Giggling about fashion week, think tanks, and per se

0:00I'm gonna say just got away from me. Hello my glitzy gigglers. It's fashion week. It's fashion. Let me get my shades on. It's fashion week. It's too much. Hand is going to be up at 8.30 am. I just opened my eyes. I do have to say the reason I'm so awake is woke up to Humble Bragg named drop voice message from Chelsea handler. Did not realize I was going to the USO but what? Hannah calls me in a tizzy. She's like, wait, I don't like remember how the text went. I somehow miscommunicated with Chelsea handler that we're going to the USO but she's like, I'll see you tomorrow, pick you up at 3. You know what we don't talk about enough on this pod? Did I miscommunicate with everyone? That you just like flex on us randomly?

1:02Well, I'm feeling a little insecure because you've been hanging out with Kendall Jenner all week so like I had a plug. I had to do a plug. I met her for two and a half minutes. Yeah but the way she looked at you I didn't like that. She loved you. She literally was like, oh, that's my girl. We didn't talk about it because she is Brunette. Yeah, she loved you. And it's like when you hang out with people you're hanging out with Blancs. It's kind of like when you have a hot boyfriend, like I want girls to look at him like he's hot. Like I want other girls to want to be friends with you but I just want them to know. Yeah. I put in the time and effort. Right. I knew who. Oh yeah, so somehow you guys, I'm going to the USO tonight with my mom. What are you wearing, doll? I didn't go to the USO. This is the first time in 10 years I haven't gone to the US open. 10 years. Yeah, I've gone every year for like 10 years. Oh my god, and you just learned the rules last year. You want to know what 10 years were?

2:02Wait, do you want to know something? And this happens at every sporting event in my life because then I sat down and I thought about it. And I'm like, why is it impossible for me to retain this information? Because you don't care. Every year, the Super Bowl comes or like some playoff games come that people are like big game. We're going, we're doing a party or we're going somewhere, get an outfit. And every year I relearn the rules of football. And I think I got this. This is easy. Not to defend you, but you have so many algorithms in your head for outfits. You're putting together for the event. By the time you get there, you're burnt. You have nothing left to get. I have to go to the Giants game on Sunday. I can't figure out what to wear. It's killing me. I'm doing all fashion week stuff. All I care about is this Giants outfit because it's stumping me. Wait, because it's nighttime. I don't know what the weather is. Like it's a nighttime game vibe is very different.

3:02And then it's like if the sun goes down and it drops to like 60, I'm going to be freezing. But if I'm there for a tailgate, I'll be sweating my balls off. I feel like ESPN, like here is about us. Like someone's like in the network meeting, they're like, okay, the numbers are good, but Gagley Squad, the number one sports podcast in the world is really good. Like we don't try to talk about sports. Do you think I can find a red track jacket anywhere to get shipped to me in less than two days? This is the problem with shopping. I can't go anywhere and get anything immediately. Track jackets are trending. They've been trending for six months. Why the fuck can't I find a red track jacket? Hmm. Interesting. I want a windbreaker. I want like I want something that I concurrl under that I can wear with a black capri. And then I can decide if I want to do a flat or a sandal, like a healed long sample. That was my vision for the outfit. Look. But now I'm like, I'm thinking everything. One in doubt.

4:02Windbreaker it out. That's what we said. That's what we said. That's what we said. Because the truth is, you're never too cold, you're never too hot. You can blow in it. You look like you're leaving it anytime, which is cool girl. I can wear a comfy tank under it. Oh, I love it. And then if you want to show a low-deckletage, you can, but then if you want to be stuck up, you can pull it up. You do a stud and a track jacket. And you can put a hair up if you want. You can also put a down. But she's rich, but she's not throwing it in your face. Yes. Well, that's why the YSL Windbreaker's so fucked up. A track jacket just says so much. And also you are the fastest kid in the fifth grade. So it just like is a great callback, fourth grade. And I owe it all to these one pair of Nike sneakers that I really, I feel like they never remade. The bottom of those sneakers are the best bottoms of my brand. I feel like the ones that had the way. They were bounce. A little bit, they were rippled all the way down. And the side was a pink Nike sign.

5:02But Hannah, it was metallic. It was like hard. It was like 3D. Like you could touch it. It was pink metallic. I'm just envisioning you winning the Olympics and going on stage and everyone's like, how did you do it? And I'm like, you're like, the pink metallic, Nike heel that I wore was so Iconic. I'm not kidding. I love them so much. I got them the next year in silver. I got them the next year before school. My mom would take me to get my sneaker for the year and it stumped me. I'm obsessed with you. Every year I was like, I can't do this again. I don't know. I would call one of my friends who was like sporty and I'd be like, what's in for sneakers. I should be like, what's in your world? What are the sporty, what are they doing? What are girls wearing? Did you have like different gym outfits each year? No, we wore gym uniforms. So the only thing I was in charge of were the sneakers. You would have hated our gym uniform at MS-51s. It was yellow and blue.

