Brutal Instagram Divorce Announcement From Reality Star; How NOT To Mix Social Media And Breakups

0:00This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human. This message is sponsored by Regeneron and Santa Fe. Janikramer does not have direct experience with the product advertised. As the mother of a child who has eczema, I know how hard it is to watch your child struggle. It's frustrating trying everything from home remedies to topical prescription creams. But when you're a mom, you never stop trying. If you feel like your child's moderate to severe eczema is an under control with topical prescription therapies, it could be time to ask their doctor about DuPixant DuPillumab. DuPixant works inside the body helping to block a key source of inflammation that can cause eczema flare-ups on the outside. DuPixant helps your child stay ahead of their eczema symptoms with clear skin and less itch, and it's not a steroid or immunosuppressant. DuPixant can be used for children as young as six months. Severe allergic reactions, including skin reactions can occur. Get help right away for face, mouth, tongue, or throat swelling, weezing or trouble breathing.

1:00Tell your doctor right away of new or worsening eye problems like eye pain or vision changes, skin symptoms, joint aches, and pain, or a parasitic infection. Don't change or stop other treatments without talking to your doctor. Visit DuPixant.com to learn more. We manage work, kids, appointments, bills, basically we keep everything moving. So if someone steals our identity, the last thing we need is another full-time job, filling out forms and chasing down accounts. I mean, it can take months to restore ID theft on your own. So what can you do? You get life lock. Life lock's restoration specialists will do the hard work for you, because life lock truly protects your time, your name, and your identity. Get life lock at lifelock.com and use promo code Amy for up to 30% off your first year. That's life lock.com code Amy. Hey, TJ, I have something that might get your attention. Well, just saying that, obviously, you got my attention.

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3:02The room just feels different. I've been thinking about that lately. And for me, that's what pura is really about. Not just adding fragrance to a space, but shaping how a room feels is second you walk into it. Pure is a smart home fragrance diffuser, but the smart part isn't really about the tech. It's about what it does to a room. I can choose from hundreds of premium fragrances from brands I already love than set the scent, intensity, and schedule right from my phone. The space responds to me, not the other way around. And honestly, the diffuser itself looks like something you'd intentionally put on a shelf. It's a modern design object that happens to change the atmosphere of your home. If you're thoughtful about how your space feels, take a look at pura. Choose your sense of place at pura.com. That's pura.com. Toyota's easy choice sales event is on. Whether you're looking for the performance of a camera, the versatility of a RAV4, the efficiency of a Corolla,

4:04or all electric driving in the BZ. There's a Toyota that's just right for you. And with great deals across the lineup, now's the time to find yours. But hurry, these deals won't last long. Toyota's easy choice sales event and soon. We make it easy. Toyota, let's go places. Hey, that folks, it is Saturday, September 12th. Obviously, there's no easy way to get the news from your spouse that they want a divorce. But you sure as hell don't want to see it on Instagram. And with that, welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. Does somebody really announce that they want a divorce on social media? Yes, this just happened. And it's a couple that we actually have been following and watching. Many of you may know that we are big fans of 90-day fiance.

5:06We love us of 90-day fiance. All versions before the 90-day, after the 90-day, that doesn't tell all the beach resort, whatever. We all about it. Yes. And so one of the couples that we followed for years are Ashley and Manuel. So if y'all know the show, it's Ashley Michelle and Manuel Vélez. And Ashley, she stands out to us because she's from Minnesota. And so she is fluent, amazing in Spanish. Her Beyonce, now husband Manuel is from Ecuador. But she would always be like, yo, Kierro. Like she's said it in the most hilarious American Midwestern accent speaking Spanish. She didn't even try to have a Spanish accent. So I've never quite heard someone do that because she was so fluent. She was so good at Spanish, but not an ounce of anything other than Midwest. Yo, me, Yamo, Ashley. Like it was very funny. But she nailed it every time. Anyway, she this week on Instagram just ahead of their fourth wedding

6:08anniversary. And we're always rooting for these couples. She put up a beautiful picture of their wedding, which we watched on television, a beautiful beach wedding, with this caption. What a shame. Tomorrow is our four-year anniversary. And I'm officially asking for a divorce. I have felt unsupported by you for years. And now when I am in my most vulnerable state, you have done nothing to support me. I am done. Do not come back to this house at Jesus Negrita Veles Rojas. Literally put his Instagram handle on the announcement. And people went wild in the comments like, is this for real? She did. She we don't know if she's officially filed a divorce. No one has seen that yet, but she actually asked the divorce and told him not to come back home on an Instagram post that now is at about 20,000 likes. Is that for real? I mean, do we really, are we supposed to feel that the first time

