On Growth Notes, Frazier explains that one of the simplest yet most important relationship skills in business is learning and using people’s names, citing Dale Carnegie’s idea about the “magic contained in a name” from How to Win Friends and Influence People. He describes how hearing your name used naturally makes you feel seen and important, especially in a distracted world where people half-listen. Frazier admits he is terrible with names and often focuses on what to say next, leading to weak connections, but argues that remembering a name signals presence, attention, and that the person was worth remembering—critical in a trust- and relationship-based business. He challenges listeners to learn every person’s name, write it down if needed, repeat it back, and use it naturally, noting it costs little time but can outperform much marketing.
Good morning, my friends. Happy Tuesday. And today we're going to talk about something that I absolutely suck at
something
That is important. It's almost it's almost too simple, right? It's one of those things that is just too simple to even matter
But it does I promise you that it matters more than most of
the tactics and strategies, you know that are talked about and again
It's something that I've made a concert effort to be better at because it's something that I'm freaking horrible at and it all starts with the name
So Del Carnegie said it best
He said that we should be aware of the magic contained in a name and that was, you know
I had a lot to do with why his book how to win friends and influence people took off, right best almost innocent bestseller, right?
But I want you to really sit with that for a second, right about being aware of the magic contained in the name because
You know one of the things that made Del Carnegie great in his writings and all the different
Bucks and that you know
Blood over into other you don't like Napoleon Hill and you know John Maxwell like so I just played in everything and that's really understanding human behavior
Right, and that's obviously I've talked about that a lot on growth notes
but
But Del he you know, he studied that and understood relationships at a level that most people never will right and what he learned
Out of all those principles and frameworks and strategies
He kept coming back to the name, right and think about the last time you saw someone you just met
And then they used your name in a conversation not in a weird, celzy way, but just naturally right genuinely
Like they actually took the time to hear it and remember it
How did it make you feel right?
I'll tell you right. I'll tell you how it made you fail. It made you feel seen, right? It made you feel like
You were important to a certain extent right now in the in the moment
You don't you don't really like are stopping to think about all your emotions. It just you lean in a little bit more, right?
Because you feel like you matter to that person and in a world where most people are kind of half-ass listening
And distracted for sure, right? That's a feeling that a lot of people don't forget because it isn't the norm
Now flip it around and think about what you do in your business every single day, right?
You meet people constantly whether it's going network events open houses referral partner meetings phone calls zoom calls
Whatever right chance conversations out the store
But every single one of those people has a name
That is the most personal thing about them
And are you learning it? Are you using it? Are you making them feel like they matter?
Right and again raising my hand you can't see it, but I'm raising my hand right now because I freaking failed
miserably at this right terrible with names
But the truth is that most including myself
are so focused on
What they're going to say next right and again, this is something that I've I've had to go against right
You know, it's that waiting waiting for your turn to speak
That they barely catch the name when someone introduces themselves and then five minutes later
You're calling them buddy pal or a you
Guys, I do it all the time and those of you that have been with me at events right either. I'm using you for cover to introduce you
So I could get the name because I forgot it or I don't have to have that awkward look down at the name tag
Right
Just is right and so
You don't want to make that connection weaker than it should be and could be right
And learning someone's name is not a small thing. It's a signal
It tells that person that you were present in that conversation you were paying attention
But more importantly that they were worth remembering
And in this business built entirely on trust and relationships that signal is not a small one. It is worth everything
Okay, so
The challenge for you today
Right and me is make a point to learn the name of every single person you meet right write it down if you have to repeat it back in the conversation
Use it naturally and watch how differently people respond to you now again. There's a nuance to it
Don't get a little crazy as you've seen and you know even some jokes and skits
But ultimately my friends is cost nothing right it takes maybe extra three seconds of intentional focus
And it will do more for your relationship than half the marketing you are running right now right because
A name is not just another word, but it is a real or it is a beginning of a of a real connection
