. Yeah. So I totally understand
why they did this play. Um, I, I totally agree that the only reason it's happening is because
Kerry Coon has had a good TV spate lately and that sucks because I'm going to say this, this,
this play is not good enough to be on Broadway. Oh wow. Something else could have been there. Um,
but that's, but that's where we are. So that's what I'm going to keep it real.
Yeah. Um, David Kromer directed who always does a great job. Some of the set stuff was pretty great
that happens because it all happens in a hotel room. And um, but it was, it's one of those plays
that feels claustrophobic, like even though, which I normally like, but by the end, I think it was,
it was also just, I was kind of, um, viscerally engaged for like two hours later. If you love
that feeling, go see it, but it wasn't in a good way. No. Yeah. Yeah. Even the next morning,
you were very much like, I hated it. Yeah. I hate it. To be fair, I hated the play. I did not like
it, but I liked the, her and um, Peter Nameer. I can't remember his last name. The other actor who
was a pro opposite of her. Um, uh, but, uh, loving, I don't know, but um, he, uh, he was fantastic.
And so was she, um, all step in wolf people as the supplemental or supporting cast, they did a
great job. All right. But that's the corner. I know you sang the ending song and then you kept
going. So it's confusing. It's like a reprieve. Always how I do it. All right.
At least in Joshua. Oh boy. Thank God. Thank God. Did she bring four bags at least three,
but I think she actually think she bought three large suitcases and then one small like a carry-on.
How long is she there for? I don't know. I mean, if you're going to Australia, she's probably
going to be there for 21 days. Like, like, like, tourist species. Yeah. You can't, you don't want to
do a quick trip. Yeah. So she got a tourist species. So she's, did your hip just pop like a granny?
Maybe. Okay. So she's packing. She's like, oh, I have my sleep, my red light sleep mask and
she's kind of spinning. She's like, I can't believe I'm going to do this. I, and again,
we already talked about she forces huge basket of bikinis. And then we have, this is a granny style
bikini. This is I'm not having sex with you bikini. Yes. Education through the bikinis.
This is game on bikini. Do you have those type of underwear? Yes. I've got my, I've got my
categories. I've got my coquettish jock strap, which says I will do everything but water sports.
Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. That's disgusting.
You got to be a coquett. You got to get a hold. You got to get a run. Why you keep fooling
little coquettish. You got to, you got to have some things you won't do. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Save something for the wedding night. So is it just really two categories like coquett and then raw?
Oh, raw is implied or piggy. Oh, piggy. I didn't know it. I didn't apply to. Okay. So you don't
really just have coquett and then the rest. Well, the others are things are things are suggestive
things that like more role play, more like I have one that's kind of looks like a prison jump suit.
Yeah. What do you wear when you, when you want to convey that you need the 56 Chevy to hit you on
the hip? I have one that was given to me by a friend. That is alien green.
Well, first of all, you and I are friends and we don't share underwear. A friend. Okay. There we are.
So he brought it to me. He brought it to you or he left it at his your house. He actually gave it to
me. Oh, wow. Yeah. He went. Well, he actually give it to me as much as saying, put it on, bitch,
I want to see you in it. Gross. Gross. Hit, helpful. Hit. No one gives you underwear unless they
actually want to see you right there. They want to give it to you. Take it off. Yeah. Oh, God. Okay.
You asked. I did. That's on me. That's on me, Sissy. Sorry. So yes, she said, and then she's like,
if I'm not having sex, you're going to get the underwear with holes. Now, she hasn't had great.
She hasn't had sex in six months, which as she says is the longest since high school.
Yeah. She's like, I want to try to take it slow, but God is so hot. But she said, but it's going to
be weird because his roommate's going to be there the whole fucking time. And she says, it feels like
I'm going into my trouble with the man in his 40s who lives with a roommate and are actually
lives with his parents. Put a pin in that. Yeah. So Julia, Lila is going to take her to the airport.
And this circus scene of them taking these circus encases down the stairs. Yeah.
Um, now she also says, I don't think you can drive a boat anymore after the work incident. Excuse
me. Turns out this guy did a a Paul Murdoch. And wrecked a boat. You know, the Murdoch's.
But I didn't know there was, I know the Murdoch's, but I know there was something about wrecking a boat.
Yeah. Paul, the son killed someone. Sure he just paid them off. Yeah. That's what happened.
Wow. All in South Carolina, South Kaka Laki. Wow.
Anyway, pulled. Okay. So y'all, but no one was harmed. Yes, because he's a he's a yacht broker.
