Cynthia Erivo: ‘I Was Working To Prove That I Was Worth Loving’ (How to Finally Let Go of the Need For Approval & Build Real Self-Worth)

Do you ever feel like you need others to approve of your choices?

When was the last time you did something just for yourself?

In this heartfelt episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty sits down with award-winning actress and singer Cynthia Erivo for a raw and inspiring conversation. Cynthia opens up about her whirlwind year—filming back to back movies, performing at the Oscars, and pouring her soul into her deeply personal new album, I Forgive You. Even in the busiest seasons of her life, Cynthia is discovering the power of stillness—making space to rest, reset, and care for herself mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

Cynthia opens up about the emotional weight she’s carried—the pain of feeling abandoned by her father and the relentless pressure to keep proving herself. She and Jay explore the exhausting chase for external approval—and how it often leads to burnout, disconnection, and a version of success that doesn’t feel like yours. Cynthia’s path has been one of unlearning—releasing fear-based patterns and learning to create from a place of wholeness. Her journey is one of deep self-reflection and healing, which shines through in her new music.

Together, Jay and Cynthia unpack what it really means to own your truth, make peace with your past, and finally feel at home in the present. Cynthia’s stories of heartbreak, transformation, and creative rebirth offer powerful insights for anyone navigating change or searching for their purpose. This episode is rich with wisdom, warmth, and a reminder that healing and growth are always possible.

In this episode, you'll learn:

How to Build Daily Habits That Ground You Anywhere

How to Embrace Rest Without Guilt

How to Heal from the Need for External Validation

How to Let Go of the Pressure to Overachieve

How to Share Your True Self Without Fear

How to Create from a Place of Love, Not Pain

Whether you’re navigating heartbreak, chasing your dreams, or simply learning how to slow down, know this: you are allowed to evolve, to let go, and to begin again.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

02:39 Have You Had a Moment to Take a Break?

04:34 How Do You Take Care of Yourself?

06:12 Are You Good at Slowing Down?

08:25 Why Your Body Needs to Follow Rituals

12:00 Difference Between Achieving and Overachieving

13:34 What Drives You to be an Overachiever?

16:59 Using Childhood Trauma to Transform Your Life

18:31 The Three Modes to Help You Achieve Your Goals

20:17 Missteps are the Steps We're Meant to Take

23:56 Choose to Live for Yourself First

26:16 Have You Ever Felt Like You Don’t Fit In?

29:23 Focus on Sharing Positive Energy

32:29 The Frequency Illusion

33:44 Empower People to Own Their Confidence

37:50 Teaching Kids About Confidence and Self Love

39:40 How to Show Up as Yourself

45:24 Behind the Glamourous Life of Celebrities

47:55 The Power of Music

51:00 How Do You Share Your Emotional Journey?

55:23 How Do You Live Through Heartbreak?

01:00:26 Can You Peacefully Disconnect Yourself from Someone?

01:05:16 Sometimes, It's Not About You

01:07:35 What is the Right Type of Validation to Crave?

01:14:20 The Core of Being a Good Person

01:21:13 The Experience of Abandonment Isn't Always Your Reality 

01:25:10 Which Emotion is the Hardest to Face?

Episode Resources:

Cynthia Erivo | Website

Cynthia Erivo | Instagram 

Cynthia Erivo | Facebook

Cynthia Erivok | TikTok

Cynthia Erivo | YouTube

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