BREAKING NEWS - A Giant Bell

Hello and welcome to this breaking news episode of what most people think and there's

so much for us to catch up on my friends this week.

I mean, going back to Tuesday we had a friend of the show Morgan McSweeney, McSweeney

and he showed up at the, was it the foreign office select committee thing and we heard

his voice, we finally heard his voice so we'll be chatting about that and we had the

last PMQ's of the session where Keir is fair to say Keir was glitching a little bit in

fairness the other tough week but words are just popping out of his mouth left, right

and center in the wrong direction.

Got leadership jocke in in the Labour party, big angi, I mean it sounds sex is calling

her that but it's just because of the supposed thing.

She feels like this is now or never for her so we'll chat about that reform there was

the revelations about Nigel Farage is undeclared 5 million donation but also the issue of kind

of establishments and stuff closing their doors to reform voters which is not good we'll

chat about that and the king's visit we just have a quick recap on the king and his little

comedy set that he did and stays cheeky little face we'll never forget that I just got

to say I recorded my the this basic bloat to tour show I recorded it on two dates this

week in Norwich Tuesday and Thursday so thank you to everybody that came to that.

I mean the tickets sold quicker in Norwich than anywhere so I didn't know you know I'm

massive in Norwich, massive in Norwich and a bit partridge saying that but the audiences

were incredible so that'll be out on the next up comedy platform later this year maybe

in a couple of months even but it was fun being there one of the weird things about

being a bloke is having to do a special is that you need to think about clothes so you

need to do the kind of thing that women do if they're going for one night away so you

got to take four tops three cha you know five shoes and and and also you've got to take

I don't even feel uncomfortable saying this but you've got to take a little bit of foundation

you know but it's mainly before anyone gives me shit it's mainly because of the shine

so because you've got cameras on you and lights or you know it's my increasingly large

forehead catches the light it's to kind of dull down that stuff so that is weird but worse

still now if you see me on telly you might have noticed that my sometimes my nipples seem

very happy to be wherever they are it's just an issue and the funny thing is it's like

people just say it to you if you were woman and it was face to face people would just gloss

over it but they're just go hey big cold I am excited so I finally I use I use tip tape

yeah I did I did I just thought well I can't have another thing go out where people just

say just say yeah I was distracted by your nipples you know so just being a man being

in a dressing room applying foundation and tip tape I just got to say ladies I've got

nothing but respect for the bullshit that you have to go well you don't have to but

I respect the process new patrons remember if you are a patron you get the podcast early

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is second best an apple podcast if you can't do either the previous two and you will you'll

get a shout out you will get a shout out and we have got some new members here and some

returners Paul Sanders Paul Sanders where's the you because my my grandmother's maiden name

is Saunders where's the you Sanders do you just drop it somewhere along you know you know

what's funny about the past is it's just somebody forgot to put a you on a thing one time

probably almost certainly my name was Northcott and that is the etymology of it I think Northcottage

which I think meant that you one of the servants that live closest to the squire so basically

you were a kiss ass to wealth which given I've ended up voting conservative maybe that is apt

Stephen Mulraini Stephen Mulraini just sounds like a kind of a radio DJ in Northern Ireland you

are less than a Stephen Mulraini on I'll read your raise and shame bail fast we got a few we got some

Shane McGowan and who's who else from no now John O'Callaghan trans DJ you might not know S

Ackerman S Ackerman that's one of those names where I think you need another initial to sound you

know to sound called S S J Ackerman S you moment you say S J Ackerman you're writing statistical

novels about Vimeo Germany Karen Jane is a returner so remember it's the first to mate today

so if you're something hey where's my content gone from Northcott it's because sometimes if you

have a card that you've used the expires or sometimes patron just randomly boot shit out and I think

the same is of Alex Cooper but Alex if you haven't been roasted give me a shout and I will

oh humility are you the thank you is we are very nearly at the end of the whole basic bloke

too bit apart from a week in Edinburgh the week commence in 24th of August which if I would say if

you came to see the working progress it will definitely be a different show and if you came to see

the show even in autumn of last year it will be significantly different so I'm at the underbelly

