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I'm Dr. O'Royan Teraban, and this is Cycax, better living through psychology, and the
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topic for day short talk is bad boys.
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So there are a number of masculine archetypes that successfully attract women, but no
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archetype is more perennially successful in attracting women than is the bad boy.
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And this is actually counterintuitive to a lot of men, especially those men who listen
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to women when they describe what they are looking for in a man.
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You know what comes out of their mouths?
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I want a man who respects me, a man who gives green flags, a man who buys me flowers, a
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man who is emotionally available, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and allow me to assure
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you a bad boy ain't doing any of that shit.
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And yet, and yet he is going to enjoy a great deal of optionality when it comes to women.
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So let's talk about why this might be the case.
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First and foremost, you have to appreciate that bad boys violate rules and social norms.
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Like that's essentially what makes them bad.
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However, leaving the moral judgment behind, it's this behavior that makes these men anti-social
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And dangerous men are attractive to women for a variety of reasons.
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But danger is exciting.
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And excitement, like by definition, is emotionally stimulating.
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And any, any effective seduction technique works precisely to the extent that it succeeds
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in stimulating a woman's emotions.
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However, there's a deeper reason behind why this particular form of emotional stimulation
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is so effective with women.
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Similarly, it allows the woman to transcend her fear through identification.
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Say what you want about anti-social men, but they possess some degree of courage.
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It takes courage to break rules and violate social norms, to say the thing that no one
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else is willing to say and do the thing that no one else is willing to do.
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Most people, especially women, go through life afraid.
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They're afraid of the consequences of acting according to their own desires or speaking
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their truth because they fear the resultant censure and social judgment.
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So the bad boy communicates through his actions that he has the courage to act in line with
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his desires and to speak his mind.
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This makes him incredibly attractive, as it suggests that he is both strong enough to
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exist without the approval of others and resourceful enough to exist without the support of others,
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which segues into my next point.
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Bad boys give main character energy.
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Because they take what they want from life rather than ask permission to receive it.
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Most people are working within the system to scrape together the satisfaction of their
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They wait and they toil and they submit and they obey, but bad boys don't do that.
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If they want it, they take it.
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Or at the very least, they have the courage to operate within their own systems.
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Consider the Disney movie Aladdin, in which Princess Jasmine falls for Aladdin, our
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Aladdin, first and foremost, is a criminal.
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He exists in the underclass of society and yet he succeeds in seducing the sultans daughter.
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He does so under false pretenses granted, but it kind of requires a dangerous anti-social
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personality to seduce under false pretenses, doesn't it?
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In any case, that's the deeper meaning of the movie's show stopping hit a whole new world.
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Down there, on the ground, that society.
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The system of rules and laws and social norms where everyone is fruitlessly toiling in
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the desperate hope that one day they might be able to earn their hearts desire.
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But with a magic carpet, Aladdin is quite literally above all that.
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Come with me, Princess, and you will finally, finally experience the life that you have
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been too timid and afraid to procure for yourself.
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And defy with me, and you'll be able to access vicariously some of the courage, some
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of the boldness that you need in order to fly above the rules and judgments and expectations
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You can't do it yourself.
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Because if you could have done it, you would have done it by now.
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Identification with me is your ticket out of the labyrinth of rules and self-denial and
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an invitation into personal freedom.
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Even if that personal freedom is fundamentally anti-social.
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If you're interested in taking your understanding to the next level, I would encourage you to
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check out the captain's quarters, my members only self-improvement community.
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Your monthly membership will get you access to a cadre of like-minded, supportive individuals
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by monthly group consultation sessions hosted by yours truly and exclusive content that
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you won't find anywhere else.
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Click the link in the description for more information, hope to see you aboard.
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Now this is a big part of why women are attracted to wealthy men as well.
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Wealth, like anti-social boldness, allows people to live above the rules of society.
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I don't make the news.
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You've all been following the Epstein file stuff, right?
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What we're seeing is the unveiling of a global cabal of elites that have long been operating
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over and above not only the rule of law, but the dictates of basic human dignity and morality.
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Many of the revelations are disgusting and abhorrent if not completely evil.
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But none of them should be completely surprising.
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People seek wealth and power in order to not be constrained by the forces that bind the
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masses, rules for thee, but not for me, kind of a thing.
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So that's a big part of why women are attracted to wealth.
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Like anti-social tendencies, wealth offers a kind of liberation from the constraints that
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most people are resigned by their powerlessness to operate within.
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Knowing herself with these types of men allows a woman to vicariously participate in that
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Still not convinced?
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Well, here's another reason why bad boys are perpetually attractive to women, especially
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especially if they signal aggressiveness.
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Again, this is counterintuitive.
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Why are women so much more concerned with their safety than men are?
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Because they navigate a world in which the vast majority of men are physically stronger
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If push came to shove, it would be very difficult for the average woman to defend herself from
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even an average man's physical aggression.
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Don't let the movies fool you.
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Women are aware of this on some level, which is why they say what their mouths that they
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are looking for a man who makes me feel safe.
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She doesn't feel safe most of the time.
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So why do so many of these women then align themselves with aggressive, if not brutal
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Because doing so dramatically decreases the number of potential threats to her.
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Most men are, at least potentially, a physical threat to most women.
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And most men are not going to fuck with the most aggressive and brutal subset of men.
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Therefore, if a woman can succeed in aligning herself with the most threatening man, who
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no other man is going to threaten, then she has succeeded in reducing her number of potential
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threats from most men to one man.
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In such a case, all she has to do is stay safe from all men is to neutralize one of them,
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which she can do using her feminine wiles.
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Of course, a lot of these aggressive, brutal men, shock, end up applying that aggression
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to the woman in question.
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So it's certainly not a risk-free strategy.
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But that's kind of the underlying, unconscious, evolutionarily grounded thought process around
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why women seek out dangerous men.
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And don't think that this is some kind of rare phenomenon.
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The average guy gets like zero attention from women, zero, zero, yet there are literally
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murderers on death row for whom women are lining up for a conjugal visit.
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Now you might say that these are broken women or unhealthy women or insert negative adjective
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women, but let me assure you, they are not all unattractive women.
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Too many female true crime podcast fans for that.
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So let that sink in.
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In any case, those are some of the reasons why women are always going to be attracted
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Aligning with bad boys significantly reduces the number of perceived threats associated
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with other men and allows women to vicariously enter into a kind of social freedom that they
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are too timid and afraid to procure for themselves.
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Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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Does this fit with your own experience?
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Let me know in the comments below.
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And please, send this episode to someone who you think might benefit from its message.
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I'm thinking a guy who believes most of the things that come out of a woman's mouth
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It's worth of mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow.
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A lot of value to be had there.
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As always, I appreciate your support.
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And thank you for listening.