The 2026 Upgrade: Celibacy Szn Is Over (But the Work Is Just Beginning)

Hello my loves welcome back to the upgrade edit wow it has been a while I have taken a nice little

holiday away from the pod honestly just away from life I really allowed myself to just relax over

the silly season and it was almost like two months of just not overdoing it which I love like I have

I think this is probably one of the first years where I've actively chosen rest and a prolonged

holiday so that was really nice but look I'm not gonna lie I am so happy to be back in your beautiful

earholes we have a lot to catch up on it has been wow it's been a while right I think

my last recording session in the studio for the upgrade edit last year was like oh October maybe

even September October so there's been a few months guys we have a lot to catch up on so I thought

I would just kind of roll on back in give you all a little bit of an update on my life what's

been going on what I have planned for 2026 I've learned a lot about myself over these last couple

of months and I am excited to share a little bit more about it because as you guys know I've been

like deep in my celibacy journey deep in myself development deep in prioritizing my own peace

and just yeah really pouring into myself after well I guess a lifetime of doing the

absolute opposite you know pouring into everyone else being quite critical being quite self-critical

so yeah it has just it's been really beautiful and I will honestly always cherish these honestly

I think was nearly three whole years of just purely pouring back into myself really being

intentional with my time and my energy and deep diving into self-development my own personal

development and also study just really following my bliss and being the best parent that I can be

but she's back she is officially having a hot girl summer celibacy is over and it has been

a ride and a half let me tell you look they say it's really easy to heal when you're in solitude

which is true you know look it is hard not having destruction and not having you know someone there

to love on and all that kind of stuff but to be honest getting back into the dating world actually

really showed me a lot about myself and was a very big mirror in many ways and I was like oh damn

I didn't think that that was still a thing but look here we are so it's actually been really fun

and weirdly this is the first time I've ever really like dated as a proper adult that has you know

a child and different value yeah different wants and needs and I guess like eyes wide open like

I'm very aware I can observe a lot better I can use my discernment a lot more and yeah it's

been fun so it's my celibacy journey came to an end last year and it ended in the most beautiful way

like it probably could not have been better I'm not going to go into the nitty-gritty details but

I was actually at a point where I was a little bit nervous because I had spent so long just

exclusively dating myself I'm like how is it going to be like how am I going to feel being able to

open myself up to someone else be internet with someone else especially um but I was so grateful

that it was a really beautiful experience and yeah I'm very grateful and um it took me a while to

really open myself up and allow myself to be seen again in the dating world because I did notice

that there was still you know a little bit of shame um that was popping up a little bit of guilt

here and there even though it you know it had been three years it you still have those feelings

right um but one day I was just sitting on the couch I think it was a Saturday and I just felt

really good I felt really good in my body I was in my feminine flow pretty sure I was probably

ovulating um and I just had this thought like to be in a you should download Bumble you know

why not who cares like I feel like you're at a place where this could actually be fun

and um it was probably the first time where I genuinely was like oh this is fun oh my god I get

to make a profile um and thought of it as something that is you know it gets to be exciting and not

something that I would I was dreading which I kind of had been you know coming back into the

dating world you're like oh god I have to go back out into the jungle again but no I actually felt

really good about it and that is the kind of place that you want to take action from right like

you don't want to take action from a place of where you're like oh I feel lonely tonight I think

I might need some validation or you know you want to take action from a place where you feel good

where it feels nice so I did and it's fun you know I was I was like this game is fabulous

it's like it left just right right it's it's very exciting and yeah it has been very interesting

you know meeting and connecting with new people and noticing who you become in the presence of

these people right so I don't even feel like I'm dating the person I feel like I'm observing

the person that I am when I'm with these people so I was it's been such interesting feedback

you know going out and having a coffee with someone and being like wow you sent my nervous system

into absolutely overdrive or yeah I felt really relaxed with you maybe you're boring and then

you're like why does that why do I associate a calm nervous system with boring why do I still

think that peaceful means boring so yes I am connecting with these people but honestly it's

more it's more about the connection with myself that I've been enjoying the most it's been so

eye-opening I have met someone who was a massive mirror to my insecurities my attachment style

