Ep. 157: THE FOUR BURNERS THEORY!

Oh

Welcome to the bomb squad podcast episode 157 start way to heaven

Live

We just had a sweet treat on a coffee. I'm brookie. By the fuck

What's that? I brought any cookie cookie Bernie fuck. Yeah, come last are all

Keep the arteries gassing. I noticed we all went for a different treat to different treats for different strokes

Says a lot about our personalities. Yes, what did you have that the white raspberry?

White chocolate raspberry brookie

Look lovely. Look lovely. What'd you get now something caramel briny

Classy guy, and you know, it says that says a little bit of personalities. I got the peanut butter

briny thing I think I

At mine immediately in the car driving my coffee immediately

Nothing left by the time we got here. Yes, and then you guys enjoyed yours

Yeah, I mean I stored them like squares. Yeah, and I just stuffed mine down my gullot. You did says a lot about you says a lot about me

Fuck reading I was driving before I different rules

Yeah driving 100% I'll let it us the bunch. Although we weren't here to oven you for

27 minutes try to get I could read good at it. Good at it in the queue

It is a scary image in the Google maps when you see the red line big red line of death the red line of death

Red wine blue line, Tets Avonnie. Yeah, I mean

I tell you what I ever change them what that whole road

With graffiti and stuff like you know, just like you know with the ramen shop and there is we Italian Dali

I said Jesus great. Let's burn rove every time we drive down there is a canoey busses. Yeah, it's driving

That's that's the fucking that's the

That's the that's the elates and that it is what I wish they actually did with you know because let's burn roads always got that like

You know, that's sort of me McFatridge like oh, why let's burn road, you know, yeah, oh let's burn road

Change it locked it locked in you know, and then you might become aware of how many desk noises you make yes, you know because you be talking like this

You know, and then I'm like, yeah, I'm not quite mad. I'm not fucking this guy

I

Wish the lesbian road really classed itself up

You know the main if it's getting that reputation you want it more budget. I want lined with trays

It's the only straight in the city that keep the clean

You know keep it real clean and have somewhere where you can and no parking no if you can't put fucking park anywhere

Where is a man do you spend your luxury points?

Anywhere I can't what do you what do you mean like across the board like you know because everybody likes

Everybody is like my non-negotiable. I will like no, everyone's like okay, you know

I'm pretty bare bones me. You know what I mean?

Just off and I don't really have a fuck but everyone I'm convinced this my theory

I'm convinced that everyone in one area of their like of their life just likes to put away better

You know something yeah, there's there's things where like you cross a threshold

And the door closes behind you what thresholds if you crossed man. I yeah, I think you know

Even getting a coffee today

You know was a task, you know

I said the now I was like where to work and you even I've had three good coffees in the last year

Yes, you know you go in places and it's like it's a nice coffee shop to do all the bullshit and then you drink the coffee and you're like

Here give it a fuck honestly coffee for me kind of like Guinness and then I only really know the difference if it's absolutely

Stank and if it's obviously hoax. Yeah, no, I'm I wouldn't say I was a coffee snob but I'm starting to notice more things

Mm-hmm. What do you notice milkiness? I shite milk. Yes, you know, sometimes you're like I'm gonna have to get an Americano because it's a safe bet

Are you getting in particular notes of certain coffee notes? Yes, yeah, like different roast give you different notes or what?

Yes bars. Yes

Of course, something to get the real fucking I don't know. I don't know what they're doing to whether it's like a light roast or dark roast or whatever

But you know sometimes you get a while fruity one. I don't think my tongue registers notes. I don't think it gets in coffee

I don't think there's much things to stay on your tongue long enough. Yeah, for the rest of it

You eat like a fucking like a paladin

Full check him

But yeah, you know, sometimes sometimes you taste the finer things in life and there's no going back

You get like a really elite coffee and you're like well sure everything else I'm gonna drink from my own stinking rust water

Yes, yes, you know, but you're talking like when I push the when I go like when do you get like a fancy bet?

Probably like, you know, there's a bit of my stand-up of the minute where I say I'm an S-fot

Yes, do you know what I mean? Yeah, you've got a wealth cut wealth cut. Yeah, I'm tets

You know sort of box like a melted candle

Just we things I

Ain't it not you see now's now's gonna probably agree with me on all this we think you know like when you go to buy all of oil

And there would have or something like that there would there would be the time

We just you just grab it. You're just like Tesco's own whatever. Mm-hmm. No, I'm buying it like it's vintage wine

Uh-huh. Do you know what I mean? I'm like looking out. No fucking. Yeah, they're also there

Yeah, yeah, even the shit even the shit ones there. Yeah, but yeah, we we've got the we've all boiled in the house locked up

What is a nice one? What's the code?

It was fucking a hundred pound of all

Uh, I don't know like but you know some brand where the it doesn't have a screw off. It goes like, you know

So all the boy just just small small things. Mm-hmm small things

Uh, that's suppose like

Sometimes the worst thing you can ever do is get yourself something nice. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah

Even a car you know you get a

You get your first automatic car and you're like get that gear stick out of my fucking site. Yeah, I don't want to update

That's hands for a fucking eight pound coffee. Well, you can't just be faster than if automatics can

Uh, you're buying to be able to because there, you know, there'd be people like

There's people with like disabilities and stuff that can still drive

Mm-hmm, but like maybe not a fucking given all this or like need another leg for the clutch or whatever if you can

Uh, you know drive stick. You lose a manly points to you

Yeah, but if you know if you rolled up there and an ass class mark, you like suck the mom points out of my cock

Yes, you know, I like that. There's a lot of mom points out of my cock

Yeah, we're full of bars this morning in sweet trade

That's how it goes. Where do you go luxury? I spent my luxury points at the gym

I've got a bougie gym and I'm like, you know

Me about five years ago would have been like I can't believe I can't be doing that. That's crazy

This one. This one a 20 pound a month. We'll do manual baller. Yeah, and now that I've got one. I'm like

Oh, I can't go back. I can't go back

Yeah, 100% yeah, you're not going to be in one of those like if I can run a Coleman

Yeah, buddy time gyms where it's just all rusty plates. Yeah, you're in there like

I've done me time the rusty plates, you know, and I have got the robot

It is nice. Yeah, although even in a nice place

You are reliant on the other occupants kind of carrying themselves and a half decent manner, you know because