This is my job. He's just banged yacht girls. Yeah. Um, and yeah, he took it out.
There is a big yacht culture in Sydney to be fair to be fair, but he's a yacht broker,
which basically just means he probably helps people find yachts to. This is the same thing with
guys who sell luxury cars. Exactly. It's same thing in Miami. That is a great analogy.
Well, he took a boat yacht for a boat drive, a joy ride and crashed it.
Some rocks. So he like got ridden up. He didn't lose his job, but she's worried he will.
He has a final warning with his boss. So she's saying this, Yulia, Yulia is like,
I don't think this guy's responsible. But I like him. I'm really sorry to fall for it.
I'm really sorry because it's just hot. Yeah, that's it. I'll be fair. He's hot. He's really hot.
I won't say though. He's hot, but he skips leg day. I don't know if you saw his little tiny legs.
Little tiny legs. Well, so everything's going well. Cut to she drops her off. Cut to 20 minutes later.
There's a selfie of Elise looking like she's about to just in a panic attack because
their visa has not been approved. And I love it's eight times eight times eight times. And I'm
going to have a panic attack. She's like, I put my heart and soul. What's happening? What's
happening? Oh, it's good. It worked. Oh, it turns out I put my first name as my last.
Didn't match my passport. Did you hear her say, oh, my God,
to the guy is like, oh, my God, I would give you my number if I wasn't going to
me to love my love. This is what's great about Elise. Elise shares so much like when she lands
and the guy goes, pretty late. She said, thank you. I hope my husband that I've never met
in that too. It is silver energy. It is silver energy. But I want to
shirt that's a silver energy and sludder. And it is just and y'all don't get me wrong. I am
never saying sludding in a bad way. No, but it's just it's so it's so aggressive. I've it's
she is again, she is this like hypersexual flightless bird. Just an e-moo going through the airport
that's the slutty e-moo. Yeah. I love her. I love her too. I love her. And so she says,
and she 28 hours earlier we see and we see Joshua and we see out the window. His friend Chris
goes, hi, dickhead. Hi, dickhead. And so you see him, we meet Chris, his friend, his they
roommate. They both have very crypto haircuts. Don't you think? Yeah. And so Josh, he gets in
any in there in their rental he's like, we're getting organized and all that. And then
Joshua says, you know, I'm a little nervous and Chris says, he looks like you're shitting yourself.
And he's like, yeah, I'm just so nervous. And then I don't know if you noticed or if you're
strainer did this, my computer's been acting up. It has.
Mine, Chris says, mate, you want to give me you want me to give you a back massage?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw this too. It kind of went scratchy. And Chris says, yeah.
And then yeah, mate, that'd be great. Chris is like, that'd be great. And he's like, so he starts,
Chris starts rubbing. Yeah. And Josh was like, could you give it to me, Alda? Yeah.
What's that word? Alda. I don't know what that means. Harder.
That was my Australian accent. They don't drop the age, but sure. That's what I said.
Alda. Okay. He's me elbow.
And then and then did in your event did he was really laying in with a massage. And then suddenly
his dick popped out. It's just Chris's massive erect, Austin dick, just started poking
Joshua in the back and uncut member. And because it's okay. He said, oh, your massage
with me with your dick, man. And he's like, I like your massage oil. But it's just his wet dick,
because you know, uncut dick. It's already, well, it's already, it's, it's already, um, it's already
leaking. Oh, yeah. It's my favorite. Yeah. Truly. It's a leaky, you don't want to fix. No, no.
So he paints his back with his pre-com. Yes.
Yes.
In fact, please have been, please have been in the Chick-fil-A line. Yes. Please have been painted with
pre-com. Um, a sissy told you do say that sissy who said that her, her, either her grandmother,
her aunt wanted to watch mass. Oh, yeah. This is a great story. And she's like, I want to
want to watch literally mass, mass on her computer, because they were snowed in.
And she just went to the worship. She just went one bread, one pudding, and turns out for some
reason, aunt or grandma, whoever turned on reality gays. And the woman had a cane and she never
moved so much faster out of that room. She can't walk, but she watched five minutes and she
came. And she was forever changed like your husband after a reality gays show. Yeah. Yeah.
We saw a sissy in the wild yesterday. We did Hannah. Hannah. Sissy Hannah was at the ambies.
And she watched us. She watched us lose. And then she left like a good sissy would. She lived
after it. Hannah, we saw Brooke in Williamsburg. Yes. And then and I saw Sissy at Greece crisis.
Because that's where y'all go. Yeah. And I feel I'm I'm blanking on her name. That we how dare you. I know.