all of those things and that brought up really interesting parts showy parts of me that I

thought I had worked on and then I had met someone who brought out you know this completely

different side to me that I actually had never even met before which I loved so yeah it's been

a really beautiful ride but also don't get me wrong it's fucking exhausting like that I think

there was probably a good month where I was like you know I'm happy to like make new connections

and meet new people obviously still being very you know using my discernment and not being

leaky with my energy like just because I've come out of celibacy celibacy doesn't mean that I am

you know going crazy I am very much someone who value a connection and emotional connection before

you know I'm just not a casual sex kind of girl look I'll just say it so yeah there's been lots

of talking and that's really about it because I do feel like my energy is my greatest my greatest

asset and especially for the work that I do I actually can't afford to be leaky with my energy

and yeah so it's also nice dating being able to have that sovereignty and being able to have that

level of self-respect because I don't think I ever dated before with that amount of self-respect

so that's being really nice as well but I am taking take a little bit of a break now you know

over the Christmas period there was a few conversations going on here and there but I've really

really come to realize also especially with like making new friends and new connections that

I am quite lucky I have a very peaceful life there's not much to complain about in my life

and I don't think I really sat in the gratitude of that enough I say this but I guess it really

just opened my eyes to the fact that I actually am completely whole and complete as I am you know

dating is fun don't get me wrong but I now totally understand that by me dating it's by it's me

being able to choose someone who gets to come in and compliment my life because my life already

is wonderful and being able to be choosy and picky with who is in and out of my life is actually

like such a beautiful gift and I don't think I ever really understood that before I think I was

always searching for someone to come in and make my life better or to come in and save me if that

makes sense so not only has it been fun doing the dating and all the things I've also created

all found this new appreciation and new gratitude for my life that I didn't have before

which sounds silly because I've always been quite grateful but I look at my life through a

completely different lens now yeah and with doing that it has really empowered me I feel really

liberated and really empowered knowing that I have the choice to be able to go and date but I also

am so happy exactly where I am and it just goes to show that you know those three years of

working on myself building my foundations working through my you know past issues my past traumas

my heartbreak healing parts of me that needed my love and attention was also worth it because

I am really really full right now and it makes me really happy and it's just a really beautiful

reminder maybe for anyone who's listening who feels like they're a little bit behind or feels

like they're lacking in a way right now gratitude is such a beautiful practice to bring you back

into inner peace and inner harmony so maybe even today at some point just sitting down

and rattling off all the things that you have in your life right now that you are grateful for

it could be the smallest thing you know it could be the fact that you have beautiful support

around you or you have a beautiful friend or you have really supportive husband or you know

your child is healthy anything and everything that makes you happy in your life at the moment

make sure you celebrate that as well because we really do tend to look at the things that we don't

have or the things that we are missing and then it just compounds and over time it makes you feel

like you're behind or that you don't have enough or you are not enough when an actual fact when

you take the time to be still and have a look around you and the fact that you have a roof over

your head and the fact that you do get to be you know making beautiful meals for your family at night

time or whatever just celebrating those little things that you may have been overlooking because

there is a lot to be grateful for and gratitude at the moment has been something that I have really

really been enjoying sitting in I saw a quote the other day too it said a woman is at her most

powerful when she stops chasing love and starts embodying it and I feel like that's really where

I'm at you know even when I first started opening myself up to dating I did find myself

starting to not perform but maybe finding myself trying to do more or be more or feel in a gap

but now after just kind of finding my feet again and realizing no like I get to be exactly who I am

and I get to be me and whoever is meant for me will meet me here I get to be the love that I wish

to call in and I do have that kind of peace and that kind of love in my life already I'm not living

without it so why would I need to be more or do more yeah so that's just a fun little insight

that I have found through my recent hot girl summer I get comes to 2026 this year I'm really excited

about this year again it's another beautiful year kind of dedicated to me my development my bliss

there's lots of study that's happening so I'm entering into my second year of study so this year

is all about somatic sex coaching which I cannot wait for I also am back in the amazon I have the

most incredible group of people coming with me from Australia to the amazon for my first

actual retreat with arcana spiritual center I'm so excited honestly since coming back from arcana

last year I have seen my life my nervous system everything change in such beautiful ways honestly