If you go to like a if you go to like a rusty plate kind of imporium, you know, and you look at the showers and there and you're like people are definitely pushing around this place

The driver's personal show now the bougie gym

People are probably doing the same, but it doesn't cross your mind as much

You know, because you're like a people wouldn't push near their passion

Passion in the shower 100% their passion in the showers. I'm not a shower with a hub and pest in many years

You're pushing public showers? No, I don't get that many public shots. I never showed the house

Shared the gym every day. That's fair enough. Yeah free shampoo

Well, it's you know, it's one of my things where you're like, um, you know

There's absolutely no excuse for you not to go to the gym. Uh-huh

Do you know what I mean? You're there's no like oh, I'm gonna go into this fucking shed here. It's gonna be freezing

Not on that. Yeah. Oh, come on. It's all men in there. No, it's clean. Yeah people are wiping up their ass juice. Yeah. No ass juice. Yeah

Sometimes they don't mind about ass juice. I do want. I've got a new target with me

Which is not like actually on the scales. It's more so I want to be fed to wrap the toys they have with the gym. I ride myself

Because

Every other

Walkin' about

Tired around the west paid up looks well

You know what I mean? If I use that time, which I do use the time and tell you to use them pen for it

I have to wrap it around and I have to pick

An area of my body that will be exposed. Yeah, and you know after you know trial and error

I've learned that the CFS bet is to have the side

Hang on. Yeah, you know

But used to be whenever I was first getting used to them

Like a hot chick at the Oscar. Yes. Hold on a stand big split up. We dressed slip

But what it used to be whenever I was first getting used to using these times

I would just like, you know, it's kind of stunning to take the time to wrap it around and then grab it from the back

So I just walk it up and then we are sang and I

Weyosh. Yeah big gleam in check. Hey watch it. What fucks. Yeah, I got only dream of having such cheek. Oh

You've read it yourself. I hate it. It's not cheap. I don't have a dumper like I don't have a dog one. So does too so do

Too gross. Are we flapped? Oh

No, it's just it's just too it's just too fatty brisket's beside each other

You ever see them barbecue shows the boys like robin the brisket? Oh, I two brisket's beside each other

Yeah, yours two rumps. Well, that's probably the problem is it's probably mainly the rompers cause and the disruption

Of the title, you know, you know, you know, we were romped out when you can see it through a dove

Yeah, you know, we discovered yesterday. Yeah

Yeah, he's got a fleece blanket over his ass and I'm still bricked

We tartan blanket. We taught Aztec Aztec

There's a name for it. There's a name. That's picking luxury points. Whatever

It's right. It's about my cash blankets

Uh, what's it got to say? Oh, it's got a fucking slaggy, but something I forgot. It's not gonna be eyed boys. That's the fuck. Tired on the ass

romp

Oh, yeah, the baller move would be, you know, do that thing you put the tile over your head

Tell a little nod and throw it back and then just walk out there don't out. No, no, no, no

You know what I mean? Do we fucking?

Do we turban that you give yourself? No post shire chose. No way. No way. No

Not put a little display for them. No way. Not even the heat of the sharp put a bit of hang on it

Well, I like to do the last 10 seconds kind of

You know, a forward card down just to get me. We did I tell you but the boy it's women

I took out his woman the fellow was talking to me and then he was getting changed and he goes he goes

I'm gonna fucking move off here, you know

No need for the child to see all this. Hi, not for play. I was like absolutely respect. Yeah, so you should do

Yeah, you shouldn't be comfortable just like just flossing your your crack. Yeah with a child

Oh boys go cozy and I tell you what one thing that uh as best me off

You know recently with my gym is each area of the lockers has one bench

and you know

If other people are in that area they have to utilize the bench. They have to use up space. Of course

There are some fellows will have their whole life in that bench

And then you can't just stand there and you're like any any chance. Yeah, but a retail spacer move up MacBook with you, you know

Trying to floss my bag. Yeah, you gotta go down fucking MacBooks sitting there jump trans nice

You know drop dry. Hi

Like you know, you can't like give yourself a nutshell scrub put the toy around you

But then you walk to your locker if this actually just dropped right. Yeah. Yeah, it's nice. Okay. Okay

It's been a while since I was in a public show

Who you see here doesn't

Lottery points. Yeah, I'm DJ Khaled over

Going on Sunday privately book pole

You

Don't even walk around the whole that's not don't even with yeah, Liz burn leisure plaques or whatever it's called

Shut down just me man's never been in Lisbon when it's shut down trust me daddy

Just me screaming with my voice echoing through the whole building on that slide

It was like a fucking plug hole

Bring back the slides

There's no slides anymore no

Oman intervention used to have two historic slides at it. I believe one was yellow one was rad

The red was for spades

You know, yellow was more for the larger for the best

I think just hit the border in America right or yellow

Every one of them so yeah, and they would have like they'd have those little like

cordon off things that would be floaties on them. Yes, they'd have like a swim in Lee and with the slide going straight

Yeah, and every slide went straight hard left. Yeah, yes, it was like

Banging into the pool. I would love to I don't know if that's one of these things where it's like expectation versus reality

But I would love to go back to some kind of a water park, you know, I

Would love to have a day like there's some place. I think it's a New Jersey

Which is an absolute toilet, but there's like a leather center there. What's your good like a water park? Oh, it is terrible

Stink of it, but there's water parks there. It's a produce territory. Oh, yeah class. Yeah, um

But you can like there's an adult day once a month. Yeah, where it's like, you know, they'll have a bar and all the booze it up

Getting a slate

And I'm like that's science class, but what would the reality of that be, you know

Like would you with your 30 plus sheet old brand start to think about the logistics of it where you're like

I'm definitely gonna get something. I'm gonna leave a bunion

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Well, I was thinking more along the lines of someone's gonna boat like yeah, someone's gonna have too many fucking

Spacey marks. Yeah, I'm just be like

Oh, I can't get fucked. I'm a second pretend. They're like that stuff. Did you say Matthew McConaughey drink? No, sir

He made some I wonder can I get it here? Is it worth looking up the McConaughey meal?

