Classy With a Little Ghetto EP | 186

0:00Welcome to the Transformation Station podcast. I'm Christina, owner, operator, and founder of the Transformation Station and this is where we talk about getting stronger while navigating real life. If you're trying to stay consistent through the ups and the downs and everywhere else in between, this is for you. Okay, so you may not believe this but I didn't really know what I wanted to talk about today and I've been making a list about maybe I should talk about this subject or maybe that subject and I think something that is important is talking about of course kindness. Like I always say especially for the Transformation Station when we're dealing with so many different people and also so many different volumes of people that are general umbrella is kindness and I've been wondering like what does it mean to be a nice person because it's one thing to always have like that positive talk and it's like oh this

1:00everything is awesome everything is cool and you're part of a team and there's a fine line between what I've learned is toxic positivity is when you're just totally out of touch with all of reality because you're just like well it's gonna be great don't worry everything is awesome and then there's the reality of things where it's like you know what that actually does suck sorry about that like it's just maybe sometimes we only validation as well and it's to me it's like where is that fine line and there's a lot of gray area when it comes down to being kind being nice and I remember I like maybe a year or two ago I said to someone and I'm like hey well you know what like I'm a nice I don't know sorry it was I'm a good person but I'm not a nice person and they were like what like you can be a nice person you can be a good person and yeah two things can also be true at the same time but you can also be a good person and not be a doormat and I think that's where sometimes there's that little bit of crossover where when we're

2:01always just nice nice nice nice that we do become that doormat and I think sometimes when you stand up for yourself we were like oh why are you being so rude but you can be nice and you can be kind and you can also stand up for yourself and what you like and what you don't like and for myself like I'm naturally a generous person I do give people chances I do also give people gifts in a different way of giving and generally with I'm thinking about the five love languages so the five love languages just to recap if people are not knowing what the five love languages are so there's gifts is one of them like how do you like to give love how do you like to receive love and it's not just in a box of just like romantic love it's also like platonic and your family and how you generally show love to people around you and how you receive love so there is gifts and surprises there is words of affirmation there's physical touch there's quality time spent

3:05and there's also services so I know I I show my love language my my love languages I have two well old them really but I show them very different so I have learned in my upbringing with my family that my family is very service based my family is not words of affirmation and my family is also not physical touch so it can be time spent but the number one is service so also ironically for my spouse she is words of affirmation and touch she is also well I usually show her love with gifts and surprises as well but I know that it is service so I know that when she comes home from work if she doesn't have to worry about the dishes or fully in the laundry okay I don't fall in her laundry that's a whole nother feet but like things around the house I know that she gets incredibly overwhelmed if Monday our dusting isn't done so I try my very best amongst my other

4:10things on my to do list I know that every day I use the Finch app I've been talking with that for a long time I know that I have 15 minutes tidy on my Finch app and I can get a lot of stuff done in 15 minutes but I know that our home does not get chaotically messy because if the house gets chaotically messy hey I don't like it I don't I don't thrive in in Messer Chaos but she becomes like more like quiet and I'm like is something wrong and there is something wrong there is dust on the ceiling fan so like everyone gives and receives their their love in different types of ways and I myself I do not like the pressure of gift giving as an example but if I'm thinking about somebody and I find something that I'll pick it up for them sometimes I'll take a picture of something because I'm like the last thing anyone needs in this world is more clutter and more stuff that they feel like they have to keep so there's sometimes I'll be like oh hey here's a picture of something I saw

5:11I don't know if you need this or not but I don't want to add to your clutter but hey I'm thinking about you and this is really funny this is where it is if you want to go get it so that's like another token of love language because it's still reaching out and letting someone know that you are thinking about them but I like to give gifts as in usually gift cards and that's why when we do giveaways at the gym I'm like well I'm not buying or including like okay I do a lot of I do a lot of donations for auctions like silent auctions for different fundraisers and businesses animal seniors autism all of those things empowerment simko all like whatever it is if it's something that I believe and I have value in I will always offer something for their silent donations and sometimes when I'm putting together packages people have said like oh why don't you put in a shirt I'm like put in a shirt do I want small medium large extra large two extra large three extra large four extra large five extra large I'm not putting in a shirt because I'm not I'm not telling