6:03I don't mind. There was no gay behind that. It was a big yellow shirt and not like cute butter yellow, like interfaced yellow and then blue. It was shorts. It wasn't go with my skin tone but let me just say. I loved him class. Yeah. No, okay. So every year I learned the rules of the US Open to Super Bowl and like horse betting. So my three then I learned. Wait, so now I'm worried as you guys know my dream is to be friends with Chelsea Handler. Like that was my dream. It's happened. But now it's like I have to deal with the consequences of my actions. If I'm with Chelsea, men semi finals, Tiafobun Shelton, I might get hammered. I think if there's ever a time for you specifically as Hannah Lucy Burner Scorpio. Wait, your birthday. No, we had your birthday. By the way, still haven't got my present.

7:04You want to know why because I look at your present every single day. And you want it. No, and I want to like mail it to you. Like that's my friend. I need to give it to her in person. I'm in a seer in person. Last night I was like, pages, birthday's coming up. I was like, December, October and I literally was like, we have to start googling. I was like, cool girl, present. Do you know once a year I text Grace? It could be any month of the year. And you went to birthday. And I go, one is Hannah's birthday again. Oh, well, yours on Google's wrong. Like I always know it's August. But every time I think I gaslight myself until like changing the day in my own head. Do you know, doesn't I have the same day? Like I'm August 12th, he's November 12th. And I don't know what that means, but I can make it up. Definitely means something. Right? For sure. Yeah. There's like all this different stuff. Like you can do like your life path number. Oh, yeah. And you can like add also 12 and 12 definitely means something. Well, that's the only math you do.

8:05You're like, if you add one plus two, it equals three. If you think I have been written down, 1999. I'm not sure. I'm just saying you're 1992. You're a creative leader. You're an adventure. Adventure discoverer. No, but they're accurate. You're a librarian. Okay. So what are you going to wear to the US Open now two days in a row? This is my thing. My dream is wearing some like really cool vintage preppy like tennis inspired. Like fucking sweatershit. I don't know. But I've been told by the people around me and my team. I have to be more subdued. I can't dress like a clown. Like they're like your 35 now. Like they want me to wear more black and like be common. And like that's what I wear every day. But like when I'm on the red carpet. Yeah, that's how you are though. I'm on drag race. Yeah, that's fun. When? Look. Not just sound like 87 years old.

9:07But like we're not always going to be on red carpets. Well. Look at Jane Fonda. I'm sorry. I feel like red carpets are for any age. Yeah, no, but I'm saying like there might not always be a time where you're like I want to go on this red carpenter. I want to throw a fit on this carpet. I think do it now. Do it now. How you want to do it? How fun. I do have to say because this is so less than it. It's up in the air and I know it stresses you out. But you. If where's the scenario I skip the carpet. If the outfits just like not out. Oh, yeah, you've done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're sick. They're actually like kind of murders here. Okay, but there's going to be pictures of Chelsea handler sitting. Hey, it's Hannah. Should we let her on? Wait, it's going to be so embarrassing when they go the Jumbo Tron is going to go to Chelsea handler. And I was going to be sitting next. Yeah, that's why you have to have at least a good outfit from the waist up. Wait, should I make out with her on the Jumbo Tron? Imagine that would be iconic.

10:07That would be a really good promo for a tennis movie. That would literally be Madonna Britney Spears in comedy. Like if you and Chelsea handler wrote a tennis movie together. A tennis lesbian commentator movie. And you started it. Tennis Lesbian sports broadcasters. And the way you did the first promo of the movie was at the US open on the Jumbo Tron and everyone painted. Like they thought it was real and then everyone was like, actually, it's a promo for a movie. We use this podcast. It's it's just brainstorming. It's an incubator. It's a literal. This is Silicon Valley for girls. Wait, not even speaking of, but it's actually been on my mind for like the past two days. I don't know why. Are we just never getting Taylor Swift's wedding pictures? Was that the gag? Hey, I'm having a thousand people. You'll never see it. Well, people were commenting. Apparently Travis said apparently he said like the show was great.

11:08Like he called it a show, which made people feel like that wasn't actually their wedding ceremony. It was more like a, but this is the thing. If you're going to have a big shebang, don't you want to publicize it? Well, I don't even care about the wedding per se. I love when you say per se. It tickles my fancy. And I think more companies should be named per se. I like every, because I should start with per se because it makes sense per se. It's like, it's like millennial L.A.L. You can end every sentence with per se. It's also kind of like a really cute girl's name. No, isn't it? Say it. Per se. Say it. Per se. P.S. So cute. Think about the themed birthday parties. P.S. She's like, they're all little writers. You think about their embroidery. So cute. You have to think about these things.

12:09What were we saying? Wait, I have an invention for our incubator. Okay. Okay. Actually, this is so page coded, but I have to remember to bring, I have this one pair of black capris that like fit me right that I might wear at the US Open. But I have to remember to pack it and I'm jumping on. Okay. I just have to remember to pack it. Okay. And that's the kind of thing that I know I'm going to forget. And I realize, like people will be like, hey Siri, remind me. That doesn't work for me. I don't talk to Siri. I've actually never spoken to Siri in my life. So interesting. So like, also, I don't know when I'm actually walking out the door. And like, if I put it in my notes, I don't click the notes. So it's like, I want an app on the phone that's like, put it. Calls you? No, I just want it like, sorry, that's low as. And happy birthday, low as. So cute. I want it to just like be popped up on your screen like permanently. Like when you have important things that you can't forget at any time.

