Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body: The Missing Piece of Healing

Hello, my loves. Welcome back to another episode of the upgrade edit. This one is a

special little bonus app. It's actually a interview that I was a guest for on my

beautiful friend Hillary's podcast designed as you. But as I was listening back

to this episode, even though I was the guest and this is my story, I was like,

oh, I really needed to hear this today. Oh, that really hit home. So I wanted to share this on

my platform for my beautiful community because there are a few really potent golden nuggets in

there, especially for anyone who is kind of new to this space, new to the self-development world,

new to kind of getting to know themselves on a deeper level and really starting their self-love

journey and coming back home to themselves. This is a very, very beautiful episode and it explains

my journey, how I started working with energy, how that has transformed my life and how I live my

life now with so much more intention and how I'm so much more grounded in the body and why

embodiment is so important to me as well. So I hope you love it. This was also one of the first times

Hillary and I had met which seems wild because truly now she is just one of my closest people like

I don't know what I ever did without a Hillary in my life. So it just goes to show as well. When you

are on your journey, the people that you attract into your life can be so, so important to your

evolution and your expansion and even though this healing journey can feel quite isolating at times,

I think that's one of the biggest things that my clients say to me. It's like they don't feel like

they resonate with the people in their lives or you know the tables that they're sitting at.

It can be really hard going through this journey because you can feel like you're going through

it alone, but I promise you the people that you start to attract the people that become

your inner circle on this journey and can be some of the most important people in your life

because they are meeting you at your core, you know, they are meeting you as you are meeting you.

So yeah, just a beautiful little reminder that the more you work on you, the more aligned

your friendships, relationships and the opportunities you will have in your life. So yeah,

I hope you enjoy. This was such a fun episode and thank you again so much for listening. If you

love this episode, please share it with your friends. Please leave me a review. It helps people

find the pod and the more ears that I can slide on into the more people that we can help and inspire

and motivate to come back home to themselves and that is what we want. I hope you enjoy.

Welcome, beautiful Divina. It's such an honor to have you here. I feel like Ask Connecting has been

a long time coming in the sense of I just feel like our souls are destined to connect in this way.

Absolutely, of course. Of course. It doesn't even surprise me anymore. No, it doesn't.

So many people were telling me you need to meet Divina, you'll love Divina and it was just,

it always started to get a bit ridiculous. I was like, okay, I'm reaching out to her and I'm so

grateful that we have connected and we've actually just spent the last hour having an interview on

your podcast. So I'll put the link below and definitely check your podcast, your work out. So thank

you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being you. Oh, thank you for being you. I've just,

like, obviously, I've just swearing over you for the last hour on my podcast, but truly, like,

I knew there was something in me today that I knew it was just going to be a great day.

And your energy is, it's just, when you know, you know, you know, it's, when you know, you know,

and you are just a big expander for me, which I never knew I needed. I never knew I needed a

Hillary in my life. And now I know. So thank you. Thank you for, yeah, listening to everyone

telling you that you need to meet me because I've been hearing the same things as well. So finally,

we've made it happen. I'm so happy. And here's that interesting, that soul resonance, that

energetic resonance where again, we can't explain it. You can't explain why you feel so connected

to a certain person or a thing. And it's just that trust and allowing. So I did want to start because

you are an incredible energy worker. You are a healer. And I would love to speak about the power of

understanding our energy, frequency, understanding how we operate because a lot of us are walking

around like a floating head. So much just living from the mind. So yeah, can you please speak a bit

about your work? Yeah. Well, I think honestly, I was a floating head for a very long time.

Yeah, just kind of on autopilot and going through live, taking the boxes until I got to my point

of everything just changing, you know, life turning itself upside down and me really just being like

left with me. And there was a period of time where like it was almost unbearable to sit with

myself because there was just like lots that was coming up and out and like absolutely I was

outsourcing different people and different modalities and things to help me with myself. But

there was just, you know, one point in time where waking up just felt like as soon as I woke up,

I had anxiety, you know, it was just fucked. But like not even my coffee would make it worse.

Like everything was just, it felt really all consuming. And I remember there was this one day

where I sat on my bed and I'm like the only way through this is like literally through it. Like

I have to sit in this and go through it. And I just remember it was like my throat felt like it

was closing up. And usually when us as humans, like when we have these bodily reactions or what we

call anxiety or fear or whatever it is, jealous or all of these interesting things that pop up in

the body. It's so easy for us to distract ourselves away from it, whether it be through food or

through drinking or through sex or whatever. But this one day, I was like, you know, what I'm

actually just going to sit in it. And I think it was the first time I had ever really just gone

into my body and actually felt what that, it felt like hands around my throat and just really

noticing where I felt that and what it felt like and where it started and where it ended. And

then the more time I spent in there, like it was interesting, I could see colors or I could

notice it looking like a rope. You know, it's funny what shows up when you actually are curious

about what's going on in the body and how the mind or how you perceive what it is. So I just took

my time kind of sitting in it. And before I knew it, my hands started moving and like I started

moving. And then it was almost like I was pushing it up and out. And as soon as I got to this one

point, it was like the floodgates opened and I just cried. Like this really intense, almost primal

cry. And it felt like it came from the depths of my being. And then after I felt fine. And I was

like, what the what was that? And I actually had to journal because I was like, I don't know what

just happened then. But I think I just worked with my, I think I was just doing something with my

energy. And then I spoke to my shamanic healer and she had always told me every time I went and

saw her because I would do like big journeys with her like six plus hours. And she would always say

to me, like you have gifts, like you are very powerful. You're very powerful. She's, you know,

you've been here. You've done this a million times. You've been doing this for years.