I don't think I could recognize myself if I was to look into being a two years ago compared to

divina now it has just been incredible so I'm pumped to be able to be going back there to be

introducing you know this sacred land these amazing people to my beautiful community we've got

another retreat in May the feminine frequency retreat in Byron which is going to be incredible

and there's a few more beautiful events here and there sprinkled throughout the year but a majority

of the year really is just my study so I'm completing my breathwork coaching certificate

certification in the coming weeks so that's going to be another really beautiful offer that I'm

able to offer it out to my clients and yeah it's just I feel grounded I feel driven I'm really ready

to call in more presence this year I feel like I finally found my feet I feel like I'm finally

living in a big way there's so many things that I'm doing now that I've never been able to do

before like I used to have very bad social anxiety but whereas now like I've found myself I've

joined back up to the gym after seven years of avoiding it there's just lots of things that I am

doing that I'm like wow I'm moving very very different and yes there has been healings and there's

been quantum leaps and all that kind of stuff in the last few years but like truly now I think I

have actually stepped into the version of me that I have always wanted renovating my house

um you know it's all it's all happening guys and I'm really feeling good but not to say that

look I don't I don't want you to think that my life is just easy and it's good and you know I

don't have bad days or anything like that like with being at this level of I guess peace

there are things that I have to move through constantly constantly and I'm noticing now more than

ever my processing is like my number one priority it cannot just like bypass my I can't just bypass

how I'm feeling anymore like I actually have to sit with and work with my energy constantly

which allows me to receive this life and in its fullest because yeah like I want to be able to

receive all of this and feel all of this but that also requires me to sit and feel anything

that needs to be processed as well and yeah constantly you know even the other day I was this is

actually a great example the other day I was on my way down the coast to have a beautiful afternoon

with my girlfriends and I had just come across this beautiful playlist that basically it was just

bangers all from the 90s and I was just having the time of my life in the car high vibing it was amazing

and then a like party bus kind of drove past me and it took me back to the fact that when on my 30th

birthday I had a surprise like engagement party as well and my ex had hired a party bus for everyone

to go to my surprise engagement party and it was like you know such a beautiful beautiful time

a beautiful moment in time but at that time I felt really sad as soon as I saw that party bus I felt

really sad and I just had this overwhelming feeling of guilt you know going back to those moments

and thinking like oh you know put it have been different all of those things start creeping in

and I just had this real sickening heartbreaking sadness and guilt that was kind of coming over me

and instead of distracting myself and just putting on another song and trying to be like no get

out of your head you're on a high vibe right now you need to just bypass this and like distract

yourself and get back into a good headspace I just honoured that emotion and I honoured the way

I was feeling in that moment I put my hand on my chest and I just took a couple of deep breaths

and I think I see you in talking out loud like I was just saying to myself I know like I know

that's painful I know better I just kept saying like you know this is perfect it's all perfect

everything is exactly the way that it's meant to be but it doesn't take away the fact that there

is still guilt and sadness there you know and I just allowed myself to feel it breath through it

move through it and then in like maybe a minute and a half I was okay to put on another banger

and scream my lungs out and I was I had completely moved through it and that's how quickly it can be

for you to be able to process an emotion that you are feeling that pops up instead of pushing it

away pushing it away pushing it away and then you get to the end of the week and you are just

full of all of these emotions that are bubbling out of the surface that are just ready to explode

your nervous system can't handle it yeah so I have gotten really good at understanding that

you can have both you can have the emotions that need to be felt and the grief and the pain

and the sadness and the anger and the rage but then you also get to have the bliss the pleasure

the happiness the joy the fun the laughter all those things but you have to make space for both of

them okay you have to be able to sit with go through and move through all of them and you will get

better and better at that the more time that you spend working with yourself working on your nervous

system understanding what tools make you feel more in your body and out of your head allow you to

move energy through you yeah and that's my job so my job is to be able to help people understand

that you know none of these emotions are bad we just are able to expand our capacity to be able

to hold these different emotions our window of tolerance starts getting bigger and bigger

and you become more and more resilient you bounce back even faster and you get to feel it all

because there's no point in living this beautiful life if you don't get to feel it all so I got

asked the other day what is my word for 20 26 and straight away what popped into my head was

passion last year my word was surrender and this word is passion and I think it is the most

perfect word especially for the year of the horse you know last year was like the shedding

your of the snake still releasing letting go surrendering not knowing exactly what's next but

just allowing yourself to be to finally guide it this year is passion fiery intense I know where