13:11Wait, I have to go sign for a package or he's going to take it back. I'll be right back. Go, go, go. Fall feels like the perfect time for a reset. New routines, better habits, and a little more attention to the things you may have been putting off over the summer. If your hair could use a reset, let me tell you about NutriFull. NutriFull is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand and the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologist. And now the NutriFull Women's formula has been upgraded to its most advanced version yet. It's 100% vegan, biotin-free, and comes in a smaller capsule size to make your daily routine easier. In a clinical study, 100% of women felt an improvement in hair strength after three months, and experienced more scalp coverage after six months of taking NutriFull. It's so easy to add into your routine, and when you finally see results, it's so satisfying. I absolutely love using their shampoo as well, and adding NutriFull into your daily routine

14:11makes your life so much easier. Order online, no prescription needed, with automated deliveries and free shipping to keep you on track. Plus with NutriFull subscription, you can save up to 20% off and get added perks like a free headspace membership to support your hair health journey. Whether you're just starting your hair health journey or you've been taking NutriFull for years, this update means you can now get their most advanced support yet. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in three to six months. Right now, NutriFull is offering our listeners $10 off their first month subscription and free shipping when you visit NutriFull.com and enter promo code giggly. That's NutriFull.com, N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code giggly. What did you get? Marin had just shipped me a bunch of clothes, and I had to... I had to haul last in the door. Wait, your forehead looks really shiny. Thanks, I did a MediCube sleeping mask last night, and I also popped a pippin' doll.

15:15I feel like you already started Fashion Week, but like we have our first fashion shows together. Yep. How are you preparing for the fashion shows you're going to? Like tell the gigglers. The only preparation I'm doing is like picking out my outfits. Like I got invited. This is the first time I've ever gotten invited to like a Chanel anything, really? And I got invited to this dinner tonight, and so I'm like, I've never tried on more outfits. More Chanel. No, I don't even have any Chanel, so I'm like, I'm like, does this give Chanel, and then I'm like, is everyone going to be wearing Chanel? Is that like not cool? Should it be like one thing? It's just... Relatable issues. She's stupid problem of the day. But I'm so excited to go, so I don't even care what else I'm doing because that is my first thing this week. But I haven't really done any preparation skin-wise that's different from my usual routine.

16:20I was going to get a spray tan, but I like don't have it in me. And sometimes I'm... I can't do it. And I'm like tan-ish. It's just... I don't know, I can't. I know. I'm 35. I am going to LA at the end of the month, but... and I am thinking already thinking about the spray tan I'm going to get. Now you make me feel like I should have gotten a spray tan. And let's just point out to the gigglers, you've been sending me pics of red hair. Oh, okay. Well, you're... You're a demon. Yeah. You're an actual demon. You waited till the last second of the last podcast. Like every... I was like, amazing. Good... Good to see you. Love you, bye. And you go, wait, wait, one more thing. One more little tiny thing. She goes... Small thing that you'll think about for the next three days. You look like shit. And then hangs up. And I was like... Okay, my hope. I thought she was like into the vibe I was bringing to the function.

17:22So then I'm looking in the mirror like, this is all wrong. This whole type is all wrong. And then Des agreed with you. That's when you know we've plotted. And like, you know, I'm just kidding. Did he start it? Like he texted you like, can Hannah please change her hair? He... I'm no better than a man. I'm looking at pictures of girls all day. Like all I do is look at pictures of women. And I admire them. And I think like, what are cool things that I could take from my... From their life and put it into my life. And one of the things that brings me joy is looking at different red heads. Just red head. It's like me looking at white cats. Yes. It's... It's actually the exact equivalent. Yeah, when I look at ragdoll cats, I'm like, this is Paige's culture. Yeah, I'm like, my friend could do this. And I'm like, oh my god, she could rock this shade. I think I will go a deeper red. But I also had a moment where I was like, do I just fucking go back Bruno?

18:22But then the people around me said no. Really? Well, I was like, for casting because, you know, my casting for auditions, it hasn't been going well the last three months because of my acid or my... But you're dealing with something and I don't... And this is exactly what happens to women. When they can't change one thing, they want to try and change another. And it's not the thing we're changing. Wait, also this is so stupid, but when you change your hair color, you have to get like new extension colors. Oh, they're gonna say, a whole new person. You have to get a whole new wardrobe. You do. You're a different person. I have to walk into rooms differently. I have to walk differently. I talk differently. Me with bangs, much more anxious. Oh yeah, no, you're more neurotic with bangs. You have to be like, girls with bangs are smart. Because they have to prepare. Girls with bangs have something... Something hiding under there.