And I just never quite understood that. I was like, what do you mean? I'm broken.

Why could you possibly mean that? And then yeah, from there, she wasn't surprised at all. And

from there, I just started wanting to learn more about energy. So when rolling myself in like

raky courses and just listening to more podcasts and reading more books and just so many different,

like Abraham Hicks and like all those sorts of different things starting to find my weight.

Like I've always been quite spiritual, but this was like another level. It's energetics and

spirituality and quantum physics and that whole mind body connection, mind body, you know, world

connection. And yeah, from there, it just kind of, it just snowballed and has never stopped since.

And I'm still learning every single day, but yeah. And that's it. I just want to reflect back to

you, especially as a two four projector in the sense of I always feel that too. You have so much

wisdom within you. And it's like you move through life and it just awakens what's already within

you. Yeah, it's like a memory. Yeah. And so all the twos in my life are in my work. It's like

even if they come and learn human design, I'm like, yes, come learn because it's a new language,

but then almost forget everything because you already know it and it just awakened something

within you. And so we're wondering what you were just sharing with me. It's like your body

intuitively knows. And we do these things and it's like, why are we doing this? But then as you

said, it's like when you actually go through it and that's so brave, that's so brave, honestly.

And then you're like, okay, it just actually pasted. Yeah. We just passed and from there, it's like a

new energy of freedom within your body. And so I just want to remind people, yeah, can you speak

about the emotion in the body? And especially I think for women with that throat, not speaking

the truth. And what was also coming up was you were speaking like, this is generational.

That's not just your stuff. Totally. It's like our energetic things that we're moving and you get

the gift of being able to heal it. Or if you get the awareness around it, our generations

didn't have the awareness around it. Like what an opportunity, what a gift that you get to not

only heal for yourself, you heal down the generations and up the generations. So yeah, and without

me having to like point my parents into these certain directions, like with me doing my own

healing and realizing my own things over the years, it's healing them and they're seeing it

and they're understanding it a bit better and they're becoming more aware themselves. So it's

yeah, it's a gift that keeps giving when you invest the time and energy into yourself. Like it

really pours and leaks into your community and the ones that you love around you. Even the way

we share on social media, like just me sharing helps heal people just from what they can take out of

whatever it is I need, you know, whatever it is I'm saying in that moment. So it's beautiful.

It's been really beautiful. But I think one of the biggest ones, like yes, absolutely working with

energy has been like the biggest profound shift. But I think something that was almost more

empowering and more liberating than the understanding of, oh, whoa, I can be in control of, well, not

in control, but I can manage and I can process and I can regulate myself. But I started,

especially with being single, like I was celibate for a really long time. And then I was really

worried about how I was ever going to be intimate with another person because I didn't know

myself on that level. Yes, I was getting better at regulation. Yes, I was understanding energy

better. Yes, I could start working with energy seeing and energy and all that kind of stuff. But

there was also this really deep wounding for me when it came to really truly allowing myself to

be my biggest, most expressed self. And just randomly one day, I was like, I'm going to,

this is really taking a turn. This conversation. But this is one of the biggest pivotal moments in my

journey. And I decided I was going to buy a crystal wand because like when it came to like self

love and self pleasure and stuff, it was very like, you know, basic sort of level. Very physical,

I was like, there's something there for me and I'm actually like, I had to get myself to a

space where I had created enough safety within myself. So I could even go to that step, right? But

for me to be able to go to the next step with another person or let anyone else see me, I actually

had to walk through this myself first, which is something that I think women don't get the chance

to do as they grow. It's always like, they don't really get to meet themselves at their depths

in their full vulnerability at their core and have a good hard look at themselves and love

themselves in a really big way. Because we've been conditioned to not, you know, we're not good

enough. We need to change our things that we're not pretty enough, all the things. So yeah, I think

de-armoring and working with my room space energetically and like actually taking the time and

the slowness and having compassion and having the courage to work with my room space in that way as

well, that is what changed everything for me, changed everything and my connection to self and my

connection to my energy and my connection to my world around me, it changed everything.

Well, your room is like a world. It's the birthplace. It's the most powerful creation. It's our portal.

It's our portal and I had the exact same experience when it was like, I just felt numb there. It was

just like numb neck down basically, but especially in my room space and that connection meant

that's your wisdom. That's your creative energy. That's your life force. That's your divinity and

your love. So I think, yeah, a lot of women we can even be afraid of that power. We can be afraid

because it's easier to live in our world if you're disconnected from your knowing, if you're

disconnected to your truth because life does not support a woman in her power if you're not allowing

that. What I'm trying to say is like a woman connected with her woman in her truth is a force

and she's not controllable. She's not conditionable and when you can let that be safe because then the

stories come up of, but will I be loved then? Will I ever find a man then? Will I be in relationship

then? It's no. That will actually be the aligned relationships with me. They're the type of

relationships I actually want to be in and the type of luck that I actually want to be in. And

you start to see your whole life reconfigure around you to now align with the true you rather than

the afraid version of you. I used to reconfigure myself to work for the world, always, always.

And it does. It takes time. You're not just going to have one magical room healing session or

pleasure session and be like, I'm changed. I did. I was changed after the first option. Absolutely,

but it takes work and that is the work. It's coming back to yourself. How much more can you hold

yourself? How much more can you love yourself? How much more can you soften into yourself? How much

space can you give yourself to feel all the things? Not just the beautiful, blissful, amazing alignment

things about the heart, wrenching, guilt, pain, disappointment, grief, all those things because

there was a lot of grief that came up for me as well because I looked back at these older versions

of myself and I was like, I'm so sorry. I felt so sad for myself. And I just was like, wow,

like you really, you never saw it. Hey, like you never saw how special you were.