6:14someone what size they should be and I know that that is way overthinking but as someone who has occasionally one things and I'm happy to win things but I end up with a size smaller medium ladies cut shirt and like oh well I'm so glad I won but this is completely useless to me so I guess I will either donate it or find someone who wants it the way that I do show love however is in words of affirmation and I also like quality time spent of course I also like touch and I like everything pretty much I do really doesn't for the most part but I would say the way I give and show my my love if I had to pick one thing that comes naturally would be words of affirmation I have no problem telling you hey that meant a lot to me thank you so much and I have no problem saying hey you did that I see that that is freaking amazing words of affirmation genuinely comes natural for me and I also want to say it it comes natural for me genuinely as well it's not something that I

7:19need to think about or it's not something I need to process either and in my relationship also the way I like to receive love is words of affirmation and physical touch and also all of it but quality time spent so I want good quality one-on-one time without distraction which happens it happens but few and far between these days because well busy and work and all types of other obligations but like that is something that means a lot to me so that is just the five love languages so when I'm talking about gift giving and being generous I'm naturally a generous person I will give you the time if you need to have a conversation and I know that time is valuable however I know that you are valuable so if you want to talk come and come and talk to me because that's something that I do put on a top tier is okay communication check mark amazing and I do give people chances and I

8:19also try to like I try to understand where people are coming from when they are coming to me and having a conversation with me and there's sometimes when things happen I do tend to let things go probably a little bit longer than what they should because I also like to see the outcome of any decision making or any conversations that are going to trickle from said effects so like I would never we're talking about like being positive and all those other things but also implementing boundaries I would never want to embarrass anybody and I I don't like to create a necessary conflict insane that I am not afraid of conflict period that is something conflict happens especially when there's boundaries that need to be put in play it's also the crummy part of leading a team and also being the head spear for a couple hundred people at the end of the day like there has to be someone who is like writing out what what the highway architecture is going to be you know what I mean

9:25if you don't have the okay this is the on ramp this is the off ramp this is what happens on the highway let's say I'm constructing a highway if all the sudden there's no clear entrance there's no clear exit there's no clear these are the lanes that you drive in it's going to be chaotic now if someone is driving haywire and someone's like hey wrong direction got to turn this car around it's easy for that person to be offended to be like well I want to do what I want to do I don't want to drive on that side of the road I don't want to have to pick a lane out of drive in the middle of the lane and also I'm distracted there's life distractors maybe life distractors look like that person driving on their phone and they're trying to move forward and they're trying to be in a space but they're completely distracted and they're letting their emotions and their life and their outside world get the best at them when they're supposed to be focused on the tassets at hand so sometimes when you have to implement those boundaries it can it really can seem like a negative thing it can feel like a lot of conflict and for people that have never been in that position

10:29where someone who's had to protect a space they're not going to understand what it means to actually have to look at the data and make those decisions and it's not up to them to understand because if it was then they would have to put on a different hat and a different roll and they would eventually see what it feels like and like any muscle when you work at the more reps you put in the more sets you put in the stronger it gets so when I have to look at data and I have to make a conversation okay yes for some people they may not understand the reasoning behind it but it's not up to them for understanding because they're not the ones looking at the data they're not the ones that are looking at when you zoom out what the structural damage is going to be in the long run and for me being ahead of doing all the things I need to do on a daily basis I am constantly not just looking at the present information but I'm also looking to the next step ahead the next step after that step and the step that comes out for the step and the step and the step so there's so much evaluation that needs to be done something that I've learned under the umbrella of kindness as

11:33well is that you can be kind and you can also be easy to play with in the sandbox and those things can also be very different things at the same time like I can be understanding and in the same sentence I'm understanding but I'm not freaking stupid I can be professional and I cannot be passive aggressive or passive at the same time and I can handle something while still having that little bit of now they say like there's an angel on your shoulder and then the devil on your shoulder I can deliver something with class and I still have a little bit of ghetto in my back pocket just in case anybody gets confused and then that to me is like okay you can be nice I remember a long time ago I had a friend and used to sing some song and it was like I'm nice but I'm not polite I'm like wait what but that's what I think about it's like okay there's also the the sponge bob meme and he is at a desk and sometimes people like write different words over top of it and it's like oh when you know