19:22Also, I love how you only bring them out like when you want. They're not for every occasion. I just pretend I don't have them. It's giving snooki right now. That's me just being like... And I'm 33, I don't give a fuck what you said. Do you know what I love that I can't pull off, but I want you to? I love when they take the bang and they do that side, like slick side, like short. Okay, well, it's funny because I didn't know anything that I was gonna wear to the Chanel dinner, but all I wanted to do was like a slick back bun, like all the way back, like no part. Oh. And then just like one bang. I don't know why that was my vision, but because I don't even have my outfit yet. Well, the bang just be like... Like alfalfa. I want just like one. Let me slick down like, like curled? No, not like slick to my forehead, just like that, but like that was my vision.

20:24But I go on pinch, all I do is Pinterest. Sorry, this is pretty privilege and I have to call it out. She's like, what if we just did like a random this and a random that? And it's like, yeah, you'll look pretty because you have like a nice symmetrical, beautiful face. Meanwhile, I was on a Zoom yesterday with Grace, my hair and a bun. And I started playing with these hairs, and I was just like braiding them. New growth. That looks like new growth, Hannah. What if I show up at the Chanel dinner like this? With the right outfit, it's actually really shh. I have a bone to pick with you because, and I have, and I've actually been keeping it in, because I haven't even wanted to broach the subject with you. It's only 8.53 a.m. and now you want to start shit with me. Come on, let's go. It's not, it's gonna end up working in your favor though, but a couple months ago, you brought something up and you said, and we all made fun of you, and we said you were crazy and outlandish. If I had a nickel, if I had a fucking nickel, but really you were right,

21:29and he was a monster. But Hannah, I can't stop thinking about like a pixie cut. Like a really short, like a super, like one of my girlfriends has a super short haircut, and she looks cute. I got goose bumps. Like I'm gonna cry. That's my dream for you. I just can't stop thinking about like, okay, like what if I got a bob? But what if I did a different kind of bob, and it was really more just like, and then I'm like, that's a pixie. Audrey Hepburn, and you just do all different, you can do all your weird little fuckin' bangs. Yeah, I know. But like, not, it needs to commit. I wanna see the shape of the back of your head. Here's the thing, here's the thing, it's not just changing my hair. I need new friends. I need new, like I need new restaurants. I need new outfits. She goes, you're the first that's getting cut, babe.

22:30And if you're not fire engine red, I'm sorry, are we kidding? Oh, this... I can't walk in with a pixie cut. And then just my brunette friend, you need to be something. Wait, if you walked into the Chanel dinner with a literal pixie, Everglow New York City would we have a pixie cut by the fall? No, I mean, that is so extreme. I'd have to really be going through something to just like do that other stream. No, I know. But I've been thinking about it. There's just so many factors. I'm inspired by my mom, but like maybe do it when you're pregnant one day. Like it's summer, you're pregnant, and you wanna cut it off. I just feel like a massive round face matching my stomach. The last thing I'm thinking about is cutting my hair up to here. Yeah, your tongue is gonna be too swollen. Because I gain weight in my face. First one I know. The first place I gain weight in my face. No, I do.

23:31When I got my wisdom teeth out, my dad said, don't look at me. He said, I'm sorry. All I have to say is it's giving your cat journey where like you told me, at one point you were like literally go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself. And then one day you were like, I have an idea. I'm no better than a man. You're no better than a man. I'm no better than a man. But it's gonna take longer. Because even when you first said I wanted to cut, it took a lot of time. One thing about me, I have to do things on my own time. I know. And that could be three minutes. That could be three years. That's why one thing I've never, I've never pressured you to do anything. But I do have recommendations. Yeah. Where you on the other hand will be like, you look like shit. I can't do this anymore. You look like a clown. By the way, the beginning of summer house I was blonde. And Noah talks about it. I didn't know I was blonde. Can we talk about that? Do you ever not know that you're blonde?

24:32I thought I was just getting highlights. You know what? I didn't realize you didn't know you weren't blonde. Until one day you came in with like a super low light. And you were like, hey, I was blonde. It's because I can't communicate with people. Remember when like J-Lo went, can we just say J-Lo? Remember Jennifer Lopez went like super blonde or like kind of blonde for a- Like a Kardashian went blonde? That's what you are at that color. You were like honey-ish. It's insane how bad I am at communicating when all I fucking do is talk to people all day. But like I can't communicate and I never wanted- I always wanted warm. Like I like warm tones. Anyway, I have a really bad miscommunication problem. I went to a chiropractor yesterday. Shout out to all my good glows in the DM. They're like, hey, I went to Harvard. I'm physical therapist. This is what you should do. I am physical therapy is number one, by the way. I don't recommend chiropractor over physical therapy. Chiropractor was just me having some fun. Having some whimsy.

25:33Yeah, just testing it out, seeing what works. But lady, like my biggest fear is when I do stuff, it's going to make it worse. Like I've got a massage and made it worse. I'm going to chiropractor. I'm like, please don't make it worse. I got Botox and my master's and made my life worse. This is why I don't do things. This is why I don't leave the house. Right. So I go- And I've done this thing. They put the stem machine on the- And what they normally say is like, let us know when we should stop. Describe the contraption. They put this like cold stuff like an ultrasound on your back. And they put these like stickers on. And it adds like electricity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they don't want to electrocute you, but they want to like do it strong enough that it's doing something. So you tell them like when it's strong enough. Is it like instant relief? It feels like a deep, deep stimulation. I did something like that, but it was for like to get abs. You're like, I did that on my clip. Sorry. Alexa made me go and like do that somewhere on like my butt and my abs.