Let me see Matthew

Thank you fucking business, right? What I look up on the spare time is Helmaga girls

Spicy chili chili Chris before the continental strip Sado in here. This is gonna be my favorite chili Chris confused to kill

Big love it swing sour mint here and you said all next up sift off these crispy chili

So fresh lime that you know we got it. Oh, wow, it's ice

Oh, wow look at the color on that drink. This is my worst time. I'm great over the jalapenos the finishing touch

I call this the capability able here we go

Fantastic, I'll make you another one later. I'm taking this one

Taking the next one you sexy bitch McConaughey is so manly that like if he poured your drink

I was like this what I like to drink here and then slides it to you. You just have to be like

Seven

I was a little boy. He's a pro today

For the audio listeners there he had he put in chili crisp, you know

With all the floaties in it then the fucka margar or then the tequila

Then the sweet and sour mix some sort of sugary lime probably

And they strained it off to get the the chunks of chili

That's not my gravital and then depth it in tagine

Don't think I could do the bigot words for me a bit of fucka here's not and then he

And then he created a jalapeno on the top fuck off bro

Hey have a stala it would yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all I think takes 45 minutes. Yeah

The burn the shitter off. Yeah, they're gonna drink her a fucking lasagna

What is the ramen shop?

Ah, my famous toe calls

I know more my vape is a stella r-fuck

There's a there's a cocktail bar in New York called out of boy

And there's a guy in there make you should at the hum. He's man of skill

Also a progress on farm

immediate best friends, right

The the whole thing of the bar is like

Which I've only been to one of these before it was absolute wink

Right where it's like you go on and they don't have a menu

Oh, you say what you like and then they're like well, we're not gonna make you that

We'll make something around it

But I had about experience the first time we went to one on Toronto

It was like me and a couple of my friends out there

Went to this one and guard comes up and she's like what would you like and I was like, uh, can I just have like you know?

Um

Like a darken stormy. She's like

Sure, I can make you a darken stormy. I can make you something like a darken stormy

And she goes uh, I'm just gonna ask you a couple of questions and I can like see what kind of like personality you have to the drink

And I was like, yeah, okay, and she goes first question. Do you like citrus?

All right, I was like

30 years from God's Rainer if never once up I can but like what do you think about citrus Spagman? You fun, huh?

I love citrus. Yeah, what's great, but you know faint for the citrus. What a what a

Crocker shit though because you could just go like

You know, we're kind of cold. We don't have a menu

What do you normally drink? What would you normally order in a cocktail bar and you and then you go like

Yeah, like a margarita and they're like, okay, well, where do you see this?

And then they just make a margarita

I put a fucking jalapeno in them be like

Look at that and you're like wow

Amazing, I like the idea. I'm just doing that. Oh, yeah, they got

Like a rapey magic show. Yeah, they got to pretend, you know, so sort of magic. Yeah

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Well, could kind of cocktail would you normally get an establishment? I guess they're like the card in coke and they're like

All right, hold on a second. That is how you fuck up any sort of like whimsy business is sending our boyfriend over here and took

You know, oh yeah, they just immediately put a halt down if they're kind of like the fuck says yeah

And there's no pumps

No pumps smell like it's not sure. I can make you targets from I can make you something like it targets from it

I said I want to fuck on dark and storm. I even send dark and storm is a yeah as a dog

Do you know what do you know what is um a

Weird culture. I wonder is it Irish just just the

I must get a must get on my bottle or something

Oh, I know you know what I mean like somebody does someone at your house. I must get them a bottle or something

Yeah, but people we get in that

The scummy as bottles or something. Yeah, you know, I'd be like oh cheers for Tyler my kitchen

Here's a bottle of

Bacardi. I'll give you a theory of that. Here's here's some white rum that nobody drinks

I think the bottles of something is never to be consumed

It's to be given to you for your event. Yeah, and then

When someone else's event comes along you take that bottle of something and you pass it on

Yes, you're just minding it for a minute. I don't think anybody takes the bottles of something. Yeah, like

Maureen's ma

Did a they have like the bar area and she a few years ago. She did like a bit of a clean out. Yes, and she goes

She was like there are like 42 bottles of gin there. Yeah, and she's like I every like I don't drink gin

Anybody that knows me probably know I've never drank gin and she just keeps getting bought gin repeatedly

My ma has told me to like for you, but like you have to get a bottle of something. Yeah, yeah

For the big boozle that I am

I'm the same. I fucking I probably have some like nice whiskey

And then my dad keeps buying me like scotch

Once a year, and I'm like I can't even drink it

Harper and silly Harper and silly fancy ones too, where I'm like this is fucking resell. Let's need me. Yeah

Oh Jesus, I don't know but the bottle culture is get them in my bottle of something a ball of something

I my ma's my ma's go to gift like if someone's done a good deed by me shit

It's either a bottle of something or take him for a feed

Mm-hmm. How you have to take Peter and have it for a feed something. Yeah, then I do

Good damn about the something

He'll

It's a vintage

It's a vintage he'll I know Peter a very mysterious guy like I said to him like I'm gonna be in LA for the weekend and

he's like

The rations on the Sundays like what you're sorry looking like and I was like no plans yet

And he goes brilliant restaurant booked six o'clock

Couple of di bars. It look pretty good nearby. We'll probably head to one of those and I'm like man. It's so like

You know, he's that organized in his job. It's trekkles. I did the every other area of his life. Yeah

He's like best on your previous piece. You've had one beer every

12 minutes, so I would say we ride this. I tell it by 930

and

Peter by the way one of my only friends

Who will just reach a point where he goes?

