Andy Daly Returns

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1:00Do you know that there's a victim of identity theft every 2 seconds? Yeah. It makes it the number 1 crime in America now. Oh, wow. Yep. Number 1 crime. Lifelog detects threats to your identity. Alerts when something looks suspicious. And if identity theft happens, they fix it, guarantee. Does this scary thing these days? It is. Someone could take your identity and God knows what, you know? Yeah. Money, take all your hair products, everything. With Lifelog's million dollar... Hey, that's your product. You should get some. And with Lifelog's million dollar protection package, you'll have help covering stolen funds, personal expenses and lost wages from identity theft. I'm trying to sell my identity. No one wants it. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelog.com slashconon and that's lifelog.com slashconon to save 30% terms apply. Hi, my name is Andy Daling and I feel... At peace about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Well, I got news for you, shouldn't I?

2:01Really? Because I'm going to rock your world today. You're going to leave here a show. Yeah, I know. I already feel that. Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend. Sona is not with us today. She's on an extended vacation. I think it's gone on quite a long time, but she's in Hawaii. She's having a great time. Of course, not me here, holding down the fort while she galavants and probably promotes her new book, which she'll be talking about soon here on the podcast. But I am sitting here with Matt Gourley, no vacation for you. Yeah. You can't go on vacation. Why not? Well, because you have a new born. Yeah. Well, pretty new born. Six months now. Almost six months. Oh, by the time this comes out. Six months, yeah.

3:02Okay. Yeah. And we will have already gone on vacation by the time this comes out. Where do you go? Sona went to Hawaii. Where are you going to go? We're going to Carpentrier, which is beautiful. Carpentrier, California. I spend a lot of time up there. I love it. I love it too. It is gorgeous. Wonderful people. Chill vibe. David, you're never to go on your, David, hopping is filling in for Sona. David, you were never to go on vacation. You know that it's in your contract. You know, I don't know why I didn't read the contract. Where would you go? Well, you can't read, David. That's one of the reasons. But I knew I should learn. Yeah. It is still time. Yeah. And I've been all over the place traveling a lot. The Mick Jagger interview, which was just such a bucket list thing for me, came out a couple of weeks ago. And I was so happy about that. And I went to London for that. Because when one has a chance to interview Mick Jagger, you go to the mountain. You go to Mick Jagger. And so I went there and I was really envying one thing about London. What's that? Walking around and I was noticing that people dress like adults.

4:04And you know, people were wearing jackets and it was starting to heat up a little bit. It wasn't too hot yet. But I've been to London another time of the year where it's chilly, it's crisp air. People wearing p-coats. People were dressed like James Bond and a James Bond. I know. The guys dress up. The women look great. People are wearing clothing. We align on this. Yes. And then I come back to LA and I'm going to say it right now. I'm looking around the room looking at you first of all. You look like your mom just dressed you for summer camp. I'm wearing a T-shirt. You have a Han Solo jacket on. Yeah. At least I have that. No, I'm trying to put on some kind of clothes because I don't want to just walk around. I mean, here you could bump into, I don't care what station of life they're in. The T-shirt is just wearing jeans and a T-shirt and big puffy sneakers. And then you ask them, you don't have a... Did you wear your big puffy sneakers?

5:05I don't want to bring them up here. They're too big first of all to give you up. Okay, but sneakers in general and I just think I don't want to spend my days like this. And so I'm starting to think that maybe I should just start wearing suits around. It's just ridiculous. It just looks ridiculous. Too hot. It's not just the heat. It's something else. It just, but that, even if you want it to. Forget the heat. Forget the heat for a second because yes, it's going to be hot for a couple of months in the summer. But most of the year, it's 72 degrees here. You can wear a light suit, can't you? Why aren't we doing that? Why aren't we dressing like adults? Whoa. Take it easy. I feel like I act like a child because I'm dressed like a child. Wait a minute. In New York, I act like a child as well. Okay. Scratch that. I do want to start wearing a pea coat and I want to walk around and I want to meet people for a gin cocktail. You know it? It's like five o'clock in the afternoon. Right?

6:05Well, you're an angle file. You like all this stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I know. But don't you, I mean, I know you're a bon-finatic. Wouldn't you like to dress a little better than you do? 100%. I want to wear a sweater any day of the week, but you can't here. You just can't. You're an irritable one. I'm hot and I can't do it. So we're seeing you and you're not irritable. Hey, fuck you, man. Okay. All right. Well, I'm glad I'm getting Mr. Sunshine here. I think if I could offer a different opinion about why people dress like they do in L.A. I think a lot of people in L.A. are very concerned about their appearance and they work out a lot. So I think they want to show off their hot bodies. Oh, really? Yes. I think that people are wearing a lot of tank tops. They wear a lot of shorts because they want to show off their glutes and their pants. I'm not sure that's it. I'm not sure that's it. I will tell you this. When we, I did the show for many years in New York, Rock Fowler Center with Jeff Ross, he wore a suit every day. And then we came out here and he was still the producer of our show. And the next thing I know, you know, he's wearing garanimals. You know, garanimals. Do you know what I mean?

7:06He's, you know, and he's, he's got those sneakers that don't have laces that are worn. You're going to bring those. Well, it just drove me crazy. You know what I mean? This guy fought in the Korean war. And I'm just wondering what the fuck happened? The minute we got here, he was here like 10 minutes and all adult clothing went away. And he was writing home letters to his parents saying we went on a canoe trip today. And I'm like, what happened to us? If you had it your way, would you be in a bull or hat? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not a bull or hat. You just need like a, a peak coat and maybe some boots. Yeah, or just, I mean, you can get a lighter suit. I just don't know what's wrong with me. I am, you know, of an age. I agree. I agree. And I think that sometimes the clothes inform your attitude and maybe, you know, I'm a guy with grown children and I'm still walking around, you know, dressed like I work at a bowling alley. What are we doing? What are we doing? What are we doing? Change starts with you, you know, that's what they told me.

8:08Yeah, that class I told you. We do like a team cocoa like shopping trip where we all buy a moment of the market to the show. I think we just, we make Jeff Ross. Or should we just work with that? This isn't about me. I'm realizing now this is about Jeff Ross. You should be like an extreme makeover situation. I just think it's time that we started, you know, what happened to that? What did we, you know, and, and play, I'm sorry, but, you know, you say it's all about our bodies, but you don't have to wear a hoof-hearted t-shirt. Yeah, a pleasant, first of all, to defend myself here. Defend yourself. Go to youtube.com slash team cocoa. And look at every rehearsal video you were in, which is you wore the same Guinness t-shirt for like 25 years. I know. I know. And you know what? That was just because I think Guinness is an amazing product. Okay. If they want to send me some free Guinness, that's their business. I think for an amazing, free Guinness product. But what are, that's not the reason I'm saying anything about Guinness. For a certain reason. But can I just point out the fact if you look at like all the billionaires, like look at Bezos, this guy's just wearing a t-shirt and like none of the, none of the richest

9:09people in the world are dressed up. That's my, that's my point. That's my point. The tech bros are, so maybe everyone is dressed up as one of the tech bros. This makes me, and I think the tech bros, I have no problem with them having most of the world's money and spending it eating bald eagles. That's their matter. That's their concern. You got to let the free market do its thing. Okay. But when they walk around and they're wearing these gap t-shirts and short cargo shorts, I think they're letting the side down. The West has been casual Friday. Yes. The entire Western civilization has been casual Friday. And I think we need to pull it back. And maybe this starts to lead to better behavior. Maybe there will be more consideration for others. Maybe people will start to have better manners. I mean, this might inform, and I'm not talking about, you know, you don't have to be, spend a lot of money to change the style of dress a little bit, you know? I mean, maybe people accuse me of being in a bubble, but I don't think a produsude could

10:10cause that much and everyone should have one. Just kidding. That was a fun joke for me. I enjoyed it. You see, I said I'm not in a bubble and then what I did is reveal that I am in a bubble. But no, yes, play. I completely agree. I think, you know what? I think if you, I think if you look good, you feel good. Oh, okay, that's crazy. I don't believe that at all. But it's just to start with you. If you want to see the, you got to be the world change. You want to see it. You have to be, and then glad you brought this up. I was talking to Oprah the other day. And she said, Conan, you need to be the change you want to see. And I said, okay, maybe I'll use that on the pod. So on a day like today where it's 90 degrees, you would wear a, your coat focused about the weather. I'm just saying you can't tell it. I am telling you. Yes, you can. You just sweat a lot. I'm that serious about it. I want to get a big long, tweed coat. I'll get him with this one. That doctor who might wear it. Oh, yeah. Not a doctor who, guys. Oh, wow. Discerning.