26:34Did it work? I mean, maybe. I don't know. Not really. I'm glad it felt good. But she like, I've done this before. They always say like, tell us when it's strong enough. She like didn't say that. How many levels like, like it goes up to like levels. You just hear like beep, beep, and it just keeps getting stronger. But she didn't verbalize like say something. Okay. And like in that moment by the, I'm like, she should say that. And then she's like, just doing it. And I'm like, does she know? And then it gets like really fucking strong. And then I guess I like can't be assertive. And finally, I'm like, that's good. And then she's like, great, leaves the room. It's way too strong. Oh my god, Hannah. My back is like spasming. And then as my back is spasming, I'm like, do I yell from this side? I'm like, I'm like, I'm not yelling from this office. And then I'm like, I'm the trapped, like getting electrocuted. Like I'm getting a lobotomy. How are the patches on you? Are they like stuck to you? Yeah, they're like stick. You can rip it off. But like, I'm not trying to create a scene.

27:35No, I would have ripped it off. See, that's, I can't beat. No. If I'm uncomfortable, I'm screaming. I have a high tolerance for my back is like, oh, oh, oh. Like it's like, I can feel it spasming. And then I'm like, okay, she'll come back to check on me, right? She'll come back. So I'm spasming. And then I hear like someone come into the office and it's like an old employee. And they're all like, oh my god. So then there's like stuff in your happy birthday. He's like, surprise. It's been 20 years and everyone's like, how have you been? Tell us everything. How's your life? I'm like, I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. And then tell us everything. How's your, how's your kid, did you have, did you get married? What was the wedding look? Well, when I left in 2004, I'll start there. What? Every employee is now like in the lobby talking to this person. So I'm like, this is now, if I was going to cause a scene like now, like this is way. Yeah, I can't. So then she eventually came in. I was like, can you make a little less? And she's like, OK, good news.

28:36I woke up this morning in my back. Not fucked, but that's just a glimpse into the life of me trying to better myself. How long realistically do you think you were laying there with it turned all the way up? Like, like five minutes time. It fell? Like two hours. Oh yeah. It was probably like eight minutes now. So you would have like escaped. Before she left the room I would have been like actually let's lower it a little. You know that's what it is. I don't listen to my first instinct. You have to. You have to. You have to. This is the only thing I listen to. Do you know what I want to say though? Now that I'm 35. I was voicing on someone and like I knew Tee about someone that they knew. And normally I would just be like wanting to be liked and just like tell them just to like be a fun friend. Did you tell me this Tee? Yeah you know this game.

29:36Proceed. And then I stopped for a second. I said you know what? You can't just tell everyone everything. You can't. And I've lived my whole life telling everyone everything. I'm trying to be like okay she might not think this conversation is fun. Is it would have been? But I don't need to spread information to people who might I don't trust with it. Well what people don't realize truly. The art of gossip is to is to actually not gossip. Because so many people like will tell you things because they'll be like who she's going to tell. She's never told the single. So you have to have one person that you tell everything to. But you can't say it to everyone because then not everyone's going to tell you stuff. So you you need to keep your mouth shut so that certain people feed you the info. Like I feel like I've stared people straight in the face.

30:36Listen to a story that they've told me about themselves. And in my head I've been like I already know. I already know this gossip. I was gossiping with someone not even. I actually wasn't gossiping because it was about myself. I was telling someone about myself. And this person started to cry. And I was like oh my god. Why are you crying? It's a truly you don't have to cry. Like I'm not upset. Like I'm just like I'm telling you this story that happened in my life. You don't have to cry about this. They stopped crying. And they said yeah sorry I actually don't know why I did that because I already know this story. She was acting too hard. I was like I've never heard it before. She's like it was one of those moments. Honey I remember where I was. What time it was with Dave the week. I stopped dead in my tracks. I go never had I ever had someone admit to me that they were like that they were scamming

31:40me like that they already knew the gossip. Now if I know something I'm not saying. I'm not saying yeah I know so and so told me especially if you're telling me like a vulnerable story. I'm in the moment with you. I'm forgetting that I even knew this. You don't want to give away your source. Yeah. I do feel like there's a lot of comedy gossip where like when I'm in the road with my openers like I haven't been in the clubs in a minute. So I that's the best gossip because like I'm not there. So I'm like it's it doesn't have to do with me. Yeah. So that's like the best kind of gossip. About other people. Yeah, this is the best when you're not involved. Your friends aren't involved. That's the best kind of gossip. I think people open up to me and then I have this wealth of knowledge. I would never tell if someone says don't tell anyone I wouldn't tell. It was insecurities of my own that I wasn't enough. I wasn't enough just existing and you have to have unconditional love surrounding you.

