The rule of St. Benedict for daily life, learning to listen to God with a discerning heart,

I'm Chris McGregor.

Seeking the face of God, episode 41.

St. Anselm now helps us take another step.

If the last movement was about faith seeking understanding, this one is about what happens

when the soul remains before God and doesn't turn away.

St. Anselm understands that the spiritual life isn't sustained by insight alone.

There are times when the soul sees clearly and there are times when it doesn't.

There are times when truth seems near and luminous and times when it feels hidden.

What matters then isn't whether the soul can grasp God, but whether it will remain

turned toward Him.

That belongs deeply to the Benedictine way.

The holy rule teaches perseverance and prayer, not because every hour is full of consolation,

but because fidelity matters more than spiritual immediacy.

Stability teaches the soul not to run when clarity is withheld.

It teaches the heart to remain.

From the writings of St. Anselm of Canterbury.

I seek your face, Lord, your face, Lord, I seek.

Do not turn your face away from me.

This prayer from St. Anselm is simple, but it carries the weight of real spiritual experience.

He isn't speaking to someone who has solved the mystery of God.

He's speaking of someone who knows the soul must keep seeking.

That matters because one of the temptations in the spiritual life is the temptation to

stop seeking when understanding doesn't come quickly.

The mind wants resolution.

The heart wants reassurance that can hold on to.

We want an answer that feels settled, clear and secure.

But St. Anselm knows that God isn't reduced to what we can contain.

He isn't mastered by thought nor possessed by feeling.

It's something very important.

He teaches the soul to remain in desire.

I seek your face, Lord.

That is in the prayer of someone who has walked away because the way is difficult.

It's the prayer of someone who stays.

It's the prayer of a soul that has learned that seeking God is itself part of loving him.

This is where St. Anselm becomes deeply contemplative.

He isn't searching in order to bring the search to an end.

He's searching in order to remain rightly ordered to the one he loves.

And this is very close to what conversion really is.

We often speak of conversion as though it were only a past event, something that happened

once and is now complete.

But it's an action of the heart.

It's the continual moving toward God again and again through light and obscurity,

Euclarity and mystery, through consolation and dryness.

The desire itself is holy when it remains turned toward him who is love.

Prayer doesn't collapse because God remains mystery.

It becomes more reverent, more faithful, and more rooted in its ongoing return.

That's very important for us.

There are seasons when prayer feels quiet, hidden or even unanswered.

There are times when we don't feel close to God and times when truths of faith seem

harder to hold with warmth or clarity.

In those moments, a person may begin to think something's wrong or that he has failed

or that he must force some kind of resolution.

St. Aslam helps us resist that impulse.

He reminds us that fidelity isn't the same as immediate clarity.

Sometimes the deepest prayer isn't the prayer that explains, but the prayer that stays.

The soul says, Your face, Lord, I seek, and keep saying it.

Even when the seeking feels poor, even when the understanding is complete, and even when

nothing seems to move.

This belongs fully with a Benedictine way.

Stability teaches the soul not to flee.

Humility teaches it not to demand mastery.

Obedience teaches it to remain under what has been given.

Not to cast it aside because the way feels hidden.

The whole Benedictine life prepares the person for this kind of prayerful patience.

And there's something else here too.

To seek the face of God isn't only to seek answers.

It's to seek relationship.

The face is personal.

St. Aslam isn't asking for information.

He's asking not to be separated.

Do not turn your face away from me.

This is the language of love, longing, and fidelity.

That's why this prayer is so fitting as we draw near to holy wake.

The soul seeks the face of the Lord not because it already sees everything clearly, but because

it knows where life is found.

It stays near Christ.

It remains turned toward Him.

It waits before Him.

To ask to behold Him more fully, even if that beholding comes slowly.

Christ remains at the center here as well.

In Him the face of God is made known, and yet even in Christ, the mystery is never exhausted.

The more the soul comes to know Him, the more it desires Him.

It's the beginning of contemplation.

Love deepens because it knows there is always more to receive.

So St. Aslam is giving us something very steady here.

He's teaching us not to abandon desire because we can't yet see fully.

He's teaching us that the soul can remain before God with reverence, patience, and holy

longing.

It doesn't need to possess in order to live.

It doesn't need to resolve in order to remain faithful.

To seek the face of God is already to be drawn by grace and to remain there without turning

away is already a form of love.

I seek your face, Lord.

Your face, Lord, I seek.

Do not turn your face away from me.

For listening to Scripture allow your body to settle.

Remain still, let your attention rest without reaching forward or pulling away.

This posture supports reverence, patience, and quiet desire.

We now turn to Psalm 27, verse 8.

You have said, seek my face.

My heart says to you, your face, Lord, do I seek.

You have said, seek my face.

My heart says to you, your face, Lord, do I seek.

You have said, seek my face.

My heart says to you, your face, Lord, do I seek.

Lord Jesus Christ, draw our hearts to seek you and teach us to remain before you with patience,

reverence, and love.

When understanding is incomplete, keep desire alive in us.

And let us turn away from your face, amen.

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