11:10I'm sorry. I'm going to discerning consumer of bulls and shittery for me. He traveled in a phone booth. Anyway, it's a tardis, dude. What's that? It's a tardis. It's not a phone booth. It's a tardis. Isn't it a phone booth? Quips to him. No, it's in the, it looks like a phone booth. This is angry. It's bigger on the inside than the outside. Here is angry as someone would be in like a drive-by shooting. Yeah. I'm sorry, babe, because I misidentified the phone booth that the goofy science fiction doctor gets into. It's a tardis. Please wrap. I'm going to wrap this up. He wears a suit, by the way. Doctor, who wears a suit? Interesting. Yeah. I, what I need to do, I guess, is start dressing like I'm James Joyce. It's 1915. I live in Dublin and it's January. And I need to start doing that near the Mexican border. OK. And I need to do that. I just need to own that and do it. Yeah. And so I need to do it. OK. And I will do it. Well, I look forward to that next time I record you becoming in sweating. Yeah.

12:11OK. I will. All right, let's get into this. My guest today is an actor and comedian who hosts the Andy Daley podcast project, which is available exclusively on his Patreon. I'm going to need to make something clear. I think pound for pound, you can't be funnier than Andy Daley. I just adore the man and he's been involved in so many of my projects over the years. And he's been in so many great iconic television series. And he makes me really happy. Thrilled he's here. Andy Daley. Welcome. I'm going to start very quickly by telling you that here it comes. First of all, I was shocked when the Daily Show first came on. He sued the Daily Show. He said that they had stolen his name. Well, they did. No, we put an eye in it to make it sound like it's a show that's happening every day. It was a show that happened every day and still is. I thought that was one of the most craven things you've ever done. And he's one. Because I said they don't want he got six million dollars.

13:11Yeah. And he's been pretty much living off of it. He's also sued like one day, Daily supplement. Yes, brand. Oh, yes. That's right. Most supplement brands can't aren't safe anymore because so much money has to be that would normally go into research and development. Go to Andy Daley. Yeah. It's terrible what you've done. It's not terrible because people, I don't want people to think that I'm responsible for those vitamins. There's nothing to do with them. Okay. But it's spelled differently. And if I want to come out with my line of my own line of vitamins, which I'm very well might daily daily daily daily daily daily daily daily daily. Yeah. I can't have it confused with everything else on the market. It's fair. I'm going to make perfect sense. I'm going to make it clear right now. Andy Daley is one of my favorite people. You're you're. Stop. I'm going to say no. Just a little more. No. Very funny. No. Stop. You like a pack mule on my different late night shows over the years to do really funny things. Okay. Just a compliment. Not a compliment. Also, listen, no, but like a pack mule, were you funny?

14:12No, but you can carry very heavy loads in very dry temperatures for a long time. At very narrow canyon in clients. I was concerned coming in here that you were going to pay me too many compliments. No, no, no, no, that's it. Oh, Karen. But you know, every time you're on something, whether it's Silicon Valley, Veepe, Modern Family, Blackish, you show up in so many great comedies. You're always excellent. Now that's it for the nice stuff. Now we get into the real stuff. Because you know what happened last time I was here, you paid me so many compliments and I was just basking in them. Like really enjoying them. It was a great moment for me. And then at the end of it, you said, and is there anything you'd like to say back to me? It was like, and you had nothing. I had. I really had a work. Yeah. No, you remember I went back and listened to that. Nothing. Because I've asked many guests. I mean, I just. Yeah. And I listened to Mick Jagger for an hour. I know. And I listened back to it 40 minutes of the interview with Mick Jagger is me demanding to know what he thinks about me. Okay. And it wasn't good. Do you know I listened to his interview with the New York Times? And I think he kind of sub tweeted you because somehow they got onto the topic of comedians.

15:15Yeah. And he said, you know, there's subcompetence who are just always on. They can't stop. He said, he didn't mention you by name, Conan. And you sure you were talking to Mick Jagger or was that an old British semen in 1780? He's proving Jagger's point. Do I need to work on my Jagger impression? That's literally the first time we've ever tried to impersonate Mick Jagger. I thought I was in the room with him again. I really did. Oh, I got a tell you something. Right. It's supposed to have an in-n-oif, the traveling in-oif for me. Oh, by me? No, I'm just sort of taken aback by by your anyone but Jagger impression just now. That was my Jagger. Oh, it was. And I just talked to him. I had it wrong. For an hour. That's not a humble brag. That's just a brag. Shut up, Conan, talking to himself. Well, it could have been more than an hour. Oh, Shazbott. Oh. Mark's back. Yeah. Let me tell you something. All right. You're funny. You're fast. You're a chameleon. But who are you really? I've known you many years and you know what? There's no one in there. That's a good question. Yeah. Because we're friends.

16:16Yeah. And I don't know if I know you. Well, exactly. You're friends with Gourley? Yeah, Gourley and I are buddies. Aim higher. You're a thing. I'll go on all cosine on that. You could do better. And Eulia Cousin was a great director. But that was Eulia Cousin is what I gave him right there. And I think that was worth going back for. Yeah. Well, I love a joke that you first have to give a preamble lecture on who and what the subject did. Of course. Maybe people, many people don't like him because he ratted out some other artists during the blacklisting. But anyway, I saw you self-added. That's going to hurt the ultimate punch. But if I take a digression into the blacklist, there's always something. Again, back to this theme. Andy Daley is the comedy pack meal. You're so good at, again, carrying dry goods, beef jerky through desert climbs, but also your shape shifter. You're always funny. You're an always funny fellow. You know, I did once. I was once offered a role in something that wasn't much on the page and my agent told

17:16me like, but this, this is what you're good at when there's like not much on the page. You can really bring something. And I thought that's a bad reputation to have. Like offer me parts that are poorly written or underwritten or just no good at all. Yeah. And this guy can do something with it. So you'll really end up in bad. Yeah. A lot of times they just send you blank pages. And then sometimes if it's a commercial, they just ask you to make up the product and then they'll go make it. I don't know. We don't know what to make yet. It's not a daily. Oh, come up with something with Quizzle gum. You get a spasile of a Quizzle Dizzle bezel basil. Okay. Let's make it. Sounds fantastic. Andy, can I call you Andy? Yeah. Okay. Andrew, you, I like that better. You, uh, you and I have known each other for how many years would you say it's been 30 years that we've been working together? It feels like 50, but I would say probably 1996 is when we first got in the world. And um, we have some things in common.

