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About this Episode
Don't have time to listen to the entire Dave & Chuck the Freak podcast? Check out some of the tastiest bits of the day, including a dude who threw chicken at his sister during an argument, the creepy thing that you found, the worst thing that happened to your b-hole and more!
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I'm taking Cameron Booser for higher than 22 and a half points, and Dylan Darling for higher than 6 and a half points.
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You get a valet to guy to park it, you know, he doesn't do that right who doesn't do that.
Just throw that bag of jewels in the bag.
Sure, we got to go for dinner.
He also stole someone's $100,000 bag worth of jewels too.
Does every Rolls Royce just come with one of those?
I want to find a bag of jewels like that.
That'd be sweet.
I promise I'll steal it.
Here's the story of this guy from WSBTV.
Say it's a dent in what they're calling a car theft ring.
They were victims of.
My insurance wasn't doubled since this car was stolen from like 30,000 to 60,000.
Police arrested last parking valet employee Osman Jalow and charged him with theft by taking
it stems from the theft of this Rolls Royce from the Thompson Hotel in Bucket.
The wear say their car was found months later in Houston, Texas.
We go downstairs and the car is not there.
Yeah, I spoke with the wearers who showed me surveillance video, the incident.
Jalow is seen walking up to the passenger's side of this Cadillac.
Giving the Cadillac driver the man in the white shirt, the keys to wear Rolls Royce.
The man gets in the Rolls Royce starts it and drives off.
Everybody that had any doing is what we want them all arrested.
And this arrest warrant investigators wrote Jalow did not have permission to have the vehicle
that's worth more than $450,000.
For me, it's a grand theft auto charge, basically, especially with the price of the car.
Jalow denied stealing the car in this cell phone video.
The wear is recorded after confronting him.
I discovered this isn't Jalow's first time being charged with theft by taking.
In 2020, he was arrested while working the valet at an Atlanta Western hotel.
This warrant says he was seen on surveillance video stealing a Louis Vuitton back,
carrying more than $100,000.
It's a Louis Vuitton.
Yeah, only by the Louis Vuitton.
I like the Louis brand, Louis Vuitton.
Louis Vuitton, jewelry inside.
Yeah, $103,000 worth of jewelry inside the bag.
Last parking said an statement while last believes that much of the information that is coming out
is incorrect.
The company nonetheless takes these complaints very seriously.
We successfully valet and store a great number of vehicles each day and we thoroughly investigate
every incident.
If he successfully stole that much of it.
And last also stated that he's got to be rich by now.
Right, where did all the money still work in?
He's still working the valet.
Yeah, they probably put to a pawn shop and got what?
A couple of grand, maybe four.
I don't know.
Maybe he got something else after that.
I don't know what I do with the bag of jewelry.
The security procedures, they also stated these incidents are just a small fraction compared to the number
of cars they park on a daily basis.
Atlanta police tell us that their investigation into this incident is ongoing.
I mean, I guess if I was a shady valet guy, I don't have to be the one that steals it.
All I have to be is the guy who's like, all right, I parked it in this slot.
It's a Rolls Royce dude.
It's 450 grand.
I'm going back to work.
You guys do what you do.
And then they steal it.
You know, I just,
I have to be is the eyes for them.
Imagine your car insurance is 60 grand.
No, that's what that guy said.
He was paying 30 grand.
Yeah, obviously insurance and now is paying 60 grand because it doubled.
Yeah, I mean, it's obviously not that big a deal when you buy a car like that.
You have enough people.
It doesn't look like from their place.
I thought the same thing.
I didn't want to say it, but I was like, boy, it's like you bought a Rolls Royce,
but then you went to target for your furniture.
Like it's wild choices, right?
Wild choices.
Yeah, some people are like that.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I mean, maybe they bought a used Rolls Royce.
I don't know.
I think we're going to spend 30 grand a year to ensure it.
Yeah, how do you, I don't know.
That's not.
That's wild.
Holy smokes.
Not smart, but I'm always
like I never like to valet.
No, I lead it.
I never do it.
But there's some places where you kind of have to do it or you can't
like you otherwise you're going to park blocks away.
Yeah, I just don't like it.
The only times I had to do it, I had like my Saturn on me.
Like that's what I'm driving.
Like here, you can key-steel it.
You know what, take this code.
Don't come back with it.
If it's never, it's found again, that's fine.
It's worth $20.
Yeah.
20-year-old man is behind bars,
charged with launching fried chicken at his sister
during a clash in the Florida residents they share.
Give some of a bitch.
The poultry pelting occurred in the clearwater home of Kanye Medley and his sibling
during a verbal altercation.
Medley grabbed a bag of fried chicken and began whipping
pieces at her.
You know, don't waste chicken because you don't have all
entertaining.
One piece of fried chicken did hit her in the face, leaving debris on her shoulder.
After being read his rights,
the brother reportedly admitted that he did throw pieces of chicken at her,
one of which may have hit her.
The motive for the chicken flinging.
He had not eaten.
Hungry and did not want the dark meat chicken that she left for him and he became upset
when he realized she ate all the white meat.
I mean, I could understand being a little upset.
I'll still eat it.
I don't like it that much.
I'll still eat it.
It's not my favorite.
But I'll eat it.
I'll eat it right now.
Despite that defense, he was arrested for domestic battery, a misdemeanor,
and booked into the county jail.
The 230 pound guy was arrested for allegedly slamming a door on his sister.
They probably shouldn't live near each other or live each other.