So yeah, I think it's, I'm at this point now where I am so in love with my life and look,

my life's not like I'm not a billionaire. Like it's my life is just, it's just my life. But I wake

up and I have so much gratitude and I can really sit in the pleasure of these really small moments

that to old me, I probably would not have even noticed because my inner dialogue was so busy

telling me about how wrong I was or how fat I was or how I should be doing more. So it's I think,

you know, that connection to yourself and the remembering of like, no, you were exactly where you

need to be. And you don't need more. You actually need less. And it's like the slower you go, the faster

you get there because I just, I was always, what's next? What's next? What do I need to do? Where do I

need to be? How much more money do I need to be making? Who's the next guy that's going to love

me or give me validation? And then yeah, you strip it all back and you're left with you and it's

why are you happy there, though? If you're not happy there, nothing else is ever going to be

suffice. Oh, gosh, I just had, we both got teary there for a second. I saw both of us thinking

about past selves because it is. It's like, I just want to remind you, this is such, I'm so glad

you're sharing this. Like how you just said this, it's like, this is self love. This is real self

love of like sitting in your emotions, sitting in the grief, sitting in the stories and actually

just reminded me as well, like we were speaking about Pilates earlier. And I remember I used to

just go and annihilate myself in like these like hit classes and all the things and it was all

coming from a not enough place and like something to fix. And now when I exercise, it's like from

so much love and at the end, I'll like even when I've worked really hard to just thank my body and

be like, thank you. You are so strong. I love you so much. And I remember it before I would like

as I'm leaving an exercise class, I'd be looking at the one part of my body, it didn't like,

I can be like, and it just amplifies it more and more. I was a PT for 10 years. Yeah, wow.

And it was like, I knew I wanted to be of service for people, but I didn't realize why PT wasn't

the right thing. It's because everyone that was coming in, it's like they weren't working out

because they love themselves. They're working out because I hated them so. Exactly. And like,

it's such a beautiful shift to see now what's happening with women. It's no, they actually want to

invest in themselves because they have compassion for themselves and they want to, they want to love

themselves a little harder. And yeah, like back in the day, it was just such a very like,

FITSBO must, there was just not enough awareness, I think, especially for our age. I know.

It was, it was a rough time growing up at, you know, and just, yeah, like at the beginning of

social media and all that stuff. And I think also to being in social media, my whole career has

always been on social media. So there was just that added extra layer of, who do you need me to be?

Yeah. And I think like life will give us the opportunity, almost like the amount of how important it

is for you is like how much the challenge will make for you. So like your soul chose to have such

a big experience around this of like true self love, self respect, like creating that love within.

So of course, you know, you have a big social media. And of course, you get thrown into this world.

Of course, you end up becoming a PT. Of course, these things, because it's the cable,

like who can you be in this? Yeah, you could have done it in different ways, but it's like it really

became a high stakes game. And then you're able to share in a big way. Totally. Yeah, I think there's

a lot of people that are like, Oh, do you regret this or do you regret that? Do you regret the TV

stuff? All of those things. And I'm like, you know, what? No, because I like, I had to walk the

walk. Like I really had to go through that in order to be able to drag myself out of it

to then be able to help others. Absolutely. So it was my biggest privilege, the life that I've lived

because it's okay, I understand it because I've been there. Yeah, it's this idea of your pain

becomes your purpose. And it's often it's always, even as you're just sharing, of course,

you're helping women now with energy work and with connection to their wounds and connection to

themselves. And which is so for like you, you'd never think that even four years ago, if you

were to be like to be now, you're going to be an energetic. And run retreats and help women

connect back to like their sacral center and like their worm space. I'd be like, what the actual

factors that even mean that is a beautiful word salad, but what does that mean? So like we were

talking just briefly before, I don't know what the future looks like for me or for this work.

All I know is that I'm just going to keep following it. It develops every every day with every

new person with every minute that I spend on myself, with every experience I throw myself into,

it is changing constantly. But as are we? And it's just, I don't think we're ever going to fully

know the extent of our divinity. I don't think we're ever going to fully know the our true

potential power like as humans and these beings. But what a fun ride that we actually want to

start exploring. And it's so fun. Like the women that are coming into my world now, they're

interested. They're like, I want to know about my energy. Isn't it so funny that we've been ourselves

for this many years, like 30 something years, but we're like, actually, I kind of want to get to

know myself now after 30 years. How beautiful. And so important, especially as women, exactly

as you said, it's like my circundition to be like, who do I need to be for you? What mask do I need

to wear? Exactly. And like how can I contort myself? And I think I remember like, you'd be on a

date or something. And it's like, I will be your best date. You've ever had in your life. Like,

what do I need to do for you to love me? Like it is so subconscious. Yeah. And you mentioned this

and I really want to dive deep because I had a really similar experience of this self forgiveness

journey. I remember being in a ceremony and moments in my life of every single time I basically gave

away my power and to the smallest things of like wanting to be validated externally. And it was

at one point, it like took me through me walking through a nightclub being like, who's looking at

me just like so much ego, but so much just like insecurity it actually is. And it took me

through all these moments and being like, okay, see this. And that's not you, but so much forgiveness

to that self that felt like she couldn't say no or felt like she had to be something she's not.