7:11he got a heads up about a divorce is in that post? It does appear that way. Or at least she wants us to all think that. And so then, Manuel, on his Instagram to respond, uploaded a picture of him hiking actually in a nature area. I've hiked that. I was like, oh, wow, that's an Ithaca, New York. He's going through a very famous hike. He just shows the hike. He shows a little bit of himself. And then on his Instagram story, he shows another nature photo of that same hike and says on his story, while others want to make statements, I just want peace and quiet. People kind of said that was an awesome way to respond. I mean, this is this sounds like every man woman fight I've ever heard of. I mean, it's funny, but it's crazy. And it's sad. And look, for those of you who don't know Ashley and Manuel, they're from season 10. And they met over a decade ago. She studied abroad in Ecuador. She met Manuel at a New Year's Eve party. They broke up after she moved back to the States.

8:13But they stayed pen pals. They still kept in touch. And eventually, they kind of fell in love over their pen pal state. Decided to try again, went through the 90-day fiance process. And they married in 2022. We certainly saw them have their fights. I think that's the cool thing about the show. You get to see all the problems in everyone's relationship. And it does make you feel a little bit better. Literally every single relationship has problems. And they get even harder right before people get married typically. Because there's so much stress, there's so much pressure. And they're doing it in front of the cameras. But we were, I really rooted for these two. They were funny together. I didn't realize they had made it for years. For years, they made it together. And so look, what led to the split? Everyone's trying to piece it together. Because if you go on Ashley's, we'll get to reaction soon, right? I'd like to know what people think. Okay, but go with, I will pull up the Instagram. We'll have that. All right, all right. Go ahead. Yes, but two weeks before their split, she posted, look, her whole Instagram page is her weight loss journey. She was not happy with her weight.

9:13And so she had gone through a massive transformation. And it's cute because you can go on her Instagram and see Manuel in the gym with her, trying to work out with her, trying to keep up with her. She lost a ton of weight. She looks like a baddie. She's got muscles. She's fit. She's fierce. And oftentimes when you lose a bunch of weight, you've got to, you have a lot of loose skin and all of that. So she went in two weeks ago, got a tummy tuck and a breast lift. And you even can see Manuel helping her in her hospital gown, getting into the surgery. So he was with her all along. But when she refers to, you have done, you have done nothing to support me in my most vulnerable state. She obviously is talking about this surgery and the recovery from this surgery, which is really difficult. So that is what people are believing she's referring to. But we don't know exactly what he did or what he didn't do. But she is reeling. Look, anyone who's had a massive surgery knows. This is really, really hard. My mom just had a tough surgery.

10:13We're actually here with her right now. And yes, you do need extra support from your spouse. And she's claiming he gave her none. And that was it. So she told the world on Instagram that she is divorcing Manuel. Was there anything leading up that were there? I mean, she's posting so much stuff where there's signs of trouble on Instagram, on social media before this or everything. This came out of the blue. I don't know because people are shocked. And if you go look up articles, people are trying to figure out what led to it. And they can't really figure it out. But some people wrote on her thing, I have seen it from the beginning of the show. You need a partner, not someone you have to mother constantly. Your evolution in the past couple of years has greatly surpassed his growth since he came to America. Someone said, I know you're getting a lot of congratulation comments. I mean, women are cheering her on saying, way to go. Drop him. Drop the man. Get rid of him. But this woman wrote, but I also know, even if this is for the best,

11:14your heart is still hurting. I could tell you really loved that man and gave him your whole heart. I just wanted to be the one in the comments saying it's okay to be sad about it. Even if it's what needs to happen and Ashley wrote back, I appreciate that. So look, people are, people are honestly, it's kind of surprising, or maybe it isn't surprising to you, but they are all, it seems fully in support of her. I mean, her other comments on her post, a couple thousand, she has 20,000 likes. You have worked way too hard on yourself to accept the bare minimum from any human being, let alone someone who's supposed to be your biggest support system. You deserve someone who praises you the way you praise others. This is the whole deserve things. And you've said this often, women will support other women in these types of moments when women are down and they're upset about their man. And you say almost to their own detriment, you felt like you've seen it happen plenty of times. Well, they can go both ways, right? A woman could be very into a guy that might be bad for her.