18:18Okay. I know you're an animal lover. Oh, yeah. Do you have a dog? I have two dogs. Really? See, we're going to have a good podcast interview. It's great. I think we got it. Do we got it? Are we done? Let's wrap. Well, this has been Andy Daley. Wait, speaking of things we haven't common. Yeah. I was recently misrecognized as you at Traitor Joe. Yeah. I'm like, God. Yes. They gentleman walked toward me looking like he knew who I was, like we were friends or some of them. And you were like, here we go. You got out your autograph pen. Exactly. And because no one walks an autograph anymore. And then as we got closer, he disengaged and smiled and said, I thought you were Conan O'Brien. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Wow. I thought I did nothing to earn that insult. Oh, hey. That's terrible. I welcomed you into the bosom of my bosom. And you. You called him a pack mule. No, that's a compliment. That's a compliment. When you're done with the pack mule, you shoot it and leave it for dead. Yeah. Yeah. Trust me, when this interview's over, I'm putting one right between his eyes and then

19:19we're moving on. Yeah, but I did explain to him. I did say he's really the first thing you notice about Conan is how tall he is, just FYI. If you're out there in the world looking for Conan, rule out anybody of like a normal human. That's why I mean, people who know that often think I'm Jane Lynch. That happens a lot too. I mean, I get, I occasionally get misidentified, but not often. Mostly people just know it's me or they know, I know he's famous for something and I love it when people say, you want those movie stars? I say, oh, no, no, I am not a movie star. Not at all. You couldn't be more wrong. Would you say if somebody says, hey, are you famous? You could say back if you have to ask the answer is no. Right. But then they might get offended. Yeah, I know. They might think I'm being snarky. That's why I say nothing. I turn around and walk in the other direction. Well, that's really rude. Well, then I don't know what to do. Um, it just puzzles me. Well, I got to keep this going now.

20:19Listen, you, um, I just suddenly realized that I have nothing to live for. Oh, my God. But wait, it's coming. That sometimes just comes on me and I just have to wait it out. Hold on a second. How long does it usually take? This could be hours. Oh, dear. No, it's gone. I think I'm good now. Okay. How did you feel during that? Were you worried for me at all? Or you just thought I can go? Oh, I'm good. For a second, did you think I'm going to stop and talk to Conan and help out? No, not at all. No, I just, I was just completely thinking about myself. You have two dogs. I have two dogs. Oh, yeah. I heard that you got a dog when you quit drinking. Is that true? Oh, yeah, that's about right. Well, let's share. What was the thinking there? Um, well, I got a dog to have someone to drink with. I've had seven golden retrievers die of cirrhosis of the liver. Yeah. But when does Harry comment in the breed? I don't blame yourself. What, uh, so what was the thinking there?

21:21It was more that I kind of realized, I guess I was sort of had more time on my hands. I was a little bit bored, but also I felt like I'm not going to screw it up. Like I can take on some extra responsibilities. Okay. Now that I'm sort of not, uh, um, um, imbibing. Yeah. And sort of, you know, having a being a black out drunk three days a week or so. Oh, yeah. Okay. I did not know that. How long ago did you make this switch? Did you get sober? One T four years ago. Oh, good for you. Yeah. Especially for a sponsor when he met you. It lines up exactly actually. Wow. Yeah. Um, both that's an incredible achievement. Oh, thank you. Yeah. One hour. I eat a lot of chocolate. That's okay. I just replaced the one with the other. Yeah. Yeah. No. Uh, thank you. Yes. I'm just going to get sober or it was more of those things where, um, because I find that my animals, we have two dogs and three cats and there's just animals everywhere.

22:25And I love it. I just love, cause as you know, I'm very tactile. So I just like to grab a golden retriever and wrestle with them on the floor. Yes. Me too. I, you might not guess that about me, but when I wrestle with the dogs, and I bite my dogs, I bite them all the time. Oh, I'm constantly biting my dogs. Can your dogs and put out a complaint? Be great if you took your dogs and they say this dog has human rabies. Remember that time you did a bat and the bat got rabies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every time he brings it up, what part of their body do you bite? Like their faces? Oh, wow. I'm just constantly. I, um, they love it. We can't get enough of it. I do a crazy thing for years. I would see my golden and I would wrestle them on the ground. And sometimes I would yell at the dog, you shot my president and wrestle him and wrestle him to the ground. Like he was in a saline and people would hear me do that and go, what the fuck is wrong with you? And I just thought it was so, and another thing I would do is it's really funny to, I

23:27would point at my dog and go, embezzler and they make this guilty face. Like I know you've been stealing funds and just the idea of a golden being caught embezzling. It could take some finesse for a golden, you know, to, to get into your books and manipulate money. But they could do it. They could do it. I often will get one of my dogs like we're down on the ground and I'll just get face-to-face with her and I'll say, come away with me. The others don't understand us. They don't understand what we have. And you have two dogs. Yeah. How does the other dog feel when you say to that dog, come away with me? The others don't understand. Visibly happy to be off the, yeah, out of my sights at that moment. It's like, it'll be me next time. I think my dogs understand how comedically needy I am. And so they are, and, and golden's are bred to absorb all of your stuff. And I think when I leave, they just, a pog goes across their forehead like, much, you off to my god. Oh my god. 75 bits this morning. One of our dogs is a golden retriever.

24:28Yes. Yeah, they're great. They're great. And I don't mind the hair all over the place. You know, people get all these doodles now. They're hypoallergenic. Not me. No. No, I like dogs. It'll make me really sick. I was just thinking this morning, I, I wouldn't like it if when I reach into my drawer to get a new, an article of clothing to put on for the day. If it doesn't, at that point have dog hair on. Yeah. That's my only. That's my comes out of the dryer with dog hair. No, but just in the process of folding it and all that. There's hair everywhere. Everywhere. If you come visit me at my house, which will never happen, you open the door and just golden hair, comes pouring out onto anyone who comes to see us. Yeah, I don't mind that if I wear it for two seconds, it'll be covered in hair. But if I can take it out of the drawer, not hairy. No, this is why I primarily buy clothes that are golden. Oh, that's what I'm saying. That's why our house is painted gold and all gold rugs. Beautiful. It's very trumpy, but for different reasons. Trump came by and he was like, this is pretty good. Anyway, it's for the golden. He's like, okay, I get it. He drops in all the time.

25:29He drops in all the time. He's like, so that's just a long day. I'm going to fight the champ. He's that's what Trump said to me. I'm going to fight the champ. I got to do what I got to do. I got to do what I got to do. Blay, quick question. How old are you? I'm 47 years old. Ah, well, this message is for men 50 and older. So stand down. Are you making constant trips to the bathroom to pee, struggling with weak flow or waking up all nights to go? I don't know what they're talking about. But anyway, these are common symptoms of BPH or enlarged prostate. People think it's just part of aging, but it can really impact your sleep, energy, and quality of life. Now, trust me, I get it. Talking about prostate health can feel uncomfortable, but I love making people uncomfortable. It's safe, effective, non-surgical treatment options. They do exist. Itin is a minimally invasive procedure designed to reshape prostate tissue and relieve symptoms with no cutting or permanent implants. Itin procedures typically done in an office or outpatient setting, quick recovery.

26:34It can allow you to stop your prostate meds. So take back your nights and your daily life. If you were someone you love is experiencing symptoms of BPH, do not wait. Talk to a urologist or visit itin.com to learn more about whether the itin procedure could be right for you. ITIND.com Implantation of the itin's device may cause pelvic discomfort, blood and urine, pain fuller, urgent urination. In rare cases, the itin device may cause urinary tract infection or sudden difficulty to urinate. There was a moment in the football season last year. It just blew me away. Remember that play? Incredible. The one with the ball. Through the ball up in the air. You didn't end that catch, and then the run was crazy. That was awesome. I know exactly what you're talking about. I think everyone does. So cool. Because it ended in a triumph. Well, no matter what triumphs during the story of the season, legendary game days start with a Miller Lite. They sure do. Miller Lite is a true American Pillsner and the original Lite beer brewed since 1975. I remember the last season I was sitting around with my bros, my bro heems, I call them

27:37the bros squad. The jock squad. The jock squad. You got your Greg Daniels, Rob Lusabnik, Robyn Flander. We were sitting around. We're shirtless. And we were like, this game day is legendary. We all said that at the same time now. And then we all said, Jinx, owe me a Miller Lite. And it's a good thing I had some. Make game day legendary. Go to merrolike.com slash current defined delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Game time is Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee Wisconsin 96 calories and two car was per 12 ounces. This is an advertisement from BetterHelp. I take these ads pretty seriously because I am a believer in talk therapy. I think it is invaluable. If you don't have someone to talk to, to have someone in your corner, you can open up to talk to get things that are inside of you out.