12:37the professional side of me but you don't know what I used to be and then it's like no no it's like when now you're professional or do you want the healed version of me or you don't know that I used to be a thug and then it's sponge bob turning over a paper and it says try me ho oh yes that is ghetto I know and that is something that I think about all the time because it's like okay I especially on social media like I know on my postings if you look at my stories it can show a little bit more edge than what has seen just in my stories I like I like to think that I show up very authentically because that is my personality that's who I am as a person I am genuinely and generally a fun outgoing easy laid back person but I do carry that little bit of ghetto in my back pocket that I will pull out need be and that that doesn't mean that I'm not nice it just means that I know my surroundings and I know that it's there if and when I actually need to pull it out and I don't like

13:41pulling it out but I will if I need to today I posted in my stories and uh if you comments on it and my spouse came for lunch from from work and I was like oh did you see my Instagram stories no I'm working gristina oh okay fine let me show you then and she looks at me and she goes well you said unhinged that's the word well that is definitely unhinged Christina so I was teaching class and someone was trying to get into my I don't know my financial stuff on my personal side of things down on my business side of things so don't not worry but I'm like are you kidding me I'm here busting my ass working on a holiday Monday and someone while I'm on the gym floor coaching is trying to input all my information and my emails trying to get into my financial data are you kidding me so guess what well firstly I have so much security that I have so much security so and I have everything

14:43separate as well so I was like what I got all these emails my watch is going off I'm like you're kidding me right right the freak now you're kidding me so I'm like okay this is why I have these systems in place so I'm not gonna freak out I have time I'll figure it out after class everything is gonna be okay guess what everything was okay I can see the attempted logins I can see what it was I can see the IP it is actually okay so and the one account they tried to get into was the very wrong one this is why I have many different emails and many many different passwords and many many different devices at the same time like I said I'm nice and I'm fun and I'm outgoing but I'm not freaking stupid it's not my first rodeo I've been raised in business and I've been running my own business for 21 years I'm crying and laughing and proud all the same time was I thinking anyway so I posted all my stories I'm like really like you want to come at me like and I have not spoken about

15:44these fake Instagram accounts and there has been fake Google reviews about my business with the same person I actually believe it's two people and yes the cops were involved I don't know six months to go again and I don't talk about it because I'm like well I don't want to give it attention I don't want anyone to to worry or get mad on my behalf I don't want I know that that person also listens to my podcast and is making fake accounts so the same the same person that made a fake Google name ironically is the same person who keeps checking up on my Instagram with that same fake name as an Instagram account dummy at least make your fake name not as fake sounding and why don't why wouldn't you make your Google account a different username than the fake Instagram accounts and like this person is still watching my stories at least twice a week on my business stuff and on my personal stuff and they're not a follower which means that they are physically typing in my name

16:47my user names plural my business and my personal and checking up on my stuff all the time so not only do I have over 35 now 36 cameras because I came home and installed another camera at my house I'm locked and loaded with cameras everything has visual high definition recordings on recordings my business has so many cameras every single space except the bathrooms just to be clear there are no blind spots in the transformation station besides of course the bathroom I don't want to see you make peepies but other than that every space in there has government grade cameras because I am so high on security and this is something I don't talk about hardly hardly hardly ever but it does exist and I'm like you know what I don't want to talk about these things because I just want to be positive all the time well the downside of putting yourself out there publicly on social media

17:48also having to arrange staff members there is power in the pause sometimes it comes back to bite you in the ass because people hell hell has no what is it hell has no fury like a scorned woman so there are sometimes you have to let employees go for really good reasons and over a year later they're still in your inbox asking you why what you don't know how many times do you want to stay in the words that are coming out of my mouth I don't stand for a bunch of things one of them number one thing is a like I said audio on the gym floor you cannot tell members at the gym that I'm a bitch and get away with it you cannot say well go and corner her and make her change your opinions send her an email I don't know why she you cannot create triangulation on my gym floor and then think that it's okay right like you cannot build clicks inside a clicks inside a clicks inside of the community that I have built and that's something that I'm always like yay everything is nice the