12:15And all the women around will, yeah, that's right. Yeah, he's okay and make the same excuses. And then I've seen it on the other side where it's not going well. Yeah, to hell with him, that it is not, there's sometimes not a fair impartial, I guess, voice in the room sometimes. Right. Because they're just there to comfort the woman, comfort our girlfriend and say, men are horrible, horrible, men are bad. And that is honestly what I'm seeing on here. Basically saying, I know what it's like not to be supported. A lot of people, a lot of break up, it's happened during cosmetic surgery recovery, is that true? But I'm saying, my question are people, they're supporting her, right? And what she wants to do moving forward. Well, as they're much talk about doing it this way. So a couple of people have written, and I was just about to get to that. This is so cringe to post to Instagram and tag him. She wrote back to that person, I said what I said. And then someone else wrote not as cringe as being a bad husband.

13:16So then other women went to go stand up for her when someone called her out. Someone else called her out and said, to be honest, good for you, but I'm sorry, this isn't something you post on social media with like question marks. And someone said, it's even crazier going down the comments and seeing literally everyone say, congrats, you deserve better. That's no one's place to say. So now, you know, people are going back and forth about that. But I have to say I was shocked at how little shade she got for doing this. I would have thought more people would have said, girl, I get it. Things happen. But why do you have to put it out like that and tag him? She obviously she can do whatever she wants to do and doesn't necessarily need to be criticized for it. People who someone else might do it differently. And with the thing it, we have no idea. What happened behind the scenes and what has been happening behind the scenes. This is not a matter of taking up for him. Just when things happen like this, she's completely like he's done. I mean, he's he's completely demonized, cannot defend himself.

14:17And that's fine. But I just hate when these things, when it happens like this and everybody just a mob mentality, I have no idea what you did, but she said it. He's a monster. And that's the end of the story. And that is probably what she wanted to happen. And she wanted the public support. And that's why she chose to do it this way. But there are real life consequences for throwing someone under the bus publicly like that, shaming them publicly, tagging them so that people then go on his page. And by the way, people have gone on his page and started trolling him. And saying, you're a horrible husband. Why didn't you support your wife? So yes, if that's what she wanted, that's what happened. Yeah, that's I'm man. That's tough. I mean, it is tough. Everybody do their own thing. It's just we don't know. And everything she said might be true. This is the damage that does. She loved him enough to do all this with him. And to stay married to him before years. And now I want to make sure I hurt you on at the end.

15:20You know, a lot of people might say, well, you don't know it. He did the, yes, I don't. And that's the point. And I will also say you and I both have been through breakups and public ones at that. But we always say this. And this is the one truth that comes from all of this. You don't know someone is until you divorce them. And so even if they're the most loving, wonderful people while you're in a relationship with them, you when people get hurt, people do things to hurt back. And that is what we see happen often times. And by the way, Ashley Michelle, just the latest, when we come back, remember Megan thee Stallion? She broke up with Clay Thompson in a very public and damaging way. Megan Fox, Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, there are a bunch of celebrities who have done this exact same thing. This message is sponsored by Regeneron and Santa Fe. Janik Kramer does not have direct experience with the product advertised. As the mother of a child who has eczema, I know how hard it is to watch your child struggle.

16:22It's frustrating trying everything from home remedies to topical prescription creams. But when you're a mom, you never stop trying. If you feel like your child's moderate to severe eczema isn't under control with topical prescription therapies, it could be time to ask their doctor about do Pixant, do Pilliumab? Do Pixant works inside the body helping to block a key source of inflammation that can cause eczema flare ups on the outside? Do Pixant helps your child stay ahead of their eczema symptoms with clear skin and less itch? And it's not a steroid or immunosuppressant. Do Pixant can be used for children as young as six months. Severe allergic reactions, including skin reactions, can occur. Get help right away for face, mouth, tongue, or throat swelling, weezing or trouble breathing. Tell your doctor right away of new or worsening eye problems like eye pain or vision changes, skin symptoms, joint aches, and pain, or a parasitic infection. Don't change or stop other treatments without talking to your doctor. Visit dopixant.com to learn more.