28:38And see how small and comfortable they are. Well, that's where BetterHelp comes in. BetterHelp is fully online. Therapy is affordable. It's convenient. You can use any switch therapist any time at no extra cost. That's great. And I think this gets a lot of the stigma out of the way. A lot of the hurdles have been erased with BetterHelp. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash Conan. That's BetterHelp. BetterHELP.com slash Conan. I'm curious, because I like the origin stories. You must have been an odd young fellow. And I can relate. You're just a perfectly normal kid. An amazing athlete. Yeah. You played your quarterback, right, for the Rams, for like eight years. You know what? Actually, when I was in high school, I want to find out how alike we were when we were

29:43when we were little comedy freaks. Go ahead. This is a story I actually told once on the TBS show. And I gave you this piece of information. That's okay. Those things are not destroyed. No, I know. But I gave you this piece of information about myself and your response was to say, what an ass. And so I'm going to get clearly in stick with you. It did. And I'd like to give you an opportunity to just, I'm going to tell a team again and give you an opportunity to have a more supportive and empathetic reaction to it. Okay. I think I can do it. That's all right. When I was in high school, I wrote for the student newspaper. And because I did, right for the student newspaper, I wore a fedora to school with a press card in the hat band. That's the information. Fuck you. Wait a minute. This is what you do. You project because if you didn't do that very same thing, you're just upset that you didn't think of it. We established a long time ago that I attack people for my qualities. Yes. Most of my attacks on you are things that I have guilty of. And I always find that that's the greatest joke of all.

30:44I attack others for things I have done. And now it seems to become a national craze. It's a national craze. Trust me. You know, you know, you're a crook. Wait a minute. But I think it's one of my great joys in life is going after other people for being nerds and freaks when they were kids. No. No, I totally, I remembered, I mean, I've talked about it, but all I wanted when I was a boy was not a baseball bat or a glove or a football. I wanted office supplies because I wanted to like type things up and fire off memos. I wanted a stamp that said void and cancel. And I started to gather these things. And I remembered all I wanted to do was to have official papers to write up. I wanted a pneumatic tube also one of those things. You go, and it goes shooting off. Yes. So you're firing off memos to other rooms in the house. I am just as bad as you. And I was, I, bullies should get in time machines now and go back and beat the shit out of me.

31:45More than, more than I was beaten already. You didn't get it bad enough at the time. Yeah. No, no, I got, I got more than my share. But I still think when I think of these things now, I think, nope, I didn't get enough beating. We need bullies to get into time machines. Instead of going back and stopping World War II from happening or other things, they should just go back and kick the shit out of me. Yes. And then you're going to get enough just to, you know, throw the hat in a tree. You have to punch me while you're at it. That's what that happened. Well, I spent a lot of time chasing after that hat. So you were the hat and you were bullied, I'm guessing. Of course, but I was just looking for scoops. Yeah. Do you, you're supposed to not, when you're a reporter, you look, I'm looking for scoops. That's what I said. And look, you're looking for scoops. When you're a reporter, you're supposed to not be the story. And you were kind of like, exactly your right. So all of your articles that you wrote were reporter assailed. Pat Stolen. Like every time you picked up the Andy Daley, daily newspaper, my column was called the Daily Muse in New Zealand. Oh, my God. The Muse.

32:46I think I've told this once, but once I was walking with my brother Luke and, you know, I was kind of smart and my brother Luke is, um, to this day, a thousand times smarter than me. He was just this incredible brain. And I remembered we, we got stopped near this area in my neighborhood called the Point where some of the tough kids hung out. And we got stopped by some kids and they were sort of shoving us and saying, you guys are, you know, back then everyone was queer, you know, they'll call you queer. Like, hey, pushing you and saying that. And, and if you insult back then was you mental, you know, it was a Boston thing, but mental meant, you know, you know, you're mental, just means you're all screwed up. Hey, kid, what are you mental? And they pushed my brother Luke and said, what are you mental? And he said, hmm, well, mental is Latin for of the mind. So I thank you. The fists flew fast and hard. I remember he's just, and my heart sinking when Luke had this super silly look on his face.

33:48Now, Latin is, mental and Latin is of the mind, my good sir. So I thank you. And then when you made an example of a parick victory, there it is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I read about this in your column. Yeah, yeah. That was the one scoop you ever had. Fellow nerd beaten after quoting Latin. It was a parick victory. It was a parick victory. For sure. Yours most sincerely on the daily news. You go. I love that. No, no, I am you and you am I as well. I would say in an alternate universe. Here's, I have a question for you because I was thinking about somebody was asking me like the first laugh I ever got out of a crowd. And I remember very clearly, in fact, I think it might be my first memory that I was in nursery school and it was a very special job to get to carry the Dixie cups full of fruit juice from the kitchen to the room where everybody was. Like that was something every day someone got selected to do it. And it was my job to do it that day.

34:49And I legitimately dropped, I tripped and dropped this tray full of Dixie cups. And everybody laughed as though I had done it on purpose. And then I played it off like I had done it on purpose because I really enjoyed the laugh. But I wonder if is that a common experience do you think for comedians to like, yes, to get a laugh? Like, yeah, it was not an intentional joke. But I had to. It was so much like I got in a lot of trouble for dumping juice on the floor, but that was better. But you got the pure heroin hit of a laugh. And no one forgets their first hit. Yes. You know, I mean, I'm in the same way. Do you remember yours? Yeah, my first big laugh was 1998. The show had been on for five years. And I remember saying to Mr. T. When it was to W. That was the big laugh. No, no, I love it. My first big laugh. It was our fifth anniversary show. I had never had one let know. I remember very clearly I was at a little school in Brooklyn,

35:52mass called the Michael Baldwin school, we just called the Baldwin school. And it was just K through three. I would have been, I don't know, maybe second grade. And my dad had taken me to a revival house and shown me a Charlie Chaplin film. And I think it was maybe modern times or something. And I just was just, oh my God, that guy's funny. It was a silent film with the music. And I saw it and my dad knew I was into comedy. So he took me and I was. So I took a little walking stick to school and out in the school yard. I was doing a routine where I was walking with the walking stick. And it was a total accident. I crossed one leg. You know the way when you use plant a cane, like the planter's peanut guy, you kind of, you know, cross one leg over the other in a saucy way, a jauntie pose. A jauntie pose. I was doing a little stick with it. And a bunch of kids were around in the playground. And I was sort of doing it for them. And then I crossed one leg over the other and accidentally hit the cane with my foot

36:53and it went, we were, we were, we spent spinning and kind of planted itself in the grass. And the kids thought it was, it was an accident. Yeah. But I got the biggest laugh because it looked like I had been up all night practicing a really cool thing. And they were just like, that was awesome. And I had that whole floodgate of. Yeah. I know. I'll try to do some of these things on purpose maybe. Yeah. And I realized that I needed to be a prop comedian. Mm-hmm. To this day. To this day. To this day. To this day wherever I go, I have my trustee. I got the Gallagher estate and I bought all his props. So he was, there was an auction of Gallagher belongings. Didn't we look over the key? Yeah. Didn't I? You could buy one of his hats that had hair attached to it. That's right. He remembered. I was watching, I think I was watching Rip Taylor, the comedian Rip Taylor. He used to do prop comedy. And he'd be like, oh! And he was on the Merv Griffin show or something. And I was watching him and he just,

37:55he had a trunk full of just crap, just junk. And he pulled out what was a mannequin's arm and duct tape to it. Crudely was just a tennis racket. And he just pulled it up and held it up and went, tennis elbow! And I remember being a kid watching daytime TV. And I went, that's awful. You can't just, no, you can't just take. What was his show, the like $9 beauty pageant? Do you remember that? I don't remember that. It was like a daily show where they would just do a beauty pageant. And he was the host and he would crown, just, I don't remember anything of his other than thinking, you can't just take two nouns and duct tape them together. Because if you do it so nihilistic, you can just get a piece of glass. And I mean, I'm just trying to think of, you can just take anything that has two words to it and tape them together and then announce that's what it is.