I mean, that's time.
They got to get their own places, right?
Yeah, it's clear.
His hair also the color of fried chicken.
Yes, it is.
Exactly.
You're not wrong.
He said, give me the fried chicken look.
I want to feel like the guy was like an artist.
A little bit.
He kind of like made some parts look crispier.
Look, yeah, look at the next to fried chicken.
Yeah.
He's got fried chicken hair.
He really does.
That's how much he has a passion for it.
Yeah, I think it's funny.
The cops had to be like, yeah, right there, chicken debris.
Bagging.
We ran some fingerprints off his chicken.
The state attorney has declined to pursue felony counts
after his sister declared she did not want to see her brother prosecuted.
Although now she's called the cops on him twice.
Yeah, they need to be a part.
Yeah, it seems like they do.
It seems like they can't be living together anymore.
My hair to be golden brown.
Crispy in parts.
Yeah, lighter on the side, darker in the middle.
It is an interesting look.
Yeah, it is.
Great Dave and Chuck the Freaks Tasty Bits podcast on iTunes or Google Play.
The tournament is back.
The upsets are inevitable and underdog is the best place to get in on all the action.
Playing on underdog is easy.
Just pick whether your favorite players will go higher or lower on stats like
points, rebounds, steals, and more.
Get your picks right and you can win up to 5,000 times your cash.
I love playing on underdog and this week I'm looking at the Duke for St. John's Match
up in the sweet 16.
I'm taking Cameron Booser for higher than 22 and a half points
and Dylan Darling for higher than six and a half points.
Download the app today and use promo code Dave and Chuck to score 50 dollars in
bonus entries when you play your first five dollars.
That's promo code Dave and Chuck.
Underdog make picks win money.
In New York, call the 247 Hope Line at 1-877-8 Hope N-Y or text Hope N-Y 467-369.
Oh, what's wrong?
You and Candy for breakfast again, didn't you?
It's not a problem, Dave.
It's a lifestyle.
Look at you.
You're a mess.
I've got a better way to start your day and satisfy that sweet tooth.
Go on.
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All that nostalgia, Candy Style flavor, zero sugar.
Zero sugar?
Yeah, a portable two-ounce shot with a tasty caffeine kick.
So I get the sweet flavor without actually eating candy.
Exactly.
Thanks, Dave.
I'm going to grab some on my way home from getting my dinner cake.
Oh, you're hopeless.
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Like when I was swimming in Mexico and you found the human skull.
I, well, it was teeth and hair.
Guess where that comes from?
Well, I know, but I didn't see the whole skull.
It was just teeth and hair.
It was just a jaw, man's jaw.
It was just a man's jaw, right?
Medical waste.
No, it's the story I'm living with.
What that is helps me sleep at night.
But what about you?
You were made some kind of light-hearted,
dark-sided discovery, not too dark.
Not too dark.
I mean, you didn't, you know, head blown off too dark.
Oh, my God.
Right.
Yeah, that's too dark.
Yeah, still trying to keep it light.
One, eight, five, five, nine, five, four, six, nine, six, nine,
if you've got something dark and light.
One, eight, five, five, nine, five, four, six, nine, six, nine.
You can text us at four, six, nine, six, nine.
Here's the story about this teenager in Cape Coral
that was out kayaking.
Hmm.
And found a human skull.
NBC2 with the details here.
Let's take a listen in.
You never know what you're going to find in Cape Coral canals.
In this one off Kismet Parkway in Northeast 19th Avenue,
a couple kayakers found a human skull
that's now in the hands of medical examiners.
A mother told me her son found the skull
while kayaking in their neighborhood canal.
They contacted Cape Coral Police.
Wow, I mean, I can't even imagine I love kayaking,
so it must have been, you know, a little bit frightening
to be on the water and to identify something like that.
Sarah Ares Briggsby works for the Florida Public Archaeology Network.
We spoke with her just a few months ago.
When someone found a human jaw along the shore of Captiva Island,
not like people are finding human remains super frequently,
but it's not like it's never happening either.
If you ever think you've come across human remains,
Sarah says the best thing to do is to take a picture
and contact law enforcement.
And then the police can also talk you through what to do
because imagine if you come across, you know,
some kind of crime scene, right?
You wouldn't want to move anything
because that could potentially tell an important part of the story.
At this point, Kay Coral Police say the skull
is not linked to any other investigation.
Sarah says if the skull is beyond 75 years old,
it'll be sent to state archaeologists.
I'm reporting in Northeast Cape Coral, Rachel Eilin, NBC2.
Why is it weird?
The people that discover bodies.
Like what a weird experience.
I just, yeah, it is.
I feel like you're, you know,
I do one of these things that could lead me to discover a body,
which is weird,
but I'm out in the middle of nowhere,
in the middle of some forest somewhere.
And there's just always a chance
that some wacko
chose the forest that we're metal detecting in
and that one of the guys could find something that's weird.
You know,
and like we found skulls of animals
and different things like that,
but obviously never a, a human.
Like we found an Indian burial ground one time,
but we were like, okay, let's,
let's go, let's go, let's go,
we give it an offering, we give it an offering.
And we got it guys.
That's not what you want to find either.
No, no.
Something that smoked a joint,
lays with PCP accidentally.
Random guys showed up, party so hard with us.
He ran naked off a second floor balcony,
straight through the wooden railing and into the woods.
We never saw him again.
PCP will do that.
He's still running.
I think they say, come on.
We're guy, he's gone.