18:52community is awesome the people are awesome yes the people are freaking fantastic because I cultivated it to be that way when people make friendships around the transformation station inside the transformation station it sets my soul on fire as someone who grew up with not a lot of friends hardly any friends I can count on less I don't even need a whole hand to count how many friends I had growing up when I see people making friends that to me is so happy I want that of the transformation station when I see a coach making a clicky little group and then degrading me and then showing up to my business and smiling in my face I'm pretending like it's okay and calling me a bitch for people that I spend a lot of money to try to get advertising to get people to come through this door I will protect that community because the other 99% of the community in the transformation station are freaking fabulous but we know when we put one or two bad apples together it starts to bleed into the gym you cannot

19:55a be calling me a bitch on the gym floor I'm going to eliterate that time and time again also you cannot give racial slurs in my space and I don't just mean in my physical business if you are making racial slurs get away from me that is not something that I value not just in my business but I do not value racism in my life or in my energy or in my space if you are making fun of someone who does not move the way you move or they don't speak or act or behave or have the same personality because you don't have that personality that will never happen in the walls of the transformation station I will go to back for that space because life is so hard and so stressful and so judgy on the outsides of the gym that if it steps foot inside of my gym it's gone I don't like triangulation I don't like people assuming so yes that's why now I am talking about it and I know that this isn't the world's most positive podcast episode but how many times are we told that we have to be nice because we're women

21:00or we're business owners or we're professionals so we have to lay on the ground and let all this shit happen around us and people think that we don't notice but we do notice because well again we can pick up on behaviors we can pick up on things and data does not lie what's going on in the present what you can see what you can hear if we're if we are intelligent people which we are I would say intelligent people like to listen to podcasts so here we go but you know what's going on around you sometimes we have to be the bad person and there's sometimes there is peace in talking about it how many people right now are doing the doing the exact same thing or going through the exact same things you know what I like to do sometimes when I feel bad when I'm like oh I'm in the public eye and there's like 1% of scrutiny and I'm like oh god 1% of scrutiny from someone who's a fake account watching all my stuff stalking me on Instagram so much that I had to actually get the police involved this is in June really are you that caught up man

22:03leave me alone stop showing up in my shit so I'm trying to get into my stuff sometimes when I feel bad you know who's reviews I go to and I know we have members who who work for said person however it must truth must be told when I'm feeling bad sometimes you know Mark Ferris thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of reviews his face is everywhere there's no escaping this beautiful handsome man that goes by the name of Mark Ferris and Barry he's in real estate if you don't know look out he's on all the bus stops he's on all the buses he's on every billboard he's every single street that you turn in Barry and surrounding area his face is everywhere and there's some times I'll go and I'll check out his reviews and I'm like and I've met him I've been on his podcast we've had great conversation the the lesson a handful on my hand that I can count we have had fantastic interactions and when I look at his reviews like someone gave him a one star review you know why because quote unquote I'm tired of seeing your face around town I've never done business

23:06with you and I will never because your face is everywhere that I turn all right mister not buying house from Mark Ferris that's awesome did you have to go on his business profile to say I don't like looking at your face everywhere I turn guess what it's called it's called marketing and do know how how many people he employs do you know how well he treats his staff I know because I hear it to know what he does around our community do you know how much thousands of dollars at this man donates when you see his team you see them out in the wild and you say damn that's a nice looking team because they all are the exact same they have hit their values they have hit their brand and I'm not here to promote Mark Ferris okay we have many different real estate agents in the gym I love them all too I'm community over competition but I know that I'm having a back day I think of people that are like oh I'm not doing business with you because your face is everywhere and they don't even know how much this person gives back to the community so that's something I like to look at that because it makes me feel so much better okay we're going back up to the topic there's

24:07sometimes when you are a nice person like we're nice and we're kind I talk so much about that but sometimes when you're a nice person you tend to struggle with keeping those boundaries and I know we throw around the word boundaries so much in 2025 2026 that's like well what's a boundary well just sticking up for yourself like sometimes you don't want to say what needs to be said because you don't want to hurt somebody's feelings so you hurt your own feelings just to protect somebody else's feelings and then you end up getting like internally upset because then you're like well don't they know well how do they know if you haven't told them and I understand like you want to be a fair person and I want to be a fair person as well and then sometimes like you just explain to yourself this is what I do in my head it's like well this person behaves like this because of this reason and I'm going to tell myself that because if I understand their situation I'm just going to ignore it and I'm not going to be as mad okay that's cool but understanding why someone is behaving