38:56And I remember just thinking, if we go down that road, we're dead as a species. And sure enough, retailer died. Many years later, he probably would never have described his act as nihilistic. I don't think. He wants to go for that. I don't know, Sam. How? Maybe we got him to do something on our show once. And yeah, so Frank Smiley got him to do a bit for us. And I just still had PTSD from his tennis elbow routine. I take him away, get him away from me. I know that you're doing your own podcast and have for quite a long time. And you guys got to know each other. Do you know each other before that? We knew each other from first from my podcast, Superrigo, which we guested on. Which is by the way, so many times I'm with you and fans come out of the woodwork, bypass me. And they know Superrigo with this guy. And I'm like, what for? Who's going on? What am I? Chot-Liver? Yeah. Yeah.

39:57Maybe. You may be. That's why I don't want with Matt Gorilley anymore. Superrigo is just an hour long podcast that we talking about how your chop liver. I think of that. Playing out the case. No, that's so you guys work together. And I mean, do you have any insights into what makes this man tick because any daily fascinates me? It's, I've just never not seen him be funny. And he's just really, and it kind of seems effortless. The check is going to come do on these compliments. I know they've already had. You've let us down many times already, too. I'm looking for scoops. Looking for scoops. He's my friends. I don't even have to say this. We're already friends. But I find him to be. Don't say the funniest. Don't say the funniest. Don't say it. You're hanging by a friend. You do like a bitch. Along with David Hoppe. One of the funniest people, along with yourself. Truly one of the funniest people. Hey, put me in the same category with this guy. I'm very happy. And that's the last compliment today. Now I go after you again.

40:58I think you're really pale. You know what else he is? What? Generous. He's so funny. I know. Don't, don't. He's just a generous comic partner. He always gives you room and... Shut up. This is why I have such a hard time coming on this. Shut up, fuck. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. And that's why I'm making this point. Shut up. He knows how to do it. He understands the rules. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. If you get one laugh, I will die. That's always been my comedy philosophy. If I'm on stage with anyone and they get the slightest laugh, I will immediately die. Of course. But imagine the nose, the emotional nose bleed I felt coming from Andy to work with Andy daily. Shut up. I'm doing this with Andy Richter once, but I said, I've come up with a good comedy character. Let's do it. And my guy just said, shut up. So instead of yes, Andy. Uh-huh. And he'd say, like, oh, this is a nice cookie shot. We got shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

41:58Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Fucking shut up. And scene. It would work. In an improv scene, it would work. Um, we've talked about this before, but your comedy rants, your monologues, where you tell stories as characters. I've listened to those. And I don't want to repeat things too much from the last podcast, but you, uh, you inhabiting the body of a guy who's like a leprechaun. And, and, and the stories go on for about 25 minutes. And there's always so much intelligence behind them. There's the up with people kind of guy who's it. You clearly quickly realize that his whole family has been like murdered and sexually assaulted. And he has to show up now. And he's late because everyone was being, he just got away with his life. His, all his family is gone. And he has to be enough with people guy. There's a character he does called Don DeMillo, uh, that when, when we're doing something together and he goes into Don DeMillo, Andy goes away. Yeah.

42:59And the posture comes in and his eyes go out and as he always comes in. There are those Don DeMillo, the atrical director Don DeMillo. Look at the ladies and gentlemen. Wonderful to be here. I direct the Rockets and the Radio City Music Orchestra Christmas Mejtairo. That's just Fadadee. Is that your big claim to fame the Rockets? That's a whole thing. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He doesn't mess around with the, you know, the pageant, the live nativity scene and the the baby just here. I focus on the rackets. Beautiful girls with the legs. All exactly the same heights. Because that's weird. It's a little strange that there's this holdover from the Zigfeld Fathers in the middle of the children's Christmas show. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, I took we took our daughter when she was little to that show. And it is really funny. It's like, you know, oh, oh, oh, oh, and there's Santa and there's elves and everyone's having a good time and then bring out the girl.

44:07Girls, kid, kid, kid, kid. You gotta give these kids their monies were. Yeah, we have a rotating casket 300 girls all the same height. That creeps me out like you know, you have to. Yeah, yeah, it's very specific. Yeah, weird. We should tour where you do that character and I do my shut up guy. Let's all right. Let's see right now. Hello, shut up. Yes. Hello, coach. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. I just wanted to ask you. And it works. This reviewer walked out after one minute. There's brilliant Andy Daly did his best, but Conan shut up guy. Who was 10 times louder in the speakers. Yeah, yeah, for reasons we've soon found out that Andy Daly's Mike had been cut on O'Brien's orders. All right, ask me some questions. Come on. I'd like to hear about penis beach. Please, penis beach. What? Didn't you write the famous penis beach sketch nude beach? It's called

45:12Oh, I thought it would cope. Let's not be crass. All right, all right. To sketch that I worked on with, I think, well, Robert Smigel, it started with Robert Smigel's idea. Okay. I believe Matt your brother was the host. Well, we had it kicking around for a while because we couldn't get him to do it. And there was a big controversy because the whole concept of this sketch was a guy's really nervous. It's his first day at a nude beach and his friends telling him, you know, get over it. It's not a big deal. And everyone has strategic, strategically covered genitalia. And was this because they were just just then allowed to say penis on national television? I remember. Well, it wasn't clear. You could yet. I, I, I, is how I remember it. No, we used to do it. We did it in Chicago at the, at the, it was at the Victory Gardens Theater in Chicago summer of 1988. We did a show there called Happy Happy Good Show. And this sketch did really well. I would, I think there's a guy who's on stage and he's holding a beach ball in front of his dick. But other than that, we're all naked. And he's nervous. It's his first day at a nude beach. And I think

46:16Robert Smigel is counseling him and saying, you know, don't worry about it. It's just the most natural thing in the world. You'll even forget your naked because we just hang out and we talk. And then I think I walk in and say to have a guitar, strategically placed. And I walk in and say, hey, Bill, and he goes, Hey, this is my friend Steve. And I go, Hey, Steve. And I go, Hey, penis, looking good. And then he goes, I thought, your penis is looking pretty good too. Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm using a new cream, you know, whatever. And then other people walk in and all we talk about is penises. I believe there are over 30 repetitions of the word. How was it? 30 is. Served if that's in the first minute. And then it gets down to, Hey, what, what you do with your penis? Well, I found a really good regimen for my penis is to, you know, and that's, where it's all we talk about. But as if we're just talking about the weather. And then I think my big contribution was it should end with, Hey, let's sing a song and it's all about penises. And it's just the word penis penis penis. And we did this sketch and it did really well in Chicago. Then we took the show to LA. I did well in LA. And then we took it to SNL and immediately

47:21a we're in a room with NBC brass. And they're saying, you can't do this. And it took a while. But then I think Matthew Broadrick came on the show and we had insisted. Yeah, we took a stand. We fought for it and we got it. We got it done. Uh-huh. But isn't it one of the only sketches that was edited out for the rerun? Like it doesn't. I didn't know that. Okay. Yeah. That's something I heard. Not for the tape delay and the West Coast, but for the second airing. Yeah, right. They kind of know. Yeah. Because of the complaints. Yeah. There were a lot of complaints. And I remember when that aired. Yeah. We talked about that in my family. And it was a big thing because, you know, later on, people would say, you know, because we would, our defense was it's part of the body. And we're not saying anything gross about the penis. We're just mentioning penises. Right. And so, um, but yeah, we were, I mean, I like to think we were like Rosa Parks. Can we edit that out? We took a really brave stance.