Yeah, he's gone.
It's fine.
I'd be so upset if somebody accidentally
accidentally ingested PCP.
Oh man.
We're like, just got there from the woods.
Yeah.
That's a lot.
Oh, which one did you smoke?
Have you smoked any clothes?
Yeah.
I appreciate what you did.
Yeah.
I thought you'd like that.
I thought that was a good time.
Not a fun time.
No.
No.
Found out.
The man my mom married was in prison
for murdering two people.
And he got out.
She hid it from me and my family.
So you think that she knew the whole time?
That seems like it.
Oh, yeah.
What a fun Google search that was.
Yeah, right.
Like, oh, man, who is this guy?
What did dad do?
No.
Step dad, I guess.
It's always wild when people will murder people
and they get like 15 years.
Yeah, they don't get a lot of time.
That happens sometimes.
This is really weird.
That's a lot of yeah, it is.
I didn't think it was going to go well, Dave.
What did people find, Dave?
What's better than expected?
Well, I mean, we started off with the example was
found human skull, right?
But that could be just, you know,
been there for a few decades and decades and decades.
You know, the first thing we do,
it's like sets a sets like a
a tone.
Yes, that's a tone sets a bolder
in motion that can't be stopped.
Cousin, skip that or to go fishing with a buddy
on the Detroit River, they caught a dead man.
Well, yeah, I've seen those magnet fishing videos
where they've caught like dead, they pulled up dead bodies before.
Oh, yeah, there was one here where they
something was wrapped in chains.
Yeah, that was, I've seen the same one.
And I think it was ended up being a dog.
Oh, no, I saw a body.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, the news was called for this story.
He was on the news and his boss wasn't pissed
because he took, called in sick to go fishing.
Oh, Jesus, you find a dead body.
Don't go on the news.
No, no, I don't want to find one.
And just see, I mean, to me, just see,
I wouldn't be that emotionally devastated, honestly.
Yeah, it'd just be more like, oh, man,
I like, I have my own afternoon.
I don't want to be involved in like,
at all, something much bigger.
Well, then does it kind of get weird for you?
That's what I'm going to write too.
Yeah, that's what I'm wondering.
We lived on five acres of land.
Our golden retriever was always out running the property.
One day he came in and he had some blood on his face.
We went out looking, we found a severed human leg
called the police and ended up being a gigantic investigation.
Oh, how did that leg get on your property?
Where was that?
Do we know?
Doesn't say I just say lived on five acres.
Yeah, super weird.
Somebody needs that leg.
Yeah, someone is missing a leg.
They probably don't need it as much as they used to.
Wow, yeah, I would assume they're all gone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just bits and bits.
Now, Court, you had a dark side of discovery recently.
Is that right?
Yeah, we just bought our first house and we hosted some people.
And the guests discovered an animal cemetery in our backyard.
No, oh my goodness.
The guests discovered it?
Yeah.
Have you seen the movie pet cemetery?
Yeah, you got to say the ground gone south.
I don't know.
Never sleep.
Yeah, like five or six different animals, um, skeletons fully like.
So the previous owner's pets?
I don't know.
These teeth don't look like dog.
We tried to do some investigating and it's not dog and it's not cat.
Like horse.
What do you mean?
Not big enough to be horse?
Like, but like not you, you're sure not human.
You would have to be a really ugly human.
Yeah, they exist, but yeah.
But I mean, like they the jaw structure was yeah, but it didn't like,
you know, how like dogs they've got the canines.
Like we found what seemingly was a dog skull or like a coyote skull.
And you know, it's like it looks like a miniature like wolf.
Skull.
So what could this be?
I don't know.
What would you be three?
We're thinking, uh, possum?
Possum pet possums.
I mean, possums.
Like possums.
Would it be their pet or maybe they ate the meat?
No, the bones.
Oh, why would you just roll?
What kind of rolls did you kill?
I was like this old wooden cabin in the woods.
Oh, yeah, you're gonna kill me.
Yeah, it's a normal house.
Yeah, this house was new.
You're doomed possum pet.
You bought a killer's house.
No, no, no, no.
We're in road killer.
Well, okay, not to, I don't want to get too dark-sided here.
I'm going to, but, but a lot of times that's how they start out, right?
Like the Donner's.
They kill animals, yeah.
And then they go and they got a hide them all.
Oh my god.
No big deal, though, a court.
Yeah, no, he's, uh, no good.
Someone said found a full human finger
in the foam match during gym class in elementary school.
Someone's going to need that.
Yeah.
Parents freaked out since we picked it up
and we're teasing girls with it.
Oh, you freaks.
They picked it up.
You don't pick it up.
Who lost a finger at gym?
Someone knows whose finger that is.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Someone died in one of those mats one time.
Buddy found a frozen guy
in the Packard plant in Detroit a couple of years ago.
Scary as F.
Homeless.
That's no fun.
Every once in a while I'm in like a really
what I would say is not a great place to be in Detroit
because there's a lot of old parks and like old homes
that no one metal detecting.
Yeah, we metal detect them.
It's just you just never know, man.
You never know.
Yeah.
Let's go to John who's in Wolverine Lake, Michigan.
Hi, John.
Hey, Dave.
Uh, when I was, uh,
scooping in my basement and I found a human skull
and like a black
cakes with a lot of flats on it.
Is the basement in your house?
Yeah, my house.
Yep.
What was it?
I brought it up at dinner and my mom was like,
oh, that's mine.
It was like yours.
Okay.