I know. I'm blanking learning. She knows me. It's me. It's me. I'm forget. Um, yes. And so then
painted his back and then who knew? Uh, then Joshua just put some veggie might on his dick. Yeah.
And Chris just slurped it up like a hungry, um, like a hungry. Uh, yeah. Yes.
Koala because they, you know, with the teeth. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then they both came. Yeah.
And then I and then I and then I somehow passed out and woke up in a pool of my own filth.
Truly. I woke up and I was chewing on a piece of eucalyptus. There you go. I don't know how I got my
mouth. And you were up a tree. Yeah. You're pouch full of semen.
Painted with pre-con. Painted with pre-con.
Volume one. Boy, that's a movie. Make that. Oh, in hopes of a hopes of a
Jacqueline some minutes to the ambies next time. So they're going to the Melbourne Cup race.
The Melbourne Cup. And, uh, which is the big horse race. And they're going to whisk her off the
plane because she's spontaneous and she'll love it. And, and it's like they're going together.
Elise knows none of this. But Josh was like, he's testing. I cannot believe they brought Chris
there. Well, he says because he says she said she's always a fly by the fly by the seat of her
pants, type of girl. And he wants to see if she could roll with it. 30 hours. 30 hour flight.
Yeah. I would be
livid. And so, you know, they're talking about their inner circle. It's like if she has a
problem, it'll be with Nick. And I went,
pick it apart. Excuse me. Who's that? Just that. Now, we find him. Chris says, my friend,
Nat is very special. I've been living with her for three months.
I have a feeling that is probably quite attractive. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
And I can't wait till Elise beats her. So he told her, and the producer says,
you talk to your parents, and are you living with your parents? And he goes, no, no.
Yeah. So he's nervous. So Joshua's holding his hand. Yeah. Still got a little
lube on it from when they were together. And then we're off way. We're off way there, as you say.
Holds it in the car. Then they get out of car. And they hold the hands again. Y'all,
they're just gay baiting for an only fan's thing though. In my experience, Australian men
behave this way. It's kind of a joke, especially Sydney men. I agree. Now, I don't know,
I've seen some, weirdly, when I've been traveling, I've met a lot of straight Australians.
And they are so chummy, chummy. Like, even though they know I'm gay, and they wouldn't know
everything about it. What would you do? And they're like, Liam Hemsworth just held your hand.
And they, oh, God. And they will be like, they'll be buddy, buddy, and touch you with each other.
Yeah. I need to get down under. And once, and I think it's a difference also between rural Australia
and kind of more places like Melbourne or Sydney, where everyone is just like good times with
their mates. Yeah. But it's weird. In my travels, where I usually have been traveling alone,
you meet a lot of, and they're more than willing to talk, of straight Australian men,
usually two or three traveling together. And they're always willing to talk. They'll
usually approach you. And they're just the best time. And they're always hot.
And of course, I have a fantasy about getting with them.
Has that worked yet? But they always want to get my Instagram and let them follow me after that.
Sure, Jan. It happens. It's okay. I want to check out your podcast.
If they ever had Joshua at an event, and we would watch out, you would be disgusting.
Yeah. And Elise would love it. She would want you to just, oh my God.
I want you to flirt with my boyfriend. Yeah. Oh, she would do a suck my boyfriend's dick.
She would tell me how much you want to suck my boyfriend's dick. That's, oh, that's great.
I love it. The top. When I do, Elise, I do like a David Putty face from Seinfeld.
Oh, it's like, it's like this. It kind of looks like this. I don't know who that is.
Sure. That's fine. That's Elaine's boyfriend, the guy who kind of the guy that's like does all
the voice for the cartoon people. Yeah, family guy. He was on, yeah. Yeah. American dad. Yeah.
Um, now that shows canceled, I believe. Great. So, uh, Josh Rubin says my life is a bit of a mess right
now. And hopefully she can see how much I care for her. And then, um, so they see, uh, now,
would you like it when, uh, you already said the guy's like, beautiful, lighty?
Yes, the dogs. She's like, yeah, that way, that's it. And so she's like, I've so many emotions.
I saw him. So she's already checked his social media and he's already posted him and Chris
in his suit. The fact that she is checked his social media. Well, she probably was on a plane
and had a internet like, yeah, that's not that great, but it is crazy.
I checked their social media and they're already a student. They're coming here.
So she starts to spiral. She's like, the roommate, the job is, I'm worried I'm letting
my parents 39 in a roommate. I'm thinking all what my parents are true. And I can't be wrong
this time. Good. She says, I've done damage to myself and to my family. She's like, I don't
have another wrong in me. I love that. That's a great line. I got to say, she's so good at
creating stakes. I yeah, she's so good at this y'all. Oh, yeah, she's one. Enjoy this time.