17:22We manage work, kids, appointments, bills, basically we keep everything moving. So if someone steals our identity, the last thing we need is another full-time job, filling out forms and chasing down accounts. I mean, it can take months to restore ID theft on your own. So what can you do? You get life lock. Life lock's restoration specialists will do the hard work for you because life lock truly protects your time, your name, and your identity. Get life lock at lifelock.com and use promo code Amy for up to 30% off your first year. That's lifelock.com code Amy. DJ Hero Bread has a new collab. I think people are going to want to hear about it. Yes, a twist of anti-ans hero bread pretzel bites. That's the one 16 grams of protein asserving. And heroes breakfast bagels have up to 19 grams of protein too. All right, hero. You have our attention. Go to h-e-r-o dot c-o. That's hero dot c-o and use code Amy for 10% off.

18:27All figures per serving of hero bread. See nutrition info on hero dot co. This is Tamara Judge and Teddy Melon Camp from Two Teas in a Pod. There's a moment before anyone says it out loud. The room just feels different. I've been thinking about that lately. And for me, that's what pura is really about. Not just adding fragrance to a space, but shaping how room feels is second you walk into it. Pure is a smart home fragrance diffuser, but the smart part isn't really about the tech. It's about what it does to a room. I can choose from hundreds of premium fragrances from brands. I already love then set the scent, intensity, and schedule right from my phone. The space responds to me, not the other way around. And honestly, the diffuser itself looks like something you'd intentionally put on a shelf. It's a modern design object that happens to change the atmosphere of your home. If you're thoughtful about how your space feels, take a look at pura. Choose your sense of place at pura.com.

19:28That's pura.com. Toyota's easy choice sales event is on. Whether you're looking for the performance of a camera, the versatility of a RAV4, the efficiency of a Corolla, or all electric driving in the BZ. There's a Toyota that's just right for you. And with great deals across the lineup, now's the time to find yours. But hurry, these deals won't last long. Toyota's easy choice sales event and soon. We make it easy. Toyota, let's go places. Welcome back, everyone. Yes, Ashley may have asked for a divorce from Manuel, our 90-day fiance couple that we follow for so long. On Instagram this week, but not that long ago, Megan D'Estallian, we did a whole thing on this. Remember accusing Clay Thompson of all sorts of stuff? He never clapped back, not once. And I appreciate that, but it leaves.

20:29And it leaves that void for everybody to fill in the blanks to call him whatever he can't defend himself. No, and he hasn't. And she got specific. Her post was cheating, had me around her whole family plan. House got cold feet holding you down through all your horrible mood swings and treatment towards me during your basketball season. Now you don't know if you could be monogamous, bitch, I need a real break after this one by y'all. And that is how she broke up with him in front of everybody. Megan Fox did the same thing. She started, she split from machine gun Kelly after she shared a cryptic Instagram post and then deleted her account and let everyone know that something was up, but she did it on Instagram first. Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, I didn't realize this. They had a very public Instagram beef. Justin threatened to make his Instagram private. If the hate didn't stop after they broke up, right? So Selena goes on to that post and says, if you can't handle the hate, then stop posting pictures

21:31of your girlfriend. It should be special between you two only. Don't be mad at your fans. And then Justin gets on to reply, hurt to her, saying it's funny to see people that used me for attention. And still try to point the finger this way. So sad. So they were literally publicly beefing on each other's Instagram pages on comments. I'm gonna be honest with you, baby. I forgot they did. And there's a reason I forgot. I was trying to forget. Everybody's moved on. Why did you have to bring this back? Right. Well, how about Rihanna? I forgot about this one. She took a shot at all her exes in one post. And this was 10 years ago. Obviously she's very happy now with ASAP Rocky. But she wrote into a post, none of my exes are married or in happy relationships. So it's safe to say that I wasn't the problem. LOL. We love her too much to criticize. There's that's kind of hilarious. Yes, but obviously the experts out there, relationship experts say there are clear do's and don'ts when it comes to breaking up and social media.

22:32Look, this is what they say. It's obvious. It is tempting. It is tempting to just put it out there, to get the support that you want, the public support and a lot of celebrities know they have platforms and know they have fans. And so if they're hurt and they're feeling sad, to go out there and throw their ex under the bus or break up online or say they know they're going to get support. And that's why they do it because it's tempting. But they say the best thing you can possibly do if you are in the middle of a messy breakup is to go cold turkey. Do not even go on your social media. Because you might be tempted. So turn your phone off for at least a week. Keep it to yourself. They say it is never a good idea to post publicly about your breakup or to bad mouth your ex. It doesn't ever end well. I think we know this intellectually, but maybe we have to be reminded. Yeah, post do what everybody else does. Just call with tabloids. That works too. Right?