3 30 pm week commence in 24th of August but there's only two dates now I've got Monday the 4th

of May bank holiday Monday down in Brighton at the Forge so that's a 7 30 start we're good to see

there and then the very last day of all I think there's only like 20 tickets left for this

which is a full flundern date at the London Lester Square Theatre and that's the 3 30 start so you

know you want some of this man just wake up isn't it great day drinking because you wake up you go

I'm going to be drinking really soon I mean that sounds a bit like an air keep but you know I do

think that there's one inside me just waiting to get out I do you know sometimes I drive past

the weather spoons in like you know it's about 10 am and you see a geese are just going in there

with a paper and all you see people have already got a pint on your like fucking bats they're

living my dream the fuck you is much more serious and maybe a fuck you doesn't even begin to cover this

but of course the horrific attack in Golders Green and you know this is now a pattern and a

succession that's been going on for a long time which the Jewish community here have been talking

about but you know some people just not ready to listen and I was kind of thinking right you

know you read about passages in history oh that must have been awful in here just think about

like the kind of things that will be true of our current period police security guards at schools

ambulances attacked people just stabbed in the street for being noticeably Jewish you know in

their appearance or they're clothing you know this is this is horrific you know we need to have a

sober look at what's happening right now and and and you know where did it come from where

there's a lot of things you know there's the geopolitical stuff but I have to say you know like

the light policing at the marches I just never understood why they were like okay we've seen the

videos or we're just gonna take some names and you know we'll we'll deal with it later it was on them

you know it's like it's like you know play on no don't play on like get in there and nick those

people if he's against the law and nick them there and then and you know we're worried about you

know they're always worried what what other chain reaction might that set off you know similar to

how you end up banning football fans from another country from coming because you're worried about

the reaction you know and I know it's not there's not true that Labour have said nothing on this

but you do sometimes go are they politically constrained in this area and and I do I do just

think how ashamed will we be of this era if if you know and I've got a lot of British Jewish

friends so to say no I don't know if I want to live here anymore and you know there was already

a population what is it around a quarter of a million if we live for a period where that

significantly reduces that is an absolute like horrific black mark against this time that we're

living through and and just just finally um it just the reaction some people to the the police

in you know so in this case fair play at the police they got stuck in and the guy was on the

ground he hadn't given up the knife he'd been tasted he hadn't given up the knife so they gave him

a couple of kicks in the head and then like people saw the usual suspects right so quickly and

and some not but the usual suspects were quickly on uh social media again I'm not sure if I'm

comfortable with this why are they kicking me I do not give a flying fuck okay firstly I think

it was okay procedurally somebody hadn't give up knife you don't know what else they've got in

their hand you do what you can to make them surrender the weapon because that's when the attack

stops right and and also the fog of what I just I just find it amazing that some people

they kind of look at that and go oh you know what what do you want them to do just bend down and go

uh excuse me Mr the terrorist is is there any chance you could just relinquish the knife you've

got in your hand it's absolutely absolutely ridiculous if that is your first instinct your first

instinct should be what has happened is horrific and whatever it took to make sure that the

people in the immediate vicinity was safe that's what needed to happen sorry if that's a bit

soaked boxy uh we're gonna talk politics now and we're gonna go right back to Tuesday

so we finally on Tuesday at the foreign office the rolling committee thing where

let's be honest Emily Thornberry is living her best life isn't she she's just she's having a

rare old time there isn't isn't she because she's powerful it's weird she's quite um she's quite

pompous in a way and and you know like there was that finger while back about not using gender

specific terms when describing people I do please don't call girls bossy please you know and

all right well let's it goes the other way let's use words for women that we sometimes only use

for men she's quite pompous in her own way but she is having a great time she having a great time

because she's got Morgan McSweeney there the guy that was instrumental in not giving her the

district districts attorney attorney general job you know let's be honest she couldn't be much

worse than this home a guy and so she's loving it she's finally got Morgan McSweeney in front of

her and he was a big disappointment I'll be honest if you're looking for a political supervillain