And yeah, can you please speak about how important it is to truly see and forgive that parts of

us? Because I think a lot of people can hold a lot of shame. Yeah. I think one of the easiest ways

that I came to terms with having more compassion for myself is kind of like looking at myself as

three different people. So it's like there's the little girl me. And then there's like the current

me. And then there's like future me, like highest self me. And there's so many things that I could

look back at and be like, God, but then I also am like, well, I love her. Like I look at my younger

version as if she is my child, as if she is my daughter, Meela. And like, how could I possibly

hate her for things that she didn't know any better? Like she was just learning. So

there was actually another thing that I always prescribe this to my clients, but there's a

beautiful prayer, the Hoppa Pono Pono prayer. Yeah. This is exactly I, they were like,

just a person. I did this exact, in a word, and then I did that prayer. Yeah. And that prayer

was like my mantra. I was hysterically crying, saying that prayer over and over being like, I'm sorry.

Thank you. I love you. Yeah. So it's what is it? It's I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I

love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And anytime because there was a lot

of guilt and a lot of shame and a lot of embarrassment when I came out of my marriage, that prayer got

me through so much because it was like, I actually couldn't be alone with my thoughts because I

would spiral hard. And it's just the same thought that we don't have 99 problems. We have one

where we think about it 99 times per minute. So if we can not saying distract, but if we can replace

it with something that's a little bit more empowering like like that prayer, that actually really

healed me in a big way and saying, I'm sorry, please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. It's just this

it was yeah. And also just allowing myself to feel like whether it be hand on the heart space, hand

on my stomach, you know, that sick feeling in the solar plexus or sick feeling in the heart,

where you're just like, oh, this is just actual hell. Just sitting in it and crying with it,

put some Adele on, put some side music on and allow yourself to feel and be messy. I actually have

that I'm so close to posting. I've only just started getting a bit provocative with my

somatic stuff because no one has really seized the extent of what my rituals are at home and how

I move through my emotion because it's like, it's a lot. And I think the more permission you give

yourself to be able to sit into move and to cry and be messy like swamp in your grief and your

anger or whatever it is, the easier it is for you to be able to move through it. And when these

things come up, yes, we're always going to be triggered. We're always going to have this pop-up

or anger or sadness or grief or guilt or shame pop up, but it's okay. Cool. Let's move through it.

And then we can move out of our process, processes, energy and moves through you. Exactly. And I

just the other day, you know what? I'm going to send it through. I'm going to upload it. I'll upload it

today. Because this is the whole thing, even just what we're speaking about, the controllable

and conditionable, like by you showing and by you, like brushing up to the limiting thoughts and

being like, no, we're moving passes. That's the ultimate. That's the expander. Exactly. And it

was so funny because at the beginning, I was like, I think I was just moving too. It was like

Billie Eilish ocean eyes because I knew I had something. There was like something that was just

bubbling. And I didn't feel like working out. I didn't feel like going for a walk. Like,

usually you'd go exercise or something, but I'm like, I don't even really feel like doing

somatic stuff, but I know that I probably should. And it just started, honestly, me like,

on the ground moving. And then it started like maybe moving my arms a little bit more in my head,

a little bit more in my hips a little bit more. And then before I know it, I'm starting to

yawn, which is like a really beautiful process. So, you know, when people start actively moving

their energy, you can start to do things like yawn or maybe tears will start coming down or

burping is really normal as well. But I was like, oh, okay. And then I started feeling good,

like some nice pleasurable feelings were coming through. And I was like, that's great. Before I

knew it, it was actually one of my favorite songs. It's like a Tash Saltana song. And I was like,

oh, I love this song. Absolute mess. Absolute mess. Puddle of tears on the floor. Wailing. No idea

what it was. By the way, that's the thing. We don't always have to make sense of like why

these things are popping up or make meaning of it. It's just like how can we be like a compassionate

witness to what is showing up without having to judge ourselves for it or without having to make

it mean something? Can we just hold ourselves and then move? And so I was just like, and then let

it go. And then I was laying on the ground. It's almost like that post sex feeling where you lay

and you're like, yeah, it's energy was that. And then I was like, okay, we're upstairs. And like

was the best mom ever for my daughter. And like, and that was like, I think it was like 14 minutes.

That is the thing. And so we're so afraid to like, people can be so afraid that if you start to

feel it, you're going to be in it forever. I get it. It's scary because it's uncomfortable. But

especially for people who've been suppressing. Exactly. I used to suppress so much. I used to

wear it as a badge of honor of being non-emotional. My sister, I would see that she was way more

healthy. And at the time, I thought it was erratic. But now weakness. And I thought, stop you're

creating chaos here. You know, I was the want to be the good girl. And now I looked at her being

like, no, you were just telling the truth and you were processing your emotions. Beautiful.

It's so interesting that you say this about the meaning. Like the meaning was what creates a

spiral rather than just see it as energy moving through you. And I'm exactly the same. I put on music.

I start shaking the tears come. And it happens before some of the biggest moments of my life,

especially. For example, before every retreat, I have a massive cry. Like massive pride, hysterical,

like I see it as an initiation. It's just energy moving and it can be a constriction before

some form of an expansion. And again, we were just talking about it. Like it doesn't have to make

sense. Why? And I think where we get stuck is where we try and make it make sense. And we're like,

is my whole life wrong now? Is this mean it's the wrong decision? No, it's energy moving through

your body. Yeah. Yeah. Let it. And you know, when you also take the story out of the emotion or

you take the story out of the process, it becomes easier for you to take the story out of life.

