Domestic Violence: Breaking the Silence Men Are Taught Not to Break

Some of us spend years learning how to look okay when we are not. We get good at reading rooms, making ourselves small, keeping quiet. Not because we want to, but because it felt like the only way to stay safe. If that sounds familiar, this episode might feel like someone finally said the quiet part out loud.

Eugene Z. Bertrand grew up navigating a home shaped by domestic violence. For most of his childhood and into early adulthood, survival meant masking. It meant saying he was fine when he was not. It meant watching and waiting and staying alert. And then, just days after graduating college, something happened that nearly took his life. And the most unsettling part was how calmly he described it afterward.

In this conversation, Eugene talks about what it felt like to say it out loud for the first time, to sit with radical acceptance, to forgive not because the other person deserved it but because he did. He talks about EMDR therapy, about the friends who held space for him, about vulnerability as a superpower, and about the book he wrote, five to ten pages a day, just to keep moving forward.

What You'll Hear:

1. What it felt like to grow up in a home where uncertainty was the norm, and how that silence shaped who Eugene became
2. The moment he almost lost his life, and why it took a friend's reaction to help him truly understand what had happened
3. How radical acceptance and EMDR therapy helped him move through trauma without staying trapped in it
4. What it actually felt like to choose forgiveness, including the morning after when he was not sure he had made the right call
5. Why Eugene believes vulnerability is your greatest superpower, and what happens when you finally stop hiding your story
6. How writing a book became a form of healing, and what he hopes other survivors of domestic violence find when they read it

Guest Bio:

Eugene Z. Bertrand is a survivor, author, and social work student at Columbia University. He is the author of Resilience: Breaking the Chains, a fiction-based exploration of domestic violence and the long road toward healing. Eugene is a mentor, speaker, and passionate advocate for vulnerability as a form of strength and for creating spaces where survivors, especially men, feel safe enough to tell the truth.

If Eugene's story moved you, send him a message at eugenezbertrand.com or pick up his book, Resilience: Breaking the Chains, on Amazon. And if you want more conversations like this one, subscribe to this newsletter and never miss an episode.

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