you know I wanted him McSweeney comes you know slides in over a Ford Capri but not at all I mean

he's very starmer right in a way he's you know incipit just a quiet little guy that bleeds

right about everything that kind of haughty high moral quiet high morals that we've learned from

starmer and and so he gives his testimony and I'll be honest you know some of it I was like fair

you know fair but then overall I was like am I buying this in its totality not totally because

you know when he spoke about the fact that that he'd asked questions directly of Peter Madison

first up why is someone's mate being the primary source of this line of questioning why was it

why was it ever Morgan McSweeney sitting down got you know you promised me you know like

because I'm going to make a decision here you promised me and and he said he said that when he

found out of Peter Madison had lied about the extent of his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein he said

it was like a knife through the heart and I was like okay all right mate you I think you've I think

you've pushed too far there you've you know this is a bit overdone like a knife through the heart

from Simon Peter Mandelson I know it's the most obvious comedic point to make but the Prince of

Dalton is lied to you it's not that surprising and I do think when you're lying it's really key to

not overdo it to not get too hyperbolic right it's like a bloke you know if a bloke comes back from

a stag do and he said to his Mrs he wouldn't go to a lap dancing club and then there's a photo on one

of the lad's groups on Facebook and he's there and he's like babe okay yeah I did go there but you

know Barry it was Barry's thing and I felt if I dropped out it would be you know and you know

Barry's like a brother to me and at that point you go you wanted to go you wanted to see some tits

and this is a bit like Morgan McSweeney it's like you wanted to appoint him

okay this is the biggest criticism I don't think I just need that this you know if there was a

privileges committee thing that Simon would they would be able to sort of conclusively say that he

lied consciously to Parliament and I don't know if this alone should be why he loses his job but

there's no doubt for me that they were all a bit blinded by the fact that they got to work with

Peter Mandelson it's like you know Ed Sheeran recently appeared on a bono track you know these

guys they grew up with this stuff and we and Emily Formbury said to him isn't it true that you

kind of hear I worship this guy and you were you're basically you know jump over any hurdle to

get involved with him and Morgan McSweeney said no that's not true and then I thought now I'd

now I'm disbelieving a lot else of what you said because that absolutely was what happened

so we move on all right you know move on from the whole matter something unless there's significant

new revelations there was a privileges committee vote that's always got through one they can get

through they got it put to a vote and a Starmer whips his MP so it's a free loan whips a serious

consequences if you don't vote against it right and then so the following day it's all like well

crisis averted there's going to be you know Labour win that there's going to be no vote and there

you know some of his allies are going you know I think the PM has come out stronger you can

has he has he really I mean could just in the act of firing Oli Robbins you've basically told

everybody about you that okay you see that bus over there I will throw any of you under it if

there's even a chance of me just getting like splashed by a fucking puddle I will throw you

under that bus then I'll get in the bus and I'll reverse over your fucking head as the driver of

the bus and he's also he's no longer the details guy this whole affair going back to September was

one of the things the public probably would have said about him in focus groups don't like him a

annoying voice but you know he's you know he's forensic he's across the details and this has proved

that he's not so he turns up to PMQ's more frazzled than a family pack of frazzles and

Kemi I think wisely because there was a chance last week at PMQ's to get him and she sort of

didn't she tried to carry on with the loyally thing he was on his home patch and it didn't really

work but she just moved on to the economy and just giving him shit you know just giving him shit

she said some good lines about him she had some good lines she was fluent she was saying that he

the cold country is that enough of this pompous moralising man as she also accused him of being in

his castle wet in his bed in fear of a visit from the king of the north I mean she just was like

she was so relaxed right I mean in a weird way it doesn't make me slightly cautious about Kemi

I think like she does seem to enjoy PMQ's which I think is that's a rare gift I would say

and she asked him about the economy because this is the next thing the toys need to do is that

you know the economy will be impacted by the war and Labour will be able to pin all of that although

try to pin all of that economic impact but a lot of it you know will be pre-baked in by things

that they've done especially with unemployment and that's an insurance tax stuff like that and

in fairness you know similar to the toys with the outcome of Brexit you know a lot of that was

papered over by the pandemic right we would have seen more obvious impacts so I get that it happens

on both sides and she asked him about the economy and it started just because what I would say

and then so now the you don't answer questions thing because he's overdone it it's now part of his

negative brand and everyone opposite it's going answer the question like all PMs have done this

but this idiot is so inflexible he's done it so often that now it's a problem for him at