You know, the story out of like the things. So if you can start to like actively process and you can

look after yourself, help reset your nervous system when you start feeling dysregulated and whatnot,

you start to minimise the stories that you're telling yourself about the things that are happening

because it could be something so small and our stories can get bigger and smaller

and more like cycles, you know, like especially in luteal, you should hear my stories. So it's funny.

The more we can start processing, basically, that's all it is. It's just us being able to sit in

our energy and move energy through us and have compassion for ourselves and feel it is just us

processing, which means we don't store it, which means we have less trauma in the body stored in

the body, stored in the fascia. And there's less weighing us down, whether it's emotional, mental,

spiritual, on a soul level, all of these things impact us on a physiological level. And the more

that we can look after ourselves, like I call it spiritual hygiene, it's just look after yourself,

your emotional state, your mental state, just by processing whether it's journaling, whether

it's moving, whether it's just sitting on the grass and just being present for five minutes,

noticing the things around you, engaging your senses. What can you see? What can you taste? What can

you hear or smell? Just getting yourself into the present moment and being embodied in your body

and out of the mind. Yeah, it's like processing. It's just it's so important. It's so important.

And I think we have to be so clear when we roll our eyes at it or think it's not important.

That's actually like the way that we have been controlled. Yeah. Like we have to go, I remember

when in this like full thought process around this of even like the witch trials, even like the

feelings of women that were the medicine women being put down and they're crazy. All this idea

that you're crazy. If you have an emotion, you're crazy. That and you see out of this internalized

patriarchy, even in females or misogyny, does this mean I'm too much? Does this mean,

do can I trust this intuition? Any form of competition between women? And it's like when you

actually see that this is suppressing our energy and suppressing the feminine power. Any form

of limitation around that is like it's we're doing it for all women. Yeah, like yeah, yeah,

totally. And I think look, this is probably a projection, but for me, yeah, look, I'm just going

to say for me, I think the reason it took me so long to step into my full embodiment was because

I really didn't think that would be palatable. Yeah. For the type of man or the type of people.

You shouldn't be palatable for this current consciousness. Honestly, you should see the people in my

field now. Yeah, exactly. Like they, that top tier, look at you, like top tier humans, top tier

men, conscious kings, incredible, wealthy, conscious, fucking successful, embodied women.

No, one drug I found it so hard because I thought that if I changed, I would be rejected. But

in that, you know, the thing is the more you grow, there is going to be a period of isolation where,

you know, the people who aren't meant to be in your circle will start to fall apart and fall

away. And that's so fine. I think it's just trusting that anything that is for your evolution will

not be bad for you. It might feel uncomfortable for a moment and there might be a bit of fear,

but stepping into a version of yourself that feels peaceful, that feels more calm, that feels more

unshakable, unbreakable, who has bigger boundaries, but also in the softest version of yourself.

Anyone who is limiting you accessing those parts of yourself is not for you. And if you are worried

if you're listening and you're like, oh, I love the idea of this, but I could never, because it's

too big, then maybe start looking at the rooms that you're in. Yes. Start filling those rooms with

different people that expand, like I was saying, you're an expander. That start expanding your

idea of what could be possible for you in this life. And it's energy. It's like it's when you're

in these types of spaces and around these people, it brings out and it raises your frequency,

your energy. I even recently felt this where I was just having a low energy day. I went and

got a massage and I swear she just must have been, I know you'd be doing this, like just giving

so much love. And I walked out of there being like, I am a goddess. I love my body. I love myself.

And nothing had changed. It was her, I swear, and I even said to her at the end, I was like,

that was energetic wasn't it? And she just looked at me like nodding. Yes. She was like a Mexican

young girl. She would have only been 20. And I think it's important to trust how your body

feels around certain places, certain people. And exactly as you said, I had the period of so much

isolation that was in my Berlin, Stan, we spoke about it in our other podcast, where I think there

is some time where you're like coming back to your own energy and almost emptying out what

no longer aligns. And then moving forward and really checking, is this coming from an expansive

energy? Or am I still acting out of fear? Yeah. Because then it just multiplies. Again,

energetically, it just multiplies whatever you're bringing. It will continue to multiply. So if you're

judging, I remember that was a period where I realized where I was like judging other people

because I was judging myself. And when I stopped judging other people, then I no longer was always

well, when I stopped judging myself, then I didn't feel these projections of judgment elsewhere

because it's just it's you and you. It's like, yeah, yeah, totally. And I'm still learning,

like I'm still learning, I feel like you'd probably be the same, like with every week with every

month that goes on, like you are forever moving forward. You're in an upward motion, right? And

as you reach that new level every time, it's all wow, you're unlocking these new understandings.

And there's always going to be that conditioning where you're like, oh, it's just beautiful. Like

the biggest investment that you could ever make is on yourself in this lifetime truly. And even if

it does mean just like sitting with yourself and feeling your heart space or feeling that pain in

your tummy, you know, when something's triggered you and sitting through it because if you can handle

that and you can move through it with love and compassion, like you best believe your outer world's

going to start reflecting that kind of love and compassion and softness to you as well with the

people and the places and the opportunities and the experiences. So the more time I look at it as a

game now, it's like how much can I love myself? How great can I make my day? Even if it's the

shitdest day ever, I'm like, how can I make the most out of this? And you better believe that

the nicer I feel about my day or even the little things in my day, that takes up the little things

when I day take up like 99% of my day. So that's a fucking pleasurable life I'm living with full

of just little things because I choose that I'm choosing to sit in it or I'm choosing to process

the bad. Even the bad is beautiful feedback. I know what's triggering me. I know we're not to

go tomorrow. I know what not to do tomorrow. I know how to start making better aligned choices

because I know that choice made me feel terrible. Beautiful. Thank you for that feedback. Thank you.