And she was like, yeah, that's from dental school.
Right.
Like what?
I do a little more David and my friend.
I don't know any other dumb moment.
No, I asked her about it recently because I was like
hey, uh, that's on my list of things I want.
You know, when, uh, when you pass, you want the skull?
Hell yeah, dude, that's the coolest thing I've ever found.
Okay.
You can look at it that way, I guess.
That's a more positive upbeat take than I had.
Yeah.
I'm still thinking about courts dinner party.
Uh, let's know this friend's signing skulls.
He's got a lot of Instagrams.
It's so long.
It's so long.
Instagram.
So you were serving your friends.
You were having like a party.
Yes.
Like it was then they found possible.
Maybe I was in the kitchen cooking, uh, normal meat.
And I hear a scream coming from the backyard.
I go and investigate.
They find these skeletons.
A plethora of skeletons.
I'm really like sorry about that.
Let's go see.
Thanks for coming to our home for a burger.
Oh my gosh.
I can't imagine.
No, come on.
So these things were just exposed.
Yeah, it's got to be an answer.
Yeah, it's what we're trying to make them do.
I just fascinated by that.
I know.
It's a party aspect of it.
If I must have been exposed,
like how would they, they wouldn't have dug things up
and as a party of orders?
There's like, hello.
Hey, have some more dirt.
What a skull.
You guys have adventures.
We've got terrifying skeletons.
What do you mean a pet cemetery?
You have a pet cemetery and you're back here.
Oh, what are those?
There's a mini wheel.
Oh, yeah.
Have one.
That's my order.
Hmm.
Pets are too.
Don't even get a great job or a cheese bowl.
Yeah, I'll take one.
Yeah, we're not sure what they are.
They cost almost like not quite dog
and not quite human, you know.
Well, dang it.
We don't know what.
We got some bagel bites coming your way here.
Well, good.
Keep the food coming because we're really going to have
to try and take our minds off
of the cemetery that we found everybody.
After we're done eating, let's go dig through the bones.
I that or call the authorities.
I'm not sure which one we should do.
Yeah.
This one's definitely a possum.
I mean, but possum, they still have the same
like sharp teeth and stuff.
Like they, you wouldn't be able to tell a possum
and a raccoon and a dog.
Like they all kind of look the same.
Don't you think?
I don't know what this was.
Yeah.
I would have just talked like that, dude,
from pet cemetery the entire night.
Oh, for sure.
This is the only place that I did.
You don't want to go down that road.
Yeah, the grounds gone south.
So I'm like a piece of tape coming up a leather.
Oh, man, there was a bottle of ether buried next to them as well.
Oh, no, you've come across something quite terrifying.
So that's a killer stat.
Yeah, dude, you have no problem with it though.
Is it ether like what you'd put over someone's face
to like make them?
I believe so.
That's what they say in the movies.
You know, it's like a drug people use ether.
It's creepy.
And it's septic to prevent infection when an injection
is administered into the body.
Court, please don't invite us all.
But it was like it was just an anesthetic in hospitals.
Like you can, I think it can for sure knock you out.
Yeah, yeah.
Nothing like it.
You just can't.
Anyway, another bagel bite.
That's a bagel bite.
And we're so excited to finally be able to host, too.
And now they're never going to come down.
No, they'll never come back.
They took pictures of it and posted it on their Instagram.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I could probably find pictures.
Oh my god, you have to come back.
We are going to do fondue.
But what about fondue?
No, you have a pet cemetery.
Or what I think is actually a serial killer's playground.
So there was a benty bottle of ether and bones and bones.
No reason to recognize the motif.
It doesn't show me mold.
Some creatures that look like nothing you've seen.
We can't find it online.
What the hell's going on there?
So what I'm saying, like what are the shape of these teeth?
I need to see these teeth.
I know you're fascinated by it.
I need to see the teeth.
It's just people with pets that we've never seen.
Barred them here.
Like you can understand people get attached to pets
and they sometimes bury them on their property.
And then you buy their place and then you do some gardening
and you find their dog.
Like the poor girls that live across the street.
For me, they had something die.
I believe it was like a hamster.
I saw them walk over and do a big ceremony
where they've now put a road over top of it.
So you know, you find stuff from time to time.
I guess you do.
You just don't want to have an animal bulter, guys.
I don't want to find it when all of my friends are over either.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And also, I think we'd have to have a talk like,
hey, we can't put this on our social media.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
Okay.
Download Dave and check the Freak's Tasty Bits Podcast
on iTunes or Google Play.
Ugh.
What's wrong?
You and Candy for breakfast again, didn't you?
It's not a problem, Dave.
It's a lifestyle.
Look at you.
You're a mess.
I've got a better way to start your day.
And satisfy that sweet tooth.
Go on.
Cotton candy and fruity rainbow five-hour energy shots.
All that nostalgia, candy style flavor, zero sugar.
Zero sugar.
Yeah, a portable two-ounce shot with a tasty caffeine kick.
So I get the sweet flavor without actually eating candy?
Exactly.
Thanks, Dave.
I'm going to grab some on my way home from getting my dinner cake.
Ugh, you're hopeless.
Leave a rating for Dave and Chuck the Freak's Tasty Bits Podcast
on iTunes or Google Play.
Lisa?
Yeah.
Rachel said, oh, no, what's happening next?
Here's a question for you.
Oh, here.
Dave, question everyone.
What's the most embarrassing thing you found on a general?
What's the worst thing to happen to your behold?