Brent I want to say I want to say this and he was just I don't know what's going on in his brain

he was just like mine fought in left-right and center he was just like putting words in the wrong

place he at one point he said as she wanted to get involved with our war like your whole current

positive line with the public so you didn't get involved with the war and you called it our war

and then he she asked him about Rachel Reeves about the reshuffle you know the economy is tanking

will you sack the will you will you fire the chance on he gets up twice and doesn't refute that

now maybe there's a reason maybe she heard job is in jeopardy right but the worst thing with

Starmer is I think it's even more likely possibly that it's not he just hasn't got the fucking

flexibility you know you know like you see some of those old guys walking down the street and

nighty all hunched over and you think you haven't done a single stretch in nearly a hundred years

I think Starmer is like that intellectually but you know the leadership stuff goes on it might be

that the Madison Clown Show has kind of moved on for now but you know and this talks about big

inch talk about big and she's on maneuvers she's chatting up people I don't I mean in that way

but you know in the Westminster bars and there was a story about her where it was alleged that she

got so drunk she walks into a door and it needed to be fixed now so interesting thing isn't it

in politics because a lot of Nigel Farage's strength a lot of fraud goes up every third word a lot of

his strokes is that he people say that they would they could see themselves having a pint with him

but there's a phylum between having a pint and then then being a liability you know what I mean

that's the thing with hands could she like rebrand you know this is thing with the gender

that might be like being a messy bitch could she rebrand to that it's just what I'm like what

am I like you know she's like Charlie XC X of politics you know relatable or a liability it does

even you know there is a movement within labor that they're actually using the fact that

Angie's tipping for it as as a way to bolster Starmer right to say really really really though

can you see at this point of economic and geopolitical peril can you see Angela Rainer doing all

of this I don't know you know could could anybody see you know Georgian Maloney I'm not you know I

know that Georgian Maloney's up the right but I think she's a more accomplished politician to be

honest so yeah maybe I thought I just don't see this thing with Ange happening and there's still

the issue with Burnham you know and he's he's on maneuvers in his own way he's kind of

rode back a little bit on what he said about being in hawk to the bond markets I mean he's literally

he what he said was what he said we can't be in hawk to the bond markets and then I was going

that might stop you being prime minister so he comes out and goes look I've got no issue with the

bond market these people are showing us and we're streetin you know he's probably got you know

if the Tory right want to keep continuity so if they accept that Starmer does have to go at some

point then we're streetin would almost certainly be there be their guy but you know just with the

public I've got a lot of time for streetin in some ways but I just don't think the public are there

it would come out of left field right it would for a lot of people if we're streetin with suddenly

the prime minister people go how is this small boy suddenly running the country right now don't

get me wrong he can very quickly people go wow he's good he's articulate he's coherent he's

got an actual political view but it would be a bit of a shock to the general public

so I was fully caught up on the UK politics thing here the two stories about

Farage here the reform rather and one of them was I saw this and so I'd seen a few things with

reform where various establishments clubs had been kind of so well we with this doesn't reflect

off it has been a couple football clubs haven't they what I've had a visit from Farage it was