25:09poorly it doesn't mean you have to accept it and there's sometimes even in business when someone's acting poorly like even sometimes there's people on my team that'll be like well just choose your battles and I'm like no you can see it I can see it members can see it that's not me choosing my battles it's me upholding the business and what our values are and you have to uphold policies if you don't uphold your own policies and what the heck is the point of having a policy in the first place policies of policy it's literally black and white that's there that that is your boundary and sometimes when we have to hold our grounds like we don't have to yell we don't think yell we don't have to be mad we don't have to threaten people we don't have to post melodramatic indirect messages I don't do that obviously when you see my message or hear my message it's just sharp to the point like even on my Instagram it's like stop looking at my shit stop doing that stop making a fake account you know who you are you were listening to this you were watching this right now stop doing it but like if I just post all these weird dramatic passive aggressive sad things

26:10that makes people think that they're the ones out of the problem are you making a fake account on Google and Instagram and trying to get into my personal financial data know that obviously that's not about you so you don't have to take that personally but if they just say something generic like okay let's say every morning I usually talk to about 50 people I probably have 200 conversations if not more per day and that's like me saying oh you know what someone made me really upset today oh I should just go like hideaway for 10 years and I write that in my Instagram stories imagine all the people that that spoke to me that day they're gonna feel so upset and so hurt that's not kind that's passive aggressive and I I if you've heard the one of the previous podcasts I wasn't raised with passive aggressiveness if I wore something that looked hideous my family be like oh my god Christina you look like the size of that house you're gonna end up in the exhibition place go take off those light wash jeans so sure that might be some childhood trauma behind that but like I don't like indirect messages and it doesn't feel good for the people who are clicking

27:13through your stories and looking at your stuff they don't like that either just say what you got to say the end and those who mind or wait those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter anyways because sometimes people are just like oh I lost access to that part of you I lost access of walking all over you and dumping all my feedback right on top of you and this is what it is so uh now you're the bad person well maybe we're just tired of hearing the negativity and and the dumping all the time like boundary cut done and that's also part of it too like if you communicate like okay access denied changing someone someone's access to you as well like let them be disappointed but their feelings be hurt like you cannot always control the outcome of how somebody feels like today or today earlier last week later last week I had to implement SOPs so like how the gym is ran what's expected all of these things and someone did take what I wrote personally I'm not going to tell you their name

28:13because they're freaking fabulous and I love them so much but they they ended up taking my list of things personally and I'm like oh like I could see why you took that personally that was not written for you that's why it was under every job description also I'm looking at opening a second location in January so when I train staff everybody has to be on the same page so why would I implement now that I'm training full-time staff for the transformation and ambassadors and our coaches why would I just wait until I open my other location to have this written now to have to change it in the next four months anyways so I want everything to be on the on the exact same page by everything I mean everybody doesn't matter the positioning this is what our standard is and unfortunately somebody did get upset because they thought that it was an attack towards them and I'm okay I can see why you thought that 120% not the case and I felt bad like I'm like oh shit like I didn't want you to take that personally I wasn't when I wrote this it wasn't personal at all

29:18because I don't operate business out of personal decisions oh that made me matter I didn't like that that day I usually actually to be truth be told when I go into another business or a location in this sense it was actually walking into a gas station and how I was treated as a customer so I always evaluate like oh this when I walked in as a consumer at this gas station or at this grocery store or I was at Farm Boy I had such a good experience and this is why and then there's sometimes I'm like oh I walked into the gas station and the guy had his air pot in his ear having a full conversation while I was trying to ask him a question at the desk and I felt like I was an inconvenience so this guy is getting paid to be on his phone having a conversation and I need to ask a question about the business but he's having personal time and I feel like I should apologize to him for being a customer so like there's certain things that were written down that were just written down in general and I even right now talking about it like even feel bad talking about it

30:19because I'm like that's not it but I need to use this situation as an example I could not and don't get me wrong this person's not mad at me but they're just like okay this is I want to switch I'm like okay that that is fantastic you can do that too so I'm just using that as an example because I cannot control how this person felt I can control how I feel which I feel bad about it truth be told I'm not a monster but I cannot control that person's feelings because that person's feelings are going to be what it is and they're going to be valid and they are valid however there's sometimes when you have to implement boundaries some people are going to get hurt and sometimes it's going to hurt you that these people get hurt as well and it's going to hurt you and it's not going to hurt you as much it's going to piss you off when someone gets really mad and tries to retaliate against you because that also happens as well because especially when you're in that leadership position like you're going to have people coming at you that's just how it is and they always say like you can measure like the more success you have the louder some of