32:42Not based on good gossip that you figured out. Sometimes I've gotten some of the best gossip in the world and someone has called me and been like I know you have this gossip and I have been like I really don't what do you like what have you also think I can't lie. Yeah. You're you're better not lying but you're better at poker face. Yes. Because I feel like I deep down in my core of my personality is who are you? I don't owe you anything. Who are you to ask me something that I know that you think that you should also know? Where you're nicer. One follow-up question you get it from me. One follow-up. Where you don't have that. No, I am to you know what it is. This is what it is. I'm too trusting. And you're not pessimistic about anything where I am. When I meet someone I assume they're angels.

33:43I assume they've been brought to me by God to be a beautiful spirit in my life. And then I get fucked. And nine times out of ten. And it's crazy at thirty. That's what it is. I'm so trusting that I assume people will like savor the information the right way. Not use it against me. Not use it against other people. Because I'm just having an accent fun. Because the first person they're calling they're saying guess what the fuck Hannah Berner just told me. That's how they're starting out the story. And I don't know if it's also because I am like a tennis nerd. Where like my social stuff was like me playing mind games with girls on tennis courts. It wasn't like friend drama. Like my drama was competing. You're all girl school like that's one oh one you you use information as power. My boyfriend in high school got asked to prom from by a different girl at a different

34:46school at like two in the afternoon. I knew by two fifteen. Like I there were no bounds to my web. Like I knew like eyes and ears everywhere babe. He's like I just left that class. How do you find that out? You go also it was me who asked him I was testing him. I goes me in a wig. In a mustache. This is before we had DMs okay. We were old school we stalked. Like cyber stalking get a grip get in a car drive by his house. What also this girl I posted on my story this this great tennis player actually who works for the USDA found we were in the eastern section. Wait the USDA. You would love this the United States tennis association. USDA why did I just think like worked for like me like the US and like wait works for like a farm which sounds amazing.

35:48So you would have loved it because tennis was divided by section so there was like this eastern girls there's the southern girls so like we would have these thing called zone holes where we'd be like the eastern girls will compete against like the southern girls and it was fucking crazy but also we the eastern girls would compete against each other so we also had beef with each other so it was just like really complicated and layered. But they I guess they'd have these like little magazines where they put photos of like the rankings and she found like in 2004 I guess I was number one in girls doubles in for the eastern section and I saw that photo I remember like the young Hannah that like that was everything yeah to be in that little magazine and my face and I'm just like but like when you're in that magazine you're like how old 2004 2004 you're what and like I guess I was like 12th or yeah I was 12. Wow time really flies. No I know. Do you know how I know I'm old?

36:50This new thing is happening to me when I see another girl especially if she's younger I like want to call her a nickname. Don't do that. Not like a like sweet hot but like I want to be like hi honey like I want you know yes yes like yes and I've never had that urge but not really what age you starting like where are you seeing a girl in your life maybe like early 20s I just want to be like hi babe like I want to baby them and it's funny because when you're their age and older women say honey do you you're like please don't do that yeah please don't do that it's something that just happens when you're older you just like want to give them petting. Want a nurture yeah it's I think it's mother nature I think it's our biological clock. I didn't consciously decide this though it just started coming out I'd be like hi honey. I think it's the thing that men try to weaponize against us. Yeah I'm trying to take it take it back. That's how I feel honestly sometimes watching certain reality shows where the girls are

37:51so much younger I'm like oh but I like I need some message right do you know how many times I've had to stop myself from DMing people on reality TV that are younger than me and honestly I have any I don't stop myself sometimes. Oh I said I fully DM people. Like sometimes they actually do need to hear. Do you want to do it? Do it's going to be okay. There was one girl I wanted to DM like a couple years ago and just be like don't let him gas like you don't dare but I was like I can't get it I can't get involved I can't get involved. Not to tease but my reality show that I'm hosting they were moments where I was like trying to make eye contact with one of the girls and I was literally I went by looked at her and I'm like you're right like I was giving them I like I was trying to coach them through my eyes because like definitely not part of the job description for me to like take sides but I was like girl look at me you're good you're good don't talk anymore you're good don't say anything they're trying to get it out of you. I think one of the reasons I don't do it more often is because I'm like oh what if she

38:54like screenshots this and posts this and so and like how many times do you write it out and then delete it. I'm so many times where I'm like girl do not under any circumstances. Because I felt moments where I've wanted to like write whole paragraphs to Whitney from um well how so I was more than wise. Sorry slow what is it slow more than wise to secrets the secrets of the why is it so many fucking words now it's really it's it's actually infuriating the secret lives of Mormon wives I want whoever whoever put that through and said yeah this is the name come to the front because what are you thinking. So that's coming out but like there's a lot of drama with it right. Oh I don't even know I'm not even I'm not in the know. Wait I feel like it's coming out like today. Oh is it I feel like did I didn't even see any promo.