Well, the worst thing that's ever happened to your behold,
because one guy, he believes his wife
gave him a chemical burn back there.
And I'll tell you how she did it in a minute.
But the worst thing that's ever happened to your behold,
if you want to share it with us, one eight five five nine five four six nine six nine
is the number one eight five five nine five four six nine six nine.
Or you can text us at four six nine six nine.
Because this kind gesture turned into a special kind of pain.
And now a man is wondering if his wife has a right to be pissed off at him.
He's 33 and he's been having issues with lower back pain,
which makes playing with his one-year-old difficult.
His wife, who's 35, who he says is super amazing and thoughtful,
decided to help him out by running him a hot bath,
so he could soak in it and kind of help his back.
Okay.
Within a few minutes of getting into the tub, he said,
his back door started to tingle.
Two minutes later, it was like his b-hole was on fire.
He called for his wife, who ran into the bathroom frantically.
He had to bend over and spread his cheeks
for her to check out what was going on.
Nope, not doing that.
Is it a bath?
Yeah, I'm guessing epsom salts or something.
She put something.
She put in a jar of Vicks vapor crystals.
Oh, what in the world?
I mean, isn't that just to breathe in?
I don't think it's deep in the bath with you.
I don't think you get in with him, do you?
So he wrote about the story online saying now he's getting the silent treatment.
I can't show you my b-hole and think that it's going to work out.
I can't.
They're married.
They have a kid.
That doesn't matter.
I mean, that's the end of the marriage.
Well, just, you know, here, I got these papers for you to sign.
We're done.
You can't stare and try and find something wrong with it.
Why is it burning?
You can't.
She thinks he's a jerk for making fun of her for trying to make him feel better.
But he feels like she should have known that never should have been put in that.
I feel like he might be lucky that his b-hole was sensitive and gave him a heads up that maybe
the rest of him started to burn.
I don't know what it would do to you.
Honestly, I have no idea.
Maybe it would do nothing.
Maybe it was just like icy hot on the butthole.
Like, I don't know.
That's probably what it was like, you know, just freak, you know, hurt or whatever.
Yeah.
We're just going to lose one.
Maybe it's more loose.
It seems like a big to do about nothing though, really.
Yeah.
I mean, it'll be all right.
Everything's going to be all right for everybody.
You're not going to hold down a little bit.
Yeah, you're right.
I need to chill out a little bit too.
She needs to just chill.
Everybody needs to chill.
I mean, also though, like you can't just jump out of a bathtub spread and
get an audience around.
It's happening.
It looks like it's made for the past.
It just seems like it would be kind of a tense, you know, harmful.
She must have put a lot of them.
Maybe it's as harmful as swallowed or put in mouth.
Doesn't say harmful of put in behold.
I guess beholds a little loose.
Maybe there's a man enjoying it right there.
Yeah.
So it was meant for that, but maybe it was too much or he was sensitive.
That stuff can be rough.
Maybe he had a slight little fissure or something in there.
He's only got in the cut.
He's got camp for, camp for.
How do you say that?
And menthol, eucalyptus, all that stuff's burning.
Yeah.
And if he had a big roly or something,
maybe it was a big roly.
I'm just saying, what if he had a roly?
You don't know.
It would burn.
I think it would burn.
I think it would burn.
Is it worth talking about and being so upset?
Sure isn't.
I mean, that's when it's wild that they can't.
And they can't go to TGI Fridays and get this one.
I'll tell you what, too.
If I, okay.
So I don't care if I'm married,
if I have a long time girlfriend or whatever
and like I get in a bath and then I'm like.
Whoa.
I figure it out on my own.
Yeah.
I was going to be like, you're in on my own.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not getting there.
I can't see my own my own.
I'm not getting there.
I'm going to need a little help.
I'm setting up a mirror.
I'm, I don't know, wherever I am.
Unless I feel like I've been shot back there,
is maybe the only time I'd have my wife,
I'd spread my cheats and have her take a look at it.
Yeah, there'd be no reason to ever look at it.
Go away, man.
Come on.
I guess if I suspected a tick,
yeah, I mean, I guess that's it.
Yeah, you're right.
I guess that's it.
A little bit of a tick, if you're right.
Maybe the two reasons I get her a tick,
I'm probably trying to work it out on my chees.
Well, yeah, lighter.
But if you just need to confirm it, I guess that it is.
Well, like you're, what is that?
I'll set up the phone and do a dangerous dance over top of it.
Worst thing that's ever happened to your b-hole,
1-855-9546-969 is the number 1-855-9546-969.
Or Texas at 4-6969, like a lot of people have done.
This guy said,
molten welding slag,
popped off the metal,
went down my crack,
burned my hole.
That's a loose crack.
Developed blisters back there.
It hurt to wipe for over a week.
My crack went up.
Grab that thing at the top.
I would have been saying a real tight crack.
A lot of packing material back there.
Just got it at the top.
Would have burned real bad.
But my b-hole would be safe.
This guy said, worst thing that happened to my b-hole,
leaving the nare on too long.
I was going to say, that's what I thought,
the one that you brought up,
I thought was going to be nare 100 percent.
He says, I'm a guy.
I was 28 at the time.
Worst pain ever.
Yeah.
You know what?
I mean, it says right on there, right?
One time at my aunt and uncle's cottage,
I was super constipated.
My, oh my god.
You asked for it?
A constipation.
One of the darkest things in humanity.
I know it is.
What, Dave?
It just wouldn't come out.
You know, get the pencil.