23:33I mean, this is what people do. But they say, and this is this is about just being a good human being. However badly your ex may have treated you or however badly you think they treated you, two wrongs do not make a right. And that is the golden rule when it comes to breakups and social media. Two wrongs do not make a right. And you would be sitting here with some group of girlfriends around you. Some people might even be listening to it. Whatever. He blabbed a lot and he deserves that. That mindset. I just, I just wrote the dough just like you said, some folks know they have a platform. You I'm going to sick my five million followers on you. They that is it's not okay. And no matter what, baby, you cannot justify. That's an intentional move to do harm. Baby, that stuff. I every celebrity knows what those comments feel like. You've gone into depression over those comments. You avoid reading things because you can't hand.

24:35And you're going to do that to somebody. I just, whatever she's going through, I don't know. So I don't know. And I don't I shouldn't side with her or him. That's not what we're talking about with, baby. I just I wish she hadn't. It's tough, right? And I've been checking because she posted this midweek. And I've checked every day to see if maybe she'd take it down. Maybe a cooler head would prevail. Nope. It's still up in the comment. And she is commenting on the comments. Like she is reacting to people who either support her or tell her. And I would tell you, it's overwhelmingly in support of her. Because that's what women do. And I think that she knows and a lot of women know that they will get their team of girls around her to make her feel lifted up. But there is actually a real consequence to that. And whatever man well did or what he didn't do that was wrong, I still feel for the guy because there really isn't a good next move for him for quite Thompson. For any of the other men who get called out publicly for doing something that they really like

25:36how do you defend yourself in that situation? Because at least in Rose, we know in some of these circumstances, our connections to people that some of these stories are absolutely not true. These guys, some of them are getting called out by big celebrities and big breakups. And it's we know it's false. We actually know and we're bit please say something, say something. We were in the same position. Say something. We didn't know the game. But I bet you didn't say anything and we should have. Anybody says I'm left handed. I will defend it. I will hop on immediately and correct that record. Nope, I'm all righty. It's that kind of thing. I mean, you don't know, babe, this stuff just gets going and playing and then well, we'll forever be stamped. You can't get it back. It's really hard to get back. So just remember to be kind and that two wrongs don't make a right however tempting it may feel in the moment.

26:36Put down the phone everybody. All right, and with that, we always appreciate you listening to us. I'm Amy Robach alongside TJ Holmes. We'll talk soon. We manage work, kids, appointments, bills, basically we keep everything moving. So if someone steals our identity, the last thing we need is another full-time job filling out forms and chasing down accounts. I mean, it can take months to restore ID theft on your own. So what can you do? You get life lock. Life lock's restoration specialists will do the hard work for you. Because life lock truly protects your time, your name, and your identity. Get life lock at lifelock.com and use promo code Amy for up to 30% off your first year. That's lifelock.com code Amy.

27:36TJ Hero Bread has a new collab. I think people are going to want to hear about. Yes, a twist of anti-ans hero bread pretzel bites. That's the one 16 grams of protein asserving. And heroes breakfast bagels have up to 19 grams of protein too. All right, hero. You have our attention. Go to h-e-r-o dot c-o that's hero dot c-o and use code Amy for 10% off. All figures per serving of hero bread see nutrition info on hero dot co. This is Tamara Judge and Teddy Melon Camp from Two Teas in a Pod. There's a moment before anyone says it out loud. The room just feels different. I've been thinking about that lately. And for me, that's what pura is really about. Not just adding fragrance to a space, but shaping how a room feels is second you walk into it. Pure is a smart home fragrance diffuser, but the smart part isn't really about the tech. It's about what it does to a room. I can choose from hundreds of premium fragrances from brands I already love

28:39than set the scent, intensity, and schedule right from my phone. The space responds to me, not the other way around. And honestly, the diffuser itself looks like something you'd intentionally put on a shelf. It's a modern design object that happens to change the atmosphere of your home. If you're thoughtful about how your space feels, take a look at pura. Choose your sense of place at pura.com. That's pura.com. Toyota's easy choice sales event is on. Whether you're looking for the performance of a camera, the versatility of a RAV4, the efficiency of a Corolla, or all electric driving in the BZ. There's a Toyota that's just right for you. And with great deals across the lineup, now's the time to find yours. But hurry, these deals won't last long. Toyota's easy choice sales event and soon. We make it easy. Toyota, let's go places.

29:48This is an I Heart Podcast.