48:24But also, I am under orders Conan to ask you about the Taylor Swift wedding. I'm sorry. I don't want to do. I take no place. You know, we haven't talked about it. My wife and I did go to that wedding. You did? Yeah. I have. So my daughter is, she's 19 and she's heard some rumors about the wedding. Can I run these by you? Okay. See if they're true. And I've been very discreet because I respect their privacy. And I, uh, I do. I'm just laughing at the thought of them having privacy. Doing a wedding. I'm trying to square. I know other people have talked, but I'm changing. But I, I will answer your questions if I can. Okay. All right. I have heard that some guests were required to arrive at the wedding five hours before the wedding began. That is one rumor I heard. I don't think that's true. And I have heard that there were, I showed up five hours early, uh, to a warm about and no one was there. No one was there. And then someone said, can you just start unfolding these seats? And I said, sure thing. So, and I, um, I helped with floral arrangements.

49:26I got there very, very early. You did. Yeah. And I, I think that's the reason I got invited. Was they know that I'm a good worker. You were willing to help out. And my invitation did say, could you show up early and bring work clothes? The dress code is janitor coveralls. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, well, I guess so. And then I was like, why is they including a mop in the dress code? But they did your own mop. Yeah. Basically, her rumors all kind of have to do with like, there was a tear of guests who had to get there early did not have chairs and, um, I had to spend all this time without their phones like five hours waiting for the way people gave up their phones, which is, I think a good idea. I mean, I, first of all, I will say this for me anyway, I would like my phone confiscated all the time. I, I am so much happier when I don't have my phone. You know, when I'm with my wife, she always has her phone. So if there's God forbid, someone really needs to get in touch with us or something happens or our kids need to talk to us. Yeah. She has her phone, but I think it's now a great luxury not to have a phone. I agree. And, um, I think they should be taken away from all of us.

50:30But, um, yeah, I don't, none of that sounds familiar to me. Other than the phones, none of that sounds familiar to me. Everyone had a seat. Why? These are important questions. No, they're not boring because they get the imagine there is a ceremony. There's a tropian wedding. No, no, there's a ceremony where everyone is seated. Okay. And some were punished. I mean, I was dressed as a custodian and did not have a seat. Right. Okay. And I was the only person that gets to the heart of the things that she's heard and is concerned about. Yeah. Yeah. I did. No, there's the part where you sit and you watch this wonderful, beautiful wedding occur. The ceremony and Adam Sandler was brilliant and really sweet and perfection. And I've, I keep bothering him because we're friends. I keep telling him how it's one of the finest things I've seen a person do. He just hit the tone. He was funny. He was sweet. It was perfection. They were lovely. I, I just was very heartwarming. The whole thing was just absolutely beautiful. And people have, have said this, but I'll just double down. It was really sweet and real. That, and then, uh, there's like a reception where there's places to sit,

51:35but you didn't want to sit. You know, mostly people are standing and talking and I heard it was music. Music did like musical chairs and that chair was taken away every 10 minutes. And then if you couldn't find a seat, you had to leave. That is true. Okay. All right. That is true. They, and the weird thing is the person taking the chairs away was Taylor. Uh-huh. Which I thought it was just said she was busy taking chairs away. And it was, I guess, a prank that Travis talked her into. And, uh, no, everything you're saying is insanity. I don't know. It's your, it was probably a carton on days. Is there any chance that your daughter's dies reading the daily, is it really me? The daily news? I'm looking for scoops, Conan. Yeah. Your scoops are so crazy. Yes. Uh, it's been well documented that McCartney played and Stevie Nicks. And it was just fantastic. I think he would play. And my favorite thing is McCartney's playing a song. Yeah. He's playing. I want to hold your hand and a guy just then went,

52:36hey, Conan, I just want to talk to you. So on your podcast. Are you kidding me? And I like Mr. Chunk of it because, you know, I'm not. I'm going to be. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. But didn't he also stop every once in a while and then everybody had to sit down. That's true. There's over. But go to the carton. He was playing the musical chairs music. He was providing the musical chairs music. Oh, yeah. Yes. I was here saying. And so she would give him a high sign. He would stop. Yeah. And everybody has to play an iconic Beatles song. He's never played live before. And then he would stop. Taylor herself would rush over. Yeah. Remove all these chairs. And then he, Paul would, and she'd say go, Paul, and he would start to play again. He was on the bus. And then I remember I saw, I saw Lord Michaels fall because he thought he had a chair and he didn't. A lot of people were going down. A lot of people got very badly hurt. And they were, they were helicoptered out, which has not been in the press, which is weird. Well, it was a blindfolded musical chairs. Right? Yeah. No, that was the fun part. I guess. Yeah. I didn't get what that was for, but it was so that we would sit. So yeah. So yeah, a lot of people got hurt.

53:37I thought it was a weird use of McCartney to make him sing Beatles classics. He's doing like side two of Abby Road, right? He's stopping every, he didn't. He's saying for hours and hours and hours. And everyone, the chairs kept getting taken away again by Taylor herself. Yeah. Who at this point is drenched in sweat. Yeah. And then people just start sitting down and breaking their hips. Everyone broke their hips at night. My wife broke her hip. I broke the left side of my hip. And then I broke it the right side later on when I got drunk with my dog. And because you know, you got to talk it down with someone. Sure. And yeah, it was, that was a crazy night. Is this the kind of, well, you know, you go. I was going to say who won musical chairs. Great question. It's a great question. It was Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper went and then he was such a dick about it. Yeah. He anticipated he was going to win because he's very good at musical chairs. So he had these t-shirts made that said I won fuckers. Wow. And he's had a t-shirt cannon. He was firing them, but not into a crowd. He was walking up to people's faces and point firing point blank t-shirt cannon. Yeah. And so I saw him shoot. I think do a leap of right in the face with a t-shirt cannon. She

54:41went right down. She'd already broken her hip. I mean, it was and then yeah. At one point, they opened. I didn't know they could open the roof of that square garden, but they opened it up and it just, it was all helicopters, hella-vaccing people out. Half of them hurt with because of the musical chairs and then half of them shot in the face at point blank range by Bradley Cooper because he had won the musical chairs with t-shirts he had made beforehand an anticipation of his victory. So my point to you is that I can't believe none of this got out. My daughter has some inklings about it. Yeah. And I saw you at one point, I didn't want to get some treatment for something else. Unrelated to these other accidents. I just had some bad chill fish. So I was being hella-vacced out and I looked down and I saw what I thought was you wearing a press hat. And you're on 33- you're on 33rd street. And you had a photographer with a flashbulb in his head. Yeah. And but I kept waving to you because I thought this was a

55:42finally a big scoop and you wouldn't look up because I guess you have neck issues. You can't look up. Yeah. Yeah. I can't. It's just fine. I just can't report anything that's above like eye level. And that's why all your all your scoops were about, well, I'm still looking right at eye level. Yeah. And I see nothing of concern here when most every celebrity in the world is being hella-vacced out with a dangerous injury right right above you. Well, that's for someone else to cover, I guess. I'm just like whatever the daily news is not going to cover anything that happens that I have to crane my neck up or down or to the side. You can only see you have no peripheral vision and you can only see straight ahead. This is hurt your reporting. I agree. But there's nothing can be done about it. Many times you'll be out and something amazing will happen and someone will say, oh my god, look at that and you'll say, only if I could. Yeah. So that's, you know, I think I've given the most accurate reporting of what happened that way. That's the kind of wedding you bring a gift to because, I mean, you don't have to say,