So I took a toothbrush.
Yeah, toothbrush will do it.
Just slice it up.
That's how severely impacted it was.
Yeah, you almost got to get it to the side.
One of my worst moments in life.
Yes, I did throw the toothbrush in the trash.
Well, thank you for that.
Dear God.
Constipation's one of the scariest things you can go through.
That really gets Andy too.
I really have a pair of it.
Constipations and hiccups.
That says big fears.
You don't want to have to imagine you got a toothbrush in your halfway.
Stop it then.
You've had a toothbrush in you.
That's another thing you've done.
I never thought of this.
I had a prostate biopsy.
Worst thing that's ever happened to my back side.
They can't use numbing cream or anesthesia.
I determined right then.
No one will ever go near my ass again.
Really?
Why can't they use any stuff?
Why can't they nominate it?
I don't know.
I think you got a little crazy doctor.
Yeah, that's what I think too.
Oh, we can't numb you.
There's nothing we can do.
Oh no, anesthesia either.
I'm just going to go.
I don't even, I don't know.
I have no idea what that
old process is.
I'm guessing that that area is sensitive though, right?
Like, isn't that the area that
you know, sends you off?
So, I mean, if you're going to cut a piece out of it.
Oh my God.
I feel like they'd be horrible.
Yeah.
Someone said, got food poisoning
from a mall food court egg roll.
Well, that's your own fault.
From all the time in the toilet,
I ended up with a bloody B-hole.
Been there so many times.
You're like a B-hole war veteran.
A grizzled old B-hole.
And through it all.
Oh my God.
Come on.
When you're wiped a little too much.
Anonymous is with us.
Hi, Anonymous.
Good morning.
So, what's the worst thing that's happened to your B-hole?
I was playing Frisbee golf with some friends.
And I was walking down a hill.
And there were some, I don't know,
seeds or something on the ground,
but ended up slipping and falling on a tree branch.
It was sticking up out of the ground.
And let's just say I lost my virginity to a tree.
Oh my God, dude.
It didn't like rupture a rip.
Anything, did it?
No, thank God.
But I thought I broke my tailbone.
I was in the back to the next day.
It's like, dude, it's all black back there.
Yeah, that is not great.
Don't want a black B-hole.
I don't mean unless you are a black gentleman,
then I guess.
I mean, not, you know what I'm saying.
I don't know what you're saying.
I realize I don't know the color of a black person's B-hole.
But I assume I'm just going to let you just keep digging.
Because it's bringing me some humor.
What else can you think of?
What other colors do you think it might be?
It's the brain.
I don't know.
Yeah.
It's almost like his own mouth is a B-hole.
It's just diarrhea.
Verbal diarrhea is spilling out for everyone.
I don't know the color of a black man's B-hole.
It's a wild place, you know?
This is the wild ride where some days we're on.
They were taking the ride together.
Yeah.
For me, it would have to be my first thing.
You think like a darker pink or like, oh,
yeah, I just never really seen.
That's all I'm saying.
I sure have.
Anyways, I believe that up to you.
For me, it was my first encounter with Indian food.
It was the worst thing that's ever happened in my B-hole.
Going in is the heat coming out and out.
And my little Irish B-hole was not prepared.
Thanks for sharing.
Yeah.
Anyone else have anything they want to bring out?
I learned so much that I'm banding on his B-holes.
Soar a lot for me.
I was thinking if you're not caught up,
there's a bandaid on his penis right now.
It's a bandaid currently on days.
I like that his B-holes I wish like a simple Irish man.
He's like, I'm just trying to do my job back here.
All of that's really a salt and pepper.
What are you doing?
Kind of be throwing that kind of spice.
I check it.
No, no, do it.
Yeah, it was mad.
Yeah.
Nope, nope.
Any who.
Any who.
Anything else you want to share?
Yeah, what else you want to bring out?
Any other thoughts?
Say the weird thing.
Say the weird thing.
Say the weird thing.
Probably good for the year.
Probably good for the year.
All right, let's go to Rich and Boston.
Rich, worst thing to happen to your B-hole.
Help me.
So the worst thing that happened to my B-hole was a few years back.
I had a cut or something on my butt.
And I wasn't sure exactly what it was.
So like, you know, as you know, I would.
I would just go into the bathroom.
I started spreading my cheeks.
I really looked back there in a while.
Anyways, I see a cut or something.
And it's like, somebody looked like an insect.
It was like, oh my butt.
And I had to have my, I had nowhere else to really look at it.
So I kind of call my grandmother.
My uncle's down for a while.
Come on.
You meet your grandma look at your B-hole.
Your grandma has seen your mom in your adult B-hole.
At least she lived a good life.
Yeah, she lived a good life until then.
That's so mean.
And I'm like, hey, let me take a look at it.
And then we can all my uncles down from Florida.
So they're not going to hold families.
They're going to circle the round.
We're checking on my B-hole.
And if I don't, it's a kickstick.
And they're sucking on my booty juices.
Oh, man.
Wow.
Oh, god.
Oh, god.
Titch, whatever the hell your name is.
What was it, Tick?
Get a tick.
Oh, family looked at it.
He just had to use it.
I mean, she did.
There's a recap of that call.
I don't think that's what they're after.
They're not.
They want your blood and that your booty juice.
Yeah.
No, you're right.
Well, color, do you think his was, Dave?
By the way, a lot of, a lot of black guys chiming in.
It's brown.
There you go.
Yeah.
Do do do.