This is a pro at work. It really is. She did not know how good this she was. Mm-hmm. She's
good at this. She's wonderful. And so anyway, y'all, she comes through with all the suitcases.
They're hugging and he's like, and she says, you're so sexy. He's like, so are you immediate
smash kissing. Yeah, they're she's going to she keeps talking. She said she was going to weigh.
I don't know. Then she's like, at least said, I didn't want to say him looking with me like him
into the breast. She's like, is that an oxymoron? Isn't that what that is? What does an oxymoron mean?
He looks good. I look slummy. And then she says it looks like I feel like I've known him for years.
They're talking about going to the Melbourne Cup and having a few drinks. She feels comfortable.
Yeah. But she says, I just need a shower. And y'all, and he said, you know, he's like, I know it's
bad time. I'm going to have to a few tequelas. You wake up. That's getting better. Good.
I wasn't even trying. Maybe that's the part. I don't think you don't need to try. Maybe that's it.
Um, anyway, she kind of looks at him like, okay. And y'all, what a fucking trooper. Y'all,
and this bitch tells she just looks at me. She says, okay, grab a suitcase and each of them
grab a suitcase. And we have these organized. No, we have a fucking outfit party. We have a 90s,
the middle of the city's apartment. And she did everything, but rock, walk, a catwalk.
Yeah. And that's where we get like where she wants to look slutty or and she doesn't want a burrow
bra underwear. And she ends up, she goes to the bathroom. She's fixing her hair and doing this.
She comes out looking fucking banging. Her body is unreal. Yeah. And she says, I hope Josh
was. He's how much effort I'm putting in our chemistry is there. And I'm just going to try
to make the best of it. And then on the way out, she's like, I'm not even going to work, guys.
Yeah, because it's blowing. I think they blurred it. Yeah. Oh, you flightless bird.
Never leave me. She's like, I can't believe I'm getting ready in a bathroom. Again,
silver energy. Yeah. What a star. That's the show. That's the show, y'all. That's it.
We're done in New York. New York. We're leaving. Spread the news. Still here. I'm still here.
Why are you still here? Honestly, at this point with all this weather, I would change my
flight, but there's no way I'll get another flight out. I think you're probably right. You're
fucked. No, I'm good. Try, but I don't think you know, there's no way I would be. I would love
to be able to go home tomorrow night. I swear to God, if I don't get upgraded,
because I've done a certificate and everything. I kind of sound like Mr. Monopoly when I talk
like that. Yeah. That's the show, everyone. Thank you so much for watching. If you're watching
on YouTube or on the 15 yard tier of RG+. Oh, and thank you for listening. If you're listening,
remember supporting our show. A wonderful way to do that is to support our sponsors. Again,
and be nominated. It's denon or just to be nominated, but can you believe me saying that
was a straight face? Yeah, no, it actually is. It actually is because we were up against
Cone no Bryant, John Stewart, Rachel Dress. Also, we did not go out well. Paul Brunson and
that divina show bit again, again, it's a huge show in England in the UK. Apparently,
she's like a really hilarious, well-known comedian. Actually, it's all about work. That was
funny. It's all it was. It's all about women in their 40s kind of starting life again. That's great.
Yeah. It's a great podcast, and we know the woman that produced it in transparency,
and she's a fantastic human being. Anyway, but doesn't fucking matter because we didn't win.
But you all support our sponsors that do support us and enable us. We both had a moment,
even before the awards. I just was like, can you believe this is all come from this?
I know it's surreal. Thank you to our sponsors. We're very grateful.
Yes. Thank your sponsors to enabling that to happen. Appreciate them very much.
Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify wherever you listen. We appreciate that very much.
If you don't want to listen to the ads, you can jump on the all audio tier on RG Plus.
It's available on apples of descriptions on patreon.com slash reality gays or on supercasts,
which is realitygays.supercast.com. And with that, we leave you. But as we always say,
we call these people lonely hearts because aren't we all just lonely hearts looking for love
in all the wrong places? Yes. And if you've ever had your back painted with pre-come.
Been there. Been there. With an uncircumseized penis that's almost like kind of
dabbling, dabbing you with the with the with the it's almost like using the
foreskin Jackson Pollock. Yes. Just like it's all the rightful pre-com put it on my back and
sticking in my ass. Yeah, call us. Call us.
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Reality Gays with Mattie and Poodle