31:22they say on the internet they call them haters the more success you have the louder some of those haters get or the louder some people try to test you to see if they can test your patients so or your boundaries as well and that's just something that's going to happen but for the 2% of people that are testing your your stuff the squeaky or the squeaky wheel gets the oil for the 2% that are the loudest symbols in the room like the bad google review and my a couple employees out of how many employees i've had my entire life even for my family business i've had a higher let go train sometimes it's not the employee that needs to be let go sometimes that employee is actually a fabulous employee but they just have to be trained because they're not understanding what it is that you want them to do because communication is such a big key again those different procedures and and the guides and how to properly be existing inside of the brand that's going to be important and sometimes people they don't know that they're not doing it because they're not told

32:23so that's the reason why these are these are the standards this is what needs to be done it's pretty black and white you do the standards you stay you don't get you don't get the standards done you don't do the standards you act in the opposite way of the standards well guess what audio's goodbye i wish you well just not in these four walls and there's sometimes when you can shake hands and say hey you know what this was awesome having you as an employee but we're both deciding to go a different route you still want to be a part of the gym fabulous because i hope that you'll be a part of the gym because i actually really enjoy you but not everything is for everybody in that whole stretch of time and that's just going to be okay and you cannot you cannot change someone's feelings and sometimes i know we want to try to explain and apologize until we're blue in the face but me doing that isn't going to change how somebody feels and eventually the dust will settle and that'll just die and then you can stash that you can just wipe the dust into the garbage can and forget and move on or you shelf it because sometimes we we can move on but we're not going to

33:27forget is still in that shelf yes we've all gone through different life experiences we have a few things we've tossed in the garbage and a few things we stuck on that shelf and a few things we stuck in our back pocket for so for me like when you are trying to make things a little bit more professional or happy or mature or positive like sometimes the immediate response is rushing in because it's like okay you're uncomfortable i'm sorry i hurt your feelings let me over explain so you can be comfortable if i've already explained to you and i've already done what i need to do i'm not begging you to hear or understand how i feel because i don't want to change how you feel i hope that you know that i'm sorry and that's all in specific situations there's some situations i'm not sorry and that's just how it is and i will not apologize if i know that what i did had to be done like i'm not going to contact that employee that kept contacting me a year after that that person was let go because they wanted an apology i'm like you want me to apologize because you're racist

34:29that is a no for me dog there's that little ghetto in my pocket that's a no for me dog i learned that off a TV so when you mix all these different things and boundaries and like when when you're when you a classy chick and then you mix it with a little bit of ghetto it means that your first response is like this is the professional version this is mature i'm level headed i'm feeling all right this is calm this is something that has been thought about and there's still strength behind it like that's just that is just how dealing with things in in my world that's what it looks like like it's mature calm grounded i'm going to use the word grounded but it's still it's so strong and like i don't want to ever appear to look tough that's not something i want to do i don't like to use intimidation i don't like to use positioning in order to deliver what it is that i want to say but i know that there is a line and once there is that line that gets crossed i will act accordingly

35:35but i'm not going to say oh boohoo pour me i'm gonna say hey what are you doing that's not it that's really not it that's not how we behave here that's it that's all that's done and there's sometimes i see things that are happening and one day i know that shit's gonna hit the fan but i'm just letting it settle for now because it's not that bad the line isn't totally crossed but when that line is crossed it's gone and sometimes people will not understand that because they're not involved in the entire situation they're not involved in all the things that you've seen or heard or experienced or any of those things but eventually their dust will settle to because it's not up to them to understand or to dictate who comes and goes and what is said and what is done so for me it's hard sometimes because like we can be the caring person and we can also be our professional person too like those two worlds are very overlapping because i know okay so i am Christina the caring person and i know too that i'm Christina the business owner and sometimes those can look