Ipswich town and then immediately they get an online backlash in their chairman just that's

what I was annoyed and sit down talks we will learn from this as a community I have listened

it's almost so she's just practicing he's almost like that chairman it's almost like he'd always

dreamed about doing one of those apologies because it looks cool and and so I think there was

something with the English cricket bar me army I was less clear to me what had happened there

but then there was this video that circulated of a weather spoons now I'm always a bit worried about

when somebody very young goes viral for a decision made in the moment so there's a bomb

bomb in there and he's it becomes clear that he there's a group of reform voters in or local

counselors you know and he's just not going to serve them that's what he's decided and this kid

may be 1921 it's a terrible thing to do you can't do that man in a fucking democracy you can't

just say well you know you know this is a mainstream party now they mainstream by virtue of their

polling alone right and and I think this is a real problem for people that just haven't learned

with successive with elections in the West you know whether it goes right back to Hillary Clinton

talking about Trump's basket of deplorables what an incredible bit of phrase in that was I mean

it's amazing in a way that people were still surprised when Trump won the first time

we just start speaking about every day Americans we see some of them as scum yeah and some of

the Trump's boys they're kind of like they just have scummy views but some of them are scum

that's essentially what she was saying it's astonishing and and I just I think that people got a

shot coming where they they they're sort of thinking of reform as far right you know and these are

the same people that not so long ago and it always makes me laugh to reflect on this is that you

know I remember under Theresa Theresa May's government a lot of left-wing activists are saying this

is not much far right government we've ever had Theresa May who I think was in favor of self-idee

yeah just be careful what you wish for on the left so I you know as a lot of people you

would have gleaned reforms not my cup of tea exactly but I also think that they are a mainstream

party and they've been ahead in the polls for a long long time and a lot of people need to get

used to this idea right and and you can't just be lobbying people out of establishments because

you find their views or what you perceive their views are to be distasteful and then we have

then we have the negative side of reform is that Nigel Frag just got this five million pound donation

from a businessman a tech guy I think that's a level of detail this podcast goes into a tech guy

I'm brilliant Jeff yeah that clears that up and a five million quid and he didn't so he got it

before he was an MP but he didn't donate it which is still against the rules so he should have

donated it and the argument that's being given by Frag and his camp is that this money was

for personal protection for the rest of our life right so it's a smart political argument

because Nigel Frag does face significant threats of course you know milkshakes are one in the

thing but there's definitely more extreme I mean if anyone's not really alive to the idea that

left-wing violence is a thing just fucking watch the news for a couple of days you know

and you know it's been egg-donned by the fact that people just thought it was I mean do you

remember when like like they were talking about milkshakes I think Burger King do you remember that

Burger King were just just letting you know our milkshake machines are working like what the

fuck are you doing this is like they never think through the consequences they go well if that's

all right for you to do it because you don't like what they think why could somebody not milkshake

Angela Rainer right it's all right the hypocrisy is long well established but this is the thing you

kind of go personal safety I don't know man just like Morgan McSweeney does that pass the sniff test

5 million quid that does a tech billionaire looking at somebody that might be the leader of a country

right who will then have security provided for them is that the reason they give a 5 million

pounds donation is it just go ask yourself is it or are they sort of saying when you get in power

look after me all right like mode look by the way not unheard of like all donations in some ways

with his unions or big business given to the toys a big business still giving money to the toys

I don't know maybe it's just like maybe a big business is a bit like you know what I know

subscriptions that you just can't be asked to cancel they just look at their monthly accounts get

I'll fucking know that 2 million quid for the toys coming in and so I don't know man I don't know

it's a very if it is if it is an angle it's a shrewd angle because it kind of froze people

off the scent a little bit it's about safety but it sort of does throw into start contrast against

the government that have pledged for 25 million quid to make Jews more safe in the country

so Nigel for it's only that's only like five Nigel forages so so I don't know it's just worth

people sort of thinking about forage right yes there's all the positives about him he's

willing to say what some politicians aren't yes he seems like you could go down a pub of him and

he wouldn't walk into a door because he I think forage he'd just be on a steady session logger

do you know what I mean steady session logger he'd obviously have a fake occasionally and that

give him a chance to realize how drunk he was clear his head and then just you know even even go

right down to a light IPA but but there's also this other side of forage where you know with Trump

some of the things he promised against Kamala Harris he's just gone like done a fool kind of 180 on

a lot of them there is that question I think still over forage

so let's let's talk now about the King's visit to the US where he met Donald and then he

gave a speech to Congress first up I can't just give it credit to Donald Trump speech now Donald

Trump has done lots of things reaching out don't agree with scares me bad Donald's not like bad

