Ep 111: Brilliant on Paper. Struggling in Real Life | Rethinking Alcohol |

We’ve taught young people how to achieve but have we taught them how to feel, struggle, and grow? Host Anna Donaghey is joined by consultant Joanna Lilley, who works with young adults at the crossroads of high school, university, and early adulthood, to explore why so many high-achieving students feel anxious, overwhelmed, and unprepared for life.

Together, they discuss the emotional blind spots shaping a generation, from overprotection and crisis-driven support, to the relentless pursuit of perfection and the lure of numbing out through tech, alcohol, and quick fixes. You’ll also hear practical ideas for building genuine resilience, supporting emotional growth, and redefining success for both parents and teens.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Welcome back & why helping kids handle stress matters

02:08 Why record numbers of students are struggling

04:09 Tech, overstimulation & the accountability gap after leaving home

05:27 Why current university support often misses the mark

10:22 Are parents unintentionally “fixing” too much?

11:29 Why adversity and struggle are key to building grit and resilience

15:22 Coping, numbing, and the pull toward quick-fix behaviors

18:10 Alcohol, substances, and the hidden culture of self-medication

21:00 The emotional blind spots that make numbing so tempting

23:12 How parents and schools can nurture real emotional intelligence and self-awareness

29:02 Why Gen Z are the anxious generation

33:57 How to support your teen without being a human shield for difficulty

35:09 Letting go, empty nests, and finding your own path

45:54 Why recovery, reflection, and even a gap year matter more than ever

47:43 How intuition, creativity, and downtime build long-term resilience.

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk

About Joanna Lilley:

Joanna Lilley runs LilleyConsulting and, since 2016, has been helping young adults (18+) find mental health, substance use, and wellness resources. Joanna dedicates herself to working solely with emerging adults who unravel in college or aren’t thriving in adulthood. She also hosts the "Success is Subjective" podcast, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeartRadio.

Connect with Joanna:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LilleyConsultingLLC/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joanna-lilley-ma-ncc-12546566/