The amount of times I say thank you out loud in my day, like just little things because a little

thing of my intuition or pop up and be like, oh, you shouldn't put that day, they should put it there.

I'd be like, thank you. You shouldn't put that there. Like you have to and that intuition gets

clear and clear out and I'm telling you like you will become so divinely guided that like you

will be unfucked with a ball with honestly. Like it's a superpower. It is and it's so

because I think when you realize that by your energy it's like creating your whole experience

around you and I love that you just said that because even this morning I went for a swim and

just say I was like, thank you Ocean. And that changes your energy around it. Totally.

And then you keep moving in that energy because I've just thanked the Ocean rather than being like,

okay, now I got to go get ready and I got to do a bottle of and then the whole world responds

differently to you in that because I think we have energy is not ever good or bad. It's either

high or low. And so when you are in that higher energy you attract more from that higher energy.

And like you attract people like, you know, like you and everyone around you because

it's like like a track like. Yeah. And so you mentioned this as well about attracting the people

that you have now in your life and you probably didn't expect those types of relationships or

people existed. And I think there is something to be said of you have to be the energy of what they

would want to connect to as well. And especially in dating especially in friendships where it's like

it always starts with you first. Yeah. And my perspective actually this is a cute story. Yeah.

My perspective on dating has been really interesting because one I haven't really been dating at all.

And I've only just kind of started. I've been exclusively dating myself. But I've just started

like kind of meeting a few new people over the last six months, whatever. There's been a few people

coming in and out of my life. And it's been really interesting understanding these different

personalities, but then also what they bring out in me because I've been in solitude. I'm like,

oh, so it's not even about the people anymore. It's about how I am and who I get to be with these

people, right? Which is amazing because I never had that option before because I was always like,

what do you need me to be so I can have you as my thing? So the other day, this is the first time

I've ever done this. I was walking back from Pilates. And I was just in such a high vibe because I

chose to go to Pilates that day. It was like the day before that time of the month, which I would

not usually do. Honestly, I'm really changing at the moment. I'm like, what have I done all these

things? Can I have a girl boots today? Pilates yesterday? I don't know. Anyway, I was walking home

and instead of thinking, I think I always had this mindset about the one being like,

but when is he going to come? No, no, no, no, no. Mainly because this psychic I saw, like at the beginning

of the year said that I'd meet him in September. And I'm like, where the fuck is he then? But anyway,

I was walking. I don't like psychics. I know. I'm like, where is he? But anyway, I was walking. And

instead of just thinking any like my usual divana thoughts, which I am on top of, but they do

kind of slip. The lack of slips in there. I was like, I wonder if you're thinking of me right now.

I'm like, because I've been thinking of you so much. And I'm like, you, I'm like, I wonder where

in your life you're at right now. So it was this really interesting old soul conversation I was

having in my mind. Like, I'm talking to this man who I know 100% is in this life for me. And

it's just this beautiful waiting game as to when my person's going to come. And I'm like,

we've had so many lives together. Like I wonder what our last life was like because this life's

been so interesting. I can't wait to tell you about my life. I want to have done and who I've changed

into. So you're going to make me cry. And I've never had this thought before. And it was like,

yes, I know you're not here right now, but there is a part in me that recognizes the fact that

it is inevitably going to come to a point where you're here in front of me physically, but I know

you're here. And I've never had that knowing that I know you're here. The knowing that I used to have

was like, what if I end up alone? It was like fear. So now it was just such an interesting

in a dialogue. And I'm like, whoa, it was this like old soul that's talking through me right now

through my dialogue. It was really interesting. I actually didn't think it was that big of a deal

and I really started crying. No, it's so beautiful because I remember I had this

exact realization yet of the people that you're going to maybe love the most in your whole life.

You may not even know yet. How beautiful is that? Like there is someone walking around in this world

or someone that hasn't yet been born that could be the most important person in your life and

you haven't even met them yet. And like it's just so beautiful that knowing. And also I just truly

believe that if you're thinking of someone, they're thinking of you and absolutely

whoever is a lucky man, they would be thinking about like, where's my woman? Yeah. And this is where

you kind of you focus on your relationship to yourself and all the things that you're doing. And then

again, let it not make a logical sense how you end up meeting. Yeah. And it's always this funny

thing where you like look back and you're like, why did I ever worry? But it's just it's like

you know. Yeah. And I think as well with this, as you said, it's like loving the person that you are

with them. I think we sometimes think that yeah, it's just like you love that person. But it's

no like you love who you get to be with that person. It's because love is an internal experience.

Like no one can plop love in you. Yeah. It's like your love is in you. So you even loving yourself

as a mother and like who you get to be as a mother. And I feel like again, that like self autonomy

around that of yeah, it's all your journey here. Yeah. You never have to wait. You never have to

wait to be grateful. You never have to wait to feel fulfilled. You never have to wait to feel

loved. And then they're just more and more mirrors to reflect it back to you as they come in your

life. So that makes me so emotional that you're like that you felt that energy and just being like

because I absolutely he was thinking at the same time. I think I and you know, I realize now like

I absolutely had to go through this whole thing. Like there is no way that King would have been

a match with me five years ago. Like we're going to meet each other exactly where we're at.

And I just no wonder nothing else worked out too. You know, like that old version of me was not

in alignment. Like she would not even be in alignment with this friendship with this version

of demeanor. I wouldn't know her. So it all makes sense. Like the years of crying, the years of

processing, the years of going through the depths and you know, having that beautiful relationship

began with pleasure and receiving and being actually able to receive and feel worthy and feel

we have that self worth. It was all needed to happen because I know what's coming for me is going

to be so incredible. There's no way I want to sabotage that with my old outdated belief systems.