Yeah, you know,
Joy is in South Lyon.
Hi, Joy.
Hi, how are you guys doing?
Yeah, we're doing okay.
We've been as better.
Okay.
I don't know what's the worst thing that's happened to your B-hole.
I was young and I was at my dad's office.
And I think I was like two or three.
You remember those older style pens that like sat down and
really sharp at the top?
I don't know why.
Um, I was walking on top of the desk.
And I sat right on top and it pierced through.
It wasn't my actual like B-hole.
It was right above it.
But now I have like a dimple.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, wow, wow.
This must be one of those pens where it had like a little stand
almost.
You'd stick it in.
Yes.
Yeah, like sticking it would point straight up and you pull it out of that to use it and put
it back in.
Yeah, no, it was really sharp.
Like at a very sharp point, which I makes no sense.
But yeah, that's exactly what it was.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, that is a fluke.
Try not to sit on those guys.
Yeah, but it was it just left her with like a little dimple there.
Yeah.
Friend of mine was drunk and tired leaning against the bathroom wall.
She slid down and was unaware of the plunger underneath her plunger.
It penetrated her butthole.
Oh, my God.
We thought she was going to have to go to the hospital quite intense.
Well, um, it's a wild scene to see someone stand up and there's a plunger hanging right
out of there.
Yeah, you know, you hope for a bullseye on that.
That is something you observe in the ER and are not ready for.
No, yeah.
Not the plunger in the beehive.
Fire ants in my ass crack while doing yard work is the worst thing that's happened to me.
Someone said, that's terrible.
From the top of my crack to the middle of my back, nothing,
but giant red wells with pus.
They will attack and not stop.
Yeah.
It can just sting over and over and I didn't realize they gave you like pus.
I didn't know that either.
I mean, I guess maybe he had a bad reaction to it.
Yeah.
We're talking about the worst thing that's happened to your beehive and Ryan's in Boston.
Hi, Ryan.
Hey, how are you guys doing okay?
Prepare to pay.
Prepare to pay.
Prepare to pay.
What's happened to you, Ryan?
So it wasn't me.
It was a body of mine.
I'm from Boston.
You're young, you know, young and dumb.
We were running from the police one time.
My buddy ends up stealing a car.
So they end up crashing into him, you know, pulling him out of the car through the window.
And they took the pistol out and they stuck the pistol in his blood hole.
And he told me the story later on.
He was like, listen, they pulled me out of the car.
And I said, there's no way they did that to you.
And he said, buddy, why would they tell you that they stuck the gun in my blood hole
if they didn't do that to me?
And at that point, I was like, yeah, he probably got raped by the pistol.
Yeah, yeah, every guy from Boston just grew up like it was the town.
And that's just a wild, that's based on something.
It all hits hell.
Someone else texted us saying, listen to this.
I'm a falconer.
And on a dare, I had an owl eat a mouse out of my butt.
It's falcon jokes, you know, like just falconers get together
and they're like, you won't put a mouse in your butt.
The mouse moved.
And I took a talent right in the B hole.
You can't.
I mean, what is this?
It took five minutes to get the owl to unclinch.
I just feel like you roll up on that.
He's like, hey, what the hell are you all doing?
Why are you doing that?
I've got an owl attached to my butt.
Who are your pants up?
We were joking.
We were joking.
We got an owl alone.
He won't let me go.
I feel like you'd be screeching the same note
that an owl makes when it's screeches.
I have to go and be rollin' back and forth.
Yeah.
Me.
Me.
My butt.
Yeah, you don't want an owl's talent.
But don't do that.
And you'll be home.
I don't want a mouse.
No, Amy.
In my butt.
Falcon jokes.
The mouse was like, well, this is it.
The mouse thought the day was terrible.
Because he's in a butt.
Yeah.
And then he's a big owl coming at him.
Nope, it's getting worse.
Then he's scurried out of there.
This day couldn't get anywhere.
Hello.
Hello.
Killiel.
How are you?
Yeah.
All right.
What's going on, you guys, prepare to beg.
Prepare to beg.
What is the worst thing that's happened to your beehull?
Yeah, so I was in Jordan visiting my family.
And I went on a little street meet,
you know, walk about night a lot of street meet.
Yeah, yeah.
I got some like virus.
And I was in the hospital for a few days
and developed some real big old big big hemorrhoids.
All right.
He got some big rules.
Yeah.
Yeah, got me.
So yeah, happy to go see a doctor.
And she didn't have any anesthesia.
She just a little use some local stuff
and carved me right out like a pumpkin.
Yeah.
There it is.
Oh my god.
It's like, don't get hemorrhoids in Jordan.
I'm all the way in.
Oh, man.
Exactly, don't I, huh?
They get it with it.
Yeah.
I mean, she was in there.
The funny part was she was,
she wanted to take a picture of and show me.
Of course.
And she said, can I can I use your phone?
And I was like, no, absolutely not.
She's like, okay, wait here.
I'm going to go get my phone.
I'll be right back.
No, no, no.
Say that's the deal.
It's all over Jordan.
Terrible situation.
I'm glad you made it through, man.
Yeah.
That sounds absolutely absolutely terrifying.
Sarah, you know what's out there?
Yes.
What's the worst thing that's happened?
How are you?
How good?
How it's worse thing that's happened to you,
be whole?
Oh, so it's not mine.
It's fortunately, but my cousin a couple of years ago
was sledding down a hill.
And when he was sledding down that hill,
there was a stick and it was piercing.