56:44I brought a rice cooker. And you know what? It was used. You're the one I had in college. Oh, I was. They don't make these anymore. And I'm not even sure it's meant to cook rice. It's a good chance that it's something that you heat infected scalp with. Infected scalp? Infected scalp? Yeah. You know, if you get those boils on your head the way I do sometimes. Oh, so you put it on your head. Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought that was a residing a scalp that was not attached to a head. Yeah, me too. But had somehow become infected. Mine's still attached. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good question. What was the gifts? But gifts are not gifts. I didn't do a gift. I should have. I think you have a year after the wedding. You do. The etiquette. I do not. But they didn't have like a little clause in their imitation that's like, please no gifts were mega billionaires here. They were still. First of all, that's just rude. You're assuming she has a lot of money and you're assuming he has a lot of money. That's not cool. I don't think that's rude. No, you're first of all, that's just, oh,

57:45everyone in entertainment is just super wealthy. I think they're barely getting by. You know what I mean? And for you to assume that because she sells out tours all over the world and has been one of the probably the biggest star in pop culture for the last 15 years that she has money, that's a terrible assumption. I guess you're right. And you know, it is. It's very, it's narrow-minded of you. And I think an offensive. I'd like to apologize to them because I think you're right. And that, wait, I'm sorry, a year and a half. There you go. For a minute there, we're losing him. We're losing the pay for a second. He's back. He's back and all systems go. Okay. If you ever faint instead of smelling salts, they're going to grab me and put my head right next to yours and you're just going to be completely out of it. And then you're going to go, you're an asshole. And then you'll be, you'll have the same heart rate as an Olympic athlete. Do you want to apologize for anything? Oh, no. No, I can't think of anything I should apologize for. You, you came here today.

58:47Yes. You offer. Yes, you were asked by our bookers. Yeah, okay. And then I did try to stop you. Oh, okay. I didn't know that part. This is my favorite kind of podcast of all because it's all just foolishness. What do you mean? Fall the wrong and flotting. It makes me really happy. I don't think that makes me so happy. This is the most substantive interview I've ever had in my life. I know. I know. You thought this was like 60 minutes. Yeah. It's a real grilling. This guy's really drilling into me. I want to mention again, you're the host of the Andy Daley podcast project. Oh, yeah. I'm Patreon. And how can you've never had me on that? What's the problem? I actually got it. No, I know. But bananas for bananas. And that's part of it. Oh, yes. Yes. I did do that. But you know, you could have me back. It's all I'm saying. And I'll tell you something else. I don't remember gunning a chant. Oh, really? Yeah. That's probably true. That's probably true. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I just says, yeah, that's, yeah, that's probably true. That's probably true. Hey, wait a minute. You never paid me for that. I catered your party. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I'm assuming your tailor swift wealthy. So, again, that's just rude. Yeah, I guess it is.

59:52You know, all right. I'll send you a check and I'll invite you back. And this time, I'll pay you before also the scoops I just gave you on the T-sweth wedding. They're huge. Wait a little, you see the daily mail get a hold of this. You know, the daily mail. Yeah. I mean, the British tabloids love this stuff. And they'll, everything I just revealed is huge. We should monetize that. How so? I'm not sure. Well, I'm not going to daily mail for their name. They should not. I forgot. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're going to win. I think you're going to win. I'm going to win. I'm going to win their lawsuit. Yeah. I mean, it's, say it, the daily mail, Andy daily, it's the same word. And your mail, you know what? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you don't even, quote, email Jason, you don't even need a lawyer. You can't just go in front of a judge and say that. Yeah. How are you going to dress as a lawyer if you, as when you're a reporter, you wear a hat. What are you going to wear? Are you going to wear an English a way to wear the daily mail as a UK based news? Yeah, you're going to have to go to the

1:00:53England. Yeah, I have to. I got to show up in one of those wigs and a robe. But still put a little press thing in there. Yeah. Yeah. We're a, we're a best just wig with a little press card. And go, I'm here for justice and possibly a scoop. I don't know. But in your terrible British accent, obviously, for justice, it's impossible to use. Go. It could go either way. Oh, I always. Oh, sure. False. In the second grade, the first CD you ever bought was Rod Stewart's. Do you think I'm sexy? That is true. I was not a CD, though. It was a, it was a vinyl record. You bought the record. Of course. Why would a kid in second grade buy? Do you think I'm sexy? Well, I had to chew. I was at the same goodie. I wanted to know the answer to the question. He just played it for girls individually. To get there. To get there. I just love him inviting a girl and sit down, sit down, Abby, and she'd sit down and you would, you'd be wearing your press hat with your card and you'd

1:01:54put it on. If you think I'm on it and you think I'm sexy. And you're just looking at her and then you take the needle off the record and you go, and no answer the question. And so the question. Next. Next. There's a line of 900 girls. I had, I was trying to choose between Alice Cooper's record because he had been on the Muppet Show and I liked his record. And Rod Stewart's record. And I chose Rod Stewart because that song, do you think I'm sexy, was the big hit at the time. Sure. And I assumed the whole album was going to be that great. It really was not. But I did bring it into my second grade classroom. Probably the reason I remember it's the first album I ever bought is that we were allowed to bring in our our favorite music to play for the class. And I brought that record in and had it go over the provocative album. Yeah, do you let you do it? You play it? Yeah, they let me play the big song. And then you did the penis sketch for the whole class. And you were in drop to tree of Tuesday. Yeah. And then cut to exterior school. A child is thrown out the window a second later his hat is tossed out after him.

1:02:55You are a force for good in the universe. Thank you. Andy B. Daley. Close. I just love to give you a minute. I'm middle initial. I have no idea what it is. What is your middle name? It's the letter J. The constant ass. God bless you. Please come back very soon. I will. I'd love to. And shut up, shut up, shut up. Okay. I get windprop. Got it. Sweeping the nation. I September is national childhood cancer awareness month and team cocoa is teaming up with Hyundai hope on wheels in a fantastic way. Children fighting cancer are the real warriors. That's why team cocoa is donating memorabilia to a special charity auction benefiting Hyundai hope on wheels. Hyundai hope on wheels has supported children's families, doctors and researchers since 1998 by funding childhood cancer research and raising public awareness. Check this out since 1998 Hyundai has contributed more than $303 million that helps fund research

1:04:01and advanced treatments that have helped save more than 40,000 kids. The auction is another way for us to get involved in their mission and we're honored to be able to take part in. I like that we're doing this auction. And there's a lot of really good memorabilia we have for the podcast. Yeah a lot of cool swag. Also some stuff that I think is unusual and maybe fun for people to have. Good date with you. No, no, no, no, we've tried that and we lost over $600,000. Tell you what some of the auction items are. Okay. A meet and greet at the next live garage show. Oh nice. Meet Conan O'Brien. Yeah. And the highest bidder gets to not meet me. That'll go for a lot of money. Custom cameo style videos from Conan. That's me. Examples could be a, I don't know, congratulations on a wedding a happy birthday message. Just something fun and I'll do that for you. We're going to auction off a Conan sign guitar because everyone knows that when you think great guitarist you think Conan O'Brien, a Conan famous doodle. I do a little doodly guy. Doodle up a storm. I'm quite the doodler. Yeah. And also we're going to auction off four signed

1:05:01Funko figures. Oh wow. So that'll be cool. That's very cool. Can I just say I drive a Hyundai Palisade? You do and it's a fine looking car. It is and it's really great to drive a car that's connected to such a good cause. Yes. To drive, be driving a car made by people who are doing such a nice thing. Yes. This September you can bid to an exclusive team cocoa memorabilia supporting Hyundai Hope on wheels. Go to the below link to bid and learn more at HyundaiWarriors.com. Big news, Sonia. Yeah. Did you know T-Mobile recently partnered with the National Park Foundation? No way. Yep. They're making it easier to stay connected so you're free to wander. That's really cool. And I love a national park. I really do. I do too. Now there's one thing you have to have if you're doing that good signal. It's a priority. Do you know what I mean? You got your maps, your music, this podcast. Yeah. So take America's best network plus their off-grid satellite coverage with you. Look, we're all little spoiled, but we like to have access to all our stuff. And suddenly you don't have it because of a bad single. That's when I throw my phone into the Grand Canyon.