Donald but warm Donald I've got to be honest I got a weakness for the guy when he's on

you know like when your dad's in a good mood you know in the 80s dads were in a bad mood a lot of

times but there was those that one day in 20 where they were just in high spirits you know they were

up for some high jinx and he gave his little speech about Charles and I mean he did that cringe

thing of saying that his mum kind of fancy Charles when he was younger was just playing fucking weird

but the speech and I don't think Trump wrote it but he certainly signed off on it and the speech

was a good speech about shared history and culture and shared endeavors and in some ways it was

kind of like a defense of the West right you know which a lot of politicians are afraid to do but it

was done with skill and Trump Trump didn't go script but there are times when clearly he's just

reading he's going to yell just read that and then it'll just happen upon like a phrase that he

likes and he'll just keep repeating it I'll put you on any money all of his advice kind of just

don't don't like there'll be a word in there and it'll be like you know the mountains or the hills

and you'll go I like hills and they go oh he's gonna say something about it but it was a really

nice speech and then Charles he you know he did his thing at Congress which has gone really really

well and and he has some great gags in there so I'm just gonna sort of go through a few of them

he quoted Oscar Wilde he said as Oscar Wilde said we have really everything in common with

America nowadays except of course language I mean people give him credit for that that was you

know as a comic I've got to say that's Oscar's line but it was well delivered his next laugh

was when he referenced Dickens he said this is a city which symbolises a period of our shared

history or what Charles Dickens might have called a tale of two Georgians you know good reference

for it I would King George the Ferb went a bit 90 and then George Washington so you know he's

and in little lookups the little lookups were golden every time I did a so I did the little joke

didn't I and he then he joked about his presence in the US he said he not hear some cunning rear

guard action King George never set foot in America and please rest assured oh yeah so he's not

here to kind of take the states back funny he later added that the founding fathers and sorry

I'm sorry I'll be honest I'm reading this off the independent I don't I don't think that they've

picked the five best gags the best gag was when he referred to Trump talking about the fact

if it wasn't for us you'd all be speaking German and Charles said it wasn't for us you'd always

speaking French lovely stuff you know I just want to say fair play yeah I think that that was a

great moment for the King weren't you know where we we've all gone let's be honest since the Queen

died we all gone you know we'll still struggle to even call him the King but I was like yes like

if that was like the movie about him becoming the King in the other public yeah you did something

there you know you had a grace about you you had an intelligence and unlike Trump I think he

was quite instrumental in writing that speech and then we get a little we get a little discount

on well no removal of whiskey tariffs which I don't know how much whether that's worth to the UK

economy but symbolically it's good right and I think the thing with Trump the thing with Trump

is he is in awe of the King because like the one thing he cannot buy even he knows this he cannot

press gang or leverage or bully anybody into it is to make him royalty he can have all the goody

gold fucking play it whatever but he cannot be a King right and so he's all the King is a great

card to play I mean the problem I think now is Trump's kind of activity and nothingness is

accelerating I would just say the King just just keep your passport handy in your bag packed

you might be out there a couple of times mate you know I mean he might just be back and forwards

Charles yeah we're gonna have to sorry turn the plane around you're gonna have to go back

just do you do your comedy Charles got any more gags like that up your sleeve we'll give you a

writer a cool and I'll just think it was wonderful you know I'd say King Charles you got great

comic instincts son keep keep working at it keep playing keep doing the new material nights and

within a year you could be closing the comedy store so that is the end of this breaking news

episode I'm gonna be back with I think the main episode is gonna go up I've got Ian Dailon

next week as a preview for the local elections I've got to work around Ian's schedule a bit but

be great to pick his brain about what's gonna happen big week for political nerds and also just

remind that yes I'm in a Brighton Forge comedy club on Monday the 4th of May if you fancy it

and then I'm at Leicester's Square Theatre for a bit of day drinking I really get I really want

the audience to be absolutely shockingly steamed as that I want them to I want you guys to get so

drunk that you actually shock the venue staff okay and listen I generally it's good weather at

the moment I hope it is wherever you are and I'll see you next week for another episode of what

most people think