It pierced through the sled.
It went through his testicles and it came out as thoughtful.
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's going to be fun, huh?
How's he doing now?
Well, he's alive.
So that's good.
I made it to get him to live in a normal life.
So I don't know the details, but, you know,
can we have kids or who knows?
Who knows?
Yeah, actually, he does have kids.
Okay, perfect.
All right.
There we go.
We're telling you what they look like.
You know, they come out to realize something.
Yeah.
I don't think they have to name her.
They might look like the neighbor.
I don't think the stick through your junk
affects your baby's looks.
Oh, dude.
No.
Only if it's another man's.
Once had a taint zit
that sent a shooting pain into my b-hole.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know the shooting pain.
No.
You tried to get it?
I'm assuming.
No, I've had a topic for you.
Oh, my god.
Just handle it yourself.
No, I, and I will never forget her face
when she did it.
Well, yeah.
I just don't know why you want love to go away.
That's like your taint, too.
You can get that.
Oh, I can get that.
You can get that.
Oh, man.
Oh, god.
There's a bunch of pussies out there.
Yeah.
Take care of your own stuff.
I guess the other thing is,
I don't know why this is,
but I feel like if I do something to myself,
I can handle a higher level of pain
than if someone else is trying to do that thing.
Yeah.
You know, like, you can do things to yourself
and cause your own body more pain
than if you allows.
I guess because you're not in control.
You're like braced for it, you know?
Yeah.
And so to me,
if I had a taint zit that I had to pop myself,
I would take that to the grave.
Absolutely.
No one would ever know.
No, nobody would know.
No, never know.
Nor should they.
Even when this came up,
I would still just silently be like,
I'd be like, that's the time,
like the time I had a taint zit.
But if we had a shot,
the pain right in my butt,
be hold and remember when I'd eat.
I'd be able to make my best balls pain.
That's the pain.
No, I can't do it.
And you don't even have to.
It will go away.
Please, and you hamster.
What was it for you, Lee?
I used to sit here as far as,
but in this day,
we're poor.
Yeah, we're poor.
So my father,
my former boss, Mike,
and my friend Stan,
went loose hunting up in Maine.
And as would have it,
a little kick got on the brown spot.
Oh, man.
And he's like,
look at what I got back there.
It's daily to the old snake bite trick.
I think you're going to die, pal.
He had to lift,
but he wouldn't pull it off.
It was gross.
And my buddy Dave,
my buddy Dave,
the artist drew a picture of it
for all everybody.
Oh, that's nice.
Listen, that's nice.
I got a court.
Yeah, like,
I sketched.
Yeah.
Would you pick a kick off your buddy's
b-hole?
No.
I mean, I just can't even imagine
my buddy being like, dude,
I need your help.
I would.
So you would do that.
If he's in the die,
it's a real bind.
I don't want you to get lined
as you could get lined.
I mean,
it's not already happened.
If it's happened,
you're right.
I'm sorry.
Justin's in water for digestion.
Hey, how you doing?
Doing all right.
Hey, so my buddy one time,
we were screwing around,
wrestling just hanging out.
And he actually ended up falling
onto a ballpoint 10,
the entire tip.
Right above his b-hole,
broke off and started bleeding
blue basically with all the
ink and, uh,
yeah, you don't think that the
panels that much ink,
but, uh,
created a big mess with all the
juices and all that stuff.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, just,
you know,
can juice a juice talk.
Yeah,
there's too much juice talk.
Once, uh,
uh,
I got a bee sting right back there.
Right.
That's a wild one.
That bee was like,
for the queen.
Yeah.
I found his weakness.
Another one said,
I give my life for your queen.
Like when Legolas took down.
Into his b-hole, I punished.
Grandfather fell off his ladder two years ago
and fell butthole first
onto his pitch fork.
Oh,
so Grandpa's gone.
Yeah.
No, he's, I think he made it.
Penetrated is,
be whole through his stomach.
Like through and went in through his b-hole
and into his stomach.
Do you think it was the handle?
Woodhandle side.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Well, you're not the same after that.
Grandpa was like,
hey.
No, I don't think grandpa is it, bud?
I don't think grandpa was.
Oh my god, just stop it.
I bet parts in South Carolina.
Hi, Bart.
Hey, how's it going guys?
Doing okay.
Worst thing that's happened to your b-hole.
Okay.
Well, it wasn't my b-hole.
When I was a paramedic,
we responded to a call.
The neighbors haven't seen this guy
in a couple of days.
So we get inside the house
and apparently this guy was into
auto-erotic excitation.
Oh, yeah.
Who is he was?
He was, yeah, who hasn't been there, right?
So he's sitting in his chair
with his bottom on the back of the chair
and he apparently had taken what he had done
with taken a broom
and was present himself both
by choking himself
and annually with the broom.
Yeah.
And I guess he lost balance
and when he did,
he basically impaled himself
with the broom
and fell over the broom shut up
his backside
and the guy ended up dying.
So we found him all before
with a trailer blood
where he was trying to call
from to get to the phone.
Oh, wow.
So he took a while.
Yeah, it took a while
and he was like riding almost like a witch.
Yeah, like riding a broom for a bit
until he died from it.
Holy hell.
That's too dangerous.
He liked himself.
Stick to one of those, right.
You know?
And finally,
someone said the worst thing
ever happened to my behold
was Dave assuming the color of my black.
Was it dark day for black?
Thanks for checking out the Dave
and Chuck the Freak Tasty Bits podcast.
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