Ep84 Holy Sex, part 3: Expectations, Desires & NFP w/ Renzo & Monica Ortega

"Each family finds within itself a summons that cannot be ignored, and that specifies both its dignity and its responsibility: family, become what you are."
~ St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, §17

How do I acknowledge and communicate my sexual desires & needs?
What do I do when my expectations about sex in marriage are unmet?
Is it possible to keep the spark alive while practicing NFP?

In episode 84, Pat and Kenna welcome Monica & Renzo Ortega for the final installment of their “Holy Sex” series. Together, they dive into the nitty-gritty realities of sex, intimacy, and marriage from a faith-filled, honest perspective. The conversation explores expectations versus reality, navigating communication, vulnerability, and the unique challenges of practicing NFP, whether trying to achieve or avoid pregnancy. The Ortegas share personal stories and offer compassionate advice for couples wrestling with unmet expectations, shame, or the need for deeper connection. This episode is rich with practical wisdom, laughter, and encouragement, inviting couples to have those hard-but-holy conversations and rediscover the gift of authentic intimacy in marriage.

Renzo & Monica Ortega have been married since 2012 and have 5 kids. They facilitate youth and marriage prep ministry for their home parish and they love to talk about all things marriage and family life on their podcast: Two Become Family. They've also co-authored a book entitled Lovemaking: How to talk about sex with your spouse (a guide for everyday Catholics).

Episode 84 Show Notes

Chapters:

0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards
13:50: A faithful & practical approach to sex
19:39: Expectations vs. Reality in sex
32:06: Challenges with NFP when trying to become pregnant
42:56: What about sex when you're using to NFP to rightly avoid pregnancy?
53:13: Challenge By Choice

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?
2. If you're married, what were your expectations around sex before marriage? How have the played out so far?
3. How has your background or upbringing shaped your views on sex, and how have those views influenced your relationship?
4. How has striving for chastity within marriage challenged or changed your understanding of love and self-gift?
5. What’s one “hard conversation” about intimacy, fertility, or expectations that you’ve been avoiding with your spouse? How might you create space for that discussion?

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Music: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.