No, it's time to go home now and it doesn't matter if you do that. Oh, come on one more. This is great

You're not gonna head home now. It's 10 o'clock and he goes. No, I'm going home now

I'm going home. Yeah, and you're and you're like well

I'll see you tomorrow because I have never went home in my life

Hope you got them keys go the second the foam hits my lips

It's no

Let me have a few pains of jump content

He's very good. He doesn't ever bring in his life like even like you know

We'll go to the cheesecake factory, which is obviously doing for me. He's like I wouldn't be able to use pegs

He said they were the glass of water

Just watching you fucking

But the same guy who everyone everyone has a face

Everyone has a face. He don't trust a man doesn't have a face and he on the smack is he? No, this is

Adibles

Okay loves an edible. Oh, well, he's got a you know, you got to switch off the fucking

You know the business brain the other sorry just talking about does going in the fucking

Places you sent me that there where the Irish fathers walk around the place like they're being carried away by God

by the guards

Just the hearts behind the back

There is you know, do you know what I think it is I think it's when families

Go places

All together. Yes, the DA

Unless he's kind of picked it the DA is like I would much rather be doing anything else. Yes, you know

So there's a lot of just

Hands behind the back like oh well look at that. That's that's mad and in the back of his head

He's like I need to grate that bathroom

Or like I fuck out riff needs par host like it's it's all going through his brain at once

And he's walking or he's like a foot my fucking nice sweater on yeah, I'm walking around and I'm just

Absolutely get there so we're with yeah, you know my mom's got that to an extreme degree

Yeah, like I remember I'm definitely sorry before but the time that she did the boss tour with dad

And she's well about in the hip, you know, okay, and they're on the boss turn

It was like flat out like all right folks. We're gonna get off here for like 20 minutes

You don't walk around because you've been just and she did like five of them in a row like stops and she was just like

Get me back to our hotel. I'll fuck us eat to kill them. Hey, and then the main headline stop was up. Yeah, the grand canyon

And she goes I'm not getting off this fucking buff and my dad was like oh, just you have to us the grand canyon is the many she's good

I don't give to you fucking grand fuck

Stand the boss. I'll get off for it's the great canyon. You know the way not the grand canyon

Now you'd say I wouldn't go see them. They were playing the anime better for the coverage of me

My love wouldn't get off the boss to the grand canyon

Grand Canyon right there. She's standing the boss hurt the window like a wee dog in a car

Skate

And then of course like all my sisters feel like oh my god the grand canyon shots like you know people travel from all over the world

To see that and she goes I don't give two fucks. She goes if it was 20 minutes down the road

That's it though if it if it doesn't matter to you don't matter to you. Oh heat will shut my mother down like

Yeah, round of useless. It would shut me down really quick. Tell you like yeah, just fucking boiling

Yeah, but um, do you remember that video that there's like a family at the grand canyon and this black family

And we we keep black kid who always see more mature than the rage you know you get like a four year old

We're like what you looking at mother fuck yeah, and as we can't get so often he's like looking around

He goes he goes where's the canyon and they're like that's it. Yeah, that's the whole fucking canyon. Yeah

But it is it not like fucking you know like one of the places where you just crock an egg in the floor and the cooks. Oh, I

We I should not be anywhere near that any any like big massive like you know lawnmark. Yeah, I've ever seen

The enjoyment period is about 20 seconds

Yeah, then like right where we get something they do rose

But that's it like the imagery that you're seeing is

You know probably a photographer took a stunning photo of somewhere. Yes, and then it's it kind of like anything you just kind of like wow

It's pretty cool up. Yeah, I full-tired. Where's this gift shop? Remember seeing that and like

Fuck right off his mod and then back in the real there. We were like

This fuck is gonna go say just a back from there

Yeah, it's almost like

You know if you were seeing any that like the grand canyon or fucking

We call it one of Australia airs rock or something

You know, you're like you really you feel like you want to like drive there yourself and like come there or something

Yeah, not just like hop off a bus and go fuck me mod

Is that like tech talk brin? Is that like we can probably we kind of appreciate like actual landmarks anymore probably

Yeah, it was like me and like the tape modern looking at famous bits of pop art. I was like

It's not a painting. You know the main like no it's there's no craft in it. Yeah, it's like a print

But it's worth millions and it's famous and I have seen that print in a book and seeing it right there in a frame

I couldn't give a flam fuck. Yeah, get me out of here. Yeah, do you know the main sod master?

Where did I go when fucking maximum?

Where did I go in Mexico

Some some famous like it's not I know there's like a

It was like chichen it's a her something right one of these fucking pyramids

Mm-hmm. That was cool

But then the fucking tour guy was like, you know

Super excitable

Yeah, the tour guy will dictate the experience this guy's like fucking and then they were severed ahead and they severed ahead and kick it down the steps

Yeah, that I never was like throwing up in their hand and I'm like

Laughful man

Fucking class bro. Oh

Joshua tree. Oh, that's what I appreciate. Oh

That's what I like yeah, I like that. I was like this is genuinely this feels like I'm on a different planet

But that's instead of a lot of markets more like an area

You know what I mean? Yeah, well, I've had that as well. Yeah, you go in tenor afe you go up that

LTD or whatever the volcano and then on the way up. They're like, oh, yeah, the shot um fucking

Plano to the yips here

And you know you get out and you're like fuck me it does look like a different planet

That's crazy. It's not so fine. It's like this

It's

Absolute fucking like marvel of natural land and be like a lot of the yips. I shot it right here

If you don't think it looks cold. No, what do you hear this little fuck to it? They shot a plan of the yips here. Oh

I get it. Nice. When do you get the plan the way who much plan the yips?

You'll really appreciate this piece of land. You won't be able to focus you'll be like fuck me

See not yeah

That's a good time. See nuts. That's what that's all our marks are. See nuts

Seen that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I watched Spider-Man

You know, yeah, you see the Flutter in Bolton saying that yeah

Hawaii Mona saying that but not animated

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Do you reckon if you're like a photographer like a street photographer or whatever and you're like man

Making a making my trip to New York

And you fucking get on the subway and everything and you roll up outside that flower. I'm building and there's like 40 other photographers

And a cure you basically to get that spot at the yeah at the fucking traffic lights like it's it's my turn bro

Let me get my version of the fucking there was I did see that in real life where it was like you know a certain sunset that happens

like once every couple of years and

It's like a dumber was it was that no

It's like beside Union Square Station. It was like just this one straight

But apparently whatever where the sun comes in or whatever and I went down there and it was literally what you just said

It was like 40 photographers all like getting like the right angle of it. Yeah

That is a bit like that don't move place now, and oh yeah

There's like one spot in the middle of the street where you can like see you know

Fucking clean dying to clean through the bridge and then there's like one building

And pass the building like right in the fucking gap of the bridge and you think you're you know

A prize-winning photographer and every elect from there. Oh, this was like taxiday and then I just wrote the phone I went

I mean

Some of them are some Japanese guy there with this fucking you know thing on a tripod and you're like I move over bro. Yeah

What I nailed it

Nailed it one print the straight the print. It is funny

Straight the mother fucking print. Have you seen all this shit online where people keep um

They keep talking about

We have another theory to get to have you see have you seen like

I don't know whether I'm just getting all these fucking parenting memes where they're like um, you know

I didn't like understand my life until I heard about the fucking

Boyle-deague theory or something have you seen all these I haven't know there's like a million different

And then you know they they put that on the screen and then you've the read the fucking caption

I didn't understand life till I heard about the fucking the hairbrush theory or something do you have an example of one of these theories?