I'm going I know what I want I know where my feet are and I want to live passionately even if it is

you know the mundane morning routine of lunch boxes and you know making breakfast I make a point

every morning to put on my favorite music while I'm doing those things so I get to dance and sing

in the kitchen while I do it another cute little thing that I have been doing lately is showering

in the dark with just a candle on every single night and that is just like a beautiful little self

love thing that I've been doing for myself that I actually really enjoy it feels luxurious and I

look I can't explain it but I just fucking love it that's something that I've really been enjoying

so I've just been trying to bring a little bit more passion into my day in these small moments

and just bringing more passion and flair for life in general because yeah you know it's not always

going to feel good it's not always going to be smooth sailing and right now life feels really

fucking good so I don't want to not fully receive it I want to be as passionate and go after it as much

as I can because you never know what's next you know everyone is healthy and well right now things

are going good right now you know I'm not a fucking millionaire but I'm not I don't have to worry

about money right now there things are good but I also know that there are ebbs and flows of life

and nothing stays the same forever passion bringing my passion into this and just living as

loudly and as boldly as I can is is what I'm yeah striving for this year and this is maybe a nice

little question for you what is the first word that pops to your head when you think about what

your 2026 word is and while you're at it too while you're thinking about these little things I want

to also share something funny um my I'm constantly asking the universe for signs always asking the

universe for signs so one of the things that I asked to receive as a sign is a two can it's a

very niche sign you know some people see one one two two two or like a butterfly or what have I

but a two can is like it's my sign whenever I see one I'm like okay and I've been asking for it

a fair bit lately and you all you guys will not believe the amount of two cans I have been seeing

and even set like honestly even angel numbers the other day Miller and I went to movie world

and we literally saw every angel number from 111 to 999 on the drive that it's only like a 20 25 30

minute drive and we both were shook we could not believe it but I just love having this beautiful

connection with the universe or with spirit and allowing you know these beautiful little synchronicity

is to pop up to just allow these beautiful little moments of joy throughout the day and

beautiful moments of I feel like it's guidance it is what it is like whatever you believe it needs

to be then that's what it is but I feel like now more than ever I'm seeing these signs I'm seeing

the proof of my connection and it's just been so nice so while you're thinking of your 20 26 word

might be worth having a think about what your sign could be that you could ask for especially

if you might be feeling a little bit lost lately um it's always really nice to remember that you

are divinely guided and there is always that you're always supported whether you know what I'm not

or whether it feels like it or not but knowing well asking for a sign and receiving it in the

most interesting times or at the most synchronicity times when you're thinking a thought and then

you'll see it and you'll be like ah okay beautiful confirmation or you're wondering to do one

thing or the other thing and then you'll see the sign you'll be like ah okay wonderful thank you

the amount of times that I say thank you out loud through my day is insane because I am present

enough to notice the signs and before you know it you know with the intuition and with these beautiful

synchronicity or synchronicity sorry um you know little signs and signals from the universe

little nudges little bread crumbs yeah it really allows you to take a fair amount of the work out

of it the cognitive work I guess anyway thank you so much for tuning it back in um and listening

to my fun little life update we have got a big big year ahead of us some amazing amazing gas

some potent saucy and spicy topics but yeah more than anything this year is about collaboration

and connection so I'm so excited for the events the retreats all of the things it is just

it's looking really really exciting so thank you so much for listening please if you have any

questions or you just want to have a chat feel free to slide into the DMs I'm always down for a

chat if you're interested in my beautiful online or in-person energetic healings please check out

my website the upgrade by divina all of my retreat information is there as well plus you can

pop your email in your information um to the mailing list so whenever there is anything new

coming out in my world you will be the first to know about it but I am wishing you the most

beautiful day and um let me know if you see any two cans with love bye