39:56There's something weird with it. Oh honestly amazing because yeah. Oh I'm gonna make breakfast. I know you're like suddenly of a purpose. I'm a pep in my stuff. You want to know something though that I think is a good learning lesson for us because we are getting older and we do have these urges to reach out. We have an urge for human connection. We've been virtual for too long. We forgot that we could actually sit together for this podcast. We haven't been in the same place. We haven't been in the same place starting in beginning of October. That's it we're back. You're gonna be so sick of us at the table together. We're coming to the table. Elbows on the table baby. We keep coming up with spin-off shoes. Now what was I saying? What was I saying? You're learning for human connection. As we yearn for human connection I think one of the one of the most amazing things about

40:58getting older is you get that urge to reach out to someone who may be younger. Do it. I think that is the whole point. So sometimes when I do stop myself, I mean I stop myself for different reasons because it could get into the wrong hands. But if I'm in person with someone and a girl brings something up to me, I'm grabbing her hand and I'm giving it to her straight. Well if you could change someone's life, do it. I'll get a lot of normal DMs of boyfriend and girlfriend's fighting and they'll give me the scenario should I break up with them and I don't respond to some of them because I'm like this is normal. You're gonna figure it out. I'm not worried about you. But sometimes I'll get a really insane one from a girl and I'm like if I don't respond this could be the whole rest of her life. She can't get to this man. Like there was one I can't even like really remember the details but I was like get out. Get out. If you don't get out by tomorrow, like message me.

42:00I do get messages from girls where they're like I know I should leave I know I should leave and I feel like they just send it to me where I know that they're just like if Hannah responds it's like they already know they should leave. So then I just go yeah you know what you're doing like I'll just like agree kind of what it's like X2 where they're like yes you're you're on your path. It's very improv. It's very improv. But also my favorite though is people being like I found this cat in the driveway should I keep it and I'm like yes here's an Amazon list for all the things you need to buy. It's really not it's affordable like just what food I got you I'll help you name it. I'll be you raise it. Also a thing with getting older. You know when you're younger and like your aunt says stuff to you and you're like why would you say that? Like do you know even little things like you're at a family reunion and someone goes up to you and they're like can I sit next to you and you're like yeah sit like I don't go fuck sit like why are you asking and then I'm literally going up to low. No but you know what I was like is it okay if I sit next to you.

43:01Is this the take it yeah and you're just like yeah why are you like no you old bags sit out. But then I'm literally like lowest will be like finger painting and there's like a seat next to her and I don't know where it comes from it's like a gutter old thing I just go can I sit next to you and she looks at me she's like bitch sit down I'll go fuck I'll go fuck but why are you asking sit the fuck down and I'm like it's okay if auntie Hannah makes plop of swan next to you she gets so like is this your taking low low. I am every older person that asked me where it said I'm doing you got so big you got so big. What's I'm saying that's it people you were so little and you're so big you know shit. I think if Lois is a really good reminder for us that like we're not geriatric we're

44:03not moms yet we have to remember like get it together yeah get it together it was Lois's birthday yesterday she's four years old time flies and genie's TikTok time flies when you're unemployed truly I wanted to text her so bad happy birthday like I search Lois in my phone and then I'm like oh I have to go through her mom I'm like Jeannie give me the phone get the phone to Lois I know you're her legal guardian beginning past the phone also she was just stuffing her face with spaghetti I'm like you're so you're such a giggle that's so such a birthday energy because we come up with business ideas on this pod I was like Jeannie I have the best fucking idea like the best invention because the girl the they'll eat their spaghetti and then it's they take the phone it gets everywhere the spaghetti all over the house they were staying at why is that do you am I delusional that I think like your kids gonna be neat your kids gonna know what he's a fork and

45:08knife out of the world I just think I'm like so delusional not my not maybe my son no how much agonistic of me oh my god no I just think that my daughter's gonna come out like perfect what are the classes they take to like know how to use which fork to use she won't have to take them she just knows like etiquette she teaches them she's a four year old baby genius she's like tech you're sure then obviously it's gonna happen I'm gonna have kids and they're gonna make a mess but I just feel like my daughter is gonna be like the least messy of the messy kids the gig with that's not okay cannot wait to see what comes out of you because there's a 50-50 and neither can I oh yeah I was like spaghetti is and the red sauce like it's everywhere I'm like what if we invented a sauce that didn't die close and she was like yeah it's called pass it with butter and I'm like you're fucking good I though you were like gonna try and take the

46:10red I'm like how are we taking the red out of tomato and that's just clear and that's but no like kids favorite food is like the most diabolical it gets everywhere the marinara sauce that's the one thing Italians need to work on pass it with butter I mean I'll always come back to her do you put a little parmesan on it or no a little oh you you you drown it honey I'm using so much butter and parmesan cheese your head would spit yeah it's almost like inedible I love that it's the best I love that I don't know if this is on your algorithm and it's probably not but I feel like it's going a little bit viral but there's this like teenage boy I think he's a teenage boy honestly I haven't looked into it but he said that he he made like a serious video that like he thinks he could beat like a chimpanzee in a fight so why are you trying to hurt an animal