And that's all you know so fucking

It'll be it'll be something like I can't even read. I don't know there was like a naked mom theory or something

Right given you know

People body confidence

You know like oh my match run around that's out right. I just didn't care right

But there will be things like that like I just didn't understand my family dynamic. I heard about the

The pancake there

You know my father used to make pancakes for us. They just feel that's feel you know safe and welfare

Yes, and we grew up without a fuck any fucking mental health issues or something

But everyone has a theory hang on me. I might make someone

It's all spoof on it. It's told Smith. It's just people trying to fucking justify whether mental

Yeah, we need religion back. We need Jesus back. Jesus takes a comeback. That was it. You're re-mastered Christian

That was it, you know the theories the original theories ready there. Yeah, you know what I mean

But see people people stuck to that and they're like well this explains life whatever

And I godless people searching everywhere felt the Havens searching everywhere not names and all more Christian soldiers

Yes, big Jesus man. Oh God's best soldiers

I'm in a G you know the god you know

G Jesus you know

But now send us the theory here. I'm gonna read through this here. Oh here we go. Here we go

Um, this is is renamed for this theory now

Oh

the four burners

In this statement

Beness

The work-life balance and they've got a lovely little diagram here

Four burners on your hub

Health work family friends, right? Mm-hmm first burner family friends health work

At the four burners theory says that in order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. Mm-hmm

And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two

Boys it there

So three views of the four burners, right? Okay, my initial reaction to the four burners theory was to search

For a way to bypass it. Can I succeed and keep all four burners running?

I wondered perhaps I could combine two burners. What if I lumped family and friends in the one category

Maybe I could combine health and work

Here setting all days on healthy. What if I got a standing desk? Now I know

What you're thinking

Believing that you will be healthy because you bought a standing desk is like believing you're a rebel

Because you ignored the fast and seat belt sign on the airplane, but whatever

Soon I realized there was inventing these workarounds because I didn't want to face the real issue

Life has filled with trade-offs if you want to excel in your work and in your marriage

Then your friends and your health

May have to suffer if you want to be healthy and succeed as a parent

Then you might have to you might be forced to dial back your career ambitions. Of course

You're free to divide your time equally among four burners

But you have to accept that you will never reach your full potential in any given area

Where's your where your burners distributed?

I'd say a family and friends are blaring yep healthy flame

Yep career is like slowly flaming up. Yeah, I mean

The health one the hubs aren't even on

The lines blocked lanes blocked the girl the gas lanes blocked

You sparky that four of hob yeah, yeah, it's tough. It's tough on the thing, but I would say my

Family is probably blaring the most and the family

Definitely and I would say the the work one is

Blaring to and but I think I think even with two your juggling that a lot

Do you know what I mean?

Friends we were discussing this other day. I think like you get a lot of friendship action

Doing comedy. Do you know what I mean? You can sort of go like oh, I don't you know

I'm maybe not like fucking spend loads of time with my friends, but I will say a lump of them in this green room tonight

Or something like that. Yeah, do you know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm

And I think it's why I always try like for your home from New York. I'm like let's do another thing. Yeah

Do you know the main even yesterday felt nice? Yes, you know, we weren't just like fucking we're gonna get this podcast done

Whatever, you know, we we shot a thing. It was kind of forward, but it was fun. Yes, you know, we had a nice lunch

It was fun. Yeah, it is nice for us to have non-recorded conversations

I know and every time you're talking to me. I'm like Jesus Christ. That's money down the drain

You'll be like you'll be like oh fuck me to hear what my master said to me and I'll be like I go ahead

I

But I think I think like honestly like

I don't know, but like on different days. I switch I switch a certain hob off

What would you say you're a percentage?

I would say the the family is like

You can't

You can't really dial a back

Do you know what I mean? Well, you can but you can't

Yeah, what's that mean like for you it's important, but people would dial a back. Yeah

You know, yeah, look what Chris Williams is none of this podcast

Fucking he's gonna be but two two weeks of the drinks were fucked

Can I I can't yeah, I suppose like right though

But like there's there's a lot of like I might I might sometimes

I you know, I do talk myself out of things in my like sometimes I go

Jesus, you know if I didn't have to fucking take care of my family

Maybe I could do something stupid like make more videos or something which is a crazy thought which is a crazy thought

Or whatever or like push things a bit further or whatever or there's certain things were like

You know say like with this podcast and all you know people are going like oh when you go to go to Australia

And I'm like not anytime fucking soon

That'll have it on you not not in the next five years probably, you know, but

It's definitely I could but it's definitely probably my choice

Because there's plenty I think like I know I have to go in go and turn you know go to work in far away places

But there's plenty of times like even if I've been in like fucking gallway or something and have a hotel book and whatever

And I do just finish the gig and go fuck it. I'll just go home and arrive home with fucking four in the morning

And likely be up at eight again, you know, but like I choose I choose it that way so that I can like

Max I both things if you know what I mean here's the question for you. Do you think the hub is

subconscious behavior

How so well no one's really looking at their life until they hear something like this and go on like

What ratio do I give to family and friends versus work and help

Yeah, I mean, so it's like you left your own devices. This is how your life pans out

Yes, what do you feel is most important? Yeah, yeah, you're well-being

It sounds nice. Here's my here's my theory on theories

It's like a well-packaged

Possibly can be so old on into a book. Yeah, framework for life

But I think that human beings are far too complex to bullet down to like one visual diagram. Oh, I know

But like and those those things change on different days. Yes, you know, depending on like

Say like yesterday for example, you know, it shit to do whatever that was like that was me going