1:06:05Oh, okay. Literally filled half the Grand Canyon with phones. Then I got T-Mobile and never had to chuck them again. You know, so wander over to T-Mobile.com and switch best based on analysis by Ucla of speed test intelligence data for two H 2025. Wow, that's some sentence. T-Style light with cable device in most outdoor areas in US where you see the sky. That's important. You got to see the sky. Yeah. Service may be limited or unavailable included with experience beyond or $10 per month. Auto renews. Can't sell any time. That was probably meant to be said by a robot really quickly, but I just did it slowly so you could really understand. Disclaimer, please do not throw your phone into the Grand Canyon. You know, those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing on a repeat. You know, I'm talking about the sweater that goes with everything. The perfect pair of pants. I mean, just perfect. Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy and that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials

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1:08:12We have some important topics to discuss and it involves a show called Big City Greens. Yeah, baby. And I don't know much about this show, but Blay, why don't you take it away and lead us into it. Big City Greens, I couple my friends Chris and Shane Houtten have a great show on Disney Plus, and they asked us Matt and Sonan myself to do voices on this animated show. And we did. And it was great. Do you realize you punch certain words there? Completely unnecessarily. What do you mean? They asked us to do voices. He's a voiceover. Thank you. I am emphasizing certain words because it adds to the drama. Okay. All right. Did it incredible. That was pretty good. This is an audio medium, by the way. Sure. Yeah. Sure. We have microphones. We talk about it. Okay. I just want people to continue listening. Oh my god. But do you want to say what you said right before we

1:09:13started about my voice? I just said it's better when I, because you suggested maybe you start off the segment. And I said I don't think that's a good idea because people listening will think it's an amber alert. Yes. Very funny. Yes. And you'll start looking for that. Tell you how to camera with a certain license plate in the highway. See if little Billy is okay. But so so play. This is this is exciting. Happy for your friends. They have this show. And I guess it's a it's a big deal. Big city. I love big. My daughter and I love this show. I love this show. Why? I think there's room for us all to love it. No, I mean, I mean, it's like one of those kids shows. It's not, I don't even know if it's a kid show technically, but it's like very funny. And I think adults and kids can enjoy it. When my kids were little, there were shows that I watched with them that I loathed because you know, they were really little and they they wanted to see, oh, I don't know, Dora the Explorer or Kau. No shade to Dora or Kau. No shade. No shade. Well, I just think they

1:10:17should tell us what disease does Kau. You have. Okay. That's right. You got to come forward. What are you doing? I just I thought it was creepy. They would do that thing where they'd go like, what should we do to find our way? And then Dora would kind of look around and look out at the screen. And this was the chance for the kids to go map and should say, that's right. Map. I was driven mad by this. So I used to shout out the wrong thing like what? Okay. Yeah. Dora would say, how do we how do we find our way? And Dora would want me to say map and her eyes would dart and look out the TV at me. And I would say, you know, spatula and should go. Of course. That's right. Map. And I enjoyed it because it made it seem like she had lost her mind. So no, I wasn't having that Kau. I swear to God needs need help. Kau needs help. But then my kids got a little older when they started watching these two shows that were just brilliantly funny. Teen Titans go and gumball

1:11:19and these shows were fantastic. And I thought these shows are funnier than most of the edgy comedy that I that served up to me. Big city greens is like that. Big city greens is like, well great. I'm going to check it out. Yeah. So his word girl on PBS. What's word girl about? And I was like, why is this so funny? And it's really short. But it's like Ellie Camper's in it. A misadera, misadera, isn't it? Oh great. It's like like a lot of high pedigree people. It's awesome. It's on PBS. We also have they sent a picture of Matt and Sonas characters. Oh cool. We're we're big produce. That's our that's our enemy. We play the villains. Oh my god. That is so cool. That's great. You have a mat has a t-shirt cannon. I'm lavender. And I'm I just have a dick look on my face. They spent hours. You know what they did? They spent hours studying Sonas.

1:12:20We're mass produce. We're the bad guys because the whole thing is about a small farm in the middle of the city. Right. And they are at the Farms from what I remember, which is like the Oscars for farms. No spoilers. And play with us. Your character. Okay. And then I'm not going to say I play farmers. Zachariah. I'm in the middle. But they didn't give me any lines. I think I'm also that guy on the left. Wait. Wait. Did you start this whole thing by touting your vocal skills and how it's an audio medium and your friends. Yeah. That's your friends. We're a part for you. You don't speak. What does that tell you? What does that tell you? Maybe they're listening to the podcast and realizing that's the sixth time he broke my voice speakers. They just had me grunt. Just do a bunch of grunts. Do one. I was like, but also I will say to your point, Conan. They had me, and this is not a joke. They probably had me do 12 or 13 takes of grunts. So I guess I'm just terrible. Yeah. I'm pretty bad too. They had me do a lot of take. But how many grunts? How many times do I have to do grunts? Man, I mean, you can just do a grunt.

1:13:23I mean, you do a good grunt. See, that's, that's their cut print. Okay. Well, they're going to take that from this and put it in the shell. Yeah. You grunt. No, you grunt. You grunt, bitch. That's a good grunt. That's a good grunt. Okay. Terrible. I love when I do improv. Like you're supposed to be super supportive of everyone around you. And I'm like, no, bad choices. Okay. I look at us because I'm in Toy Story 5. We're all getting. You had to. I knew you were going to mention. No, no, I'm going somewhere with this. The point I'm making is that we are all getting voice over work. And it's because of this podcast, people are hearing our mulefuelous tones. And they're like, give me some of that. I want that in my movie or in my TV show. That's all I'm saying. You know what I want to do? What? ASMR audiobooks. audiobooks? After dark erotic fiction. Oh, the lady was ready. Oh my god. You'd be so bad.

1:14:23The lady was the lady was. You would be like KG. If you still boring. Wait, was the most erotic thing. You can think of the lady was ready. The lady. Wait, that's not my wife says it. The lady was ready. The shoe salesman approached. What are you looking for? I'm thinking of something that's comfortable. But I could potentially wear it to an outdoor garden party. It was precisely for them. And the lady was ready. The lady was ready. Somewhere out somewhere. Somewhere out there. There's one person going. Now that's my jam. Would you put a lot of like crunching noises and stuff? And isn't the idea to have different tones? I guess that's kind of you might be thinking a little bit more of mukbang. No, I wasn't because I've never heard that before. But I forgot to say to you explain what mukbang in the Korean episode of Conan Without Borders. It's where you don't know what mukbang is. So how could I have done something that I've never ever heard of before? People eating on my. It's disgusting. Oh, it's awful. Yeah. I

1:15:25didn't know it was called mukbang. Yeah, it didn't mean go to a mukbang. Didn't we go? If we had a different thing, I think you'd go to a mukbang. Well, we did. It's an origin swamp. Where the ladies are ready. You're a fool. Which one are you talking to? So, uh, Blay, when, when and where can people see this big city greens episode starring, uh, Matt Gourley, uh, Sonom of Sessian and a silent. Aaron Blair. Uh, uh, out right now on Disney Plus. Great. Check it out. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Lio. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by

1:16:29Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of serious XM when you sign up at seriousxm.com slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. Sofi the everything app for smarter money. Everything in one place to move your money forward, banking, investing, borrowing, and more. Make your first move with Sofi, checking and savings. Competitive APY, no account fees, and a direct deposit bonus. Terms apply. Get started today at sofi.com slash smart money. Sofi. Get your money right. Sofi,

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