You know exactly exactly. And can you please speak a bit more about receiving and also investing in

yourself? We've spoke about it briefly, but I think yeah, it's so much guilt around that. And it's

yeah, what it gives you and how ripples on effect is so much more important than just thinking

that you're not worthy. It's a reflection of whether you feel worthy or not. Yeah, I think we've

been conditioned a lot that our worth is tied to how much we produce or how much we can do for others

or how selfless we can be. Especially when it comes to being a mother, there's a lot of martyrdom

in motherhood where it's like I am only worthy if I am the best mother or if I am the best wife.

So when it comes to women actually one investing in themselves, it's like where do I even start?

Like I don't know who I am outside of being those titles. And two, like it's hard. Yeah, I think

it's just hard for women to actually be able to receive. Like we're just very we're very good

at providing in so many different ways, like especially love. We provide so much love and nourishment

and we're so nurturing to those that we love around us, that when it comes to us actually being

able to receive it, it's almost like it's lazy. It's lazy of us to sit back and receive

and be. I need to have earned it to deserve it or something. 100%. Well, that was something that came

up in my ayahuasca journeys in the Amazon. It's like one of my ceremonies was like extremely

pleasurable. And I'm like the self-love queen, right? But from the minute it started, it was like

everything felt so good. It was like the edge of orgasm for six hours.

But it was so hard for me to sit in because I was like, but don't you want me to purge?

Don't you want me to work hard? Like do I need to unpack some trauma? Like surely it can't be this

honestly being like surely it can't be this good. Something bad's going to happen in any minute

now. And what she was showing me is wow. Like you say you want all of these things. You say you

want this beautiful, pleasurable life. You're teaching people how to live in their bliss and all

the stuff. But here I'm giving it to you on a silver plate. It can you handle it? And it was so

uncomfortable. I had to go through all of this conditioning and these beliefs and the stories

that I told myself for 30 something years of that I was only worthy. I could only receive if I was

giving in return. But it's no. There is so much to be grateful for and there's so much pleasure

in the world that you get to just have. But it's like we choose not to. We choose to struggle.

And that's actually quite hard for people to come face to face with. It's no one's putting this

on you. You do against you. No one's making you do this. You're choosing this. So to surrender

can be really hard for a woman. But yeah, I think being able to I think it becomes easier to be

able to receive and to sit in the pleasure when you are able to process the bad as well. Because

I think it's easy to suppress the bad and then only be able to access a portion of the pleasure.

You know, because when you're suppressing one side, you're also suppressing the good.

So the more that you can sit and feel the bad unfavorable emotions, the more you're able to

marinate and sit in the good emotions. And I always tell my clients, I'm like, yes, absolutely

journal, do all the things process, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But when something feels good,

even if it's like seeing a rainbow on your drive home, embody that sit in that feeling in your

chest, sit in that feeling in your stomach. And that's also when I'm talking about like the processes

where I'm like on the floor or singing, dancing or whatever, yes, there might be like things that

are popping up that feel quite like heavy. But if things are feeling good, like sometimes it's

Gadsmeck and you just have so much beautiful like energy, like life force, that's it running

through you on a cellular level that sometimes it can feel unbearable. But it's like how much can

you sit in this? Because the more you can get used to these beautiful feelings and the more you can

get used to processing the unfavorable feelings and emotions, the better like your quality of life

and how big and how fully expressed you get to be in this life. It's just yeah.

Like drop. Wow, yes. I think we live in such a world that's so numb. And so it's actually

uncomfortable to even feel joy. It's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable to feel pleasure. It's

uncomfortable to feel sadness all of it. Yeah. Most of us are so used to feeling the other side

of things that when it actually comes to receiving and feeling the pleasure and feeling.

Like rushing out of it. Yeah. It's like waiting for what's to go wrong. Exactly. Yeah.

Actually, I recently was thinking about this time when I was young where it was like a beautiful day.

I remember I had like chocolate cake and ice cream and like I was like, it's the best day of a month.

And then she decided it was a time that she was going to tell me something that I found quite

hard to receive. And I remember in that moment being like, okay, don't be too happy because then

you'll get bad news. And like, I feel like it's really powerful even to just reflect because

things happen in our lives and we create big stories around it. And so then I'm like, okay,

we'll don't be happy because then bad news will come. And it's nuanced. We're complicated little

beings. And then we make it more complicated for ourselves. We make things harder than they need to

be, especially as you said. And I just believe that when you become consciously aware of something

this way awareness is so powerful. It's oh, I just became aware of this little very niche story of

don't be too happy because then something bad will happen. And you hear it a lot. I think it's

just a very typical anxious thought of everything will fall apart. Like it's almost too good. It's

all going to fall apart. And so then we create this negative energy around it. And so it's just like

being aware, as you said, of the story and being like, okay, I can sit and understand that this is

something that I'm I guess believing right now. But it's not my truth. And I can come back to

how would my higher self act. And I as a last question, I would love to speak to you because

you have just come in as a speaking of life force. You are a embodiment of life force when you came

out of your car. I stopped pause, squealed, took a photo of you, just your whole energy today. And

we haven't spoken about your cowgirl boots on this episode. We spoke about it at the last episode.