This is work

Like I think it's like more of an overall

Yeah, but we are lucky as in like our work is fairly intense for

Awake a month. Mm-hmm yours you've to do all the afterbets obviously, but like

You know

Morrie knows that I'll I'm just kind of

You know, I'll be home when I'm home type of thing for like our our recording week, but the tradeoff is

I'm not really doing that for the other three

Yeah, that's why I'm trying with the gym in New York because I know when I come back here the Hobbes off

You know, well, that's the same. You know if if I have a regular

Day at home, you know, and it's usually it's you it is usually like Monday Tuesday

I'm like a hairdresser, you know what I mean

Get that Monday off then I fucking fire up the the health

The health burner and I go I'll go to jiu-jitsu and you know the family and the health will be turned up

Yeah, you know the main and I'm maybe not thinking about work or whatever. Yeah changes there bad day

Yeah, but I don't think that's the point what's the point the points like you're overall overall

Like if you were to take your whole life. Yeah, put it into the foreburners. Yeah, that's what it makes sense. Yeah

Well, it's probably definitely

family and work

Yeah, or a rating or a rating the most of the but like you know

I suppose like I

You know a job and a fucking

Whatever it is like we do where it's like a

It's like a career, you know what you know the main it's like what what is the term for that

It's not career. It's like fucking

Because if I turn one of the grammar burners on over here

Um, you know, it's a thing that it's a thing that was like a probably like a dream at one point and you've worked the way

At it and it's it's not like it's not just like having a job. It's like a passion as well. Yeah, yeah

um

So it's not like you're going like oh, I'm fucking I've turned my

Shitty job where I like work for some company

Up

You know, you're like I also work hard on this because I fucking wanted to be professional at it for

10 years plus before actually fucking worked. Yeah, you know what I mean

But yeah, on a on an overall scale it's family and work turned up

And then there's probably like fucking small windows where you get to turn the health one on yeah

And the friends are kind of just mixed in when they're mixed in

Let's go text my friend there and I burn anyone up there. We're gonna be a bit

We better read their action on the gas, but yeah, it's funny. You know, let's say it's take like McCarney there

Me and McCarney are like going on the rep or something. Mm-hmm. Do you know the main we fucking

We might meet up when it's and have like lunch or something and then we're talking about work. Yeah, do you know the man? Yeah

Maybe I should take him away for the week

Less than walk less less shot of my work here. We're going to parse tomorrow. Yeah

They cross on some talk about fucking more work

Talk about movies or something

Is it funny like I always find when you're chatting to over comics about comedy you're like, you know

It's kind of standard like how is that right? But then if I'm chatting to someone

I'd say that about comedy. I'm just like I really can't bear us talking about this

Like to my to my friends outside of stand up

We never chat about stand up and I love that yeah

I think that's what people say like make sure to have like a community of people outside of your career

Otherwise, it just fucking you know

Inheals everything around you

That's probably how you have the ball better and betchy and yeah, okay fucking shade. Yeah

Um, yeah, it's not New York. Jesus Christ. It's interest vocation

Is that the word I'm looking? Oh, you still looking for that

I

My burners are gold I have to I have a hot plate on the side

Sorry, that thing just went off in the microwave

That word just with me and I was in the microwave. Yeah, I was speaking of that of you

I watched a friend's murder go off in real-time. Yes

So we went

We went to a place where it was like they were still serving food, but it was for take-out so like set in wasn't an option

An oma yeah, and we went to it and

We're both kind of standing there and he like took ladies you know the main you know if you walk in like two men

And someone asked to you know vocalize what it is you're after so we walked down

He can't took me anywhere. I was like go ahead, man

And he goes yeah, we're just wondering can you still sit in and the guard said I'll have to check here

So then she went downstairs to like check and then we wait there for a couple of seconds and she comes back and goes

No, but he just can take out if he's want and you know pretty simple thing to you know reply back

Do you just go oh that's okay or or no? Well that's more but thank you very much for checking

He just went oh, okay, and they just walked out

But I was like what the fuck was that about and he's like do you ever get that we just shut down?

So she and I was like, I mean yeah, but that was a pretty dramatic one

She keep on because now you can take it if you want to go

Yeah, yeah, and then just walked out and I was like what the fuck man?

Hold off and stuff

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Yeah, my my social mile function and that's now I'll be like oh fuck me

It's totally right stupid reaction. Yeah, fuck you are immune

What like you'll never

What you'll never have one of those because you'll just immediately like go so TTI that it's like you don't you can't even reference it

I would that's a that's a disorder as well. Yeah

Copa mechanism Copa mechanism. I just got done there. Sorry. Yeah, ding. Sorry

Copa mechanism and the microwave. Oh, it's a cyclone. How else is there you go pop that

Yeah, what is that because I I think um I

Think there probably was a time when I was quite like

So you know like oh god, I have to fucking

Go in here and deal with

Whatever in a bank or so, you know like do you have a fucking serious conversation or yeah

Make a phone call to someone and I would have been

You know, it's a bit weird, but it did grow out of it pretty quickly like and you would be amazed what you get if you just ask

You know if people get getting a bit like oh my god, that's okay

Yeah, I get that if you can just go in and be nice and ask a lot of times it goes your way

Yeah, well like even you know, it is funny the more friendly you get with people and then the more you like kind of notice

There are like queps you know like we things they do

That's very sort of centric that individual

And you definitely see it a lot and like social dynamics, you know

Like group dinner is shit like that, you know

You're seeing everyone firing all cylinders the one time. Yeah, I'll be honest

You know

Social guy enjoy company enjoy where we kind of you know group conversation

Suddenly, but a dinner of over six people will drive me mad

Overstepping I just it's like too much. Yeah, because I'm like

Taking in all the conversations. Yeah, and then I'm hoping I get like a half-day some conversation partner

Yeah, and then I say I'll be chatting to them and say they're chatting about some absolute shit and I'm like

Oh fuck say two over there. It's having a far better. Yeah

That's a conversation I would phrase and I'm sitting down to this capic cross foot. Yeah, you know

That's the problem

That's the problem, but then also I you know, whatever whatever sort of Tesla. I have if there's any more than like one noise

like this

Fume yeah, I definitely notice that we absolutely even the day. I like kind of have the rational

And I just had a plan and the bugger and he's really like having a conversation

And like I think one thing Niles said that you couldn't hear look at this way and uh you were like

Or now I was like what'd you say they're sorry and you were like turn it off and fucks like what you know