36:36like different hats that's what i like to call it so i can visually explain it but like i can care about you as a person and i can still make a business decision that you don't like because i have to make that decision as a business owner so i can care about you as a person and still make the decision that you don't like in a nutshell it does not make me a fake person it doesn't make me an unkind person it doesn't mean that i don't care in general however that business owner had i'm responsible for protecting something that's much much bigger than just one person's feelings just one person's opinions or maybe it's two people two people are fantastic don't get me wrong takes you to have a party but when you're dealing with hundreds of people you cannot just flippy flop like oh these two people have this opinion so i need to do this and ignore what's best for the entire community and the entire business and in saying that that's the same thing let's say someone's getting married i'm way beyond that i was thinking i'm like how come so many people

37:38having different they're in weddings weddings like five weddings i'm like oh right they're 20 years old haha i said that to christia the day i'm like man oh my god any 40 year olds 50 year olds getting married again like i want to be in a wedding and i'm gonna like all right because when we're 40 and 50 some of us are on the first second third marriage already we're already married we're already seasoned all the 20 year olds getting married for the first time and some of them the only time so that's nice okay i'm gonna wrap this up because i think it's making me sound like a bad person so like at the end of the day the goal doesn't mean to become as nice as possible like you can still be nice and you can still be kind and you can still like you can selectively give people access right like you can stop giving people that access to your kindness without requiring respect i think that's such a big thing like i want to be nice and all these other things that's like one okay so

38:38i had to make a post in the social tab be like okay let's just real it together let's just act right and i i know that this happens okay so history has proven to me it's not my first rodeo so a long time ago i will wrap this up shortly a long time ago i have told people before like there was a time in three months i did maybe longer actually i would say three months because it's like the general guess of how long it was i did not step in my business one foot through that door and at least three months and you know what actually happened people actually started to respect me because i wasn't readily available when you become friends with everybody and it's hard because we have amazing people in the gym and our staff like all of our staff doesn't matter if their coaches are front desk or whatever i hate using the term staff but i haven't found like a blanket nice like word for it but like it's so easy to become friends and friendly and equateances with the people that are around you on a daily basis especially like we laugh together we cry together we

39:42do so many things together however there's sometimes someone may take that and they overstep and they think that it's their place that they can overstep because they know you as a person and that to me is one of the hardest things in business i was actually talking to another business owner today about that actually already this morning and it was like where is that line because like we want to still be respected we don't want like okay we didn't make something your exact way in the entire business because it actually doesn't make sense but you think it does because only you want it and now you're mad at me for not implementing that because it just doesn't work so like i love cultivating relationships but one of the hardest things is is still having to say no or having to explain why that doesn't work when when you're just a ghost owner i can understand why the owner of Walmart does not hang out at Walmart can you imagine can can you imagine how much emotional distraught that person would feel

40:46especially if every time they went in there were shaking hands with the owner and high-fiving can you imagine i don't like how the store is set up i don't like the type of chicken oh i bought this milk the other day and it only had three bags well yes it says three liters well how come there wasn't one big bag of three liters well it fits in your milk container better so like can you just imagine that so it's so it's an interesting dynamic and i will never be outside of my gym because i do love it so much but there comes to a point where you can't hold everything and everybody so tightly because sometimes people are gonna love you and i love what you stand for and they love the realism that you bring to the table and there's some people that are just they they think that your best buddies all the time that they can just send you all their feedback like you're a dumping ground for it and think that you have to change your entire business model just to make them happy and then when you don't and they don't understand why they just get pissed off and they leave and they go and talk to other people about how crappy of a person you are so it's really really hard that's

41:48one of the hardest parts of being in the public eye also with with being in a leadership but we have a lot of teachers at the gym there's some people that are not gonna like how you run your classroom doesn't fit with your guidelines is it fit with the core values of the company that in a company or with the government or whatever does that align with their values there's some people that are complaining about the Catholic rule and i hate to talk about religion but if you work for the Catholic school board you don't own the Catholic school board you work for the Catholic school board if you don't like those values you can a try to change them or you can move into something else that's not a Catholic school board same like working at the transformation station we have different regulations and policies in place because it helps everything sit under our vision so no you cannot come into the gym and act like a turkey and expect to be able to act like a turkey because in our policies and procedures check out the members app it will say okay it doesn't say i was

