From Conflict To Connection

And the title of this many podcasts is From Conflict to Connection.

One of the phrases I used in my seminars and in my book Interruption is this, no creativity

comes from a reaction, only predictability.

Now, don't take my word for it, test it.

Do you know someone whose reaction you can predict every single time?

If you're married, you don't even have to think about it.

You know this fact intimately.

You say X, and like clockwork, they say Y every time.

And here's the kicker.

You know this about them, and they know it about you.

It's automatic, conditioned, a reflex reaction to a familiar stimulus.

It happens instantly, without thought, unless, and this is the turning point, you catch it,

unless you notice your reaction before you robotically deliver it.

In that moment you see something almost comical.

Your hand puppet is about to react to their hand puppet.

And you're not even on the stage.

You've defaulted to one well-worn groove.

It feels like the only possible way to respond.

Even though you know intellectually, it's tired, predictable, not working.

That's when you need a creative intervention.

That's when response comes in to save the day.

When you feel that predictable reaction, rising up, throwing the clutch, interrupt what

you're about to say, just pause.

That interruption becomes a wedge between stimulus and reaction.

And in the space you create, something new can arise, a response.

Victor Frankl said it beautifully.

Between stimulus and response, there is the space.

In that space is our power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

In that space that's the gold.

And if we're being honest, don't we all want to be the stimulus, not the predictable

reaction?

It can happen, but only when you choose a response instead.

When you pause long enough for something fresh to arise, you'll surprise yourself.

You won't go down the same stale trail.

And here's the bonus.

When you interrupt your predictable behavior, you throw in a monkey wrench into that exchange.

The other person feels it.

They notice something new is coming from you, and they respond differently.

Just like that, you've opened a new chapter in the conversation, freshness enters.

And instead of predictability, engaging your wrath, you find yourself on a different path.

Does it take practice?

Absolutely.

Reacting is easy, responding takes awareness.

But if you want to run on a new track, this is how you'll lay it.

Pause, create space, choose, all the best.

John.