Ask Uncut - A Hall Pass Of ... Barney The Dinosaur?

Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your deepest dilemmas and offer our most passionate, ‘lived in’ (technically unqualified) advice. We’ve got dilemmas of our own and it involves needing to shave our faces… Someone from our facebook group (that you can join here Facebook Discussion Group) is participating in top tier girl code and gamer boy better look out!

Vibes for the week:
Laura - UK Traitors Season 4 
Keeshia - Mad Mabel by Sally Hepworth 

Then we jump into your questions!

I’M A SW BUT DON’T HAVE SEX WITH PARTNER OF 10 YEARS
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10 years and we essentially don’t have sex — but he constantly guilts me about it. For context, I’m a sex worker and he spent many years seeing sex workers before we met. We’ve always had an open relationship, and I’m okay with not having sex together given the rest of our relationship is amazing. The issue is that I don’t enjoy sex with him — there’s no seduction, no initiation, and it often feels rushed, painful, and disconnected. I’ve tried explaining that effort and communication matter, but he becomes defensive and turns it into “you sleep with your clients but not me.” Even my clients put more care into my experience than he does (I don’t tell him this). We avoid talking about it because he gets immature and blames me. How do I handle the guilt and resentment, and is this something that can actually be fixed — or am I ignoring a bigger problem?

IS IT CHEATING IF THEY’RE TEXTING BOTS?
Is it considered cheating if your significant other is on apps (e.g telegram) and is messaging “bots” ? A friend of mine has been in a relationship for around 10 months and recently found out her boyfriend had been sending messages to these bots. The messages are on the flirtier side - the bots send through an image of a woman (mostly AI) with minimal clothing and her boyfriend would reply with “” or “looking good” etc. These bots also comment on his appearance, saying he’s hot and sexy etc. She has said that it is cheating and she wants to break up with him as he is seeking sexual validation and attention from these bots. Would love your take on this!

PARTNERS COMING TO GIRLS CATCH UPS?
I am currently on parental leave. Twice this week I have made plans to meet different friends for walks and coffees with their bubbas, and when I arrived, their partners were there as they are on paternity leave! I really love their partners and it’s great to spend time with them too, but I find it strange that in both cases neither decided to give a heads up. Isn’t this just good manners to give a heads up if someone else is joining? But since it happened twice with two different people I'm just thinking maybe I'm overreacting?

JOKES ABOUT HARRY STYLE BEING MY HALL PASS AND BF IS UPSET
I love my boyfriend of four years. He is caring, kind and makes me feel so safe. Recently as you would have heard, Harry Styles is releasing new music. I was very excited about this (as a long time one direction and Harry fan!) and suggested to my boyfriend that we try to get tickets to his upcoming tour! He immediately got upset and said he would never go to a Harry style concert with me again. We went a couple of years ago when Harry was last touring. And apparently he was uncomfortable with how excited I got during the concert and from a joke I made about Harry being my hall pass, and saying how much I love him. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, but he feels like I was seriously inferring that I want to cheat on him. I think it’s quite common to joke about celebrity crushes and I would have no issue with home saying the same about dua lipa, for example. I don’t even remember this conversation, because I don’t think I said anything serious. I told him that I must have been making a joke about my celebrity hall pass, and that obviously I don’t actually wish to cheat on him with Harry Styles. It really bothers me that he has been bothered about this for years and never once brought it up with me until now. It’s also hurtful to me that he actually believes that I would want to cheat on him, if given the chance. We’re now not talking, and I think the whole argument is completely ridiculous. Help! What should I do?

IS IT SELFISH TO NOT SHARE MY BABYSITTER DEETS TO FRIENDS?
I am in a big circle of expat friends all with kids all with no family around (aka family who also double up as babysitters on occasion lol). Myself and my partner have recently started to organise some nights out again  now that the kids are a little older- 4 and 2. Like I said we've no immediate family here and only 1 lady in our daycare offers babysitting- which my friend already uses and we tend to do things together within our expat circle. Anyway I found a lovely girl offering babysitting on Facebook, organised a meet up to do a vibe check, checked her credentials and we had some mutual friends from home which I contacted and she checked out. She is great and my kids loved her. She has babysat for us twice in the last 5 months and it's such a relief to know we have someone that we can rely on!.. which leads me to my question.. a friend has asked for my babysitter's details. Am I the ahole for not wanting to share them

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