Ep 117: The Art of Avoidance: Why Alcohol Works…Until it Doesn’t

What really drives us to reach for alcohol, and why is avoidance so quietly powerful in our habits? In this episode, Anna Donaghey unpacks the psychology behind using alcohol as a coping mechanism, revealing how it silences discomfort and acts as a fast-acting state change in our modern lives. Drawing from her own lived experience and insights from her Substack “The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab,” Anna explores how avoidance is not weakness, but a deeply human strategy rooted in our biology and history.

She dives into the difference between signals (those uncomfortable feelings and nudges) and state changes, explaining how alcohol overrides what our mind is trying to tell us. With practical examples and gentle guidance, Anna encourages listeners to get curious about their own habits, question the signals they might be silencing, and imagine life with alternative strategies that don’t come at such a cost.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Welcome, this week we are exploring the theme of avoidance

01:03 How alcohol is used to numb and silence discomfort

02:20 The British Medical Council: alcohol as the nation’s favourite coping mechanism

04:04 Avoidance as an intelligent survival strategy, not denial

05:12 Our ancient brain responds to discomfort

06:00 Alcohol as a fast-acting state changer, it quietens the alarm

08:23 Alternative avoidance strategies: work, scrolling, food

09:09 We have a regulation systems, relief can be instantly available

10:01 Learning to listen to discomfort

13:17 Anna’s Sunday “unease”, discovering the real signal beneath the habit

14:04 Signals as information about our needs and alignment

15:07 When avoidance no longer works, what comes next?

16:04 Imagining alternative strategies without the cost of alcohol

Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!

Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/

The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/

If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by winteraudio.co.uk