You and this mini dress and cowgirl boots radiating, absolutely radiating, honestly,

bringing the energy. Even I was like, oh, we're bringing it today. Speaking of like transmission

of energy, I just felt, oh, okay, do we bring it? I'm bringing it. And so yeah, can you speak about

acting as your truest, as your higher self and all the shifts that you've been able to make in

your life just from being her? Yeah, yeah. Like I was saying to you off air, honestly, I don't

really recognize myself like week to week. I'm feeling and looking different. And I'm not saying

that this happened overnight. Like this has taken a lot of time and effort, but investment as well,

like investment in myself. And I've chosen to tell myself the story that I like, I am worth it.

I am worth it. I'm changing the script and I have put the time and the effort into just coming back

home to myself and the remembering of who in fact you do get to deserve this. So I'm starting to

really see the fruits of my labor where I'm showing up in such a different way. And I'm feeling

really different. And my outer world is looking different. It's all different. And I have to tell you

one of my favorite things to do. I just randomly will go online and buy like packets of seeds,

like different flowers, their seeds. And I'll just sprinkle them around the garden every now and then.

And then in like six to 12 weeks, they all start blooming. And at the moment, I did this with roses

a while ago to these were like probably a few months ago. And at the moment, I've got like this

rose bush that popped up, but it has all these buds. It's got like 20 buds on it. And I was just like,

okay, it's here. Oh, the blooming has begun. And I remember when I planted that rose bush, like

where I was out and what I was doing. And now I'm looking at it and they're starting to bloom.

I'm going to take a photo and send it to you. And it's just a beautiful reminder that it's never too late

to start. It's never too late to plant the seed, even if it's one small thing or two small things

daily that you can commit to that is helping you become her, helping you get closer to that vision of

her. Because before you know it, she'll be here. And you're not going to recognize yourself. And

you're going to be in fucking cow girl boots on a Thursday talking to your new best friend in

like some Gold Coast studio. So it's yeah, it's so worth it. And I think it's nice to hear those

stories because like guys, there was a period of my life where shit was going down big way, huge

way. And it could have been so all consuming. And I could have chosen to do less and retreat. But

it's no, I kept choosing me every single day and choosing me in the smallest ways of what will be

my most nourishing breakfast this morning. How can I nourish my body a bit more? How can I get a

little bit of sunlight today? How can I spend a little bit less time on my phone? How can I process

this like weird feeling in my tummy? How can I just be a little bit more grounded? How can I regulate

my nervous system? How can I drink more water? Like it's just yeah, that's the work. It's asking

yourself these questions over and over again and checking in with yourself because you're worth it.

Like coming off autopilot and understanding that the more that you pour into you, the more you're

going to be able to pour into the people around you. But from overflow, you won't actually ever have

to pour. It's just overflow. I force. Yeah. Oh, powerful to be your own fire. Thank you. And I

think that's just such a powerful reminder to finish on around, you know, the seeds you plant

right now, like they will bloom and they will bloom in ways that you can't expect or you can't

foresee or you can't plan out and just trusting that because and even have it as a practice where

you visit past versions of your self-flat. Yeah, it's forgiveness, love, compassion and embodying

the version of you that is your truth. Yeah. And is your fullest expression. And yeah, we all need

to buy some, yeah, we need to buy some cowgirl boots. Yeah, yeah, I honestly was like I'm going to

Brisbane after this to my mom and I was thinking I was like, where could I find some cowgirl boots

like J Street? Okay, great. Yeah. So how can people find you? Thank you so much. By the way,

I'm obsessed. How can people find you? Your retreats, your work, your energy healings, all the things.

All the things. So my business is called the upgrade. You can jump onto my website, the upgrade

by divina. All of the things are on there. But the best way to get me is on Instagram.

Yeah, girls always on there. Love it when people slide into my GM. So if you have any questions or

anything, you just want to chat, come my way. But yeah, thank you so much. I've had the best day.

Thank you. I was just thinking you were such an embodiment in how you teach and what you teach.

And it's been such an honor to just be in your energy this morning. Like you really, when I say it,

when you open that door, and I just saw you, I was like, this woman, you radiate and you have a very

high frequency and energy. I don't know. I was like, I'm not in that many spaces or around people

that often like you. So that is the most really divine compliment. And I'm going to really

receive that. Yes. You receive it. Yeah, because it means a lot because I feel the exact

about you. So and it's funny. Mirror mirror. What you see in me, I see in you. And yeah,

it's always meant to be. It's just always so nice when people, yeah, when you're doing what you're

meant to do in the world, like I fully see it in you. And like, even just watching how you've

moved and how you've spoken today, even like we're speaking with other people in the studio,

I'm like, oh, right, this woman's amazing. Like, you're fine. All the things. Like, it's so,

it just gives me so much happiness and hope for the world as well. When I say, when we're like,

you doing the work that you do, because people need to be in your spaces. Oh my god.

Seriously, I'm feeling so mutual. You're stuck with me now. I'm really leaving. So yes, I

really recommend you diving more into Davina's work and so Instagram. So I have a friend,

mutual friend, Maddie, who went on Davina's retreat, said it was absolutely life changing.

So I'm very excited. I'm definitely going to be there for the Amazon. Yeah, I'm stealing you.

You're coming to the Amazon. Yeah, you're going to be my guest. You're coming to the Amazon.

It's happening. Absolutely. I already knew. I already knew with the second I saw that you were there.

I was like, I'm going to go there with her. So very excited. Thank you so much. Thank you,

everyone for listening. I'll put all those links below. And yeah, I feel like just as a little

finishing reminder, like when you are connected with yourself and doing your work, all the things,

yeah, like the people you attract has been the biggest gift in my life. Sorry, I feel like

you're a little manifestation for me, big manifestation for me. So thank you.