But it was I was wrestling commentary Blair. I'm like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't have a serious conversation

But yeah, like the two noises this fucking is insane like yeah

Even trying to have a call fuck me look at that. Listen to this throw me completely

Do you know the way like you be having that

Yeah, sometimes you'd be chatting in like a in a cafe or something and you're just like it's just

We've started to close to the coffee machine. Yeah, I get that. I get that

You're like can we just stand outside in the rain have an actual fucking chat like

Things like I do my fucking head. I know I don't know if it's an age thing or maybe it's like that, but I

I really drag Gordon to like because you know, I've abused my ears

Quite a bit for a few years. Yeah, I mean got ton of us whatever

I dread like a bar where the music is just too light to the point where you kind of have a conversation

I hit asking people to repeat themselves. I fucking hit it

It makes me feel so embarrassed

I do a lot of you know, like holding holding a drink and putting my ear down

And I'm trying to less I'm still trying to lesson and I'm basically just staring at my face on can't hear a thing

Do you know what I mean? I'm just like I'm craning my neck and I'm staring at my own shoes

And I'm just basically I should just go can't hear you. It makes me understand my dad because my dad used to back in the day

He'd get there right up onto your knife

Yeah, but it's because he wanted to hear what you were saying anymore

Not kind of distance. He was it was completely lost in the noise. No, I get that you know

And it really as a visual cue it really makes because when people do it to me

I'm like this person really cares what I have to say. Yeah, you know

Because you're just like right up and you like this here. Yeah, and like all I do when I'm doing that is give the occasional nod

Yeah, cuz I can't have a conversation me. It's too loud. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, like you know if you're going into like a restaurant slash bar you're going for pints or something

Low back around music. Yes, right? Yeah, and then the jump between the jump after that full night club where you can't talk

Yeah, yeah anywhere in between don't want to hear do you what I think the sort of like thing in terms of like

What makes you kind of really build a

Friendship or a poro someone is that when you use both notice the same thing

And you don't even have to reference it there and then I might not be safe, but like 20 minutes there you go

What about fucking Danana and you're like I cut that too. Yeah, or like same over her conversations. Mm-hmm

I love shit like that. Yeah, that's great. Synergy. It is synergist exactly what it is

There was a when we were having lunch other day

There was a group of ladies from some sort of workplace obviously on the work lunch and they'd

Like when you were sent a minute ago sex beddies chatting and then two

Youngest probably of the group who were probably still like third day. They were just like

They look like they weren't even with them, but

Like I don't know the exact same thing. There's like sex in the marathon blah blah blah

That's too sweet for me, you know

These two look like they weren't with them, but push their table up. Yeah, they were just fucking yeah

Chat the way to themselves these beddies going absolutely nuts. Yeah, these two were just like like this bring back the both

The boobs are best. That's the best place to get drunk on pretend. It's COVID. What what chippy

What's that famous chippy and like port rush

Seller for sounds cracking or something. Oh, no, so that's a restaurant

That's by castle. No, this was I think it's called cracking or something like other anyway

I think it was like a COVID measure. They had like little small sort of sheds outside. Mm-hmm. Great. Yeah. Yeah

Get in the fucking sign proof

Shed and lessen to each other too. That's it. That I'm insufferable

I'll be in the restaurant being like too much noise in here turn a noise off. We stop eating like that

Come when I need a sample sensory tab vision tank just sit in there and fucking eat the rados text people

Headphones on rock and roll

Meal having us just guys in a booth

Some of the best ones my life. Maybe you know, oh god. I still always think about it this guy put up

You know, like a little highlight video of his stagged or like in America like a what do they call? Oh

Boxer party, butch party

Um and these dudes were just by this fucking sort of you know like barmy evening

Fly fishing beside a little piece of water. Yeah a few bears in the in the yaddy cooler. Yeah, I was like that's the way man should spend time

Yeah, but sometimes you want to appreciate the moment until it becomes a memory

Wow

I seen a quote from from the American office. Can I tell you something? No, I just did that what I didn't read that

That was an original thought. I just thought setting him over time. Oh

Sometimes you want to appreciate the moment until it becomes a memory

Well, that's the age old

Lesson in life

Is it yeah, I just reworded something that's already but that's is that not like fucking all who sends

Some stop and smell the roses. Sometimes I say something. I'm like damn

Where'd that come on? Yeah, the hob was on this. That's the fucking that's modern wisdom when you're going to sleep in there. That's what that is

But sure there's the famous bed and the American office where the guy was like do you ever wonder if you're in the good old days

Oh, yeah, these are definitely the good old days. Do you remember if you're in the good old days and you know

Should you stop and like realize that and then he sort of tears up. It's what he called him Ed Helms or whatever

And he gets with a terrier and he goes something should write a song about that

You know

Deep stuff. Yeah, deep stuff is true

I

I've done it plenty recently that that comedians comedy right the back of the SSE

I and everyone was pissed up and down breaking themselves and I was like this is fucking as good as it gets

As like it says I'm gonna get any better for anybody. Yeah, this is fucking unbelievable. Yeah

Put a gag on sale sell it in a half thousand tickets. You only have to be 15 minutes

We should be fucking formula one style blasting champagne in there

And in case that but instead everybody was just like yeah, I've drive home similar. Mm-hmm me. I was the same. Yeah, do you know me but even that

I you know, I kind of zoomed out and I was like oh my god. This is like

After the gig, you know when everyone's kind of like oh, what are you up to? You're gonna go ahead and get fucked up whatever and I was like

I would have done that, you know, but this time I just went home and I got to the house

And that class goes we'll make a party and I was like yeah made a party. Yeah me mom and him just sat down

Chatted with the guy and I was like

This is nice here. I know it's a beautiful, you know like beautiful moments like we had a probably like a three-week old baby

And I was like I can go from this in the my car back to the house

Sleep on a little dog bed beside the bed

And you're just like because we have a lovely little wee baby

Do you think that's why people recommend journalism because it sort of brings you back into the action of like

You know taking mental stock of things that you should actually be grateful for. Oh, well, you know

As one gives it is a lot of them journals are like, you know

Right down three things that were good today or like you were grateful for or whatever probably does make you stop and be like

Like we had a like when we were

We were in the back of that quad the other day. Yeah, and you know, it was about five o'clock when all the

All the traffic all the work traffic was heading up that road, which is normally reasonably dead

And we're getting a few toots from cars. Yeah, and I and I it's on film on my club

But then I was like, ah enjoy your job. Yeah, fuck it

As

As we were like literally on the back too too fat, but

Too fat and so you can describe the two buttons on a quad

Fucking just like imagine imagine being a mark, you know

Fuck guys motorbike

Oh, we've got it up here. Do we?