47:16oh people were like stitching the video like in no situation like could you be a chimpanzee and I feel like it's becoming the new like I can land a plane like I do you really think I couldn't land a plane like I could land this plane and I don't know why I and I almost think my comic got deleted what did you say like he made like a follow up video of like no this is why I could be a chimpanzee and I just commented then do it quick quick making tick-tock also that it's like the plot of planet of the apes okay wait it's starting I tell them to watch plan the apes the world is gonna be run by apes because all the men try to fight them and apes were like what are you doing but what are the reasons I love when things like this happen on the internet when these like niche random videos are like viral is because some of the comments are so funny and somebody commented and I don't know why this made me laugh so hard but he was like a chimp would absolutely park you dude like and you just measure a cheap chimpy like let me go bro

48:22let me go he would put you in the ground like there's also what's with the violence like god no men link that's how they measure I think I think that's something in their own insecurity to like measure their worth based on how strong physically they are the other thing I like about older men is like scientifically their testosterone is leveling out yeah I would say I have the same amount of testosterone as any man in their 40s you are just a 40 year old man I low key am it's actually gross speaking of testosterone actually that this is not a segue I was trying but I can't I can't yes end it um I'm a little nervous about the fashion show tomorrow because there's something about when I'm with you in public settings I get giddy you know when I get like I'm excited I'm talking everyone and when I'm at the show like I feel like I'm gonna cheer

49:22there I say we drowned out the noise yeah we just do an eye one we're there do you have any rules for me etiquette wise because I don't want to embarrass you in front of people like I know I do but you can't cheer but like if I like something I can't be like yes honey okay this is actually a really good debate that I don't think I've seen anyone truly talk about I think you have to go with the vibe of the show yeah you it's like the US open like see what other people are doing and follow the salmon it's more like it has to be an internal vibe check of like I could yell right now and it would be received well yeah I would never even if it was yeah yeah like do you know what I mean yes like I'm never sitting at a runway show and yeah like if you make eye contact with a model that you know I smile but I'm clapping I'm always clapping I'm not not cheering them on I'm like that's what I'm not like sitting at them and being like that's your walk like no I'm

50:26cheering yes but I'm not making it vocal I think that's I think it's a little like it's the sports in me where it's like yeah you have to you're like yes let's go babe come on like one time I was at a fashion show and it was like very very intimate like it was not a lot of people at all there was like two separate rooms it was a dinner yeah it was an event where people were eating um this one girl was like yelling the whole time and I'm like it's not even the vibe here you could just say my name but this is the thing with fashion shows the music's loud like when we went to Michael Cours it was loud I I think because it's not my first it was just my first show I was unaware that people like don't react like if I'm at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show yeah you're yelling yes yes yes but also we don't have to be on a win tour when people walk down you don't have to like have a poker face but also I'm rarely raising my I'm rarely yeah name another situation where I'm yelling

51:34like you've you've literally yelled at men and there's not going to be any like man and that's it I'm only raising my voice out of me in any other situation I'm only yelling yeah I'm not making no yeah that's such a good point so but also like Michael Cours this is the third year they've invited me so like I clearly haven't offended anyone I love them to death I love the team love Michael like sometimes it's good to be in the background in certain situations yes you're really good you know when to step back yes sometimes I'm like I'm actually leaving I'm so in the background I'm going home sometimes it's okay to be an extra before we leave I just wanted to say um Daphne is launching a Saint the Saint Jude t-shirt because I am the childhood cancer awareness ambassador and I've partnered with Saint Jude and we're gonna do like a bunch of different things throughout the year but the first thing was Daphne making this t-shirt so they're going they should be on mind today and is it a Hannity it's a Hannity with the Saint Jude logo and I just have to tell this

52:39like really quick story because like I love Daphne the label and the cat but because there's so many different things that happen that are fun and just like funny that you're just like in what world so we were like mocking up this t-shirt and we were like doing different things and at one point we like wrote like okay Saint Jude logo here and we're like okay let's see like how that would look like let's like make it and when we got it back it said Saint Jude logo here okay Nike once did a like tennis thing where it said like logo here and it was like iconic it's kind of like the Mark Jacobs where they were like the tote bag yes so maybe it's like look someone and I was like I don't know if this is gonna work but there were just so many funny things like that that will happen at Daphne but and that's a startup baby and that's a startup and I'm so excited about this because when I first started Daphne I was like thinking about what charity yeah would make the most sense for us to partner with and someone something happened and someone

53:41had said Saint Jude and I was like that's so weird I have an email from someone from Saint Jude for something so different and it just felt very like universe telling me so I like reached out to them and we partnered together and so I'm really excited about this t-shirt I love that so much and because it's the hand at T let me know any events I can come to to represent my my brands into your involvement well that's amazing final question shout out Saint Jude is um fringe for fall are we doing it or not fringe for fall I feel like fringe is always fall for fall okay it's not it's not too whimsical like you know if you like turn and like hit someone with your fringe like is it too much no you can do fringe okay here's what I'll say I haven't bought anything fringe yet but go off pop off queen okay you heard it you heard it from the source um guys we love you so much have an amazing weekend I'll see you at the US open on their all weekend

54:45two days in a row love you guys talk to you later bye