42:50gonna let you go and check to see in your app if it does but it it doesn't but let's say it says don't act like a turkey and then you come into the gym and you act like a turkey and then you get upset that someone tells you hey you're actually like a turkey and you're causing other people to behave like a turkey and we are not a turkey zone so you take your turkey and your friend's turkey and you go do turkey things where turkeys do which i don't know what that is i see them sometimes by the side of the road going up to the go and park and sometimes crossing the road here in berry in the city of berry which is wild to me but they're doing turkey things where turkeys can do turkey things if you don't like the umbrella of the policies that we have at the transformation station then you don't have to stay and i hate saying that out loud like we have like set rules okay let's talk about coaches coaching we have set boundaries and set rules i'm not ending this podcast might have to come back to this tomorrow we have set rules it is mandatory for our coaches this is something that i've written in our i don't want to say rule book but in our coaching manual

43:51this is in there you must give standing alternatives to ground options you do not ever ask the room hey does anyone need a different variety no you give it and then you coach the room and see how that person likes that exercise that movement and if they don't like it then we change it but you always say hey if you're not going to the ground to do this you're going to do this standing and it doesn't make it easier it makes it different for your unique body that is my standard of how the business is ran period that way we're all making the same pizza recipe i had a coach once i talked about this recently who made people cry and i'm like no you got to go and people were upset but they were upset because they're like well you heard her feelings i'm like what about you that came to me crying about how much that this is bad and you haven't been in the gym and how many months because this person is coaching but i didn't i just and then that person's like well i didn't expect you to let them go well i tried to train them but i could not train them because they didn't want to be trained same like when people come into the transformation station and they start advertising

44:56another business just because we're a nice community and we're fun and we're friendly if you work at pizza pizza if someone comes in and says hey i know you like cheesy stuff crust i know i have a pizza pizza hat on go to pizza hut while you're standing in pizza pizza also there's a policy you cannot give a customer your phone number and say call me after i'm going to help you get to pizza hut because i'm going to help you get to the the cheesy crust that you like while you're employed by pizza pizza you represent that brand sure nobody owns anybody which means if you work at pizza pizza and you want to promote pizza hut and topper's pizza then leave the brand because that's not that's not ethical i don't know where you can go anywhere and do those things you just cannot do that if i'm working at vettispa who there's an idea i don't have time i'll just be a greeter just give me a free pass but like if i'm working at vettispa

46:00and i represent that brand i cannot be posting in my social media check out scandinavian spa and blue mountain they're hosting a giveaway what do i not represent this brand you can do what you want in your personal stories however if you represent a brand and you work for vettispa and you're like a membership salesperson or you're a coordinator or you're one of the team people on the team you're hired by vettispa how do you think the owner of vettispa is going to see your your what's the word your loyalty by always sharing stuff that belongs to scandinavian spa and you're not even promoting vettispa that you're employed by i thought you believed in the brand is that not why you're here if that doesn't line up you gotta go all right so insane that oh that's a lot of stuff in today's episode good thing i didn't know what i was going to talk about i kid you not there's sometimes when i'm like oh this is a really inspiring podcast episode

47:01and sometimes i'm like was that a rant but at at the end of the day i hope that this shows you but that things can be complex things can be amazing and they can also be complex and again like i always say those two things can exist at the exact same time and i hope that when you're listening to this that this reflects something back on you if you know you need to change something or maybe you want to have a conversation you're like Christina how did you grow your balls i would never say this in class by the way so enjoy what Chris calls the unhinged version of me today i don't know what's going on but we're keeping it real speaking of real real letters that's you know that that jingle that lives in my head non-stop from like two years ago piggy help keeping it real so i need to come up with something like that maybe probably not but all right i'm up and out this has been one of the most realest podcasts that i've actually recorded we're gonna call it unhinged so come back tomorrow i'm gonna make sure that tomorrow's episode is not as unhinged as this one and well i hope

48:09okay i started talking i'm like i don't even know how to end this episode i hope that whatever you're doing in your life in your day that you will be able to stand up for your own feelings even if it means somewhat sometimes hurting somebody else's if you know that there's something that you're struggling with or that you're going through and you know something needs to change because it's unhealthy take care of it you know classy answers first be a good person be the professional version of you however it's alright sometimes to pull that ghetto out of your back pocket it keeps you real all right talking tomorrow