Yeah, I don't even know what about

I don't even know what that was also. Oh, yeah

Remember remember when I said you know, I was like let me carry that

Pally kiss and then I had I sort of took off and it was like I'm gonna have to keep one hand in this and you'd film me

Cravicide oh, I saw I saw crab us clean out. Yeah

But there we go. We're just good. You know because as a man who's slept as always, right?

That's rare. I get to see you know, you slip up like a

Oh, yeah, my slits always are I kind of hope it's to help them back. Yeah, so I'm just accepted up

Well, I had yeah, that's hey, I

That yeah, how's that? Yeah, it's all this fuck

Well, you can make a vote for us. No, that's not that's a natural bean bag for legs

Yeah

That's what I think I look like sometimes I put jeans on. I'm like the fucking size these jeans

I mean, that's kind of swagger before yeah, I'm really bad ass

But yeah, I mean like

That man that I mean like you faulty the trash in front of them like

Absolutely, you'd be like hold up book

Just jam it in between the flaps

You could literally put down like them some on their balance. Yeah, we play it

I would say they probably do you need just eat yourself. I'd say I'd say our boys finance, you know, treats and snacks weeks later

Oh, I want a lot. I take it down there locked up in the folds

This is the gratitude special

Yeah, this is really self-dabricating episode self-dabricating. Yeah, I don't like so. Hi, hi North

Like how not self-dabricating. Yeah, do you know what that means? Yeah, like given in for me like

Giving up information about yourself that you might hold like a bit tight in other circumstances. No

Like you know where people use that term in comedy. Yeah, self-dabricating comedy

And you think that means just being very open. Well like when people are like like that's what the thing people had are in

Jan Zier to put some of the millennials over it being like oh, millennials love like self-dabricating comedy

Where it's like oh, I guess I'll just go kill myself then

Well self self-dabricating would be yeah, like talking yourself down for

Comedy effect. Yeah, you know like go up and you do

Fucking ten minutes about how much of a fuck sure. Yeah, that's self-dabricating. Yeah

But the way you said there was just like oh, you just being like honest

No, no, no, no, no, how do we describe this podcast?

Reflective

Yeah, reflective. I like that. Yeah, you better ask me some of them. No

No

No

Would you like me to ask you something? I sound like a therapist now

Um, I can't cheat now

Do you think

Think your best days are heavy

1000%

Yeah, yeah, I'm very confident that good. There's a lot of life milestones that I have yet to experience. Yeah, you know, I mean yeah

I'm gonna meet the love of my life. Uh-huh. We're gonna get married. Uh-huh. We're gonna get a house. Yeah, you're the main family burner right up family burner

Get that flame bled air fryer

Fuck good thing. I saw the hub. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like my carbs and I can't cook but I I do think

You know with with the cards

Personally, I've been dealt. I feel like I'm on these the burners pretty well. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean

Best days are heavy

Easy I was shot in the end with a sore day. I know I'll tell you something

Then then when you have all those things to deal with you'll be like remember the good old days

When we used to go for sweet treats and the middle of fucking podcast and all

I will still be getting the odd bricky here. I was jets out in the boat ganging everywhere and I'm fucking changing not be so

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It is and when it comes it comes, you know, that's why I think like you know

I think people when they

Progress any age to a certain degree they sort of like take all their wisdom which they have gathered over the years

And maybe they become frustrated with like people like their sons or whatever where they're like

Oh, well, you should just know all this but it's like no, it took you years to gather that up

Oh, yeah, like you can't just expect me to have an immediate effect of that

That's a few years to figure that out. Of course

Fruit life lessons. Oh, yeah, painful. Yeah, painful costly life lessons. Yeah, that's why I like when older people give you advising my sisters

If I had to just lessen to them. Yeah, when it came to

You know these hoes. Yes

Yes, my whole hub is fucked

So it's like a Japanese barbecue

Try to do your whole hub. Yeah, we're doing yakitor. But yeah, like I could have avoided

So much shit about a lesson to like their initial advice and not at the ripe age of 31. I kind of go

Okay, everything they said is clearly correct, you know

But when you're younger, you kind of put it down to like like oh, well, that's a generational difference

Or like I'd be different from me or you know, this is a very

unique experience they had

There is some shit that is just universal, you know, oh, yeah, of course

Lesson to everybody

Yeah, that's why I'm talking to strangers all the time. I want answers

David Tell said that one time. He's like, you know, you hang around with older comedians to just get the the trekled iron

West them yeah, and then you hang out with the young ones to keep you

relevant and cool. Yeah

100%

Thank you. He's one of the funniest man there. He is easily one of the funniest man there. Top five. Yep. Top two in five. He's top two in the intake

Uh, let's go ahead and hear before we both start crying um

Let's get absolutely. I enjoyed that. I got

Hey guys, sorry, we had a conversation

Sorry

You know

Where is the com talk? Where is the com talk?

patreon.com forward slash the bombs go on pod failure fucking birds will come. Yeah

As we say. Yeah, oh the com hub is high over there. The com hub. Yeah, two two dials. Shit and come. Yeah

Spinal top both of them go to the 11

This one goes to 11. Oh, fuck shot come

Are you farting? Yeah, but I was saying

Oh there

No, no, no, it's good. Oh no, it's still dry. It's good

It's good, but it's not it's not this

Guys, we'll see yeah, Thursday. I suppose

I'm a lovely week folks. I'm a lovely way. He's the golden years

Maybe maybe less than that episode with a notebook

Mm, you know, and draw a little diagonals of your burners. Yes, or whatever

Uh, thanks for listening guys. Pleasure as always. See you next week. Thanks for the team over

At bombs go on pod. Uh, we'll see you Thursday. Yes. Take it easy. Nice.

You look folks to come to your cells on each other

Jerry Springer